United League of Lunatics & Lucha Libre Puroresu
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| | | Banzai Ultimo 07/22/2012 |  |
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The Morbidly Obese Man
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 |  Subject: Banzai Ultimo 07/22/2012  Wed Nov 25, 2015 7:31 am | |
|  Jim Jackson: "Welcome and good evening ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages to the best wrestling show in the planet! That's right it's time for Banzai Ultimo where tonight we have a special treat for the sold out crowd. The LLP World Champion Colton Charles Cai Cobb shall be defending his world title against Ray Kamaura in a HELL IN A CELL match! Joining me at ringside here tonight is Mick Mooney!"
Mick Mooney: "Thanks for the intro dude. Aloha wrestling fans, as Jimbo mentioned tonight we shall have the first ever hell in a cell match but that's not all, we also have other great matches including Chasm versus Crusade! That's right the veteran dude shall be taking on the preacher dude in a one on one match to maybe finally settle the score."
Jim Jackson: "I'm sure the crowd watching here live and those watching our live streaming tonight from their homes are already drooling with anticipation so without further ado... LET THE ACTION BEGIN!"  The Lights dim as you hear Fortune's voice yell "Where are all the beautiful ladies tonight" as "DANCE" By Justice plays. Fortune comes out holding a bouquet of roses and as he walks towards the ring and begins handing them out to women in the audience. He enters the ring climbs to the second turnbuckle and blows kisses to women in the audience. He then proceeds to hop down off of the turnbuckle, grab a mic and speak into it.
Johnny Fortune: "So yeah, I lost."
He waits 1.3 seconds.
Johnny Fortune: "Ah well, on to the now. And now I've been put in a match with a man who disrespects everything I stand for. He thinks of women as nothing more than tools, tools as a mean to reach his next orgasm and personally I find that offensive to every single beautiful woman in this tent tonight. Now I can't understand that, When a woman enters the bedroom of Johnny Fortune she is treated like a queen and every need is attended to, and I mean EVERY need. Yuki would kick them out of the bed when he peaked and then would proceed to throw her out of the home... He forced a lovely young woman who has a fear of being in front of cameras to well be in front of the cameras. Now it's one thing to help her overcome a fear but when it's purely for your own narcissistic desires it's wrong."
He waits 4.3 seconds.
Johnny Fortune: "However, regardless of any philosophy differences we may have what really matters is how the match goes. Now, in case you haven't noticed I'm not a giant. Yuki is about a foot taller than me and I won't come out here and lie saying that it's not intimidating. But regardless of his height, weight, style, or type of body spray he uses that doesn't change one simple fact: Yuki Monotomo you will hit that mat after I deliver an Unfortunate End and it will be all over 1... 2... 3"
Fortune drops the mic as he proceeds to make conversation with a few females inside the tent. The trailer door to Marcus Troy's office slams open as a clearly irked Lucha Libre Puroresu World Champion Colton Charles Cai Cobb steps in and makes his way to the general manager's desk. He slams both palms down upon it getting the attention of Marcus Troy. Not allowing the general manager to speak first, the angry champion starts his tirade.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "A hell in a cell match for my title? This is unacceptable! I am the champion! Why does a brat like Kamaura get his demands approved? He already got his title shot and he didn't get the title. I wasn't even consulted about this booking Troy! I am YOUR champion, you should be taking care of me! Now why don't you prance yourself out there and correct this little error?"
C4 stares down at Marcus Troy who is clearly not intimidated by the champion.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Over the years, you've made a lot of enemies Troy and it would be advisable for you not to make me one of them. You should understand best that in the business the right allies can mean your continued success and the wrong ones can mean your downfall..."
Colton Charles Cai Cobb pulls a chair over and sits down, his arms folded waiting for a reply from the general manager of LLP.Lighting a cigar, Marcus Troy casually and nonchalantly takes a puff. His eyes show no signs of alarm nor emotions as he returns the stare of Colton Charles Cai Cobb.
Marcus Troy: "You seem to forget one thing Mr. Cobb. This is MY federation, which means I am GOD here. I should take care of you? The person I should be taking care of is MYSELF! Ticket sales have gone through the roof, advance payments for internet live streaming have also doubled. You do not accept? Then I shall simply strip you of the title. Oh yes I can do that, read the clause here."
The general manages opens the rules and regulations of LLP and points out a section in the page. The camera zooms into the passage...
Section VIII - If a champion should in any way be unable to defend his title in a booked match, whether it be due to injury, his own volition or other circumstances, management shall have the right to strip the champion of the title he currently holds.
A smug expression appears on Marcus Troy's face as he sees C4's face harden with anger.
Marcus Troy: "You say I should choose my allies wisely? Well Mr. Cobb that is what I am doing. You may have won the belt but so far I have yet to see what you can really do with it. Your initial title defense against Mr. Kamaura was a joke. You may have walked away with the title but I was not impressed by your performance. In fact if I were to choose an ally, Mr. Kamaura seems like a better choice at this point."
Marcus Troy takes another puff from his cigar before continuing.
Marcus Troy: "Your threats as of now hold absolutely no power Mr. Cobb. Beat Mr. Kamaura in tonight's match and maybe we can talk again. As far as I'm concerned, this conversation is over. Now shall you leave quietly or should I have you thrown out? Either way it makes no difference to me."
The general manager sits back and continues to enjoy his cigar waiting for the angry champion to excuse himself and exit the trailer.Gritting his teeth and clenching his fist, the champion slowly rises from the chair.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "You are making a big mistake Troy... A very big mistake. FINE! I shall make an example of Ray Kamaura tonight. Call it his unlucky night for I will destroy him and then I shall come back... FOR YOU. You think this conversation is over? Well think again Troy... Think again!"
His threat made, Colton Charles Cai Cobb spins around and exits the trailer slamming the door behind him as the scene fades to black.“Shinigami” by Machinae Supremacy blares in the arena as Yuki Monotomo makes his way down the ramp toward the ring in his usual business suit. He tosses a group of female fans the jacket he wore before he enters the ring. Yuki goes to bring the microphone to his mask, but just laughs and puts it back down. He takes a moment to breathe before speaking again.
Yuki Monotomo: “Really?! A guy who truly believes that he is working for the women and thinks I’M a bad guy! That’s hilarious! I can’t let myself be with just one woman! That would deprive the women of me. That’s a bad thing. Who would bring them to the edge of passion and drive them off the cliff of happiness and into the ocean of ecstasy!? Who I ask you? Not him. That would be a job for me. Who can satisfy them over and over again? Not him. That would be me. I’d rather be wrestling a nice lady tonight, but instead I get a chauvinist who thinks women need to be protected. All women need to be let to do as they wish. Do I force them into my dressing tent? No. Do they get undressed in said tent? Yes. Is it of their own free will? Yes. So what am I doing wrong?”
The blue ninja raises his arms to the crowd as he falls to his knees in an over-dramatic performance. He pinches his face.
Yuki Monotomo: “Do these women need a protector or a friend? I think that no one is in danger here except for those who fell for his fake charms and closed attitude. Don’t worry lost lambs, I shall comfort you however you wish. I will be the only savior here. A savior from him. A savior from all the bad wrestling here at the LLP all the way up to UJJ. I will become the savior here at the LLP.”
He raises from his knees and walks toward the crowd with outstretched arms.
Yuki Monotomo: “Who wishes to come with me?”
A few female fans walk out from the crowd and follow out to Yuki. He walks back up the ramp and leads the women to his trailer.  VS Johnny Fortune VS Yuki MonotomoJim Jackson: "And we kick things off tonight with the two so-called ladies men of LLP going against each other. Who shall pervail? Yuki Monotomo or the newcomer Johnny Fortune?"
Mick Mooney: "I think these two guys should wake up and smell the coffee dude, there is only one ladies man here in LLP and that is the awesome ME!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, standing in at 5 feet 11 and 1/2 inches tall, weighing in at 177 pounds, hailing from San Francisco, California... JOHNNY FORTUNE!"
The lights dim as you hear Fortune's voice yell "Where are all the beautiful ladies tonight" as "DANCE" by Justice plays Fortune comes out holding a bouquet of roses and as he walks towards the ring begins handing them out to women in the audience. He enters the ring climbs to the second turnbuckle and blows kisses to women in the audience.
Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for the evening, standing at 6 feet 11 inches tall and weighing in at 250 pounds, hailing from Tokyo, Japan... YUKI MONOTOMO!"
"Shinigami" by Machinae Supremacy echoes throughout the arena. Fog rolls down the ramp as ice blue lasers fly to the beat of the music. Yuki Monotomo walks slowly toward the ring, taking time to flirt with a few female fans. After entering the ring, he blows a few kisses at some female fans from each ring corner.
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this evening is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE ACTION BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Yuki Monotomo charges straight towards Johnny Fortune. Fortune hits a dropkick on Monotomo and gets right back up. Monotomo also rolls back to his feet, Fortune with another dropkick sends Monotomo crashing back first into the turnbuckles. A third dropkick makes sure Monotomo stays there."
Mick Mooney: "Whoa dude, sometimes the most simple of moves is the most effective. That masked Jap didn't even get to blink."
Jim Jackson: "Looks like Johnny Fortune is going for a fourth dropkick... Fortune leaps... Yuki Monotomo charges forward and knocks Fortune down in mid-air! Monotomo climbs to the top turnbuckle... Will he fly? NO! Fortune swipes his legs and Monotomo crashes into the turnbuckles crotch first!"
Mick Mooney: "Totally bummer dude, I hope Monotomo can still perform later after this match. From his howls, I think he may have reached Michael Jackson pitch..."
Jim Jackson: "Johnny Fortune leaps up towards Yuki Monotomo... SUPER frankensteiner on Monotomo! Monotomo is down and Fortune quickly hooks the leg."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Mick Mooney: "Whoa! Despite hitting the canvas hard and going loopy as a result, Monotomo managed to kick out at two... Even that pink haired dude looks surprised."
Jim Jackson: "Johnny Fortune goes for a kick just as Yuki Monotomo struggles back up to his feet... Monotomo somehow blocks it! Forearm to the face from Monotomo on Fortune. Fortune takes a running knee lift from Monotomo. Fortune just got knocked to the other side of the ring! Monotomo goes for the cover."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Mick Mooney: "The pink haired dude managed to get a shoulder up at two! Looks like that Jap dude still needs to put in some more effort, though the running knee lift made me remember the late great Curt Hennig."
Jim Jackson: "Johnny Fortune eats a flying knee from Yuki Monotomo! He struggles to get up... Shining wizard by Monotomo! Though he almost botched that one..."
Mick Mooney: "Which means it's a rusty wizard then? Oh! The Jap dude goes for the pin."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Johnny Fortune still kicks out at two. Irish whip by Yuki Monotomo sends Fortune to the rope... He bounces back and runs straight into a spinning heel kick which almost causes a decapitation! Monotomo looks like he's setting Fortune up for a submission... Fortune gets to the ropes fast! Monotomo charges in but Fortune kicks him in the gut to reverse the momentum! Fortune goes flying and hits a springboard flying crossbody!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Mick Mooney: "The Jap dude denies the pink haired dude the win! Looks like this battle is far from over. Fortune going for an Irish whip... REVERSED!!! WAIT REVERSED AGAIN! Monotomo hits the turnbuckles hard!"
Jim Jackson: "Johnny Fortune struggles to get Yuki Monotomo up onto the top turnbuckle... He somehow manages it! Monotomo is trying to get some blows in... Fortune leaps! ANOTHER SUPER FRANKENSTEINER!!! This is the second one tonight! Fortune leaps to the top turnbuckle... Moonsault connects! He goes for the cover! Is this it?"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."
Mick Mooney: "Oh! Total bummer for the pink haired dude, I seriously thought he had the win there but that Jap dude gets a shoulder up like at 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999...."
Jim Jackson: "We get the picture Mick... Implant DDT by Johnny Fortune! Yuki Monotomo is barely responding... Fortune has a chance to finish it here... A few strikes from Fortune keeps Monotomo grounded... And now Fortune leaps to the turnbuckles and... He's playing the crowd! He should finish Monotomo now before... Oh too late! Monotomo pounds Fortune's back with a double axe handle. Monotomo lifts Fortune... Powerslam! Fortune is down! Fortune struggles back to his feet... Yuki Monotomo sweeps Johnny Fortune's leg out from under him and wretches his left arm under Johnny Fortune's neck with the elbow over the Adam's apple... IT'S THE WHITE DRAGON HOLD!!!"
Mick Mooney: "Ooh! Fortune gets trapped in the hold with nowhere to go... He's trying to reach for the ropes but it's too far away! FORTUNE TAPS FORTUNE TAPS!!! The ref calls for the bell! What an awesome comeback by Monotomo!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via submission... YUKI MONOTOMO!"
Jim Jackson: "This match could have gone either way, unfortunately for Johnny Fortune, it didn't go his way tonight."
Mick Mooney: "Looks like the Jap dude gets laid tonight." | |
|  | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Banzai Ultimo 07/22/2012 Wed Nov 25, 2015 7:35 am | |
|  The Camera opens to the parking lot where a Silver Ferrari Enzo drives in and parks in a reserved parking spot. A few moments later, Allister King, exits the car holding a bag which we assume contains his wrestling gear and holding a golf club in the other. He sets the bag down, closes the door and locks the car. He picks up the bag and continues walking towards the entrance of the building while whistling Miserlou by Dick Dale (Pulp Fiction Theme). He notices the cameraman and begins walking towards him.
Allister King: "Rory McRolly has got nothing on me and my swing. Don't believe go ask John Goodman."
Allister drops the bag and swings the golf club and starts laughing
Allister King: "Fat bastard never saw it coming. My guess is he will try to get some sort of revenge tonight but so fuck. It just makes things far more interesting now don't it?"
Allister lifts the bag up with the golf club and has it like a drifter's waltzing Matilda.
Allister King: "UJJ, you will be on the mat by the time that fat fuck gets near me and if I'm good enough you will be the one who gets the full force of the elephant's stampede."
Allister begins walkings away into the building and extends the middle finger.
Allister King: "Ciao Amigo!"
The camera cuts off as he enters the building. The dimness of the backstage of the big top does an admirable job of concealing how small the backstage section actually is. The canvas slowly bobs up and down as the cameraman makes his way through the closed quarters. After a few seconds, the cameraman clears past some equipment to see Excellence, Inc. talking on the far side. Quickly closing the distance, the cameraman manages to get close enough to start catching some of the conversation.
Alexander Conway: “This isn’t right at all. How can you have and advertise a show, in good conscious, when the quality is this outrageously bad?”
The cameraman, finally having got to where Excellence, Inc. has been standing, is able to get the camera into a better angle to view the two men.
Alexander Conway: “Really, how can Troy hope to put on a respectable show like this? Neither one of us have matches! We are the two best wrestlers in this company, the tag team champions, and yet Troy doesn’t book us? How is this even a show without us in it!? Furthermore, how is this a show without even one tag team match in it?”
As he usually does when he is ranting, Alexander gives his partner no time to answer the questions that he deems rhetorical.
Alexander Conway: “If Marcus doesn’t want to put emphasis on his tag team division, or us for that matter, maybe it’s time that we put emphasis on ourselves? Screw Marcus Troy, he doesn’t know how to run a federation. I think it’s time that we take matters into our own hands; what do you think, TMOM? Besides, last time I checked, we had some unfinished business that we needed to attend to anyway.” The camera then zooms to the massive wrestler also known as The Morbidly Obese Man. Anger is seething from his face as his body shook with rage.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Allister King... You screwed the wrong pooch. You want to play this game with us? You think that you and your little golf club will save you when I have my hands around your neck? Think again King, you opened Pandora's box and let loose the demons which I have locked inside and this box doesn't have hope inside... In fact the only thing you'll see inside is your demise."
The camera then zooms in to the side of the big wrestler's head where stitches are seen.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Observe closely King... This wound you have inflicted upon me shall be returned to you tenfold. When I'm done with you, you won't need stitches... What you'll need is a plot of land where you shall be buried and a tombstone."
The Morbidly Obese Man pushes the camera away and walks off as the scene fades to black. VS Allister King VS "Unstoppable" Jack JohnsonJim Jackson: "Well, this next match is an interesting one... Allister King shall be going against "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson..."
Mick Mooney: "Honestly I think King should be more worried about a REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY fat dude..."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, standing in at 6 feet 4 inches tall, weighing in at 235 pounds, hailing from the ancient lands of Ireland... ALLISTER KING!"
The lights in the arena go dim, suddenly Blind Guardian's "A Voice in the Dark" begins to blast throughout the arena and green, ged and blue lighting shine in rhythm to music. Smoke begins to cover the ramp. Allister King makes his way out to the entrance stage wearing a black velvet blindfold. He stands on the ramp and looks out to the crowd. As Allister shouts, pyro goes off at the top of the stage to resemble the breathe of dragons. He begins to slap the hands of all the fans at ringside before rolling into the ring. He climbs to the top turnbuckle, removes the blindfold and poses once more before getting down of the turnbuckle and leans against it.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, his opponent for the evening, standing at 6 feet 6 inches tall and weighing in at 250 pounds, hailing from Calgary, Alberta Canada but resides in St. Louis, Missouri... "UNSTOPPABLE" JACK JOHNSON!"
"Bring It" by Trapt blasts over the arena as every single fan in attendance jumps out of their seats and cheers. "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson enters the stage through a spark shower. He makes his way to the ring. He enters the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, He taunts to the fans and scouts the entire arena.
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Quick. LET THE ACTION BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "There's the bell and we're off! It's "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson who strikes first with a big right... Spinning neckbreaker on Allister King! King struggles to get up... Spinebuster by UJJ! He wants to end this early... UJJ for the cover."
Jack B. Quick: "One! Two..."
Mick Mooney: "UJJ should be thorough and not quick... King is an experienced wrestler dude, UJJ should know that it'll take more than that to get a three."
Jim Jackson: "Allister King reverses a hip toss. King connects with rights and lefts and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson is down! Flying shoulder tackle by King sends UJJ CRASHING to the mat. This time it's King's turn to go for the three count."
Jack B. Quick: "One! Two..."
Mick Mooney: "What the hell dude? King should pour on more punishment before going for the cover."
Jim Jackson: "High Angle DDT by Allister King just SPIKES "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson down! Looks like they aren't holding back anything. King again goes for the cover but UJJ kicks out before the ref can get down to count. Big hammer fist by King and he goes for another cover... Still denied by UJJ."
Mick Mooney: "Looks like UJJ is battling to get back to his feet... Both wrestlers lock wrists... It's one of those test of strength thingee! I wonder which dude will win? Oh wait! King is pushing UJJ back! That's unexpected..."
Jim Jackson: "They break away from each other but Allister King hits a delayed hangman's neckbreaker on "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson! King going for a sleeper hold... UJJ counters the sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! UJJ hits a bulldog off the ropes. He goes for the cover!"
Jack B. Quick: "One! Two..."
Mick Mooney: "Still only a two... That UJJ better think of doing some other move to do more damage or he'll never get a three on that King dude..."
Jim Jackson: "I think he heard you Mick... DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson just PLANTED Allister King!!"
Mick Mooney: "DUDE! I think he's dead Jim! UJJ for the cover..."
Jack B. Quick: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "I would have bought that as the finish! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson slams Allister King down and motions to the crowd. STIFF~! chop lights up King who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Another chop by UJJ and another! King is turning into a bad shade of red... UJJ goes in for the kill but King fights out of a grapple! neckbreaker on UJJ by King! High Angle DDT by Allister King just SPIKES "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson down!"
Mick Mooney: "DUDE! LOOK! IT'S THAT REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY FAT DUDE!!! AND HE'S GOT A CHAIR WITH HIM! King gets distracted!"
Jim Jackson: "And "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson uses it to his advantage! UJJ goes to Irish whip Allister King into the ropes. The Morbidly Obese Man prepares to swing the chair... But Allister King reverses! TMOM accidentally smacks UJJ with a chair to the back! Dropkick by King sends TMOM off the apron and into the ground below! Allister King kicks "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson in the gut and pulls him in and locks in a headlock. He shouts ''Hail to the King'' before lifting "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson into a suplex. Allister spins around a few times before breaking his opponent with a brainbuster. Allister refuses to let go and wraps his legs around "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson and tightens the grip he has on their head with a gullotine choke."
Mick Mooney: "WHOA! UJJ TAPS!!! UJJ TAPS!!! TWO MATCHES TWO SUBMISSIONS! The ref calls for the bell!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via submission... ALLISTER KI..."
Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man blindsides Allister King! Wait! Alexander Conway joins in! It's a two on one on King!"
"Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers as smoke is bellowed out from smoke machines. Out from the smoke the figure of Marcus Troy, the general manager of Lucha Libre Puroresu emerges from the back. Dressed in a three piece Armani suit, he quickly strides down the walkway and stops right outside the ring with a mic in one hand and a lit cigar in another. He is surrounded by security personnel.
Marcus Troy: "Stop that right this instant! These attacks after matches has got to stop. Now let's book a match that will make both parties happy... Since nothing can stop the collision between TMOM and King... In two weeks, we shall have a tag match... Excellence, Inc. versus Allister King and a partner of his choice... FOR THE LLP TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! You whined about not being booked in a match tonight Conway? Well don't worry, I'm sure I can keep you busy the following shows to come. Now both parties return to your respective lockers or I shall have you thrown out!"
With that, Marcus Troy turns around and exits as "Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing again.
Mick Mooney: "Whoa dude! What an announcement from the boss..." A loud, eerie chanting begins to chime through the big house before The Beast (Evangelion 2.0 soundtrack) begins to play. After a moment Crusade shambles out onto the ring ramp, his matted hair nearly covering his face as he makes his way to the ring. The zealot is wearing a plain blue jean shorts along with wrestling boots, he is bare chested, showing off the tattoo of a cross on his chest. Once near the ring he rolls in, quickly making his way to the back end of the ring to await the start of the match.
Crusade: "Well it's been a long road has it not, Chasm? This whole charade started when I destroyed you after your fluke win during the title tournament. You were gone for a number of weeks until you stuck your nose in my business. You just had to jump in and try to save ol Raven from her ultimate destruction. I guess you had a change of heart last week when I made her tap. Just like I said I would all along I showcased Raven's faded skills and hopefully the pathetic public will forget her name and focus on the chosen ones like myself and the DDTKid."
Crusade: "However, this week it is your turn Chasm. I aim to prove that you never had any skills to begin with! At least Connoly can call herself a hasbeen. You Chasm, are a never was. No one knows your name and after tonight even less will bother to remember it. Tonight is the night Chasm is exposed for the foolish loser that he is. Once I finish him I shall move on to bigger and better thing! Perhaps DDTKid and I will attempt to take the tag team championships from the so called Excellence Inc."
Crusade: "I would prefer to get a rematch with C4 when he defeats Ray Kamaura tonight. Who knows? The only think you can rest assured of is that tonight, Chasm will be no more. Amen."
With that Crusade exits the ring without another word, dropping the mic on the way out of the big top.  ***WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PRESENTATION CONTAINS CONTENT THAT SOME VIEWERS MAY FIND OFFENSIVE***
An instrumental version of "Mad World" by Gary Jules is playing as a silhouette of a hangman is shown. The image switches to that a bathroom which zooms into a still woman's wrist covered with blood. It then switches to a half empty bottle of pills lying on a bedroom floor with an unknown person lying beside it. Finally it changes to the outside of a manor during a thunderstorm for a few seconds before a flash sends the viewers into the house. A long haired man is playing on the piano with his face away from the camera. There are 2 beautiful woman standing on each side of him facing the camera. One has raven hair and dressed entirely in black, the other has platinum hair and dressed entirely in white.
??: "What has this world come to? It is a place where men and women are condemned for being different instead of being praised for what makes them unique. Where a man who has failed to be accepted by society, goes down the road to his local hardware store to purchase a noose to end his grief and suffering."
The camera flashes back to the silhouette of the hanged man before returning to its previous state
??: "Where a woman's husband cheats on her with his younger secretary sending the woman to file for divorce which in these days are most crowded of legal departments. On the day of the divorce, the man will lie and have others lie for him, claiming that this woman is an unfit parent due to her previous history of drug abuse. She has been sober for 10 years, yet no one cares. She is loses this endless battle and is given nothing, not even a single day which her children. So she turns her back on her sobriety and spends the next few months in a dank and filth ridden motel room trading sexual favors for just a hit of that sweet nectar. One day she realises what he has done to her, how he has taken everything away from her, leaving her an empty shell of her former self. Does she seek help? No, What she does is walk into the bathroom, grabs a razor blade and slits her wrist. Only finding comfort in death's warm and everlastingly embrace."
The camera flashes to the bleeding wrist before cutting back to the man with the 2 women
??: "A young girl, aged 15, living in a suburbia, USA, goes to school like a normal girl trying to live her normal life. But is it oh so normal like everyone in this god forsaken world craves? No, of course not. This girl is tormented by everyone in the school, no one wants to be her friend. The Teachers don't see her as she sits beaten and bloodied in the back of the class room. Her parents are too concerned with being accept to the local country club and fitting in with their oh so beloved social circles negates to even remember their only daughters birthday. But they will remember this one which will haunt them for the rest of their miserable lives. As they come home, on their only daughters birthday, from their weekend away to some shit hole in california, there is not a present for her on in the living room, but a present for them. They find that "little miss no one cares" had took near a full bottle of sleeping pills and vodka which their parents kept in their room to help them slip off away from their falling marriage, realise the neglect they had shown their own daughter over the years and have nothing to say or do except weep."
The camera flashes to the empty bottle of pills on the floor before coming back to the man
??: "I am here to change everything that is wrong with this world, like the angels of death and retribution, is will reign down upon the world and show it for what it truly is, Uncaring, Self obsessed, and Unjust. I am coming to a little federation known as Lucha Libre Puroresu to make an example of the power i have."
The man stops playing, stands up and turns around revealing who he really is.
Shadow Callahan: "Who am I? I am Shadow Callahan! And am the shepherd of the condemned. I am your Suicide Messiah!"
Shadow lowers his head as lightning flashes and showing these words. "Shadow Callahan". Another flash and the words switch to this. "His Arrival is nearly upon us". The words fade to black before reappearing as this. "May god have mercy on us all". The screen finally fades to black | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Banzai Ultimo 07/22/2012 Wed Nov 25, 2015 7:35 am | |
|  VS  Chasm VS CrusadeJim Jackson: "Well two weeks ago Chasm challenged Crusade to a one on one match after Crusade's win on Raven Connoly... Could this be the conclusion of the feud between these two men?"
Mick Mooney: "This will be like an epic match, Chasm really has beef to settle with Crusade... Which dude will win? We'll find out tonight..."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first standing at 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighing in at 220 pounds, hailing from Ontario, London... CHASM!"
The lights fade drawing the crowd to a hush. The wolf howls as the wind whispered across the mountains. Chasm makes his way through the audience leaping over the barricade with a quick flourish to the crowd, Chasm slides into the ring.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, his opponent for the evening, standing at 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighing in at 220 pounds, hailing from the pearly gates... CRUSADE!"
A loud, eerie chanting begins to chime through the big house before The Beast (Evangelion 2.0 soundtrack) begins to play. After a moment Crusade shambles out onto the ring ramp, his matted hair nearly covering his face as he makes his way to the ring. The zealot is wearing a plain blue jean shorts along with wrestling boots, he is bare chested, showing off the tattoo of a cross on his chest. Once near the ring he rolls in, quickly making his way to the back end of the ring to await the start of the match.
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for the match is Jack B. Nimble! LET THE ACTION BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Crusade rushes in! Forearm to the face from Crusade on Chasm. Back suplex on Chasm. Flying elbow from Crusade, grazing the target slightly. Big dropkick by Crusade! Crusade is on a roll and he's not giving Chasm a chance to react. Crusade shoots for the legs... Scorpion deathlock locked in!"
Mick Mooney: "Ooh, that Chasm dude is actually like crawling to the ropes... Crusade tries to dig in his heels... Aww! Chasm makes it to the ropes and gets a rope break."
Jim Jackson: "Crusade goes for a headlock... Chasm fights out of the grapple. Irish whip sends Crusade to the ropes... Clothesline connects! Chasm leaps up into the air... Legdrop to the back of the head! Chasm picks Crusade up... Nice piledriver on Crusade. Chasm hooks the leg..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Mick Mooney: "Crusade kicks out at two... I wonder if that Raven chick is watching this match from her home tonight?"
Jim Jackson: "Crusade elbows Chasm in the face to break a hammerlock. Chasm got absolutely creamed by a KILLER back suplex. Chasm got folded in half with that one... Crusade goes for a rear naked choke hold... Chasm somehow manages to twist his head free! Chasm gets back up but eats a big knee from Crusade."
Mick Mooney: "Oh man, that probably loosened some of Chasm's front teeth..."
Jim Jackson: "Crusade goes high risk! Swan dive headbutt from Crusade! Right on target!"
Mick Mooney: "That must also hurt for Crusade... Seriously dude, why not a legdrop or a kneedrop instead? Crusade recovers enough for a cover..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Chasm's flame is still burning! Irish whip by Crusade sends Chasm to the ropes... Crusade misses a clothesline. Chasm comes back with a shoulder block! Chasm starts to connects with rights and lefts and Crusade is down! Crusade reverses a hip toss and gets the momentum back.... Crusade snap suplexes Chasm HARD to the canvas! Crusade is really turning up the heat. Chasm tries to get back up... Lariat by Crusade! Crusade goes for a backslide..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Mick Mooney: "Chasm gets out just before the three! Ooh! Crusade doesn't give Chasm a breather... That dude is on fire!"
Jim Jackson: "Crusade lifts his opponent into the air before dropping them down face first in a gordbuster, as he starts to get up, Crusade lunges forward, kneeing Chasm square in the temple, brutally executing the Damnation. Chasm goes down and I don't think he's getting up... Crusade for the cover..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall... CRUSADE!"
Mick Mooney: "Wait! It's "Darkside" Dylan Thompson! The DDTKid enters the ring with a bat! This won't end well..."
Jim Jackson: "Crusade holds Chasm in a full nelson... "DARKSIDE" DYLAN THOMPSON HITS CHASM WITH THE BAT! Chasm is busted open as he bleeds into the canvas! Crusade and The DDTKid runs off! Someone call in the EMTs!" The scene opens with Ray Kamaura, a monstrous mountain of a man standing in front of C4's Locker space.
Ray Kamaura: "Just as I thought. That coward is not here yet. Our Match is about an hour away and he isn't here. I was going to give him a chance to just give me the Title, because there will be no running away tonight, No cheap Tricks. Just two of the best wrestlers in the world, locking horns."
Ray Kamaura takes a dramatic pause before the rest of his speech.
Ray Kamaura: "Last month I physically destroyed Colton Charles Cai Cobb after he hit me over the head with the ring side bell. Now that tells us a few things that we must take into account. I was winning that match and he knew that I was closing in on FINALLY have a World Championship. The fact he hit me with the bell also tells me he is a coward. Instead of excepting his fate, he took the easy way out. Finally It tells me that even after taking such a trauma to my head i was still able to walk out of the Big Top. C4 didn't walk out, at least not of his own power. I broken that poor fool in half. Tonight I will do it again."
Ray Kamaura walks over to a broken down car and he lifts an end up and flips the car. A show of pure strength. The scene fades to black.LUCHA LIBRE PURORESU WORLD TITLE MATCH VS  Colton Charles Cai Cobb VS Ray KamauraJim Jackson: "The main event is something everyone is looking forward to... Ray Kamaura asked for this match and management gave it to him... A hell in a cell match for the LLP World Championship!"
Mick Mooney: "That's right, this match is going to be legendary! This time there'll be no escaping dude. Everything starts and ends inside the ring."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the main event of the evening, it is a hell in a cell match scheduled for one fall and is for the LLP World Championship! Introducing first standing in at 6 feet 6 inches tall and weighing in at 235 pounds, hailing from Boston, Massachusetts, he is the current and reigning LLP World Champion... COLTON CHARLES CAI COBB!"
Bond's "Explosive" starts blaring out of the speakers as the silhouette of the penultimate wrestler, covered in smoke and with a light show on, Colton Charles Cai Cobb is seen as the curtain rises with his back facing the crowd. He turns around with a smirk on his face and an air of arrogance as he makes his way to the ring ignoring the loud boos which echo the ringside. He enters the ring, flexes and stretches waiting for the match to begin.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next the challenger, standing in at 7 feet 1 inch tall and weighing in at 350 pounds, hailing from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania... RAY KAMAURA!"
"Sound Of Madness" by Shinedown starts to play as Ray Kamaura begins striding towards the ring. His seven foot frame towers over everything until he comes to the apron. Ray grabs the top rope and steps onto the ring then over the ropes into the ring. He swiftly moves to a turnbuckle and climbs it raises on arm into the air.
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Quick. LET THE ACTION BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "The steel structure is lowering down enclosing the ring... Both wrestlers look like they are ready to go... And there's the bell! Colton Charles Cai Cobb at once exits the ring and Ray Kamaura gives chase... Kamaura lunges in but misses C4! C4 dodges and throws Kamaura into the cage! BRAINBUSTAH~! C4 just nailed Kamaura into the steel floor outside the ring! That has got to leave a mark... C4 goes for the cover."
Jack B. Quick: "One! Two..."
Mick Mooney: "Dude, look at Kamaura's head... I think he's bleeding from the top due to that brainbuster... I'm amazed he still can move after that... This match is off to an awesome start..."
Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb lands a few punches before catching Ray Kamaura in a hammerlock... Ray Kamaura elbows Colton Charles Cai Cobb in the face to break the hammerlock. Kamaura lifts C4 up... He bounces C4 off the top rope... AND SUPLEXES HIM INTO THE STEEL CAGE!!! Kamaura goes for the cover!"
Jack B. Quick: "One! Two..."
Mick Mooney: "I thought that Kamaura dude was tough but dang... I can't believe C4 kicked out of that one... And now C4 is eating some heavy rights from Kamaura... Kamaura is mounted on C4 throwing heavy blows... Hmmm... That sounds kinky dude..."
Jim Jackson: "Ray Kamaura with a hammerfist... Colton Charles Cai Cobb catches his arm and counters it into an armbar! Kamaura tries to pull free..."
Mick Mooney: "WHOA! That Kamaura dude just lifted C4 off the ground with the armbar still locked in... HE SLAMS C4 into the steel floor!!! They should like seriously consider taking this match back into the ring dude..."
Jim Jackson: "I agree Mick... At this rate these two wrestlers may not have a career by the end of the match... Colton Charles Cai Cobb rolls through the bottom rope and into the ring... Ray Kamaura follows suit... C4 staggers to get up... Kamaura sends him back to the canvas with a neckbreaker! Bodyslam by Kamaura! The damage is piling up on C4's back... Kamaura goes for the cover..."
Jack B. Quick: "One! Two..."
Mick Mooney: "The champ manages to get a shoulder up... Kamaura misses a double axe handle from the second rope! Seems like C4 is still far from done dude..."
Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb with an Irish whip sends Ray Kamaura to the ropes... C4 runs close behind... Clothesline sends Kamaura over the top rope and he hits the steel ground outside! C4 with a slingshot leg drop... Kamaura rolls away and C4 hits nothing but steel! Kamaura drives C4 into the cage side. C4 is busted open! Both men are now bleeding!"
Mick Mooney: "Whoa! Kamaura lifts the champ up unto his shoulders... I think he's gonna slam C4 into the cage wall... This will be awesome!"
Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb grabs hold of the top rope and slips free from Ray Kamaura's grasp... C4 stumbles into the ring... Kamaura follows... C4 with a spinning backfist slams into the side of Kamaura's head! Irish whip sends Kamuara smashing into the corner... C4 charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Kamaura charges in... C4 goes low and takes his legs out with a low dropkick!"
Mick Mooney: "Man... The wear and tear is showing on both men... No one will come out of this match unscathed dude..."
Jim Jackson: "Ray Kamaura gets taken down out of nowhere! Vicious back suplex! Kamaura got nailed big time! Kamaura gets hit with SPLASH MOUNTAIN~! out of the corner! Colton Charles Cai Cobb snap suplexes Kamaura HARD to the canvas! And again! And again! Kamaura staggers to his feet... A pair of clothesline follows... The champ a roll... Colton Charles Cai Cobb grabs his opponent's waist and hoists his opponent up onto his shoulder in an overhead gutwrench backbreaker rack. He then sits down and simultaneously flips the opponent forwards and downwards, slamming his opponent down to the ground face-first to one side executing an explosive Ground Zero! C4 HITS HIS FINISHER!!! THIS IS IT!!! C4 goes for the cover..."
Jack B. Quick: "One! Two! Thre..."
Mick Mooney: "WHOA!!! KAMAURA GETS A SHOULDER UP!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! THE CROWD CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! C4 CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!"
Jim Jackson: "No one expected Kamaura to get out of that one... Colton Charles Cai Cobb drags Ray Kamaura and pushes him through the bottom rope to the outside... Looks like the champ wants to use the steel structure to deal more damage... C4 drives Kamaura into the cage side! Kamaura is now bleeding profusely... He staggers into C4 who lifts him up... Kamaura flips out of a C4 bodyslam attempt. Big right from out of nowhere smacks C4 right on the jaw!"
Mick Mooney: "That almost like took the champ's head off dude... Kamaura is holding on to the ropes using it to prop himself up... He is running close to empty now dude... Though the champ is also running on fumes now..."
Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb throws a right... Blocked by Ray Kamaura! Kamaura picks C4 up... Powerbomb into the steel floor outside the ring! Kamaura motions to the crowd... DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! RIGHT INTO THE UNFORGIVING STEEL!!! C4 is not moving at all... Kamaura goes for the cover..."
Jack B. Quick: "One! Two! Thr..."
Mick Mooney: "Whoa! Now it's Kamaura's turn to be shocked... The champ manages to get a shoulder up just at like the last nanosecond... DUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!!!"
Jim Jackson: "Ray Kamaura tries to grab the champ but Colton Charles Cai Cobb manages to evade and crawl back into the ring... Kamaura follows in... C4 tries a sneak attack but Kamaura sees it and sidesteps! Ray Kamaura kicks Colton Charles Cai Cobb in the gut causing Colton Charles Cai Cobb to double over, puts his right shoulder to the back of Colton Charles Cai Cobb's neck, grabs the back of their legs and quickly lifts them up. Ray holds the pose for a few seconds and then falls onto his butt, crushing Colton Charles Cai Cobb's neck on his shoulder.... IT'S THE END GAME!!! Kamaura for the cover!"
Jack B. Quick: "One! Two! Three!"
Mick Mooney: "WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! HE DID IT! HE DID IT!!!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall and NEW LLP WORLD CHAMPION... RAY KAMAURA!"
Jim Jackson: "In a brutal match, Ray Kamaura pins Colton Charles Cai Cobb and becomes the new LLP World Champion! What a surprising turn of events! Wait! C4 is up! HE SPEARS RAY KAMAURA AS HE'S ACCEPTING THE BELT! C4 DDTS KAMUARA RIGHT INTO HIS NEWLY WON CHAMPIONSHIP BELT! AND HE LOCKS IN THE RDX!!! C4 SNAPPED!!!"
Mick Mooney: "Dude! Kamaura just passed out! C4 releases him and leaves the ring... Looks like this saga between Kamaura and C4 is far from over..."Jim Jackson: "What a night! What a night... It looks like some feuds are beginning to heat up... In two weeks we shall see Excellence, Inc. defend their titles against Allister King and a partner of his choosing... We also saw a new world champion tonight here in LLP, unfortunately, Ray Kamaura was viciously attacked by the former champion as he was receiving his belt... What will the new champ do?"
Mick Mooney: "Don't forget Crusade's match tonight, he defeated Chasm and with that DDTDude put a beat-down on the veteran... That was uncool but kinda cool too in it's own way."
Jim Jackson: "Well I'm sure everyone is still abuzz with excitement on the events that transpired here tonight. Unfortunately we are out of time so, until next time, this is Jim Jackson saying good night and good fight!" | |
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