Subject: Lucha Loco 12/23/2010 Thu Dec 23, 2010 7:20 am
Jim Jackson: "Welcome wrestling fans to Lucha Loco, this will be the last Lucha Loco before the PPV HanuChrisKwanbo and boy do we have a show for you tonight."
Brad Blood: "That is right Jim, I myself cannot wait for our main event, a three-way tag team elimination challenge to decide who gets dibs on the ULOL Campeónes Compañero belts."
Jim Jackson: "I am certain that everyone wants to get things rolling so without further ado, LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
[b]The ULOL Tron suddenly comes to life as we see the face of Eunice P. Winslow the vice-general manager of ULOL on the big screen. The feisty grandmother fixes her silk scarf before addressing the audience.
Eunice P. Winslow: "Good evening everyone, I'm sure that everyone is surprised to see me after my long absence, but be assured that my battle with arthritis and rheumatism is still on-going, I am still alive and kicking."
A small chuckle emanate from the crowd.
Eunice P. Winslow: "I am here tonight to add a special stipulation to the 3-way tag team elimination match for the contenders of the ULOL Campeónes Compañero Title. A little twist to give the losing team a consolation."
Murmurs of anticipation for what the VGM of ULOL radiates from the crowd.
Eunice P. Winslow: "The team that gets eliminated shall have the option to choose what type of match the two teams contending for the title fight in for the pay-per-view! That's right, the stipulations shall be set by the losing team."
Gasp of surprise is heard from the audience.
Eunice P. Winslow: "Call this my little gift for the losing team so that at least you won't feel too bad about losing."
With that the VGM winks at the crowd and the ULOL Tron signs off.
Scene opens on a busy high street, the snow is falling lightly upon the local people who are braving the cold in order to get those last minute christmas gifts. Stallhollders try their best to raise their voices above each other. The camera cuts in and focuses onto one stall selling ULOL merchandise. A kid and his father walk up to the stall. The stallholder is a beautiful brunette with her long hair tied into a ponytail.
Kid: "Hey miss, can I have a British Hawk shirt please?"
Stallholder- "Aww, sorry babe, I'm all out of Hawk merchandise. Ever since he's won for the first time last week, everyone has been demanding merchandise. How about a Brostar shirt?"
The kid looks at the shirt in disgust.
Kid: "Eww no thanks, Brostar isn't as good as The British Hawk, no one is! Not even Jack Johnson!"
Stallholder: "Aww sorry kid. I can't help ya."
The camera cuts away from the stall and focuses on a hooded figure leaning against some railings, high above the high-street. It's The British Hawk. He is smiling and why shouldn't he be? He has regained his legendary ability, he is loved by the fans once again. But there is still something missing. Some-.
???: "Hey Connor."
The British Hawk turns around instantly to see Lady Bianca de Sade standing behind him. Before he could even speak, Lady B goes in for a kiss. TBH obliges and the two passionately kiss for what seems like forever. Eventually they stop and Lady B takes, TBH's hand and leads him out of view as the scene fades.
The Camera fades from black to show a group of Christmas carolers singing outside a house.
Group: "Oh, come, all ye faithful, Joyful and triumphant! Oh, come ye, oh, come ye to Bethlehem."
The Door of the house opens to show a drunk Allister King standing in only his underwear holding a bottle of jagermeister
Allister King: "Who are you? What are you doing at my house? How do you know who I am?"
Allister starts to freak out.
Allister King: "You will never catch me alive!!"
Allister runs and clotheslines all of the Christmas carolers.
Allister King: "My life is not a machine!"
Allister elbow drops a few of the Christmas carolers and leg drops the rest.
Allister King: "Never come here to steal my drink again!"
Allister lights a cigarette and kicks snow all over the people.
Allister King: "You sicken me! Going to people's houses and trying to provoke them through song! A pox on you!"
The Distant sound of sirens can be heard.
Allister King: "Oh crap its the cops!"
Allister steals one of the carolers clothes unfortunately for him he steals a womens clothes.
Allister King: "The perfect disguise! Now which way to run?"
Allister runs in circles a few times before deciding to run left but the police show up at that direction.
Allister King: "Uh Oh!!"
Allister runs up the roof of the car and proceeds to run closely followed by the police. The camera fades to black.
VS
Jim Jackson: "And opening the show tonight we actually have a rematch of sorts. When The British Hawk first faced Roe Kai, he was demolished utterly. Will this second meeting end up with the same results or will the newly invigorated TBH be able to pull out a victory?"
Brad Blood: "That birdbrain has no chance at all, no chance. Roe Kai is a MMA superstar. I predict that he'll ground The British Hawk permanently after this."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first Roe Kai!"
Roe Kai makes his way to the ring to little fanfare.
Jim Jackson: "Looks like the crowd is a little apprehensive to cheer for Kai, maybe they are rooting for the more charismatic TBH."
Brad Blood: "You don't need no charisma, charisma won't let you win fights."
Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Lady Bianca de Sade, The British Hawk!"
"Get Ready To Fly" by Grits starts to play over the arena. The fans start to cheer loudly as The British Hawk rises from beneath he stage via a lift underneath the stage. He is wearing his usual wrestling attire and with a black hooded jacket with the hood up. He walks off the lift and raises his arms up triggering stage pyros to go off. He walks down to the ramp and enters the ring. He climbs onto a turnbuckle and removes his hood and taunts to the fans who cheer loudly.
Jim Jackson: "A huge pop from the crowd. This new TBH looks like he can take over the world."
Brad Blood: "Don't get cocky just because you have a girlfriend."
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for tonight is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Kai charges in but The British Hawk intercepts him with a rolling kick! Spinning bulldog from the corner plants Kai to the canvas! TBH hooks the leg..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Tw..."
Brad Blood: "It'll take more than that to put Roe Kai away."
Jim Jackson: "Have to agree with you there Brad. Irish whip sends Roe Kai to the corner... TBH going for an avalanche... NO!!! He eats boot as Roe Kai gets his boot up! Armbar takedown from Roe Kai! Roe Kai tries to lock in the submission..."
Brad Blood: "That's it break his arm... NO!!! TBH actually reaches the ropes! Damn."
Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk walks right into a dropkick by Roe Kai! Kai goes for the leg... TBH narrowly escapes an ankle lock! Double arm suplex by Kai sends TBH to the mat! Roe Kai for the cover..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "The birdbrain kicks out! Damn! Roe Kai tries to lock in a sleeper hold... NO!!! Damn that bird is slippery..."
Jim Jackson: "Hard legsweep by Kai. TBH kicks Roe Kai in the gut to reverse the momentum. Sprinboard corkscrew splash by The British Hawk finds it's target! TBH hooks the leg..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Roe Kai manages to kick out. Whew! For a moment there I thought I wagered on the wrong perso... I mean for the moment there I thought it was over... It's not like I put a wager on Roe Kai..."
Jim Jackson: "Roe Kai gets back to his feet... Springboard dropkick from The British Hawk and the crowd goes wild! Hard back suplex on Kai. The British Hawk strikes Kai. Roe Kai pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Big dropkick by Roe Kai. Roe Kai with an Irish whip sends TBH to the turnbuckles! Neckbreaker by Roe Kai from the corner."
Brad Blood: "Whoa Kai almost twisted TBH's head from his shoulders... COOL!!! Kai for the cover!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk kicks out at two! He fights his way back up and lock hands with Roe Kai as they engage in a test of strength! TBH breaks free as Kai was pushing him back! TBH hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. TBH hits a massive spinning kick to the jaw. Hard back suplex on Kai. DDT by The British Hawk. Kai is down! The British Hawk for the pin..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Denied by Kai! The British Hawk can't believe that Kai kicked out of that one."
Jim Jackson: "Kai ducks a wild right hand. He lifts TBH up and drops him throat first into the top rope! TBH clutches his throat in pain! TBH gets floored with a brutal elbow to the jaw by Kai. Kai tries to lock in a figure four leg lock..."
Brad Blood: "No! TBH manages to get to the bottom rope! Damn those ropes."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Kai lifts TBH up... The British Hawk pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Super kick by The British Hawk."
Brad Blood: "Damn! Where did that birdbrain pull that out super kick out from? TBH hooks the leg..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."
Jim Jackson: "Roe Kai still manages to kick out! TBH tries a choke hold on Kai but Kai pushes out of the hold and starts retaliating... TBH takes a back suplex from Roe Kai. TBH counters a backdrop with a kick to the face. TBH hits a dropkick on Roe Kai. Roe Kai is stunned as TBH heads to the top rope."
Brad Blood: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
Jim Jackson: "Here it comes... The British Hawk jumps onto the turnbuckle and taunts to the fans. He leaps off the top rope performing a 450 degree somersault and splashing onto the opponent with a brutal 450 Splash!! Oh! that shook the ring! The British Hawk hooks the leg and starts counting with the referee..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall... The British Hawk!"
Brad Blood: "DAMN IT!!! MY 3K DOWN THE CRAPPER!"
Jim Jackson: "An impressive victory for The British Hawk, he is definitely on a roll now. Lady Bianca de Sade enters the ring and celebrates inside with The British Hawk. What a great way to kick things off."
Brad Blood: "DAMN IT!!! Looks like I'll be dumpster diving this week..."
The Morbidly Obese Man Admin
Posts : 2990 Join date : 2008-12-29 Age : 48
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Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 12/23/2010 Thu Dec 23, 2010 7:21 am
Stephanie is on camera near a door, somewhere in the backstage of the ULOL. Based on the number of wrestlers using this door, one can assume it is a staff only entrance. Stephanie seems to be waiting for someone, jumping up when the door opens only to settle back down when she realizes it isn't the person she is waiting for. As Alexander walks through the door, dressed in his usually stylish black designer tuxedo, she quickly stands up. She turns to follow Alexander, who ignored her as he walked past. Stephanie gives him a light tap on the shoulder to get his attention.
Stephanie Dawson: "Alexander, this Sunday is HanuChrisKwanbo. Could I get some questions about your match that night?"
Alexander sighs deeply before nodding his head.
Stephanie Dawson: "Excellent. First, I want to know what is your mindset going into this match?"
Alexander Conway: "My mindset? My mindset is that I don't want to be in the damn match! Hell, I don't even want to be in this federation, let alone the damn match!"
Stephanie Dawson: "If that's how you feel Alex, then why bother showing up at HanuChrisKwanbo? Why bother even showing up tonight?"
Alexander Conway: "Well Stephanie, you see, there is this thing called a "contract". Now, these "contracts" have certain rules and conditions that you have to follow. One of mine means that I can't leave this federation for a certain period of time. If I'm going to be here anyway, I might as well use it to prove that I am every bit as good as I say I am....and I kind of have a rather lavish and expensive life style, you follow me?"
Stephanie looks a little annoyed at how Alexander just patronized her.
Stephanie Dawson: "You say you might as well prove you are "as good as you say you are", but your wins are questionable at best. The first week here you won by stealing the pin after Hunter did the work. Your second match was won after a distraction by Q. You defeated Ray Kamaura by using an exposed turnbuckle. And last week you defeated Lucian by interference from Bloodflame."
Alexander Conway: "What? You're going to fault me because I can actually use my brain? I'm sorry those sad dolts couldn't keep up with me."
Stephanie Dawson: "I hardly think that is the case. Out of all of them, Lucian thinks you are the most overrated. I think many of the fans would agree with him."
Alexander shrugs, a lack of care etched onto his face.
Alexander Conway: "So some fans are angry at me, that's nothing new. Anyway, Lucian has no foundation for his claims. Was he under the influence of drugs when he said that? Maybe drunk like Allister King? If you look at the match, I was in firm control before Bloodflame came along."
Stephanie Dawson: "Way to put aside a valid argument. Anything can happen in the ring."
Alexander Conway: "Valid? Nothing is valid according to Marcus Troy. But let's not dwell on that. At the PPV, I face Q and Gonzales in a triple threat ladder match. But-"
Stephanie suddenly pulls the microphone away from Alexander.
Stephanie Conway: "I'm sorry Alex, but I've just received word that Q is heading to his locker room!"
Stephanie hurries off the camera.
Alexander Conway: "What about my interview? Damn it, what does he have that I don't!"
Cameraman: "Maybe the fact that he wears a mask?"
The words "Piss off" can be heard as the scene fades to black.
She checks herself again, hoping that nothing is out of place. That means no hidden wrinkle on her clothes, no smudged makeup, and no hair arranged the wrong way. She breathes into her open palm, satisfied that it's still Listerine fresh.
She gives the signal, and turns on the mic.
Stephanie Dawson: "I'm here with one of the three men who has made it to the finals of the Ligero Maximo tournament. He is none other than the masked maven of the wrestling world, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing."
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing appears beside Stephanie Dawson. She tries hard not to tremble in anxious excitement over the fact that she is finally getting to interview a living legend.
Stephanie Dawson: "How are you feeling? Have the doctors given you clearance to get back in the ring?"
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "They have! I am in fighting condition again! But I must take this moment to again thank my lovely legions of lusciously lascivious fans! They were so worried for me after I was viciously and brutally assaulted by that buttocked friend of Nao Fook Mi! But despite his cowardly attack, I stand before you and the whole world today, ready to fight for the Ligero Maximo title!"
Stephanie Dawson: "What are your thought about the other two men you'll be wrestling against for the Ligero Maximo?"
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I am ready for the title match! I will admit, I was unprepared for that buttocked friend of Nao Fook Mi! But what did not cripple me only made me grow stronger! My resolve to come back after last week's horrible attack is the same resolve that drives me after fighting through the feces-filled blight that is HIS DARKNESS! Complete with unshaved anus hair!"
Stephanie tries hard not to gag in response to the altogether graphic description provided by Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It is true! This is the reason why Sr. Gonzales' mining machine failed him! Because it got tangled up in the thick, curly and feces-coated hairs of HIS DARKNESS! And the strain of thrusting into a hole so wide and deep was probably such a strain for a man of his age! It is only natural that such deep penetration would take too much juice out of someone as elderly as he!"
Stephanie Dawson stares at Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing blankly, before quickly snapping out of it.
Stephanie Dawson: "Sr. Gonzales is one of the men you will be fighting for the Ligero Maximo title. There's also A--"
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "And it is a fight I look forward to facing! I realize Sr. Gonzales just wants to be treated like his age is not a handicap to his ability to compete, even if he has to wear diapers till the day he leaves this mortal world! This is the observation I have made in my matches with some of the most dangerous elderly wrestlers to ever set foot in the ring! Like Toothless Joe! Poor and Angry Szatkowski! And T.O.T., That Old Trannie! I will give Sr. Gonzales the same healthy respect I give to all my opponents! I look forward to our championship match!"
Stephanie Dawson: "There's also another competi--"
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I am afraid that is all the time I can spare for now! Thank you so much!"
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing shakes Stephanie's hand, before quickly heading off to his next appointment. She tries calling after him, but he is already out of earshot.
Stephanie Dawson: "Wait. What about Alexander Conway?"
Stephanie sighs as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing disappears from view.
Brostar is in his locker room with Brandon Cavo and speaks.
Brostar: "Ok Cavo your first official match as part of the Stank Gang is to face Nao Fook Mi choice of opponent and you must win. If you win I get to choose the stipulation and who knows you might receive a bonus."
Brandon Cavo: "Ok I will do it don't worry I will win and the bonus. By the way what is the bonus?"
Brostar: "That's for me to know and for you to find out. Oh and if you lose make sure you have a gas mask ready."
With that said Cavo and Brostar leave the locker room for the match.
~The camera fades away~
In the dimly lit parking lot a figure is seen pacing back and forth. As the camera pans closer we see the oriental beauty Nao Fook Mi checking her watch. There is only a few minutes left before the match wherein she must send a representative to fight Brostar's representative. Finally Fook Mi takes out her cellphone and dials a number.
Nao Fook Mi: "Where are you? It's almost time for the match. We'll forfeit if you don't make it in time. Don't tell me I was wrong to put my faith in you."
A voice suddenly replies from the shadows.
?: "Hold your horses Fook Mi, you know I won't leave you hanging out to dry. I'm here."
Fook Mi turns around to see a small figure step forward holding a cellphone to his ear, his face still hidden in the shadows. Fook Mi smiles and sighs in relief.
Nao Fook Mi: "Well it's good to see you again. C'mon it's almost time for your match. You better win this you hear?"
Fook Mi and the stranger enters the building as the scene fades to black.
VS
Jim Jackson: "The upcoming match came about an agreement between Brostar and Nao Fook Mi, each wrestler will send it their own representative to battle, the wrestler whose representative wins have the power to select the stipulation and match type for the PPV. Any interference shall be considered as an automatic loss."
Brad Blood: "Well we know that newly recruited Brandon Cavo shall be representing Brostar but who will be representing Nao Fook Mi?"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! The winner of the match shall give their sponsor the power to select the stipulations in the upcoming pay-per-view! Introducing first representing Brostar, here's Brandon Cavo!"
"VIP Ballin" plays as Brandon Cavo walks down the entrance ramp and enters the ring to little fanfare.
Jim Jackson: "Here comes Cavo, it's ironic the man Nao Fook Mi tried to save now will be used against her."
Brad Blood: "Well who knows, maybe Brandon Cavo also has this fetish for foul odors?"
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, representing Nao Fook Mi, Little Wang!"
"Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor starts playing on the speakers as flashing multicolored lights starts flashing at the top of the entrance ramp as smoke rises from the floor. A small form suddenly bounces out of the entrance tunnel and through the smoke which is slowly clearing. The crowd looks wide-eyed at the small midget standing on top of the entrance ramp with both arms in the air waving a victory sign with his fingers. The midget runs down the ramp and scampers into the ring.
Brad Blood: "HOLY CRAP!!! IT'S A MIDGET!!! IT'S A MIDGET!!! WAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Jim Jackson: "Well size can be deceiving. Besides don't you always use the "It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it" excuse on the girls you date?"
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "There's the bell and Little Wang scampers around the ring as Brandon Cavo seem to cannot get a proper hold on Little Wang."
Brad Blood: "He's a slippery little bugger ain't he?"
Jim Jackson: "Cavo gives up trying to grab Little Wang and hits a dropkick instead!"
Brad Blood: "WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wang just flew to the other side of the ring with that dropkick! WAHAHAHAHA!"
Jim Jackson: "Cavo is holds Little Wang down and continuously beats him. His fists going up down up down. Little Wang is convulsing from the pain!"
Brad Blood: "Cavo is being exceptionally ruthless towards Little Wang. He leaps up high in the air and dives into Little Wang with such force! I think Little Wang may be broken!"
Jim Jackson: "Cavo is choking Little Wang going for a quick finish..."
Brad Blood: "Little Wang slips out of Cavo's grasp!"
Jim Jackson: "Little Wang bites into Cavo! Cavo tries to shake Little Wang loose but is unsuccessful! Brandon Cavo tries to wrap his fingers around Little Wang... Little Wang slips free again!"
Brad Blood: "Little Wang is bouncing up and down on the ropes waving and taunting at Cavo!"
Jim Jackson: "Cavo lunges at Little Wang with both hands but he just can't get a firm grip on Little Wang!"
Brad Blood: "Man, and I thought that Cavo would have eaten Little Wang for breakfast, but it looks like Little Wang is more than a mouthful for Cavo!"
Jim Jackson: "Little Wang goes high and flies... Right into Cavo's face! Little Wang is stuck into Cavo's face! Cavo tries to rip Little Wang off his face to little success!"
Brad Blood: "Little Wang is raping Cavo's face! EWWWWWWWWWW!"
Jim Jackson: "Cavo finally manages to get Little Wang off his face and now has Little Wang trapped between his legs! Will we see a submission? Little Wang is slowly getting crushed between Cavo's mighty thighs."
Brad Blood: "LITTLE WANG WENT STIFF BEFORE GOING LIMP!!! The referee checks if there is still life in Little Wang... Wait! Little Wang is still in the game and is wiggling about between Cavo's legs!"
Jim Jackson: "Little Wang spits at Cavo's eyes! Cavo gets distracted and Little Wang gets free!"
Brad Blood: "That's what you get for staring too closely at Little Wang."
Jim Jackson: "Little Wang jumps out of Cavo's hands... Cavo kicks Little Wang where the sun don't shine! Little Wang is twitching like an epileptic seizure! Cavo again beats Little Wang right on the head! Cavo is manhandling Little Wang! The opponent is groggy as Brandon Cavo jumps up a big and grabs Little Wang's head and bring him down with great force executing a Paydirt! Cavo for the pin."
Brad Blood: "Looks like Cavo wins this struggle with Little Wang."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, Brandon Cavo! "
Jim Jackson: "With that win Brostar shall decide the stipulation for his match with Nao Fook Mi in the PPV."
Brad Blood: "Poor Nao Fook Mi, she gets the short end of the stick because Little Wang failed to rise to the occasion."
The Morbidly Obese Man Admin
Posts : 2990 Join date : 2008-12-29 Age : 48
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Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 12/23/2010 Thu Dec 23, 2010 7:21 am
The camera zooms from black to show a busy mall with kids lining up to see santa. The kids look exciting due to they do not know what is about to happen that will ruin their christmas.
Kid: "Mommy we're next!!"
Mommy: "Yes we are. You excited to see Santa?"
Kid: "Yeah I know what I'm going to ask him for!"
Mommy: "Just hope he has time to get you it."
The sounds of kids crying is heard as the line begins to divide.
??: "Out of my way! Where is that fat bastard!! I'm going to rip his jolly fucking heart out!!"
Allister king charges through the crowd and looks pretty angry...... and also drunk.
Allister King: "Move out of the way kid!"
The kid starts to cry as his father comes.
Father: "What the hell you doing?"
Allister runs in and headbutts the kids father and pummels him. He gets up, Sparta kicks the kid and clotheslines his mother.
Allister King: "Where is good ol' Saint Dick?"
Allister eyes light up with rage as he sees where Santa is. He takes out every elf that is there and enters Santa's grotto.
Allister King: "There you are you son of a bitch!"
Santa: "Ho Ho Ho what is the meaning of this?"
Allister takes a swig of his flask before talking.
Allister King: "When I was 7 you got me a bottle of Jack Daniels for Christmas. You are the reason I'm an alcoholic, not all the years of sexual abuse from my father but you!!!"
Santa looks scared as a puddle of yellow liquid comes from his trousers.
Allister King: "Now get the hell up Santa! I'm going to finish this!"
Allister runs in and punches Santa and continues to pummel Santa until he bleeds
Allister King: "Now say you're sorry!"
Santa doesn't speak as he is knocked out.
Allister King: "Fine."
Allister kicks Santa in the head and is about to walk away but he slips on the yellow liquid and hits his head of the chair. Dazed he pulls himself up and runs as fast as possible through the crowd, ramming everyone in his way down. He jumps out the window as people stand in shock. Well those that can stand anyway. Medics attend to Santa as the camera runs to the window to see a trail of blood leading out the alley as the camera fades to black.
Gonzalez is training in his private gym, in his big house, somewhere.
Servant: There's a man who wants to speak with you, sir. He says his name is Casanueva.
Gonzalez looks at his servant with doubtful eyes.
Sr. Gonzalez: "Casanueva? Would it be, Pedro Casanueva?"
Servant: Yes, that's him, sir.
Sr. Gonzalez: "Alright, let him in."
The servant leaves, and soon comes a man, around 50 years old. He smiles as he sees Gonzalez.
Pedro Casanueva: "Benjamin! It's been a while! Who would have thought someone like you would have become a wrestler?"
Gonzalez doesn't seem to be as happy as Casanueva about this meeting.
Sr. Gonzalez: "Yeah, yeah, nobody did. What do you want?"
Pedro Casanueva: "Hey, hey! Why are you like that? Can't you just get randomly visited by an old friend?"
Gonzalez is getting pretty mad.
Sr. Gonzalez: "We never were friends, and we aren't gonna be now. What do you want?!"
Pedro Casanueva: "Look, I only want to help you. I do know about wrestling. I'm not saying that you don't! But you must admit I do have experience, and I can help you, you know? So the world will know what Chile can do. Just let me give you a few tips."
Gonzalez sighs.
Sr. Gonzalez: "So? Give me the tips?"
The camera fades to black.
Storming into the the GM's office, the leviathan of a wrestler also known as The Morbidly Obese Man walks right up to Marcus Troy's table. Slamming both palms down on the heavy oak desk he stares right into the smug look on the face of the general manager of ULOL.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Taking away the buffet table? You're just out to make my life miserable ain't you Troy? Is that all you've got? Is that your little revenge on me? Tsk..."
It is clear that the general manager Marcus Troy has been waiting for The Morbidly Obese Man to come in. He calmly just lights a cigar and blows smoke towards the big wrestler's face.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "So what you will be trying to make my stay here in ULOL miserable now? This is your payback for the blackmail thing? Well you won't break me Troy. You want to play it rough, well I'll play rough with you. Even if you fire me, I'll be the thorn on your side."
The Morbidly Obese Man breathes down heavily unto Marcus Troy's face.
Marcus Troy merely smiles sarcastically at The Morbidly Obese Man, his relaxed frame leans back into his leather bound seat as he casually continues to smoke his cigar.
Marcus Troy: "Fire you? You got me wrong old boy, there's no way I will fire you, specially since you are bound to me in your contract. I am not done paying you back yet."
Marcus Troy chuckles softly.
Marcus Troy: "You see you thought you could get one over me with your little blackmail stunt, but no one who ever screws with me ever gets away unscathed. No, I won't fire you, in fact I will use you, I will make sure you earn me enough money until you are nothing but a broken down has-been. You are already up in arms about the buffet table, well you've seen nothing yet. You've seen nothing yet."
Marcus Troy starts laughing loudly as The Morbidly Obese Man can only clench his fist in frustration as the scene fades to black.
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Pigs squealing is heard as the fans go absolutely crazy as Puu "The Pig Farmer" walks out slowly
Puu "The Pig Farmer": "Howdee! Eye'm back!!!!"
The crowd erupts in cheers.
Puu "The Pig Farmer": "An' Eye'm back in my 'ome of ULOL!!!! Goo' ta see ya'll!"
The crowd chants "Puu!"
Puu "The Pig Farmer": "An' Eye'm hare ta stay! eye am gunna winna me some matches!"
Puu raises his arm high and the whole crowd seems to gag, the whole first three rows are knocked out by the horrid smell.
Puu "The Pig Farmer": "Oooopsies! Eye'm vary sorree! I betta go now!"
Puu runs off pulling his overalls up as he runs.
"Faith Love Hope" by Starsailor blasts through the arena speakers as the arena fills with smoke. Red spotlights scatter around the arena and follow a Lucian Blackheart. He raises his arms and slowly spins. He grabs a mic off to his mouth as he ponders the stage.
Lucian Blackheart: "Last week.. I got screwed out of what would've been an easy victory, but nobody screws over Lucian and leaves the arena untouched, as I displayed last week."
A devilish smirk appears on Lucian's face as he ponders around the ring with his chin up in the air.
Lucian Blackheart: "Bloodflame, next week all your cowardly methods will end. I'm challenging you to a Grievous Gifts on a pole match. A pole on each turnbuckle. A gift wrapped on top of it. Two contenders. One will leave the ring, the other most likely in a body bag."
Lucian jumps up on a turnbuckle and sits there looking towards the stage area.
Lucian Blackheart: "This will be a hardcore match. All weapons will be classed as illegal, except for the four gifts on the poles. The person who takes the gift down the pole will be the only person allowed to use it. The match will end by pinfall or submission."
Lucian rises up standing on the top of the turnbuckle with his arms up in the air, eyes closed, head raised. He then draws the microphone back to his mouth, lowering his head and opening his eyes.
Lucian Blackheart: "After I beat you, assuming you do have the balls to stand toe to toe with me in an official match instead of having to attack me during one of my matches, it will be my last confrontation with you. Because after I do beat you, I will have nothing left to prove, just like you'll have a lot less fans. Let me know you're answer once you stop shaking in your boots, you punk!"
Lucian Blackheart jumps off the top turnbuckle right on to the floor landing on his feet. He makes his way up the ramp as he heads backstage.
VS
Jim Jackson: "And tonight we have fan favorite Allister King going against ULOL mainstay Hillbilly Phil. Who will come up on top tonight?"
Brad Blood: "Well both men are seasoned wrestlers so it will be hard to call this match Jim but since King shares free booze with everyone and Phil's moonshine tastes like kerosene I'm going with King."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first Allister King!"
A Coyote Howl is heard throughout the arena as the entrance is covered in smoke. Godsmack's Whiskey Hangover begins to play as Allister king walks out onto the entrance ramp with a cigarette in his mouth and a bottle of whiskey in his hand. Allister Falls a few times on his way to ring and sits on the ring apron while he finishes his cigarette and bottle of whiskey. He falls of the ring apron and hits his head of the ground which somehow seems to sobers him up enough for him to enter the ring. He gets in the ring and sits in the corner.
Jim Jackson: "Well it seems like Allister King again is dead drunk, yet based on his past performances you really cannot predict the outcome of his matches."
Jasmine Lee: "And introducing his opponent for the evening, Hillbilly Phil!"
A loud Yee-Haw blares over the speakers as bluegrass music plays over the sound system, Hillbilly Phil makes his way to the ring carrying with him a jug which he shares with the crowd.
Jim Jackson: "And here comes Hillbilly Phil with his home brewed moonshine. It looks like he's as smashed as King is."
Brad Blood: "Ooh, I see a barf-fest coming..."
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for the match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Both men charge at each other and... And they are singing the Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen?!"
Brad Blood: "You got to admit they can hold a note."
Jim Jackson: "This is not even a wrestling match!"
Allister King and Hillbilly Phil: "Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy (Poor boy) I need no sympathy Because I'm easy come, easy go Little high, little low Any way the wind blows Doesn't really matter to me, to me"
Brad Blood: "Whoa they're good at a capella."
Allister King and Hillbilly Phil: "Mama just killed a man Put a gun against his head Pulled my trigger, now he's dead Mama, life has just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Mama, ooh Didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters"
Jim Jackson: "Oh great now even the referee joined in!"
Allister King, Hillbilly Phil and Jack B. Nimble: "Too late, my time has come Sends shivers down my spine Body's aching all the time Goodbye, everybody I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth Mama, oooooooh (Anyway the wind blows) I don't want to die Sometimes wish I'd never been born at all"
Brad Blood: "Whoa! AIR GUITAR ON THE GUITAR SOLO!"
Allister King, Hillbilly Phil and Jack B. Nimble: "I see a little silhouetto of a man Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me (Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo Figaro Magnifico-o-o-o-o I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me He's just a poor boy from a poor family Spare him his life from this monstrosity"
Jim Jackson: "Now even the crowd is joining in. Sigh!"
Allister King, Hillbilly Phil, Jack B. Nimble and the crowd: "Easy come, easy go, will you let me go? Bismillah! No, we will not let you go Let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go Let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go Let me go (Will not let you go) Let me go (Will not let you go) (Never, never, never, never) Let me go, o, o, o, o No, no, no, no, no, no, no (Oh mama mia, mama mia) Mama Mia, let me go Beelzebub has the devil put aside for me, for me, for me!
So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye So you think you can love me and leave me to die Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here"
Brad Blood: "Here it comes, another air guitar solo. Everybody is doing the air guitar!"
Allister King, Hillbilly Phil, Jack B. Nimble and the crowd: "(Oooh yeah, Oooh yeah)
Nothing really matters Anyone can see Nothing really matters Nothing really matters to me
Any way the wind blows..."
Jim Jackson: "Thank God it's over... Maybe we can finally get on with the match!"
Allister King and Hillbilly Phil: "HUAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!!!"
Brad Blood: "Ooh, synchronized hurling... NICE! Hillbilly Phil passes out! Allister King passes out on top of Hillbilly Phil! The ref goes down to count!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Jim Jackson facepalms.
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, Allister King!"
Jim Jackson: "I'm not paid enough for this...!"
The Morbidly Obese Man Admin
Posts : 2990 Join date : 2008-12-29 Age : 48
Wrestler Sheet Wrestler Statistics:
Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 12/23/2010 Thu Dec 23, 2010 7:22 am
The state of the locker room represented the wrath and frustration in the mind of "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson. Not a single locker stood in it's original form, all that was left was a pile of twisted metal ready for the scrapheap. The humongous wrestler also known as The Morbidly Obese Man chuckles lightly as he sees his pseudo-partner slumped against the wall.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "You calmed down yet Johnson? Just like you to throw a tantrum once things don't go your way. What are you FIVE?! So you didn't get the title shot, big deal, go after it again. I just hope you won't blow our chance at the tag titles tonight."
The Morbidly Obese Man walks towards Johnson who is still silently brooding sitting against the wall.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "You hearing me Johnson? We still have a match tonight and even though I know I can do it alone, I'd prefer to have you watch my back. Don't tell me you'll just be dead weight tonight."
The Morbidly Obese Man folds his arms over his chest waiting for his partner "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson to reply.
UJJ stares at TMOM with cold fixed eyes. His plaster from the tranquilizer hangs off his neck like a loose woman. UJJ rips it off without any hesitation and without any wince of pain.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I was so close Lard Ass. That close to winning that match and winning the championship. But close didn't cut it."
UJJ gives a small laugh.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "You know what the worst part about this is? I lost to 2 people I SHOULD have beat. I SHOULD have beat them TMOM!!"
UJJ stands up face to face with TMOM.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Oh I'll be there in the match. But everyone inside that ring should hope that security carry another tranquilizer gun. 'Cos I'm sure as he'll that I won't stop until I'm the last man standing."
The Morbidly Obese Man starts laughing maniacally.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Now that's what I wanted to hear. I am sure that both of us will not only dominate but will destroy both teams. GoodFella and Schwarz and the Stank Duo will not know what hit them. That fool of a general manager, Marcus Troy practically just handed the tag team titles to us in a silver platter."
The Morbidly Obese Man couldn't stop chuckling as a huge grin appears on his face.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Once we have those tag titles in our hands new doors shall open before us Johnson. We will show ULOL what real champs are, even Shogun nor whoever who wins the Ligero Maximo title won't be able to do anything to stop us."
UJJ looks dead straight in anger.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Shogun, the Primo Ultimo Champion. Once we win on the PPV. I am going for the Primo Ultimo Championship. I am the most deserving of the title. That is my goal, that is the reason I am here in ULOL."
UJJ let's out a small hiss of anger. Focusing his sight on his monstrous tag team partner. UJJ exits out of the door as the scene fades.
"Asylum" by Disturbed starts to play as the entrance way explodes with fire. Bloodflame walks through the fire and makes his way to the ring laughing and shaking his head. He grabs a mic, glancing out at the crowd for a moment before speaking.
Bloodflame: "So that was your 'revenge' last week, Lucian? *sigh* Last week was a test of just how smart you are, numb nuts. And, like I expected, you failed with flying colors. Had you let it be and allowed me to win and go on to get the world title, you might very well have gotten a shot at it, and in some sneaky underhanded way you might have beaten me for it. But, as usual, your ego got in the way. Hell, that fat bastard in the back looks like a dwarf compared to that ego of yours."
Bloodflame chuckles for a moment before he continues.
Bloodflame: "As for your little challenge? Under one condition, and you can take it, or we can wait to see what the boss comes up with. Because unlike you, I have nothing to prove. The condition is this: The outside of the ring, from the edge of the ring to the crowd barrier, filled with row upon row of barbed wire. Even to the edge of the entrance ramp. I'm sure a way can be figured out to get us in the ring. You can accept that, or not. Can't say I care, either way. And you're right, this will be our last match. Because I intend to finish what you started."
Bloodflame drops the mic and leaves the ring.
A man is standing in the locker room area it looks like he is waiting for something, but after several seconds camera zoom in his face and we recognize that he's none other than Felix Schwarz who looks very confused. He comes near the door of the locker room of The Entourage. He knocks on the door for several times. He steps back as he waits for doors to be opened. GoodFella opens the door and sees that it's his not very loved tag team partner Felix Schwarz. He shows him that he can come in. Arnold closes the door and starts to speak.
Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "You know what? I know that our chances at this match is more than likely zero. Why? Cause I have the feeling all the week that something will happen and I mean that you gonna screw me up. I had this feeling then we faced The Fatman and his crying boyfriend, but then you didn’t screw me. I've been screwed before by people close to me and I don't like it. Maybe you will screw me, maybe not, I don’t care. If you have any thought of messing with me in your mind, I can say that you are a dead man. You got that little man?"
Felix doesn’t looks like he's scared nor intimidated, maybe a little annoyed at most but he replies.
Felix Schwarz: "What makes you think that I am going to screw you? Well even more I’m about to capture my first title and you think that I’m going to screw you? Well I recognized that you are little more paranoid than ever. Blaming me for disappearance of Taufik and now your conspiracy theory. Well that just means that your mental health is damaged. What’s next maybe you will say that Taufik was kidnapped by aliens for a research? Well you know what I was thinking why do you really hate me? Cause I didn’t do anything to you?"
Arnold looks into the eyes of Felix very clearly. Well, he has a lot of doubts in his mindset but he agrees with Schwarz that he doesn’t have to lose anything in this match.
Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Well I have several things on my mind that makes me think that you will screw me cause you don’t look like a person who should be trusted. I don’t know why maybe your hair or your style of clothing. I can admit that since Taufik gone missing I changed, I became paranoid like you say, maybe a bit. Taufik has been a good companion to me. He has gone missing, that’s why I believe that he is somewhere locked up with cuffs and can’t runaway. You know this feeling is killing me."
GoodFella realizes he's talking too much...
Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "But why I talking to you about these things? It's not like you'd understand what I am feeling."
Felix Schwarz: "You know what? I totally understand how you feel cause my wife was killed. She entered a shop at the time it was being robbed and robbers thought that she was cop and killed her. I am praying every night for her soul. So I know what you feeling right now. No don’t get me wrong I don’t say that Taufik is dead right now or anything. If you don’t trust me, then don’t trust me but I’m cool with you. But now I have to go and attend several things before our match."
The sound of someone approaching catches their attention. They find Manolo Ferrer walking towards them. The manager has a stern look on his face as he eyes GoodFella and Felix Schwarz.
Manolo Ferrer: "I overheard a rather informative conversation between two of our friends who we will be facing in this contenders' match. They're so sure that they are head and shoulders above everyone else, they're going to win it all. Which is very funny, since I don't see them holding any gold right now."
Mr. Ferrer's voice is even and neutral, even if there's something in his expression that suggests a slow boil building.
Manolo Ferrer: "It looks like you will have another opportunity to be of assistance to us, Mr. Schwarz."
He notes Felix Schwarz' reaction, before quickly addressing his client.
Manolo Ferrer: "We did what we could last time we competed against them. But this time, we have to do more than just put up with two loudmouths who have won nothing. Mr. Bold, for whatever reason, the administrators of this company don't think you have what it takes to challenge for the Primo Ultimo or Ligero Maximo titles, even though you've proven you can get things done. They are not showing you the respect you deserve. It is time you take what you deserve. You are no one's whipping boy. Certainly not the whipping boy for a team whose combined initials sound like a cat hacking up a hairball."
There is a glint in Mr. Ferrer's eye as he gives an assuring nod to Felix Schwarz and Arnold Bold.
Manolo Ferrer: "Take what is yours, gentlemen."
A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals blasts though the arena speakers ans the lights begin to flash on and off. As the lyrics begin Shogun bursts from behind the curtains with fire erupting from the ramp beside him, his Primo Ultimo championship around his waist. Shogun begins to make his way to the ring with a broad smile on his face his eyes still show the hatred for the people in the arena and the pure intensity can still be seen in Shoguns body language as he walks down the ramp. As he makes it to the ring he runs up and rolls into the ring taking the title off his waist and hoisting it into the air with one arm before putting it over one shoulder. Shogun picks up a mic from a ring attendant and begins to speak.
Shogun: "So a contender has been chosen at last! Ray Kamaura you got the show you wanted and now you will be able to test yourself against the best in the world!"
Shogun waits for the crowd to finish cheering before he speaks again.
Shogun: "I wouldn't not get to excited if I were you people...I will not be losing my championship at the PPV. Whether it was Ray or Johnson or Bloodflame the results will always be the same I will some out of the match with this belt over my shoulder EVER SINGLE TIME! No man has what it takes to take this title out of my hands."
The crowd boos loudly.
Shogun: "There's no one alive who has what it takes to beat me NO ONE! I will prove it to you fools one way or another that I am the best wrestler on the face of the earth and if you do not accept it you will just have to be the next sacrifice..."
Shogun: "Ray Kamaura! I respect your skills and I know you will give me a challenge but you simply are not good enough to beat me! At the PPV we will find out if I am correct or just talking to talk but trust me when I say you will find that I am the best wrestler in the world and you are not..."
Shogun lowers the mic as music begins to play in the arena.
"Life is Beautiful" by Sixx AM blares throughout the arena and when the lyrics start to play Ray Kamaura makes his way to the ring very slowly.
Ray moves to the middle of the ring and raises the mic to his mouth.
Ray Kamaura: "Hello Shogun. I would like to wish you luck. But I'm walking out of the PPV with that belt. It's gonna take you a lot more than your "darkness" to stop me."
Ray lowers his mic and waits.
Shogun cracks a rare smile.
Shogun: "I like your style I really do...but its going to take a lot more than that to beat me."
Shogun steps forward and gets in Kamaura's face.
Shogun: "I take nothing away from your skills in the ring I am just telling you that I think I am better...I hope that together we can put on the greatest match that the fans have ever seen but in the end I will come out on top and I will leave ULOLs first PPV STILL...the Primo Ultimo champion!"
Shogun raises the championship into the air in front of Kamaura.
Shogun: "And to the people... Whether you like me or you hate me you still watch my matches and you still chant something at me so I know you watch every week just to see what happens when the Demonic God gets into the ring!"
Shogun: "No matter what happens I will never let this belt go but I still hope you give me a challenge Ray...good luck at the PPV."
Shogun drops the mic steps back and holds out his hand for Ray to shake.
Ray Kamaura: "Good luck."
Ray reaches out for Shogun's hand to shake it. The crowd starts to cheer as Ray's Music starts to play.
&
VS
&
VS
&
Jim Jackson: "And here's what everyone has been waiting for, the main event of the evening, three teams enter but only two shall advance to battle for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero title."
Brad Blood: "That's right if a team gets both members eliminated, they lose their chance to win the ULOL tag titles. But wait! They may still get the last laugh as they get to decide on the stipulations of the match between the winning teams."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the main event of the evening, the following contest is a three-way tag team elimination challenge. The two teams left standing shall advance to battle to become the ULOL Campeónes Compañero! Introducing first, the team of Arnold "GoodFella" Bold and Felix Schwarz, GoodFella and Schwarz!"
"Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again and Arnold "GoodFella" Bold is standing in the middle of the ring pointing to the sky, beside him is his partner Felix Schwarz.
Jim Jackson: "As The Entourage, GoodFella had a high chance of winning this match with Taufik, but with Schwarz his chances may just be halved."
Brad Blood: "You got that right, Taufik may act gay but he does perform in the ring. GoodFella is in a handicap tonight."
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next the team of Brostar and Stank Lord, The Stank Duo!"
"This Stinks" plays as Stank Lord appears on stage with Brostar. They look around then walk down the ramp and into the ring, they pose for the fans as they waits for their opponent.
Jim Jackson: "ULOL's flatulent duo appears, these two have shown everyone what the word disgusting really means."
Brad Blood: "Yeah, I can't believe that of everyone in the roster only Nao Fook Mi had the balls to stand up to them, the irony is she has no balls since she's a girl!"
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing last, the team of The Morbidly Obese Man and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson, Morbidly Unstoppable!"
THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!
The earth reverberated and shook as the monstrosity known as The Morbidly Obese Man squeezed himself out of the now visibly cracked entrance tunnel. There is no entrance music and no video playing on the Titan Tron. Just one massive form that looks bigger than an elephant. The crowd stares in stunned silence, not knowing what to make of the super-sized behemoth making his way down the entrance ramp as the floors creak with every step. As The Morbidly Obese Man reaches the ring he climbs up the steel steps the crowd wonders how this "thing" can enter the ring. But lo and behold in a feat of utter incredibility and great fat flexing ability, The Morbidly Obese Man somehow squeezed through the ring ropes and enters the ring which sighs heavily under his weight.
"Papercut" by Linkin Park blasts over the arena as "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson enters the stage through a spark shower. He makes his way to the ring. He enters the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, scouting the entire arena.
Jim Jackson: "Individually these two men are probably two of the more dangerous competitors here in ULOL. As a team, well, if they do not turn on each other, they could well become our new tag champs."
Brad Blood: "You really don't know where these two stand, watching them is like looking at a dysfunctional marriage."
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "Well, the first team that gets both members eliminated does not get a chance at the belt. It's "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson going against Brostar first as the bell is rung. A right hand by UJJ sends Brostar staggering. Oh! UJJ takes Brostar down with a stiff clothesline! Powerslam by UJJ sends Brostar into the canvas."
Brad Blood: "Brostar can't even answer to UJJ, wait! UJJ looks around and tags in Felix Schwarz!"
Jim Jackson: "Good thinking by UJJ, if you are not in the ring, you don't get eliminated! Schwarz quickly stuns Brostar with a back elbow. Brostar staggers back... Schwarz takes him down with a Russian legsweep! Brostar tries to get up... Snap suplex keeps him grounded. Felix Schwarz hits an elbow drop before going for the cover."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Brostar gets a shoulder up! He gets back up but Schwarz quickly trips him and rolls him up!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Kick out by Brostar at two! Felix Schwarz Irish whips Brostar into the turnbuckles! Schwarz charges in... Brostar counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Tag between Brostar and Stank Lord! Stank Lord and Brostar Irish whips Schwarz into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Down goes Schwarz!"
Brad Blood: "Stank Lord just positions himself over Schwarz... AND HE BREAKS WIND! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Felix Schwarz is turning green and gags for air!"
Jim Jackson: "Stank Lord goes for a leg drop, Felix Schwarz rolls away and tags in Arnold "GoodFella" Bold. Arnold "GoodFella" Bold uses a forearm to the face of Stank Lord. Stank walks into a body slam. GoodFella goes up to the top turnbuckle... He leaps..."
Brad Blood: "AND HITS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! Stank Lord rolls away at the last second! He quickly scampers and tags in the nearest hand... The Morbidly Obese Man is in the ring!"
Jim Jackson: "GoodFella tries to Irish whips TMOM to the ropes... He can't do it! TMOM is too heavy! GoodFella quickly tries a different route... He tries to lift TMOM..."
Brad Blood: "GoodFella must realize that try as he might there is no possible way for him to lift TMOM! He's just asking for a hernia!"
Jim Jackson: "TMOM tries to land a back elbow but GoodFella dodges it and dropkicks TMOM on the knee! The big man falls to one knee... GoodFella charges and connects with a shining wizard! TMOM is still upright!"
Brad Blood: "Dang, that tub of lard really is one tough sunnovabitch.!"
Jim Jackson: "Dropkick by GoodFella finally sends the big man down! GoodFella climbs up to the top turnbuckle... He leaps... RIGHT INTO TMOM'S FOOT! The Morbidly Obese Man manages to get his foot up just as GoodFella was landing! Lifting DDT by The Morbidly Obese Man plants GoodFella to the mat! He goes for the cover..."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "GoodFella manages to get a shoulder up! GoodFella throws a couple of hard elbows to TMOM's face as he fights his way back up!"
Jim Jackson: "GoodFella bounces on the ropes and ducks under TMOM's arms! He bounces back and takes TMOM's legs from under him with a forearm to the back of the knee! GoodFella bounces back from the ropes... Dropkick sends the big man down again! GoodFella goes high risk... He climbs up to the top turnbuckle..."
Brad Blood: "WAIT WHAT'S THAT ON THE ULOL TRON?!"
The ULOL Tron fizzles and comes to life...
Jim Jackson: "GoodFella gets distracted by the message! TMOM trips him and he falls on his groin right on the turnbuckles!"
Brad Blood: "Oooh! No more babies for that man."
Jim Jackson: "GoodFella gets distracted by the message! TMOM trips him and he falls on his groin right on the turnbuckles! GoodFella falls off from the top... He tries to distance himself while holding on to his groin. GoodFella tries to stand up... The Morbidly Obese Man shoves his opponent down unto the mat, he leaps up into the air and sits down on them with such force crushing them to the canvas and pinning them to the mat executing a morbidly horrifying Massive Sit Down!!! TMOM for the cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Brad Blood: "Uh-oh, bad news for Schawrz if he gets eliminated it's over for his team."
Jim Jackson: "Schwarz goes in to replace his eliminated partner. TMOM takes a swing at him... Schwarz ducks under it and tags in Stank Lord! Schwarz using the tag to keep himself off the ring thus prevent getting eliminated! Stank Lord and TMOM start throwing punches at each other..."
Brad Blood: "EWW! Stank Lord spits into TMOM's eyes! Spit from that guy is corrosive!"
Jim Jackson: "DDT by Stank Lord connects! Stank Lord hits two consecutive leg drops grounding the big man to the canvas. He hooks the leg..."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "TMOM kicks out! Stank Lord tags in Brostar... Brostar and Stank Lord Irish whips TMOM to the ropes... HOLY CRAP!!! WITH THEIR COMBINED EFFORTS THEY ACTUALLY SENT TMOM OVER THEIR HEADS WITH A DOUBLE BACK BODY DROP!"
Jim Jackson: "Brostar goes for the pin!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "TMOM still gets a shoulder up at two! Brostar tries to apply a sleephold... TMOM backs into the corner smashing Brostar into the turnbuckles! TMOM tags in "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson... UJJ Irish whips Brostar to the ropes... Spinebuster connects! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson stalks Brostar waiting for him to turn around. Once he does "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson jumps up applying a three quarter facelock to Brostar slamming him down on the mat executing a Brutal JKO! UJJ hooks the leg..."
Brad Blood: "Stank Lord enters the ring to try and save his partner... Felix Schwarz takes him down with a spear!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Jim Jackson: "Felix Schwarz with the presence of mind to take out Stank Lord which in turn gets Brostar eliminated! Stank Lord becomes the legal man... UJJ tags in Felix Schawrz! Stank Lord charges at Schwarz, Schwarz trips Stank Lord and Stank Lord falls face first into the turnbuckles! He bounces back... Schawrz with a roll up!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Brad Blood: "The Stank Duo just got eliminated! Felix Schawrz eked out a win!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, The Stank Duo has been eliminated. Advancing to the match in the PPV are the teams of GoodFella and Schwarz and Morbidly Unstoppable! Now The Stank Duo shall decide the match where both teams shall compete in!"
Brostar rolls out of the ring and grabs a mic to speak.
Brostar: "Haha, you might have won this match but I get to choose your poison see I though of a match that will suit you both teams it will be a TLC match, but this is no ordinary TLC! The TLC me and Stank Lord decided on is called the TOILETS LAVATORIES AND CRAP match! You guys will have to fight in the toilet which me and Stank Lord uses and don't flush! So you two teams have fun at the PPV and while that happens I have decided on my match at the PPV it will be me and Stank Lord facing Nao Fook Mi in a handicap match."
Brostar drops the mic and exits the arena with Stank Lord.
Jim Jackson: "Looks like The Stank Duo may have lost but they still get the last laugh."
Jim Jackson: "What a night, what a night. Tonight we saw Nao Fook Mi get forced into a handicap match on Sunday, we saw GoodFella and Schwarz and Morbidly Unstoppable advance to face each other in a Toilets Lavatories and Crap match for the title!"
Brad Blood: "We also saw a midget! Don't forget the midget."
[b]Jim Jackson: "So what else is left after tonight? Well HanuChrisKwanbo is still left! That's right we have three title matches and a grudge match between Bloodflame and Lucian Blackheart and also a handicap match between Nao Fook Mi and The Stank Duo! What else can we ask for? Unfortunately we are out of time for tonight. Don't forget this Sunday! ULOL presents HanuChrisKwanbo PPV! Until next time, this is Jim Jackson and for my partner Brad Blood we say good night and LET THE LUNACY CONTINUE!"
Subject: Lucha Loco 12/23/2010 
Thu Dec 23, 2010 7:20 am
