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 Lucha Loco 11/06/2010

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The Morbidly Obese Man
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PostSubject: Lucha Loco 11/06/2010   Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:47 am



Fireworks and pyro light up the darkened building. Fans roar with the explosions, waving signs and mugging for the cameras. We see all sorts of signs, both vulgar and otherwise, including THE 2ND COMING!, THIS SIGN IS TOO SHORT TO WRITE ALL HAIL QUIOAECAOPEDIDWA, STANK LORD STOP STINKING!, QUOTE THE RAVEN, HE IS A KINDA GOOD FELLA, THE HILL IS HIS BELLY, and THERE WAS A BIG BOOM...BUT WE GOT BETTER.

Jim Jackson: "Welcome to United League of Lunatics! I'm Jim Jackson, and here is my broadcast partner, Brad Blood! It's been a road fraught with challenges, but tonight United League of Lunatics is back in business!"

Brad Blood: "For those who were fans of ULOL, thank you for coming back to watch us! For those seeing us the first time, we aim to give you a wild ride!"

Jim Jackson: "We got a stacked card for this first show! So let's get right to the action!"





"Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers as smoke rises from the floor. Dressed in a three piece Armani suit, the new general manager of United League of Lunatics steps out from the smoke and makes his way down to the ring. Loud gasps could be heard from sections in the crowd, gasps of surprise to see a man who many have thought to have retired from the world of wrestling. A sly grin spreads across the face of Marcus Troy as he enters the ring and raises the mic to his lips.

Marcus Troy: "Well it seems that there are those in the crowd that still recognize me, I am flattered. News of my retirement from the world of wrestling has surely spread like fire across the world by now. I should have been content with the millions I made off the insurance payments but how could I pass on buying this federation? A once powerful, world renowned federation like United League of Lunatics which has fallen upon hard times, now one-third it's original worth. Tsk tsk tsk. This place is ripe for the picking."

Chants of "A-hole! A-hole! A-hole!" start to echo throughout the arena.

Marcus Troy: "Maybe I am an A-hole, but I'm the A-hole who owns and run this place. I'm the reason you are all here watching a wrestling show tonight. I am the reason this once great fed is now back on it's feet! So hate me if you must but like it or not, you all are lining my pockets and making me a richer richer man!"

Marcus Troy starts to laugh out diabolically as the crowd starts to boo loudly.

THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!

The very earth reverberated with each step as the massive wrestler also known as The Morbidly Obese Man steps out of the entrance tunnel. He stops on the top of the entrance ramp with a mic in hand. And looks down at the familiar face of Marcus Troy. Marcus Troy looks up stoically at the big man, if there is any thought going through his mind right now, his poker face hid it well.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Well well well, Marcus Troy... Here you are running your little mouth off again. But that's all you are good at doing right Marcus? All you do is talk with that forked tongue of yours. I'm sure everyone in here is sick and tired of hearing your whiny little voice."

A short chuckle is heard in the crowd.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "But let's get to know our esteemed general manager, a little background for those who are unfamiliar with this douche bag. For those who haven't heard of him, let me tell you all about of Marcus Troy. This is the man who once managed one of the greatest wrestling federation of all times. After the burning down of the wrestling federation, Marcus Troy took the insurance money and ran off to Bora Bora. That's right instead of using the money which was more than enough to rebuild the federation, Marcus Troy took the cash and decided to live out the rest of his life in luxury. Imagine my surprise when I heard through the grapevine that he has purchased ULOL dirt cheap and is running a wrestling federation again."

A look of disgust spreads across the crowd as the look at Marcus Troy standing in the middle of the ring with contempt.

Marcus Troy: "Whoa there you fat piece of lard, you are forgetting two things here. One, I am the general manager here and you shall speak to me with more respect, and two... Well the fire that you spoke of, I wonder who started it? Oh yes it was YOU! YOU who almost killed everyone watching that night. I only took money which was rightfully mine but you almost killed innocent people that night. You have a way heavier sin than I have, and you dare stand over there preaching to me?"

The eyes and attention of the crowd quickly shift back up to The Morbidly Obese Man. What they didn't notice is that Marcus Troy has begun to sweat where he stood.

The Morbidly Obese Man starts chuckling on top of the entrance ramp as he shook his head slowly.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Marcus Troy, you seem to have omitted one little detail... IT WAS YOU WHO ASKED ME TO BURN DOWN THE ARENA THAT NIGHT!"

A loud gasp is heard throughout the arena.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "That's right, it was Marcus Troy who approached me with a grand plan of swindling the insurance money with the promise of twenty percent of the money once it was collected. By lo and behold, after receiving the cash, Mr. Troy here boarded the first plane out taking everything with him."

A soft shuffling is heard as the crowd's attention focuses back to Marcus Troy who is clenching his fists hard at his sides.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "And before you go on again about proof, I have this."

The Morbidly Obese Man pulls out a tape recorder and holds it up to the air.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Yes I was wearing a wire that night and our littel conversation has been recorded. I kinda expected that you would screw me when you got the money so I also took some precautions on my own..."

Marcus Troy is definitely fuming in the ring now.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Oh but don't worry Troy, I won't play this yet, in fact I'll keep this tape for times when I need certain favors... Favors which you shall grant me unless you want this tape to end up in the office of certain arson investigators. I guess I got the last laugh tonight eh boyo?"

The Morbidly Obese Man starts laughing hard as he turns around and disappears backstage leaving Marcus Troy standing in the middle of the ring, angry and frustrated.

THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!





The scene opens backstage where we see the oriental beauty Nao Fook Mi wearing a short and revealing cheongsam. Standing beside her is ULOL backstage interviewer Stephanie Dawson. Stephanie fixes her attire one last time while Nao Fook Mi loosens her muscles but rotating her shoulders.

Stephanie Dawson: "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I am here backstage with ULOL's oriental superstar Nao Fook Mi. Ms. Nao has traveled all the way from China to seek fame and fortune in the world of wrestling. It is my pleasure to get a chance to interview her. Ms. Nao, first and foremost, welcome to United League of Lunatics, what are your goals here in ULOL and what are your expectations?"

Nao Fook Mi: "First of all, thank you for this chance for me to address the audience. For those who are unfamiliar with me I am Nao Fook Mi, and I have come here to test my skills, as a martial artist I have been training all my life and what better place to test the fruits of my training than by battling it out in a wrestling ring. Beginning tonight I shall prove to the world that even though I am a girl, I shall be able to stand on my own against the men here in ULOL. But before anything else I want to throw a friendly challenge to the only other girl here in ULOL."

Nao Fook Mi pauses...

Nao Fook Mi: "Raven Connoly, even in China I have heard of your prowess in the ring. I have seen you battle and win against men twice your size, I would be honored if I should get a chance to battle you in a friendly match. What say you Raven?"

Stephanie Dawson: "And Ms. Nao has thrown the challenge, will Raven come out and answer the call?"

Both Stephanie Dawson and Nao Fook Mi waits if Raven Connoly will appear.


A door off camera opens, the camera pans over to reveal Raven Connoly walking out of her locker room. She is wearing tight jeans with a red plaid patter, and a black baby T, her red hair is in pig tails. She smiles and walks over to were Stephanie and Nao.

Raven Connoly: "'Prove to the world that even though I am a girl, I shall be able to stand on my own against the men here in ULOL.' That sounds familiar, I heard the challenge Nao, and I accept, I would love to test my skills against you in the ring tonight. I've been through a lot the past few years trying to prove the exact same thing you're here to prove. Don't think I'm going to go easy on you though, when I step into that ring, I step in it to win, no matter what, that's my goal. However, you give me a fair fight, no matter win or lose you'll get my respect, and maybe I can give you a few tips on how to survive as a girl in this business."

Stephanie Dawson: "It seems like Raven Connoly has accepted your challenge Ms. Nao."

Fook Mi nods as a smile spreads across her face. It is clear to all that she is ecstatic at Raven's acceptance of her challenge.

Nao Fook Mi: "As I expected from an opponent worthy of my respect. I am glad to face you later in the ring. I know that you will not hold back as I also would give it my all for I have seen tapes of you matches and I know that you are very formidable. As to whether who will win or lose, honestly I cannot be certain but what I know for sure is that this match will not pale in comparison to the matches between men."

Fook Mi steps forward and offers Raven Connoly her hand.

Nao Fook Mi: "To a night of fair fighting and great wrestling."

Stephanie Dawson: "And Nao Fook Mi bows respectfully with a fist to palm gesture towards Raven Connoly. What a show of grace and honor by Ms. Nao. This certainly will be a match to look forward to."

Nao Fook Mi turns around and leaves the backstage area as the screen slowly fades to black.





The Camera fades to black to show the parking lot where strange noises are being heard in a dumpster

??: "I was once a girl in Vietnam who used to be a boy in Antarctica who is also a mother to a blind German kid in Kentucky."

The Security shows up to investigate the noises. One of the guards knocks on the dumpster.

Security Guard 1: "Excuse me? Is there somebody in there?"

??: "No! It's your conscience speaking wohohohoho! Bring as much alcohol and tobacco as you can afford and dump it in this dumpster to repent for your misdeeds wohohohohoho!"

Security Guard 2: "Hey that's just some drunk hobo living in the dumpster."

??: "Who you calling a hobo, ya mud swimming pig?"

Security Guard 1: "Sir we are gonna have to ask you to get out of the Dumpster."

??: "I demand to speak to the owner of this dumpster. I have made this my personal drinking facility and need help because I can't remember how to open the door."

The security guards lift the lid of the dumpster in which the mysterious man has been hiding. The man stands up and lights a cigarette.

??: "Thanks ladies now please escort me to my locker room as I am in dire need of urination."

Security guard 1: "Sir, we need to take you out of this arena as you do not have permission to be here."

The man gets out of the dumpster and walks up to the security guard.

??: "I do as a master of fact, me name is ahhh ahhh give me a second I can't remember my name ahh is this it?"

The man points to an empty bottle.

Security Guard 2: "I doubt your name is Southern Comfort sir and please leave."

??: "Now I remember my name now its ahh I forgot it again no wait it's King Allister."

Security Guard 1: "We have an Allister King on the list ya think it's him?"

Allister King: "Yes she does now I will be with you mommytarily."

Allister urinates on the wall behind him.

Security Guard 2: "That's it we are taking you with us."

Allister turns around and urinates on the security guards.

Allister King: "Whoops well gotta go."

Allister pulls his trousers and runs while the security guards chase him. The camera fades to black.






"This Stinks" plays as Stank Lord appears on stage he looks around him then walks down the ramp and into the ring he grabs a mic and speaks.

Stank Lord: "Hello everyone I'm back, with new ability and stronger smell. Now time to get down to business, I have brought back my $1,000 Fart Challenge. If you don't know what thats is let me tell you. It is a wrestling match that can only end in three ways one, stinkface two, submission by farting and three, knocking them out with a fart. The winner will win $1,000, so do I have any challengers?"

Stank Lord waits for an opponent.




"I am...All of Me" plays as Brostar appears on stage the crowd cheer for him.

Brostar: Well well well, if it isn't Stank Lord issuing yet another Fart challenge well if I can remember correctly you and I was supposed to a $1,000 Fart Challenge but it never happened, so hows about we have it right here right now and the same stipulations apply if I win you stop bugging me and if I lose which I doubt, I have to join your Stank Gang. So Stank Lord what to you say?

Waits for an answer.

Stank Lord: Brostar I can't believe you are still willing to go through this. If you were smart you would forget about it, but now you can't make that choice because I have accepted and after I win you will join me, Stank Lord and you must do what ever I say.





Eunice P. Winslow sits silently in her office, the seventy year-old sighs deeply, in her hands the documents that she had signed the week before which finalized the deal selling majority of her stake United League of Lunatics to Marcus Troy. Though it pains her deeply, it was essential for the ailing federation to get new capital and she believed that she had done the right thing. She had heard many stories regarding Marcus Troy and none of them good, but she wasn't just going to sit there and do nothing while the federation she loved goes belly up. Damn her son-in-law for running the federation to the ground.

Eunice reassures herself with the fact that she still controls a minor share in the company, that she can still somewhat stay and keep a watchful eye on it as the vice-general manager. It wasn't much but at least she can make sure that Marcus Troy won't have free reign to do what he wants.

The old lady stands up from her desk, her old joints creaky but still strong. She heads to the liquor cabinet and pours herself some whiskey, she adds two cubes of ice before shaking the beverage and taking a few sips. She then raises the glass up to the air and speaks out to no one in particular.


Eunice P. Winslow: "Here's to a new chapter in United League of Lunatics. It looks like we're not gonna retire just yet."

Eunice brings the glass down and smiles to herself.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Yes, we still have a long road ahead of us and this engine still has some life in it left. I guess I won't be joining you yet."

Eunice said out loud referring to her long dead husband as she lifts the glass to her lips and finishes off her scotch as the ice clinks against the glass. She puts the glass down and heads back to her desk.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Time for these old bones to get back to work..."

Eunice settles down behind her desk as the scene slowly fades to black.






A steady flow of travelers make their way through the departure hall, doing the usual things travelers do before they get on their flight. Have a quick bite. Browse the shops for last-minute gifts. Get that project proposal done before turning off the laptop.

An elderly man slowly plods his way to his departure gate. Age and knees that never healed properly mean every step is assisted by a walker. It is not made any easier by him having to take a flight out of the country. Everyone else walks by him at light speed.

There is little he could do but just put up with it, until he's on that plane. By the end of today, he'll be seeing his grandchildren.

As he hobbles his way towards his plane, the old man notices the flow of traffic quickly turning in the opposite direction. People turning around, looks of astonishment and glee, before suddenly moving past him.

The old man glances over his shoulder to see what all the commotion is about.

And squeals loudly like a little girl.

He does a U-turn as quickly as he can, limping as fast as his legs would allow him. Squealing all the time like a preteen.

He's not the only one. Cellphones and cameras are brought out. Pictures, video and excited phone calls being made as a crowd gathers around the journalists already present.

Amidst the crush of the photo frenzy is a man wearing a pinstriped business suit. What stands out about him however, is the elaborately decorative wrestling mask he wears.

It is a disguise known throughout this country, and the rest of the world.

He is none other than the living legend of the wrestling ring. The masked man named Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Excited onlookers try to snap a picture of themselves with him as he walks past. He stops to shake hands with a few of his fellow passengers.

A woman offers her baby for him to kiss. He happily obliges.

Another woman offers her full, well-rounded breasts for him to kiss. He happily does so too. Twice.

The crowd arrives at his assigned departure gate. Reporters quickly ask him their questions, knowing they would lose their opportunity once he steps on that plane.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: [I have to apologize that I really cannot take your questions at this time! I will tell you this! I am very much looking forward to making my mark in the ULOL again! The United League of Lunatics, like my beloved, humble homeland, is being rebuilt! It is a new life! I look forward to exceeding the achievements I made on this second go-around! And I do this all for the glory of my beloved nation, that my success helps provide a soothing balm of relief and sustenance as we focus our efforts on making our nation the beauteous wonder that it once was!]

A spontaneous cheer erupts from the crowd. A beefy security guard faints, overwhelmed by the masked man's presence.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: [Your love and prayers will help see me through as I take on this new challenge! Wish me luck!]

The radiant rassler hands his boarding pass to the shaking hands of a nervous staffer. A moment later, and Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is about to fly off to the ULOL.






We see people at their desks, busy on the phones, going over documents, and holding meetings with clients and prospects. Everyone seems very busy. Every so often, we walk past a large portrait - each picture shows a man clad in spandex, or wearing a wrestling mask.

We turn past a corner, and see a large office, its occupant separated from the rest of the staff by soundproof glass walls and a very expensive desk. He is dressed in a smooth, expensive-looking suit. we step into his office, just as he finishes a conference call.


Manolo Ferrer: "Those of you in the know may recognize me. For those who don't, you probably recognized the pictures of all the wrestlers you've walked past on the way to my office."

He clasps his hands together on top of his desk.

Manolo Ferrer: "My name is Manolo Ferrer. In the sports entertainment business, I'm the guy the stars - and those who WANT to become stars - come to for that little bit extra to make it to the top of the mountain. Whether it be a simple little nudge, or a full trampling with a bulldozer, I'm the man with the road map to fame and fortune. and soon, I will be taking my advisory skills to the United League of Lunatics."


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2010   Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:48 am

VS

Jim Jackson: "What a way to kick off the show! We have a women's match coming up."

Brad Blood: "You got that right Jim, two hot chicks grappling in the middle of the ring, it can't get better than that... Of course that is unless someone loses her top... Mmmm...."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, hailing from Fujian, China, Nao Fook Mi!"

Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. She quickly makes her way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. She bows and gives her respect to the crowd before heading to her corner.

Brad Blood: "Oh I would definitely like to fook her... Asian chicks are always hot!"

Jim Jackson rolls his eyes...

Jim Jackson: "Earlier tonight, we had Fook Mi throw a challenge for a friendly match and Raven accepted."

Jasmine Lee: "And her opponent for the evening, Raven Connoly!"

Warriors Code By The Dropkick Murphy's starts to play throughout the arena. Raven runs out onto the stage, she throws her fist in the air and screams as a barrage of fireworks go off behind her.

Brad Blood: "Whoa! A red head! She's fookable too..."

Jim Jackson: "Stop it with the "fook" jokes already... I'm sure the ladies don't appreciate your rudeness."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Raven and Fook Mi circle each other slowly, each trying to gauge each other... Fook Mi charges in first but Raven quickly takes her down with and arm drag and quickly locks in a headlock showing her superior technical prowess."

Brad Blood: "Fook Mi... WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SNORT!!! What a name! But heck she's really really..."

Jim Jackson: "Zip it Brad! Fook Mi wrests out of the headlock and rolls away, she quickly hits a dropkick sending Raven down! Irish whip by Fook Mi sends Raven to the turnbuckles..."

Brad Blood: "I wonder if Fook Mi killed her parents for giving her her name..."

Jim Jackson: "Fook Mi charges in, Raven slips in between the ropes into the apron and Fook Mi slams into the corner hard! Raven leaps back into the ring... Tiger suplex!"

Brad Blood: "Whoa! Fook Mi bounced off the mat hard. I think she may be knocked out... Raven hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Fook Mi kicks out! She lives again to fook another day!"

Jim Jackson: "You are an ass Brad... Nao Fook Mi twists Raven's arm in a hammerlock... Raven spins and reverses it! Fook Mi tries to reverse it but Raven shoves her to the ropes! Dropkick connects sending Fook Mi to the canvas! Raven for the quick roll-up..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Again Fook Mi kicks out... Fook Mi sure have strong leg muscles, must be from all that foo..."

KLANG!!!

Jim Jackson quickly hides the ring bell after hitting Brad on the head.

Jim Jackson: "It seems that the ring bell suddenly hit my partner knocking him out. I guess I'll be finishing the commentary for this match... Fook Mi somehow wrests control back from Raven, she hits a body slam followed by an elbow drop. Fook Mi climbs to the top of the ring post. She leaps... Fying elbow connects! Fook Mi quickly hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Raven kicks out at two! Fook Mi with an Irish whip sends Raven to the ropes... Reversal by Raven and Fook Mi is sent to the ropes instead! Raven tries to cut her down with a clothesline but Fook Mi ducks under it, Fook Mi bounces back Raven this time tries a discus clothesline, again Fook Mi dodges. Fook Mi gains momentum as she bounces back, Raven going for a back body drop, Fook Mi leaps over her and hooks her up rolling her over for the pin!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Raven reverses and rolls Fook Mi pinning her to the canvas!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Kick out by Fook Mi at two! Raven lifts Fook Mi unto her shoulders, Fook Mi slides down! She spins Raven around and hits a hurracanrana! Raven gets up, Fook Mi sends her reeling with a spinning back fist followed by an axe kick then ends it with a side kick! Fook Mi's martial arts training is starting to show here. Raven holds on to the ropes clearly dazed. Fook Mi charges in with the knee! OH!!! Right into Raven's jaw! Raven crumples to the mat!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Raven kicks out! Looks like Fook Mi is going high risk again... She leaps from the top turnbuckle... RAVEN DODGES AND FOOK MI HITS NOTHING BUT CANVAS! Raven Connoly grabs Nao Fook Mi and throws her into the turnbuckle, Raven Connoly runs towards Nao Fook Mi, does a cartwheel jumping into the air and wrapping her legs around her head, Raven Connoly locks her legs around her head and pulls her to the mat locking in a koji clutch executing a 'Taste of Heaven'! Fook Mi is caught with nowhere to go... She tries to reach for the ropes... Nao Fook Mi can not resist anymore and taps out!!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via submission, Raven Connoly!"

Jim Jackson: "A strong debut match for both ladies, unfortunately for Nao Fook Mi, Raven walks out with the win on this one. Raven helps Fook Mi back to her feet... She extends her arm out... Fook Mi accepts it! What a show of sportsmanship."

Brad Blood: "Uhhhh...~! What happened?"

Jim Jackson: "Glad you can join us again Brad, is seems that you passed out suddenly, maybe you aren't getting enough sleep. Anyway you missed the match."

Brad Blood: "What?! Damn it... How could I pass out during a women's match?! HOW?!"

Jim Jackson: "Don't worry I'm sure you'll get to see more women's matches next time Brad..."






The scene opens to a barren stretch of road and weeds. A nearby sign reads "United League of Lunatics". After a few moments, the camera turns around and starts to head back towards the doors of the building until the sound of an engine causes it to swing around again. A silver Lamborghini MurciƩlago is pulling into the lot and slowly comes to a halt in a faded parking spot outside of the building. The camera hastens in speed as it approaches the car, but by the time it reaches the car, a man has already stepped out. It's none other than Alexander Conway, dressed in a stylish black designer tuxedo.

Alexander Conway: "So this is ULOL? It doesn't look much better then that circus tent Marcus Troy had for the last Wrestling Havoc Worldwide show."

Alexander walks the short stretch to the doors and slowly opens them. They give out a slight creak under the strain, an indication of their age and lack of maintenance. Alexander gives a slight grimace at the sight of the hallway. The paint is chipped, faded, and stained. Nevertheless, Alexander continues. He heads down the hall, passing many doors, which are in the same state as the hallway, on his path. Finally he reaches a door with a note card that reads "Alexander Conway".

Alexander Conway: "I swear, if I wasn't being paid so well...."

Before Alexander can open what is presumed to be his locker room door, Bob Bobbie taps him on the shoulder.

Bob Bobbie: "Hey Alexander, Marcus Troy wanted me to inform you of your match tonight."

Alexander Conway: "Oh really? Who's the unfortunate schnook?"

Bob Bobbie: "Actually, you'll be facing Goodfella, Hillbilly Phil, and Andrew Hunter in a four-corners match."

A slight smile cracks over Alexander's face.

Alexander Conway: "Sounds like a good time all over."

Alexander turns away from Bob Bobbie and enters his locker room, quickly closing the door before the camera can really catch anything. We can still hear Alexander's final words from behind the door.

Alexander Conway: "Damn it! Is this whole place a bloody dump?"





Four-fifths of a world away, an athlete known the world over has yet to leave the airport. His plane is waiting for its turn on the runway. His fellow passengers did not know that they would be accompanying him on his journey to the land of the United League of Lunatics. Their astonishment, excitement and outright joy have sparked a heady mood that has infected practically everyone on board.

They already had to revive two stewardesses for involuntarily, spontaneously orgasming in the presence of the suave superstar of the squared circle. The masked man known as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Yet, he is still four-fifths of a world away from the ULOL. So far, his masked visage is only seen on the posters, billboards, website and promo materials they've made for the ULOL's first show.

And yet, it is enough.

Already, a steady flow of media vans pull up into the ULOL's parking area. Various journalists have started giving live updates from the League, as they wait for the arrival of the superstar from four-fifths of a world away.


Reporter: "We understand that Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's plane is about to take off any minute now. In the meantime, we will give you up to the minute coverage of this blade of grass growing in this crack in the parking lot."

Other reporters take the initiative to ask anyone they could find associated with the ULOL regarding Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing joining the roster.

Reporter 2: "What's the mood like with the other wrestlers about Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing joining the ULOL?"

Random Wrestler: "Don't you want to know about my plans in the ULOL?"

Reporter 2: "I'm sure you have some really exciting plans. How do you feel about sharing the locker room with Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing?"

Varying expressions of dismay, bewilderment, and annoyance are seen on the faces of the wrestlers being interviewed.



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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2010   Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:49 am



"Hello everyone I'm back, with new ability and stronger smell. Now time to get down to business, I have brought back my $1,000 Fart Challenge."

He sits impassively as he listens to what the wrestler has to say.

"If you don't know what thats is let me tell you. It is a wrestling match that can only end in three ways one, stinkface two, submission by farting and three, knocking them out with a fart. The winner will win $1,000, so do I have any challengers?"

Music plays. People cheer as another man steps out.

"Well well well, if it isn't Stank Lord issuing yet another Fart challenge well if I can remember correctly you and I was supposed to a $1,000 Fart Challenge but it never happened, so hows about we have it right here right now and the same stipulations apply if I win you stop bugging me and if I lose which I doubt, I have to join your Stank Gang. So Stank Lord what to you say?

The video freezes as he hits the pause button. He leans back, his hands clasped into a steeple in front of him as he weighs what he has just seen. He slowly begins to speak to the camera.

Manolo Ferrer: "It is profitable to keep an eye on the talent of this new venture I am entering. This Stank Lord has a good thing going, offering a cash reward for anyone who wants to fight him. Appropriate in this current economic crisis. This Brostar is taking a risky approach, offering himself as Stank Lord's lackey should he lose. Some people may say it is foolhardy, but taking big risks is all part of becoming a big name in sports entertainment."

He leans back in his seat.

Manolo Ferrer: "That being said, risk management is also a part of sports entertainment that is unfortunately overlooked, until it is far too late. Both the Stank Lord and Brostar seem to be very confident in their odds of winning their blood feud. But one slip for either man, and his career would take a nosedive. The loser will be known as the putz who couldn't win."

He leans towards the camera.

Manolo Ferrer: "I can improve your chances of winning. Brostar, if Stank Lord accepts your challenge, and you lose, you can probably look forward to a long period of indentured servitude, which includes gargling Stank Lord's mayonnaise whenever he wants it. As for you, Stank Lord, if you go ahead with Brostar's challenge and lose, you wouldn't just be down a thousand bucks. I would not be surprised to see Brostar holding that over your head for the rest of your career. The image of Brostar standing over you, letting rip a full-flavored blast of flatulence in your face, would be on your Wikipedia entry. It would be all over Twitter, the internet, even posted on billboards in front of your house."

Manolo Ferrer raises his hands, as if trying to ward off the criticism coming his way.

Manolo Ferrer: "Either scenario could happen. All I'm saying is that you may need someone to make sure it never happens. Think about that, both of you."

Mr. Ferrer returns his attention to the videos on his desk. He clicks on the next clip, and we hear the voice of Shogun pipe through the speakers as the camera fades out.






A limousine enters the ULOL parking lot.

The driver gets out of the limo and opens the door for a man in his 50s dressed in a tuxedo. He climbs out along with 2 bodyguards

Some random person that was waking by notices this man.


Random Person: "Woah, who are you?"

The man in the tuxedo replies.

Sr. Gonzalez: "And who are you to go around asking people who they are?! Get out from here!"

The random person was about to answer when the bodyguards took some steps towards him, and he decided to do as the man had said.

Gonzalez and his two bodyguards enter the building.






A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals blasts though the arena speakers ans the lights begin to flash on and off. As the lyrics begin A man bursts through the curtain wearing wrestling gear and a hood over his head. Fire erupts along the entrance ramp on both sides of him as he walks to the ring giving him a flaming escort as he goes. as he makes it to the bottom of the ramp the flames die down and he rolls into the ring. He then takes a mic from the ring announcer and begins to speak.

Man: "It seems that now is the time for the only true fear in the wrestling industry to make his mark again. It is well known that ONE man has always been mentioned when it comes to dominating whatever federation he happens to be in..."

Man:One man is mentioned when the talk of who sends the most fear into the hearts of the wrestlers in the ring and the fans in the seats...

The Man takes his hood off to reveal himself as The Demonic God Shogun!

Shogun: "Fear is here...fear is now...and now the Demonic God is ready to dominate this federation like I have every other place I have been in and to finally win my first world championship title!"

Shogun: "I am here to bring fear back into wrestling! For to long people have gone through the motions with nothing to worry about...no one to show the world that their false heroes...are not invincible. I am here to dominate this federation and to rid this world of fools who believe that there is nothing to fear when the lights go out at night!"

Shogun: "I am the BEST wrestler in the world and the GREATEST monster ever to grace this planet! When I come out to this ring my opponents shake in terror as the horrors they are about to be put through!"


The crowd boos loudly at Shoguns words and yet Shogun speaks on unaffected.

Shogun: "I am not here to be all talk and no action however! I stand in this ring ready to prove to you all that I am the BEST...WRESTLER...IN THE WORLD!"

Shogun: "So now I call out the entire roster any man or woman who thinks they have what it takes to defeat the Demonic God feel free to come out here now and try! I am ready for you! The question I am here to ask however is whether ULOL is ready for The Demonic God."


Shogun drops the mic and waits.


We Are One By 12 Stones started playing and Taufik is on the ramp

Taufik: "Well look what we have here, a "Demonic-God"! Oh please give me a break will ya. Demonic-God my ass... You wanna instill fear in all of us? Hell, no fear is gonna break me. You yap about the greatest wrestler of all time, if you wanna talk about the greatest wrestler of all time, it definitely ain't you but the you're looking at right now, the one that is all so dashing! Ooh yea that all so dashing is me, Taufik. What you gotta say about that?"

The fans are chanting Taufik's name as they await what Shogun has to say.

Shogun picks up the mic.

Shogun: "Is the the best ULOL can send me? A second rate fool like you?"

Shogun laughs out loud.

Shogun: "I have wrestled and beaten LEGENDS of the ring! Household names that men such as yourself could NEVER hope to be as good as!"

The humor leaves Shoguns face as he speaks.

Shogun: "If you think you have what it takes to defeat me then come down to the ring now and regret the decision for the rest of your life! Tonight will mark the beginning of my dominance in this federation...though sacrifices will have to be made to make my presence felt and unfortunately for you Taufik."

Shogun: "You have just made yourself the first sacrifice."


Shogun drops the mic and waits for Taufik to come down to the ring.


Taufik: "Here's one thing about me, I don't just talk about it. I do something about it and if the GM is smart enough he would give us what we both wanted... A Match!!! So how bout it Dasher, What do you all think me and Shogun in that square circle right here tonight."

The fans get excited and starts chanting "We want it! We want it!"

The ULOL Tron comes to life and the image of the general manager of ULOL comes on. Marcus Troy puffs a cigar casually blowing smoke towards the camera lens before replying.

Marcus Troy: "Why is it always the same old thing? One wrestler challenges, another wrestler comes out to accept and they all think that I will book the match just like that... Well since you two are so eager to fight, let me book a special match for tonight. Yes, that's right, you two will be facing each other in the ring alongside two other wrestlers in a four way elimination match! You boys want to prove yourself in the ring? Well what better way to do so than to fight not only against yourselves but against two other able bodied wrestlers."

The crowd starts to get more excited at the announcement.

Marcus Troy: "Hmm but who else should I pit against both of you? Let me see..."

Marcus Troy picks up a clipboard and flips some pages searching from a list.

Marcus Troy: "Ah yes, these two shall be perfect. Both of you shall also be facing Allister King and Quioaecaopedidwazhaphing! So both of you better be prepared."

The screen fizzles and fades to black as the crowd starts cheering.






The scene opens as Stephanie Dawson is standing in front the camera and speaks.

Stephanie Dawson: "Everyone please welcome Stank Lord."

Stank Lord: "Thank you for having me here today."

Stephanie Dawson: "Now you will face Brostar in the $1,000 Fart Challenge, what is your plan?"

Stank Lord: "Let's not talk about that I got other things on my mind."

Stank Lord leans on Dawson's shoulder making the smell overwhelming.

Stank Lord: "I want you to be my personal interviewer."

Stephanie Dawson: "I'm sorry but I'm cannot concede to that request."

Stank Lord: "Oh well too bad, because you have no choice on the matter. You better do what I want or else."

Some random person: "Stank Lord leave her alone. She doesn't have to if she doesn't want to."

Stank Lord: "Ok I'm sorry."

The man turns around but before he could walk away, Stank Lord grabs him and puts his head under his armpit. Keeps him there until the man passes out then Stank Lord drops him.

Stank Lord looks at Stephanie with a smile, Lord quickly grabs her and puts her head to his butt and lets out a big, stinky fart.

Stank Lord lets her go as she gasp for air as he leaves the scene.




VS

Jim Jackson: "The next match coming up is... Oh lord... And I thought under new management we would finally have a decent wrestling show, instead we get this gimmick match..."

Brad Blood: "What do you mean? This one thousand dollar fart challenge is the BOMB! I mean c'mon flatulence and wrestling rolled into one? It's AWESOME!!!"

Jim Jackson sighs deeply and shakes his head...

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a special one thousand dollar fart challenge! The only ways to win the match is by executing a stinkface, making your opponent tap by farting or knocking them out with your fart! Introducing first the challenger, Brostar!"

"I Am...All of Me" by Crush 40 plays as Brostar appears on stage posing for the fans. Runs down the ramp into the ring and poses again.

Jim Jackson: "Brostar, a young and rising star in the world of wrestling accepted Stank Lord's challenge and it seems that he may have some history with stank Lord before."

Brad Blood: "Hmm... Brostar... Brostar... Nope, never heard of him, but I bet you after this night he'll be known as Fartstar after getting dose and dose of Eu de Flatulence from Stank Lord."

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for tonight, the instigator of the one thousand dollar fart challenge, Stank Lord!"

"This Stinks" plays as Stank Lord appears on stage he looks around him then walks down the ramp and into the ring, he poses for the fans as he waits for his opponent.

Jim Jackson: "Good god, I hate to be rude but this guy reeks!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man... What did this guy do? Bath in skunk spray?! I think I'm feeling nauseous... HUARGH!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Brad! Watch the shoes! If Brostar loses this challenge he has to be bondaged to Stank Lord in servitude."

Jasmine Lee: "And the referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jasmine Lee quickly leaves the ring covering her nose and mouth almost gagging from Stank Lord's stench.

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Brostar wisely keeps his distance as Stank Lord tries to inch closer. Stank Lord charges in and lunges towards Brostar... Brostar scampers out just in time. Brostar tries to throw a punch but Stank Lord blocks it and counters with a low kick. Are you alright now Brad?"

Brad Blood: "Uuuuuuuh~! I think I'm beginning to pity Brostar in the ring, if the smell emanating from Stank Lord is already this bad on the announce table, imagine how bad it is inside the ring. Look at the ref! He even has a gas mask on, where the hell did he get a gas mask?!"

Jim Jackson: "An arm drag sends Brostar to the canvas, Brostar quickly gets up. It is clear that Stank Lord's smell is affecting Brostar's in-ring performance. BRostar gets caught and lifted up... Powerbomb by Stank Lord. Stank Lord faces Brostar..."

TOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

Brad Blood: "Holy elephant dung! What the hell did Stank Lord eat?! That was... HUARGH!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Someone get my partner here a bucket! Stank Lord twists Brostar's arms behind him but Brostar fires off a couple of hard elbows to Stank's head. Irish whip by Brostar sends Stank Lord slamming right into the turnbuckles. Brostar charges and slams his forearm right into Stank Lord! Brostar sets Stank Lord up on top of the turnbuckles... SUPER FRANKENSTEINER!!!"

Brad Blood: "Whoa! Stank Lord just landed head first into the canvas, Now Brostar needs to fulfill one of the conditions for the win... He stands above Stank Lord... He strains... It looks like Brostar needs to eat some beans first..."

Jim Jackson: "Brostar Irish whips Stank Lord back into the turnbuckles, Stank Lord hits his back hard and slumps to the floor sitting down leaning his back to the corner. I think Brostar is going for the stinkface... Brostar sets himself up..."

Brad Blood: "STANK LORD JUST POKED TWO FINGERS UP BROSTAR'S HOLE!!! WAHAHAHA! Brostar just leapt a few feet off the ground and Stank Lord... EWWWWWWWWW!!! Did he just sniff his fingers after poking it up Brostar's butt?!"

Jim Jackson: "That he did. Never before have I seen a wrestler as disgusting and as unsanitary as Stank Lord. Stank Lord hits a hard right knocking Brostar back. Stank Lord grabs Brostar... Belly to back suicideplex, Brostar got folded up big time."

Brad Blood: "Half? I'd say Brostar got folded in three places. Stank Lord looks like he's taking aim... HE LETS ONE RIP!!!"

TOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

Jim Jackson: "Brostar rolls out of that one in the nick of time! And my partner is again turning green as he gets a waft of Stank Lord's toxic fumes."

Brad Blood: "I don't get it, why are you not affected?"

Jim Jackson: "My nose has been clogged up for the last week, I got this horrible cold. Brostar blocks a kick from Stank Lord and counters with a standing leg lariat. Brostar picks Stank Lord up... Irish whip... NO! REVERSAL BY STANK LORD!"

Brad Blood: "Whoa! Brostar got sent into those turnbuckles hard. He slumps on the ropes unmoving... This won't end well for him..."

Jim Jackson: "Stank Lord comes charging in... Big body avalanche! Brostar slumps down to the sitting position leaned up against the corner. "

Brad Blood: "Lookit that smile on Stank Lord's face..."

Jim Jackson: "Stank Lord turns around and walk backwards to Brostar. Stank Lord positions his butt is in Brostar's face and rubs it up and down he continues to do it until Brostar can't handle it any longer taps out to the stinkface. Stank Lord did it! Stank Lord won and Brostar has to serve Stank Lord!"

TOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

Brad Blood: "OH GAWD!!! Stank Lord just lets another one rip as he is sitting on top of Brostar's face, talk about adding insult to injury."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match by execution of the stinkface... Stank Lord!"

Jim Jackson: "Well looks like Brostar had just got himself a new master by the name of Stank Lord."

Brad Blood: "I have no love for Brostar but I do pity him now... Imagine being forced to be with Stank Lord twenty four seven..."

Jim Jackson: "Well we still have the four-way elimination coming up so don't go away folks, we'll be back after airing the odor out..."


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2010   Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:50 am



The lights dim down and silence descends over the arena. A man, cloaked in shadows, enters the ring.

???: "Where's my damn spotlight?"

A spotlight shines on the figure. The light reveals a black haired man wearing dark blue wrestling pants, black wrestling boots, black elbow pads, and with taped wrists. The crowd, recognizing the man, immediately starts to boo him.

Alexander Conway: "That's right! Boo me! Boo me because you sure as hell can't be me!"

The crowd's boos and jeers increase in volume.

Alexander Conway: "You know, after WHW closed I had a lot of options and a lot of choices. I had offers from the most prestigious federations in Canada, the UK, Europe, and Japan. But I wasn't ready to leave the U.S. yet....although this really isn't even the U.S. It's New Mexico for Pete sake! Too good to be simply Mexico, but not good enough to be given it's own name! But whatever, it's still considered U.S. territory and airs shows over the rest of the country. So I'll not leave until all of you maggots know my name and realize that I am one of the greatest wrestlers alive today!"

Alexander Conway: "For the past month, I waited for the right contract. I turned down offer after offer until my old boss, Marcus Troy, called me up. He informed me that he purchased a new federation, and wanted my help taking it to the top!"

Alexander Conway points to the roof of the building with a smug smile on his face.

Alexander Conway: "Initially, I was going to turn him down, but the amount he offered! Whew, it was like he was on his knees just begging me to return!"

Alexander gets his knees and pretends to beg before standing back up with a smirk on his face.

Alexander Conway: "It looks like you all will get the honor of seeing Alexander Conway wrestle tonight too. I arrived at the arena tonight, to be told by Bob Bobbie that I would be facing three other men in a four corners match. I'm extremely confident going in to this match, not only because of my win percentage in multi-man free for all style matches, but also because my opponents are complete jokes!"

Alexander climbs onto the nearest turnbuckle before continuing.

Alexander Conway: "So be ready, because tonight you will see "Mr. Calgary", "Better than Bret Hart", Alexander Conway, defeat two random ass jobbers and that loser Andrew Hunter in a wrestling clinic!"

"Hunt You Down" by Saliva blares throughout the arena as Alexander Conway climbs through the middle ropes and heads up the ramp. The crowd boos him even after he has disappeared backstage.





Scene opens somewhere backstage, possibly near the entrance to the stage. A few workers pass by then it becomes silent. Until a dark figure appears wearing sunglasses and a casual outfit consisting of a t-shirt, jeans and a sleeveless hooded jacket. The figure is known to almost everyone as 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Tonight, the United League of Lunatics will become one of the most watched wrestling promotions in history. Do you know why? Because I'm here. Yes it's different then most feds but to be the best you have to be in every federation and conquer them. Speaking of conquering."

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "MY opponent tonight is one that I have conquered before. The Morbidly Obese Man. We have had a PPV headlining match. I won that match and you ended up setting the entire arena on fire. Then last night we fought. Tonight we meet once again. This time in an Ironman match. I will once again prevail but this time TMOMster. Try not to set this place alight. Hehe."


'Papercut' by Linkin Park can be heard blaring. UJJ removes his sunglasses and winks at the camera before heading through the curtain as the scene fades.






Reporters curiously eye the commotion going on at the far end of the parking lot. Apparently someone is leaving the premises in a huff, judging by the shouting.

Reporter 1: "Whadya suppose that's all about?"

The other journalists shrug indifferently, as a limousine burns rubber in a speedy exit.

Reporter 2: "Could be something. Could be nothing. C'mon, we gotta get ready."

The distraction is already forgotten. They go back to their task at hand, keeping their audiences updated on the whereabouts of the reason why they have stayed at the United League of Lunatics' parking lot.

Reporter 3: "We have it on good authority here that his vehicle is just a couple of blocks away. Traffic is very light, so we expect him to be here in a few minutes."

Reporter 4: "He is coming in straight from the airport, traveling four-fifths of the way around the world to compete here."

Reporter 2: "We regret to inform you that, while awaiting his arrival, we found out that a dog had defecated on the blade of grass we were covering earlier. As of this time, the blade of grass is still soiled and smelly."

Then, they see it.

Reporter 4: "We see a gold SUV coming down the road. According to our sources he is in that vehicle."

News helicopters fly overhead, following the gold SUV as it pulls into the parking lot. The assembled news media quickly make their way to the vehicle, rushing to be the first to interview the man they have waited for all this time.

The low, sudden rumbling and squealing took them by surprise.

Without warning, a horde of overexcited, hysterical fans arrived at the scene. They quickly surrounded the SUV, lustfully cheering, waving banners and posters, and crying out his name.

They are there for him. The living legend of the ring known as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.


Reporter 1: "Where'd they come from!? They're blocking our way!"

Reporter 3: "Hey, let us through! News media here! Let us through!"

The journalists see glimpses of the masked master of the ring as he steps out of the SUV, even as their eardrums threaten to burst from the suddenly louder squealing and screaming.

Reporter 3: "My god it's like they all orgasmed at the same time!"

Reporter 4: "We can say that on air?"

Reporter 1: "Please get out of the way! We gotta interview AAAAGH!"

The reporter loses his footing as he tries to get through the throngs of excited fans. He sticks his head up once, twice. Then he is engulfed by the mass of young, buxom boys and girls gathered around the SUV.

Reporter 2: "He's going into the building!"

The remaining reporters frantically try to reach him, but the crowd is just too big and too rowdy. Several in the crowd stagger away, collapsing in twitching heaps of joy.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing gives his fans a final salute, before entering the building. Security guards struggle to keep the doors closed.

The surviving reporters stare blankly at the locked doors.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2010   Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:51 am



The scene opens to show a hallway. The camera scans the area from left to right, coming across a door with a star on it. The door seems to be made of wood, however it is starting to stain at certain places, showing it's old age. It's obvious the star used to say something, probably a name, but whatever it was has been removed. The cameraman slowly raises his arm out and grabs the door nob, and with a twist the door pops open. It lets out a faint creek as it slides all the way open. The cameraman steps inside looks around the room, lending us his eyes as he uses the camera all the while.

The room is pretty much empty, except for a desk and a wooden chair. The camera continues to scan around, but finds nothing. The cameraman exits the room, back into the hallways. He looks left, and sees a man with the familiar face of Andrew Hunter, wearing a dark brown jacket and dark blue jeans walking toward him. He stops abruptly infront of the camera, and prepares to speak.

Andrew Hunter: "So, I guess that it's time for my camera time, huh?"

Andrew Hunter raises his hand and wipes his forehead

Andrew Hunter: "Well, I guess there isn't much to say.
I see some very familiar faces here. Nearly all of which are enemies.
The most noteable is Alexander Conway.
He's been out to speak already, and he used that opportunity to call me and to other wrestlers jobbers.
Tonight, despite the fire damage of the past, I have another opportuninity.
I have another opportunity in another federation.
United League of Lunatics is reopened, and with it, the hopes and dreams of many restored.
I don't have much of a message for my other two opponents, but I do have something to say to Alexander Conway."

Andrew Hunter looks down to the ground breifly, but quickly looks back to the camera.

Andrew Hunter: "No matter what kind of respect I've paid you, tonight it doesn't matter.
All that matters is what happens inside the ring.
So, with that being said, I'll see you tonight."

Andrew Hunter turns around and begins walking away from the camera as the shot fades.





The lonesome highway, that section of road where when you're all by yourself, your thoughts gather and your subconscious runs free. Well, Hillbilly Phil has been there way too often as he sits on the side of the road trying to convince a police officer that the beer cans in his truck are not beer cans, but extraterrestrial space craft parts he picked up after being abducted by them. He even described extensively of how they probed him without the aid of some sort of lubricant. The police officer of course believes none of this and administers a field sobriety test which amazingly Hillbilly Phil manages to pass. So with a strong urging for the driver to find someplace and park it, the officer lets him go.

Hillbilly Phil manages to make it to the parking lot of the ULOL arena, still feeling a bit down at the government cover-up that is taking place after he was so rudely violated at the hands of the aliens. He opens the door to his truck and steps out, stretching his legs in the warm sun. Soon a mother is protesting and children are pointing and laughing at the man now rummaging through the trash in the bed of his truck to find the rest of his wrestling attire. For you see, Hillbilly Phil is wearing nothing more then a pair a boots, a hat and a smile.

After what seemed like hours had passed for the unfortunate souls in the parking lot who had the misfortune to look his way, Hillbilly Phil found the rest of his wrestling attire. A pair of well worn tighty whiteys complete with a half frayed elastic waistband and skid-mark down the backside. He hurriedly gets dressed and tipping his hat to the men and women he passes, makes his way towards the door of the arena.




VSVSVS

Jim Jackson: "And now we are about to have a four corner's match, a perfect follow up to the diva's match earlier. Four men, one pinfall, this could get verrry competitive."

Brad Blood: "I see some familiar faces and some new ones. It would be interesting to see who wins this one."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a four corners match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Alexander Conway!"

"Hunt You Down" by Saliva blares throughout the arena as Alexander Conway makes his way to the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Conway walks in with an air of arrogance about him."

Brad Blood: "Arrogance? That's confidence I see, not arrogance."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Andrew Hunter!"

"New Divide" by Linkin Park blasts through the arena. Andrew Hunter appears on the top of the ramp, straightening out his elbow pads. He smiles as he begins walking down the ramp. Andrew slaps the hands of the fans on his left, followed by the fans on his right. He slides underneath the ropes and quickly bounces back up, jumping up on a turnbuckle.

Jim Jackson: "A high flier with good technical abilities is what is stated here in his fact sheet. It also seems that Hunter has had some history with Conway."

Brad Blood: "So he jumps off a few turnbuckles, that ain't impressive. In fact that's a good way to invite pain, a whole lot of pain."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Arnold "GoodFella" Bold!"

"Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again and Arnold "GoodFella" Bold was standing in the middle of the ring pointing to the sky.

Brad Blood: "What the hell is with that retarded pose?! And look at how he's dressed? Long sleeves, a vest and tie, it's not even proper wrestling attire."

Jim Jackson: "Well GoodFella is no stranger to the ULOL ring, he fought in it countless times when we were still under the old management, it's good to see him back in action."

Jasmine Lee: "And introducing the last wrestler, Hillbilly Phil!"

A loud Yee-Haw blares over the speakers as bluegrass music plays over the sound system, Hillbilly Phil makes his way to the ring carrying with him a jug which he shares with the crowd.

Brad Blood: "Holy bejeezus! What the hell is that retard wearing?! Is that soiled briefs with garters that look like undercooked bacon?! EEEEEEEEEWWWWW!!!"

Jim Jackson: "I believe it is..."

Jasmine Lee: "And the referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "There's the bell and it looks like Alexander Conway and Arnold "GoodFella" Bold will be starting off while the other two wrestlers wait in their respective corners. GoodFella charges in fast but Conway ducks under the clothesline and counters with a high dropkick sending GoodFella back. Another dropkick floors GoodFella and Alex quickly hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One..."

Brad Blood: "GoodFella kicks out easy. Conway should have hit a couple more moves."

Jim Jackson: "GoodFella grabs Conway from behind, Conway reverses and spins behind GoodFella... German suplex! Conway grabs GoodFella's legs and starts to twist it applying an ankle lock."

Brad Blood: "GoodFella is screaming like a girl. Scream girlie scream and also tap out while your at it."

Jim Jackson: "GoodFella tries to reach out... Hillbilly Phil's hand is there... He gets a tag! Phil leaps into the ring! Alexander Conway lets go of GoodFella's leg and ducks beneath a wild right from Hillbilly Phil."

Brad Blood: "That skid mark on Phil's tighty whitey is sooo disgusting yet you just can't help but stare at it. It just draws you into it's fecal glory."

Jim Jackson: "Conway grabs Phil from behind and twists Phil's arm in a hammerlock, reversal by Phil! Phil sends Conway to the ropes with an Irish whip, Phil ducks down for a back body drop but Conway leaps over Phil grabbing him on the midsection and rolling him up for the pin..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One..."

Brad Blood: "Wahahaha! Conway just leaped up and disengaged after realizing his face is near that skid mark on Phil's undie..."

Jim Jackson: "Swinging DDT by Phil drills Alexander Conway's head to the canvas! That shook the ring. Phil for the pinfall!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Conway gets a shoulder up! Conway tries to shake the cobwebs off but it's clear that the DDT did a number on him."

Jim Jackson: "Hillbilly Phil grabs Conway and lifts him up. Conway slips free and lifts Phil up on his shoulders... Phil escapes and takes Conway down with an arm drag! Phil quickly locks his legs around Conway's neck with a figure four necklock!"

Brad Blood: "EEEEEEW!!! Conway's head is locked into those soiled briefs again! Conway quickly pulls his head free, it looks like he turned a little green there."

Jim Jackson: "Phil grabs Conway in a hammerlock, Conway reverses it and shoves Phil into the turnbuckles! Conway still gagging from the contact to Phil's undies quickly tags in Andrew Hunter. Hunter with a spinning bulldog right off the bat takes Phil down! He climbs to the second rope, flying axe handle! Hunter takes aim... He leaps... Springboard moonsault connects! Hunter hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Hillbilly Phil gets a shoulder up at two! Hillbilly Phil fights his way back up to his feet. Dang that redneck may be disgusting but he's one tough hombre."

Jim Jackson: "Hunter tries a hip toss, blocked and reversed by Phil! Phil lifts Hunter up and hits a powerbomb! Hillbilly Phil continues with his offense, he picks Hunter up for a body slam Hunter slips free and connects with an enzuigiri, Phil goes down! Hunter climbs to the top ring post. If he hits this it may be over."

Brad Blood: "CONWAY SHOOK THE ROPES! Hunter loses balance and falls right on his nuts! Ooh! That's gotta hurt. Looks like Conway still has some beef with Hunter."

Jim Jackson: "Phil takes advantage of the situation and quickly climbs up the turnbuckles. Belly to belly from the top! Hunter gets folded in half! Phil goes for the pin. This may be it."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "GoodFella runs in with the interference and breaks the three count. Phil don't look happy, he hits GoodFella with his forearm and sends him over the top rope! GoodFella slams head first into the outside of the ring. I think he's dead Jim!"

Jim Jackson: "Don't exaggerate Brad, he's just knocked out. But that effectively places GoodFella out of the competition. Hillbilly Phil turns around... Andrew Hunter kicks his opponent in the gut and tucks his head under his adversary's arm and lifts his opponent up and slams him backward with an arch of the back executing a Target Practice!! Ooh! Hunter hits his finisher! This could be it! Hunter hooks the leg..."

Brad Blood: "Wait the ref is not counting. Conway has the ref distracted in his corner! Conway is trying to enter the ring without being tagged and the ref is stopping him."

Jim Jackson: "Hunter realizes that Conway has intentionally kept the referee from counting, he heads over to Conway's corner. Conway with an eye poke then a blind tag! Conway goes to pin Phil."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, Alexander Conway!"

Brad Blood: "Haha! Conway conned Hunter out of that victory! Hunter did all the work and Conway went in and claimed the victory! Wait! Conway is not done, he stalks Hunter... Alexander Conway forces Andrew Hunter to the ground, catches Andrew Hunter's left arm in a leg scissor and then locks his hands over Andrew Hunter's face, pulling Andrew Hunter's head backwards executing The Prophecy!"

Jim Jackson: "Conway with his submission locked in, Hunter is tapping but Conway is not letting go! Hunter is losing consciousness... And he's out! Conway releases Hunter and raises his arm in victory as the crowd boos him loudly."

Brad Blood: "Man, I love this kid. Tonight Conway proved to everyone that he is a force to be reckoned with."

Jim Jackson: "A cheap finish for a cheap wrestler if you ask me, Conway is just wasting his talents using cheap tricks to win his matches. And his assault on Hunter after the match? Disgraceful."


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2010   Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:52 am



Sr. Gonzalez and his 2 bodyguards get to Marcus's office.

Gonzalez speaks to the secretary.


Sr. Gonzalez: I wish to speak to Marcus Troy. And I wish to do it now, I'm a very busy and important man.

Gonzalez looks at the secretary in an arrogant way.

Suddenly, his phone rings. He answers and starts yelling in Spanish


The secretary speaks to an intercom and gestures for Sr. Gonzales to proceed. Marcus Troy puts down some documents he was reading and looks at the man in a tux with two bodyguards enter the office. Unimpressed the general manager of ULOL merely sits back and puffs a smoke from his lit cigar.

Marcus Troy: "And who are you pray tell? You say you are a busy man but I am busier and you are wasting my time standing there talking in your chihuahua language on your phone there. Now unless you and your lackeys over there want to be thrown out, I would suggest you put down your phone, stop yapping like a chihuahua and start talking. You have five minutes and two of them are already up."

Marcus Troy sits back and waits for the man to reply.


Sr. Gonzalez drops his phone in anger.

Sr Gonzalez:"What makes YOU think you are busier than ME?! You are just the pathetic GM of some retarded wrestling show! I could-"

Noticing how his boss seems to be loosing it, one of the bodyguards interrupts.

Bodyguard: "Take it easy, boss."

Gonzalez regains his composure and begins to speak more quietly.

Sr Gonzalez: "Well, I came here for one simply reason. I wanna be a part of your show, that means, I want to wrestle."

Gonzalez awaits for an answer.


Marcus Troy's anger begins to boil. He clenches his fists in anger and slams them on the table as desk ornaments jump and tumble around.

Marcus Troy: "You dare call me pathetic and expect to find a job here? I wouldn't hire your ass even if it was to clean the toilets let alone wrestle in the ring. Look at you, you frail pathetic old man. What makes you think you can wrestle? You think you are tough with your two little pooches over there?"

Marcus Troy presses a red button on his desk and within a few seconds stream of security personnel pour into the office.

Marcus Troy: "Now I give you a choice you little piece of garbage, either you leave my office or I shall have you and your lackeys thrown out. I do hope you pick choice number two. I've been having a lousy night and I need to cheer up. So what will it be?"

Marcus Troy slowly starts to grin as his security personnel starts to surround Sr. Gonzales and his two bodyguards.


Sr. Gonzalez attitude changes as he sees himself surrounded by the security guards wich clearly outnumber his bodyguards.

Sr. Gonzalez: "Hehe, look at all those guards. I know people like you. You are drowning in all of your financial trouble, aren't you?"

Gonzalez and his bodyguards are completely surrounded by guards who are beggining to pull them out.

Sr. Gonzalez:"You will be! You are gonna have so much problems, my friend, if you just don't take the little help I can give you! I'm just telling you that you are gonna regret it! Remember it!"

The security guards push Gonzalez and his bodyguards out.

Sr. Gonzalez: "Wait! My cellphone!"

With a quick and strong movement, Gonzalez pushes his way through the guards and grabs his cellphone, that was still lying in the floor. The he gets pulled out again.


With a smirk on his face, Marcus Troy stands up and opens a cabinet door revealing multiple screens, using a remote he gets a feed from the security cam of Sr. Gonzales and his bodyguards getting dragged out the building before getting unceremoniously thrown out on their hineys.

Marcus Troy: "Ah yes, finally something done right tonight..."

At that moment Marcus Troy's phone rings, he picks it up and answers. A deep frown appears wiping off the smirk he had on earlier.

Marcus Troy: "What do you mean it's not in his locker? Did you search thoroughly? You are all incompetent fools!"

Marcus Troy slams the phone down and then slams it down some more in anger. He punches the wall in anger and briskly exits his office as the screen fades into black.






The Camera fades from black to show Allister King sitting in the Hallway.

Allister King: "Look at my feet!!"

Allister drinks some of the whiskey he has beside him.

Allister King: "They are a genius device!!"

He takes out a cigarette and lights it up.

Allister King: "I think the left one is planning world domination while the right one is working for the government. What do you think?"

Allister turns to the side and looks up but no one is there.

Allister King: "Don't you Start. I know your kind! You are one of those things that thingy with the thing.

He takes out the cigarette to drink some more whiskey.

Allister King: "Oh no I think I spilled some whiskey."

Allister puts his hand in the puddle and licks it.

Allister King: "No! Just my urine."

Allister smokes more of his cigarette.

Allister King: "What time is it?"

Again he looks up at nothing.

Allister King: "You are a very rude person. I asked a simple question and you don't answer me. That really hurts my feelings."

Allister stands up but falls back down.

Allister King: "You see! They are plotting against me. If i don't do something they could get the rest of me to rebel and if i lose my hands. I won't be able to drink. I just can't let that happen

He stands up and starts kicking the wall.

Allister King: "AHH!! AHH!! AHH!!"

Allister starts to stumble down the hallway.

Allister King: "I am your master! Obey me!"

Allister falls down and falls asleep.

Allister King: "No mommy I don't want to visit Uncle Frank! ZZZZZZZZ!"

The camera fades to black.






Marcus Troy sits annoyed in his office as he scans through the files containing the roster of ULOL. The unannounced appearance of The Morbidly Obese Man took him by surprise. When he bought ULOL, it also included all the contracted talents signed to the federation, including the wrestler known as The Morbidly Obese Man. He flips through the files and gets more annoyed when he sees other familiar faces signed into the roster, like Raven Connoly, a thorn in his side. He then chances upon the file of 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson, a man he knew too well, a problem child with a severe problem towards authority. An idea then began to dawn on Marcus Troy, an idea on how to kill two birds with one stone. He presses the intercom and calls for Bob Bobbie the intern.

Marcus Troy: "Bob! Get your fat ass in here now!"

A few seconds tick by and Bob Bobbie's nervous face pokes through the door.

Bob Bobbie: "You rang Mr. Troy sir?"

Marcus Troy: "Yes, get your ass over here, I want you to deliver these two notes, one to The Morbidly Obese Man and the other to 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson. Tell them that by their contracts they are bound to fight each other tonight in an Iron Man match. Hopefully those two idiots will take each other out. If not I'll find another way to be rid of those two."

Bob Bobbie nervously takes the memos from Marcus Troy.

Bob Bobbie: "Right away Mr. Troy sir, is that all?"

Marcus Troy: "Yes, that is all, and Bob don't get yourself killed when you deliver those notes, it's hard to find a good gopher around here."

Bob Bobbie swallows hard as he exits the office as Marcus Troy lights a cigar and opens a cabinet door revealing multiple screens with video feeds from all over the building. He sees The Morbidly Obese Man step out of the locker rooms..."

Marcus Troy: "Now to find someone to head over that fat bastard's locker and find that tape while he is not in..."

Marcus Troy picks up the phone and starts dialing a number as the screen slowly fades to black.





Stephanie Dawson can be seen walking backstage when suddenly she nearly walks into Shogun who looks like he is heading to the ring area for his match.

Stephanie Dawson: "Oh Shogun! Just the man I was looking for my name is Stephanie Dawson I do the backstage interview work for ULOL. Would you mind answering a few questions?"

Shogun looks Dawson over for a moment as if deciding if this woman was worth his time when he finally nods his answer.

Stephanie Dawson: "Okay then first of all what are your thoughts on your match with Taufik, Alister King, and Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing?"

Shogun: "My thoughts are quite simple Stephanie. I have simply gone from having to destroy one nobody that I have only heard of because he was in the last federation I was a part of to destroying three nobodies two of them being men I have never heard of even in passing. Tonight's match will be an easy victory and a waste of my time but I guess it will simply prove that what I say is FACT not fiction I AM the best and soon those three will know it!"

Stephanie Dawson: "So I take it you are very confident in your abilities. Would you mind telling the people who may not know you already a little bit about who you are and why you are so determined to prove that you are the best?"

Shogun: "Certainly... I am The Demonic God Shogun I am fear. I am here to show the world that I am the greatest being alive because the world would never let me do it otherwise... I have been pushed down by humanity throughout my life and now I am taking my revenge! To the people who have never seen me get ready to know what true fear really is and to see the greatest wrestler in the world today...for those who know me? You have seen NOTHING yet!"

Stephanie Dawson: "Strong answer. Last question, What are your plans for the aftermath of this match if you win?"


Shogun: "WHEN I win this match I will once again begin my quest for my first world championship. None of the false heroes that pollute this federation shall be able to stop my reign of terror! It is not a question of IF I win the belt my dear Stephanie...it is simply a question of WHEN the nightmare will begin!"

Stephanie Dawson: "Well that is all I have to ask you thank you for your time."


Shogun: "My pleasure now I must be going I have a slaughter to attend to..."

Shogun shakes Stephanie's hand and leaves the interview area.

Stephanie Dawson: "Strong words from a confident Shogun! Back to you guys at the booth!"






Various expressions of awestruck wonder greet him as he is led through the United League of Lunatics building. People reach out to shake his hand, or give him a friendly tap on the shoulder. He practically pauses every few steps to take pictures with the various friendly faces he sees along the way.

His guide at first discouraged the staff from getting in the way, but the new arrival would have none of it. He had traveled so far to get here, a few more minutes with his fans would not hurt.

It is the way of the world. This is the life he leads. Such is the burden of the hero of his homeland, the man known only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

He nearly bumps into a well-built man who is pulling out his iPhone. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing politely smiles and nods to the man, before taking hold of the iPhone, holding it in front of him.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Say cheese!"

A flash, and a snapshot of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing and the wrestler appears on the screen. The masked legend returns the phone, before quickly continuing on his way.

Random Wrestler: "What the hell was that all about!?"

Eventually, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing arrives at his destination. He stands in front of a big, important-looking door, which his escort opens for him.

The masked wrestler enters the office of Marcus Troy.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello! We finally breathe the same air! I hope you have a good day, Mr Troy! I have traveled across many seas and dirty towns to arrive here, and compete against the best and brightest talent you have brought to the ULOL!"


Marcus looks up and sees the masked wrestler he has hired. He gestures for the exotic wrestler to take a seat as he lights up a cigar. Taking a few puffs, he brings out Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's file and pretends to study it before putting it down on his desk and addressing his visitor.

Marcus Troy: "Ah yes, Mr. Quiooe... Quiia... Mr. Q, I hope you don't mind me calling you Mr. Q... First of all let me tell you it's a great pleasure to have a superstar such as yourself here in ULOL. I have seen what you have done in the ring and I am certain that you will be able to bring ULOL to new heights with your talent. Now I have already actually booked you to battle three other wrestlers tonight, a four-way elimination match against Allister King, Shogun and Taufik. Am I correct to assume that you have no problems with my booking?"

Marcus Troy sits back and waits for Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing to reply, all the while gloating to himself that he has signed a well known superstar that already has been a proven money maker. With Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing in the roster, ticket sales will skyrocket and so merchandise sales.


The debonair daredevil of the wrestling world confidently raises his arms to either side, in a grand gesture, as if looking to spread his greatness across the length and breadth of the office.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I receive a big challenge for my first match! I look forward to it! It is only fitting that I make as grand a splash as possible! My legions of loyal and loving fans deserve no less! I enthusiastically shall prepare for this contest! I would like to know if the winner will be awarded a championship! It is, after all, only fitting that a prize be awarded for the winner of such a big match on your very first show!"


Marcus Troy waits for further comments from his guest. Only to realize after a minute that Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing has said everything he intended to say.

The general manager takes a puff from his cigar. He lets the smoke trickle out from his lips as he prepares to reply to the charismatic masked wrestler standing before him.

Marcus Troy: "There is a championship belt but it's introduction shall not be tonight. I shall unveil the top prize once there are people worthy to claim it. You see what you've accomplished in the past is nothing in ULOL. In fact I would say that everyone who signed up will start off at an even footing, tabula rasa, a clean slate. You want a title shot? Prove you are worthy for one."

Marcus Troy lets his words slowly sink in. He was not going to give in to the demands of everyone who walks into his office, he is the one in command, the one who call the shots, THE GENERAL MANAGER of United League of Lunatics.

Marcus Troy: "I shall unveil the title two weeks from now, and also those who are worthy to participate in a contest for it. Maybe you will be one of the names that comes up, maybe you will be nothing but a spectator. I have heard your speech before Mr. Q, many wrestlers give the tired old cliche on how they are the best and how they deserve the title. So I will say this to you as I will to any other wrestler that steps through that door, show me that you can be the champion and you'll get the chance to be one. Often times big talk has been nothing but a facade of weakness. Now if that is all, I believe you have a match to prepare for. I shall be watching closely."

Marcus Troy clasps his hands together entwining his fingers, he lays his elbows on the table and stares into Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.


The masked man known throughout the civilized world as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing listens to Mr. Troy's speech, returning the stare directed at him.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I know that look you are giving me, Mr Troy! It is a gleam in the eye I have seen on many faces, in many places! I totally understand why you give me such a look! But alas, I am only interested in a professional and platonic partnership! And maybe a drink or two every now and then!"


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing leans back in his seat, getting himself comfortable.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I completely understand why you want to give everyone a fair chance! You want to put your best foot forward as the man running the show! It is not easy being the one in charge of a company in trouble! You get all the praise for the ULOL succeeding, and you get all the blame if it shrivels up and dies like a leper's erection! If the ULOL fails, you would be remembered on the internet as a has-been who should never have come back! You would be the Comeback Kid Who Could Not Come!"

Somehow, despite the fact that he's wearing a mask, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing has a faraway look in his eyes, as if recalling some experience early on in his career. Or perhaps wondering if he left the water running in his hotel room.

He shakes his head for a moment, quickly fixing back on Mr Troy.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "But I see you to be an intelligent businessman who should make the right decisions, that would mean the current and future legions of fans will not call you the Geezer Who Gonked It! As an astute executive, you are probably aware that they are not going to blame the big names they will always cheer for if the ULOL keels over and disintegrates into dust! They will look at the man running the company! That's you by the way! And sneer about how Troy fell again!"


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing pauses for a moment, noting the expression on Mr Troy's face.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I am not saying that is a guaranteed certainty! I am confident that you will do the right thing that will make the legions of fans happy! After all, unhappy fans mean happy, full and unopened wallets! Which means your job would be keeping happy the legions of fans who will watch me challenge for the top prize in the ULOL! It is my duty and my calling to bring them some joy and warm their hearts! And I think it would make good business sense to keep them quite happy! Don't you think!"


A deep frown appears on the face of Marcus Troy, certainly he could feel the masked wrestler's ego already beginning to clash with his. An ego which if left unchecked would pose a problem in the future.

Marcus Troy: "Do not test me, Mr. Q. Need I remind you that I, Marcus Troy AM the general manager and what I have already decided stays. You want a title? YOU GO OUT AND EARN IT! I expected newbies to come in here demanding a title shot right away, but from a seasoned wrestler like you, I expected that you should know the inner workings of a wrestling promotion. Unless of course wearing that mask have baked your brains, but I know that THAT is not the case am I correct?"

Though behind a mask, Marcus Troy seem to know that Q's face is now one of displeasure.

Marcus Troy: "Now shouldn't you be getting ready for your match tonight? I have heard of your prowess in the ring but you really can't be too sure, I would hate to see the famous Q lose in his debut match. What will happen to your title shot demands then?"

Marcus Troy mockingly asks Q as he notices Q's fist clench a little.

Marcus Troy: "Now we both are busy men, I still have other matters to attend to. You can show yourself out Mr. Q, and thank you for the courtesy call."

Marcus Troy blatantly dismisses the masked enigma.


The costumed competitor considers what Marcus Troy has told him.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Yes, you are the General Manager! It says so right here!"


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing smoothly picks up the nameplate on top of Troy's desk, showing to the General Manager that MARCUS TROY, GENERAL MANAGER is indeed typed on it.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I am surprised to find such insecurity from Marcus Troy! This is only the first day! You are the General Manager! Which means the fans and the supporters paying for the ULOL will either shake your hand and sing your praises! Or give you the super middle finger and think nasty thoughts! Not to mention not give the ULOL any money! I am not sure why you think someone bringing in legions upon legions of loyal and loving fans will be low on your priorities! That sounds like you do not want to give the fans what they want!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing casually returns Marcus Troy's nameplate the way he found it.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I think you need better advisors, if you are already getting shaky and nervous on the first day! I am already wondering if I was wrong to think you wanted the ULOL to be something people would remember you fondly for! If they do not like what you put out there, I am sure you know who would be given the blame!"


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing wryly taps the General Manager's nameplate.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "They did not ask the General Manager who used to be in charge of the other ULOL to come back! Because he could not keep the fans happy! I was asked to come back, because I know how to make the fans happy! I would still like to think you have a good head for good business to keep people happy!"


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing scoops up Mr Troy's nameplate again, one hand deliberately covering the GENERAL MANAGER part.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "You would be plain Marcus Troy if you cannot keep them happy! I think that would make you quite unhappy! I would still be Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing, whether or not you are happy! I think the ULOL would be a much better place if we are both happy! There is no reason why any of us should have less happy! So I think it would really be good if you can keep the people happy!"


The masked man returns Mr Troy's nameplate the way he found it. He stands up with a smooth flourish.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "This was a good meeting!"


The wrestler heads for the door.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2010   Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:52 am

VSVSVS

Jim Jackson: "Welcome to the next match folks, again we will be having another four men battle, but this time, it will be a four-way elimination match!"

Brad Blood: "That's right Jim, Shogun threw out a challenge for one and our esteemed new owner and general manager Mr. Marcus Troy decided to make things more exciting turning what would be a one man challenge into a four-way elimination match! He's a genius!"

Jim Jackson: "And you are like a barnacle, a bottom feeding suck-up barnacle."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a four-way elimination match! Introducing first, Allister King!"

A Coyote Howl is heard throughout the arena as the entrance is covered in smoke. Godsmack's Whiskey Hangover begins to play as Allister king walks out onto the entrance ramp with a cigarette in his mouth and a bottle of whiskey in his hand. Allister Falls a few times on his way to ring and sits on the ring apron while he finishes his cigarette and bottle of whiskey. He falls of the ring apron and hits his head of the ground which somehow seems to sobers him up enough for him to enter the ring. He gets in the ring and sits in the corner.

Jim Jackson: "Good lord, is he drunk?!"

Brad Blood: "Haha! He can't even walk in a straight line!"

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, he's the masked wonder we all know and love, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Nu-metal music begins to play as a highlight reel of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing runs on the ULOL Tron. A horde of reporters and photographers gather at the stage entrance, taking pictures and giving a blow by blow of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's every move as he steps out for his match. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing waves to the fans as he slowly makes his way to the ring.

Jim Jackson: "It's him! One of ULOL's most exciting wrestler, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man, I never thought I'd see him in the ring again. Quia... Quii... Quoo... Ah dagnabbit, I'll just call him Q! Last we heard of Q he has returned to his country to do some charity work. What a chump!"

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, here's Shogun!"

A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals blasts though the arena speakers ans the lights begin to flash on and off. As the lyrics begin Shogun bursts from behind the curtains with fire erupting from the ramp beside him. Shogun begins to make his way to the ring with a look of pure intensity on his face. as he makes it to the ring he runs up and rolls into the ring the expression on his face unchanged.

Jim Jackson: "Shogun has made a name for himself in the world of wrestling. And tonight he makes his debut here in ULOL."

Brad Blood: "Damn right, I saw this guy fight once and he kicked-ass, he's a demon in the ring!"

Jasmine Lee: "And introducing last, here's Taufik!"

Taufik makes his way to the ring to little fanfare.

Jim Jackson: "Not much is known about this Singaporean who wants to make a name for himself in the world of wrestling."

Brad Blood: "He calls himself dashing, I've seen roadkill more dashing than he is."

Jasmine Lee: "And the referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "There's the bell and it looks like Allister King and Shogun will be kicking things off!"

Brad Blood: "This will be interesting specially since it looks like Allister King is trying to trash talk the turnbuckles. Haha! This guy is hilarious."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun wastes no time and jumps King from behind pounding his back with his forearm! King gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Shogun but quickly gets up stumbling around not like a drunk but as a drunk."

Brad Blood: "Haha! King is so inebriated he can't even stand up without holding on to the ropes. It's a miracle he even found his way to ringside."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun lunges and drives a thrust kick right into King's chest just as he turns around King goes down with a half spin! Shogun quickly hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Whoa, that drunk still aware enough to kick out?! Impressive."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun quickly gets up and drags King up to his feet. He lifts King up and sets him up for a piledriver... Allister King flails around and struggles as the blood rushes into his head! Shogun can't keep balance with King wriggling upside-down Shogun stumbles back... Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing reaches out and tags King's flailing arms!"

Brad Blood: "Shogun doesn't realize that Q has tagged in! Q leaps into the ring! Shogun is still concentrating on King as Q sneaks up behind him. Q looks like a perverted cannibal stalker crouched like that in his weird multicolored ethnic mask."

Jim Jackson: "Q with a dropkick on Shogun's back sends both King and Shogun flying! King slides out of the ring from the bottom rope! Q with an Irish whip sends Shogun to the ropes, clothesline connects but Shogun is still standing! Q drives Shogun's head to the mat with an impact DDT!"

Brad Blood: "Whoa! I think I felt the whole ring shake with that DDT Shogun just got his face plastered big time."

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing drags Shogun back to his feet and Irish whips him to the ropes. REVERSAL! Shogun reverses it and it's Q that is sent running. Q bounces back on the ropes as Shogun charges in, Q ducks beneath a clothesline and bounces back. Shogun going for the back body drop, Q leaps over him! Amazing agility shown by Q! Q bounces on the ropes just as Shogun turns around, Q slides under in between Shogun's legs! Q leaps on the ropes... Springboard dropkick! Shogun goes down!"

Brad Blood: "Man, seeing Q dodge Shogun's attacks is like seeing King Kong trying to swat those little planes from the top of the Empire State Building but missing all the time. That Q is one really quick little rabbit."

Jim Jackson: "Q drags Shogun to the corner, he climbs up to the top turnbuckle... Diamond dust connects! Shogun looks like he's out! Q goes for the cover."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Shogun throws Q right off of him like a rag doll! I guess Shogun isn't quite dead yet."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun battles his way back to his feet but Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing stops him with a rolling kick. Q going for a bulldog but Shogun shoves him off! Shogun is too close to Taufik's corner, Taufik reaches out... Blind tag!"

Brad Blood: "I think Shogun ain't happy about Taufik tagging him out. Taufik leaps into the ring..."

Jim Jackson: "Q charges in at the Singaporean but Taufik dodges the clothesline and locks Q in a full nelson... Full nelson slam and Q's back meets the canvas! Taufik drags Q back up and hits a back elbow making the masked wrestler stagger backwards. Irish whip by Taufik sends Q to the ropes. Taufik throws a standing clothesline but Q ducks under it! Tau quickly turns around and ducks down in preparation for a back body drop. Q holds on to the top rope and stops himself! He kicks Taufik in the face!"

Brad Blood: "Wahahaha! Did you hear the sound of the impact? Let's see who's more dashing now after being kicked on the face. I bet that loosened Taufik's front teeth..."

Jim Jackson: "Taufik blocks Q's punch and counters with a punch of his own. Taufik lifts Q and hits a body slam! Taufik lifts Q up on his shoulders, Q holds on to the top rope and slips down!"

Brad Blood: "Whoop! That Q is one slippery fella."

Jim Jackson: "Q leaps to the middle ropes... Tau takes a flying neckbreaker from Q! Tau staggers back up, a vicious kick sends Tau reeling right into Allister King's corner..."

Brad Blood: "Allister King still drunk grabs Tau's by the leg and locks all four limbs around Tau's leg while singing Don't Stop Me Now by Queen! Tau is trying to shake Allister off, the ref is trying to pull Allister off. WAHAHAHAHA! This is hilarious!"

Jim Jackson: "The ref finally pries Allister off of Taufik and tries to send Allister back out to the apron. Tau turns around... Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing cannot help but feel angered by Taufik for reasons only Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing knows as he roars his battlecry charging headlong at Taufik and executing a devastating Wakangadiiehiyaojiasaiya!"

Brad Blood: "HOLY CRAP! Q almost broke Taufik in half! Taufik is down! Q hooks the leg... By the way it's amazing how you can even pronounce Q's finisher."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "And Taufik is eliminated! Hahaha! Taufik with all his boasting earlier to Shogun got eliminated first without even facing Shogun in the match. Even Shogun is chuckling in his corner... Classic!"

Jim Jackson: "With Taufik out Allister King is sent into the ring, he stumbles around in circles as Q tries to throw a few punches, each punch missing just by less than an inch of King's face. King swings around... And hits an accidental spinning backfist on Q! Q staggers back, Allister King lunges forward awkwardly and manages to grab Q by the head... Allister trips and spins... Spinning neckbreaker connects!"

Brad Blood: "What the?! I can't tell if King really meant to do that or it was all just accidental... King slumps on top of Q for the pin..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Q gets a shoulder up! Allister King grabs Q and he's... He's trying to kiss Q?! Q tries to shove Allister King off but King's grip on Q's head is a good one, King is stumbling towards the ropes with Q in tow... Amazing! Allister King just hit a springboard bulldog off the ropes! King somehow rolls on top of Q."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Q again gets a shoulder up at two! Man, if King is that deadly when drunk, how would he be sober?"

Jim Jackson: "Allister King tries to grab hold of Q again but hugs the referee instead! Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing uses this chance to tag out to Shogun to recover while the ref is preventing Allister King from planting a big wet one."

Brad Blood: "Shogun is back in and it looks like he's pretty much recovered and fresh. Shogun rips King away from the ref and throws him towards the turnbuckles with such force! Ooh! That impact rattled King's spine as he slumps to the ground."

Jim Jackson: "Somehow being drunk dulled King to the pain as he stands right back up! Shogun begins to stalk Allister King! King starts having an argument with the air... Shogun grabs King from behind, he hits a German suplex! And another one! And another! Shogun just demolished Allister with that rolling German suplex! Shogun hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Holy caca! That is one resilient drunk! Shogun can't believe he kicked out of that."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun lifts Allister King back to his feet, he hits a stiff chop! And another one! And another one! Allister's chest is red with the force of those chops."

Brad Blood: "Man I love hearing the crowd shout WOO each time those chops hit."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun lifts Allister King up on his shoulders and runs towards the corner... RUNNING POWERBOMB INTO THE TURNBUCKLES!!! King falls to the canvas in a heap!"

Brad Blood: "I think he's dead Jim! Shogun for the cover."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Jim Jackson: "King's leg somehow made it to the bottom rope! Shogun looks mightily pissed now! He drags Allister to the center of the ring. Shogun stands over Allister King who is lying on the mat face up and grasps his leg, Shogun then does a spinning toe hold and grasps the other leg, crossing them into a four locking in the Demonic Reckoning!"

Brad Blood: "Allister King is trapped with nowhere to go! This could be it! Shogun just locked in his submission finisher! Allister King is too drunk to even realize it! Shogun cranks up the pressure! Allister slumps to the mat unmoving! The ref rushes in to check on Allister... The ref waves his arms, Allister is out! I don't know if he passed out from the pain or the liquor. Either way he's not doing any more wrestling tonight."

Jim Jackson: "And we're down to our last two men. Q wastes no time as he leaps into the top turnbuckle and takes Shogun down with a diving crossbody!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "That Q is one sneaky foreigner... Shogun kicks out of that one!"

Jim Jackson: "Q dodges the uppercuts thrown by Shogun, he weaves around like a professional boxer. Q spins around and hits a reverse elbow! Shogun tries to grab him but the little man is faster. Q with a dropkick to Shogun's leg and Shogun falls to one knee... Shining wizard connects! Q for the pin."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Shogun still denies Q the win! Q heads for the corner and starts climbing the turnbuckles. Looks like he plans to fly Jim."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun regains consciousness and Q plays safe by jumping back down. Shogun swings a wild right but Q ducks under it. Ezuigiri by Q and Shogun goes down! Q looks like he's setting himself up for his finisher... Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing sees Shogun lying prone and wastes no time to jump up and land on Shogun repeatedly stomping Shogun until Shogun stops moving executing a devastating Diswehanpayagongtaila! Q going for the pin. This could be it!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thre..."

Brad Blood: "Shogun gets his leg up on the bottom rope! The ref stops the three count! A close call for Shogun! That was like almost a three!"

Jim Jackson: "Q waits in the corner waiting for Shogun to get up, I think he may be gunning for the Wakangadiiehiyaojiasaiya... Shogun gets up and slowly turns around. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing cannot help but feel angered by Shogun for reasons only Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing knows as he roars his battlecry charging headlong at Shogun... SHOGUN SPINS OUT OF THE WAY AT THE LAST SECOND! Shogun hits a low blow while his back is blocking the referee's view! Q falls to his knees in pain."

Brad Blood: "Oh... That's got to really hurt. I think Q better get himself checked by a urologist after this match..."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun lifts Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing up into into the air in a half nelson and then into a backdrop position before slamming Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing down to a sitting position, slamming the back of his neck to the canvas executing a Demonic Sacrifice! The ref goes down to the mat."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "Shogun won! Shogun wins the match!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the four-way elimination match, Shogun!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun with a low blow to Q gives him the chance to hit his finisher the Demonic Sacrifice. Q is slowly regaining consciousness. It looks like he ain't too happy about how things turned out."

Brad Blood: "He lost, that's it, he should accept it like a man and move on."

Jim Jackson: "Well the look in Q's eyes says otherwise... I think we may see more of Q and Shogun in the near future."






Sr. Gonzalez and his bodyguards are kicked out of the building by the security staff. Gonzalez rushes to his limo in anger.

The random person that had spoken with him before just happened to be in the parking again. What a coincidence.


Random Person: "So, what happened to you?"

Gonzalez ignores him and gets in his ride, but he is glad that there is someone around that can listen to what he is going to yell. He gets his head out of the window.

Sr. Gonzalez: "Marcus! You can be sure, completely SURE, that this will be NOT left like this! YOU ARE GONNA REGRET THIS!"

He gets his head back into the limousine and it rushes away.





Scene opens inside Marcus' locker room. He is casually smoking a fresh cigar and he is pleased with the way the night is going. A knock is heard on the door and a man enters. Marcus' eyes widen in shock as the man removes his hood. It's The British Hawk, still sporting the unshaven face from the day before. He takes a seat and starts to speak.

The British Hawk: "Well we meet again Marcus. Well I'm not going to take too much of your time. I want a job here at the United Leauge of Lunatics."

TBH's sleepless eyes look directly at Marcus who is still in shock.


There are many types of shock, but one of mocked shocked was right now plastered on Marcus Troy's face. One that blatantly laughs at The British Hawk and how far he had fallen. Once a rising star in the world of wrestling, with prime contracts lined-up at his feet now stands defeated and begging for work. Marcus Troy begins to chuckle, a low grumbling chuckle, slowly rising in pitch before bursting into a full laugh as The British Hawk watches with his head hung low and his pride tucked beneath the deep recess of his soul.

Marcus Troy: "The British Hawk... My my my... It seems that fate has not been kind to you. To see you now here begging for a job. I think I may still have an opening..."

Marcus pretends to flip through some files.

Marcus Troy: "Ah yes, it looks like one of our janitors have suddenly quit, so how does cleaning toilets sound to you Hawk?"

Marcus continued to mock The British Hawk as the wrestler's eyes stared back seething with hatred.

Marcus Troy: "Aww, did falling from grace also strip you of your humor? And I thought the British could take a ribbing or two no problem. You want a job Hawk? Well why don't you prove yourself in the ring? Next week I shall pit you against a newcomer named Roe Kai. If you manage to perform well against him to show me that you still have the skills you once had, I shall consider hiring you. A fair proposition if you ask me."

Marcus Troy reaches to his pockets and pulls out his wallet where he takes a ten dollar bill and lays it on the table.

Marcus Troy: "Now go buy some soap and take a bath, you smell like Stank Lord and god forbids that we have two people who smell worse than crap in the premises."


The British Hawk looks at Marcus then at the money then back at Marcus. He picks up the money then scrunches it in a ball before chucking it at Marcus, hitting him in the face.

The British Hawk: "Marcus, you of all people should know that I don't take money from anyone. Especially scum like you. As for next week. Roe Kai better be ready for a fight. Because I'm sure as hell that I'm going to give it all I got."

With saying that, TBH throws his hood back over his head and walks out, slamming the door on the way out. Marcus picks up the $10 bill that was thrown at him and chucks it into the bin. The scene fades to black.






Seated inside the locker room is none other than the behemoth of a wrestler also known as The Morbidly Obese Man. He slowly munches on a hero sandwich while he pats himself on the back for getting one up on Marcus Troy earlier. A knock on the door brings him back to his senses. He slowly rises and opens the door.

Bob Bobbie: "Ah, excuse me Mr. Morbidly Obese Man sir, but I have a memo for you from the boss."

The trembling hands of the intern slowly hands the note to The Morbidly Obese Man. Taking the note the big wrestler reads it over before crumpling it and ripping it to shreds.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Well well well, it seems that Marcus thinks he can get rid of me by pitting me against 'Unprobable" Jack Johnson. It seems that little gnat has followed me again here to ULOL. It matters not, by the end of the night I shall destroy Johnson then me and Marcus will have a little talk..."

The Morbidly Obese Man turns to Bob Bobbie who is clearly trembling in his shoes.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Tell Troy that I have received his little memo and tell him I'm paying him a visit when the night is over and he better be prepared to answer to me, is that clear?"

Bob Bobbie merely nods his head.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Now stop nodding your head like an idiot and go!"

Bob Bobbie quickly departs as the scene slowly fades to black.




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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2010   Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:54 am



Arnold Bold known as GoodFella and his tag team partner Taufik is standing outside the hallway in front a door with the name "Manolo Ferrer" on it. GoodFella knocks on the door excitedly knowing who is behind it what he can do for The Entourage. They both wait eagerly for the door to open and hopefully bring them into a new level of wrestling.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "I have heard about Manolo Ferrer, everyone he manages becomes champions. If he manages us I am sure we will become champs in no time at all. Trust me on this Tau, this is the right way to go."


Taufik who is eating a Slim Jim and drinking a can of Pepsi answers Arnold.

Taufik: "I'll hope you know what you're saying, cause right now both of us need to get wins to be noticed. So if this manager is going to lead us to victory I'm with ya."

A man comes out to meet the Arnold Bold and Taufik.

Man: "Please, come this way. Mr. Ferrer is expecting you."

He leads the two men past several rooms, filled with staff at their assigned cubicles, handling the business of a multimillion-dollar talent agency. They walk past several large photos, showing Manolo Ferrer posing with some of the biggest names to have ever competed in a wrestling ring.

They step into the large office of the man in charge of this whole business. He walks over to greet them, giving both Taufik and Arnold Bold a firm handshake.


Manolo Ferrer: "I understand you wish to do business with me. Please, have a seat."

His voice is the sound of a man in charge, the boom of a higher power who beckons lesser men to heed his call. It is the voice of a man who has the authority, and the literal size, to look at both Taufik and Arnold Bold eye to eye.

A secretary silently enters, carrying a tray with beverages for his guests.


Manolo Ferrer: "Coffee or tea? You have a proposal. I'm all ears. What can I do for you?"


GoodFella shakes Manolo's hand and sit down as Ferrer's secretary comes with beverages and offers coffee or tea to Arnold.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Coffee please with milk. Anyway, let's go straight to business. We are one of the most decorated tag team in the wrestling business these days. And I heard about you, a man who can lead wrestlers such as us into the glory. So me and my partner decided to come and ask if you Mister Ferrer would agree to manage us?"

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold lifts the cup to his mouth and drinks it. He puts cup of coffee on the table and waits til Manolo Ferrer responds.


Taufik: "Well I want neither coffee nor tea but I would love some Pepsi please. Well I have a question too that I want answered. Will your services will be just for us as a tag team or will it be as well for the singles competition? That's what I want to know."

Taufik waits for his Pepsi to arrive as he take out another packet of Slim Jim and starts chewing as he is awaits for Manolo Ferrer to respond as well.

He listens to what they have to say.

Manolo Ferrer: "You have heard right. There is much I can do for you in my capacity as a manager and advisor. The question is, would you be willing to receive such criticism, and would you be willing to use such remarks to better yourselves?"

Manolo waits until Taufik and "Goodfella" Bold received their requested refreshments.

Manolo Ferrer: "I am going to make it clear right now. I am a very demanding manager. Many of the talent who sign up with me do not pan out due to the nature of the business. But if you stick with me, you should get a better chance than others who have not decided to take me on as a consultant to their career choices."


Taufik: Well, nevermind about the criticism, I'm willing to work with you as long as we get the titles as reward of our hard work with you. And with that I've agree to work with you under your terms and conditions. I'm ready for all the criticism that I'm gonna get from you no matter how hurting it will be. Groom me up to be a dashing champion. As an offer of my gratitude for your service, I give you the best moisturizer cream for your face so that your face will be as smooth as it was once was in your younger days or even better."

Taufik places the moisturizer cream on the table in front of Manolo and then crosses his arms and waits for his partner Arnold to reply to Manolo's request.

GoodFella looks at his buddy and tag team partner Taufik then nods his head his head before finally responding to a man which is going to be their manager, the legend named Manolo Ferrer.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "I believe that you will bring us the glory which we deserve, thus we will without question follow you wholeheartedly without any doubt. Furthermore if someone will be standing in our way we will take them out no matter what."


GoodFella looks at Taufik again. Taufik is nodding his head.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "We are willing to listen your criticism and and we will do everything that you command, no questions asked. And I assure you that you shall be proud of us like all those champions you've managed in the past. It looks like we have a deal here then."

GoodFella puts out an arm ready to shake Mr. Ferrer's hand to seal the deal.

The hefty man behind the big desk smiles in response to their agreement.

Manolo Ferrer: "That is good then. So, it seems we have a deal."

He reaches over to accept the gift from Taufik. He skims over the list of ingredients as he continues with what he has to say.

Manolo Ferrer: "I would like you to provide some more information for me. I'll need details of your current training regimen. I would like you to keep a diary for the next two weeks, covering what food and drink you will be consuming during this period. This will include whatever you may eat and drink at parties or at the pub. I'll also need information on what diet supplements, vitamins and medicines you're currently taking. This is largely part of our strategy to improve the athletes we manage."

He drops Taufik's gift into a drawer.

Manolo Ferrer: "Our roadmap to making you even more successful than you are now will not be easy. But ultimately, the rewards in the end should be worth the effort we will be putting in. If you want to remain focused as a tag team, then by all means we will proceed with that in mind. But if you want to develop solo careers, then we shall take that route. There are many doors of opportunity for you, especially when you will be having me as your advisor. It helps that ULOL is still young, and we're at the ground floor of a project that is predicted to make us all a tidy amount."

He flashes a predatory smile.

Manolo Ferrer: "I will have someone send you the management contracts to formalize our arrangement. The sooner we start, the sooner you two should be ready to take over the business."




VS

Jim Jackson: "Welcome to the main event of the evening folks, tonight we have two superstars in an iron man match!"

Brad Blood: "That's right the whale of a wrestler known as The Morbidly Obese Man will be going against up and coming star "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a last man standing match! Introducing first, The Morbidly Obese Man!"

THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!

The earth reverberated and shook as the monstrosity known as The Morbidly Obese Man squeezed himself out of the now visibly cracked entrance tunnel. There is no entrance music and no video playing on the Titan Tron. Just one massive form that looks bigger than an elephant. The crowd stares in stunned silence, not knowing what to make of the super-sized behemoth making his way down the entrance ramp as the floors creak with every step. As The Morbidly Obese Man reaches the ring he climbs up the steel steps the crowd wonders how this "thing" can enter the ring. But lo and behold in a feat of utter incredibility and great fat flexing ability, The Morbidly Obese Man somehow squeezed through the ring ropes and enters the ring which sighs heavily under his weight.

Brad Blood: "HOLY SONNUVA WHALE!!! Look at the size of that THING!!! Do they even have space to wrestle in there?!"

Jim Jackson: "Well he's certainly intimidating."

Brad Blood: "Intimidating is an understatement."

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for tonight, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson!"

"Papercut" by Linkin Park blasts over the arena as "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson enters the stage through a spark shower. He makes his way to the ring. He enters the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, scouting the entire arena.

Jim Jackson: "It looks like the ladies are wolf whistling at UJJ."

Brad Blood: "Well he can't help it if he's so dreamy..."

Jasmine Lee: "And the referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "I'll pretend I didn't hear that from you. It says here in the fact sheet that these two have met each other in the past and a kind of pseudo-rivalry has formed. And there's the bell! And it's UJJ charging in first! TMOM tries to chop him down but he spins out of the way and connects with a back elbow!"

Brad Blood: "Eww! Did you see that flab under TMOM's chin jiggle upon impact?!"

Jim Jackson: "UJJ tucks TMOM's head under his arms, he goes for a bulldog but TMOM wrenches his head free! UJJ goes for a hip toss, TMOM reverses it and it's UJJ who is sent flying! UJJ quickly gets up and gets floored by a chop!"

Brad Blood: "Whoa! With the size of TMOM's hand, that was like a super-sized chop."

Jim Jackson: "TMOM manhandles "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson and lifts him up over his shoulders... Fallaway slam! TMOM for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "UJJ managed to get a shoulder up. Honestly I am amazed he was able to get his shoulder up under all that weight. Imagine being smushed by all those cellulite... EEWWWW!!!"

Jim Jackson: "TMOM sends UJJ to the ropes with an Irish whip, clothesline almost knocked UJJ's head off! TMOM again sends "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson to the ropes with an Irish Whip. This time UJJ ducks under TMOM's arm he bounces back and hits a running bulldog before the big man can turn around! UJJ lands a couple of elbow drops to make sure TMOM stays down, he goes for the pinfall."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Whoa! TMOM just threw UJJ off of him like a ragdoll! UJJ was launched a few feet."

Jim Jackson: "TMOM slowly gets up, clothesline by UJJ connects but TMOM is still standing! UJJ goes for a flapjack but fails to even lift TMOM off the ground!"

Brad Blood: "Well unless you are looking to contract hernia, I would strongly advise trying to lift TMOM. I mean lookit the size of that man, even five men will have a tough time lifting him."

Jim Jackson: "UJJ hits TMOM with a couple of knees to the head, I think he may have rocked the big man. He grabs TMOM by the head... DDT! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson stalks The Morbidly Obese Man waiting for him to turn around. Once he does "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson jumps up applying a three quarter facelock to The Morbidly Obese Man slamming him down on the mat executing a brutal JKO! UJJ HITS HIS FINISHER FROM OUT OF NOWHERE! He hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "Damn! This I didn't see coming, UJJ gets the advantage with the first pin."

Jim Jackson: "UJJ raises his arm in celebration after getting the first pinfall! It's now one-zero for UJJ."

Brad Blood: "Looks like he took too long celebrating, TMOM is up on his feet and is standing behind UJJ..."

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man spins "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson around and kicks him in the guts. He lifts UJJ up and hits a powerbomb! He's not done with UJJ yet, he lifts UJJ up and positions him upside-down... He drills UJJ's head unto the mat with a piledriver! TMOM for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "UJJ gets a leg up on the bottom rope! Talk about close call! UJJ struggles to his feet..."

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man shoves his opponent down unto the mat, he leaps up into the air and sits down on them with such force crushing them to the canvas and pinning them to the mat executing a morbidly horrifying Massive Sit Down!!!"

Brad Blood: "OMIGAWD! TMOM JUST FLATTENED "UNSTOPPABLE" JACK JOHNSON!!! The ref goes for the three count."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "And just like that the playing field has been evened out again. The score is now tied at one each with twenty minutes still left on the clock!"

Brad Blood: "The question is if UJJ can still continue after getting crushed by all that weight. I think he's not even moving. You think he needs CPR? I can do mouth to mouth..."

Jim Jackson: "Looks like TMOM is not letting up, he lifts UJJ up and slams him unto the mat with a scoop slam. TMOM starts climbing the turnbuckles. He slowly makes his way to the top."

Brad Blood: "I can't believe the turnbuckles actually supported TMOM's weight. Uh-oh... I think we are about to see a whale fly..."

Jim Jackson: "UJJ quickly gets up and trips TMOM's legs! The Morbidly Obese Man falls on his groin! UJJ quickly leaps up to the corner, he starts landing stiff punches unto TMOM's head! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! UJJ leaps down just as TMOM falls off the top of the turnbuckles."

Brad Blood: "Wait what is UJJ doing in the corner? He's removing the protective covering of the turnbuckles! He's unlacing the covering and exposing the steel!"

Jim Jackson: "UJJ turns around and TMOM has already recovered! UJJ with an Irish whip tries to send TMOM to the corner with the exposed turnbuckle... REVERSAL!!! UJJ hit's the exposed steel back first!"

Brad Blood: "Talk about a major backfire in strategy! UJJ slumps to the ground after getting his spine rattled by the exposed steel."

Jim Jackson: "TMOM grabs UJJ by the head and starts slamming UJJ's head unto the exposed turnbuckle! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson is down! TMOM hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "TMOM gets another one! It's now two-one in favor of TMOM!"

Jim Jackson: "That it is, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson seem to have been stopped. With still plenty of time left on the clock can he still recover? TMOM again wastes no time and lifts UJJ up. "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson grabs on to the top rope and slips free! Dropkick by UJJ sends TMOM back a few steps. UJJ with another dropkick sends TMOM back a few paces more! A third dropkick sends TMOM to the ropes! UJJ with a discus clothesline SENDS TMOM OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man! UJJ somehow was able to get a second wind! This is his chance to turn things around!"

Jim Jackson: "UJJ leaps over the top rope and lands on the apron. He hits a double axe handle knocking TMOM down! The ref has begun counting!"

Brad Blood: "UJJ has brought the fight outside the ring!"

Jim Jackson: "UJJ grabs TMOM and Irish whips him into the steel steps!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "UJJ grabs TMOM head and slams it unto steel steps!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Three!"

Brad Blood: "Looks like UJJ is really using the steel steps to even things out."

Jim Jackson: "Looks like another Irish whip into the steel steps by UJJ! TMOM looks hurt."

Jack B. Nimble: "Four! Five!"

Brad Blood: "Still I bet you all that fat probably insulated TMOM from taking in more damage."

Jim Jackson: "UJJ drags TMOM up to the steel steps... DDT! TMOM's head just got planted into the cold unforgiving steel!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Six! Seven!"

Brad Blood: "UJJ shoves TMOM to the ground... I think he may do something crazy..."

Jim Jackson: "UJJ climbs to the top of the turnbuckles, he leaps... FLYING LEGDROP UNTO THE OUTSIDE!!! He nails TMOM right on the chest!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Eight! Nine!"

Brad Blood: "UJJ quickly enters the ring..."

Jack B. Nimble: "Ten!"

Jim Jackson: "UJJ snatches another win via count out and the score is tied at two a piece! What a match this is turning out to be. TMOM slowly gets up again and enters the ring. Both wrestlers seem tired after fifteen minutes of fighting. They lock arms and engage in a test of strength!"

Brad Blood: "Wow, despite his smaller frame, UJJ is actually holding his own against TMOM."

Jim Jackson: "TMOM is slowly pushing UJJ back... UJJ is getting pushed down to his knees... LOW BLOW BY UJJ! And TMOM falls to his knees!"

Brad Blood: "Well looks like the ref spotted UJJ's below the belt attack and is giving UJJ a warning."

Jim Jackson: "TMOM somehow recovers, he blindsides UJJ while he is still arguing with the ref! Body slam by TMOM shook the ring. TMOM stomps at UJJ angrily before picking him up... Powerslam! UJJ is down! TMOM hooks the leg to try and get another victory."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "TMOM is denied a pinfall by "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson. TMOM is not happy."

Jim Jackson: "A brutal seated powerbomb by TMOM on UJJ! The Morbidly Obese Man sends "Unstoppable Jack Johnson to the ropes, clothesline sends UJJ to the canvas! UJJ gets up only to be sent down again by a flying shoulder tackle! TMOM goes for the cover."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Again "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson was able to get a shoulder up frustrating TMOM even more!"

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man reaches in between his love handles and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles while the referee is not looking. He then busts his opponent open with the brass knuckles and discards them before the referee notices executing a sneakily morbid Love Handle Surprise!!! What a cheap shot! UJJ goes down for the count!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "TMOM snatches another pinfall after his brilliantly executed finisher! He even busted UJJ open! Haha! Look at UJJ bleed!"

Jim Jackson: "How could that be brilliant? He cheated his way to a pinfall!"

Brad Blood: "Did the referee see it? He didn't so no cheating occurred."

Jim Jackson: "Well now we have TMOM with three-two advantage over UJJ! And with UJJ busted open things may look grim for him. With only eight minutes left on the clock UJJ must find a way to turn things around if he is to stay in the game. TMOM grabs UJJ, he hits a belly to back suplex! TMOM again hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "UJJ kicks out! Bloodied and beat up, it looks like UJJ still has some life left in him."

Jim Jackson: "TMOM now applies a sleeper hold on UJJ. UJJ slips free! He hits a series of low kicks to TMOM's leg. TMOM limps from the pain, UJJ bounces off the ropes and hits a forearm into the back of TMOM's knee! TMOM falls to one knee! TMOM struggles to get back up to his feet... UJJ connects with a knee drop bulldog!"

Brad Blood: "UJJ managed to take the helm back from TMOM, the question is if he can keep it and get another pinfall to tie."

Jim Jackson: "UJJ applies a hammerlock unto TMOM but TMOM reverses it! UJJ quickly wrests free from TMOM who charges in. TMOM grabs UJJ from behind, sitout jawbreaker by UJJ sends TMOM reeling back! UJJ quickly attacks with stiff chops slowly sending the big man back. TMOM recovers and starts to counter with his own chops."

Brad Blood: "Both men are trading chops throwing caution to the wind as they chop each others' chest raw! Oh man! I think they plan to flay each others' chest with those chops."

Jim Jackson: "Eye gouge by UJJ but the ref sees it! The ref again gives UJJ a warning! TMOM recovers and charges in... UJJ ducks at the last moment and TMOM slams into the referee knocking him out! UJJ with a dropkick sends TMOM to the the corner! UJJ slips out of the ring and grabs the ring bell, he slips back into the ring..."

DING!!!

Brad Blood: "Brilliant! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson used the ring bell while the referee was down. He now quickly disposes of the ring bell just as the ref is regaining consciousness, UJJ goes for the pin."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "One cheap shot deserves another, UJJ gets his revenge and again ties the match at three all. With less than five minutes left, whoever gets the next pinfall may win this match."

Brad Blood: "Man what a main event this is, I am literally at the edge of my seat..."

Jim Jackson: "You got that right Brad, this is the perfect way to end the show, a great match between two great wrestlers. WHAT THE?!"

Brad Blood: "Three men just leaped over the steel railings and jumped into the ring... IT'S THAT OLD SPANISH GUY SR. GONZALES AND HIS BODY GUARDS!!! Didn't Marcus Troy have them evicted from the premises earlier? They must be here to mess up the show for being humiliated by Marcus!"

Jim Jackson: "Sr. Gonzales and his men have started attacking both TMOM and UJJ! The ref is calling for the bell!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, as a result of an interference, the following match has been declared a no contest!"

Jim Jackson: "Looks like the crowd ain't happy with what just happened. Sr. Gonzales leaps towards UJJ... He hits a hurricanrana sending UJJ tumbling crashing towards TMOM!"

Brad Blood: "That Gonzales sure has cohones! He now climbs to the top turnbuckle and raises his arms as the crowd starts to boo at him loudly."

Sr. Gonzalez: "DON'T MESS WITH GONZALEZ!!!"

Brad Blood: "WAIT!!! IT LOOKS LIKE TMOM AND UJJ JUST ATTACKED GONZALES' BODYGUARDS!!!"

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man shoves his opponent down unto the mat, he leaps up into the air and sits down on them with such force crushing them to the canvas and pinning them to the mat executing a morbidly horrifying Massive Sit Down!!! One bodyguard down! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson lifts the bodyguard in a military press hold. "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson then smiles as he lifts the bodyguard up and down like a weightless toy. Then "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson releases the bodyguard spinning him wildly on to the mat face first executing a brutal Impact Driver! And the second bodyguard goes down! Sr. Gonzales quickly hightails it out of the ring before both men could get their hands on him."

Brad Blood: "Man, looks like The Morbidly Obese Man and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson forgot how much they despised each other and now have Sr. Gonzales in their cross-hairs. Looks like Gonzales has opened two really big can of worms this time."

Jim Jackson: "TMOM and UJJ are the least of Gonzales' worries, Marcus Troy will certainly want payback for the disrupted main event. What a way to destroy a perfectly good show."




Jim Jackson: "What a night, what a night. We had a great show despite everything that happened."

Brad Blood: "You got that right Jim, even though the main event was interrupted, we had a great debut show all in all."

Jim Jackson: "The question is after all that happened tonight, how will it affect next week's show? Will Q seek revenge for his loss? How will Andrew Hunter react?"

Brad Blood: "Will we see Hillbilly Phil in his tighty whiteys again?"

Jim Jackson: "Come back next week to find out the answers to all these questions, until next time, this is Jim Jackson."

Brad Blood: "And this is Brad Blood, saying good night and don't let the lunacy die!"



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Allister King
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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2010   Fri Nov 05, 2010 7:06 pm

HAHA Kiss my buttocks you randy little monkeys XD no one can stop a drunk mwahaha
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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2010   

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Lucha Loco 11/06/2010
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