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 Lucha Loco 11/27/2010

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The Morbidly Obese Man
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PostSubject: Lucha Loco 11/27/2010   Fri Nov 26, 2010 8:03 pm



Jim Jackson: "Welcome wrestling fans to Lucha Loco, joining me at the announce table tonight is my partner Brad Blood."

Brad Blood: "That's right, and what a card we have for you this evening. I'm sure everyone is as excited as I am for the main event... A ten-man battle royale for the ULOL Primo Ultimo title!"

Jim Jackson: "I'm with you there Brad, ten of ULOL's finest get a chance to battle for the flagship title of ULOL! I'm sure the fans here are already eager for the show to get started so without further ado, LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!!!"






The scene opens to Stephanie Dawson walking through the long halls of the ULOL arena. She stops at a door and slowly opens it before entering stepping through. The camera follows her in. The room is filled with lockers and benches. In the corner, Alexander Conway is seen sitting in front of the T.V. Scenes of last week's Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing vs. Shogun match flash across the monitor as Stephanie moves towards Alexander.

Stephanie Dawson: "Alexander, could I get a few words regarding the battle royale tonight?"

Alexander's arm raises, the scenes of the match freezes on Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing slamming face first into the exposed turnbuckle. Alexander slowly turns to face both Stephanie and the camera.

Alexander Conway: "That depends on what questions you ask Stephanie."

Stephanie Dawson: "How do you feel about having the title decided in a battle royale?"

Alexander responds with a sneer before he responds with words.

Alexander Conway: "It's an absolutely ridiculous idea. The premier title of ULOL is being decided in a match where someone undeserving of the title can take it home. It just seems like a poor business strategy to potentially allow someone unqualified to hold the title. I mean, don't you usually want the bread winner to be the head of the federation? I would of done a tournament to be honest, at least then the very best wrestler would be the one holding the gold."

Stephanie Dawson: "That's an interesting take on things. Who would you consider to be the biggest threats in the battle royale?"

Alexander points back to the T.V.

Alexander Conway: "It should be pretty obvious by who's match I am reviewing. I think Shogun and Q will be my biggest threats out there tonight. Shogun is not only one of the strongest competitors out there, but he has an amazing championship drive. His determination to finally win a world title may just win him the day. Q on the other hand, is a very quick little man who is also rather resourceful. He's also riding a wave of fan support, which seems to motivate him to go to extraordinary lengths."

Stephanie Dawnson seems to have an uncertain look on her face.

Stephanie Dawson: "What about The Morbidly Obese Man? You don't consider him a threat?"

Alexander Conway: "Of course I do! What isn't threatening about that giant of a man? The thing is though, that his size work against him too. Every one of us in that battle royale will probably go right after him. Seriously, how the hell else are we supposed to get all that weight over the top rope? And if we do get him over, how is he going to save himself? By skinning the cat and hanging on to the top rope? Sorry, but I don't see that happening."

Stephanie nods her head with a considering look before continuing with the interview.

Stephanie Dawson: "I never thought of it like that. If size won't win this battle royale, what do you think will?"

Silence fills the locker room as Alexander considers this question. A smile spreads across his face as he begins to speak.

Alexander Conway: "Tonight, victory will not come to the biggest wrestler, the strongest wrestler, the fastest wrestler, the one with the most solid technique, or even the luckiest wrestler. Victory will come to the most crafty and resourceful wrestler, Alexander Conway. You see Stephanie, I'm not going to hesitate to wait in the corner. I'll allow the others to weaken each other, I'll pick off the weakened ones, or maybe I'll even slide out under the bottom rope. I'll do whatever I need to do to win this thing. Whether by hook or by crook, I can assure you that the "Golden Age" of ULOL will be started tonight, just as I promised on my debut."

Alexander turns back to the T.V., unpausing the match as Shogun goes to lock in his Demonic Reckoning. It is obvious by these actions that Alexander Conway considers this interview over, leaving Stephanie Dawson to slowly exit his locker room as the scene fades to black.





Brostar and Stank Lord are in there locker room talking.

Stank Lord: "What was with you last week your was suppose to help me win instead you let Goodfella escape my stink face."

Brostar: "Look I'm not a person to do your dirty work for you."

Stank Lord: "Whatever, tonight you better help me out with my match tonight plus win yours or you know what will happen."

With that said Stank Lord and Brostar head out of the locker room for Lord's upcoming match.




VS

Jim Jackson: "And our first match of the evening is about to begin. We have Brostar against Tom Lehmann."

Brad Blood: "You mean a losers match. Both men still have to get their first win here tonight. The question is who will be the loser after all this? Loserstar or Tom Lehloser?"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Brostar!"

"I Am...All of Me" by Crush 40 plays as Brostar appears on stage posing for the fans. Runs down the ramp into the ring and poses again.

Jim Jackson: "Well Brostar looks like he's ready to fight, will he end his streak of bad luck tonight?"

Brad Blood: "Well Brostar still hasn't won any matches but at least he didn't lose to a kid and a girl."

Jasmine Lee: "And introducing his opponent for the evening, Tom Lehmann!"

"Lets Drink A Beer" by Frenzal Rhomb starts playing as Tom Lehmann makes his way down to the ring with a beer in his hand.

Jim Jackson: "Well a win against Brostar tonight would erase the stigma of losing to a kid or a girl..."

Brad Blood: "Uh... Not really..."

Jim Jackson pauses for a while and rethinks his previous statement.

Jim Jackson: "Yeah not really..."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack. B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Brad Blood: "And the bell goes ding! Brostar and Lehmann circle each other cautiously first..."

Jim Jackson: "Lehmann lunges... Right into a spinning wheel kick by Brostar! Lehmann gets back up but Brostar takes him down with a Russian leg sweep! Lehmann throws a punch... Oh! Countered by a European uppercut by Brostar. Brostar trips Lehmann's leg and rolls him up."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Lehmann kicks out and quickly rolls away out of Brostars grasp. Looks like Lehmann is rethinking his strategy... That must make his head hurt..."

Jim Jackson: "Kinda like when you use your head huh?"

Brad Blood: "Yeah, kinda like when I use my... HEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!"

Jim Jackson: "A spinning kick by Lehmann lands on Brostar right on the jaw! Brostar goes down! Lehmann climbs to the top turnbuckle... Flying elbow connects! Lehmann quickly clinches in a headlock."

Brad Blood: "That looks so similar to what Stank Lord does to Brostar in a regular basis."

Jim Jackson: "Brostar powers out of the headlock. Brostar Irish whips Tom Lehmann to the ropes. Lehmann dodges a clothesline and bounces back and is sent flying through the air with a back body drop. Brostar climbs up to the top of the ring post..."

Brad Blood: "Will Brostar's star shine or will it fizzle out? Brostar leaps..."

Jim Jackson: "Brostar hits a 450 splash! Lehmann is not moving at all... Brostar wants to make sure and he again climbs up to the top turnbuckle... Moonsault connects! Brostar picks Lehmann up... Brostar kicks Tom Lehmann in the gut. He puts the Tom Lehmann's arm around his neck. Brostar lifts Tom Lehmann up in a suplex position. Then brings him back down and slams him with a sitdown Spinebuster hitting the A.O.B. The Aussie Outback Blackout!"

Brad Blood: "Lehmann is totally not moving! He's dead Jim! There's the cover..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match by pinfall, Brostar!"

Jim Jackson: "Brostar wins his first match tonight! Maybe things are finally looking up for the young man from down under. Lehmann is finally stirring..."

Brad Blood: Tsk. Shame he's still alive."






ULOL's backstage interviewer Stephanie Dawson was summoned into the office of the vice-general manager Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow. Mrs. Winslow is seated behind her oak desk with her arms folded on her chest as Stephanie enters and settles herself on the guest chair in front of the second-in-command of ULOL.

Stephanie Dawson: "You called for me ma'am?"

Mrs. Winslow looks up at the young talented reporter and nods.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Why yes Ms. Dawson, I would like to speak to you about your behavior recently. Something that puts your professionalism in question, and you of all people should know how important keeping professionalism is specially with the job you are tasked to do. Now before you deny anything let me show you something."

Mrs. Winslow picks up a remote and turns on the TV screen, a scene from last week starts airing.

Stephanie Dawson: "Well as an advance for next week. I got to give you something. You know, for good luck."

Stephanie Dawson gives a small kiss in the cheek of Taufik and Taufik is surprised about the gift he received from the beautiful Stephanie Dawson, who walked away from Taufik like a girl who has a crush on him and as Taufik heads to The Entourage locker room the scene slowly fades to black.

Mrs. Winslow turns off the television and faces the beautiful reporter once again.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Now you are a backstage interviewer and reporter Ms. Dawson, actions like this compromise your integrity as a journalist. How can you be expected to be fair and take both sides of a story if you are clearly seen favoring one side? I expected much more from you when I hired you Ms. Dawson, I am very disappointed."

Stephanie Dawson can only stare at the floor as she realized her error in judgment.

Eunice P. Winslow: "When Stank Lord attacked you, it was through us that you were able to get a lawyer to sue him. We provided you with a top lawyer free of charge, why? Because the company believed in you and your integrity. Integrity which is now in question. I expect you should be smart enough to know what to do next Ms. Dawson. This is you first and only warning. You are excused."

Stephanie Dawson can only bow her head in shame as she turns around and proceeds to exit the office of the vice-general manager.


Before Stephanie walks out of the door, she is stopped in her tracks. The British Hawk stands in front of her, he urges her back into the office. Stephanie Dawson does so, The British Hawk shuts the door behind him, he looks as if he's been crying recently and his stubble has been cleaned up. His eyes are red and he coughs loudly.

The British Hawk: "Stay in here Stephanie, Eunice. I have to talk to you and Stephanie has to hear it aswell."

Mrs. Winslow goes to speak but TBH cuts her off.

The British Hawk: "Excuse me Mrs VGM but I'd like to get straight to the point, no offence but I dislike this office. I couldn't help but over hear you're conversation with Steph just now. I think you're bang out of order."

Stephanie looks at TBH with shock, Eunice adjusts her seating postion.

The British Hawk: "I think it's bang out of order that Stephanie can't have a relationship whether it'll be one with a wrestler or the local junkie. Have you noticed that Stephanie doesnt break off or giggles as such when she does her other interviews? No. She doesn't so as far as professsionalism is concered she is nailing it right now."

Stephanie smiles a little, Eunice leans back on her chair keen on listening for now.

The British Hawk: "You see I had a relationship, with a vice-general manager in the last fed I was in. Marcus didnt have a problem with it and neither did anyone else so why is this scenario any different. I mean Marcus is still the same douchebag of a general manager so why don't you ask for his opinion on this? After all you're only the VGM."

TBH wipes his eyes as he awaits the VGM to reply.


Mrs. Winslow looks at the wrestler standing before her. Once one of the top talents in the world that commanded main event status now reduced to a mere opener.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Your opinion is noted but my decision still stands Mr, Hawk. Having a relationship between a person in Ms. Dawson's position and a member of the roster is totally unacceptable. How would you feel if the audience feel that she is siding towards Taufik? I'm sure many already think that way, her giving Taufik more air time. As for your relationship with your former vice-general manager, that is a poor decision on both your parts."

Mrs. Winslow eyes both Stephanie and The British Hawk before continuing.

Eunice P. Winslow: "I do not want to bring it up but look at the results of your romance Mr. Hawk, you cannot even win against opponents who you could have dominated easily two months ago. I will not recant my decision, I am not against romance in the work place but given the job of Ms. Dawson, it is ill-advised to continue here tryst with Taufik. If you have any complaints, then take it up with Marcus Troy, only he can reverse my decision. Now I am a busy woman and time is ticking, I believe both of you know the way out."

Unsuccessful in their plea, The British Hawk and Stephanie Dawson leaves the VGM office as the scene fades to black.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/27/2010   Fri Nov 26, 2010 8:04 pm



We open on Bloodflame walking down the hallway, still taking in all the changes that have occurred since he was here before. He turns as he hears someone approach from behind him. It's Stephanie Dawson, the new backstage interviewer. She seems intent on catching up to him, so he pauses. As she comes closer, she raises the microphone to her lips.

Stephanie Dawson: "Bloodflame, I was wondering if I could get a few words with you on the comments we just heard from one Lucian Blackheart in the ring."

Bloodflame looks at her for a moment and grins before replying. It was refreshing to have an interviewer who actually asked questions. Well, considering the last ULOL interviewer he had to deal with was a mime, it was just refreshing to have an interviewer who actually spoke.

Bloodflame: "Sure, why not? Yeah, I heard the little turd running his mouth. This 'old-timer' can still run rings around you, little man. Hmm, if I remember correctly there was another little worm who used to be here named Blackheart. A wannabe vampire. Last anyone saw him, he was getting ass-raped with a wooden stake, courtesy of yours truly. Get the picture?"

Bloodflame looks directly into the camera, grinning evilly.

Bloodflame: "I believe you also mentioned something about hearts, boy? The only heart you need to worry about is your own. Because I fully intend to rip it out and eat it, while it's still beating.

He looks over at Stephanie and smirks at the slightly fearful expression on her face.

Bloodflame: "Now, if you'll excuse me, miss. I have some business to attend to..."

With that, Bloodflame turns and walks away and the scene fades to black.





Scene opens inside a locker room, The locker room is sort of untidy as there are clothes that look like they have been thrown onto the bench, like a unwanted chocolate bar being thrown into the bin. There are also 2 dumbbells placed side by side on the floor. Then a topless and well built young man comes into view. He is drinking a bottle of water and he grabs a towel from the bench and wipes it across his face.

He drops the towel and looks at the camera, a few fans can be heard cheering and women wolf whistling and screaming in affection, faintly. He quickly piles his clothes together and folds them into a black gym bag. He then puts his dumbbells away.


"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Hello Lard Ass, what do you want?.

The camera quickly pans towards the door in which TMOM squeezes himself through. He is smiling.


The ultra-heavyweight wrestler known as The Morbidly Obese Man bounces into "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson's locker room and stops short in front of his rival...

The Morbidly Obese Man: "So Johnson, have you thought about my proposition last week? I'm sure you will see all the advantages in it. We may hate each other's guts but we both know once we team up, we will dominate the tag division."

The Morbidly Obese Man pauses in thought before continuing.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "But of course our partnership will have nothing to do with the singles division. So concerning the battle royale for the title later, don't expect me to go easy on you. In fact since I know what you are capable of, I'll be taking you out first... I know that you're thinking of the same thing... Partner."

The Morbidly Obese Man grins widely while staring right into the eyes of "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson.


UJJ chuckles a little before answering.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Funny, I was just on my way over to your locker room. To tell you the exact same thing. Truth is I have thought about your proposition. But let's face facts, I can easily dominate the tag division on my own, however I wont be able to capture the tag titles. So I will tag with you."

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "But as for the battle royale, you honestly think that you can eliminate me?! Well I've got news for you TMOM. When the smoke clears at the bell rings for the end of the match. I will be holding that title above my head, then I'll place it around this waist. I will become the err Primo Ultimo Champion. So good luck, you're gonna need it.


UJJ walks towards the door, slapping TMOM lightly on the face before leaving out of the door. Leaving the big guy alone.




VS

Jim Jackson: "Next match we have Roe Kai going against Andrew Hunter. Hunter lost his previous match against Lucian Blackheart, can he overcome the MMA superstar Roe Kai tonight?"

Brad Blood: "Well if he loses this it will be his third straight loss since his debut here in ULOL. And with that his value is sure to drop."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match0 scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, here's Andrew Hunter!"

"New Divide" by Linkin Park blasts through the arena. Andrew Hunter appears on the top of the ramp, straightening out his elbow pads. He smiles as he begins walking down the ramp. Andrew slaps the hands of the fans on his left, followed by the fans on his right. He slides underneath the ropes and quickly bounces back up, jumping up on a turnbuckle.

Jim Jackson: "Well Hunter seems energetic as usual in his entrance."

Brad Blood: "Hopefully he can use the same energy to try and get a win."

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for tonight, Roe Kai!"

An image of Roe Kai appears on the ULOL Tron and it starts showing him doing some light training. The scene shifts and we see Roe Kai answering to some questions about his opponent tonight to an unknown interviewer. The lights go dim and music starts playing on the speakers as Roe Kai makes his way from the back and into the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Roe Kai strolls into the ring with dominance."

Brad Blood: "He's oozing with confidence Jim."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble, LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "There's the bell! Both wrestlers engage! Hard legsweep by Kai. Hunter quickly gets up and walks into a lariat. Hunter blocks a kick from Roe Kai and he counters... Big kick on Kai by Andrew Hunter."

Brad Blood: "Whoa! He actually stunned Roe Kai with that kick!"

Jim Jackson: "Flying elbow from Andrew Hunter connects, he hooks the leg for the cover... No! Roe Kai kicks out before the ref can even get down to the canvas! Hunter hits a suplex on Kai! He again goes for the cover."

Jack B. Nimble: "One..."

Brad Blood: "Only a one there. Hunter needs to do more damage."

Jim Jackson: "Hunter punts Roe Kai in the head! He goes for an elbow drop... HE MISSES! Kai quickly gets up and floors Hunter with a brutal elbow to the jaw! Hunter drops like a log."

Brad Blood: "I thought I heard a sonic boom when that elbow connected. I think I see Andrew's eyes roll up for a moment. Oh! Kai goes for the cover."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Andrew Hunter gets a shoulder up. Irish whip by Roe Kai sends Hunter to the corner... Hunter slams into the turnbuckles and bounces back out right into Roe Kai's neckbreaker! Roe Kai hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Hunter barely has the strength to kick out, where is the energy he had in his entrance?"

Jim Jackson: "Andrew Hunter hits the canvas hard with a butterfly suplex from Kai. Hunter gets back up but it looks like his legs are a little wobbly... He walks right into a stiff lariat clothesline by Kai!"

Brad Blood: "Ooh, that left a mark. It's like Kai branded him."

Jim Jackson: "Hunter slowly gets back to his feet, hip toss by Roe Kai somehow blocked and reversed! Hunter hits a suplex on Kai! This may be his chance to turn things around."

Brad Blood: "Hunter climbs to the top of the ring post. This could go either very well or very badly. I really hope for very badly, I love it every time these wrestlers go for high risk moves and fail, it's like kicking yourself on the nuts."

Jim Jackson: "Flying elbow connects! Hunter quickly hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Kai denies Hunter the win!"

Jim Jackson: "Hunter throws a big right but is easily dodged by Roe Kai. Back suplex on Hunter connects. Kai lifts Hunter up and drops his throat right on the ropes!"

Brad Blood: "Hunter is clutching his throat in pain but Kai doesn't let up."

Jim Jackson: "Roe Kai goes down on Hunter and mounts him..."

Brad Blood: "Snicker snicker..."

Jim Jackson: "Oh get your dirty mind out of the gutter Brad. Roe Kai gets and full mount on Andrew Hunter and he starts pounding away! Hunter cannot do anything to defend! He bucks his hips wildly."

Brad Blood: "WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Jim Jackson: "I think it's over! Hunter just went limp! Roe Kai goes for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr...!"

Brad Blood: "That lucky sonnuvagun... All that bucking made Hunter's leg land on the bottom rope!"

Jim Jackson: "Roe Kai gets up and pulls Hunter away from the ropes, he locks in an ankle lock! Hunter screams in pain! Will Hunter tap? WAIT!!! Andrew Hunter twists his body around and uses the other leg to kick Kai off of him! Kai stumbles backwards towards the ropes... Hunter gets up, he hits a dropkick!"

Brad Blood: "Looks like Hunter is getting second wind. I really thought he was done for."

Jim Jackson: "Roe Kai gets up and pulls Hunter away from the ropes, he locks in an ankle lock! Hunter screams in pain! Will Hunter tap? WAIT!!! Andrew Hunter twists his body around and uses the other leg to kick Kai off of him! Kai stumbles backwards towards the ropes... Hunter gets up, he hits a dropkick!"

Brad Blood: "I think Hunter is going to fly... He slowly climbs to the top turnbuckle... ROE KAI GETS UP AND TRIPS HIM ON THE LEG!!! HUNTER FALLS ON HIS NUTS!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Roe Kai quickly gets up in front of Hunter and attempts to superplex him... Hunter fights back landing body shots to Kai. Hunter shoves Kai off of the ropes! Hunter leaps... SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! Hunter hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Roe Kai kicks out of that one! It looks like Hunter is on a roll..."

Jim Jackson: "Irish whip sends Roe Kai to the ropes... Hunter bounces after him... Running bulldog plants Kai to the mat! Hunter leaps unto the ropes... Springboard leg drop smashes into Kai's torso! Andrew Hunter for the cover..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Roe Kai gets a shoulder up just before the three count! Hunter cannot believe it."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the contest via pinfall... Roe Kai!"

Jim Jackson: "Hunter tries to send Roe Kai to the ropes with an Irish whip... REVERSAL! Roe Kai reverses and it's Hunter who is sent to the ropes. Hunter grabs on to the ropes to stop himself from bouncing back... Roe Kai charges in and leaps..."

Brad Blood: "Andrew Hunter pulls down the top rope and Roe Kai goes over and crashes to the outside!"

Jim Jackson: "Hunter runs towards the ropes... He leaps in-between the ropes and takes Roe Kai down! The crowd goes wild!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One!"

Brad Blood: "Hunter grabs Kai by the hair and drags him up to his feet..."

Jim Jackson: "A shot to the liver stops Andrew Hunter! Enzuigiri by Kai connects!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Two!"

Brad Blood: "Looks like Kai drags Hunter until he lines him up with the steel steps..."

Jim Jackson: "Irish whip sends Hunter crashing to the steps!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Three!"

Brad Blood: "It seems Hunter is hurt. Roe Kai grabs Hunter but Hunter breaks away!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Four!"

Jim Jackson: "Roe Kai blocks a punch from Andrew Hunter and lands a few punches of his own!"

Brad Blood: "WHOA!!! I think he may have broken Hunter's nose. Look at that blood gushing."

Jack B. Nimble: "Five!"

Jim Jackson: "Hunter somehow blocks Kai's next strike and counters with a series of stiff chops!"

Brad Blood: "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Six!"

Jim Jackson: "Both men start trading punches! It's an all out brawl as both men throw caution to the wind!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man, the faces of both wrestlers are starting to look like ground meat!!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Seven!"

Jim Jackson: "Roe Kai throws an uppercut which sends Hunter backwards unto the steel railings! Roe Kai leaps with an elbow..."

Brad Blood: "Hunter dodges! Kai's elbow hits the steel railings! Now that has got to hurt."

Jack B. Nimble: "Eight!"

Jim Jackson: "Hunter realizes the time and tries to make his way back to the ring."

Brad Blood: "Roe Kai grabs on to Hunter!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Nine!"

Jim Jackson: "Hunter gets floored by a stiff clothesline! Roe Kai leaps to the ring apron..."

Brad Blood: "Hunter grabs on to Roe Kai's leg and pulls him back down!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Ten!"

Jim Jackson: "The referee is calling for the bell!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest has been declared a draw due to a double count out!"

Brad Blood: "A DRAW?!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Well it seems that both fighters were unwilling to give up, though no one won, no one lost either... This opens up a possibility of a rematch in the near future."






The first thing we see is fire and smoke consuming a building. It is quickly apparent that a riot is in progress. People are shouting as they gather around the burning building, many carrying sticks and stones.

The reporter who appeared in a news article several days ago, is seen at the scene of the burning.


Reporter: "This fire you see is just one of several that have broken out across this town, after these people witnessed the defeat of their hero, the man who calls himself Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. They had been very plain in their belief that Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing would prevail against his opponent, known as Shogun. But that wasn't the case. Shogun pulled some shady moves, and won the match."

The reporter quickly steps aside, as several angry people walk by him.

Rioter: [To hell with Shogun!]

The reporter is about to continue his broadcast, but his eyes go wide with alarm when he spots someone walking straight towards him, carrying a big knife. The man appears Oriental, and very distressed.

Man: "You are reporter?"

Reporter: "Yes sir."

The man raises his knife slightly. The news crew promptly back away. This only seems to further agitate the man.

Man: "Why you look at me like that? I do nothing to you."

Reporter: "Maybe...you should put the knife down, sir."

Man: "See fire over there? That fire burning my business!"

The flames rise up behind him. By now, other bystanders have noticed the man.

Man: "I work hard, try to be good at my business. Now it is gone! Shogun took it away from me! Look! Look!"

He points to the building. We can make out the SHOGUN on the signage of the now burning building.

Man: "All my work is gone, because of Shogun! He robbed Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing! And he robbed me!"

Reporter: "Sir, maybe we can help you air your grievance. You can put the knife down, and we can go talk somewhere."

Man: "All I WANT SAY IS DAMN YOU SHOGUN! YOU RUINED ME! EVERYTHING I WORKED FOR IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU NOT EVEN JAPANESE! YOU FAIL TRY DOING TOM CRUISE LAST SAMURAI! I HATE YOU!"

The very agitated man raises his knife threateningly, then stabs himself in the stomach.

Reporter: "Sir! Someone help this man!"

Blood violently pours from his wound as the man tries to rip the knife across his stomach. The feed is abruptly cut.

We now find ourselves in a hotel, where we find a masked man, horrified at what he has just seen.

Quioaecaopedidawzahzhing: [FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...]






An old model Green Dodge Challenger appeared in the parking lot of the United League of Lunatics building. The man behind the wheel is unfamiliar as he is wearing a pair of sunglasses. The car stops deeply in the parking lot. A-ha's “Take on me” is being played in a car. He turns off the music and prepares to leave his car, he slowly opens the door and puts his feet on the ground. He removes his sunglasses and throws stuffs it in his jacket pocket as he looks around. He closes the door and stands there for a while as it seems like he’s waiting for somebody. This guy looks athletic even if his height and weight looks small and short. One thing makes him stand out is his hairstyle which looks like it is a carbon copy from television series called renegade, like the twin of actor Lorenzo Lamas but smaller. His cellphone starts to ring and he answers...

Felix Schwarz : "Okay sir, I understand, I will start informing you the news, as soon as I get some info. Now I have to go to check out this area. Felix out."

Felix checks if someone is around in a parking lot, but it seems like he is the only one standing. He starts to walk and enters the building as a scene fades away.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/27/2010   Fri Nov 26, 2010 8:05 pm



Scene opens outside a huge mansion, with neatly trimmed bushes and a fountain in the middle of the driveway. The camera takes a swift tour of the outside showing very expensive cars and various sprinklers are circling each other, hydrating the freshly mown grass. The scene cuts inside the mansion where we see a family sitting in front of a wide screen plasma T.V hanging proudly on the wall. There is small boy wearing his pajamas with space rockets on it, he is holding a bowl of popcorn in his hands. There are two larger people, one woman and one man sitting on a couch both in their dressing gowns. They are obviously a mother and father of the small boy. The father grabs the remote and switches the channel and we see the ULOL show.

A woman walks in and sits on the couch, she is a lot bigger than the small boy and just smaller than the parents. She is a very recognizable figure, Lady Bianca de Sade.


Lady Bianca de Sade: "Charlie, pass me the popcorn please."

Charlie doesn't comply and he sticks his tongue out at her. Lady B looks at him in disgust.

Lady de Sade: "Charlie! Give her the bowl now!"

Charlie: "Oh fine but you better give it back!"

Charlie passes the bowl to Lady B reluctantly. Lady B smiles sarcastically at him. Charlie starts blowing raspberries at her.

Lord de Sade: "Stop it you two! I'm trying to watch the damn show! The four corners match is on now!"

The family's face lights up as 'Get Ready to Fly' starts blaring over the arena. Charlie starts jumping around on the spot. Lady B starts covering her face and the two parents smile as The British Hawk makes his entrance The match starts and the family quietly watch the match.

That is until The British Hawk starts to botch some of his moves. Charlie looks on in shock. The parents look bemused. Lady B does look in shock but then she looks away and frowns. The match ends with TBH losing. Charlie jumps up from the couch and starts to hit Lady B.


Charlie: "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!! TBH WAS AN AWESOME GUY AND THE COOLEST WRESTLER EVER! THEN YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM AND YOU'RE THE REASON HE CAN'T DO HIS AWESOME MOVES ANYMORE!!!"

With saying that, Charlie storms out of the room and goes upstairs. A door slammed closed. Mr. de Sade also leaves and goes upstairs to check on his son, leaving Lady B and her mother alone. A tears start to form in Lady B's eyes. Mrs. de Sade moves in closer and puts her arm around Lady B's.

Lady de Sade: "You miss him don't you."

Lady B nods slowly.

Lady Bianca de Sade: "Yes I do miss him, I...I-I cry at night because I miss him so much and I see him in my dreams all the time. B-But I can't take him back. Not after w-what he d-done to me."

Lady de Sade: "Well he obviously misses you too. Everyone can see that. He's putting you in front of everything else, he obviously can't concentrate on his wrestling nor his appearance by the looks of things."

Lady de Sade pulls Lady B in for a hug. Lady B lets out a little sob.

Lady de Sade: "Hey. Sometimes the best things in life are worth fighting for, and in your case. Giving another chance."

Lady Bianca de Sade: "I-I don't know I-if I can. I don't want him to hurt me again."

Lady de Sade- "You don't know that he hurt you in the first place, besides if he did then he'd be a fool if he were to hurt you again. Now come on, lets get you into bed. Have a decent night sleep."

The two get up and Lady de Sade hugs her daughter again, before leaving out of the room and proceeding upstairs. The scene fades to black.




VS

Nicky walks out as "Original Prankster" starts up, crossing his arms and giving a big grin. He then runs down to the ring at full speed and jumps, baseball sliding under the ropes. If the opponent is already in the ring, he blows a raspberry at them, before jumping back into his starting position. If he's the first in the ring, he'll grin again and moon the crowd, before sitting in the turnbuckle smugly.

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is for one fall! Introducing first, already in the ring, Nicky!"

"This stinks" plays as Stank Lord appears on stage, accompanied by his minion Brostar. The Stank Lord looks around him then walks down the ramp and into the ring, he poses for the fans while Brostar stands between him and Nicky.

Jasmine Lee: "His opponent, accompanied by Brostar, here is the Stank Lord!"

Jim Jackson: "Stank Lord and Nicky both coming off losses from last week's show. Both competitors are eager to get some momentum back."

Brad Blood: "Or we could have a draw or double disqualification."

Jim Jackson: "There's the bell, and Nicky quickly charging at Stank Lord with a running high knee! Stank Lord manages to duck, but he misses an attempted clothesline! Nicky manages to sweep Stank Lord's legs out from under him! Nicky with stomp to Stank Lord!"

Brad Blood: "Nicky making the most of his speed advantage here. He's just darting around, hitting the Stank Lord with a hit here and there, then backing off quickly before he can grab him."

Jim Jackson: "Nicky ducks another punch from the Stank Lord! Two handed chop to the Stank Lord's chest! But Stank Lord manages to grab him! Throws him into the corner!"

Brad Blood: "And Nicky just ducks through the ropes before the Stank Lord can connect! He shoots through the ropes with a nasty spear to the Stank Lord! The Stank Lord not really being able to use his size advantage here. If anything, Nicky's turned it against him. He could be distracted with Stephanie's lawsuit."

Jim Jackson: "Nicky goes for the cover, but Stank Lord quickly throws him off! Stank Lord certainly not having an easy time here. I hear Stephanie's got really good lawyers on her team."

Brad Blood: "The money she's suing Stank Lord for is probably gonna bankrupt him. He may have to keep doing those stinky match challenges for the rest of his life just to pay it off."

Jim Jackson: "He may have to let Brostar go just to save on money."

Brad Blood: "I don't think he's paying Brostar ANYTHING right now...oh Brostar is trying to get in the ring!"

Jim Jackson: "The referee ordering Brostar to back down! Nicky's climbing up the corner, getting ready for a big aerial attack! The referee still able to see all the action!"

Brad Blood: "The Stank Lord grabs the ropes to throw Nicky off-balance!" The official looked like he was expecting the Stank Lord to pull some sneaky trick! But he didn't!"

Jim Jackson: "No he didn't! Stank Lord's attack is legal, and Nicky's stunned on the mat! The Stank Lord FARTS in Nicky's face! Nicky's gagging uncontrollably!"

Brad Blood: "He's turning greenish yellow! He's...breaking out in hives!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of the match, by pinfall, the Stank Lord!"

Brad Blood: "I think that, while Jack B. Nimble was able to stay focused on what was going on in the ring, Nicky was the one who got distracted by Brostar! He didn't react in time to the Stank Lord shaking the ropes!"

Jim Jackson: "That looks to be the case! Stank Lord picking up an important win here to snap his losing streak, thanks to Brostar!"

Brad Blood: "That's one way of looking at it. But remember, if Brostar didn't get himself pinned by the Entourage, the Stank Lord wouldn't be worrying a losing streak in the first place!"

The Stank Lord demands Brostar raise his hand in victory. Brostar does so, all the while covering his nose so he would not have to smell the noxious flatulence still heavy in the ring.






A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals blasts though the arena speakers ans the lights begin to flash on and off. As the lyrics begin Shogun bursts from behind the curtains with fire erupting from the ramp beside him. Shogun begins to make his way to the ring with a look of pure intensity on his face. as he makes it to the ring he runs up and rolls into the ring the expression on his face unchanged. Shogun picks up a mic and begins to speak.

Shogun: "Last week I defeated one man...the prize was pride. This week however I fight for a higher calling against not one opponent but 9. The prize is the biggest of them all. The Primo Ultimo title...my first world championship."

Shogun stares up at the lights as he speaks.

Shogun: "Tonight I will finally realize my destiny by winning my first world championship and plunging this federation into darkness...MY darkness! The everlasting darkness that will haunt this place until its eventual destruction!"

Shogun: "For to long I have dwelt in obscurity while false heroes stood in the spotlight to receive their false glory and love from fans around the world! Well tonight that will change! Tonight The Demonic God will take over and prove that no matter how hard they try no false hero will EVER rise up to stop me!"


The crowd boos loudly at Shogun.

Shogun: "Boo all you want the results will not change! I am the BEST wrestler in the WORLD and tonight I will have the gold to prove it! ULOL get ready because the nightmare is about to begin...9 souls will be sacrificed in my quest for glory tonight. 9 weaklings who have no idea who they will be stepping into the ring with. 9 fools who think they have a chance at victory tonight!"

Shogun laughs loudly at this

Shogun: "Prepare yourselves for the fight of your lives! Prepare for the greatest loss of your respective careers because there is NO way that I will lose tonight I cannot afford to lose again! Tonight I will win! Tonight I will triumph! TONIGHT I will begin your eternal nightmare!"

Shogun drops the mic and begins to leave the ring

As Shogun was walking up the ramp, Sr. Gonzalez face appeared in the Titantron. The crowd begins to boo as they see him. He starts talking, without noticing Shogun is still there

Sr. Gonzalez: "Hello everybody, you all probably know who I am by now. Anyways, I've noticed I've been picked to participate in a 10 men battle royal for the PRIMO ULTIMO TITLE! Does anybody here have any idea of what does that mean? Primo Ultimo? Last cousin? Cousin Last? That doesn't really make sense."

The people boo at his senseless jabbering.

Sr. Gonzalez: "But I do know that that title, is the world title. And I want it. And as you have been able to see, I always get what I want. ALWAYS! And none of you, or the other 9 people, will do ANYTHING to stop me! Understood?"

Gonzalez smiles at the booing crowd. They just boo everybody, don't they?

Smoke and Mirror started playing as the fans who are expecting to see Taufik in person are disappointed as Taufik appears on the ULOL Tron instead. The screen splits to half showing Taufik and half showing Sr. Gonzalez. He is looking at a mirror admiring himself before turning to the camera and begins speaking.

Taufik: "I hope that I don't disappoint you my dashers. I know you all want to see my dashing persona but I'm not going out there yet as I am still going to prepare myself as for the greatest match of The Dashing One's career. And in that match I, The Dashing One will eliminate both of you. I shall wipe both of your so ugly and oily faces to the floor."

Taufik pauses and fixes his hair before continuing.

Taufik: "I heard you mention something about eternal nightmare, Shogun? Well once I win this match, You don't need to start your eternal nightmare for what shall begin is a "Dashing" era. That's right, I will make the world a "Dashing" place, eliminating one ugly person at a time."

Taufik's fans start cheering and shouting Dashing!!! Dashing!!! Dashing!!! as the fans agree to what Taufik's says as he awaits for the both men to reply.


THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!

The behemoth of a wrestler also known as The Morbidly Obese Man makes his way from the audience section and over the steel railings. He picks up a mic from ringside and then enters the ring.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Well it seems that this battle royale have pulled all types of characters out of the woodwork. We have Shogun who calls himself a Demonic God, well tough luck Shogun, I'm an atheist and I don't believe in gods. We have a yapping noisy spoiled rich old fogey Sr. Gonzalez who looks like he's about to break a hip trying to be hip. And finally we have a little girl who plays make-up in front of a mirror, Taufik... Seriously you guys think you can get me over the top rope? I would like to see you all try."

The crowd chuckles loudly at The Morbidly Obese Man's statement. He holds up his hand and the crowd silences.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "I hear all of you yapping, Shogun, we've never really faced each other before but I tell you this, between the two of us the one who knows best how to dish out an eternal nightmare is yours truly, not you. Gonzalez, every time you come on, you whine and whine and whine, I bet everyone here is tired of your whining and complaining, you're not happy with how the title is named, then drop out of the match, I mean you probably will get your scrawny little ass eliminated in the first few minutes anyway. And finally Taufik... Stop being so... What's that word again? Oh yes... GAY!"

The crowd erupts in laughter at the big man's description of Taufik.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "While we are preparing for the match of our careers, you sit there preparing for a beauty pageant, Miss Congeniality! Of all of us out here today, it is you who is the biggest joke, so why don't you go home before you break a nail and cry like a girl... Seriously, all three of you are just singing the same old tune I've heard others sing, the same old cliche but don't worry, after the end of the battle royale and as I hold the Primo Ultimo title up in the air, all of you shall be singing another tune."

The Morbidly Obese Man drops the mic and exits the ring. He goes over the steel barricade and exits through the crowd.

THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!


But before TMOM could leave, "Papercut" by Linkin Park starts to blare over the arena. The fans cheer loudly as the unstoppable one himself enters the arena, he walks down the ramp with mic in hand. He rolls into the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, the fans cheer even louder. He climbs down and looks at his battle royale opponents, smiling. The music fades and UJJ begins to speak.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Well Lard ass over there pretty much covered the 'make fun out of each over' but there are a few other things I can say about one particular wrestler out here who says that he will take me out of the royale purely because I disrespected their dear old manager. Taufik. I admire your courage, determination and your damn stupidity. I mean you're delusional. You honestly think that you can throw me over the top rope? Well you're wrong. Another thing, you call yourself dashing? Who the he'll uses the word dashing? The only thing dashing about you is how fast you dash over the top rope in our match."

The fans chuckle as Tau looks on in anger.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Dashing. Hehe, but seriously if me and you were to have a competition on who was better looking, I think we both know who'd win that one."

Females in the crowd can be heard whistling and cheering loudly. Taufik looks on angrier and angrier.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "But what's next Taufik? What will you become when you drop your phony gimmick? Will you start to come out and create the newest electrifying move in sports entertainment? Or will you start a stable and call it The Tauxus? Ok enough bullying Taufik. I'm here to correct everyone here. You see none of you will win the err whatever it's called title, because I will win it."

The fans cheer in agreement.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I am the better wrestler out of all of, the better wrestler in the business. So don't be a disappointed when you guys get thrown over the top rope and crash onto the floor below."

The fans cheer as "Papercut" by Linkin Park resumes playing. UJJ looks at his opponents and rolls out of the ring and proceeds up the ramp and leaves behind the curtain.


Taufik, looking at UJJ as he leaves as he not angry as UJJ stated. He thought for a second of what to say next

Taufik: "Hmm Unstoppable eh, I wonder how unstoppable can you be? Are you so unstoppable that you can't even stop humping the chair, because you can't get a date with that oily face and hair? Are you that unstoppable that you can't stop eliminating yourself in battle royal without any help from us? I guess you always do that in any battle royal, title match or no title match. I wonder that the other time you called us out, you were setting us up for an introduction to you big guy that filled with lard named The Morbidly Obese Man? I guess you wanna introduced TMOM as your date for the night or maybe life-long partner right? You think you're so smart saying that I will make the most electrifying move in sport entertainment or having a group called Tauxes?? How lame can you get? UJJ, here's a newsflash for you man, you will never be or better than The Entourage. And no matter what after tonight, you will never be champion. And I can assure you that because it will be in my soft skins hands."

The fans is giggling away to what Taufik says about UJJ as he talks and he was off the ULOL Tron screen.


Unexpectedly the big video screen cuts to the back. We see someone walking down the hall. The fans in attendance burst into cheers and lustful screams, as they realize who it is.

It is none other than the superskilled suavester of the squared circle, the masked marvel known to one and all as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello, my lovely legions of loquacious and lustful fans!"

A near orgasmic cry is their response.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I must thank Mr. Marcus Troy for making the right decision to make these fans happy! And that is to give me the great opportunity to test my mettle against nine other hungry challengers to become the Primo Ultimo Champion!"

The cheers get louder.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "There are so many customers to fight! The last time I fought the Morbidly Obese Man, I got lost between his armpit and his nipple, because they did not give me a sherpa to help me climb off his hairy back! But this time, I am ready for you!"

Two men, reporters who happen to be Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's countrymen, suddenly appear, giving him a pair of hiking boots, a North Face jacket, and mountain climbing rope.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I see you, Taufik! And I look forward to wrestling you again! I know you like how you look! I know you like everyone to have their eyes on you! When we come to blows in this battle royale, I will see to it that each and every camera in the building will get a good look at your pretty face and body, shaking and writhing in the agony and the ecstasy that only a world-class pounding can provide to the very heart and core of your dashing self!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's pumps his arms, as if showing off to Taufik. Several women and men faint when they hear the masked marvel's words.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Taufik, I will see to it that you are left breathless, sweaty, reeling and wasted from the sheer exertion that can happen only when you receive a pounding that only the best that can give!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing gives one more superhero bodybuilder pose, earning another round of frenzied shrieking from the fans. He then turns his attention on the man who started this parade of promos.

The man he wrestled just last week.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I hear your anger, Shogun! I hear your threats! I hear your promises to plunge the ULOL into darkness and raging mad devil goat sex! I have also heard it all before! From someone else! A few months ago!"

Q's countrymen suddenly appear again, rolling out posters of two wrestlers. One who has returned to ULOL, the other unknown to those not watching the first run of the league.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I have only just realized that you are only a carbon copy! With no original personality whatsoever! You just watched the shows these two competed in! And copied everything!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing points to the posters, one of them is ULOL returnee, Bloodflame.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I have seen and fought your kind before, Shogun! I cannot help it, because there are so many of you running around! You think you are the only chosen one, but you are really just another McDonald's franchise! You pay the franchise money! They give you your demon goat chicken sex worhshipper uniform, the name plate, and the Dummy's Guide on How to Be A Devil Chicken Goat Gerbil Sex Offender on Just $5 a Day!"

Brad Blood: "He just said...never mind."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I do not think you even thought this whole thing through clearly enough! You think you are going to have fun being the one to plunge the ULOL into darkness and despair! But if everyone becomes miserable just like you, then you are no longer special! You, Shogun, will just be ANOTHER chicken hamster devil pineapple sex fiend in a huge CROWD of chicken hamster devil pineapple sex fiends! When people think of devil worshippers after you win, they will not think of you at all! Because everyone will also be a devil worshipper!"

Brad Blood: "He said that again."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I have to apologize to the rest, for I do not have enough time to talk about each and every one of you! I will, however, make up for it when we have our match! I will do my utmost to make each of you part of my ongoing highlight reel of highlight reels! And that is something that will make my legions of loyal fans very happy!"

They cheer wildly for him. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing winks at Taufik as the big video screen once again shows the wrestlers in the ring.






We find the world-famous manager Manolo Ferrer with ULOL's Stephanie Dawson, getting ready for a quick interview. Mr. Ferrer, as always, is decked out in a very expensive-looking suit.

Stephanie Dawson: "Mr. Ferrer, thank you for taking the time to do this interview. Your client, Taufik, is part of the 10-man battle royale for the ULOL Primo Ultimo title. What do you rate his chances of winning the match, and the championship?"

Manolo Ferrer: "I would say he's got a very good chance, Ms. Dawson. He is very eager to make his mark in the United League of Lunatics, and we've been preparing for this ever since Marcus Troy made the announcement."

Stephanie Dawson: "Aside from your man, who else do you think has a very good chance of winning the battle royale?"

Mr. Ferrer shrugs slightly.

Manolo Ferrer: "I can imagine Raven Connoly and Nao Fook Mi would be considered as having no chance of winning this match, because they'll be taking on eight men. That means they can be totally underestimated by everybody else, giving them more of a chance to win the title than they perhaps would have, if they were male."

Stephanie Dawson: "That's an interesting take on it. We also have "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson in the battle royale. You had a confrontation with him earlier about his challenging the Entourage to a handicap match."

Manolo Ferrer: "Yes, and he's got himself a tag team partner, who is also in the battle royale. Should be interesting to see how the dynamic between those two plays itself out."

Stephanie Dawson: "You don't seem all that worried about him. Now that he's teaming with the Morbidly Obese Man, he could be challenging the Entourage in tag matches, too."

Manolo Ferrer: "Then we will cross that bridge when we get there."

Manolo Ferrer reaches into his pocket, pulling out a cellphone.

Manolo Ferrer: "I'm sorry. I've got to take this call."

Stephanie Dawson: "That's all right. Are the Entourage going to do their interview?"

Manolo Ferrer: "Yes, I think they're headed this way in a few minutes."

Mr. Ferrer answers the phone call as he walks away.

Manolo Ferrer: "Yes, Carl. How's the training going?"


Taufik and Arnold suddenly appeared, they have a word with Mr. Manolo before heading to Stephanie Dawson. Stephanie Dawson quickly readies herself for The Entourage's turn for their interview.

Stephanie Dawson: "Thanks for coming Entourage. We can begin your interview."

Stephanie asks the cameraman to get ready, the cameraman positions himself and the interview begins.

Stephanie Dawson: "I'm here with The Entourage. Earlier on, we just heard from their manager Mr. Manolo Ferrer, and now we get to hear their thoughts and answers to some questions. Let us begin with you 'Dashing' Taufik. What do you think of your chances in the Battle Royale for the ULOL Primo Ultimo Championship?"

Taufik: "Well Stephanie, I love to see that gold around my perfectly shaped abs. I have been training the whole week and of course. I took good care of my body and as you can see it is as perfect as ever. I will not let this chance go to waste, that belt is as good as mine. UJJ, after you disrespect our manager of greatness, Mr. Manolo Ferrer, you better watch your back, because I'm coming after you. Messing with Mr. Ferrer is the same as messing with me. In the battle royale, I'll be eliminating you and that Big Tub Of Lard that you call partner, even he will not be spared. In fact to make both of you feel better after I eliminate you both, here's a body scrubber, so you both can scrubs all that black spots away from each others' bodies. Once this match over and done with, I will be the 'Dashing' ULOL Primo Ultimo Campeón."

Stephanie Dawson: "Okay, thanks for the strong words. That was a "Dashing" statement from a "Dashing" man. And now Arnold, What are your thoughts on facing the new comer Felix Schwarz?"

Stephanie points her microphone to Arnold's mouth and waits for him to reply.


Manolo Ferrer steps back into the interview, having finished his phonecall.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Bold looks forward to giving Mr. Schwarz a very rousing welcome to ULOL. He's going to give him the grand tour of the wrestling ring, and maybe the rest of the ringside area. Once he is done, Mr. Bold will then help Mr. Schwarz in getting comfortable for a three second tan, in the middle of the ring. Isn't that right, GoodFella?"

Everyone looks at Arnold Bold for his input.


GoodFella starts chuckling...

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Yes indeed this man will be welcomed to by getting the beating of the lifetime. I am sure that he never had such a beating as I am going to give him. Who am I fighting again? Schwarz? What kind of surname is that Schwarz? He's like half a Schwarzenegger! So he's probably half a man too with half the skills. Whoever this Felix Schwarz is tonight will be his grand entrance and exit out of ULOL!"

GoodFella looks very happy about himself and his upcoming opponent beating.

Stephanie Dawson: "And that wraps up this segment from The Entourage with their manager."




VS

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is for one fall! Making his way to the ring, here is Felix Schwarz!"

A man comes out, and heads to the ring. There is no music, no fireworks, no fanfare of any sort.

Brad Blood: "Felix Schwarz is so awesome, he doesn't need any stinkin' pyro!"

Jim Jackson: "This is Felix Schwarz' debut match in the United League of Lunatics. But he's got a tough competitor for his first match."

Jasmine Lee: "His opponent, accompanied to the ring by Mr. Manolo Ferrer, here is Arnold "GoodFella" Bold!"

"Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again, and we see Arnold Bold standing in the middle of the ring with Manolo Ferrer.


Jim Jackson: "GoodFella looks pretty enthusiastic about this match."

Brad Blood: "You can say the same about Schwarz. Looks like he's itching to get a scalp under his belt right away."

Jim Jackson: "Here we go. GoodFella and Schwarz go for a collar and elbow tie-up, Schwarz manages to get a headlock, but GoodFella punches him in the kidneys to force him to let go. Schwarz counters with strikes of his own."

Brad Blood: "He's backing Bold to the ropes. An Irish whip is countered, but Schwarz ducks GoodFella's clothesline. Only to miss the flying bodyblock attempt!"

Jim Jackson: "Arnold Bold takes the opportunity to knock Schwarz over the ropes! And Manolo Ferrer likes that!"

Brad Blood: "GoodFella keeping a step ahead of Felix Schwarz. Could be newcomer jitters on Schwarz' part. It probably doesn't help that Mr. Ferrer is standing in front of him."

Jim Jackson: "Manolo Ferrer perhaps standing a bit too close to Felix Schwarz' liking. They're having words and Arnold Bold BLINDSIDES Felix Schwarz with a baseball slide!"

Brad Blood: "Mr. Ferrer is certainly doing his share to help his client."

Jim Jackson: "Felix Schwarz...is sent running to the ringsteps but he manages to land on them safely! He turns around and JUMPS at GoodFella!"

Brad Blood: "He missed!"

Jim Jackson: "GoodFella SLAMS an open palm right up Schwarz' jaw! Felx Schwarz crumples to the floor!"

Brad Blood: "GoodFella's smelling blood! He's getting Schwarz back in the ring!"

Jim Jackson: "He's lifting him up for a Samoan, no, Schwarz elbows his way out of it! Surprises Arnold Bold with an inverted DDT!"

Brad Blood: "He's got him covered!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "Kickout! Schwarz is stumbling back to his feet!"

Brad Blood: "He's stumbling around like a drunk!"

Jim Jackson: "Schwarz runs to the ropes, but hits the brakes when he sees Manolo Ferrer staring at him! He runs to another side of the ring for his attack!"

Brad Blood: "But GoodFella takes the distraction to boot him in the midsection on the rebound! Schwarz has the wind knocked out of him! Arnold Bold is lifting him up!"

Jim Jackson: "And he sends Schwarz Sleeping with the Fishes! That shook the ring!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of the match, by pinfall, Arnold "GoodFella" Bold!"

Jim Jackson: "Another win for GoodFella! He's quickly building a case for himself as a title contender, Brad!"

Brad Blood: "Mr. Ferrer is very happy with the result! Can Taufik also win tonight?"


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/27/2010   Fri Nov 26, 2010 8:07 pm



Scene opens and we see The British Hawk barging out of a door quickly followed by Stephanie Dawson. A tear trickles down his face as he stops and clears tables of food and merchandise. Stephanie scuttles quickly in front of him, stopping him in his tracks.

Stephanie Dawson: "Hawk, please stop it! What's the matter with you!"

TBH turns instantly and looks into the eyes if ULOL's beautiful interviewer. He sighs heavily.

The British Hawk: "How can you not know? I miss my ex girlfriend! That old fag didn't help either."

TBH turns and punches a locker, leaving a dent in it. He turns to grab Stephanie but stops himself.

The British Hawk: "Listen Stephanie, you're pretty and smart. You'll make any man happy. Even if that man is Taufik, so if you really do love him then nothing should stop you making that relationship work."

TBH walks off out of view, leaving Stephanie thinking about the advice he has given her. She turns the opposite way and walks as the scene fades out.






"Faith Love Hope by Starsailor" blasts through the arena speakers as the arena fills with smoke. Red spotlights scatter around the arena and follow a Lucian Blackheart. He raises his arms and slowly spins before he makes his way down the ramp, into the ring grabbing a mic."

Lucian Blackheart: "Last week, I stood in this very ring and told you that I would destroy the 'Jobber', Mr. Marcus Troy set me up with. I demonstrated nearly half of my destructive power. But now he wants to set me up with another one? I don't see why he doesn't just hand me the title belt, instead of just handing me a bunch of no-talent, second hand losers that are supposed to 'oppose' me? From the looks of the roster there looks to be only one man with enough experience, knowledge, and power to completely destroy me. A ULOL veteran. A dark, sick, sadistic man. When you here his name, you get chills crawling down your spine. But then again.. He's probably to old too keep up with me."

Lucian Blackheart pauses for a brief moment trying to catch his breath, he can't help but laugh at his previous statement.

Lucian Blackheart: "No disrespect to you old-timer, but this is a new era. The era of Blackheart, and I'm going to show that to you.. To ALL OF YOU!"

Lucian Blackheart jumps up to the second rope on the turnbuckle facing the backstage area, he raises one arm in the air and the other with the mic to his mouth.

Lucian Blackheart: "For those of you who do not know this man, we've never actually crossed paths. He goes by the name of Bloodflame."

Lucian Blackheart lowers the mic briefly as a quick glance of fear appears on his face.

Lucian Blackheart: "Now, this isn't a call-out.. I'm simply letting you know.. There's a new, better, 'updated' version of you.. He's here right now, in this ring."

Lucian Blackheart jumps off the turnbuckle and ponders the ring with his head held high.

Lucian Blackheart: "Now since I'm so nice, I'll let you in on my plan. First.. I'm going to take over the lightweight division. Second, I'm going to take over the entire arena. Third, I'm going to take over ULOL. Now fourth and finally.. I'm going to take over all of your hearts!"

A sick sadistic smile appears on Lucian Blackhearts face.

Lucian Blackheart: "You should know Bloodflame.. I don't despise you, I envy and idolize you. But now it's time for me to shine. Now bring out my opponent. What's his name again? Joe Berr?"

Lucian Blackheart hands the mic to Jasmine Lee and jumps around in the ring.



VS

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, here is Lucian Blackheart!"

Brad Blood: "Lucian just ducked a drink thrown at him! What the hell?"

Jim Jackson: "I guess that counts as interacting with the fans."

Jasmine Lee: "His opponent, making his way to the ring, here is the British Hawk!"

'Get Ready To Fly' by Grits starts to play over the arena. The fans start to cheer loudly as The British Hawk rises from beneath he stage via a lift underneath the stage. He is wearing his ususal wrestling attire and with a black hooded jacket with the hood up. He walks off the lift and raises his arms up triggering stage pyros to go off. He walks down to the ramp and enters the ring. He climbs onto a turnbuckle and removes his hood and taunts to the fans who cheer loudly.

Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk's had plenty of problems to deal with for a long time."

Brad Blood: "It's certainly well documented. The man's got a lot of demons he needs to exorcise. But General Manager Marcus Troy has no problem bringing him to the United League of Lunatics as an active competitor. So he's going to have to work through his own problems while trying not to get beat."

Jim Jackson: "He may have an additional reason to go for broke in this match. We've just been informed that the British Hawk's former companion, Lady Bianca de Sade, is seated in the front row."

There's a brief shot of Lady Bianca, indeed seated at the front row. The British Hawk stares at her, but shows no reaction.

Brad Blood: "She looks better than what the videos show. I'd hit that."

Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk and Lucian Blackheart sizing each other up. There's the bell, and Hawk quickly connecting with a boot to the midsection. Takedown to Blackheart, and he's got him tight in a headlock. But Blackheart manages to roll him up into a pin, forcing the British Hawk to let go."

Brad Blood: "But Hawk quick to get back the upper hand. He's forcing Blackheart to cover up from his punches! Irish whip attempt is reversed, but Hawk connects with a flying shoulder off the rebound!"

Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk rocks Lucian Blackheart with a hit to the midsection. Grabs him...snap suplex! Follows up with a belly to back suplex!"

Brad Blood: "He didn't even let go of Blackheart when he transitioned between suplexes! Oh he's going for a third, but Lucian blocks it! Small package!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two!"

Brad Blood: "Hawk kicks out at two, but he goes right back on the attack! He's got Blackheart for another suplex but Blackheart slips loose in midmove!"

Jim Jackson: "Blackheart grabs the British Hawk, but Hawk pushes him away to counter the DDT attempt! Hawk charges, but gets tangled up in the ropes!"

Brad Blood: "He gave Lucian too much time to telegraph his attack! Blackheart KICKS Hawk off the ropes, and sends him crashing to the outside!"

Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk lands right in front of Lady Bianca de Sade!"

Brad Blood: "She's gonna get a pretty good look of him in pain."

Jim Jackson: "Blackheart flies off the ring apron, hitting the British Hawk with a flying boot!"

Brad Blood: "Lucian lands on his feet without hurting himself! So he hurts Hawk some more by throwing him into the guard rail!"

Jim Jackson: "Hawk's face is slammed into the ring apron! Blackheart forces him back into the ring. The British Hawk gets rocked by a hard punch! He tries to fight back, but Blackheart...Michinoku driver!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "Blackheart...with a kneedrop! Hawk's rolling around in pain! Blackheart stalking him!"

Brad Blood: "Looks like he's ready to end it, Jim! Lady Bianca looks tense!"

Jim Jackson: "Lucian Blackheart kicks the British Hawk to the stomach, then does a 180 degree spin but Hawk blocks the kick!"

Brad Blood: "He YANKS Blackheart off-balance, dropping him onto his face!

Jim Jackson: "Blackheart totally face planted! Lady Bianca appears tense and stiff! No doubt really concerned about how Hawk is faring in this match!"

Brad Blood: "Yeah. She looks like she's shaking slightly. And Hawk flies at Blackheart with a spinning kick! He snaps to his feet...to the ropes and he slingshots himself at Lucian but hits only the mat! Blackheart...tosses him out of the ring, and he lands right in front of Lady Bianca de Sade again!

Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk unable to keep his offense going for long!!"

Brad Blood: "Hey, we should try that, Jim."

Jim Jackson: "Try what?"

Brad Blood: "See how Hawk always lands in front of someone he actually knows? Next match, we should bring out the friends and relatives of the wrestlers and have them sit in the front row. This way, we won't get caught up in the melee, because it'll never come our way."

Jim Jackson: "Blackheart slams Hawk facefirst into the ringpost! The British Hawk is hurt! Blackheart skips onto the ringsteps...AND LAUNCHES HIMSELF AT HAWK TO HIT FOUR OF A KIND!"

Brad Blood: "Hawk just spun around like a rag doll from that kick! Look at him fly!"

Jim Jackson: "Hawk crash lands facefirst into the guard rail! Lady Bianca shaking uncontrollably with emotion as she sees the British Hawk mauled by his opponent! Blackheart returns to the ring!"

Brad Blood: "The British Hawk's not moving from where he landed! I think he's dead, Jim!"

Jim Jackson: "The referee is continuing the ten count!"

Brad Blood: "Lady Bianca's face is red with emotion! She's biting her lip as she shakes from the agony of watching Hawk laying in such a state!"

Jim Jackson: "Blackheart took advantage of Hawk's missteps in the match, and just made him pay for it!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Nine! Ten! Ring the bell!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match, by countout...Lucian Blackheart!"

Jim Jackson: "Blackheart is going out of the ring! What's he...he's attacking the British Hawk! What the hell?"

Brad Blood: "Maybe he's just trying to make sure Hawk isn't dead, Jim! Look! Hawk's still breathing!"

Jim Jackson: "Blackheart sends the British Hawk HURTLING into the ringsteps! Hawk's lying in a heap!"

Brad Blood: "Bianca's practically beside herself! Look at how distressed and shaking she is! LUCIAN JUST TATTOOS HAWK INTO THE RINGSTEPS WITH A KICK!"

Jim Jackson: "You can hear the disgusting sound of flesh crashing into steel all the way across the street! Someone get this animal out of here!"

Officials finally manage to pry Lucian Blackheart away from the fallen Hawk. As they leave, we see Lady Bianca de Sade, taking ragged, deep breaths. Her face is red from her emotional exertions as she helplessly looks at Hawk laying at ringside.






With the inclusion of her name in the Battle Royale for ULOL's premiere title, Nao Fook Mi is seen training intensely in the gym. ULOL's head trainer Chuck Norris is seen watching from the sidelines. He checks out Fook Mi's form and shakes his head and walks over.

Chuck Norris: "You're form is all wrong, if you want I can help train you properly."

Fook Mi stops her kicks and looks at Walker Texas Ranger, smiles and graciously declines.

Nao Fook Mi: "Thank you for your kind off Mr. Norris but I have already asked someone else to help me train, he may just be running a little late, but I'm sure he'll be here any moment now. I am quite sure you've heard of him, he's Roe Kai, the MMA superstar who made his debut in ULOL two weeks ago. He promised to help me get in shape specially for this upcoming battle royale."

Chuck Norris seemed impressed that this girl in front of him was able to get a big name like Roe Kai to help train her.

Chuck Norris: "Yes I've heard of Roe Kai, he is very skilled but his skill cannot help you if he's not here. Since I am the head trainer here, it is my job to help anyone in need."

Fook Mi nods at Chuck Norris' statement.

Nao Fook Mi: "Well I guess a few extra pointers from the legendary Chuck Norris wouldn't hurt, who knows your training may even be the factor that allows me to win the battle royale."

Chuck Norris: "Well said, now let's see your kicks again."

The camera zooms out as Chuck Norris begins giving pointers to Fook Mi as the screen slowly fades to black.






Stephanie Dawson is standing backstage with the Demonic God Shogun looking like she wants an interview with him. Shogun is looking at the ground as if thinking over his strategy for his match tonight.

Stephanie Dawson: "Excuse me Shogun would you mind if I asked you a few questions before the big title match toni-"

Shogun: "Carbon copy? Who do you think you are to call ME! The greatest man to EVER step into the squared circle a carbon copy?"

Shogun: "There's no need to ask me any questions about tonight Stephanie because I will tell you whats going to happen tonight! I WILL become the world champion and I WILL begin the destruction of that fool Q! "

Shogun: "I was creating nightmares before you started learning to run the ropes Q and tonight I will prove to the entire world just why I am the Demonic God and the BEST wrestler in THE WORLD today!"


Shogun storms off towards the ring leaving Stephanie looking shocked

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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/27/2010   Fri Nov 26, 2010 8:07 pm

VS
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VS
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Jim Jackson: "And here it is folks, the match everybody has been waiting for, the main event of the evening."

Brad Blood: "That's right, the ten-man battle royale for the ULOL Primo Ultimo title!"

"Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers, the ULOL Tron comes on and dressed in a three piece Armani suit, the general manager of United League of Lunatics is seen on the big screen.

Marcus Troy: "It has come to my attention that a certain wrestler was not cleared by physicians to compete tonight, after last week's match, Raven Connoly has injured her leg and will not be able to participate in the battle royale. But the show must go on, thus I am naming a replacement. Taking Ms. Connoly's place in the battle royale is Bloodflame! And an additional rule to make this battle royale interesting, after all but two wrestlers have been eliminated, the last two wrestlers in the ring must battle for either a pinfall or submission!"

Jim Jackson: "Tough break for Raven, a fan favorite it will be a shame that she will not be able to compete in the battle royale. And with a surprise change in the rules, the general manager has given an interesting twist to the match!"

Brad Blood: "Lucky for Bloodflame though, but I guess his strong showing in his past two matches does in a way make him qualify for a chance to win the title."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the main event of the evening! The following match is a ten-man battle royale and is for the ULOL Primo Ultimo Championship! Introducing first, Alexander Conway!"

"Hunt You Down" by Saliva blares throughtout the arena as Alexander Conway makes his way to the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Conway has yet to be defeated here in ULOL, he definitely is a major contender for the title."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Allister King!"

A Coyote Howl is heard throughout the arena as the entrance is covered in smoke. Godsmack's Whiskey Hangover begins to play as Allister king walks out onto the entrance ramp with a cigarette in his mouth and a bottle of whiskey in his hand. Allister Falls a few times on his way to ring and sits on the ring apron while he finishes his cigarette and bottle of whiskey. He falls of the ring apron and hits his head of the ground which somehow seems to sobers him up enough for him to enter the ring. He gets in the ring and sits in the corner.

Brad Blood: "It's ULOL's resident fun drunk! I love this guy!"

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, let us welcome Bloodflame!"

"Asylum" by Disturbed starts to play as the entrance way explodes with fire. Bloodflame walks through the fire and makes his way to the ring.

Jim Jackson: "And here comes tonight's surprise entry."

Jasmine Lee: "Next let us welcome Nao Fook Mi!"

Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. She quickly makes her way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. She bows and gives her respect to the crowd before heading to her corner.

Brad Blood: "Oh man, it's my favorite named wrestler! FOOK MI!!! FOOK MI TONIGHT!!!"

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Nu-metal music begins to play as a highlight reel of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing runs on the ULOLTron. A horde of reporters and photographers gather at the stage entrance, taking pictures and giving a blow by blow of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's every move as he steps out for his match. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing waves to the fans as he slowly makes his way to the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Crowd favorite Q gets a huge pop as he enters the ring."

Jasmine Lee: "Next let us welcome, Shogun!"

"A Victim, A Target" by Misery Signals blasts though the arena speakers ans the lights begin to flash on and off. As the lyrics begin Shogun bursts from behind the curtains with fire erupting from the ramp beside him. Shogun begins to make his way to the ring with a look of pure intensity on his face. as he makes it to the ring he runs up and rolls into the ring the expression on his face unchanged.

Brad Blood: "The man who calls himself The Demonic God has entered the ring."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Sr. Gonzalez!"

Helicopter sounds are heard across the arena as Sr. Gonzalez walks down the ramp wearing a big jacket to protect him from the wind. He is accompanied by 2 bodyguards. He climbs up into the ring and throws his jacket at somebody ringside, and then waves to the crowd.

Jim Jackson: "Sr. Gonzalez, probably the richest man in the roster makes his way to the ring."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Taufik!"

"Smoke and Mirror" started playing in the speakers. Taufik enters but looked at the digital mirror and checked himself out before entering the ring and when he enters the ring, he poses to the crowd before he awaits his opponent.

Brad Blood: "Hah! That's the guy The Morbidly Obese Man called gay earlier!"

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, The Morbidly Obese Man!"

THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!! The earth reverberated and shook as the monstrosity known as The Morbidly Obese Man squeezed himself out of the now visibly cracked entrance tunnel. There is no entrance music and no video playing on the Titan Tron. Just one massive form that looks bigger than an elephant. The crowd stares in stunned silence, not knowing what to make of the super-sized behemoth making his way down the entrance ramp as the floors creak with every step. As The Morbidly Obese Man reaches the ring he climbs up the steel steps the crowd wonders how this "thing" can enter the ring. But lo and behold in a feat of utter incredibility and great fat flexing ability, The Morbidly Obese Man somehow squeezed through the ring ropes and enters the ring which sighs heavily under his weight.

Jim Jackson: "Now here is probably the toughest challenge for all the competitors tonight, definitely the biggest threat, The Morbidly Obese Man has the odds stacked in his favor tonight."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the last competitor, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson!"

"Papercut" by Linkin Park blasts over the arena as 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson enters the stage through a spark shower. He makes his way to the ring. He enters the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, scouting the entire arena.

Brad Blood: "And the final man enters the ring... Man it's really crowded in there."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for the match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! The ring has become a mad rumble as a ten-man brawl has ensued! UJJ tackles Bloodflame taking him down while Sr. Gonzalez, Nao Fook Mi and Alexander Conway take on The Morbidly Obese Man who is holding his own against three wrestlers!"

Brad Blood: "Haha! I think Allister has grabbed on to Taufik and is singing while Taufik tries to push him off of him! ALLISTER JUST KISSED TAUFIK ON THE LIPS!!! WAHAHAHA!!! To think the man labeled gay by TMOM gets a kiss from a man! WAHAHAHA!!! OH MY GOD!!! I THINK ALLISTER JUST THREW UP IN TAUFIK'S MOUTH!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Well Q and Shogun seems to be trading blows. Taufik digusted finally shoves Allister King away! TMOM just threw Fook Mi at both Sr. Gonzalez and Alexander Conway!"

Brad Blood: "Taufik is in the corner puking, or spitting out Allister King's puke, either way puke is coming out of his mouth. WAHAHAHAHA!! Leave it to Allister to make things interesting."

Jim Jackson: "Q just stuns Shogun with a neckbreaker! A dropkick sends Shogun to the corner! TMOM grabs Q from behind! He lifts Q over his head but Q slips down behind him and goes for the knees! TMOM falls to one knee, Alexander Conway and Sr. Gonzalez hit a double dropkick and the big man goes down!"

Brad Blood: "Allister King stumbles around to TMOM, he pries open a space between TMOM's love handles... WAHAHAHAHA!!! HE JUST THREW UP INTO TMOM'S LOVE HANDLES BEFORE CLOSING IT UP AGAIN!!! WAHAHAHAAA!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Bloodflame just floors UJJ with a stiff clothesline! Fook Mi grabs the drunk wrestler and Irish whips him towards Taufik... Taufik sees King tumbling towards him, he ducks down... BACK BODY DROP OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! King goes over but lands on the apron!!! He's still in..."

Brad Blood: "Allister King leaps into the crowd over the steel railings and wrests a can of beer from an audience member! King just eliminated himself!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, Allister King has been eliminated!"

Jim Jackson: "Taufik seems happy that King has been eliminated he does not see Bloodflame behind him, Bloodflame throws Taufik over the top rope but Taufik hangs on and lands on the apron rolling inside. Fook Mi takes Bloodflame down with a hurricanrana!"

Brad Blood: "Looks like Conway and Sr. Gonzalez is avoiding TMOM as he has puke dripping from his fat folds... WAHAHAHAHA!!!"


Jim Jackson: "Q with a spear folds Taufik in half! Q turns around, Shogun gets him with an uppercut followed by a DDT! Fook Mi with a drop kick sends Shogun crashing into Bloodflame! Bloodflame sends Shogun to the mat with a German suplex! Flying shoulder tackle by UJJ smashes into TMOM!"

Brad Blood: "And now the two tag partners are covered in vomit! WAHAHAHA! Allister King maybe gone but his stigma is spreading!"

Jim Jackson: "Alexander Conway hits a backbreaker on Gonzalez, he Irish whips Gonzalez to the ropes and dashes in with a clothesline... Gonzalez slips between the ropes and kicks Conway on the head sending him into Taufik's arms! Taufik hits a snapmare on Conway! Gonzalez leaps unto the top rope from the apron... Springboard dropkick sends Taufik flying! Fook Mi grabs the top rope and pulls it down!"

Brad Blood: "TAUFIK GOES OVER AND CRASHES TO THE OUTSIDE!!! And the dashing wrestler has been dashed out of the ring!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, Taufik has been eliminated!"

Jim Jackson: "Conway and Bloodflame are exchanging blows... TMOM takes both men down with a double clothesline! Gonzalez grabs Fook Mi... Sr Gonzalez grabs his opponent head between his short arms and does a somersault, launching his opponent foward, executing the Dinosaur Smash! Fook Mi goes over the top rope!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, Nao Fook Mi has been eliminated!"

Brad Blood: "Man, they are dropping like flies! People are getting eliminated real fast now!"

Jim Jackson: "TMOM has Bloodflame over his shoulders... He throws Bloodflame over the top rope... Bloodflame hangs on and lands on the apron... UJJ with a dropkick connects and Bloodflame but Bloodflame somehow hangs on! Alex Conway comes in with a flying knee right into Bloodflame's chin! Bloodflame finally falls out!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, Bloodflame has been eliminated!"

Brad Blood: "Aww shucks, I was hoping Bloodflame could have stayed longer."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun just took Sr. Gonzalez from behind. He picks Gonzalez up and hits a powerbomb! Q attacks Shogun from behind sending him to the mat! Standing moonsault! Q flattens Shogun! UJJ with a shoulder tackle sends Q flying into TMOM's arms! Powerslam by TMOM on Q! TMOM turns around and sees Conway quietly resting in the corner. He charges in... OOH!!! BIG BODY AVALANCHE ON CONWAY!!!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man, that flattened Conway! Not to mention transferred some of King's puke into him."

Jim Jackson: ""UJJ charges in and hits a bulldog on TMOM! Shogun walks into UJJ who tries to pick him up over his shoulders... Shogun slips down behind UJJ and shoves him forward into Q! Q leaps up to the air and hits a dropkick sending UJJ backwards this time into TMOM's arms! TMOM lifts UJJ up and throws UJJ over the top rope!

Brad Blood: "UJJ lands on the top rope! Sr. Gonzalez charges in! UJJ pulls the top rope down and Gonzalez goes over! WAIT GONZALEZ GRABS UJJ BY THE TIGHTS AND PULLS UJJ OFF OF THE APRON AND DOWN OUTSIDE ALONG WITH HIM!!!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, Sr. Gonzalez and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson has been eliminated!"

Jim Jackson: "And with that we are down to the final four! TMOM has the upperhand now as he is smashing his fists into Conway, Shogun and Q alternating between the three wrestlers, he knows that they will gang up on him now."

Brad Blood: "They should have gone after TMOM from the start with nine men, they could have easily thrown TMOM over the top rope... Ok so not easily but they would have managed."

Jim Jackson: "Q ducks down and dodges TMOM's fist, he does a series of low kicks to TMOM's shin! TMOM drop to one knee... Shining wizard by Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing! Shogun and Alexander Conway dashes in, they both grab TMOM by the head... Double DDT! The big man goes down!"

Brad Blood: "Well they got the big man down, the question is how to get him over the ropes."

Jim Jackson: "Here comes Q with a flying crossbody! He takes both Shogun and Conway down! Q sends TMOM to the ropes with an Irish whip, TMOM reverses it and it's Q who is sent to the ropes! The Morbidly Obese Man reaches in between his love handles and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles while the referee is not looking. He then busts his opponent open with the brass knuckles and discards them before the referee notices executing a sneakily morbid Love Handle Surprise!!! TMOM just hit Q with his illegal finisher!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man Q goes down! TMOM picks Q up and throws him over the top rope... Q hits the floor!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing has been eliminated!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun and Conway teaming up, they both kick TMOM in the guts then with a double Irish whip sends the big man to the ropes! TMOM bounces back and ducks under a double clothesline attempt by Shogun and Conway! TMOM again bounces back the ropes... HE TAKES BOTH MEN DOWN WITH A SPEAR!!!"

Brad Blood: "I think they're dead Jim! They are not moving at all! TMOM may have this match won."

Jim Jackson: "TMOM grabs Conway and lifts him up to his shoulders... He makes his way to the ropes..."

Brad Blood: "Well goodbye Conway..."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun with a forearm to to TMOM's knee and Conway is able to slip down behind TMOM! Conway quickly lands a dropkick sending TMOM to the ropes... Shogun grabs a leg and tries to throw TMOM over... Conway quickly joins in..."

Brad Blood: "Will two men be enough to throw the big man out?"

Jim Jackson: "TMOM with a hammerfist into Shogun's back and an elbow to Conway's nape stops the efforts of both men... TMOM shoves Shogun and sends him flying to the corner. TMOM sends Conway to the ropes and charges in... Conway dodges a clothesline attempt TMOM bounces on the ropes..."

SNAPT!!!

Brad Blood: "OHMYGOD!!! THE TOP ROPE BROKE UNDER TMOM's WEIGHT!!! TMOM FALLS OFF BALANCE AND HITS THE OUTSIDE!!!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, The Morbidly Obese Man has been eliminated!"

Jim Jackson: "In a freak incident, The Morbidly Obese Man, the biggest threat in the competition has been eliminated leaving Conway and Shogun as the final two!"

Brad Blood: "That means both men must battle now for a pinfall or submission, whoever wins gets the title!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun strikes first and takes Conway down with a shoulder block. Knee drop by Shogun who quickly hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Conway kicks out and fights his way back up to his feet."

Jim Jackson: "Conway with a hammerlock on Shogun but Shogun reverses it! Conway leaps and twists free of Shogun's grasp and hits an enzuigiri. Russian leg sweep by Conway takes Shogun down! Conway climbs to the top turnbuckles... He leaps..."

Brad Blood: "AND EATS BOOT! Shogun gets his boot up in the last second! Shogun grabs Conway... This won't end well..."

Jim Jackson: "Rolling Germans!!! Conway's shoulder are down!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Kick out by Conway! Conway stays in the game!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun goes in for the kill... Conway squirms out of Shogun's grasp! Alexander Conway forces Shogun to the ground, catches Shogun's left arm in a leg scissor and then locks his hands over Shogun's face, pulling Shogun's head backwards executing The Prophecy! Conway has his submission locked in!"

Brad Blood: "He defeated Shogun previously with that! Wait! Shogun reaches out! He gets his hand on the top rope that TMOM snapped! The ref breaks the hold!"

Jim Jackson: "Conway is not happy, he knows he could have won the match already... He grabs Shogun by the hair... LOW BLOW BY SHOGUN! Shogun lifts Alexander Conway up into into the air in a half nelson and then into a backdrop position before slamming Alexander Conway down to a sitting position, slamming the back of his neck to the canvas executing a Demonic Sacrifice! Conway is down! Shogun hooks the leg!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and your first ULOL Primo Ultimo Champion... Shogun!"

Brad Blood: "SHOGUN WINS!!! SHOGUN WINS!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun makes history as ULOL's first Primo Ultimo Champion! It would have been better without that low blow though."

Brad Blood: "A win is a win Jim. Shogun is celebrating in the ring."

"Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers as smoke rises from the floor. Dressed in a three piece Armani suit, the new general manager of United League of Lunatics steps out from the smoke and makes his way down to the ring.

Jim Jackson: "It's the General Manager of ULOL Marcus Troy!"

Marcus Troy: "First of all I want to congratulate Shogun for his win and for becoming the first ULOL Primo Ultimo Champion! I'm sure you earned it in a well fought battle tonight."

The crowd starts to boo loudly.

Marcus Troy: "Before you all decide to boo me, let me introduce some good news. As of next month Lucha Loco shall be seen in your homes again. Yes that's right, with a new champion, United League of Lunatics has gotten a TV deal and will now be on UHF Channel 62 every Thursdays, that right show time will be moved to Thursdays to Saturdays from now on! From here on in, a new era in ULOL begins!"

The crowd cheers loudly at the announcement.

Brad Blood: "We're gonna be on TV!!! We're gonna be on TV!!!"

Marcus Troy holds his hand up and the crowd settles down.

Marcus Troy: "Further more another change is coming as United League of Lunatics shall also have it's first pay-per-view next month! That's right, mark your calendars, on December 26, United League of Lunatics shall have it's first pay-per-view and only the best of the best in ULOL shall make it there. So this is also for the roster, if you want a bigger paycheck, you better work your asses off starting next month!"

Marcus Troy drops the mic and leaves the ring as his music begins to play again.

Jim Jackson: "What an announcement from Marcus Troy! In just one month, ULOL evolved. And now, Shogun resumes his celebration in the ring."

Brad Blood: "We're gonna be on TV!!! We're gonna be on TV!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Sigh, yes Brad, we heard you the first time!"

Brad Blood: "TV!!!"




Jim Jackson: "What a night this was. Not only did we crown the first ULOL Primo Ultimo Champion, our general manager also came out with a whopper of an announcement. Congratulations to Shogun"

Brad Blood: "TV!!! WE'RE GONNA BE ON TV!!!"

Jim Jackson: "That's right, a TV deal which means that ULOL Lucha Loco shall be seen from the homes of our fans starting next week. Don't forget to tune in folks for Lucha Loco's first televised telecast next Thursday December 2, 2010!"

Brad Blood: "I can't wait! This is awesome! What will be in store for us next week? Well tune in to find out."

Jim Jackson: "And that's all the time we have for tonight, for my partner Brad Blood, this is Jim Jackson signing off! Good night folks!"


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/27/2010   

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