Dios Mio! 09/25/2011

Subject: Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Sun Sep 25, 2011 12:37 pm

VS

Jim Jackson: "Welcome to the dark match for Dios Mio! ULOL's PPV. This special match is specially booked for everyone who bought tickets tonight."

Brad Blood: "Yeah, tough luck for those watching at home, they are gonna miss one awesome match."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a singles match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, Rupert B. Humperdink!"

Raffi's Banana phone plays as Rupert B. Humperdink comes running out to a thunderous reaction to the crowd who chant his name. He waves to the crowd. He jumps and skips down to the ring drowling, swinging about his scooby doo lunchbox. He skips around the ring a few times before attempting to get in the ring. He falls in and looks like he is about to cry. The ref helps him up and guides him to his corner. Rupert hugs the ref before sitting down and taking a biscuit out of his lunchbox.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, his opponent for the evening, Patsy!"

On the other corner of the ring, we see a life-size doll slumped with it's back leaning on the corner. Maybe it's a trick of the light, but it seems that the doll is grinning while looking at Rupert.

Rupert B. Humperdink stands shaking in the ring. Even without a microphone you can still hear him talking.

Rupert B. Humperdink: "He's coming to get me! He's coming to get me!"

Rupert hugs the referee.

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Save me!! Save me!! He's going to kill me!"

Rupert breaks down in tears as he senses the presence of Patsy. Must be some kind of super psychic retard power.

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell, we have Rupert B. Humperdink who is still clinging to the referee going against an inanimate object. Seriously... This is the match we have for our fans in attendance tonight? Humperdink against a doll?!"

Brad Blood: "The referee finally peels Humperdink off of him and shoves him towards Patsy, the lifeless doll... Humperdink screams as he falls towards Patsy and entangle himself into the doll's lifeless arms."

Jim Jackson: "In a bizarre twist, we now see Rupert B. Humperdink running across the ring with Patsy clinging to his back, or to be more precisely, it looks like Humperdink is holding Patsy's arms around his shoulders and running amok."

Brad Blood: "WAHAHAHA!!! This is hilarious! Seriously this is funny stuff! Whoa! Humperdink trips on his own legs!"

Jim Jackson: "And he falls forward in a roll! What the?! Rupert B. Humperdink is getting hammered by what looks like flip piledrivers kinda like the infinite destroyer! It's like he's executing the flip piledrivers on himself?!"

Brad Blood: "WAHAHAHAHAHA! This is hilarious! Humperdink, I mean Patsy just hit his seventh flip piledriver on Humperdink! Eight! Nine! Ten!"

Jim Jackson: "And the flip piledriver sequence stops! We have Patsy laying on top of Rupert B. Humperdink!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall, Patsy!"

Jim Jackson: "This is the first time I saw something this bizarre... An inanimate object actually won against a wrestler."

Brad Blood: "This is gold! Those viewers at home missed a golden match... WAHAHAHA!"

Jim Jackson: "The referee just peeled the doll off Rupert and is checking up on him."

Brad Blood: "Er... Jim? This may sound weird... But I think I just saw Patsy wink at me..."

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Jim Jackson: "Welcome and good evening folks to Dios Mio! ULOL's pay-per-view for the month of September! Tonight we have great matches for every watching including a FOUR title defenses and also a ten-man battle for the ULOL Boleto Dorado so I'm sure we will have enough action to keep everybody off their seats."

Brad Blood: "You got that right, Conway versus Q, Raven versus Fook Mi, The Northern Kings versus GoodFella & Schwarz versus Brostar & Marston and also Connoly versus Zombie. Four great title matches planned for tonight will make even the most indifferent wrestling fans drool. The of course we have the ULOL Boleto Dorado... Definitely a night everyone will remember."

Jim Jackson: "Well we should not keep the fans waiting then. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens with Ray Kamaura sitting in the DWMA locker room, alone. There is nothing on the TV and the other members of the DWMA are nowhere to be found.

Ray Kamaura: "Heh, It looks like the DWMA is over. That is, at least, until Leon returns."

Ray, out of sadness and regret, lowers his head and nods.

Ray Kamaura: "But, it doesn't matter. Soon enough I’ll be the Primo Ultimo Champion."

Ray, the ULOL's resident giant, stands tall and walks over to the door and opens it wide. A grin flashes on his face. A grin that shows the confidence overflowing out of the massive man.

Ray Kamaura: "I'll beat Yuki, end of story. I'm giving rise to a new age in the ULOL."

Ray, the proud man, standing before the camera, closes the door and continues on his way to the ring. The Scene fades to black and only Ray's voice is heard saying "You know what to do."

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

The night was filled with shouts and chants from protesters who are camped out in the parking lot area. Protesters composed of the countrymen of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. Noticeably the crowd is a little smaller that the usual number of Q's countrymen present in an ULOL event and it is also noticeable that a huge number of the protesters are sporting casts and bandages, not as the latest fashion trend but more of a necessity due to the injuries they sustained last week at Lucha Loco.

Injured Q's Countryman Shouting in a Foreign Tongue: ["ROAST THAT FAT BASTARD! GIVE US HIS HEAD!"]

Another Injured Q's Countryman Shouting in a Foreign Tongue: ["THE MOUNTAIN OF MAN MEAT MUST COMPENSATE US FOR OUR INJURIES! HIS FAT SHOULD BE HARVESTED AND SOLD TO ALASKA TO PAY FOR OUR MEDICAL BILLS!"]

Yet Another Injured Q's Countryman Shouting in a Foreign Tongue: ["WE WANT JUSTICE! WE WANT THE FAT MAN IN CHAINS!"]

Just then the lights of the moon gets blocked, not from the clouds but by a gigantic looming form with a wicked smile. Gasps of fear are suddenly heard from Q's countrymen.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "It seems that you still haven't learned your lesson. Well I wouldn't mind dishing out some extra lessons..."

The screams of Q's countrymen are heard echoing in the parking lot going in symphony with sounds of bones breaking as the scene fades to black.

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Yuki Monotomo is walking around the DWMA’s locker room. The bench is duct taped and the silver simmers in the dim lights. He goes to axe kick the bench again, but stops himself. He sits down on the bench and looks at the lockers. He lightly punches the locker in front of himself.

Yuki Monotomo: "So, the DWMA’s breaking apart. The title’s gonna be mine, I just know it, but Ray thinks he can stand in my way. Being a giant isn’t much use when you can’t move or breathe. He doesn’t seem to get that. I’ll just have to lock in a black dragon hold and show him who’s going to win that title and why. Being a giant powerhouse won’t do him a damn thing once I lock in a hold. He’s going to tap to the god of the ULOL and prove he’s a mortal, not a god, like me."

The ladies’ man looks at the lights flickering above him. He chuckles to himself as he stares at the faulty lighting. He stands up and makes his way to the door of the locker room.

Yuki Monotomo: "Tonight, Yuki Monotomo proves that Ray Kamaura is no unstoppable force. He’s not a juggernaut. He’s not a god. The only god the DWMA ever was me. That’s all. I’ll prove to Ray that he’s inferior to me. Depending on what happens, this may just be the last time I’m in this locker room. Shame that Leon won’t be back in time to see me leave. Oh well, he’ll be finished wrestling the gorillas soon."

Yuki goes to leave the locker room and the scene fades to black. Yuki’s voice is heard.

Yuki Monotomo: "Wait a minute, there’s no gorillas on Mt. Fuji!"

The scene reopens revealing the Ray Kamaura was waiting in the back room, listening to everything Yuki Monotomo had to say. The Giant man walked over to the door and shut it slowly as to not draw any attention to him. The door closes. Ray Kamaura walks past the benches and over to a chair placed beside Yuki Monotomo's locker.

Ray Kamaura: "What a fool. How dare he think he is above the DWMA's leader. I am Ray Kamaura, the biggest and strongest superstar in the ULOL. My foundation is sturdy and unshaken by the likes of him. You can't lock in your black dragon hold if I snap your puny arms right off."

Ray Kamaura reaches out for the handle on Yuki's locker. He tasks a firm grasp on the handle and rips the locker door open, effectively displaying his power.

Ray Kamaura: "Also, where did this god complex come from? Apparently even a fool with a win/lose record like his can be a god? I guess with his logic Andrew Hunter is a god as well. No matter to that, Yuki will fall tonight and I will prove that I am the most dominating force in the DWMA and the ULOL for that matter. If he wants the title that bad he will have to take it from me. Despite Troy’s sad attempt to discourage us with his stipulation, I’ll give Yuki a title shot once I’m done with Alexander Conway, but only after I’m done with Alexander Conway. After all he is the reason I’m even aiming for the Primo Ultimo Championship."

Ray Kamaura, the gargantuan man sitting in a small chair, sighed and shook his head looking disappointed.

Ray Kamaura: "I’m so disappointed in Yuki for thinking he can beat me with a simple hold. I’m disappointed that he is deviating from the path I placed before him. I practically handed him the Correa de Ore on a silver platter. I wonder if he knows that I am a fierce singles competitor, that has went toe to toe with the best wrestlers the ULOL has to offer. After tonight its game over for Yuki Monotomo and his little rebellious streak."

Ray Kamaura rises to his feet and motions for the camera man to leave the room. The scene fades to black.

The scene reopens once more, this time outside the DWMA's locker room. Yuki Monotomo is standing outside the door. He glares at the camera before walking forward, his gold eyes flashing in the light. He seemingly pins the cameraman to the wall.

Yuki Monotomo: "Hey cameraman, what do you think you're doing here? Cutting my promo for Ray's use? I can see now that if Leon wanted to wrestle a gorilla, he could have stayed here and wrestled the big, dumb one in our locker room. He had to try to snipe my promo and make it all about himself. He's always had that complex. Everything has to be about Ray. Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray, every goddamn thing has to be about that gorilla. The entire DWMA is just to make his superiority complex feel good. Well, how are you going to lead a stable that no longer exists? I'm leaving the DWMA now. Follow me, cameraman."

The shot slowly comes toward the floor and begins to follow Yuki down the dank halls of the ULOL. Trash is strewn about from pieces of cardboard boxes and some pieces of wood as well. The moving shot focuses on Yuki.

Yuki Monotomo: "That damned gargantuan. He thinks that title is his to hold. Didn't he say he didn't want a title at first? Yes, he did, now the retarded ape wants a title shot as number one contender, which he won't get. He's going to run at me, throwing his fists as usual. He has to feel so much better than me. I will be taking a dive for him, though. A dive from the top ropes onto his crippled body in the center of the ring. I will pop every joint out from his body. His arms will be able to turn 360 degrees around when I'm done with him."

Yuki kicks a small piece of wood from out of his way that hits against the wall, knocking into some cardboard boxes, causing them to fall over. He walks back over to the camera.

Yuki Monotomo: "That title is mine. I'm the only god and I'll prove it by making that mortal beg for mercy in the center of the ring. Maybe that stupid orangutan will feel the pain if he's not too brain dead to do so. I'm going to make his submit to me. I'll lock in the white dragon hold and if he gets out of that, it'll be the black dragon hold from which he'll never escape. Well, I'm done ranting, so I guess I'll just take this to the camera room and make sure nobody else tries to cut a promo on top of mine."

The camera shakes and the shot turns to blackness as footsteps are heard followed by a door creaking open then shut.

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Sun Sep 25, 2011 12:37 pm

VS

Jim Jackson: “A lot at stake in our next matchup! In fact you could say this in effect is a title match! Ray Kamaura and Yuki Monotomo battle it out for the Primo Ultimo Number One contenders spot! But not only that at stake! Marcus Troy announced last week that whoever loses here tonight will not have a title shot for THREE hundred and sixty five days!! That’s a whole year with no title shot!! At anything!!!”

Brad Blood: “Sooo much at stake!!”

Jasmine Lee: “This next match is scheduled for a One Fall! The winner of this matchup will become the Number One Contender for the Primo Ultimo championship!! And the loser will not be able to have a title shot for the next year!! Introducing first, Yuki Monotomo!!!”

"Ninja" by Machinae Supremacy echoes throughout the arena. Fog rolls down the ramp as Yuki Monotomo walks slowly toward the ring. He blows a few kisses at some female fans from each ring corner.

Jasmine Lee: “And his opponent, Ray Kamaura!!!”

"Sound Of Madness" by Shinedown starts to play as Ray Kamaura, The leader of the DWMA, begins striding towards the ring. His seven foot frame towers over everything until he comes to the apron. Ray grabs the top rope and steps onto the ring then over the ropes into the ring. He swiftly moves to a turnbuckle and climbs it raises one arm into the air.

Jim Jackson: “Both of these men in the ring now!! This match means alot to both of them!! Former friends within the DWMA! And now they are both fighting for a title chance and the loser will get the absolute complete opposite!”

Jasmine Lee: “The referee for this match is Sully S. Calawag!!! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!!!”

Brad Blood: “And this highly anticipated match gets underway!! Ohh man both men exchanging fists! Both hoping to get the upperhand!! But Yuki Monotomo comes out on top!! And Monotomo hits a back kick!! Kamaura not quite on his knees!! Monotomo wants the big man down on the canvas as he strikes Kamaura with spinning back kick!!”

Jim Jackson: “Ray Kamaura still not shifting!! The big man knows what is at stake and is determined to stay on his feet!! Yuki Monotomo backing Kamaura up in the corner!! Monotomo stepping backwards into the opposite corner!! Monotomo sprints for Kamaura and leaps with another kick in mind!! BUT HE EATS THE BIG MANS BOOT!!! Monotomo running straight into the large sole of Ray Kamaura!!”

Brad Blood: “As you said Jim!! Kamaura not wanting to give Yuki Monotomo one inch of leeway!! Kamaura now on the offensive!! As he lifts Monotomo into the side position!! And Monotomo feels canvas for the first time with that sidewalk slam!! Kamaura has those shoulders down!!”

Sully S. Calawag: “One! Tw…”

Jim Jackson: “Not even a two count on that occasion!! Kamaura knowing how dangerous his former friend is and taking the chance!!”

Brad Blood: “Is he hoping Yuki Monotomo is just going to give him the win or something?”

Jim Jackson: “Kamaura drops a knee onto the grounded Monotomo!! And another!! Kamaura opting for a different approach as he begins to squeeze the skull of Monotomo between those large frying pan like hands!! Kamaura really looking determined as his grasp tightens around Monotomo’s head!!”

Brad Blood: “Maaan! Yuki Monotomo’s face now looks like some large piece of ugly putty!! Any women lusting after him, if any, there won’t be now!!”

Jim Jackson: “A face only a mother can love!! Let’s hope for his sake the wind doesn’t change!!”

Brad Blood: “Monotomo’s face distorted from the brain squeeze of course!! Kamaura wanting to deal out some serious damage!! Monotomo regaining some of his fight back!! As he attempts to pry the big man’s hands away from his skull!! Using all of his strength as he gets up to his feet!! Kamaura though is quite obviously stronger!! Kamaura still has his tight grasp around Monotomo’s skull! But Yuki Monotomo is on his feet all the same!! Monotomo hitting out the knee of Kamaura!! And he sends another boot to Kamaura’s knee!!”

Jim Jackson: “Kamaura finally releases his grasp after he takes a third boot to the knee!! Monotomo continues the kicks to the knee!! And Kamaura still not planning on going down! Monotomo now stepping back and delivers a running knee to the chest of Ray Kamaura!! Kamaura now leaning on the ropes! Monotomo with the irish whip, sending Kamaura running toward the opposite side of the ropes!! AND MONOTOMO DELIVERS A HARD RUNNING DROPKICK TO THE KNEE OF RAY KAMAURA!!! KAMAURA NOW ON ONE KNEE!! STILL NOT PLANNING ON DROPPING TO THE CANVAS!!”

Brad Blood: “Yuki Monotomo intent on bringing Kamaura down!! And Kamaura now attempting to get back to his feet but Monotomo circling the big man and wrapping an arm around the huge neck of Ray Kamaura!!! Instead trying to tire and cut the air off from the seven foot giant!!”

Jim Jackson: “A different approach and one that is more likely to work!! But nevertheless Kamaura is still adamant!! And Monotomo tightening up that sleeper hold on Kamaura’s neck!! Kamaura waving his arms trying to find Monotomo and attempt some sort of an escape!! Ray Kamaura slowly now getting to his feet!!! Yuki Monotomo still holding on!! Monotomo desperately tightening up the hold but Kamaura backs up into the corner!!! And Yuki Monotomo lets go through the impact of being squashed between the giant Kamaura and the turnbuckle!! Ray Kamaura now picking up Monotomo in the military press!!! A show of power as Kamaura roars holding Monotomo above his head!! AND KAMAURA THROWS MONOTOMO TO THE OUTSIDE!!! MONOTOMO LANDING HARD TO THE FLOOR BELOW!!!”

Brad Blood: “That was some height to fall from!! Seven feet in the air from INSIDE the ring!! Yuki Monotomo in some trouble now as he’s given Kamaura some time to recover and think on his strategy a bit more!!”

Sully S. Calawag: “One!”

Brad Blood: “Kamaura joining Yuki Monotomo here on the outside!! And Ray has Monotomo up on his feet!! Kamaura sends Monotomo flying into those steel steps!! The knees of Monotomo impacting with the side of the steps!! Monotomo RIGHT in the hands of Kamaura and that’s the last place he needed to be!!”

Sully S. Calawag: “Two!”

Jim Jackson: “A dangerous place indeed!!! All that brute strength mixed with what damage he could do using the objects on the outside here!! I don’t like to imagine!! Kamaura with Monotomo to his feet once again!! And Monotomo sent flying back first impacting on the barricade!!”

Sully S. Calawag: “Three!!”

Jim Jackson: “Ray Kamaura loving every minute of this!! Does he have this one sealed up? I guess we’ll find out as Kamaura rolling Monotomo back into the ring!! Kamaura with the shoulders down inside the ring!!”

Sully S. Calawag: “One! Two!! Thr…”

Brad Blood: “Only a two count!!! But so close!! Kamaura not happy with the referee!! Getting quite angry!! The referee trying to calm the big man down though!”

Jim Jackson: “The referee just taking it in!! Calawag must also be feeling the pressure!! With this match meaning a lot to both of these wrestlers it can mean a lot to the referee as well!!”

Brad Blood: “Kamaura now directing his anger towards Monotomo instead!! Landing a series of big punches!! Monotomo dazed after that and Kamaura now standing above him!! And Kamaura places one of his huge feet onto the chest of Monotomo and he puts all his weight onto it as he steps over Monotomo!! Almost trying to crush the ribcage of Yuki Monotomo!! And now he’s placing one foot onto the chest of Monotomo once again!!! But it looks like Kamaura is planning on putting his other foot on as well!!!! All that weight on top of the ribcage!!”

Jim Jackson: “This could do some serious damage!! Kamaura about to put ALL weight down!! BUT MONOTOMO ROLLS OVER AND TRIPS THE SEVEN FOOT GIANT!! KAMAURA FALLS BUT LANDS AWKWARDLY ON THE ROPES!! THE FRONT OF HIS NECK TAKING THE DAMAGE ON THE TOP ROPE!!”

Brad Blood: “Still not hitting the canvas!!”

Jim Jackson: “I DON’T THINK HE NEEDS HIM TO AS MONOTOMO LOCKS IN THAT WHITE DRAGON HOLD!!!! EVEN MORE PRESSURE ON THAT ADAM’S APPLE AFTER THE IMPACT ON THE ROPES!!! KAMAURA FINALLY COMING DOWN TO EARTH!!! KAMAURA ALREADY BY THE ROPES AND HE HANGS ON!!! MONOTOMO KEEPING IT LOCKED IN NONETHELESS!!”

Sully S. Calawag: “One! Two! Three! Four!”

Brad Blood: “Monotomo breaks up the hold just in time!! Flirting with danger there!!”

Jim Jackson: “He does need to be more careful! Monotomo frustrated with himself more than anyone!! As he looks to perhaps relock in that Dragon Hold of his! Monotomo pulling Kamaura into the centre of the ring!! But all that weight is taking time to shift and Ray Kamaura is slowly coming around!! Yuki Monotomo though trying to subdue the big man with some punches to the forehead!! But it’s not working as Kamaura is getting to his feet now!!! Monotomo laying on the punches!!! Still trying to put Kamaura back where he wants him!!”

Brad Blood: “But Ray Kamaura pushes Yuki Monotomo away!! As the giant comes back up to his full height!! Yuki Monotomo trying a kick to the midsection but Kamaura counters as he grabs a hold of Monotomo’s leg mid-air!! And Kamaura with the standing clothesline puts Monotomo hard on his back!!!! Kamaura now bringing Monotomo back up to his feet!! Ray Kamaura has something going on here!!!!!”

Jim Jackson: “WITH THE RIGHT SHOULDER TO THE BACK OF MONOTOMO’S NECK AND NOW HE HAS MONOTOMO BY THE BACK OF HIS LEGS!! PREPARING FOR THE END GAME!!! RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!! RAY KAMAURA SIGNALLING THE END, COULD THIS BE IT?!?!? COULD WE BE LOOKING AT THE NEW NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE PRIMO ULTIMO?!?!???”

Brad Blood: “YUKI MONOTOMO JUST WRIGGLED FREE WHILE KAMAURA WAS POSING!!! WITH THE LEG SWEEP!!! THE BLACK DRAGON HOLD!! THE BLACK DRAGON HOLD!! THAT BLACK DRAGON HOLD LOCKED IN AROUND KAMAURA’S ADAM’S APPLE!!!”

Jim Jackson: “THE KNEE PRESSING INTO THE BACK OF KAMAURA!!!! PUTTING MORE PRESSURE ONTO THE NECK!!! KAMAURA WON’T TAP OUT!!!”

Brad Blood: “It’s not that he won’t!! He doesn’t want to!!!”

Jim Jackson: “Kamaura resisting to tap out through the pain!!! Trying to catch what little air he can get!! Kamaura looking for the ropes but he’s in the middle of nowhere!!! The Primo Ultimo slipping further and further away!!! Yuki Monotomo tightening up that hold even more!! Kamaura turning blue!!”

Brad Blood: “Monotomo’s face says it all!!! The determination!!! And the will not to…”

Jim Jackson: “KAMAURA IS TAPPING OUT!! HE’S TAPPING OUT!!!! MONOTOMO RELEASING THAT HOLD AND CELEBRATING!!! THE RELIEF ON THE FACE OF YUKI MONOTOMO TELLS IT ALL!!!”

Jasmine Lee: “The winner of this matchup and the neeeeew Number One Contender for the Primo Ultimo Championship, Yuuuuukiiiiiii Monotomooooo!!!”

Brad Blood: “Ray Kamaura getting some oxygen back into his lungs!!! And now he’s realised the consequences of losing!! His face one of despair as he watches his long-time friend celebrating the win!! And now it’s turning to one of anger and rage!!! Ray Kamaura seething as he pulls Monotomo around and slams him with a right hand!!!!”

Jim Jackson: “This is going to get out of hand very fast!!”

Brad Blood: “Can you blame him? No title shot for the next year? That’s pretty heavy!!!”

Jim Jackson: “And Kamaura slams Monotomo with the End Game!!!! Ray Kamaura continuing his assault by laying on the punches to face!!! Kamaura exiting the ring and goes straight for a steel chair!! We need security out here!!!”

Brad Blood: “The grounded Monotomo getting slammed with those chair shots!! Kamaura dropping the chair to the canvas and he picks Monotomo up by the neck!! AND THE GAME CHANGER RIGHT TO THE STEEL CHAIR AS KAMAURA SLAMS MONOTOMO DOWN ONTO THE STEEL!!!!”

Jim Jackson: “I think he’s completely out cold!! The strength from that Game Changer right onto the steel chair must’ve been quite something!! Kamaura exiting the ring just as security make their way down!! Ray Kamaura storming up the ramp and leaves the arena while security and paramedics tend to the unconscious body of Yuki Monotomo!! Who knows what the largest man in ULOL will do next? This now is a very volatile situation!!!”

Brad Blood: “I cannot wait to see the fallout of this!!!”

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

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Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

'Map Of The Problematique' by Muse starts playing throughout the arena, suddenly a wall of flames shoot up across the stage floor, after a few moments Raven Connoly emerges through the flames. She has on black spandex pants, a red and black corset, a black cane with a silver dragon design handle resting on her shoulder, and a long black coat that splits at her waist, once in the middle of her back, and on both sides, forming four tails that dance behind her as she approaches the ring. The ULOL Campeón no Masculino is draped over her shoulder. She climbs into the ring as the crowd boo's and hisses, Raven starts to speak not even acknowledging the fans deafening jeers.

Raven Connoly: "Well tonight is the big night, a first blood match for the ULOL Campeón no Masculino with Nao Fook Mi. Apparently Ms. Mi does not know when to stop, but if she want's another beating, well I would be more than happy to give her one. I don't know if you saw what happened last week, but the honorable Nao Fook Mi trashed her locker room. Now smashing furniture and items that don't belong to you does not seem very honorable to me at all. So Nao, how much did it cost to repair all the damage you did last week to those inanimate objects, did it make you feel better to actually be able to beat something?"

Raven laughs to herself as she walks to the side of the ring facing the stage. She leans against the ropes facing towards the stage.

Raven Connoly: "Now what is it that could possibly be getting under your skin Nao? You know clearly your distracted, your heads not in the right place, that may be why you lost those tag titles hun, you're just not focused. Tell you what, since we used to be such good friends, why don't you come out here and tell me about it. You know, some girl talk might help, I can't imagine that partner Little Wang is that helpful, I mean I've never found any use for a Little Wang myself."

Raven smiles as she rolls her head side to the side, then she looks down for a few seconds before slowly lifting her head back up. She now has that evil look in her eyes that the ULOL fans have become all to familiar with. She brings the mic to her lips as she glares at the stages entrance.

Raven Connoly: "Come on Nao, I know your back there listening, and I know your seething, just come on down, let's talk."

Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. She stops at the top of the entrance ramp as the crowd starts chanting "FOOK MI! FOOK MI! FOOK MI!" much to the dismay of Raven Connoly. Fook Mi raises a hand and the crowd settles down.

Nao Fook Mi: "I'm here Raven, and you're right, I was listening and I am seething... Yes I lost control of myself and maybe you are right that I am unfocused right now... But you are wrong with one thing Raven, my partner Little Wang is a big support for me. He may be little in size but his big heart can and has overcome whatever disadvantages his little frame gave him. I am not proud of my actions last week, call it a lapse of judgment and for that I apologize to my fans and to management. I will gladly pay any fines imposed on me and for the damage I've caused. So now let's get down to business."

Fook Mi starts walking down the entrance ramp stopping short outside the ring staring into Raven.

Nao Fook Mi: "You call me out here tonight for some girl talk Raven, so here I am. I can probably guess what you are going to say to me but I'll hear you out."

Fook Mi lowers the mic and stares up at Raven Connoly.

Raven Connoly: "Well, it's good to see everyone is still on your side Nao. You see, you are distracted, but it's not because of me, it's because of all of these stupid fans. I keep trying to tell you but you just don't listen. As we all know it was not that long ago when I was miss honorable as well, and that held me back. When your in this ring your shackled by your morale's and honor. You have to worry to appease all of them, you have to constantly watch yourself and make sure everything you do will please the masses, that everything you do will be acceptable to them. Your holding yourself back Nao, the minute you stop worrying about everyone else, the minute you can do whatever it takes to win."

Raven brushes her hair out of her face and then points at Nao with her cane.

Raven Connoly: "Now I know what your going to say, 'I'd rather be honorable and true to myself with no title, if I have to turn into what you've become to get one, blah, blah, fucking blah!' Really, that is fine with me, because that helps me out, it makes beating you so much easier. You know, your blood is really going to pop against your pale face. I only hope for your sake you bust open early, because my goal tonight is to put you out of commission for quite some time Nao."

The oriental beauty calms herself despite her urge to want to jump into the ring and attack Raven Connoly.

Nao Fook Mi: "You can try Raven, you say you will put me out of commission, I say no matter what you do tonight, I'll be back in your face the following week and the next and the next. I will be there until you see the errors of your ways and repent for your actions."

Fook Mi breathes a heavy sigh before continuing.

Nao Fook Mi: "Right now, I seriously want to get inside the ring and slap you silly but I shall wait for our match later tonight so be ready when I unleash everything I have on you Raven. All my pent up rage, all my frustrations, I shall turn them into my weapon tonight. A weapon that will finally put you in your place and win me that belt that you are wearing. Tonight will be for the fans, it will be for our sport and lastly it will be for myself."

Fook Mi drops the mic and walks back up the ramp, her arm up in the air as the crowd cheers loudly for her.

Raven Connoly: "Big shock, Nao is once again walking away, but of course she can hold her head high, because she is oh so honorable. You have to excuse me if your words don't convince me, you talk a tough game, but when it comes down to it, you don't have what it takes to win this match Nao. There's a fine line between honorable......, and cowardice, these fans can get behind you all they want, it won't help, because your a coward Nao! That's why I have this title, and you..., you have nothing but empty cheers. You haven't beat me yet, tonight will be no different."

Raven laughs maniacally as she drops the mic and lifts the ULOL Campeón no Masculino above her head. Nao Fook Mi pauses for a moment as she reaches the stage, she clenches her fist and tenses up, then she shakes her head slightly and continues back stage. An evil smile crawls over Ravens face as she glares at the stage, still holding the belt over her head as the scene fades to black.

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

The familiar blue 1969 Shleby Mustang Cobra GT500 rolls into the parking lot in full speed, it swerves and drifts right into an empty parking space perfectly before stopping fully as the tires screeches on the pavement. The door swings open and out steps the charismatic crippler, Colton Charles Cai Cobb. Just then Lex Lexington rushes over with a cameraman.

Lex Lexington: "Mr. Cobb, do you have a few moments of your time?"

Colton Charles Cai Cobb scoffs at Lex Lexington and ignores the ULOL interviewer as he brushes past him. He then stops and looks back at a stupefied Lex Lexington.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "You know what, you can have a few moments of my time but you will not ask me any questions, in fact you will just listen to what I have to say."

C4 shoves Lex Lexington off screen as he forcibly takes the mic gesturing for the cameraman to do a close-up.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Tonight, I will be in a match. A match for the ULOL Boleto Dorado, the golden ticket which rightfully belongs to the golden boy of wrestling, ME! Yes, I Colton Charles Cai Cobb shall undeniably best nine other men and win the Boleto Dorado tonight. Why? It's because the foolish authority figures have booked me against lesser men. That is right, lesser men who cannot possibly even come close to my magnificence. So keep your eyes on the true superstar tonight, keep your eyes on Colton Charles Cai Cobb."

With that, Colton Charles Cai Cobb throws the mic, spins around and walks off leaving a stupefied and humiliated Lex Lexington in the dust as the screen fades to black.

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens backstage where we see Lex Lexington standing beside Little Wang.

Lex Lexington: "Good evening everyone, we are fortunate enough to have tonight with us one half of Oriental Spices, Little Wang! Thank you for your time Mr. Wang, now if you don't mind, I'll start off the interview."

Little Wang seems to be in good spirits as he replies to Lex.

Little Wang: "Always a pleasure Lex, ask away, I'll try to answer to the best of my abilities."

Lex nods and starts off the interview.

Lex Lexington: "You are booked in a greased pole match for the ULOL Boleto Dorado tonight where you face nine other opponents which include heavy hitters like Boy Bakla, Shogun Shogunsen, Jim Rival, Taufik, Colton Charles Cai Cobb just to name a few, do you think you will be able to best them tonight and earn the coveted golden ticket?"

Little Wang confidently replies.

Little Wang: "Well underdogs do win Lex, I am proof of that. The greased pole match will definitely be a challenge but unlike regular matches you do not need technical skills nor power to scale the greased pole, I reckon I have a fair shot of winning the Bolero Dorado as any other wrestler in the ring tonight."

Lex nods and continues on to the next question

Lex Lexington: "Do you have any strategy tonight? Any secret technique to help you gain the advantage? Would you want to share your game plan to our viewers tonight?"

Little Wang smiles as he replies to Lex.

Little Wang: "Does the sun rises every morning? Of course I have a game plan... But I think I'd rather keep it a secret, I wouldn't want my opponents to know how I plan to win."

Little Wang winks at Lex who laughs a little as he proceeds to the next question.

Lex Lexington: "Well the next question I have is in regards to your partner Nao Fook Mi. We have noticed that her mental state these past few weeks have become... Erratic... Is there..."

Little Wang raises his hand and interrupts Lex Lexington.

Little Wang: "Sorry to interrupt you Lex, but I don't have the right to answer for Fook Mi. All I can say is that I'll be here for her and be her support. She is going through a tough time and it is my duty as her tag partner and friend to be there for her just as she would for me if I were in her shoes now."

Lex nods and respects Little Wang's reply.

Lex Lexington: "Well said... Well said... I guess that wraps up our little interview session, thank you for your time Mr. Wang and good luck on your match later."

Little Wang: "Your welcome Lex and thank you."

The interview ends as the scene fades to black.

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Sun Sep 25, 2011 12:37 pm

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Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a first blood match, and is for the ULOL Campeón no Masculino! Introducing first, the challenger Nao Fook Mi!"

Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. She quickly makes her way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. She bows and gives her respect to the crowd before heading to her corner.

Jim Jackson: "Nao Fook Mi has had a rough few weeks, and it can all be attributed to her opponent tonight, Raven Connoly. Nao is looking to put Raven in her place tonight."

Brad Blood: "Yeah, but you don't have to be an expert to see Nao Fook Mi is slowly breaking down, Raven is getting in her head."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, the ULOL Campeón no Masculino, Raven Connoly!"

'Map Of The Problematique' by Muse starts playing throughout the arena, suddenly a wall of flames shoot up across the stage floor, after a few moments Raven Connoly emerges through the flames. She has on black spandex pants, a red and black corset, a black cane with a silver dragon design handle resting on her shoulder, and a long black coat that splits at her waist, once in the middle of her back, and on both sides, forming four tails that dance behind her as she approaches the ring.

Jim Jackson: "As we all know Raven has taken a much darker road recently, and she seems intent on forcing Nao Fook Mi down that road as well. Tonight she defends the belt that many feel Nao Fook Mi was cheated out of in the last PPV."

Brad Blood: "Whatever, they can say what the want, Raven's hand was raised by the referee. If you don't like it, blame the ref, not Raven."

Jim Jackson: "Well, I guess we have to agree to disagree on this one Brad. As we heard, this is a First Blood match, the only way you can win is to make your opponent bleed. It should also be noted that this is not a No DQ match, any foreign objects are banned. You have to win this match by making your opponent bleed with your bare hands."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble, LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven and Nao Fook Mi approach each other and stare each other down. Raven with a slap to Nao's face, a clear sign of disrespect, and Nao clearly see's it the same way. Nao responds with a Lou Thesz Press and starts punching away at Raven, right to her skull."

Brad Blood: "Those look like closed fists to me, maybe Jack B. Nimble needs to do his damn job. Raven blocks a punch and headbutts Nao sending her backwards. Raven rushes in with a stiff kick to Nao Fook Mi's chest. Come on now, that should be a disqualification, she could damage those nice tits of Nao's"

Jim Jackson: "That's certainly professional Brad. Nao Fook Mi catches Raven with a sweep kick knocking Raven to the mat. Fook Mi jumps up and bounces off the ropes and crushes Raven with a huge leg drop. Nao drags Raven to her feet and Irish whips her into the turnbuckle."

Brad Blood: "Fook Mi charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. A kick from Raven is delivered to the leg. Raven grabs Naos head and shoves her into the ropes. Raven grinding Nao's face into the ropes. Nao needs to think fast, that is definitely going to wear down the skin. Nao elbows Raven in the ribs, she hits her with another elbow and Raven releases her grasp. Nao spins around and nails Raven with a punch to her face. Damn, that was a huge blow, Raven is reeling from that one."

Jim Jackson: "Nao does not waste any time, hitting Raven with a huge double ax handle, knocking Raven to the ground. Nao swoops in and locks Raven into a camel clutch, Fook Mi really has that hold locked in. This is a First Blood match though, a submission won't win this."

Brad Blood: "It would appear Nao just realized that, she releases her grasp and grabs Ravens head, JESUS!! Nao starts slamming Ravens face against the mat. Raven manages to get a hold of Naos leg and yanks sending Nao to the mat. Raven gets Nao in a headlock, and now she is digging her nails into Nao's forehead, Nao needs to get out of this fast."

Jim Jackson: "Nao breaks free but Raven hits a spinning back kick, followed by a knee lift from Raven. *sigh* Running knee lifts always remind me of the late Curt Hennig."

Brad Blood: "Why don't you just cry about it Jim, you friggin pussy! Fook Mi reverses a Raven Connoly hammerlock. Fook Mi locks with Raven, and she lifts her in the air, a perfect suplex from Nao, and Raven hit that mat hard!"

Jim Jackson: "Power drive elbow by Nao Fook Mi. Nao pulls Raven to her feet and whips her into the corner. Nao rushes into the corner and nails Raven with a elbow smash to the face. Nao climbs up on to the second rope and starts nailing Raven in the head with punch after punch. Nao climbs onto the top rope, what does she have in mind here."

Brad Blood: "Doesn't matter, because Raven just caught her, Raven has Fook Mi on her shoulders. MMMM, wonder what that smells like?"

Jim Jackson: "GOD BRAD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!! Raven with a power bomb on Fook Mi, and Nao is laid out, Raven falls into the ropes, and she has that evil look in her eyes as she locks onto Nao as she struggles to get to her feet, Raven charges Nao. GOOD GOD, NAO CATCHES RAVEN WITH A SPEAR OUT OF NO WHERE!! Raven got all of that spear, she may be out."

Brad Blood: "Nao Pulls Raven up and starts pounding her fist into Ravens skull. She is determined to draw some blood here. Raven reaches up and rakes her nails down Fook Mis eyes. Nao stumbles backwards as Raven gets to her feet. Fook Mi catches Raven and hurls her into the turnbuckle, RAVENS HEAD SLAMS INTO THE STEEL POLE!!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven is clutching her forehead, Jack B Nimble goes in to check, but as he does Raven whips around, her elbow hits Jack B Nimble and he falls to the mat, Jack B Nimble is out. Raven lowers her hands, SHE'S BLEEDING, SHE'S BLEEDING, IT'S A SMALL CUT BUT THERE IS BLOOD!!"

Brad Blood: "Yeah, but the ref is out, Nao see's the blood, she goes to try and revive the ref, UH OH, Raven has that look, god damn that glare is oure evil. Raven runs up to Nao and kicks her in the stomach and then hurls Fook Mi out of the ring and onto the arena floor, Nao is hurt."

Jim Jackson: "This is an outrage, Nao should be the winner. Raven slides out of the ring, what is she doing, shes digging under the ring. What does she have? It a towel, she's wiping off the blood, she has something else, what is that, Vaseline!?"

Brad Blood: "Oh, so that's where I left it.., uhm, I mean why is that there!? Raven rubs some on the cut, she probably learned this trick from her Dad, he was a boxer back in his early days. The Vaseline has stopped the bleeding."

Jim Jackson: "This is unbelievable, get another ref out here, someone do something. Raven walks around the ring towards Nao, Raven pulls her up and then whips her into the steel steps! Raven grabs Nao and tosses her back into the ring. Now Raven is reaching into her boot, she's taking something out, what is that."

Brad Blood: "That is a straight razor Jim, this is going to be sweet! Raven grabs Nao's hair and pulls her head out over the edge of the ring. RAVEN TAKES THE RAZOR AND SLICES NAO'S FOREHEAD WIDE OPEN!!! Nao clutches her forehead and rolls into the ring, Raven tosses the razor under the ring and slides into the ring, look at that evil grin she has!"

Jim Jackson: "My god, Nao's forehead is gushing blood. Wait, Jack B Nimble is back to his feet! The referee sees blood, and this match is over!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match, and still ULOL Campeón no Masculino, Raven Connoly!"

Brad Blood: "OH WOW! Nao Fook Mi gives a murderous look toward Raven Connoly...and attacks! Raven gets dropped to the canvas, then battered with a barrage of rights and lefts. Fook Mi picks her up...and launches her over the top rope to the outside. I've never seen this look in Nao's eyes, shes snapped!"

Jim Jackson: "I don't blame her, Nao grabs a steel chair and walks over to Raven who is struggling to get to her feet. Nao lifts the chair up and nails Raven across the back with it, she raises it up again and brings it back down hard!"

Brad Blood: "Wait, here comes Nao's partner Little Wang running down the ramp. He runs in between Nao and Raven, Nao stops in mid swing and looks at Wang."

Little Wang: "NAO STOP!! This isn't the way to do this, this isn't you!"

Jim Jackson: "Nao looks at Wang, her eyes are piercing with rage Brad. She lifts the chair back above her head!"

Little Wang: "NAO, LISTEN TO ME NOW!! This is what she wants, if you do this then she wins, she wins! You're better than this, you're better than her, you proved it tonight, let it go. Walk away, don't go down this road."

Brad Blood: "She's still thinking about it, DO IT NAO, DO IT!! WHAT!?! Nao drops the chair and falls to her knees, are those tears. THERE'S NO CRYING IN WRESTLING!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Shut up Brad, Little Wang helps Nao to her feet and they make there way to the ramp, the crowd is chanting Nao's name, Nao is walking away the true winner tonight!"

Brad Blood: "Then why doesn't she have the ULOL Campeón no Masculino? Look, Raven is back on her feet. Raven grabs the belt and pulls her self into the ring. She can barley walk, she pulls herself up onto the ropes and props herself against the turnbuckle. She lifts the belt over her head, and she's frigging laughing, Raven is fucking crazy."

Jim Jackson: "You can say that again, I have a feeling this is far from over."

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

The Camera fades from black to show the ULOL Campeónes Compañero titles hanging from hangers in a locker which could mean only one thing. We are in the locker room of the Current Tag team champions, Allister King & Shadow Callahan, The Northern Kings. The Camera rotates to show the northern kings (minus Samantha King who is busy at the moment over at the sanctuary) sitting having a cigarette on a bench discussing their match.

Shadow Callahan: "Tonight, a Triple threat TLC match for the Campeónes Compañero titles. Tables, Ladders and Chairs, so you know its going to be brutal."

Allister King: "Wait we are in the wrong place to assume that it is Tables, Ladders and Chairs. For all we know it will be Tea, Liquor and Cupcakes. Or Toes, Legs and Chests. All we got to go is expect the unexpected."

Shadow Callahan: "That is a saying I have never been able to understand. I mean how can you expect that which is unexpected? If you do expect it then its not unexpected, its just expected. And the unexpected can be literally be anything imaginable like a 20 ft. rainbow colored cow with shoots laser beams from its eyes and can fly up to mach 3."

Allister King: "You sure that is a cigarette there? From the way you're talking it seems like you found Willie Nelson's secret stash."

Allister and Shadow but smell the smoke coming from the supposed cigarette

Shadow Callahan: "Yeah, its a cigarette."

Allister King: "Well that's good! We don't want you stoned off your fucking tits for this match. I just hope the match isn't Tigers, Lions and Cougars. I hate them after that one time."

Shadow Callahan: "Ya mean the time you took acid and went to the zoo? That was hilarious, you walked into the lions cage thinking it was a shortcut to the toilets."

Allister King: "Luckily for me, even a lion can't take a fucking kick to the balls."

Shadow Callahan:" I still dont understand how you ended up in the monkey cages?"

Allister King: Does were monkeys? I thought it was your family reunion. BURRRN!!

Shadow Callahan: "Well at least my da doesn't take it up the ass by your ma with a strap-on."

Allister King: "Good one!"

Shadow Callahan: "Thanks."

Allister King: "Think we have enough time for a coffee before our match?"

Shadow Callahan: "Buckets of time."

Allister King: "Let's go."

Allister and Shadow both stub out their cigarettes before grabbing their titles and leaving the locker room. The camera fades to black but you can still hear allister.

Allister King: "Your ma's the black beast of Arrgh!"

Shadow Callahan: "That sucked."

Allister King: "You suck! You suck more than Paris Hilton."

Shadow Callahan: "Nice."

The Camera completely goes silent and black ending the segment

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

Jim is seen sitting on a box in the back, looking down to the now burnt out cigarette resting between his finger tips. After the long moment of studying the tobacco product he flicks it to the floor before looking to the camera.

Jim Rival: "Tonight is the night, the night where the Light shines brightest. When I go out there and win this match with these odd stipulations I will be one step closer to getting what is rightfully mine. While others there are just trying to make a name for themselves, to get noticed, or just intent on keeping another from getting what they want it will not matter. None of it will."

Jim paused for a moment, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a new cigarette. Taking his time to light it he looked over his custom made Zippo lighter before placing it away along with the cigarette case. He took his time inhaling the first drag before exhaling the smoke through his nose as he turned his attention back to the camera.

Jim Rival: "I will leave the night with the golden ticket, and with it show everyone why the Lights shines brightest on me."

With that Jim stood up and walked off, leaving the cameraman to watch him as the scene faded to black.

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

The Camera opens up to show the face of a fearsome wolf which means that this is the locker room of Aurora Borealis.

Aurora Borealis: "Quelle sorte de mascarade est-ce? Pourquoi suis une belle femme comme moi, à livrer concurrence dans un tel match dégoûtante et vulgaire? Que pensez-vous de cela?"
(TL: what kind of travesty is this? Why am a beautiful woman such as I, forced to compete in such a disgusting and vulgar match? What do you think about this?)

The wolves growl

Aurora Borealis: "Je savais que tu serais d'accord avec moi. Mais malheureusement il est trop tard pour se plaindre. Mais le butin de la victoire valent l'embarras de ce match. Le gagnant reçoit la possibilité d'avoir une chance au titre quand on veut. Si je peux juste vaincre ces barbares, l'or précieux doit être autour de ma taille élégante."
(TL: I knew you would agree with me. But unfortunately it's too late to complain. But the Spoils of victory are worth the embarrassment of this match. The winner receives the opportunity to have a title shot whenever one wishes. If I can just defeat these barbarians, the precious gold shall be around my elegant waist.)

The wolves rub up against the legs of Aurora

Aurora Borealis: "Laissez-nous préparer pour ce match de catch dite. Et cette salope mieux de ne pas obtenir dans ma façon, si elle sait ce qui est bon pour elle. Elle peut avoir des attaques mon serviteur et je ne vais pas laisser passer ça sur le punis."
(TL: Let us prepare for this so called wrestling match. And that bitch better not get in my way if she knows what's good for her. She may have attack my servant and I will not let this go on punished.)

The wolves begin to growl as Aurora has a look of pure evil in her eyes. The camera fades to black as the wolves howl

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens with Brostar and Fettel Marston talking and about their upcoming three way TLC match for the Tag Titles against Goodfella & Felix and the champs The Northern Kings.

Brostar: "So Fettel, ready? We have Goodfella & Felix and Allister & Shadow."

He asks as he and Fettel walk through backstage.

Brostar: "We have been teaming together for only a couple of weeks and all of our matches, we have lost them all due to miscommunication. We better start getting better with teaming up with each other if we want to come out of the TLC match with titles, so what do you think our plan should be for tonight?"

He says as he waits for Fettel to reply to his question.

Fettel is stretching his arms as he makes his way down the hallway. The personality of "Dad" doesn't seem to be phased by the upcoming title match. He stops briefly as he stretches his calves.

Dad: Well miscommunication has indeed been the flaw. We have the power, technique and speed. But in tag matches that is nothing if you cannot actually work together with your partner. It is no fault of your own Brostar! I think both you and Fettel are inexperienced with the tag team side of things! It takes time and you both shall grasp it in time!

Fettel's expression changes to one of dread and he begins to bite his lip.

Fettel Marston: "What about our plan for tonight?"

Dad: "Our plan? Our plan should be what ... stop biting your lip boy! Our plan should be what we did in the Number One Contenders match! We were just beaten to the punch!! Our brief excellent teamwork in that match got us that far in ... if you guys can get to that level once again and add to that your determination to win tonight then that title will be ours!!!"

Fettel Marston: "Right! And communication right?"

Dad: "It! Is! Key!!! As I have said without it we won't get anywhere! Talk for the whole match if you have to! Encourage your team mate! Work with your team mate! Support your team mate! Notice how they all basically mean the same! Encourage, work with and support! You two have to work on this if you want this team to function properly!"

Brostar: "We will, tonight we will win those titles no matter what, I want to get back on the winning track, I'm sure you want to get on your winning track, and there is no better way to do so with having those titles around our waist."

He says as they stop by the entrance tunnel.

Brostar: "This time we will have a better communication, and will do whatever it takes to get those belts, now lets go out there and send message to the whole tag team division, that is loud and clear."

He says as they make their way through the tunnel and the scene fades away.

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Sun Sep 25, 2011 12:38 pm

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Jim Jackson: "The next match is a TLC match for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero."

Brad Blood: "And in ULOL, TLC NEVER MEANS TABLES ,LADDERS AND CHAIRS! I wonder what it is this time... I mean look at the ring set-up... There are webbings in between the ropes."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a TLC match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first they are the current and reigning ULOL Campeónes Compañero, the team of Allister King and Shadow Callahan accompanied by Samantha King, The Northern Kings!"

Blue and Red lights shine throughout the arena as Edguy's "Robin Hood" begins to play. Allister King and Shadow Callahan, accompanied by Samantha King, walk out onto the entrance ramp to a thunderous roar of the crowd. They pose on the top of the ramp as white pyrotechnics begin to rain down behind them. They continue to walk down to the ring, smiling to the crowd. Allister high fives a few off the audience members before sliding into the ring. Shadow and Samantha just casually walk up the steps and into the ring. They poses once more for the crowd, They hand Samantha all of the excess attire and Shadow places his cane in the corner. Samantha King then exits the ring and sits down in a special seat reserved for her near the announce table.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, the team of Arnold "GoodFella" Bold and Felix Schwarz, GoodFella & Schwarz!"

"Fire Flame" by Birdman starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again and Felix and Arnold are standing in the middle of the ring and waving to their fans.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing last, the team of Brostar and Fettel Marston, Brostar & Marston!"

"Show Goes On" by Lupe Fiasco plays as Brostar comes out and raises his hands as he walks down the ramp and runs into the ring, he goes up to the second turnbuckle raises his hands again, then he jumps off with a backflip.

"The Devil's Own" by Five Finger Death Punch plays as Fettel Marston appears waving to the crowd. He walks down to the ring slapping fans' hands as he goes. He slides under the bottom rope to the enter the ring and proceeds to climb a turnbuckle where he poses by flexing his muscles. He walks over to another turnbuckle on the opposite side and this time poses by simply raising his arms in the air.

Jim Jackson: "It seems a giant cage is getting lowered around the ring area.... What the?"

Brad Blood: "Now dogs are being released to the outside area of the ring..."

Jasmine Lee: "The TLC match tonight means Terriers, Labradors and Chihuahuas! The dogs have been starved for three days! Whoever falls to the outside of the ring shall be dog food unless he can get himself back into the ring. The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! All six men are now nervously looking around as they hear loud barking outside the ring... This is just insane... Brostar takes initiative charges into Shadow Callahan who is in the corner, but he EATS BOOT instead and staggers backward! Allister King takes him down with a big boot! Fettel Marston on the other hand is clinging on the ropes as GoodFella & Schwarz are trying to flip him over to the snapping maws of the hungry dogs."

Brad Blood: "What the?! Marston intentionally just reached out his arm right into the range of a leaping chihuahua! The chihuahua leaps and bites into Marston's arm... Marston kicks Schwarz back and leaps back into the ring. He peels the chihuahua off his arms... AND THROWS IT AT GOODFELLA'S FACE!!! GoodFella screams in pain as the little chihuahua gnaws on his face!"

Jim Jackson: "The Northern Kings are working on Brostar in the corner. Double suplex! Brostar hits the mat hard, Allister King hooks the leg... Fettel Marston breaks the pinfall! Felix Schwarz kicks Marston in the guts and plants his face into the canvas with a running bulldog. The Northern Kings grab Schwarz... Double chokeslam! Shadow Callahan hooks the leg... Arnold "GoodFella" Bold manages to pull the dog off his face and throws it over the top rope!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Good save by GoodFella! King charges in with a clothesline, GoodFella ducks and counters with a neckbreaker! GoodFella & Schwarz with a double team... Double DDT on Callahan! The former champs are on a roll!"

Jim Jackson: "Brostar with a springboard crossbody... Intercepted by a double dropkick by GoodFella & Schwarz! The experience of the former champs are proving to be invaluable here tonight. Fettel Marston comes in... Double clothesline by the GoodFella & Schwarz takes him down. GoodFella & Schwarz have cleaned house!"

Brad Blood: "GoodFella & Schwarz picks Allister King up... OH MY GOD! THEY JUST THREW HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE AND INTO THE DOGS!!! THE DOGS ARE GOING CRAZY BITING INTO ALLISTER KING'S SAUSAGE!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Oh that is just nasty... Allister King for some weird reason has a link of sausage stuffed down his tights, he manages to pull them out and throw them into the dogs allowing him ample time to climb the cage wall outside... Seriously who would put a link of sausage in his tights?!"

Brad Blood: "Those sausage links sure saved Allister King from eunuch-dom. GoodFella & Schwarz are busy double teaming Shadow Callahan they don't notice King leaping from the cage wall into the ropes..."

Jim Jackson: "Springboard dropkick sends both GoodFella & Schwarz stumbling to the canvas! Wait! Brostar & Marston with a great double team hits a double springboard spin kick on Allister King! Shadow Callahan tries to attack but Brostar & Marston with a double enziguri takes him down! Brostar goes high risk... Senton splash connects! Marston also climbs up the corner... GoodFella & Schwarz trips his legs and he falls right on his groin!"

Brad Blood: "Oh that has got to hurt... I guess someone may not need a vasectomy... Double superkick by GoodFella & Schwarz takes Brostar down! GoodFella for the cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Brostar kicks out! Felix Schwarz picks Brostar up on his shoulders... Allister King with a spinning side kick hits Schwarz right on the chest! Brostar leaps off Schwarz and hits a knee out of nowhere taking Arnold "GoodFella" Bold down! Shadow Callahan leaps to the corner where Fettel Marston is resting his groin on... SUPERPLEX!!! That shook the ring. Callahan for the cover..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Marston kicks out! Callahan can't believe it! The Northern Kings concentrate on Marston as they bring him up for a double delayed vertical suplex... GoodFella & Schwarz attack The Northern Kings interrupting the double team attempt!"

Jim Jackson: "Irish whip by GoodFella & Schwarz sends The Northern Kings crashing into each other. Felix Schwarz hits a faceplant on Shadow Callahan while Arnold "GoodFella" Bold slams Allister King into the mat. Brostar with a springboard headscissors... He flings Schwarz over the top rope!"

Brad Blood: "Schwarz screams out loud as the dogs attack him! GoodFella throwing caution out the window leaps into the dogs in a valiant attempt to save his partner! Whoa! GoodFella is just kicked a terrier into a labrador! Double axe handle on another terrier and a punt to a chihuahua and he makes it to his partner's side!"

Jim Jackson: "It seems both The Northern Kings and Brostar & Marston stopped fighting each other as they watch GoodFella & Schwarz battle the dogs. Despite the odds, GoodFella & Schwarz manages to battle their way to the ring, the reach the apron. In an act of good sportsmanship, The Northern Kings offer their hands to GoodFella and Schwarz who gladly accepts them."

Brad Blood: "WAHAHAHA!!! GoodFella & Schwarz pulls The Northern Kings over the top rope and literally fed them to the dogs! That's what you get for playing goody two shoes!"

Jim Jackson: "Brostar & Marston charges at GoodFella & Schwarz and a four men brawl ensues. The Northern Kings are valiantly fighting for their lives outside. This time it seems that Allister King doesn't have anymore sausages other than the one connected in-between his thighs... Wait Samantha King just threw two chairs over the cage wall... Shadow Callahan grabs a chair and tosses one to his partner. They are now keeping the dogs at bay with the steel chairs."

Brad Blood: "Good save by Samantha there. Meanwhile it looks like Brostar & Marston are holding their own against GoodFella & Schwarz... The brawling looks pretty even at this point..."

Jim Jackson: "Arnold "GoodFella" Bold with an eye rake blinds Brostar before taking him down with a clothesline. GoodFella turns around and charges towards Fettel Marston who is busy with Felix Schwarz... Marston somehow senses him and leaps out of the way and GoodFella spears his own partner! Sprinboard reverse DDT by Marston plants GoodFella on the mat! Marston for the cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "GoodFella kicks out! Man that was a close one... Wait! The Northern Kings manages to fight their way back into the ring apron... The ditch the chairs and leaps back into the ring. Marston gets hit with a double knee to the guts followed by a double forward slam!"

Jim Jackson: "The Northern Kings look pretty peeved at GoodFella & Schwarz... Shadow Callahan has Felix Schwarz in a full Nelson while Allister King punches away at his guts. Brostar hits a frogsplash on GoodFella. Fettel Marston flies... Standing shooting star press!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Allister King stomps at Marston breaking the three count. Brostar charges at King, King dodges and hits a spinning backfist sending Brostar reeling. Marston charges at King... King sidesteps and throws Marston over the top rope! Marston lands on the ring apron as a hungry labrador bites into the heel of his boots. Brostar charges at King, King dodges and trips Brostar right into his own partner! Felix falls off the aprons into the dogs!"

Jim Jackson: "Arnold "GoodFella" Bold grabs Brostar and throws him over the top rope too! Now both members of Brostar & Marston are fighting off the dogs. Big uppercut by King stuns GoodFella, he Irish whips GoodFella into Felix Schwarz who is still being restrained by Shadow Callahan."

Brad Blood: "Brostar and Marston somehow made their way to the cage wall and starts climbing out of the dogs' reach. A terrier leaps and bites Brostar one last time on the ass but Brostar wiggles his butt free! Both Brostar and Marston makes it to the top of the cage and decides to stay there instead out of the dogs' reach."

Jim Jackson: " Allister King with a powerslam on Arnold "GoodFella" Bold... Shadow Callahan with a powerbomb on Felix Schwarz... RIGHT ON TOP OF GOODFELLA! The Northern Kings seem to have things under control. Shadow Callahan for the cover..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Whoa! Schwarz kicks out! The Northern Kings are in disbelief. They set GoodFella & Schwarz for a double Irish whip... REVERSED! The Northern Kings are sent crashing into each other instead!"

Jim Jackson: "Arnold "GoodFella" Bold with an Irish whip on Allister King... SPINEBUSTER! Felix Schwarz meanwhile has Shadow Callahan in a headlock... Sliced Bread #2! GoodFella & Schwarz sends Allister King into the ropes, they charge towards Allister King and hits him with a double clothesline flipping him into the air! IT'S THE DRIVE-BY SHOOTING! GoodFella & Schwarz hit their finisher on King! GoodFella hooks the leg..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "WHAT THE?! BROSTAR WITH A SUICIDE DIVE LANDS SMACK ON GOODFELLA AND KING BREAKING THE THREE COUNT! MAN THE CROWD IS ON THEIR FEET!"

Jim Jackson: "But that move also took it's toll on Brostar's body he is not moving at all after that. Felix Schwarz uses this opportunity to cover Brostar..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "HOLY ELEPHANT DUNG! NOW MARSTON TAKES A SUICIDE DIVE AND TAKES OUT BOTH SCHWARZ AND HIS OWN PARTNER! Man everybody is down inside the ring!"

Jim Jackson: "Wait! Shadow Callahan seems to be stirring taking the least damage of the six wrestlers... He slowly makes his way to his feet... He notices everyone is down..."

Brad Blood: "He goes for the cover on Felix Schwarz! This could be it!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "THE NORTHERN KINGS WIN! THE NORTHERN KING WINS!!!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man... What a match! What a match!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall and STILL your ULOL Campeónes Compañero, Allister King and Shadow Callahan, THE NORTHERN KINGS!"

Jim Jackson: "In a grueling and brutal match The Northern Kings reigned supreme and came out the victor retaining their titles. What a match! What a match!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man I'm sure everyone will be talking about this match after tonight."

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

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Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens in the locker room of ULOL's transsexual superstar Boy Bakla. Bakla paces around the locker room for a while before looking straight into the camera.

Boy Bakla: "Tonight, I get a shot at the ULOL Boleto Dorado, a golden ticket for a shot at any title here in the ULOL! But also in the same match tonight I shall face Shogun Shogunsen, lackey of that old bag Eunice P. Winslow... Well I have a surprise for little Shoggie tonight."

Bakla starts laughing...

Boy Bakla: "Be prepared Shoggie, for even if it costs me the Boleto Dorado, I shall also make sure you don't win it."

With that, Bakla reaches out and grabs the camera pulling it downwards as the scene goes to static before the feed gets cut.

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

"Shut Me Up" by Mindless Self Indulgence erupts over the arena speakers. After a few moments Connoly walks out onto the stage, he is wearing a green plaid kilt, white t-shirt, and a long black leather coat. He pauses on the top of the ramp, the Correa Grande Del Oro De Connoly over his shoulder. He makes his way down the ramp as he scans the crowd with a serious look on his face. He climbs into the ring and begins to speak.

Connoly: "Last week, that decomposing bag of puss Zombie decided to wreck my car. Now, I was pretty irritated last week, and I'm still slightly irritated tonight. However, I'm more disappointed than anything. You see as much as I would love to cave in Scabby's skull, I've always respected the fact that he never backed down from a fight. Yet, last week, rather than coming and finding me and confronting me like a man, he goes and smashes my car like a coward."

Connoly takes the Correa Grande Del Oro De Connoly off his shoulder and holds it above his head.

Connoly: "Tonight we have a hardcore match for this belt, and sadly Zombie, you have to fight me for it, and not my car. Now, neither of us are strangers to hardcore Zombie, let's face it, we are probably two of the most bad-ass, hardcore wrestlers on this roster. My body is covered with scars to prove it. So we are going to beat the living hell out of each other tonight, and of course I will walk away still the Correa Grande Del Oro champion. Now if you want to walk away at all Scabby, you better make sure the coward who trashed my car last week, doesn't show up tonight!"

Creeping Death by Metallica blasts through the arena and Zombie appears at the top of the ramp. He walks down the ramp watching Connoly carefully. Zombie snaps his teeth at the people in the front row and then walks up the steps to enter the ring. He walks past Connoly and grabs a microphone. He steps up to Connoly.

Zombie: "You're right! It was cowardly! I tried looking for you but I obviously didn't try hard enough! So I took the easy way and decided to trash your car! But you don't see the lazy zombie from last week standing in front of you!! This zombie is ready for tonight! As you have said we are the toughest of the tough! The most badass wrestlers in this roster!! Tonight will decide exactly WHO is best and we will do it in the most perfect match!"

Zombie licks his lips and smiles.

Zombie: "And once I've beaten you into the ground and personally chucked you into your own grave maybe I'll have some of that Irish blood for myself!!"

Connoly laughs and shakes his head.

Connoly: "You know what Scabby, why are we wasting our time talking?"

Connoly takes the belt off his shoulder and drops it onto the mat and takes his coat and T-shirt off.

Connoly: "Let's not waste any more time. GET ME A REF OUT HERE NOW SO I CAN BREAK THIS PUNK IN HALF!!!"

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

VS

Jim Jackson: “Well just like all our matches here tonight, this one is another that is about to blow your mind! A Hardcore match for the Correa Grande Del Oro De Connoly! And yes you’ve guessed it Connoly is the champion of this particular title! And he will be waging war on the undead monster that is Zombie! And it will be one hell of a war!! Both of these competitors have both previously been in battles of epic proportions! Both of these wrestlers know what it takes to win here tonight in such a brutal matchup!!”

Brad Blood: “Maaan I just cannot wait to see what these guys will do to each other!! Blood and guts and gore and just about everything around here or backstage will be used as a lethal weapon! I think I’m about to jizz with excitement!!”

Jim Jackson: “Ooookaaay! Well while you sexually finish yourself off to an Irishman and a Zombie who are about to fight hardcore style lets get on with the match but first over to our very own Jasmine Lee!!”

Jasmine Lee: “The following matchup is a Hardcore match and it is for the Correa Grande Del Oro De Connoly!! Introducing first, the challenger, Zombie!!”

Jasmine Lee: “And introducing the Correa Grande champion, Connoly!!”

Jim Jackson: “Both of these guys looking about ready to tear each other apart!”

Jasmine Lee: “The referee for this matchup will be Jack B. Nimble!! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!!!”

Jim Jackson: “And this match gets underway to a roar of cheers of our excited fans for this spectacle! Connoly diving straight in with a series of hard punches! Connoly here with some hatred for the undead being he faces!! Hoping to get some payback after Zombie trashed his car!!”

Brad Blood: “I was glad he did that!! Just one way to pour fuel on the fire!!”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly backing Zombie up in the corner of the ring!! Still firing those punches!! Zombie taking the hits and now he’s lashing back with some of his own!! But it looks like he is trying and failing!! Connoly not having any of it with a boot to the leg!! Zombie brought down to his knees and Connoly laying on his offensive!!”

Brad Blood: “Connoly now seemingly trying to rip Zombie’s head off with a headlock!! Trying to squeeze whatever life Zombie still has if any! Zombie with no way out and he’s trying to keep himself awake!! OH MY GOSH!! ZOMBIE JUST CHOMPED DOWN ON CONNOLY’S ARM!! And Connoly recoiling in pain!! Zombie having to resort to that to keep himself in the match!! Jack B. Nimble though prepared for such circumstances and quickly whips out a needle and injects Connoly with an antidote!!”

Jim Jackson: “Zombie on the offensive this time!! Connoly eats sole of Zombie’s boot and hits canvas! Zombie bringing Connoly straight to his feet and picks Connoly up into the fireman’s position!! Connoly trying to break free but Zombie drops on his back with a standing samoan drop!! Zombie grinning like a maniac in that ring!! Obviously thinking that this is easy for him but he seems to be forgetting that Connoly is suffering from an open bite wound!!”

Brad Blood: “And so early on in this match as well!! It does not bode well for Connoly!! Zombie brings Connoly up once again and sends him flying towards the ropes with the irish whip!! Zombie attempts another big boot to the face but Connoly ducks and clotheslines Zombie!! The force from that sends Zombie flying to the outside!! Connoly obviously used the injured arm as he grasps at it and in some pain!! The referee again well equipped for this one as he whips out some bandages and wraps them around that open wound!!”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly thanking Nimble as he makes his way to the outside!! Connoly turning his anger up to eleven and sends Zombie flying into the steel steps on the outside here!! Connoly now looking to create some trouble for the undead atrocity as he scours the space under the ring for a weapon!! And I think he’s found one that was calling to him! The smile on Connoly’s face tells it all!! Oh dear god!! Is that? Is that a baseball with nails in it?!?!?”

Brad Blood: “WHO on earth would put such an implement under the ring?”

Jim Jackson: “Was that you and that video game you keep talking about?”

Brad Blood: “Hoooo man! Now shit got good!!”

Jim Jackson: “And Connoly showing Zombie exactly what he has in his hand!! Zombie getting to his feet and Connoly is encouraging him up!!! Connoly with that baseball bat ready as Zombie turns to face him!!!”

SSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Jim Jackson: “AND CONNOLY SLAMS THE BAT RIGHT OVER THE SKULL OF ZOMBIE!!! ZOMBIE COLLASPES TO THE FLOOR WITH BLOOD POURING OUT AND CONNOLY GOES DOWN FOR THE PIN!! SURELY AFTER THAT!!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One!!! Two!!! Thr…”

Brad Blood: “OH MY!! HOW THE HELL DID ZOMBIE KICK OUT FROM THAT!! And Connoly arguing with the referee!! But the referee saying that it was only two!! I can’t believe Zombie actually kicked out from that!! Connoly still arguing with referee and he doesn’t notice the waking Zombie!! That baseball bat is lodged into Zombie’s skull!! And now Zombie seething with rage this time!! Zombie prying that bat from his skull!! Ewww man!! The sound of that thing coming away from his skull is sickening!!”

Jim Jackson: “I agree with you on that Brad!! And I think Connoly is with us as he turns around to face an angry Zombie!! And now Zombie has that bat in his grasp this time!! Connoly quickly ducking all of those mad swings!! Should Connoly get whacked with that thing!! This thing is all over!! Connoly manages to swiftly dodge yet another swing!! Connoly deciding that he needs to get into Zombie’s face rather than keep his distance and he lunges with a spear like tackle!! Zombie crashes to the floor and drops that lethal weapon in the process!!”

Brad Blood: “Awwww!! Boooo!! Come on Jim boo Nimble!! He’s gone and taken that baseball bat away!!”

Jim Jackson: “And so he should!! Even if this match is a hardcore match something like that is just not suitable to normal ALIVE people!!”

Brad Blood: “BOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly pounding the grounded Zombie with a load of right hands!! Zombie still suffering from the effects of that hit to the head! That was lethal even to Zombie!! Zombie now pushing Connoly away, trying to catch his breath!! Both wrestlers now on their feet and they tangle it up on the outside!! Remember folks this is a hardcore match!! So there are no DQ’s and it is One Fall anywhere!! And I mean anywhere!!! Zombie using Connoly’s injured arm to his advantage in this grapple and gains control!! Zombie taking full advantage of that arm as he twists it around!! Connoly clearly not in a comfortable position!!”

Brad Blood: “Connoly attempting to mount a fightback!! Zombie clearly in control of this!! Zombie twisting that arm even more to quieten down the tough Irishman! Connoly going for a different approach and uses his arm to pull Zombie in and he headbutts Zombie!! Going through the pain barrier to get the upper hand!! And Connoly now not giving Zombie the time to recover and throws him into the barricade!! Connoly catching his breath and looking under the ring once again!! This time he finds a steel trash can!! Why DO we keep those steel trash cans under the ring? Surely they should be doing their job in the arena!!”

Jim Jackson: “That is a mystery to everyone Brad!! Nonetheless Connoly holds the can above his head and slams it over the back of Zombie!! It seems to me as if those weapon hits seem to rouse Zombie up to his feet!!”

Brad Blood: “What do you mean?”

Jim Jackson: “I mean that the pain acts like an electric shock to Zombie and rouses him to his feet!! Zombie now to his feet and Connoly puts that trashcan over the head of Zombie!!! Zombie trapped inside!! His arms also tucked inside there as well!! AND CONNOLY DROPKICKS THE TRAPPED ZOMBIE AND THAT SENDS HIM OVER THE BARRICADE!! Connoly looks like he’s planning on going over the barricade as well!! Zombie dislodges himself from that trashcan and GETS CLOTHESLINED BY CONNOLY!! CONNOLY JUMPING OFF THE BARRICADE TO CLOTHESLINE ZOMBIE INTO THE CROWD!!! THE CROWD DISPERSING TO GIVE THE COMPETITORS ROOM!!!!”

Brad Blood: “Well we’ve seen wrestlers going up the aisles but this something different!! Zombie landing on a couple of fans there!! They’ve been quickly evacuated by security!! Connoly going for the pin in the middle of the crowd!!!”

Jack B. Niimble: “One! Two!”

Brad Blood: “Only a two count out there!! Connoly kicking Zombie in the guts and slams a chair onto the chest of the grounded Zombie!!”

Jim Jackson: “We give the fans the best show we can provide but this is a real treat for these fans to see the wrestlers so up close!! Connoly bringing Zombie up to armpit level!! AND WITH THE DDT SLAMS ZOMBIE DOWN ONTO ONE OF THOSE CHAIRS!! Connoly quickly rolls Zombie over and goes for the pin once again!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!”

Jim Jackson: “Zombie kicking out rather easily on that occasion!! Connoly setting up for something!! He’s got those chairs lined up together and the seated parts against each other forming a table like structure!! Connoly hoping to finish this one off while he has the chance!! Zombie already rousing and up to his knees!! Connoly with the boot to the midsection and positions himself and Zombie in front of that structure!! Connoly with Zombie’s head between his legs!! Signals with the thumbs down and goes for the lift!! Looks like he’s going for some sort of powerbomb!!”

Brad Blood: “Zombie though resisting the lift!! Connoly thumps the back of Zombie with those large forearms!! Connoly going for the lift once again but still Zombie resists!! And Zombie roaring as he lifts Connoly UP IN THE AIR AND OVER HIS HEAD!! CONNOLY LANDS BACK FIRST CRASHING DOWN ONTO THOSE CHAIRS!!! ZOMBIE TURNING THIS ONE AROUND IN ONE BIG SHOW OF POWER!!! ZOMBIE WITH THE PIN THIS TIME!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One!!! Two!!! Thr…”

Jim Jackson: “AND CONNOLY KICKS OUT!!! ZOMBIE, THE CROWD AND OURSELVES IN COMPLETE SHOCK!!! ZOMBIE NOW ARGUING WITH THE REFEREE!! SAYING THAT WAS A THREE!! BUT THE REFEREE KNOWS BEST IN THIS ONE!!!”

Brad Blood: “Zombie not impressed with the decision but he carries on anyway!! Bringing Connoly to his feet and dragging the half lifeless body of Connoly through the crowd!! Zombie deciding to take the quicker way and goes for the steps!! Walking up those steps with Connoly in tow!! Both of these guys pretty beaten at this point of the match!! But still some life in both as Connoly attempts to break out of Zombie’s grasp but Zombie brings Connoly’s head down onto the steel banister in the middle of the steps!! Connoly collapses to the floor and Zombie decides to go for the pin right on those steps!! But Connoly surprises Zombie with a possum pin and has Zombie rolled up!!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!!”

Jim Jackson: “Only a two once again!! Both wrestlers quickly up to their feet with a sudden rush of adrenaline and pummeling each other with a series of punches!! Connoly forcing Zombie up the steps still exchanging punches!! Connoly coming out on top and he snatches a drink off a fan and splashes the contents over Zombie!! Both wrestlers stop as Connoly sniffs the cup and Zombie’s eyes widen!!”

Brad Blood: “Ohhhh!! I thought that looked kinda yellow!! Maaan! Some fans really do not want to miss the action that goes on in this place!!”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly drops the cup in disgust and I think that fan may have cost Connoly the match!! Zombie even more riled up than before as he pulls Connoly up and mat slams him down onto the concrete steps!! Once again that back taking a lot of damage!! Zombie dragging Connoly up the steps using Connoly’s injured arm!! Telling fans to move out of the way!! I don’t think they need telling though I should expect the smell is quite something now anyway!!”

Brad Blood: “Zombie must be planning something as they finally reach the top!! He finally brings Connoly to his feet and sends Connoly flying into the big doors with that irish whip!! The doors fly open and Connoly falls down into the backstage area!! Connoly trying to distance himself away from Zombie as he crawls along the floor!! Zombie watches Connoly and laughs loudly as he continues his offense backstage!!! Zombie goes to bring Connoly to his feet but Connoly lashes out and Zombie steps back!! Was that a crack I heard Jim?”

Jim Jackson: “Zombie trying to shake the fairies from his head!! It must’ve been something Brad!! Connoly still on the floor and he seems to be smiling!! Wait a second!!! Are those knuckledusters on his hand?!?!??? Connoly getting to his feet and …”

Brad Blood: “Those are definitely knuckledusters Jim!! Connoly must’ve had them on him the whole time!!! Connoly laying on the punches with those things!! Slow and powerful punches with those dusters right to the skull of Zombie!! Those wounds that Zombie incurred from that baseball bat are being opened up even more as Connoly keeps laying into that skull!!! Blood, or at least I think it is, is pouring out from those open cuts!!!”

Jim Jackson: “Zombie in a dream world!! Could this be the end? Connoly stopping briefly as he pins Zombie’s shoulders down!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One!! Two!!”

Jim Jackson: “How on earth Zombie kicked out I don’t know!!! Zombie looks like he is trying to shake himself back to our world!!”

Brad Blood: “Looks more like he’s having a fit of some kind!! But he’s still getting up to his feet!! Connoly looking around backstage for something else to use!! He’s picked up a piece of 2x4!! Connoly whacking Zombie across the head with it!! Stunning Zombie for the moment he wraps Zombie’s arm around the 2x4!! Laying Zombie’s arm on the floor he grabs a…a…a… where the hell…”

Jim Jackson: “Well he’s picked up a sledgehammer Brad!! It must’ve been left lying around backstage somewhere!!”

Brad Blood: “Was that you?”

Jim Jackson: “I don’t know what you’re talking about Mr. Baseball Bat Man!!”

Brad Blood: “Now we’re even then!! We’ll say no more!! And Connoly looks to smash Zombie’s arm to pieces!!! Connoly raises the sledgehammer above his head!! AND HE SLAMS DOWN HARD RIGHT ONTO ZOMBIE’S ARM AND THAT PIECE OF 2x4!!!”

CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHH!!!!

Jim Jackson: “Zombie crying in pain as he rolls around on the floor holding whatever is left of his arm!!! Have we ever heard Zombie cry before?”

Brad Blood: “Sounds more like he’s laughing to me!! I think you were right with the whole pain thing rousing Zombie to his feet!!”

Jim Jackson: “You’re right as well!! He is laughing!!! Quite maniacally in fact!! It looks like that the piece of 2x4 has fused with his arm!! It’s all splintered into Zombie’s arm!!! Zombie still laughing!! Connoly is doing the opposite as he seems to be getting more and more frustrated with Zombie’s resilience!!”

Zombie: “Come on you motherless son of a bitch!! Hit me again!!!”

Jim Jackson: “Zombie now telling Connoly to hit him again with the sledgehammer!! And Connoly obeys as he slams Zombie right in the guts with that thing!! Zombie still laughing maniacally through the pain!! Connoly goes for it again but Zombie uses that wood infused arm and whacks Connoly over the head with it!! Connoly now busted open from that shot!! And blood seeps out of the fresh wound on his head!! Zombie decides to go for the pin still laughing in pain!!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One!! Two!!!”

Brad Blood: “Only a two!! Zombie also getting frustrated at Connoly’s resilience!! Zombie looks like he’s had enough now though as he brings Connoly to his feet!! Deciding to wrap the wood infused arm around the neck of Connoly and walks through the backstage!! Both wrestlers leaving trails of blood as they go!!! Zombie leading Connoly around the corner!! He obviously knows where he wants to go!!”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly in the meantime trying to keep his breath as Zombie’s new wooden arm starts to crush Connoly’s adams apple!! But Zombie releases Connoly and throws him into some doors once again and Connoly falls flat down into the parking lot of the arena!!! Zombie drags Connoly along the floor over to one of the cars parked up in our parking lot!! I think Connoly should just give up right now!! Zombie rolling Connoly onto the bonnet of the car!! Whatever Zombie has planned it’s going to be the end of this match and the end of Connoly’s title reign!!”

Brad Blood: “Zombie jumping right onto the roof of the car and he pulls Connoly up the windscreen and onto the roof as well!! You may be right Jim!! Zombie wants to finish this one off and finish it off he will!!”

Jim Jackson: “Zombie dragging Connoly up to his feet!! CONNOLY JUST LASHED OUT OF NOWHERE ONCE AGAIN!!! ONCE AGAIN WITH THOSE KNUCKLEDUSTERS!!! CONNOLY HITS AGAIN!! ZOMBIE NOW ON HIS KNEES INSTEAD!! THE ROLES HAVE BEEN REVERSED!!! AND CONNOLY NOW WITH A LAST DITCH ATTEMPT TO REGAIN CONTROL!! CONNOLY HAS ZOMBIE ON HIS SHOULDERS NOW!! RIGHT ON TOP OF THAT CAR!! THE BELFAST SLAM!! THE BELFAST SLAM!!! RIGHT ONTO THE BONNET OF THE CAR!!!!!”

Brad Blood: “Zombie is like literally IN the engine from that impact!!!!! Connoly collapses on the roof of the car!! All that strength and adrenaline all used up for him to use his Belfast Slam!!!!! Jack B. Nimble starts his count!! Both wrestlers down and out at the moment!! If they cannot answer the ten count then this one is all over!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two! Three! Four…”

Jim Jackson: “Both wrestlers are starting to stir!! Zombie is not laughing this time!! I think he realized that that could’ve been it!! Connoly rolling himself off the roof of the car and he lands onto the concrete floor!! Zombie looking beaten and broken as he prys himself from the bonnet of the car!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Five! Six! Seven!”

Brad Blood: “I can’t believe that these two are now once again standing on their feet!!! Just amazing!! And they still want to fight each other!! The two wrestlers now slugging it out exchanging punches in the middle of the parking lot!! Who will get the upper hand this time!!!”

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Jim Jackson: “Was that tyres screeching?”

Brad Blood: “I THINK IT IS!!! LOOK!!! IT’S RAY KAMAURA IN HIS CAR!!! OH MY GOD!!! HE JUST PLOUGHED RIGHT INTO BOTH ZOMBIE AND CONNOLY!!! AND HE’S JUST DRIVEN OFF!!!”

Jim Jackson: “OBVIOUSLY HE DOESN’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT A TITLE MATCH WHICH HE CAN NEVER HAVE NOW FOR THE NEXT YEAR!!!! RAY KAMAURA OBVIOUSLY IN A VERY FOUL MOOD AFTER LOSING HIS MATCH EARLIER TONIGHT!!! ZOMBIE AND CONNOLY ARE COMPLETELY OUT COLD AFTER GETTING RAN OVER!!! AND THE REFEREE HAVING TO FINISH THIS MATCH AS A DRAW!!! BOTH ARE UNANSWERABLE AND CANNOT WRESTLE!!!”

Jasmine Lee: “Ladies and gentlemen as a result of both wrestlers being knocked out this match has been concluded as a draw!!! Therefore as a result of a draw, the title cannot change hands!! And so still the Correa Grande Del Oro Connoly champion, Connoly!!!!”

Brad Blood: “Wow!! That was the last thing I expected!! But all that effort for this match to end in a draw is slightly disappointing!!!”

Jim Jackson: “But it was a match that was enjoyable all the same!! Paramedics on the scene straight away!! Tending to both Connoly AND Zombie!! Both are going to be out of action for at least two weeks I would say!!! This match though is only going to pour more fuel into this feud!!! And as we see more live footage of Connoly being loaded onto a stretcher, we would just like to remind our younger viewers to NEVER attempt any of the stuff you just saw!!”

Brad Blood: “Except for the baseball bat part!! DO THAT!!! That’d be funny!!”

Jim Jackson: *sighs* “We’ll be back folks right after all of this!”

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Sun Sep 25, 2011 12:39 pm

Ragki Nikara is seen talking to a man in the shadows. He is handed a large amount of $20 bills from the man before Ragki tips his mangled sunhat to him. He stuffs the bills in his wallet and chuckles as the lights in the hallway flicker ominously.

Ragki Nikara: "I do have to say you pay handsomely my client. Don’t worry about anything, you’ve paid enough cash to me to guarantee tonight. Everything will go according to our plan, just as you wrote it. Tonight, there’s no maybes, only guarantees. Guarantees made by money, cash, dollars, bills, yen, pounds, gold, currency, pictures of dead guys… Sorry, I started rambling again. Anyway, there’s no need to worry tonight, our plan will happen just because of some billfolds in my wallet. Glorious billfolds."

Ragki shifts his attention down the hallway. He looks to the camera.

Ragki Nikara: "Well I’d better get going. I’ll be seeing you, partner, comrade, compadre, employer, ATM, money machine, hm, maybe I should get a thesaurus…"

The man in the shadows goes down part of the hallway while Ragki goes toward the camera. The camera begins to follow the other man, but the shot falls suddenly to the ground as Ragki chuckles.

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

The Camera opens up to show the sanctuary. People look distracted and uncomfortable by a man in the corner of the room dressed as a pirate, surrounded by women in wench attire.

??: "Tavern Wench, more mead fer me 'n th' wenches."

Samantha King, who is currently at the sanctuary working

Samantha King: "Excuse me?"

??: "Did ye not hear me? More Mead wench!"

Samantha King: "Wench? Who do you think you are talking to me like that?"

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "I be Cap'n Sebastian Wolf, cap'n 'o th' scurvy pirate ship, th' Leviathan. Wanted all across th' seven seas fer a lot 'o doubloons. I be th' feared scurvy pirate to every raise th' jolly roger. Many have died by me hand 'n if ye don't hurry up 'n get th' mead ye gunna be th' list before I sail out lass."

Samantha King: "I don't think so."

Captain Sebastian Wolf pulls out a pistol and points it at Samantha

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "I have killed many a man fer less that lass. Now i be a generous man 'n gunna gift ye wit' a second chance. Now hurry along ye ol' tavern wench unless ye want to be off on a voyage to davey jones's locker."

Samantha is obviously shaken up by the sight of a gun being pull on her so she hastily goes to get the drink. Everyone in The Sanctuary turn and look at the pirate captain

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "What be ye all lookin' at? I gunna murder any scurvy dog who dares to stand up to th' scourge 'o th' seven seas!"

The patrons go back to their business

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "A spineless bunch th' lot 'o ye."

Sebastian fires the pistol in the air

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "YARRHARR!!"

He places the pistol back in the holster and draws a cutlass before jumping on the table

Captain Sebastian Wolf: 'Now hand over all ye doubloons or I gunna cut ye throat from ear to ear."

The Patrons quickly try to run out of the sanctuary but stop after a warning shot from the captain

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "Ye best not be runnin' if ye knowin' what's good for ye."

Sebastian grabs off the table and places the cutlass to one of the male patrons throats

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "Now hand it over laddie or ye blood gunna be paintin' me ship."

The man instantly takes out his wallet and hands it to the captain

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "I be thankin' ye but don't be thinkin' that ye gunna be gettin' out 'o here without a scratch. If ye do ye be dead wrong."

Sebastian cuts the mans face

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "May that be a lesson to anyone who dares to defy th' cap'n 'o th' leviathan. Wench, Hurry up if that mead or else more gunna be feelin' me wraith."

Samantha quickly brings the mead over and sets it on the table. As Samantha is walking away Sebastian grabs her ass

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "Don't ye be thinkin' I'm payin' fer 'tis now lass."

The Captain guzzles back the entire of the mead and places his cutlass away

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "Yarr, 'tis be a pitiful excuse fer a tavern. Best not be recruitin' crew here. Wenches! Come on. I gunna show ye a jolly ol' hour elsewheres."

The Captain and his wenches leaves The Sanctuary which is now empty thanks to his antics. Just as the captain leaves Allister King and Shadow Callahan enter the place.

Allister King: "What the hell happened here?"

The camera fades to black leaving the sanctuary ravaged by the antics of Captain Sebastian Wolf

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

VS

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Jim Jackson: "The following match is a match for the ULOL Boleto Dorado. Ten Wrestlers, one golden ticket... This is definitely a match everyone is looking forward to."

Brad Blood: "That's right Jim and again this match will be an ULOL first. A greased pole match!"

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a greased pole match and is for the ULOL Boleto Dorado. The first one to scale the greased pole in the middle of the ring and takes the briefcase containing the ULOL Boleto Dorado shall win the match."

Jim Jackson: "Scaling that greased pole in the middle of the ring will definitely be a challenge..."

Brad Blood: "Well the prize is the coveted Boleto Dorado, a free pass to any title anytime here in ULOL, the difficulty of the challenge is proportional to the value of the prize."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the participants, Aurora Borealis, Boy Bakla, Colton Charles Cai Cobb, Enigma, Gina "The Wild" Sheridan, Jim Rival, Little Wang, Ragki Nikara, Shogun Shogunsen and Taufik!"

All ten participants come out of the entrance tunnel and make their way into the ring.

Brad Blood: "What? No individual entrances? Someone was lazy."

Jasmine Lee: "LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell and right off the bat, we have a brawl going around. We see Boy Bakla and Shogun Shogunsen going at each other, Aurora Borealis and Gina "The Wild" Sheridan grappling with each other, Jim Rival heads straight for his former partner Taufik. Enigma and Little Wang sends Ragki Nikara over the top rope with a double dropkick. Oh! Colton Charles Cai Cobb with a stiff clothesline takes Enigma down. He punts Little Wang through the middle ropes into the outside!"

Brad Blood: "Wait I think Bakla just pulled out a pair of pink fuzzy cuffs! Bakla plans to use it on Shogunsen! Shogunsen dodges Bakla and counters with a legsweep! Shogunsen sees the cuffs on the ground... SHOGUNSEN JUST CUFFS BAKLA'S HAND TO THE MIDDLE ROPE! That effectively takes Bakla out of the competition! Bakla's plan backfires early on."

Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb takes Shogun Shogunsen from behind... German suplex by C4 shakes the ring! C4 turns around, Enigma with a springboard from the apron hits a corkscrew crossbody! Little Wang leaps up to the ring apron, Ragki Nikara pulls him off and throws him to the ground outside before stomping away at him with ferocity."

Brad Blood: "Oh man the girls are going at each other like crazy, CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT! WHOA! Sheridan just flung Borealis to the other side of the ring by the hair! That has got to hurt."

Jim Jackson: "Jim Rival seems to have gotten the upperhand on Taufik on a brawl... Irish whip by Rival sends Taufik crashing to the pole in the middle! Rival starts slamming Taufik's head to the pole... Enigma charges towards Rival, he uses Rival's back as a stepping board to launch himself to the pole! Enigma lands smack right in the middle of the pole!"

Brad Blood: "And he fails to get a grip as he slides back down to the canvas. Rival with a big boot takes him down! I guess Rival doesn't appreciate being a stepping board."

Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla is screaming and struggling but those cuffs have it trapped! Ragki Nikara leaps to the apron but Shogun Shogunsen takes him out with a stiff clothesline! Shogunsen with a full Nelson slam on Colton Charles Cai Cobb! Gina "The Wild" Sheridan tries to scale the pole with little success, Jim Rival spins her around and Irish whips her into the corner."

Brad Blood: "Shogunsen with a spear takes Rival out! Borealis hits a body avalanche on Sheridan on the corner and uses her heel to try and choke Sheridan! Taufik spins Shogunsen around... Shogunsen counters with a big right sending Taufik reeling! Neckbreaker! Shogunsen is on a roll!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen tries to scale the pole but he can't get a good grip... Little Wang with a springboard on the top rope leaps and lands on the pole! Shogunsen pulls Wang down and hits him with a knee to the face! Colton Charles Cai Cobb gets a waistlock on Shogunsen from behind... Northern lights suplex!"

Brad Blood: "Ragki Nikara just took Aurora Borealis down with a clothesline to the back! Irish whip on Borealis sends her crashing into Sheridan! Haha! Nikara is just beating up on the girls. Rival spins Nikara and kicks him in the guts... Stungun! Nikara is down!"

Jim Jackson: "Taufik spins Jim Rival around and Irish whips him into the pole! Taufik charges at Rival... Rival dodges and Rival hits the pole shoulder first! Colton Charles Cai Cobb grabs Rival before he can act... Powerslam! Here comes Little Wang with a springboard spin kick... C4 dodges it and Wang hits Shogun Shogunsen instead! Spin kick by C4 sends Wang spinning into the air."

Brad Blood: "C4 starts to scale the pole... The grease on the bottom part of the pole has more or less been rubbed off... Wait! Aurora Borealis with a dropkick to C4's back stops him from going up. Enigma leaps over Borealis and lands on C4's shoulders using it to spring himself up the pole!"

Jim Jackson: "Enigma is still trying to climb up but is having a hard time advancing... Aurora Borealis pulls Enigma down and tries to climb up but Gina "The Wild" Sheridan pulls her down and takes her out with a DDT!"

Brad Blood: "Nikara is up... Enigma with a shiranui takes him out! Little Wang with a springboard hurricanrana sends Enigma flying to Shogunsen who takes him out with a back suplex!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen gets hit with a double axe handle from behind courtesy of Jim Rival. Taufik spins Rival around and lifts him up... Rival slips down behind Taufik and trips him sending him stumbling..."

Brad Blood: "RIGHT INTO BAKLA'S GROIN! Bakla squeezes its legs together and Taufik is trapped there! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!! I guess since Bakla isn't winning it ain't gonna let Tau win either... Shogunsen hits a powerbomb on Rival! C4 with a big boot takes Shogunsen down."

Jim Jackson: "Both girls now are taking turns slapping Ragki Nikara silly! Enigma with a springboard crossbody takes both girls and Nikara down! Little Wang with a flying back elbow hits Enigma but he is quickly sent flying with a discus clothesline by Colton Charles Cai Cobb!"

Brad Blood: "Taufik is turning blue as Bakla squeezes its legs tighter around Tau's neck! Taufik passes out! C4 tries to climb up the pole... He can't get a good grip... Shogunsen slams his knee into C4's spine!"

Jim Jackson: "Enigma with a springboard corkscrew... No! Shogun Shogunsen catches Enigma and throws him into the pole! Jim Rival charges in but Shogun Shogunsen intercepts him with a kick and throws him right into the pole too! Ragki Nikara wanders into Shogunsen's grasp... Shogun Irish whips Nikara into the pole head first!"

KER-RACK!

Brad Blood: ""Uh... What's that sound? Did the pole just crack? C4 charges at Shogunsen, Shogunsen and C4 starts grappling... The girls take advantage and dropkicks both C4 and Shogunsen into the pole!

KER-RASH!

Jim Jackson: "OH MY GOD! THE POLE GIVES WAY AND SMASHES INTO LITTLE WANG AS IT FALLS! With no pole getting the ULOL Boleto Dorado now becomes next to impossible. Little Wang is out cold!"

Brad Blood: "I think everyone is stumped as to how they will get the Boleto Dorado... It's like a writer who has written himself into a corner. Man, this puts a stop on the action..."

Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla is chuckling loudly as it seems that no one will be able to win... Wait Colton Charles Cai Cobb uses the chance to rip the covering around the ring and uses it to wipe the grease off the fallen pole. Shogun Shogunsen has exited the ring and now starts throwing steel chairs and sliding tables into the ring... The other wrestlers catch on and some of them props the pole up and sets the chairs and table up using it to wedge the pole in an upright position."

Brad Blood: "What the?! Ragki Nikara starts striking everyone with a steel chair! Talk about a genius move! There goes Enigma! Then Jim Rival! Shogunsen takes one on the head too! The girls aren't spared either! Borealis goes down and so does Sheridan, all with the help of Nikara and the steel chair."

Jim Jackson: "Only Colton Charles Cai Cobb is left standing... Ragki Nikara holds the steel chair up... Wait! He drops the steel chair and walks over to C4... What the?! Did C4 just hand Nikara a roll of cash?"

Brad Blood: "Oh my god! He did! C4 just bought Nikara! Nikara stands on top of a table and holds the pole firm... C4 climbs over Nikara's shoulders... He is up the pole three fourths of the way!"

Jim Jackson: "IT'S LITTLE WANG! LITTLE WANG HAS RECOVERED AND HITS A DROPKICK RIGHT INTO THE BACK OF RAGKI NIKARA'S KNEES! Nikara's legs buckle and Colton Charles Cai Cobb is left hanging on the pole! But since the grease has been wiped off, C4 has a good grip and does not slide down."

Brad Blood: "Nikara just threw Little Wang off the table top and into the canvas! Nikara turns around... SHOGUNSEN PICKS HIM UP AND POWERBOMBS HIM INTO THE TABLE BREAKING THE TABLE IN HALF!"

Jim Jackson: "With the table gone, the pole is not wedged properly and is now wobbling as Colton Charles Cai Cobb hangs on. Shogun Shogunsen starts shaking the pole as C4 clings on..."

Brad Blood: "Wait! Enigma just leapt into the pole too! He's making his way up fast while Shogunsen is still shaking the pole... C4 is almost up the pole... Shogunsen is using his shoulders to try and bring the pole down. Enigma is almost catching up to C4..."

Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb kicks Enigma off who falls into a recovering Jim Rival! Shogunsen with one final shove and the pole dislodges from the chairs and tables and is falling down..."

Brad Blood: "C4 leaps from the pole... HOLY CRAP HE MAKES IT TO THE BRIEFCASE! C4 IS HANGING BY THE BRIEFCASE IN MID-AIR! C4 opens the briefcase... HE GETS THE BOLETO DORADO!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match and new ULOL Boleto Dorado bearer... Colton Charles Cai Cobb!"

Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb wins the Boleto Dorado, now the question is how he will get down..."

Brad Blood: "Looks like everyone is filing out of the the ring leaving C4 hanging up in the air to dry... Ragki Nikara is still out so I guess he won't be helping C4 down anytime soon. I guess C4 must wait for the stage crew to get into the ring to get him down."

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

Jim Jackson: "We seem to have a pre-recorded segment from Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing."

Brad Blood: "Well we might as well play it."

The ULOL Tron comes on. Standing in front of a giant logo of the ULOL is the disguised daredevil whose mask is known the world over. He is the grappling gold standard of the wrestling ring, the man known only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello! The time for talk, accusations, and recriminations has expired! If Rob Conway wants to shut me up, he has a great opportunity tonight! But I am facing the same man who failed to beat a manager in a match he agreed to! I am fighting a man who's last championship highlight was how ugly he looked in a pair of teacups! I think I like my chances! So here is your chance Conway! Let's see you try! I am not wearing underwear!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing walks off. The ULOL Tron fades.

Brad Blood: "What?"

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

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Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Freeca10

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Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Sun Sep 25, 2011 12:39 pm

VS

Jim Jackson: "Well the main event tonight, we have Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing going against Alexander Conway for a chance to regain the ULOL Primo Ultimo title which he lost."

Brad Blood: "This is a scaffold match, one tiny platform on top of the ring... A lot of things can go wrong. This match is gonna be good."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a scaffold match and is for the ULOL Primo Ultimo title. Introducing the challenger and former ULOL Primo Ultimo, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Nu-metal music begins to play as a highlight reel of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing runs on the ULOLTron. A horde of reporters and photographers gather at the stage entrance, taking pictures and giving a blow by blow of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's every move as he steps out for his match. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing waves to the fans as he slowly makes his way to the ring.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, he is the current and reigning ULOL Primo Ultimo, Alexander Conway!"

As the crowd eagerly awaits the match that will decide the fate of the Primo Ultimo Championship, the ULOL Tron comes on and we see Alexander Conway as he smiles at a computer monitor. Whilst distracted, Alexander doesn’t notice Bob Bobbie enter into the room behind him.

Bob Bobbie: “Alexander, what are you doing? Your match is starting! Get to the ring!”

Alexander sighs before standing up out of the chair. He isn’t dressed to wrestle, which is perplexing. Also missing, is the ULOL Primo Ultimo Championship. The camera follows Conway as he exits the room and heads through the hallways of the United League of Lunatics on his way to the ring. The boos start to flow from the audience as Alexander Conway steps out onto the entrance ramp. Somewhere along the line, he picked up a microphone. Alexander remains on the ramp, obviously not about to walk down to the ring.

Alexander Conway: “Well, well, well, here we are. Another worthless Pay Per View, another worthless audience, and another worthless opponent. Oh Q, you wasted so much time trying to make yourself look good. For the past month, you’ve ran that stupid little mouth of yours like a stereotypical small man, never shutting up, and always speaking loudly in your attempts to get attention. You believe yourself to be so intelligent and creative, and yet, isn’t it hilarious that no one else believes you to be either one of those? The rest of the roster, Q, RESENTS you. The rest of the world, Q, RESENTS you. The only people who like you, Q, are your own countrymen and yourself. Hell, even the hapless Andrew Hunter doesn’t like you! The one and only reason I even bothered with you was because of the bonus that comes with holding the Primo Ultimo Championship.”

Alexander aggressively points towards Q.

Alexander Conway: “You are a blight upon professional wrestling! You are a DISGRACE! The ONLY reason you ever held the Primo Ultimo Championship was because Marcus Troy was misguided enough to hand it to you! Everything you touch becomes tainted, Q! You fabricate events to make yourself look good. You use your countrymen as tools to get what you want, both by having them actively get involved in your business and by having them throw countless dollars at Troy to get him to allow you to continue to mock professional wrestling. If I wrestled you tonight Q, some event that was overbearingly unfunny and unexciting would take place, such as, your countrymen coming down to the ring and battling a bunch of Canadians and you winning by a roll-up. Well, I don’t want to be a part of any of your mundane storylines, Q, which is why I don’t have the ULOL Primo Ultimo Championship in my possession and why I will not be facing you for it tonight. You see, you simply aren’t worth the amount I will be paid for dealing with you, so, I sold the ULOL Primo Ultimo Championship on EBay! That’s right, someone by the name of PrivateButtkiss is the new Primo Ultimo Champion!”

Alexander revels in the boos before hearing his phone ring. He pulls it out and frowns at the phone before bringing the microphone back up to his lips.

Alexander Conway: “Oh, I am sorry Q, but something more important than you has just come up. However, before I leave you to complain about how “cowardly” I am, why don’t you take a look at my skill…”

Alexander holds one of his hands high above his head.

Alexander Conway: “…and then take a look at your skill…”

Alexander holds his other hand very low for a brief second.

Alexander Conway: “Oh wait, that’s right, you can’t look at your skill because you don’t have any! And you wonder why no-one wants to wrestle you. It’s simply because we are all sick of being forced make a fool like you look good. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

Alexander flips open his phone and disappears into the backstage of the ULOL.

Brad Blood: "WAIT! WHAT?! DID I HEAR HIM RIGHT?! HE SOLD THE TITLE ON E-BAY?!!"

Jim Jackson: "This is a travesty! What Conway did... He basically just spat at ULOL!"

The crowd, still stunned by the news delivered by Alexander Conway just seconds ago, lie silent. Q's face would be sure to tell of his shock, and likely anger, if not for mask.

Then, suddenly, "New Divide" by Linkin Park blasts throughout the arena. Andrew Hunter, dressed in his favorited brown jacket, and wearing a huge smile on his mouth. He looks throughout the fans, seeming to take a second to take note of all their faces, before pulling a microphone out of his jacket. (Yes, he has a microphone in his jacket. He also has tire irons, C4, some cocaine, exlax, and a slip of paper reading "L is real, 2401", but none of that is important.) He chuckles to himself softly for a second, then bursts into pure laughter.
He takes a second to regain his composure, then raises the microphone to his lips.

Andrew Hunter: "WOOOOOOO-HOOOOO!"

The crowd lets out a rather large pop, despite the news that was just delivered, in their support for Andrew, wanting to know exactly what's on his mind at this point.

Andrew Hunter: "What a... PLEASANT surprise, to say the least!!"

Andrew can't help but let out a somewhat too girly scream, considering that he's one of the few non-transexual wrestlers these days.

After he regains his composure, he finally manages to put on a straight face, or at least as straight as it can be with a huge grin...

Andrew Hunter: "My E-bay handle... IS PRIVATEBUTTKISS!"

Yeah yeah, the crowd cheers, Andrew giggles like a girl, but I, the black voice behind all actions, feel inclined to point out that there really is a "PrivateButtkiss." He's an old war hero- really, look at the n00bt00b article page-, better known as James K. Buttkiss.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot that stuff is happening!

Andrew throws his arms into the air. But this time controls himself over screaming out loud his most inward feelings. Again, he raises the mic back up to his lips. His composure finally seems cemented, as the look of joy and excitement mold back into the poker-faced, piercing glare which he became so famous for.

Andrew Hunter: "Although I can only express my utmost apologies to Q for what he must be going through, the fact remains... I am ULOL's first, and more than likely the world's first, World Champion via internet transaction!"

Andrew lowers the mic again, as the entire arena let out a thunderous pop. However, a very distinct voice is heard from somewhere over the cheers; "BULL CRAP!" But Andrew doesn't seem to notice as he turns to walk backstage, making one more scan across the arena, taking note of all their faces. He finally walks backstage, out of sight.

Brad Blood: "Wait! Now Andrew Hunter IS the new Primo Ultimo?!"

Jim Jackson: "What a turn of events! It looks like Q is not happy at all standing alone in the middle of the ring. What now happens to our main event?!"

Suddenly a loud reverberation is felt throughout the arena as the familiar sound of heavy foot falls is heard.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

The massively gargantuan wrestler also known as The Morbidly Obese Man comes out from the back with a mic in hand.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Thank me now for I shall save this main event. I have gotten permission from the VGM, Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow, god bless her soul to fight that masked moron over there tonight. So be prepared Q! Tonight I am going after your head."

The big man makes his way down the ramp and enters the ring.

Jim Jackson: "It looks like now we have an impromptu match between The Morbidly Obese Man and Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Wow in a surprise turn of events, it looks like the main event is somewhat saved. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing and The Morbidly Obese Man have actually been at each others' throats these past few weeks. And there's the bell! TMOM hits Q with a big right hand! Hammerlock by TMOM on Q..."

Brad Blood: "Reversed! Q is a feat of agility leaps around and reverses that hammerlock!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing throws a few strikes at The Morbidly Obese Man but it seems that TMOM is unfazed. Irish whip by Q..."

Brad Blood: "No! Q cannot seems to make TMOM move! Reversal by TMOM and Q is sent crashing to the ref! The ref is down!"

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man tries to capitalize as he grabs Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing and lifts him up to his shoulders... Q with a few well placed elbows fights himself free! Enziguri by Q! TMOM drops to one knee... Shinging wizard! TMOM is on the ground! Q leaps unto the ropes... Springboard moonsault connects! He hooks the leg."

Brad Blood: "The ref is still out! Typical... Q tries to rouse the referee... TMOM sneaks up behind Q and hits a massive chop! Man that could have cleaved someone in half!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing rolls away from a foot stomp and tries a hip toss but he can't budge The Morbidly Obese Man who reverses the hip toss instead! Running knee knocks Q silly before Q can recover."

Brad Blood: "TMOM is on a rampage right now... He is so far man-handling the former champ."

Jim Jackson: "Fallaway slam by The Morbidly Obese Man puts down Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. Massive backbreaker on Q. TMOM with a massive legdrop... Q gets flattened! TMOM hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Q gets his foot up on the bottom rope! Talk about close call!"

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man picks Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing up... Q slips free and throws a big kick... Blocked by TMOM who grabs Q and locks him in a bear hug!"

Brad Blood: "He's gonna snap Q in two! Q is struggling but he is trapped and TMOM is squeezing the air off him... Wait! Q manages to wrench an arm free! He's raining shots down to TMOM's head! TMOM's grip loosens!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing gets free! He spins around... And gets caught in a sleeper hold! No! Q counters with a jawbreaker and The Morbidly Obese Man staggers back! Dropkick to the knees and TMOM goes down to one knee... Sprinboard crossbody by Q!"

Brad Blood: "TMOM catches him! TMOM rams Q's back into the turnbuckles before slamming him to the ground! Oh! That has got to hurt."

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man starts stomping away on Quioaecoapedidwazhapzhing. He is going for a body splash... Q rolls out of the way!"

Brad Blood: "Man Q almost became a pancake there... Did you feel the shockwave from the bodysplash?! Wow! I could still feel the sonic boom from the impact of fat and canvas."

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing goes to the ropes... Springboard flying elbow connects! Q goes high risk again... He's going for a double foot stomp from the top turnbuckle on The Morbidly Obese Man!"

Brad Blood: "And he bounces off TMOM like a trampoline! WAHAHAHA! Wait! He lands on the ropes..."

Jim Jackson: "Springboard corkscrew splash connects! The crowd goes wild! What a move by Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing! He goes for the cover on The Morbidly Obese Man..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Close but no cigar! TMOM gets a shoulder up... Q charges in for an attack..."

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man with a huge right from nowhere stops the masked crusader. Big chokeslam on Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing! TMOM goes for the pin..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Q gets a shoulder up! TMOM continues his assault again raining some stomps on Q. TMOM uses the ropes to gain some momentum... He runs! He leaps! HE MISSES!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing rolls out just as The Morbidly Obese Man went for that running knee drop! Q with a dropkick sends TMOM staggering back... A second dropkick sends TMOM to the ropes... Here comes dropkick number three..."

Brad Blood: "OH! TMOM sidesteps and intercepts Q with a big axe handle! Q hits the canvas hard."

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man picks Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing up... Pump-handle slam! TMOM mounts on top of Q and starts raining punches down into Q's head!"

Brad Blood: "I think he cracked the mask of Q! Those heavy punches cracked Q's mask! TMOM goes for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing kicks out! The Morbidly Obese Man cannot believe it! He grabs Q by the throat and lifts him up in the air choking the masked wrestler! Q struggles in the air..."

Brad Blood: "Q starts kicking wildly! His knees hit TMOM on the nose! I think he just broke TMOM's nose! TMOM's grip loosens! Q slips free! TMOM wipes the blood gushing out of his nose and flings it into the air!"

Jim Jackson: "The blood hits the referee in the eyes temporarily blinding the ref! The Morbidly Obese Man reaches in between his love handles and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles while the referee is not looking. He then busts his opponent open with the brass knuckles and discards them before the referee notices executing a sneakily morbid Love Handle Surprise!!!"

Brad Blood: "HE CRACKS Q MASK WIDE OPEN! AND UNDER THE MASK IS!!! Another mask?! Q crumples to the ground! TMOM goes for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall, The Morbidly Obese Man!"

Jim Jackson: "With the aid of illegal objects The Morbidly Obese Man wins this match against Q!"

Brad Blood: "I'm sure Q will have a ton of things to say next week. But still what a main event this was... We have a new ULOL Primo Ultimo by internet transaction and we also had a great match between two of ULOL's powerhouses... What a way to end the evening, truly here in ULOL the only thing to expect is the unexpected."

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

Jim Jackson: "Well well well! This is truly a night to remember I mean what will happen next? We have Ray Kamaura who is banned for any title shots for a year, Nao Fook Mi who seemingly snapped after her loss tonight. Both Connoly and Zombie get run over by a vehicle. A new Boleto Dorado holder in the visage of Colton Charles Cai Cobb. But what blew everyone's mind tonight is Conway's action."

Brad Blood: "Conway should be stripped of his remaining title, he spat on the ULOL Primo Ultimo, he spat on ULOL, he spat on the fans, he spat on everyone in the roster with what he did..."

Jim Jackson: "We will still have to experience the fallout of the events that happened tonight. So tune in next Sunday in Lucha Loco where we shall see the results of everything that happened here tonight. Thank you for joining us folks, until next Sunday, this is Jim Jackson and for my partner Brad Blood, good night folks!"

Dios Mio! 09/25/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Dios Mio! 09/25/2011

» Uno Mas! 06/26/2011
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