United League of Lunatics & Lucha Libre Puroresu
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| | | Ay Caramba! 07/31/2011 |  |
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The Morbidly Obese Man
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 |  Subject: Ay Caramba! 07/31/2011  Sun Jul 31, 2011 3:54 pm | |
|  VS VS VS Jim Jackson: "Before we kick things off in this dark match, here's a little something we caught earlier with our cameras in the locker room."
Brad Blood: "Ooh! Is it something indecent?"
Jim Jackson: "No."
Brad Blood: "BOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The ULOL Tron comes to life and on the big screen we see the scene fades into a locker room. The ULOL Campeon No Masculino is present on a wooden bench so it is obvious that this locker room belongs to Lady Bianca de Sade & The British Hawk. The two residents then come out of as door with towels wrapped around them, which can only suggest to the young teen/middle aged adult mind that they had a bit of 16+ fun.
Lady B then opens a door to the wardrobe. Hiding herself from the camera. The towel that was wrapped around her chest drops the floor.
The British Hawk: "How ya feeling about tonight babe? I mean champ hehe."
Lady Bianca de Sade: "I'm actually feeling pretty confident. I won this title and I'm not gonna lose it. Not tonight, not ever!"
TBH smiles as he rubs his hair in the towel. He begins to walk to the shower room with his ring attire in hand.
The British Hawk: "That's the spirit baby. You are the queen of the ULOL. I shoulda been the king of ULOL a few weeks back but I'm not. It's funny how I go from coming seconds away from winning the Primo Ultimo title to being in the dark match on the PPV. Oh well I guess these things happen. Well I suppose I better go out for the match. I'll be back in a little while baby."
TBH walks into the room. The scene fades to black.
Brad Blood: "Dammit! No hot sexy love scene!"
Jim Jackson: "Well there is something else. I think we have an interview taken earlier with Brostar."
Brad Blood: "Eh? The match is not on yet?"
Again the ULOL Tron flickers as the scenes opens with Brostar preparing for his match, all of sudden, a knock and can be heard from the door.
Brostar: "Come in."
He says as the door opens to see the person that was knocking was Lex Lexington.
Brostar: "Hello Lex, how may I help you?"
Lex Lexington: "I would like to get you thoughts on tonight's match."
Brostar: "Well as you might know I have a Four-Way match, you have Allister King who used to be some sort of drunkie and our "General Manager" and has now changed his mind and his ways to be a good wrestler in the ring."
Brostar: "There is British Hawk, he has some good matches in the ring and has some good moves too."
Brostar: "Lastly there is Chriso, a Shogun carbon-copy like person who I haven't noticed much lately nor have I seen much of his matches, but I bet he can do a lot in the ring and I'm sure he is a good wrestler. Is that all you needed?"
Lex Lexington: "I need to know one last thing. What are your thoughts on what happened last week after your match with The Lord of the Rings?"
Brostar: "Well seems things are getting interesting aren't they? Last week not only did they win but they wanted to rub it in our faces but us a beat-down for the second week in a row, but not only that but Ethan want a little too far by powerbombing Fettel onto the steps. Ethan you are going to regret with you did to my partner, next week I challenge you to a match, one on one. Lex you may go now I got nothing else to say."
Lex Lexington: "Thank you for your time."
He finishes as he leaves the locker room as the scene fades away.
Jasmine Lee: “This match is scheduled for a Fatal Four Way! Introducing first, Allister King!”
Blue and Red lights shine throughout the arena as Edguy's King of Fools begins to play. Allister King, accompanied by Samantha Collins, walks out onto the entrance ramp to a thunderous roar of the crowd. He poses on the top of the ramp as white pyrotechnics begin to rain down behind him. He continues to walk down to the ring, smiling to the crowd. He high fives a few off the audience members before sliding into the ring. He poses once more for the crowd, hands Samantha his sunglasses and jacket before heading to his corner.
Jasmine Lee: “And his opponent, Brostar!”
"Show Goes On" by Lupe Fiasco plays as Brostar comes out and raises his hands as he walks down the ramp and runs into the ring, he goes up to the second turnbuckle raises his hands again, Then he jumps off with a backflip.
Jasmine Lee: “Introducing next their opponent, Chriso!”
Tubular Hell Music starts to play as smoke begins to fill down the ramp with the lights dimmed. Chriso appears and makes his way down to the ring. He then stands on the turnbuckle closest to ramp as flames explode from ramp behind.
Jasmine Lee: “And finally introducing the last opponent for this match, The British Hawk!!”
'Rebirthing' by Skillet starts to play over the arena. The fans start to cheer loudly as The British Hawk rises from beneath the stage via a lift underneath the stage. He is wearing his ususal wrestling attire and with a black hooded jacket with the hood up. He walks off the lift and raises his arms up triggering stage pyros to go off. He walks down to the ramp and enters the ring. He climbs onto a turnbuckle and removes his hood and taunts to the fans who cheer loudly.
Jasmine Lee: “The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte!! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!!”
Jim Jackson: “Welcome ladies and gentlemen to one of the first matches of the evening. Some good competitors in this matchup here before the PPV officially kicks off! Allister King, Brostar, Chriso and The British Hawk all have an extensive history and are obviously still building themselves up in a bid to be the best here in ULOL and the world!”
Brad Blood: “How will participating in a dark match build themselves up to being the best?”
Jim Jackson: “All wrestlers now stalking each other! This match only just started here as Chriso faces off with Brostar! Chriso looking down on Brostar! King and TBH watching events unfold as Brostar starts hitting Chriso with some fists! Chriso reeling from those punches as he backs into the corner of the ring! Obviously Chriso not expecting that from Brostar!”
Brad Blood: “TBH and King now mixing it up and TBH suplexes King to the canvas! Meanwhile Brostar continues his assault on Chriso! Slamming Chriso to the gut with a series of punches and kicks! Brostar has Chriso in a headlock and brings him out to the centre of the ring!”
Jim Jackson: “The British Hawk though in wait and double teams with Brostar with a powerful double DDT! Chriso now on the canvas! King slowly getting to his feet! TBH decides now though to attack Brostar and twists Brostar’s arm around and lands an elbow right to that twisted arm! Brostar holding his arm in pain!”
Brad Blood: “TBH changing his target once again and decides to pull Chriso to his feet! King now bursting from his recovery position and clotheslines TBH before he can go further! Brostar now trying to tangle it up with Allister King! King turns Brostar around and brings Brostar to the canvas with that neckbreaker!”
Jim Jackson: “King now turning his attention to Chriso who was observing the whole scene! King firing punches to Chriso trying to stun the big man! But Chriso is not having any of it now as he fires some punches of his own back! Chriso with the irish whip sends King to the ropes! King bounces back! Chriso at the very far opposite side! King runs towards Chriso! King hoping to catch Chriso with a big boot but Chriso ducks and lifts the still moving King up and over his head!”
Brad Blood: “Oh man!!! And the gravity did the rest on that one!!! King falls over Chriso and over the ropes as he lands down to the outside of the ring!!! Chriso now knows he’s in some sort of control of this one now! The British Hawk up to his feet now though! Chriso now with his attention to TBH! Chriso picks TBH up and spins him around 180 degrees and slams him to the canvas with a big spinebuster!!!”
Jim Jackson: “Chriso with the shoulders down! Has he done enough?”
Don Q. Hotte: “One! Tw…”
Jim Jackson: “We shall never know as Brostar broke up the count! Brostar trying to bring Chriso to his feet! But Chriso slams Brostar with a right hand to the midsection! Brostar stunned as Chriso gets up to his feet! Chriso about to grapple with Brostar but The British Hawk is to his feet and turns Chriso around to face him! TBH now stuns Chriso with a jawbreaker! And another one from TBH forces Chriso to see the stars as Chriso falls down onto his back!”
Brad Blood: “Brostar and TBH now firing punches to each other! Is Brostar actually coming out on top of this encounter? Brostar now in control of TBH and slams TBH with a belly to belly suplex! King now rousing outside the ring! Brostar deciding to direct his attention to Allister King!”
Jim Jackson: “Chriso up to his feet now as The British Hawk is also making his way up from that suplex from Brostar! Brostar attempts the irish whip with Allister King, hoping to slam King into the ring post! But King counters the irish whip and sends Brostar flying into that ring post instead!!”
Brad Blood: “Meanwhile Chriso just drove TBH down to the canvas with a piledriver!! Chriso now locking in an arm lock onto TBH now! Trying to force TBH to tap out!”
Jim Jackson: “Outside the ring you probably just heard a huge clattering from those steel steps! King just sent Brostar flying into the steel steps!! And Brostar caught his shins pretty hard!! King now seeing TBH is in some trouble!”
Brad Blood: “That’s right TBH doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere! Chriso really has that hold locked in! But not anymore as King breaks the hold!!! And King frantically stomping a mudhole into both Chriso and The British Hawk!!”
Jim Jackson: “Brostar now trying to get to his feet but struggling after he hit those steps pretty badly! King now back outside and stuns Brostar with a hard right hand! King using some force to push Brostar back into the ring now! King reenters and hoping to get the three count!”
Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two!”
Jim Jackson: “But Brostar kicks out at two!"
Brad Blood: “King now changing his target once again! Deciding this time on The British Hawk who is already up! King throws TBH into the corner turnbuckle! King charges toward TBH but finds himself eating the boot of The British Hawk! And TBH now throws King into the turnbuckle head first!”
Jim Jackson: “Chriso attacks TBH with an elbow to the back of the neck! The British Hawk now in that corner on top of Allister King! Chriso stepping back, charges full pelt and spears TBH right into King!!”
Brad Blood: “Brostar now trying to grapple with Chriso! Trying to surprise Chriso! Chriso though overpowering Brostar!! Chriso with a fisherman suplex to Brostar! The shoulders are down!”
Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Th…”
Jim Jackson: “The British Hawk with breaking up the count just in the nick of time! King now up out from the corner and attacking TBH!! With the clothesline he sends TBH flying to the ropes! TBH rebounds off the ropes and heads back toward King!! Only TBH seems to be sprinting! King realizes his plan has backfired and quickly dodges a clothesline attempt!!”
Brad Blood: “BUT THE REFEREE WAS RIGHT BEHIND ALLISTER KING!!! AND THAT CLOTHESLINE JUST SENT DON Q.HOTTE SPINNING IN THE AIR AND DOWN TO THE RING FLOOR!!”
Jim Jackson: “King now taking advantage of the shocked and stunned The British Hawk! Chriso observing the scene and pulls Brostar to his feet! King has TBH in a rather vulnerable position! King now ready for that Kingdom Come!! HE BRINGS TBH UP ONTO HIS SHOULDERS AND FORCES TBH TO LAND ON THE CANVAS FACE FIRST!!!! SHOULDERS ARE DOWN!! BUT THERE’S NO REFEREE!!!”
Brad Blood: “WHILE CHRISO JUST PLOUGHED BROSTAR WITH THE CHRISONATOR FROM THAT TOP TURNBUCKLE!!”
Jim Jackson: “King going straight for Chriso if he can finish Chriso off he might have the time to rouse the referee and win this one!! But Chriso foresaw the attack somehow and fends off Allister King!! Chriso turns King around and he’s trying to lock in that Straight Jacket Lock!!”
Brad Blood: “He almost has King’s arms around his neck!! But King is using all his might to try and escape!! BUT IT’S TO NO AVAIL!! CHRISO HAS THAT HOLD NOW LOCKED IN!! KING IN CERTAIN TROUBLE NOW!! HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO TAP OUT!!”
Jim Jackson: “Wait!!! That’s Zombie rampaging his way down the ramp and into the ring!! Chriso releasing his hold leaving King trying to catch his breath!! Chriso and Zombie staring each other out!!!”
Brad Blood: “Oh man!! I hope we’re not going to have a repeat of that long fight they had!!”
Jim Jackson: “Chriso in a sticky position!! Zombie hasn’t been fighting in this one but Chriso has!!”
Brad Blood: “Zombie is the fresher of the two!!”
Jim Jackson: “AND ZOMBIE SLAMMING CHRISO WITH A SERIES OF HARD LEFTS AND RIGHTS!! AND NOW HE HAS CHRISO BY THE EARS!!!”
Brad Blood: “YOU WERE RIGHT JIM!! ZOMBIE JUST KNOCKED CHRISO OUT WITH A HUGE DEADBUTT!!!”
Jim Jackson: “And Zombie leaving the ring! Smiling as the crowd boos him!! It must have all come into plan for Zombie!! The referee being knocked out and then he continued on to ruin Chriso’s chances to win this!”
Brad Blood: “Look!! King has Chriso covered!!! Wait The British Hawk with a top rope 450 splash from out of nowhere! TBH for the cover!”
Jim Jackson: “And the referee regains his bearings is able enough to do the count! ”
Don Q. Hotte: “One …. Two ….. Three!!”
Jasmine Lee: “The winner of this matchup via pinfall, The British Hawk!!!”
Jim Jackson: “TBH manages to win! But without the help of Zombie could he have done this by himself?”
Brad Blood: “Chriso did have that Straight Jacket locked in!! And it did look like King was about to tap out!! And the referee was still out at that point so would Chriso still have won? But we’ll never find out now!!”
Jim Jackson: “Well that sure did have a lot of action for the dark match!! And that was only the dark match!! Who knows what’s in store for the rest of tonight!!”  Jim Jackson: “Good evening and welcome to ULOL's pay-per-view Ay Caramaba! We just finished things off with a dark match for the folks who are here in the arena.”
Brad Blood: “Yeah, tough luck for all those who are watching at home, you didn't get to see a great four-way action. NYAH NYAH!”
Jim Jackson: “That's one of the perks of buying tickets to watch the show live, but the folks at home can still watch the rest of the PPV where-in it is guaranteed that we will have great action. So let's not keep the people at home waiting.”
Brad Blood: “Ooh ooh ooh! Can I say it?”
Jim Jackson: “Oh fine...”
Brad Blood: “YAYZ! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!” Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. Bakla makes it's way to the ring and hops in with a mic in hand, sighing heavily.
Boy Bakla: "Last week, you all saw how that old hag Eunice P. Winslow was out to get me. In an obvious unfair match she scheduled me in tonight, she shows us how unprofessional and how lopsided her decision making skills are."
Bakla tries to hold up the emotions penting up inside it.
Boy Bakla: "That bitch Winslow is a hypocrite! That's right she's a hypocrite, she goes on and points fingers at Marcus Troy when it is she herself who also commits the same sin! She said she'll be the check and balance to Troy, but who will be the check and balance to her?"
Murmurs emanate from the crowd as they seem to discuss the controversy brought to light by Bakla.
Boy Bakla: "Well what's done is done, tonight Winslow booked me to face Connoly in a one on one match with Shogun as guest referee and William LaCroix as special enforcer... This is as good as a handicap match, a handicap match which I didn't deserve unlike Connoly who deserved his when he attacked Marcus Troy."
There was a slight cheer from the crowd which clearly annoyed Bakla.
Boy Bakla: "Hmph! It seems tonight I am the underdog here. Well this bitch will not take this lying down. This bitch will bear her fangs and show not only you who are watching here tonight but that old bag Eunice P. Winslow that she screwed the wrong pooch. Beware of me you old crone, after I am done with Connoly tonight, I shall show you how much more of a bitch I can be. I shall expose you for what your really are, a conniving selfish old fox who is just as bad as Marcus Troy."
With that Bakla drops the mic and exits the ring as Cher's "Believe" hit the speakers again."Shut Me Up" by Mindless Self Indulgence erupts over the arena speakers. Boy Bakla stops and glares up the ramp as Connoly walks out from backstage. He has on a green kilt, black t shirt, his long black leather coat, and a mic in hand.
Connoly: "WHA WHA WHAAAA! Are you kidding me Bakla, no one here wants to hear your whiny bitchy voice. You're upset because you think this is a handicap match. This whole match is your fault doll. You had the deck stacked against me, and you LOST! Of course you couldn't handle that, lost it and attacked me, if you didn't do that this match never would have happened. You let yourself get distracted, you have no one to blame but yourself Bakla."
Connoly starts making his way down the ramp towards the ring.
Connoly: "As for your point about Eunice, I don't disagree, I've worked with the hag before and I've never liked her, and she's never liked me. Of course she's going to abuse her power like Troy, I've yet to meet a GM who wasn't a power mad douche. As for this match being a handicap match, I have absolutely no idea what your talking about. We have a guest referee, and an enforcer, to keep your pansy ass in line, you stay in line and I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. I mean you've never done anything to make these guys dislike you, oh wait, everyone in this federation wants to see you get your ass kicked, because your a whiny little bitch."
Connoly stops at the bottom of the ramp right in front of Bakla.
Connoly: "Plus, it doesn't matter either way, even if there wasn't a guest referee and a enforcer I would have no problem kicking your fruity ass all over this ring. So cut the poor me rant, because this match tonight is your fault, and now it's time to face the dance music Bakla."Bakla looks at Connoly with much contempt, anger seething through it's veins. Again the transsexual wrestler picks up the mic it has dropped and confronts the veteran brawler.
Boy Bakla: "I deserved it? Connoly, you were the one who cost me my title, you were the one who interfered in my match first, that baseball bat shot does not even compensate what you cost me. So be prepared later tonight Connoly, because this... How did you put it? Whiny bitch shall make you her bitch! Hmph!"
Bakla drops the mic and walks past Connoly, ignoring the wrestler and heads to the back.Connoly smirks as Bakla returns to the back.
Connoly: "Oh Bakla, you are so deluded, thinking that everything is always some one elses fault, thinking that your going to win this match, and thinking that just because you cut your dick off and put some balloons in your chest that you're a chick. Well, I'm going to knock you back into reality tonight."
The crowd starts to cheer as Connoly makes his way to the back. A figure is seen crumpling paper inside a dimly lit room which is clearly a makeshift home office as the camera pans away. The figure whose facial features are hidden in the shadows throws the crumpled paper unto the ground. The camera zooms in on the crumpled heap of paper and a word that says "CONTRACT" is clearly written on it. The camera zooms back to the individual and though his name is still not known, he is recognized as the man who stormed into ULOL last week, taking out the security personnel and asking Marcus Troy for a cushy contract.
????: "This is totally unacceptable! The nerve of Marcus Troy to offer me, the next greatest attraction in ULOL a feeble contract like that. That contract lacked a couple of zeroes..."
The mysterious figure throws another fit in anger.
????: "It seems Mr. Troy needs another visit from me to appraise my true value. Very well, to the United League of Lunatics it is. Marcus Troy shall give in to my demands and I shall get the contract that I truly deserve."
Grabbing a coat, the figure heads out the door as the scene fades to black. The scene opens outside of a door. On the door, is the label, "William LaCroix". A hand grabs the knob of the door and twists it before pushing the door open. As the camera enters the room, William LaCroix is seen sitting on a rather expensive looking couch as he watches a wrestling match. Unfortunately, the commentary is in German, but the wrestlers involved in the match are clearly John Kay and James Mason. (Don't know them? That's because they wrestle in Germany.) William LaCroix pauses the match as the cameraman walks in front of the TV to get a better shot.William LaCroix: "Isn't this wonderful? I am stuck here tonight, playing an "enforcer" for a match that isn't even going to be a match. Connoly is going to demolish Bakla, and no one is going to try and interfere because no one on the roster likes that ugly transvestite. This whole situation is unnecessarily overdone, and is a just a waste of my time."LaCroix runs a hand through his hair.William LaCroix: "The decisions this company makes completely boggles my mind. Why would Connoly need an enforcer and a special referee for his match? Eunice is clearly not only abusing her power, but she is also preventing me from continuing my career."William LaCroix points at his chest.William LaCroix: "I got two wins last week. I am undefeated in this company. And yet, I still do not get the opportunities that I so richly deserve. If management continues to ignore me, then I shall take the matter into my own hands, and that is not a road that the ULOL wants to travel upon. Now, would you please move? I would like to finish watching this match before I am forced to once again waste my time."The scene fades as the cameraman moves out of the way and the sounds of the wrestling match resume. | |
|  | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Ay Caramba! 07/31/2011 Sun Jul 31, 2011 3:55 pm | |
| The scene opens with a blur of light. When the picture focuses Shogun can be seen sitting in a steel folding chair in front of a locker, presumably his own. Shogun is wearing a shirt and his normal ring wear including the large golden belt he has been carrying around for the past couple of weeks. Shogun stares at the floor for a few seconds before finally looking up at the camera to speak.
Shogun: "You know...Lately I`ve been saying a lot of things about a lot of people. I`v made all the promises about kicking Troy`s ass for whatever a number of different reasons. The problem is I never really explained a few important points that I have made."
Shogun pauses briefly before speaking again.
Shogun: "So Now I`m going to do something I don't do very often. Instead of going out to the ring so I can be interrupted by seven wrestlers who will never give me a chance to speak, I`m gonna sit here in front of a camera. I`m gonna say everything I want to say about things before I go out and ref a match Connoly is gonna win. Not because I feel like screwing Bakla or some shit like that but because he could out-wrestle that thing in his sleep."
Shogun: "That is not what I am here to talk about though. No what I want to talk about is why I am not in a match tonight. Why I am not wrestling Jack off for the right to cash in my rematch clause.. I am not pissed off at Troy for screwing me over. I was for a week or so but not now. What I am so pissed off about is how in the span of two weeks, Troy devalued just about every single title in this company."
Shogun: "He took all the value out of the Primo Ultimo by sending a muscle bound phony to screw me out of a title I just won. Which is something else I need to cover before moving on. If Q would have run out with the Boleto Dorado ticket to take my belt away from me I would have been pissed off. But at least he would have beaten me in a way that he earned. That ticket was made for that kind of title shot anyway. However, Troy sent of a fake Q to take my title in a shot Q himself never even earned."
Shogun: "When he did that he made the belt totally pointless. He showed that he does not give a SHIT about the wrestlers who work their asses off for him. He took the most prestigious title in this federation and took a shit on it. Honestly why would I want a belt that means absolutely nothing. If I can wrestle my heart out in a match to win that title only to have Troy run out and give out title shots because Q promised to shove something even bigger up his pompous ass if he did. Why bother?"
Shogun: "Why bother wrestling for all the titles he vacated either? All of you "champions" who won the belts you got a free ride for should be ashamed of yourselves. Musashi got his ass kicked by Raven in his decisive title challenge to her. Now hes running around acting like he earned that belt. Beonca and the DWMA are doing the same with the shiny new belts they vultured."
Shogun looks straight into the camera.
Shogun: "Newsflash! Not one of you earned the belt you are wearing! You are ran in and thanked your lucky stars that the previous champion was stripped because it saved you an ass-kicking! You people all wonder why Shogun is reffing instead of earning a title shot tonight? Get a clue! I would rather wear this nameless title for the rest of my life knowing that it represents what COULD have been a long, meaningful Primo Ultimo Title reign, instead of going after a title that has lost all of its value."
Shogun sighs deeply.
Shogun: "Conway I heard the little challenge you threw out last week. Talking about me and my bullshit. Well coming from the guy who sent out his second cousin twice removed to fight a title match for him because he was to much of a yellow gutless coward to wrestle a match, I really could care less what you think of me. However I will accept the little challenge you threw out. How about the two of us have ourselves a match next week on Lucha Loco? I would love to finally wrestle again and show the world why I am truly the best wrestler in the world today. Think about it..."
Shogun gets up from his chair and walks past the camera man signalling the end of the session. The picture fades to black. VS Guest Referee: Special Enforcer: Jim Jackson: "This battle between Bakla and Connoly has been brewing for some time. Bakla lost it's chance to win the ULOL Campeón No Masculino, Bakla on the other hand attacks Connoly with Petunia, the pink baseball bat."
Brad Blood: "Well tonight the cards are stacked against Bakla, not only does it have to worry about Connoly, but also the special guest referee and special guest enforcer too. That fruit cake may be fruit shake by the time the match is over."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Boy Bakla!"
Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to it's corner waiting for the match to begin.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, his... Er, her... Er, it's opponent, Connoly!"
"Shut Me Up" by Mindless Self Indulgence erupts over the arena speakers. After a few moments Connoly walks out onto the stage, he is wearing a green plaid kilt, white t-shirt, and a long black leather coat. He pauses on the top of the ramp, a confident smirk on his face as he scans the crowd. He walks down the ramp and the slides into the ring.
Jasmine Lee: "The special guest referee for this match is Shogun Shogunsen!"
"Hybird Stigmata-the Apostasy" by Dimmu Borgir hits the speakers suddenly as the lights in the arena begin flashing on and off. As soon as the first lyric is screamed Shogun bursts out from the hind the curtain to the roar of cheers mixed in with boos. The wrestler has the same golden belt around his waist. When he makes it down the ramp Shogun quickly rolls into the ring and faces his opponent.
Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen?!"
Brad Blood: "Shogun spouted a last name?!"
Jasmine Lee: "The special guest enforcer for this match is William LaCroix!"
"Sonne" by Rammstein begins playing over the speakers as the big man from Switzerland walks down towards the ring. He ignores the crowd as he climbs up the metal stairs onto the ring apron. After wiping his feet on the apron, LaCroix swings one of his long legs over the top rope before doing the same with the other.
Jasmine Lee: "LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Shogun signals for the match to start. Both Shogun and LaCroix also has beef with Bakla so things are really not looking good."
Brad Blood: "Well we have word from Shogun Shogunsen that he will call this match fairly..."
Jim Jackson: "STIFF~! chop lights up Bakla who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Connoly walks into a drop toe hold. Connoly just WALKS into a stiff lariat clothesline from Bakla."
Brad Blood: "Damn, Bakla seems to be in control. Bakla is prancing around taunting Connoly. Connoly charges, Bakla moves, and Shogun gets speared by mistake! Shogun should disqualify him right now after he regains his bearings."
Jim Jackson: "Oh! LaCroix sees that the referee is out and jumps to the ring apron. Bakla with a dropkick sends him off! Connoly charges in again but Bakla intercepts him with an enziguri! Bakla for the cover!"
Brad Blood: "Shogun is still down! There's no one to count! Bakla is furious! Bakla tries tugging on Shogun hoping to wake him up."
Jim Jackson: "Connoly gets back up to his feet! Bakla quickly kicks him in the gut and is going for a double underhook facebuster. Connoly counters it into a back body drop!"
Brad Blood: "Uh-oh, I think Connoly finally has control back and he's going ballistic on Bakla, mounting Bakla and starting to pound on Bakla with both hands... That sounded... Kinky... You know with the mounting and pounding with both hands."
Jim Jackson: "Connoly is not done he hits a legdrop on Bakla! Irish whip by Connoly... REVERSED! Connoly is sent to the ropes and gets flying through the air with a back body drop! Bakla sends Connoly to the ropes again and hits a big discus clothesline! Shogun has regained his bearings just as Bakla hooks the leg."
Shogun Shogunsen: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Kick out by Connoly. Bakla complains to Shogun about counting slow. Bakla again sends Connoly to the ropes with an Irish whip... REVERSED!"
Jim Jackson: "FYI Shogun didn't count slow... Bakla bounces back right into Connoly's arms... MASSIVE SPINEBUSTER! This time it's Connoly who goes for the pinfall."
Shogun Shogunsen: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Bakla kicks out at two. I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there."
Jim Jackson: "Connoly gets taken down out of nowhere! Tiger bomb by Boy Bakla, executed to perfection. We don't see too many good looking Tiger bombs."
Brad Blood: "Meh, it's surprising how Bakla hit that good Tiger bomb."
Jim Jackson: "Remember Bakla is also a veteran in the ring. Bakla grabs Connoly but Connoly powers out of a headlock attempt... Bakla spins and grabs Connoly from behind... Northern lights suplex pin!"
Shogun Shogunsen: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Connoly kicks out... Bakla quickly applies a STF! Submission locked in but Connoly manages to get to the ropes before the damage is done... Bakla is not letting lose despite of the rope break! Shogun starts to count."
Shogun Shogunsen: "One! Two! Three! Four..."
Jim Jackson: "Bakla lets go short of getting disqualified. Bakla pulls Connoly back to the center of the ring... Single leg Boston crab! Bakla is shining, showing us it's technical prowess!"
Brad Blood: "Connoly uses his forearms and superior power crawls right back to the ropes... He makes it! Again Bakla is not letting go despite Shogun's warning!"
Shogun Shogunsen: "One! Two! Three! Four..."
Jim Jackson: "Bakla may have done damage to Connoly's leg... Connoly is using the ropes to prop himself up... Shogun is checking on him... Bakla charges suddenly!"
Brad Blood: "Connoly pulls the top rope down and Bakla flies over the top rope and hits the steel railings! This may be Connoly's chance to get back to Bakla! Connoly slips out and goes after the tranny."
Shogun Shogunsen: "One!"
Jim Jackson: "Shogun has already started the ten count. Connoly with an Irish whip sends Bakla's back into the steel railings!"
Brad Blood: "Connoly has that nasty gleam in his eye."
Shogun Shogunsen: "Two!"
Jim Jackson: "Connoly with a powerbomb on Bakla on the steel steps! Bakla is in deep trouble!"
Brad Blood: "Looks like Connoly is not done yet. He is dragging a limp Bakla HERE to the announce table..."
Shogun Shogunsen: "Three!"
Jim Jackson: "Connoly and Bakla are up the announce table, Connoly has Bakla up in a fireman's carry... WAIT BAKLA WITH HARD ELBOWS TO THE SIDE OF CONNOLY'S HEAD SLIPS FREE! DDT INTO THE TABLE!"
Brad Blood: "WAH! The table gave out!"
Shogun Shogunsen: "Four!"
Jim Jackson: "Bakla is struggling up... Seems like Bakla is still suffering from the effects of that powerbomb."
Brad Blood: "Connoly is starting to stir. That's one tough old man."
Shogun Shogunsen: "Five!"
Jim Jackson: "Wait Bakla is reaching under the ring... IT'S PETUNIA!!! BAKLA HAS PULLED OUT PETUNIA!"
Brad Blood: "LaCroix rushes in and rips Petunia from Bakla's hand! Bakla is furious. LaCroix is poised to use the pink baseball bat on Bakla but Shogun shouts out to LaCroix to hold."
Jim Jackson: "Connoly with a double axe handle to Bakla's back! He throws Bakla back into the ring and follows inside."
Brad Blood: "LaCroix is arguing with Shogun saying he has the right to use the bat since he is the enforcer. Shogun disagrees, he's saying LaCroix's job is just to make sure Bakla doesn't cheat."
Jim Jackson: "Connoly has Bakla up oh his shoulders... Bakla slips free landing on the back of Connoly! Connoly turns around... Bakla with a pink mist spits it into Connoly's face! Low blow by Bakla! Bakla is taking advantage of the referee's distraction!"
Brad Blood: "Connoly staggers to his feet, Bakla charges in..."
Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla leaps towards it's unsuspecting target locking it's limbs around it's opponent entangling it's opponent in a deadly grasp where it has free reign to do something too horrible for words to describe until it's opponent taps out executing a vicious Sexual Harrassment! But Shogun is still arguing with LaCroix! Bakla has not wont he match yet!"
Brad Blood: "Bakla is furious! It gets up and walks over to Shogun, Bakla spins Shogun around and starts shouting at Shogun's face! Shogun is clearly trying to remain partial but I can see his fists clenched..."
Jim Jackson: "Connoly bounces off the ropes and runs towards opponent lifts leg and kicks opponent in the jaw with the heel of his boot executing a devastating Bloody Sunday! Bakla is down! Connoly hooks the leg!"
Shogun Shogunsen: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall, Connoly"
Jim Jackson: "Connoly has won the match! The crowd goes wild!"
Brad Blood: "Bakla is starting to regain it's bearings, I think Bakla just realizes what happened. Bakla is pissed. Bakla rushes towards Shogun who doges and throws Bakla over the top rope!"
Jim Jackson: "LaCroix is outside with Petunia... HE HITS BAKLA WITH BAKLA'S OWN BAT! BAKLA IS DOWN! LaCroix spits on Bakla and drops the bat and walks away as Connoly celebrates his win inside the ring." Backstage area. Lex Lexington stares intently into a female janitor who began to blush at his leering. Then he notices GoodFella & Schwarz who were walking by him.Lex Lexington: "Gentleman may I ask you some questions?"Arnold looks at Felix and they both agree with an interview which could help them to promote their upcoming match with Genesis.
Lex Lexington: "Ladies and gentlemen my guests at this time are former two times Campones Companero GoodFella & Schwarz. So gentlemen I see you here, and I wonder how these guys feel about their match?"
Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Seriously, Lex you suck at asking questions. Is it really what they teach you at the university? Well don’t answer that you know that no one cares what you have to say."Felix interrupts Arnold when he was just about to insult Lex again.Felix Schwarz: "Excuse,my friend's language here but first of all, this question is not that bad. GoodFella & Schwarz are better than ever right now. Well, it is my opinion, but nevertheless we destroyed every obstacle that been in our way. o this match won’t be easy for Genesis."Lex Lexington: "Well, you know what happened to Brock Lesnar when he underestimated Cain Velasquez. So maybe, I think there is a possibility that you are underestimating them?"Arnold facial expression changes and it seems he doesn’t look very happy after Lex's words.Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "You think? Nobody cares what you think Lex. Listen to carefully cause I won’t repeat that ever again. Taufik will be embarrassed in this match I can promise you that. After I’m done with him this Singaporean boy will need help of psychologist and hell how many other doctors."Felix Schwarz takes a microphone for a second because he just remembered something that he has to say.Felix Schwarz: "Manolo Ferrer, we have no idea where you are now but this match is for you! Oh and to those two stables that gunning after Campeones Companero title at this Pay-Per-View! Good luck cause we will come after you, as soon as we can."Lex Lexington: "With us were GoodFella & Schwarz two former Campeones Companeros."Schwarz finishes his speech and both guys leave Lex Lexington standing in the middle of the backstage area alone.The energy drink that will invigorate your body.
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*Warning: Not recommended for individuals with heart ailments. The biggest night of the month, the United League of Lunatics pay-per-view Ay Caramba! and huge mass is seen blocking the main path that leads into the parking lot causing a build up of traffic. Rushing to the scene to inspect was Bob Bobbie, ULOL's resident intern.
Bob Bobbie: "Oh man, I gotta report to the top what's causing this traffic jam... What the?!"
Bob Bobbie stares unbelieving at the massive form blocking the entrance of the parking lot as he realizes it is none other than the stupendously large wrestler also known as The Morbidly Obese Man. He quickly rushes over to inspect the big man.
Bob Bobbie: "TMOM! TMOM! Are you okay?"
Bob Bobbie fumbles to feel a pulse thinking the worse, since it is not uncommon for a man the size of The Morbidly Obese Man to have a coronary. As Bob Bobbie fails to find a pulse feeling through layers and layers of fat, he hears a soft groan emanating from the lips of the big wrestler.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Fooooooood... I... Need... Fooooooooooooooooood! I haven't eaten for two days... Hospital bill sapped my savings... Damned Troy, my medical was denied since I was part of the boycott... I need food..."
Bob Bobbie sighs in relief as he confirms that The Morbidly Obese Man is still alive, now the only problem is finding a way to move the big man. Just then The Morbidly Obese Man's head perks up... He looks around searching or to be more precise, sniffing.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "I smell food. I smell food near..."
In a swift motion, The Morbidly Obese Man leaps to his feet and bounds into the parking lot stopping in front of a huge 16 foot container hitched to a semi. He breaks the glass of a fire cabinet and grabs a fire axe breaking away the padlock securing the container. Flinging open the doors he sees the contents of the container... Boxes and boxes of FREE CAT! Eyes agleam, The Morbidly Obese Man enters the container and starts ripping open the boxes and devouring the multi-flavored FREE CAT! Bob Bobbie could only stare in shock as he realizes who the container's owner is.
Bob Bobbie: "TMOM STOP! THAT CONTAINER OF FREE CAT BELONGS TO QUIOAECAOPEDIDWAZHAPZHING! THOSE FREE CAT ARE FOR Q'S PEOPLE!"
But Bob Bobbie's pleas fell on deaf ears as The Morbidly Obese Man continues his carnivorous rampage as the scene fades to black. | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Ay Caramba! 07/31/2011 Sun Jul 31, 2011 3:56 pm | |
| Blue and Red lights shine throughout the arena as Edguy's King of Fools begins to play. Allister King, accompanied by Samantha King, walks out onto the entrance ramp to a thunderous roar of the crowd. He poses on the top of the ramp as white pyrotechnics begin to rain down behind him. He continues to walk down to the ring, smiling to the crowd. He high fives a few off the audience members before sliding into the ring. He raises his pokemon master championship as Samantha grabs a microphone.
Samantha King: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Allister King!!"
Allister whispers something to Samantha
Samantha King: "*Sigh* The Pokemon Master, Allister King."
Allister poses with his title that he made up and isn't classified as a championship. Samantha hands Allister the microphone
Allister King: "Hail to the King!"
The Crowd cheers
Allister King: "I am here to show you that you can make the impossible unlikely. Why did i choose those words exactly? Well because its possible just not likely to happen. It's like a meteor crashing into this arena during this PPV. it could happen but there is a slim chance that it would. Okay maybe that was a bad example but you know what I'm getting at."
Allister takes a deep breath
Allister King: "Well tonight for you viewing pleasure, I will defend my Pokemon Master Championship in a normal wrestling match against a very special opponent. A Man who deserves to challenge for this title more than I actually deserve to hold it."
The crowd begin chanting ''Pokemon''
Allister King: "Who here can wait till later tonight cause I sure as hell can't! If you want to see this match right now, Let me hear you dragons roar!!!"
The Crowd erupts with deafening cheers. Allister signals for them to calm down
Allister King: "Well I guess we have a landslide here. Okay give me a few minutes."
Allister takes off his hat and jacket and hands them to Samantha who leaves the ring.
Allister King: "Bring my opponent out! Screw it I will be the announcer."
The Pokemon theme song begins to play
Allister King: "Ladies, Gentlemen, Children and Hermaphrodite, making his way to the ring at this time. Coming from Ballet Town, in the Banto region, He wants to the next pokemon master!! He is... Nash Katchum!!"
Nash Katchum makes his way out to the entrance ramp wearing near identical attire to that of the main character from pokemon, he also has a stuffed pikachu on his shoulder. He continues down to the ring. He enters and shakes Allister's hand.
Allister King: "Can we please have a referee out here please?"
Referee Jack B. Nimble runs down to the ring. Allister and Nash head to opposite corners before the match starts. Jack B. Nimble rings the bell.
Nash runs at Allister who dodges and dances around Nash.
Nash takes a swing at Allister who steps back to the centre of the ring.
Nash charges at Allister who knocks Nash down. Allister stalks Nash as he gets to his feet.
Allister King kicks Nash Katchum in the gut and pulls him in and locks in a headlock. He shouts ''Hail to the King'' before lifting Nash Katchum into a suplex. Allister spins around a few times before breaking his opponent with a brainbuster. Allister refuses to let go and wraps his legs around Nash Katchum and tightens the grip he has on their head with a guillotine choke.
Nash can't take it for long and taps out. Jack B. Nimble calls for the bell
Samantha King: "Here is your winner and *sigh* still the pokemon master champion, Allister King."
Allister hugs Jack B. Nimble who leaves the ring near instantly after Allister lets go of the hug. Allister dances a bit before helping Nash to his feet and raising his hand. Allister catches the microphone Samantha throws to him
Allister King: "What a competitor! You did your best kid but i am the king. Take a bow kid!"
Nash takes a bow and walks to the back holding his neck.
Allister King: "Well peoples, I hope you enjoyed this but i need to go to the back now i think i have taken up more than enough of your time. Thank You and HAIL TO THE KING!!"
Allister puts his jacket and hat on before leaving the ring. He holds Samantha by the hand and carries his pokemon title on his other shoulder as he heads to the back with his music playing.
The Camera fades to black."Me Against The World" by Simple Plan started playing and cuts off Allister King Theme as Taufik makes his way to the ramp looking disgusted on what he has seen as he has a mic in his hand and he held the mic up in his lips and then started talking.
Taufik: "What the hell is this shit? "Pokemon Master" Champion? King have you lost your mind? You are no king. Your a fucking fraud that has a last name "King"."
Taufik, then walk to the face of Allister King and continue to speak.
Taufik: "You can't get a REAL belt so you have to make one out of cardboard and glitter and put the label "Pokemon Master" Champion. Allister, you don't have the caliber of being a Real champion just like the two assholes that I do my dirty works for the titles and without me doing that, they WOULDN'T be called "The Longest Reigning ULOL Campeónes Compañero" in this Company. Allister, you reminded me of a younger version of me. The younger me that who got boss around like how Arnold and Manolo always does but NO MORE!!! That Taufik is no longer going be there. I'm going to show them that They are NOTHING WITHOUT ME!!! So why don't you be a man."
Taufik throw away the "Pokemon Master" belt away and continue talking.
Taufik: "Get that in your head that "this" title is leading NOWHERE and get a real title and after that you can make love with your wife who FINALLY agrees to change her last name after so many years and then prepare to lose the title, if you are hold any which I doubt you don't and let me RIPPED it off from you."
Taufik then stops and waits for the reply of Allister King.Allister laughs.
Allister King: "Cardboard and Glitter? That title is made out of gold and jewels. And I haven't lost my mind nor will ever."
Allister takes a cigarette out of his jacket and lights it
Allister King: "You are useless Tau you know that. You became me. I was a drunken fool who believed that fucking unicorns would come and rape you in the ass if your a douchebag. If I still believed that philosophy you would be getting gang fucked by the cast of my little pony. Although you would love every minute of it."
Allister lifts his title back up and hands it to Samantha
Allister King: "You have become disillusioned. You only see what you want to. This title is not for me, its for the fans. The fans enjoy to be entertained not to hear some idiotic ramblings of a mad man. Mine on the other hand were the ramblings of an eccentric."
Allister blows smoke in Taufik's face
Allister King: "You can try to intimidate me all ya want but I wasn't the one who went to Manolo and begged him to take me on. Manolo came to me and asked me for things. I still classify Manolo as an associate rather than a friend. But was it not I who originally dethroned the man named Troy?"
Allister walks by Taufik as he continues up the ramp
Allister King: "Hey. The next time you try this again I will make sure that your twilight loving ass sparkles like the gay faggot you are. Tau, you are indeed a bitch and indeed be trippin'."
Allister drops the microphone which magically appeared in his hand, flips Taufik off as he and Samantha walk in the back. They are no longer in sightJim is seen standing against the wall next to the curtain leading out to the entrance ramp, a cigarette slowly burning between his lips. Given the healthy length it can be seen that it was lit recently. Turning his head to the side he took a look to Allister King and Samantha, a cold smirk coming over his face.
Jim Rival: "See you around...'champ'. "
This was all he said to Allister as they walked by, his tone filled with the obvious sarcasm. Looking back to the curtain and looking to Taufik, waving him down to a stop and pushing off the wall to meet him face to face. Jim Rival: "We need to talk. You need to keep focused and under control. That so called champ that you went out there to ramble is a waste of time and air from your lungs. We have more important things to focus on."
Jim Rival looked over his shoulder for a moment, taking the time to exhale the smoke in his lungs before looking back to Taufik. A frigid smile came over his face as he got an idea into his head.
Jim Rival: "I am going to help you gain better control of yourself. What do you think about that?"Taufik just stood there swinging his Singapore cane seemingly uninterested in what his partner has to say as the scene fades to black. & VS & Jim Jackson: "GoodFella & Schwarz have left things unsettled with Genesis for a long time. Former friends now bitter enemies, who will win this tag team match?"
Brad Blood: "Well I'm rooting for Genesis."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a hardcore tag team match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first the team of Arnold "GoodFella" Bold and Felix Schwarz, GoodFella & Schwarz!"
"Fire Flame" by Birdman starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again and Felix and Arnold are standing in the middle of the ring and waving to their fans.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, their opponents, the team of Jim "The Cross" Rival and Taufik, Genesis!"
"Seven Secrets Of The Sphinx" by Therion erupts through out the arena as Jim makes his way to the ring at a slow pace. A black background with only the golden outline of a cross leaning back is all that appears on the ULOL Tron, occasionally flickering in an almost violent fashion. As Jim finally makes it to the ring he takes off his button down shirt, placing the black armband bearing the same cross back over his left arm before entering the ring.
"Me Against The World" By Simple Plan started playing as Taufik walks out and pryos started to come out as he makes his way to the ring with his trusty Singapore Cane. When he reaches the ring, he raises his Singapore Cane as another set of pryos come out before he waits for his victim.
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "A hardcore tag match this could prove fatal for both teams. Injury risk is pretty high. And there's the bell! GoodFella quickly exits the ring as The Cross charges after him. Felix Schwarz and Taufik start brawling, Taufik swinging the Singapore cane and missing Schwarz by a hair's length. Schwarz with and Irish whip sends Taufik to the corner hard!"
Brad Blood: "Arnold Bold uses a big bag of popcorn to floor The Cross. I wonder if butter adds impact. GoodFella sets up a table. Schwarz slips and grabs Jim Rival."
Jim Jackson: "Bodyslam by Schwarz on Jim Rival outside the ring. GoodFella follows up and slams Jim Rival onto the table."
Brad Blood: "Oh man that table got broken in half, the experience of GoodFella & Schwarz as a tag team are really showing tonight."
Jim Jackson: "Remember, GoodFella & Schwarz are former tag champions too, Genesis are at an extreme disadvantage. Taufik comes charging in and takes Felx Schwarz down with a garbage can. Tau ducks a wild right hand. Tau slams Arnold Bold down and helps Jim Rival up as he motions to the crowd."
Brad Blood: "Genesis whip GoodFella into the steel steps! Oh man GoodFella gets knocked silly! GoodFella gets back up to his feet but it looks like he's out of it as he staggers around."
Jim Jackson: "Taufik whips Jim Rival in for a hard clothesline to follow-up on Arnold Bold. Big clothesline from The Cross sends Felix Schwarz down too! Genesis rolls Felix Schwarz back into the ring before sliding another table into the ring too."
Brad Blood: "The Cross uses a table as a ram on Felix Schwarz. Oh! Right on the ribs, that will be tender tomorrow... Wait GoodFella slips in..."
Jim Jackson: "GoodFella takes Taufik down with a dropkick! Jim Rival turns around... GoodFella blocks a punch. The Cross walks into a side slam! GoodFella hits a piledriver on Taufik."
Brad Blood: "That used to end matches, you know. GoodFella gets a stop sign... He throws it like a frisbee and it hits Jim Rival on the throat! Holy crap! That could have cut a jugular open!"
Jim Jackson: "The Cross is clutching on his throat in pain! Felix Schwarz gets Taufik's own Singapore cane... GoodFella has Taufik in a full Nelson! Schwarz strikes..."
Brad Blood: "TAUFIK SLIPS FREE AND SCHWARZ HITS HIS OWN PARTNER! Stun gun by Taufik on Schwarz! Taufik for the cover!"
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Schwarz kicks out! Taufik goes to the corner and removes the protective covering on the turnbuckles... He turns around..."
Brad Blood: "GoodFella charges int Taufik with a body avalanche and Taufik's back slams into the exposed steel! Tough luck for Taufik... Jim Rival recovers, he grabs a steel chair..."
Jim Jackson: "Felix Schwarz with a dropkick sends the chair slamming into Jim Rival's own head! Rival is down! GoodFella and Schwarz look Jim Rival, then at Taufik... The grab Rival and Schwarz produces... A PAIR OF HANDCUFFS! GOODFELLA AND SCHWARZ CUFF RIVAL TO THE CORNER!!!"
Brad Blood: "Oh man, this is bad for Taufik... GoodFella and Schwarz are signalling for the Drive-by Shooting."
Jim Jackson: "GoodFella and Schwarz sends Taufik to the ropes with a double Irish whip. They charge in and hit a double clothesline sending Taufik flipping into the air before landing on his back! There it is the Drive-by Shooting! GoodFella for the pin... Rival struggles to get free..."
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall, GoodFella & Schwarz!"
Jim Jackson: "A strong showing by both teams but it's GoodFella & Schwarz who comes out on top this time."
Brad Blood: "The handcuffs were a genius move by GoodFella & Schwarz... Wait! What's GoodFella and Schwarz doing? They are bringing the steel steps into the ring... It looks like they want to dish more punishment to Taufik..."
Jim Jackson: "This doesn't looks good... GoodFella sets Taufik up over the steel steps... PILEDRIVER!!! TAUFIK LANDS ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD AND IS BUSTED OPEN!!! Jim Rival is staring at horror as GoodFella & Schwarz continue to attack his partner."
Brad Blood: "Looks like Schwarz is getting a turn too... He sets Taufik up... BRAINBUSTAH~! Right on the steel steps! Taufik is in a pool of blood! Looks like they are not done yet!"
Jim Jackson: "Schwarz hands GoodFella Taufik's Singapore cane... GOODFELLA USES IT ON TAUFIK'S SKULL!!! SOMEONE STOP THIS BRUTALITY!!!"
Brad Blood: "I-I think he's dead Jim... EMTs are now rushing to the scene to check on Taufik... Oh, I guess he's not dead yet. Though this may be a career ending injury... I mean Taufik may end up as a vegetable with that head injury."A blue 1969 Shleby Mustang Cobra GT500 rolls into the parking lot in full speed, it swerves and drifts right into an empty parking space perfectly before stopping fully as the tires screeches on the pavement. The door swings open and out comes a man wearing a coat with it's collar flared up hiding half his face. He quickly stroll to the side entrance where wrestlers and staff enter. A security guard stationed tries to stop him but recognizes the man, the same man in a hooded jacket who attacked him last week. The security's eyes widen in fear as he turns around, cowers and crouches letting the man pass without any incident.
Just as the security personnel thought that the man passed him he stands up and gets a shock to see the man staring at him.
????: "You know it is rude to turn your back at the future superstar of United League of Lunatics. In fact I would say that it is downright disrespectful and insulting to a man my stature. And that insult needs proper punishment."
A loud scream is heard then cut short as we hear a loud snap. The camera then pans to see an unconscious security guard leaning against the wall as the door closes and the scene fades to black.Introducing the new energy drink that will bring out the best in you! Drink the sweet nectar that comes from PUSSY and feel invigorated!Available in a store near you!Warning: Drinking too much Pussy may make your heart palpitate at an irregular rate. | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Ay Caramba! 07/31/2011 Sun Jul 31, 2011 3:57 pm | |
| The scene opens in the familiar ULOL parking lot. The camera man begins pacing, as evident by the screen being jolted slightly up and down. He stops rather quickly to a scene of a man wearing a brown jacket, a black t-shirt with the words, "Boleto Dorado!", printed in large, black letters and faded blue jeans walking toward the camera. You could probably figure out by the attire that it's Andrew Hunter, right? More observant viewers will likely notice that his right hand is clenched, unlike his left. He stops abruply in front of the camera.Andrew Hunter: "A heated rivalry, between two men with a history of very intense encounters and battles, shall collide in yet another duel. The outcome which could skyrocket a young man living, living for the thrill of rolling the dice, into glory, or give a Canadian yet another feather in his cap."Andrew lifts his right hand, palm facing up, and releases his clench. There is a silver coin, (a quarter, if you care to know), sitting in his palm.Andrew Hunter: "These two men, regardless of how they've led their careers, know exactly what they're risking. And they also know the reward for such a risk. The Ligero Maximo title holder; Alexander Conway, has challenged the Boleto Dorado ticket holder; Andrew Hunter, to a match which risks everything these two men have accomplished that they still hold with them, along with a guaranteed title title shot whenever they choose."Andrew begins flipping the coin. Not paying attention to how it lands, just flipping. After a few flips, he beins speaking again.Andrew Hunter: "The risk, however, is that there is no advantage in either corner... if it's a fair fight. In a fair fight, both have won, and lost, against eachother the same amout of times. Be it... a regular match, a submission match, a last man standing match, an ironman match.... a ladder match. If statistics stick, every battle between these two men has been ,more than less, a fifty/fifty chance of success. A simple... flip of the coin."He flips the coin unnecessarily high, allowing it to fall to the ground. Andrew Hunter: "Of course, we all know that that was a load of baloney. But regardless, these thoughts have been swirling around in my head since the challenge was made. I had to vent them."The coin finally settles, the familiar face of George Washington greeting the lense.Andrew Hunter: "Yes, Alexander, I do believe this is a fairytale. My whole life is a frickin' fairytale. Full or action, hardship, and a little bit of drama..."He turns and begins walking away, his head held up straight. He stops and glances back at the camera.Andrew Hunter: "Regardless of what you think, or how you slant it, one fact remains. At the end of the day, the hero always wins. Justice will be served, my violin playing acquaintance."His burning stare remains on the lens for several seconds, before he tilts it back ahead and resumes his stroll away. The scene slowly fades out. The doors to the office of the general manager of United League of Lunatics, Marcus Troy swings open and slams hard unto the wall with a loud "BANG!" startling anyone within the vicinity. As the general manager of ULOL looks up, the still unsigned superstar whose name and face is still not known strolls over to Troy's table, his face still partially hidden beneath the upright collar of his coat. Slamming both palms into the table the mysterious super star speaks.
????: "Marcus Troy, I believe that you are just wasting your time with the crap of a contract that you sent me. You of all people should know my true value. You of all people should know that by signing me your federations value shall increase a hundred, nay a thousand fold. Yet you still persist to send me a contract that is not even worth my time?"
The man reaches into his coat pockets and pulls out a bunch of thick envelopes and throws it to Marcus Troy's table.
????: "These are contracts from rival federations and as you can see, I've had many offers. You with your sweet words and empty promises told wooed me here yet the contact you offered me is nothing but a joke. You have made a big mistake Mr. Troy, a mistake that will cost you the superstar that will take the United League of Lunatics to a whole new level!"
The man picks up the contracts from other federations from Marcus Troy's desk and stuffs it back into his coat. Just as he turns around...Marcus Troy: "There seems to be some mistake from the courier!"
The general manager of ULOL shouted after the wrestler. He then opens his desk drawer and pulls out a contract laying it on the table.
Marcus Troy: "Yes, the courier picked up the wrong contract and sent it to you. This is the contract that you were suppose to recieve."
Marcus Troy pushes the contract forward as the unsigned wrestler with a dubious look on his face turns around and takes the contract.
Marcus Troy: "As you can see, this is the most extravagant contract ever in ULOL. In fact I can assure you that you won't be disappointed with this contract as it is also the biggest contract ever offered to a talent here in ULOL. Of course you do understand that if you don't deliver, I can cancel this contract anytime."
Marcus Troy looks at the man waiting for a response.Skimming through the contract, the man starts chuckling out loud.
????: "You see, if this was the contract that you first sent to me you would already have had my signature on it. This is a super contract befitting a superstar of my status. Oh don't give me that look Mr. Troy, we know there is no courier error. You just wanted to see if you can pull a fast one on me, unfortunately for you, I read everything before I sign them."
In a swift action, the mysterious superstar picks up a pen and signs his name on the dotted line. He pushes the signed contract back towards Marcus Troy whose eyes seem to gleam as he looks at the contract signed by his new cash cow.
????: "Congratulations Mr. Troy, youhave just signed yourself the greatest talent in the wrestling world. I shall report to duty on the next Lucha Loco."
With smugness on his shoulders, the mystery wrestler leaves the GM's office as the scene fades to black.The scene opens in a darkened room. The walls and floor have blood smeared all over them. In the middle of the room is a chair which is currently empty. As the camera moves forward and deeper into the room we see a large figure hunched down on the floor.
In front of the figure on the floor is a huge torture rack which is currently occupied by a man who is strapped to it. The man is sweating profusely into his torn tshirt and it is clear by the state of his trousers that he has urinated himself several times.
The hunched figure suddenly stands to his feet and brings his hands to his head as if in pain. It is clear from the way the figure is standing that it is Zombie.
Man: "W-w-what arre you going to do to m-m-me?"
The man is afraid to even ask the question in fear of the answer he already knows.
Zombie: "This is me! This is what I do!"
Zombie starts to talk at the man in the rack.
Zombie: "I'm an evil person right? I mean I abducted you and you are clearly afraid of me! I don't get it! It's like this one time ... they just ....... they just ...."
Zombie has a disgusted look on his face from the thoughts racing through his mind.
Zombie: ".... they cheered .... me."
Zombie points to himself and looks down at his rotted undead corpse of a body.
Zombie: "ME!! They cheered me. I can't handle that! Normally everybody dislikes my opinions but now ... this one time ..."
The man looks at Zombie in confusion.
Zombie: "Even Jack Johnson said that ... that I ...."
Zombie suddenly retches at the thought of UJJ praising him.
Man: "M-m-m-maybe it's just this one time."
Zombie contemplates what the man said.
Man: "Or maybe ... you're just l-l-l-losing .... your ... touch..."
Zombie snaps his head in the mans direction and approaches him. His top lip trembling in fury from the man's last comment. The man suddenly jerks in fright.
Man: "I-I'm sorry! I didn't m-m-mean it!"
Zombie smiles snidely and almost immediately reverts back to his former self.
Zombie: "What's your name?"
Man: "M-m-my name?"
Zombie nods still with the dry smile on his face.
Man: "J-James."
Zombie smells the air around James and licks his lips.
Zombie: "Thank you James! But unfortunately for you and because of you ...."
Zombie leans into closer to James on the rack and snarls into his ear.
Zombie: "... it's a one time thing!"
Zombie lunges in and takes a huge chunk out of the man's neck. He swallows the large piece of flesh down like a baby bird and looks to the camera.
Zombie: "I will NEVER lose my touch! I may not be in the PPV tonight! But after tonight I WILL reclaim my place at the top of this roster!"
Zombie then forces the cameraman out of the room smiling and pushes the cameraman to the floor. As the camera falls to the floor the picture cuts out.  VS Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a jello match scheduled a for one fall and is for the ULOL Campeon no Masculino championship! Introducing first, the challenger, Gina “The Wild” Sheridan!”"
“Highway to Hell” by AC/DC starts to sound and Gina “The Wild” Sheridan accompanied with Summer Bold walks down the entrance ramp and enters the ring to little fanfare.
Brad Blood: "Here we go, this is what I've been waiting for, time for some T&A! Girls with bikinis wrestling in jello, we can't go wrong with that. I love our special ring tonight, that is a foot deep filled with jello!"
Jim Jackson: "Gina "The Wild" Sheridan lost to Lady Bianca de Sade 2 weeks ago. Tonight she is looking to rectify that loss and take the ULOL Campeon no Masculino for herself"
Jasmine Lee: "And her opponent, the ULOL Campeon no Masculino, Lady Bianca de Sade!"
'Rebirthing' by Skillet blasts over the arena as Lady Bianca de Sade comes out from the entrance tunnel. She walks down to the ring with The British Hawk following behind her. She waves to the fans as she enters the ring.
Brad Blood: "Why Lady Bianca is with that guy I will never understand."
Jim Jackson: "There are a few people who have said Lady de Sade winning the ULOL Campeon no Masculino was a fluke, tonight she hopes to prove them wrong by retaining the title."
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte!! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "There's the bell, Lady Bianca de Sade starting things off and strikes Sheridan, and follows that with a Flying elbow off the top rope"
Brad Blood: "WOW, Lady B getting as close to zero air as possible on that one. Lady B hooks the leg! Ooh, jello on bare skin looks sexy."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"
Jim Jackson: "Gina "The Wild" kicks out, Gina jumps up and kicks Lady Bianca de Sade in the gut."
Brad Blood: "That should reverse the momentum, not to mention give me a great shot at Lady B's cleavage!"
Jim Jackson: "You're ridiculous Brad, and I think Hawk heard that. Gina scoops and slams Lady Bianca de Sade."
Brad Blood: "Whatever, I can take that punk Hawk.., Oh Shit, did he hear that!? What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway?"
Jim Jackson: "Just stop talking Brad. Gina Sheridan with a spinning neck breaker on Lady B, Lady B looks like she's in trouble. Gina Sheridan hits a bulldog off the ropes, and she goes for the cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "ONE...TWO..."
Brad Blood: "NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. The Wild gets a stalling fallaway slam on Lady Bianca de Sade. WOO! More jello go flying into the air!"
Jim Jackson: "Lady Bianca de Sade manages to fight out of a grapple. Badly executed second rope splash by Lady B, she needs to get her head in the game if she wants to hold onto that belt!"
Brad Blood: "Back heel kick from Lady B on The Wild but it misses by miles. Lady B is blowing it out there. Speaking of Lady B and blowing you know what I'd like...,"
Jim Jackson: "Stop It Brad! The Wild blocks a punch. It looks like Gina is setting up for something big here. There seems to be some commotion coming from the crowd. It looks like a woman has jumped the barricade and she has entered the ring. where the hell is security?!"
Brad Blood: "No clue, but that woman has something in her hand, it's a cane and she just nailed Gina "The Wild" in the stomach with it, followed by a thunderous blow to the side of Gina's head. Wait, holy crap.., is that?!"
Jim Jackson: " It's Raven Connoly, she has black hair now, but that's Raven!! Don Q. Hotte call's for the bell. This match has been ruled a no contest!"
Brad Blood: "Blood is pouring out of the side of Gina's head from that shot she took from that cane, she is out cold! Raven turns and looks at Lady B, Lady B looks terrified, she's backed into the corner."
Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk runs into the ring, Raven nails Hawk with a Bloody Sunday and knocks him over the ropes and onto the arena floor!"
Brad Blood: "Lady B is frozen, Raven Connoly grabs Lady B and throws her into the turnbuckle, Raven Connoly runs towards Lady B, does a cartwheel jumping into the air and wrapping her legs around their head, Raven Connoly locks her legs around their head and pulls them to the mat locking in a koji clutch executing a 'Taste of Heaven' Lady B is furiously pounding on the mat!! WOO! Oh man look at Lady B struggling and tapping in jello!"
Jim Jackson: "Don Q. Hotte tries to break Ravens hold but he can't, Lady B is fading! Don Q. is screaming at Raven to let go, she will not break the hold, that's it, Lady B just passed out."
Brad Blood: "Raven finally breaks the hold, Raven has demolished everyone!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentleman, This match has been ruled a no contest by Don Q. Hotte. Which means Lady Bianca de Sade is still ULOL Campeon no Masculino!"
Jim Jackson: "Well Lady B keeps her title! Raven Connoly slides out of the ring and starts to make her way up the ramp. The fans are in shock, I am to, what the hell just happened?!"
Brad Blood: "Raven just made a statement, that's what happened!"The scene opens to The leader of the DWMA sitting at a table with Yuki Monotomo sitting around a big square table. The table had a green felt finish and the ULOL Campeónes Compañero championship belts sitting in the middle of the table. The camera pans to them and a glare reflects into the lens. The camera returns to the view of the the stable.
Ray Kamaura: "So last week we lost our match. Well I have news for Connoly and Billy, their win was nothing more than a mere fluke thanks to a distraction by the ULOL's very own Shogun. God forbid he could have left his nose out of our match. I don't know why Shogun decided to come out to the ring and I don't really care."
The giant turned around in his chair and reached into his grey gym bag and pulls out a few pieces of candy. He unwrapped one and popped it into his mouth before continuing on his rant.
Ray Kamaura: "Enough talk of Shogun. Tonight we have the biggest match of our career. I really think we have a good chance of winning this match. We have trained for this and even created some finishers for our entire stable. But we can't underestimate Team Getter. The first time we fought with them, Leon and myself greatly underestimated them and it almost cost us the match. Every ime we have clashed with them it has been a very up hill fight for us. I won't sugar coat it. They are fast and strong and they hit hard. But that has never stopped the DWMA from trying. Win or lose we will fight to the end. If the Getters have any sort of honor they will make it a far fight. Maybe they will wear some padded gloves too."
Ray and Leon chuckle together as Yuki sits with a blank expression on his face.The Rainman chuckled then he decide to focus on his belt. The said the word Fluke several times to himself before grabbing his water bottle and throwing it to the wall. Leon Hinomoto slammed his fists to the table.
Leon Hinomoto: "I worked for years to get to this point in my career. Ray and I won these titles by the sweat of our brows and the strength of our backs. We never gave up and we never quit. We have grown stronger and faster with every crushing defeat we have suffered. But we also grew stronger and faster with every victory that we secured. We fought and failed several times to win the ULOL Campeónes Compañero! But finally after all our defeats, after every time we felt the heart break of walking back to the locker room, after each loss, after each failure, after each time we were unable to win, we pushed past the pain and gave it everything we had. The DWMA came out on top. We proved that we are champions. We are suppose to hold these titles proud above our heads."
Leon reached across the green felted table and grabs the ULOL Campeónes Compañero championship belt and hold it high above his head. Leon says the word fluke again but this time its more in a mocking tone.
Leon Hinomoto: "If the DWMA are fluke champions then Team Getter, The Lord of the Rings, AAA, The Age of Pain or whatever they call themselves now, they are nothing. Don't get me wrong I won't dare underestimate them. Any of them. They all might as well be the number one contenders. But they aren't. Troy gave the Getters this chance and I respect them but they won't be taking this belt from me."
Leon throws the golden belt over his shoulder and motions for Yuki to say whats on his mind.Yuki looks up to the ceiling. A tiny drop of water plummets to the table, moistening the center slightly. Yuki looks at his stablemates, caressing their gilded titles. He slowly raises his head back to the ceiling, with a blank expression still.
Yuki Monotomo: "It's raining. For the first night in awhile, it's raining. It may be a small leak, but it'll become a bigger one if we don't patch it up. It's going to cause problems if we don't plug it immediately. I don't want this thing to hinder us whatsoever. This tiny leak isn't going to stop me. It started out so small, but it can become so troublesome."
The ladies' man tilts his chair back, holding onto the table with only his feet. He continues to stare at the leak, slowly gaining water on the DWMA's ceiling. Then the water falls again in the same spot. He looks to his comrades, their titles flash in his eyes. He glances back up the the leaking ceiling.
Yuki Monotomo: "We should've plugged our other "leak" when it first stated. They seemed like such a joke. Two guys out of a damn anime and a fat-ass self-proclaimed "holy man". The anime dumbasses I could deal without, but the damn "holy man". He's like a bigger drop. It just keeps making the hole bigger and bigger. He's causing us, causing me, problems. He knocks a referee out with his fat ass, then wins the championship because of a lucky catch. We're plugging this leak tonight, and we're keeping our titles and I'm winning mine. They belong to the DWMA. This little leak of a team isn't going to last long. We're going to stop it and we're going to get our titles. We've worked so hard for them. So many hours training."
Yuki leans his head back and stares at a mountain of destroyed dummies of all types ranging from sandbags to felt to even wooden dummies. The water strikes the table yet again, drawing his attention back to the table. He stares up at the leaking ceiling as he speaks.
Yuki Monotomo: "This little team can't stand up to what the DWMA has prepared. We're getting the titles and keeping them. We will have our regime over the other superstars. Among the humans of the ULOL, we will be gods. All we have to do is plug one. Little. Leak."The leader of the DWMA looked onto his fellow member and then changed his gaze to the roof. Then he switched back to Yuki.
Ray Kamaura: "Yuki there is some spackle in the back if that leak bothers you that much." | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Ay Caramba! 07/31/2011 Sun Jul 31, 2011 3:57 pm | |
| Allister King and Samantha King are walking out of the arena when suddenly a wild person appears. Allister thinks the music that plays when you encounter a wild pokemon in the grass appears is playing.
Allister King: "Well look who it is? How ya been mate?"
The Camera turns around and shows Shadow Callahan standing near the exit
Shadow Callahan: "Like a raven with his wings removed."
Allister King: "Ouch! Hey come with us, we will show ya how to live like a king. No pun intended."
Shadow and Samantha both stare at Allister
Allister King: "Okay the pun was intended."
Shadow Callahan: "Well I don't have a match tonight."
Allister King: "Way to go! After tonight you won't be the same again."
Samantha King: "I hate to say this but he is probably right."
Allister King: "And besides you're too depressed, you could do with a bit of self indulgence."
Shadow Callahan: "I don't see the harm in it."
Allister King: "OK let's go."
Allister, Samantha and Shadow exit the arena and enter a limousine. The limo pulls away as the camera fades to black.As the scene opens, the camera is on the floor of a room, as evidenced by the feet of a person lying in front of the camera and the bottom of a couch beside said person.Alexander Conway: "What in the hell did you do Ethan? I don't even think this guy is breathing...."Alexander enters the frame as he leans over the downed cameraman. He places his hand on the cameraman's throat before putting his ear next to the man's mouth to check if he's breathing.Alexander Conway: "Shit, Ethan...I think you might have actually killed him."Ethan O'Reilly: "Try giving him CPR."Alexander Conway: "What? I'm not certified to give people CPR."Ethan O'Reilly: "Fine, let him die. No one will care."Alexander Conway: "Why don't you give him CPR then?"Ethan O'Reilly: "Alexander, we don't have time to argue! This man could die because you didn't stop me from punching him!"Alexander Conway: "You're an asshole, Ethan. You know that? Now go get the doctor."As Ethan leaves, Alexander looks a bit worried, but nonetheless begins pushing on the chest of the cameraman.As the door opens again, the camera gets kicked and spun away from the action. It remains like this for five minutes as Dr. Booboo B. Gone directs traffic and tells everyone what needs to be done. When the camera is finally picked up, the cameraman is on a stretcher and being taken out of the room as Dr. Booboo B. Gone follows. The camera then moves away from where the accident happened and goes to the far end of the locker room before being pointed at Alexander Conway. Alexander waves the camera away however, so the camera gets spun around before revealing that Ethan O'Reilly is actually the one handling it at this point.Ethan O'Reilly: "Fine, I'll start. DWMA, Getters, I hope you guys are watching this. You see, it doesn't matter who wins your little tag match later tonight, because there is only one team in the ULOL that actually matters. This team is known as The Lords of the Ring. Alexander and I are going to be coming for those tag team titles very soon, and you can sure that there is not going to be a thing that anyone can do to stop us. We aren't called The Lords of the Ring for nothing. Although for the record, I hope you guys in The DWMA win, but that's only because you are the weaker team."Before Ethan can continue, Alexander begins speaking despite not being in the camera frame.Alexander Conway: "Ethan, will you shut up? We can talk about the tag titles later, right now I want to talk about my match. You know, the only match tonight that actually matters."Ethan looks a bit disappointed upon hearing that, but he still spins the camera back around to face Alexander."Ethan O'Reilly: "Sure Conway, it's not like I wanted to speak about the tag titles or the fact that we are a tag team anyway."Alexander Conway: "Good. Now I am going to do what I was going to do before you incapacitated the cameraman, and that is shoot a promo."Ethan O'Reilly: "Will you shut up about the cameraman already? I said I was sorry."Alexander Conway: "No you didn't! All you did was say that he should have knocked before entering, even though I had told you that he was coming!"Ethan O'Reilly: "Oh yeah....alright then, carry on."Alexander lets out a sigh before shaking his head at Ethan.Alexander Conway: "The ULOL fans have been so excited and happy lately. You see, one of their heroes has actually started to win matches! Andrew Hunter has stopped being a jobber long enough to win the Boleto Dorado, and his fans are just so happy to finally be able to witness him succeeding. It's such a shame that Andrew's rise is going to end tonight. It's too bad that they'll never get to see Andrew win his first championship."Alexander grabs the Ligero Maximo Championship off of a nearby table.Alexander Conway: "It's too bad that they'll never see him win this."Alexander thrusts the title in front of the camera before throwing it over his shoulder.Alexander Conway: "There aren't many days when I am actually glad to be the Ligero Maximo Champion, but this is definitely one of them. Andrew Hunter has tried so hard to claw and climb his way out of the deep dark pit of obscurity that all jobbers reside in, only to have me kick him right back down it when I take his Boleto Dorado from him."Despite being so far away from the ring, the sounds of the fans boos can still be heard.Alexander Conway: "What's that? You people don't want the story to end? You want the Hero to triumph over the Villain? What does this look like? A goddamn fairytale? This is real life, people. In real life, the good guys always finish last, and that's exactly where Hunter will be finishing."Alexander moves closer to the camera before continuing.Alexander Conway: "Hunter, you foolishly accepted my challenge and now you will foolishly fall in front of all the people who have supported you. There was never a chance of you defeating me, and now you are going to realize just why that is. I hope you have said good-bye to your ticket, because this will be the last you see of it."As Conway finishes, the camera gets spun around again to face Ethan O'Reilly.Ethan O'Reilly: "But wait, there's more! Not only do you get to look forward to that, but you also get to look forward to seeing me, Ethan O'Reilly, sitting next to the commentary table as I watch the action! I would sit at the commentary table and provide my own take on the match, but Brad Blood whinned about it to management and I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to. Oh, but not only this Hunter, there's still more! For the next five minutes after Alexander defeats you, you are going to officially be my bitch!"Ethan gives the camera a smirk before it suddenly plunges to the ground. As it hits the ground with a THUD, the picture goes out while the audio remains functional.Alexander Conway: "What did you do that for? We can't just go around breaking company equipment!"Ethan O'Reilly: "Why not? That new guy has broken many an arm of a security guard and Connoly broke a bunch of equipment and didn't have to pay for it. Why can't I do the same?"Alexander Conway: "That's....actually a good point. I guess it doesn't matter if you break Troy's camera."Ethan O'Reilly: "Hey Alexander, do you think that cameraman will be alright?"Alexander Conway: "You stopped his heart. Normally, I'd say no. But since this is the ULOL, I think he'll be fine. Never do it again though. Only Shadow Callahan and Zombie are allowed to kill people."Ethan O'Reilly: "Oh....well that sucks."A few moments pass before Ethan begins speaking again.Ethan O'Reilly: "Did you hear about that new wrestler? Apparently Troy is paying him more money than he's paying us."Alexander Conway: "WHAT!? THE HELL HE IS!"Ethan O'Reilly: "Alexander, where are you going? Alex? Alex?"A loud SLAM is heard as Alexander presumably has flung open his locker room door in a fit of a rage.Ethan O'Reilly: "Oh, would you look at that. The camera is still on...."A little click is heard before everything goes silent.   & & VS & & Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a winners take all, six man elimination match for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero and the Correa Grande Del Oro De Musashi Kuruma. Introducing first, the ULOL Campeónes Compañero, Ray Kamaura and Leon Hinomoto of The DWMA!"
The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura and Leon walk slowly to the start of the ramp. The two superstars stop and the lights turn back on after lightning strikes behind them. The lasers continue as Ray and Leon slowly enter the ring. They go to different ring posts and climb them and raise the Campeónes Compañero into the air, then strike a pose. Ray and Leon move to the same side of the ring and wait for their challengers.Jasmine Lee: "And now, introducing their tag team partner, also a member of The DWMA, Yuki Monotomo!"Welcome to the Club Now by Manian plays for a dimly lighted stage. The lights begin to flash with the beat as Yuki Monotmo walks to the stage, taking time to flirt with the ladies.Jasmine Lee: "And now, introducing the first of their opponents, he is the holder of the Correa Grande Del Oro De Musashi Kuruma, he is Musashi Kuruma!"Dragon by JAM Project plays as footage from an old Japanese anime runs on the Titan Tron, the lights go dim, and fog covers the stage. Once the music starts to become more lively, the lights return to their normal brightness and Musashi runs enthusiastically to the ring through the fog, followed by a line of fireworks down both sides of the ramp, attempting (but failing miserably) to jump onto the mat through the ropes. Once he's disentangled himself, he goes (much more calmly this time) to his corner and offers up a quick prayer to Buddha.Jasmine Lee: "And finally, his teammates for tonight, Ryoma Ichimonji and Hayato Tachibana, the Getter Team!"Ryoma and Hayato walk out onto the stage as footage from a Japanese anime is shown on the Titantron, and Ima ga Sono Toki da by Ichiro Mizuki plays. Fireworks erupt from the edges of the stage, which Hayato uses to light a cigarette while Ryoma adjusts his gloves, grinning creepily as he looks around the arena. Their trip down the ramp is less flashy, with Ryoma running toward the ring and jumping right in while Hayato walks slowly enough to enjoy his smoke before joining his partner. Once in the ring, he puts out the cigarette on the turnbuckle as usual, while Ryoma can barely keep himself still with all the adrenaline running through him.Jim Jackson: "We have an interesting match here tonight. These two teams will have to fight until one team has been completely eliminated from this contest by way of pinfall, submission, DQ, or count-out!"Brad Blood: "More importantly than that, Jim, the winning team acquires the titles of the losing team. I wonder who would actually get the titles in the case of one of these teams winning."Jim Jackson: "If the DWMA win, one has to think that Yuki would be given the Correa. If the Getter Team and Musashi win, one has to think that the Getter Team would be the new holders of the Campeónes Compañero."Brad Blood: "Yeah, but no one has said the titles have to go the them. Ray or Leon could become a double champ if they win. The same goes for Musashi."Jim Jackson: "I guess we'll just have to wait and see how things play out."Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"Jim Jackson: "Musashi and Yuki will be starting this match out. Musashi and Yuki lock up for a test of strength, but Yuki quickly transitions into a headlock! Musashi tries to back suplex Yuki, but Yuki flips over him and pulls him right back into the headlock!"
Brad Blood: "Yuki is making a fool out of Musashi. He's giving the bald head of Musashi a noogie! Musashi breaks free of Yuki's grasp, only to walk into an arm drag! As Musashi scrambles back to his feet, Yuki pulls him into another headlock."Jim Jackson: "Musashi gives Yuki a hard punch to the rib to escape the headlock. Musashi goes for a clothesline, but Yuki ducks it before pulling Musashi into yet another headlock!"
Brad Blood: "Yuki pulls Musashi's head close to his groin...wuhahahaha! He just humped Musashi's head! Musashi looks furious!"Jim Jackson: "Who wouldn't be? He's showing no respect to his opponent. Yuki's trying to joke around with the other members of The DWMA, but Musashi spins him around a starts throwing right hand after right hand into Yuki's face!"
Brad Blood: "Irish whip into the corner from Musashi. Musashi charges in and hits Yuki with a big clothesline! He lifts Yuki up for a bodyslam, but Yuki slides down before making a tag to Leon!"
Jim Jackson: "Leon steps in and get hit by a dropkick! Musashi with a DDT! Musashi makes the tag to Hayato, who gives Leon a good kick to the head before dragging him back to the Getter corner. Tag to Ryoma. Hayato irish whips Leon at Ryoma, who decks him with a big clothesline!"
Brad Blood: "Ryoma lifts Leon up for a bodyslam, but tosses him halfway across the ring to Leon's own corner! As Leon gets to his feet, Ryoma runs at him for a clothesline, but Leon ducks and Ryoma flies into the turnbuckles! Tag to Ray Kamura. Ray and Leon wail on Ryoma with punches as the referee counts. Before he gets to five, Leon exits the ring."
Jim Jackson: "Ray immediately tags Leon back in. Ray irish whips Leon at Ryoma, but Ryoma ducks the clothesline and takes Ray down with a spear! Leon turns around and gets squashed by the samoan drop! Hayato calls for a tag, but Ryoma ignores him!"
Brad Blood: "Bad move by Ryoma. Quick tags are vital in matches such as this."
Jim Jackson: "Short-arm clothesline by Ryoma! Ryoma gives Leon a few stomps before dropping an elbow onto his chest. And there's a second elbow drop! And a third! And a fourth! Leon's chest has to be killing him. Ryoma with a fifth elbow drop before going for the cover."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."
Brad Blood: "Leon pops the shoulder just in the nick of time! Neckbreaker from Ryoma! He's got Leon up for a suplex, but Ray's reached into the ring and has pulled Leon down! Ryoma argues with Ray as Leon recovers. Dropkick from Leon!"
Jim Jackson: "Leon kicks Ryoma in the gut before DDTing him to the mat. Leon tags Yuki. Yuki climbs onto the top rope as Leon grabs a hold of him. Aided splash! Yuki stays on Ryoma for the cover."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."
Brad Blood: "Ryoma barely got the shoulder up in time. Yuki stomps on Ryoma's chest a few times before walking over to Musashi and slapping him! Musashi tries to get in the ring, but the referee holds him back!"
Jim Jackson: "And while the referee is distracted, Leon and Ray join Yuki in the ring. Yuki Monotomo superkicks Ryoma into a superkick from Leon Hinomoto before Ray Kamaura runs between them and spears Ryoma! The DWMA just hit the Ping Pong on Ryoma!"
Brad Blood: "Hahaha! Musashi is causing his partner to get the shit knocked out of him!"
Jim Jackson: "The referee turns around as Ray and Leon bail out of the ring. Yuki goes for the cover after the beatdown."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."
Brad Blood: "That stupid fat monk broke up the pinfall! Yuki looks pissed. He rolls Ryoma over before walking onto Ryoma's back. Hahaha! Yuki is dancing on the back of Ryoma!"
Jim Jackson: "What is wrong with him? He has no respect for anyone!"
Brad Blood: "Yuki stomps on the head of Ryoma before sticking his hand into his pants! He rubs his tool for a bit before lifting Ryoma's head and wiping his hand all over Ryoma's face!"
Jim Jackson: "Yuki punts Ryoma's head before walking over to the Getter corner again and humping the air."
Brad Blood: "Look at Musashi! He's furious over there! These monks really must hate acts of disrespect."
Jim Jackson: "Musashi breaks past the referee and dives into Yuki! He's raining down fists as Leon and Ray enter the ring. Now Hayato's getting in! We've got a brawl as these man start throwing punches into one another! The referee has lost control of this match!"
Brad Blood: "Ray and Leon have just clotheslined Musashi over the ropes! They turn around, only to get dropkicked over the ropes by Hayato!"
Jim Jackson: "And now Yuki throws Hayato over the ropes! It's just him and Ryoma now. As Yuki turns around, he walks right into a big boot from Ryoma! Ryoma with the flapjack! Here's the cover."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Yuki get a shoulder up at two. Ryoma grabs Yuki and begins repeatedly kneeing him in the stomach before tossing him into the Getter corner!"
Jim Jackson: "Tag to Hayato. Big boot from Ryoma as Hayato takes Yuki down with an STO! Hayato knocks Ray off of the apron before dropkicking Leon off as well. It looks like Hayato wants to finish Yuki off."
Brad Blood: "But Yuki pulls Hayato into a small package!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Hayato forces Yuki off of him at two. enzuigiri from Hayato! Hayato uses the ropes for momentum and knocks Yuki back down with a jumping elbow! Bulldog from Hayato! He's really fired up."
Brad Blood: "Blind tag made from Ryoma. Hayato looks annoyed, but lets it slide. Yuki blocks a punch before backhanding Ryoma! Damn!"
Jim Jackson: "Ryoma goes for another punch, but Yuki ducks under it before hitting Ryoma with another backhand! Ryoma tries to kick Yuki in the gut, but Yuki catches the kick before pulling Ryoma into a slap!"
Brad Blood: "Ryoma lifts Yuki into the air before slamming him to the mat and throwing punches like crazy into Yuki's body and face! Yuki jabs Ryoma in the eye before rolling out of the ring for a break."
Jim Jackson: "But Ryoma quickly slides out after him and throws him into the guardrail! He slams Yuki's head onto the ring apron before rolling Yuki back into the ring. Ryoma lifts Yuki into a fireman's carry, but Ray reaches into the ring and grabs Yuki's foot! He's pulled Yuki out of Ryoma's grasp! Ryoma punches Ray off of the apron while Yuki tags out to Leon!"
Brad Blood: "Leon punches Ryoma in the back of the head before back suplexing him! Leon's applying a chinlock? You don't see that very often."
Jim Jackson: "Ryoma grabs Leon's head and just pulls him over his shoulder! That's a unique way to break out of a chinlock."
Brad Blood: "Leon tags in Ray. Ray grabs Ryoma by the throat, but Ryoma stomps on Ray's foot before kneeing Ray in the head! Ryoma irish whips Ray into the ropes, but gets kicked in the face when he goes for the back body drop!"
Jim Jackson: "Bodyslam from Ray! Ray tags Leon back in. The DWMA get in position for the Final Rain. Leon goes for the superkick on Ryoma, but Ryoma ducks! Leon just superkicked Ray! Ryoma tags Hayato before hitting Leon with the Getter Beam! Hayato finishes Leon off with the Mach Special! They call that merger of moves the Getter Change Attack! Hayato goes for the cover."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Leon Hinomoto has been eliminated!"
Brad Blood: "I don't believe it, one half of the tag team champions just got eliminated! First!"
Jim Jackson: "Yuki charges into the ring, only to be roundhouse kicked by Hayato, who tags back in Ryoma. Suplex from Ryoma!"
Brad Blood: "Hang on a second, Jim. Leon is throwing a fuss about being eliminated and he's got the attention of both the referee and Ryoma. Yuki just low blowed Ryoma! He rolls Ryoma up as Leon hops off of the apron!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Ryoma Ichimonji has been eliminated!"
Jim Jackson: "So he cheats to even up the sides."
Brad Blood: "You can call it cheating if you want, but Charlie Sheen and I will call it winning!"
Jim Jackson: "As Musashi enters the ring, Yuki tags out to Ray! Musashi with an arm drag! And a second! Ray gets back up only to be hip tossed. Ray gets up again, but this time kicks Musashi in the gut! Ray knees Musashi in the face before lifting him up for a chokeslam, but Musashi counters into a guillotine choke!"
Brad Blood: "Ray slams Musashi against a turnbuckle, but Musashi hangs on! Ray falls to his knees before falling to the mat! Musashi has that choke in tight, Ray might actually be out."
Jim Jackson: "The referee raises an arm...it drops once. He raises it again, but before he drops it Yuki kicks Musashi in the head to break up the hold! Yuki exits to the apron, but Musashi tries to punch him! Yuki ducks before grabbing Musashi's head and dropping to the floor as Musashi's throat snaps off of the rope!"
Brad Blood: "Musashi crawls towards Hayato before making a tag. I think Musashi might need medical attention, it looks like he can't breathe."
Jim Jackson: "Hayato dropkicks Ray into Yuki, who makes the tag! Yuki runs in, only to be flipped by the japanese arm drag from Hayato! Hayato irish whips Yuki into the corner before following him in and hitting him with his forearm! Hayato positions Yuki onto the top rope before also climbing up. Super Emerald Fusion! Hayato goes for the cover!"
Brad Blood: "But Ray is distracting the referee! Hayato gets up and drags the referee away from Ray before again going for the cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."
Jim Jackson: "Ray pulls Hayato off of Yuki and out of the ring! Before Hayato can react, Kamaura levels him with a huge clothesline! Kamaura graps Hayato by the throat before lifting him up and slamming him to the ground with the Game Changer! Yuki slide out of the ring. Both men grab under an arm of Hayato. They hoist him onto his feet before tossing him over the ropes and into the ring!"
Brad Blood: "Man, that guy can fly! Yuki slides into the ring and goes for the cover."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."
Jim Jackson: "Somehow, Hayato managed to kick out. Half-nelson suplex from Yuki! Another cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."
Brad Blood: "Hayato kicks out again! Yuki lifts Hayato up and piledrives him to the mat before going for another cover."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."
Jim Jackson: "Hayato is showing inhuman resilience! Yuki irish whips him into the corner before tagging out. Ray irish whips Yuki, who uses the momentum for a clothesline on Hayato!"
Brad Blood: "Ray Kamaura waits as Hayato weakly gets to his feet. Ray Kamaura falls back and bounces off the ropes before kicking Hayato on the back of the head! This has to be it! Ray hooks the leg."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."
Jim Jackson: "And Hayato continues to hang on! Ray forces Hayato to his feet before kicking him in the gut. Ray puts his right shoulder to the back of Hayato's neck, grabs the back of his legs and quickly lifts Hayato up. Ray holds the pose for a few seconds and then falls onto his butt, crushing Hayato's neck on his shoulder! Kamaura hit the End Game!"
Brad Blood: "That's it. It was a good effort Hayato, but I'm afraid that it's game over."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Hayato Tachibana has been eliminated!"
Jim Jackson: "Well, with Hayato eliminated, this has now become a one vs. two handicap match. Musashi has to defeat both Yuki Monotomo and Ray Kamaura to not only retain his own title, but to win the tag team titles."
Brad Blood: "As Musashi comes in, Ray tries for a big boot, but Musashi ducks it! Musashi gives Ray a hard chop to the chest! And another! Oh, he's just lighting up Kamaura's chest with chop after chop!"
Jim Jackson: "But Ray grabs Musashi and knees him in the gut! Ray irish whips Musashi into the ropes before back body dropping him! Shoulder tackle from Ray Kamaura! Ray tags in Yuki. Double samoan drop! Yuki tries for the pin."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Musashi kicks out at two. Air raid crash from Yuki! Where's he going? He's out of the ring and is talking with a few female fans at ringside!"
Jim Jackson: "This is a bad move on Yuki's part. Musashi is recovering in the ring while Yuki is fooling around."
Brad Blood: "He trying to get lucky, Jim. He's giving the women his room number! Oh man, they are pretty hot."
Jim Jackson: "Yuki slides back into the ring, only to be lifted onto Musashi's shoulders! Wait! Ray Kamaura just tagged Yuki! Musashi doesn't realize it as he spins in place! He tosses Yuki onto the mat with the Daisetsuzan Oroshi, but gets booted in the back of the head by Ray Kamaura! Ray covers him!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Musashi kicks out at two. Ray suplexes Musashi before dropping a knee onto Musashi's face. He covers him once again."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Musashi again kicks out at two. Exploder suplex from Kamaura! Ray bounces off of the ropes before dropping a big leg down onto Musashi! Cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."
Brad Blood: "Again Musashi kicks out! Kamaura pulls Musashi to his feet before grabbing Musashi by the throat. He lifts Musashi up, but Musashi counters into an armbar! Musashi is really applying the pressure!"
Jim Jackson: "Ray sees Yuki and starts calling out to him, but Yuki is ignoring Ray!"
Brad Blood: "He's out of Musashi's field of view, so he probably wants to steal the glory for himself."
Jim Jackson: "Ray continues to yell for Yuki to help him, but Yuki doesn't budge! Ray is left with no choice, he taps out!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Ray Kamaura has been eliminated!"
Brad Blood: "As Musashi releases the arm of Kamaura and gets up, Yuki charges at him."
Jim Jackson: "But Musashi sees him and lifts Yuki up over his head. He begins spinning in place, but Yuki is able to use the momentum to fall behind Musashi and roll him up!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Musashi Kuruma has been eliminated! Your winners via complete team elimination, Yuki Monotomo, Ray Kamaura, and Leon Hinomoto, The DWMA!"
Brad Blood: "I don't believe it! Musashi looked poised to win this match, but Yuki was able to make a great counter and get the win!"
Jim Jackson: "The DWMA didn't just retain the Campeónes Compañero, but they also won the Correa!"
Brad Blood: "I guess these guys have earned this. Maybe they weren't fluke champions afterall."Have you always wanted a pet but cannot afford one?
Have you always wanted a pet but is afraid that it'll destroy the furniture?
Have you always wanted a pet but do not have the time to feed and walk it?
WELL TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY!
HERE AT FREE CAT INC. WE WILL SOLVE ALL THOSE PESKY LITTLE ISSUES YOU HAVE! OWN A PET NOW HASSLE FREE! NO NEED TO FEED IT, NO NEED TO WALK IT! NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING! SO CALL NOW AT 1-800-FREE-CAT! AND WE'LL DELIVER YOUR VERY OWN FREE CAT RIGHT TO YOUR DOORSTEP FOR FREE!!!Zombie does not looks pleased as he enters the office of the general manager Marcus Troy. Troy who summoned the undead wrestler motions for him to sit but Zombie remains standing glaring at him. He casually lights up a cigar and begins to talk to the undead wrestler who was once his staunchest ally.
Marcus Troy: "Zombie... I know you are upset about the arrangement I had with Q, but did you also realize that Q's people dropped all charges against you too? Yes, that's right, it was part of the deal. I was also looking out for your well-being... Now, we had a good alliance, you and I and we could have it still."
Troy looks at Zombie in the eyes.
Marcus Troy: "Working with Q was a necessity and not a choice Zombie, you should be smart enough to realize that if I didn't make a deal of sorts with Q that I'd still be rotting in that dungeon of theirs in god knows where. Now, we what do you say we patch things up again and maybe figure a way we can both benefit again? Think about it."
Troy and Zombie stare at each other as the scene fades to black. | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Ay Caramba! 07/31/2011 Sun Jul 31, 2011 3:58 pm | |
| As the scene opens, Alexander Conway is seen stomping through the halls in anger as he progresses towards the office of Marcus Troy.
Alexander Conway: "Hate...and anger...so intense...can't breathe...must make...promo!"Alexander suddenly stops and turns to face the camera before walking closer to it.Alexander Conway: "Alright, whatever your name is, we're going to make this fast as I have an unscheduled meeting with Marcus Troy here in the next few minutes."Alexander takes a breath before waiting for the cameraman's signal to start.Alexander Conway: "So here we go again. Shogun is once more proving how much of an idiot he is. In fact, he's almost reaching the level of Jack Johnson. Shogun, when I refused to fight Zombie, it was because the match was unfair and quite frankly, morbid. There wasn't much of a chance of me retaining my title, and I am not going to get into a match where the win is based off of who bites the other person. It's not being a coward, it's called being practical. Although, if there is a coward in this company, it is you. You, who used Marcus Troy for weeks in order to keep the Primo Ultimo Championship around his waist. You, who joined the boycott because you were too much of a coward to accept Marcus Troy back. And you, who is too much of a coward to simply accept that Q beat you. Maybe you should watch what you try and say Shogun, because all you seem to do is make an embarrassment out of yourself every week."Alexander rolls up his sleeve to look at his watch before continuing to speak.Alexander Conway: "You want a match? It's about time you decided to face me again. I'll defeat you much like I did in our steel cage match. It won't make much of a difference, however, because I am sure you'll just find something else to bitch about right after I defeat you. Maybe you'll run around saying that I sent out a fake Alexander Conway to defeat you? I do know how much you like to play the part of the little brat, Shogun. Or maybe you'll run around with that fake title of yours and try and say that you are still the best wrestler in the world? That's probably it. All of the heels in this company have proven to just be so ingenious in their style of play. And by that, I mean every heel here is basically the same. You curs are all as original and expendable as simple dirt farmers."Alexander begins walking away from the camera, but his voice can still be heard.Alexander Conway: "Once I defeat you and your blandness once again Shogun, you may as well scrap this failed face turn of yours and just go back to being the "Demonic Failure" that we already hated you for."Alexander continues to walk away from the camera as the scene fades to black.The camera is tailing Alexander Conway as he approaches the office of the General Manager of the United League of Lunatics, Marcus Troy. A secretary attempts to stop Conway, but to no avail. Without knocking, Alexander swings open the door to the office and walks right in, uninvited and unwelcomed, before walking over to Marcus's desk. Alexander gives Marcus a smile before pushing the things on the desk towards Marcus. After clearing himself a nice little section of desk, Alexander takes a seat on the desk.Alexander Conway: "Hey, buddy. Word on the grapevine is that you hired some new guy and are now paying him more money than you are paying me. Now, you and I both know that that's unacceptable."Alexander places a hand on Marcus's shoulder.Alexander Conway: "I mean, we are such great friends after all."Troy brushes Alexander's hand from his shoulder as Alexander continues speaking.Alexander Conway: "I've joined two federations that you have run now, when I could have signed anywhere else. I defended you when the wrestlers wanted to boycott and I actually was glad to see you return. I also helped to injure The Morbidly Obese Man. I've done so much for you recently, not to mention all of the great matches I have provided for your federation. But now I feel like our friendship is being slightly abused. I've given you so much when you have given me so little in return. What I am getting at, Troy, is that I think that I deserve a present from you. One that consists of a dollar sign followed by a one and many zeros being placed into my bank account."The general manager of ULOL merely looks at the ULOL Ligero Maximo title holder before waving him off.
Marcus Troy: "Come back next week Conway, I have other things to do right now and don't have the time to entertain you."
Conway stares at Troy with dagger looks...
Marcus Troy: "What? You didn't hear me? Are you deaf? I'll handle your request next week, now if I'm not mistaken you still have a match tonight which will start in a few minutes."
The scene fades to black as Conway storms off angrily.   VS Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentleman, the following contest is a ladder match and is for both the ULOL Ligero Maximo Championship and the Boleto Dorado! Introducing first, the holder of the Boleto Dorado, being accompanied to the ring by Christopher Bain, he is Andrew Hunter!""New Divide" by Linkin Park blasts through the arena. Andrew Hunter appears on the top of the ramp, straightening out his elbow pads. He cracks a grin as he begins walking down the ramp. He slaps the hands of the fans on his left, followed by the fans on his right, seeming to enjoy the spotlight. He slides underneath the ropes and quickly bounces back up, jumping up on a turnbuckle and staring into the audience.Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, the ULOL Ligero Maximo Champion, being accompanied to the ring by Ethan O'Reilly, he is Alexander Conway!""Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F blares throughout the arena as Alexander Conway steps out from the backstage of the ULOL. He looks over the booing audience before he walks down to the ring.Jim Jackson: "Why is Ethan O'Reilly coming out here?"Brad Blood: "Why is Ethan O'Reilly out here!? Why is Christopher Bain out here?"Jim Jackson: "Oh come on, Brad. We know that Bain isn't going to get involved with either this match or Alexander. Bain is just here to offer Hunter support."
Brad Blood: "Bain's more likely to get involved than Ethan is. I am pretty sure Ethan has yet to interfere in a match here in the ULOL."
Jim Jackson: "That may be true, but Ethan has a history of attacking people after matches."Brad Blood: "And what's wrong with that? It makes for some great entertainment!"Jasmine Lee: "LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"Jim Jackson: "As the bell rings to start this match, Alexander drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring for a ladder. Andrew looks to want to do the same, but instead charges towards the ropes before flying through them for an early suicide dive!"Brad Blood: "But Conway manages to sidestep while putting the ladder in Hunter's path! I'm glad that move is named the suicide dive, because Hunter just damn near killed himself!"
Jim Jackson: "Conway grabs Hunter and slams his face into the steel steps before sliding the ladder into the ring. Suplex from Conway! Alexander walks around the ring to get a second ladder and slides it into the ring as well."
Brad Blood: "As Conway attempts to enter the ring, Hunter comes out of nowhere and knocks him to the floor with a dropkick! Hunter takes one of the ladders and sets it up, but before he can climb it, Conway lifts him up for a back suplex! Wait! Hunter used the ladder to flip behind Conway! Reverse DDT from Hunter!"Jim Jackson: "A dropkick from Hunter sends Conway into the corner! Andrew runs in only to get a boot in the face! Corkscrew cutter from Alexander! Conway climbs onto the turnbuckle. He leaps for a moonsault as Andrew rolls away, but Conway lands on his feet before landing on Andrew with a standing moonsault!"Brad Blood: "Conway drops an elbow onto Hunter's chest before grabbing a ladder and dragging it underneath the title and the ticket. Alexander begins to climb as Andrew recovers. Alexander makes it to the top of the ladder as Andrew climbs onto the turnbuckle. Andrew with a flying dropkick to Alexander just before he can unhook the items!"Jim Jackson: "As Hunter approaches Conway, Conway gives him a hard elbow shot to the stomach before lighting up Hunter's chest with a series of stiff chops! Conway kicks Hunter in the gut before lifting him onto his shoulders for a powerbomb, but Hunter grabs onto the ladder and pulls himself out of Conway's grasp! Conway grabs onto Hunter's leg, only to be kicked off as Hunter continues to climb the ladder!"
Brad Blood: "Hunter reaches the top and begins unhooking the items as Conway quickly scampers up the same side! Hunter almost has the items unhooked, but a hard shot to his back stops him! Hunter and Conway exchange a few elbows as they try to knock the other man off. Conway grabs Hunter and russian leg sweeps him off of the ladder!"Jim Jackson: "But that hurt Conway just as much as it hurt Andrew! Conway forces himself to get to his feet. He bounces off of the ropes and catches Hunter with a running calf kick! Conway grabs the second ladder and sets it on the second rope and inbetween two rungs of the first ladder. Conway drags Hunter over before suplexing Hunter onto this steel bridge!"Brad Blood: "Conway straightens Hunter out on the ladder before climbing onto the turnbuckle. Conway goes for a frog splash, but Hunter rolls off of the ladder just in time! Conway writhing in pain as Hunter pulls him to his feet. Andrew Hunter kicks Alexander Conway in the gut and tucks his head under his adversary's arm and lifts Conway up and slams him backward with an arch of the back!"Jim Jackson: "Hunter just hit the Target Practice! Andrew takes a few moments to catch his breath before going towards the ladder as Alexander begins to stir. Hunter starts to make the climb. Ethan's yelling at Alexander, telling him to move and that Hunter is almost to the top. Although groggy, Alexander uses the ladder to pull himself to his feet as Andrew reaches the top."Brad Blood: "As Andrew begins unhooking the items, Alexander quickly climbs up and punches him in the rib before he can get the items unhooked! The two begin to exchange punches. Andrew gives Alexander a few unanswered punches before grabbing the items and attempting to unhook them again! Alexander stops Hunter by raking his eyes! Super swinging neckbreaker from the top of the ladder!"
Jim Jackson: "Alexander just took as much out of himself as he did out of Andrew. Both Bain and O'Reilly try to encourage their friend to get up, but Alexander is the first one to get to his feet. He pulls Hunter to his feet, only to get a punch to the face! Hunter irish whips Conway into the corner before running in and hitting him with a clothesline. Hunter positions Conway onto the top rope."
Brad Blood: "What in the hell is Hunter doing?"Jim Jackson: "Hunter climbs onto the top rope as well before giving Conway a few more shots to the head. Hunter goes for the Frankensteiner, but Conway hangs onto the ropes! Hunter slammed down hard onto the canvas! Conway leaps from the turnbuckle. Bringing his knees to his chest, Alexander performs a frontflip before continuing the rotation and landing back-first onto Andrew Hunter with the 630˚ Senton!"
Brad Blood: "What a move! Alexander could win this match right now, but it looks as if he wants to do more damage to Andrew. He pulls Hunter up before pulling Hunter in. Is Conway signaling for Petey William's Canadian Destroyer?"Jim Jackson: "It appears that he is, but Hunter isn't going to wait to find out. He lifts Conway up before spiking Conway's head into the mat with a kneeling back to belly piledriver! Hunter exits to the ring apron as he waits for Conway to get to his feet. Hunter uses the top rope as a springboard for an attempted Final Gambit, but Conway counters with a superkick!"
Brad Blood: "Conway repositions the ladder before beginning to climb it. Conway reaches the top and begins unhooking the items, only to be stopped by a punch from Andrew! How did he recover so quickly?"
Jim Jackson: "Who knows, but these two are punching it out on top of the ladder once more! Hunter slams Conway's face into the metal before reaching up and grabbing the items! Wait! Conway just lifted Hunter into a fireman's carry ontop of the ladder! TKO! TKO FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER!"Brad Blood: "Both men are down once more! If Alexander can get back to his feet, one must assume that will mark the end of this match!"Jim Jackson: "Alexander uses the ropes to help himself to his feet before stumbling towards the ladder. Andrew Hunter is stirring!"Brad Blood: "What will it take for one of these two men to win?"
Jim Jackson: "I'm sure we'll find out soon enough, Brad. Alexander is trying to climb the ladder, but he's moving incredibly slow! Andrew sees him and stumbles over to the other side of the ladder before also starting up it! Both men reach the top and begin exchanging punches once more!"Brad Blood: "If there is a move that knocks them both off of the ladder, I will be pissed! I just want one of them to win!"
Jim Jackson: "Hunter is landing a lot of unanswered shots! Conway loses his grip, but his legs are stuck inbetween the ladder rungs! Andrew's reaching for the items once more!"Brad Blood: "I think that's just what Conway wanted, Jim! Look! He's used his leg strength to pull himself back to the top of the ladder! Conway is landing some wicked right hands! Roundhouse kick! HUNTER LOSES HIS GRIP AND FALLS FROM THE LADDER! Conway's unhooking the items....and he's done it! Conway wins! Conway wins!"Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the match and the new holder of the Boleto Dorado, Alexander Conway!"Jim Jackson: "Alexander Conway has emerged victorious in a brutal and hard-fought match! Not only did he retain the Ligero Maximo Championship, but he's also won the Boleto Dorado, which he can use to challenge for any championship that he qualifies for."
Brad Blood: "I'm going to call it right now, I think he'll use it for a shot at the Primo Ultimo Championship."Jim Jackson: "That's a strong possibility, Brad. Or he might use it to win the tag team championships with Ethan.
Brad Blood: "Speaking of Ethan, he just hit Bain on the back of the head with a steel chair! Ethan slides into the ring and slams the steel chair into the back of Andrew Hunter! Alexander pulls Andrew to his feet before pushing him into another crushing shot from that steel chair!"
Jim Jackson: "O'Reilly drops the chair before lifting Hunter onto his shoulders. O'Reilly twists and slams Hunter onto the chair with the Excidio! It doesn't look like The Lords of the Ring are done just yet, however."
Brad Blood: "Alexander rolls out of the ring and digs up a table while Ethan positions Hunter onto the top rope. Conway slides the table in and sets it up as Ethan grabs Hunter's arms. Iconoclasm through the table!"
Jim Jackson: "How despicable! They're celebrating as if they actually just accomplished something, when all they did was pick on a man when he was down."
Brad Blood: "They warned him, Jim. Hunter and Bain should have seen this coming. Ethan doesn't look done, Jim! He's raining punches down onto the unconscious Hunter as Alexander shows off his title and the ticket to the crowd!"
Jim Jackson: "This is a sad day in ULOL history. Wait! Bain has just slid into the ring! Enzuigiri to the back of Conway's head! Ethan tries to get involved, but Bain catches him with an enzuigiri as well!"
Brad Blood: "Why are you so excited? Bain is doing the exact same thing that Conway and O'Reilly were just doing."
Jim Jackson: "No, he's defending himself and his tag team partner."
Brad Blood: "I don't see how you can say that, Bain is raining punches onto Conway, who is barely defending himself! Ethan is back up though, and now he's rushing to the aid of Conway! He wrenches Bain off of Conway, only to be hit with a hard elbow and a dropkick!"
Jim Jackson: "Bain bounces off the ropes and goes for the Busaiku Knee Kick, but Ethan dodges before pulling Bain into a full nelson! And there's the full nelson suplex slam!"
Brad Blood: "Thanks for coming Bain, you failed, like you always do."
Jim Jackson: "Ethan tosses Bain over the ropes before exiting the ring....Brad, we had better move."
Brad Blood: "Oh come on! What has our announce table ever done to you?"
Jim Jackson: "Ethan's positioning Bain onto the announce table. He gives him a few punches before sliding into the ring and climbing onto the turnbuckle. Incursio through our table!"
Brad Blood: "Damn it! Why does our table get destroyed due to Bain's stupidity? God, Ethan is such an asshole."
Jim Jackson: "The Lords of the Ring have left a clear message to every other wrestler in the ULOL, and that is to stay out of their way."
Brad Blood: "And that they hate tables, specifically ones that are in use by the commentary team.""Cult of Personality" by Living Colour begins to blare over the arena. The fans start going mad with cheers. 'CM Punk!' chants echo throughout the arena. After a few seconds someone appears through the curtain. The cheers intensifies. Is it CM Punk?
NO!
It's the current number one contender for the Primo Ultimo Championship, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson. Besides wearing his ring attire, he is sporting a brand new shirt. But the shirt is very familiar. The camera focuses on the shirt.
The camera then moves behind UJJ as he stops at the bottom of the ramp and soaks in the cheers he's getting.
UJJ smiles and jumps up onto the apron. He enters the ring. He climbs a turnbuckle and taunts to the fans. Who respond with more cheers. He jumps down and receives a microphone from a ring technician. The music fades down and UJJ begins to speak.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I would have came out with a replica version of the Primo Ultimo title but Shogun wouldn't hand it over, I apologize for that. But there is a reason I came out to Punk's theme music and why I'm wearing this shirt. I'll start off with the shirt. Well first off all, this is now official ULOL merchandise. You can buy it once the PPV ends. Second of all. I wanted to right a wrong that CM Punk made. He's not the best in the world. I am. So I took the liberty of removing all traces of Punk off of this shirt."
Some boos are heard but cheers stand strong.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Now onto the theme. Well, it kinda compliments the shirt. But it also has a meaning. For the last month or so. Punk broke the internet. TWICE. Almost every single wrestling discussion board broke down due to high traffic. All that because he announced his leaving of the WWE and then when he broke it the second time, it was because he won the WWE Title and left the WWE with it.
Since then it's been nothing but Punk this, Punk that. Q this, Q that. Where am I in the midst of these conversations? Eh? I'm not. I'm not even given a thought. This makes me sick. Which is why after tonight, I will be the talking point of the world. I will crash the internet."
The fans cheer again.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "On the subject of my opponent tonight. He thought I was British.. Really? I'm not British.. Do I look like I spend my free time in bar fights with dental problems? I'm CANADIAN you fool. I do wonder what gave Q the impression that I was British. You know what, it doesn't matter. It'll give me more of a reason to defeat him tonight."
UJJ paces slowly.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Tonight I will win back what I should have never of lost in the first place. The Primo Ultimo title. Q better bring his A game. Because he will need it. When the door is locked, there is no way out but up the cage walls. No running away, no double acts. Just us two in that ring. Surrounded by 4 cage walls that can be your best friend... Or you worst enemy."
"Cult of Personality" resumes playing and UJJ drops the mic and taunts to the fans. He makes a title gesture across his waist as he exits the ring. He walks up the ramp and taunts one more time as the scene fades to black.The scene in the halls of the ULOL building is one abuzz with activity. People move about hurriedly, rushing to where they need to be. Trainer Chuck Norris and a roadie do their best to stay out of the way, bemused by everyone apparently in a hurry.
Roadie: "They're just cracking the whip a lot now."
Chuck Norris: "Folks are under more pressure, now that Allister's not running the show. Nothing else really needs to be said."
The other man indeed says nothing more. That's when the sounds of a large crowd catch their attention.
The two hastily step back, pressing against the wall as a throng of reporters and camera crews brush by them. People pause as they eye the scrum, catching glimpses of the one man these members of the media want to talk to.
He is none other than the dazzling doyen of the squared circle. The masked champion hailed far and wide, but known only by the name of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.
The journalists' running interview with Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is well underway, as they walk past the cameras and microphones set up backstage.
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I had fun doing it! Everyone was so nice! I did not mind all the time in the makeup chair!"
Reporter: "You took off your mask for the role?"
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I didn't!"
Reporter 2: "You have been very busy making all these appearances as the ULOL Champion. You just flew in yesterday. How ready are you for this title match against Jack Johnson?"
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I have spent my free time getting ready! I know I do not need to steal another man's shirt to inspire confidence for myself! I spend 15 hours in the air! Drive another 2 hours through traffic! Share another hour with you news people! And I will still be more ready, willing, and able to win than the UJJ!"
Reporter 2: "You aren't giving him much of a chance, are you?"
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Ask him if he thinks he has a chance! I have seen the glimmer in his eye! It is the shimmering beacon of doubt! It is doubt that is very strong! And plays with his soul like evil green gremlins!"
One of the journalists, coincidentally Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's countryman, makes sure all the other reporters get a good look at the banner he just unscrolled.
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I go into this match! Comfortable in my own self! And ready to bring joy to my lovely people! No gremlins of doubt are dancing in my soul! Shaking the little lumps between their legs while telling me I am stoppable!"
Several barks of protest are heard, as some of the reporters are pushed aside by the arrival of another reporter. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing sees the distress on his countryman's face.
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: [You are in a hurry!]
Reporter 3: [I gotta talk to you! This is urgent!]
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I thank you all for the interview time! I will have to end our chat for now!"
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing leaves most of the journalists, his countryman hastily following him as the two walk offscreen.  VS Jim Jackson: "Here we are with the main event of the evening! A former champion trying to regain the gold he lost and the current champion who will do whatever it takes to keep it."
Brad Blood: "Oh man, Q is going against UJJ, what else can be better?"
Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a cage match and is for the ULOL Primo Ultimo title! Introducing first, he is your current and reigning ULOL Primo Ultimo Champion, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"
Nu-metal music begins to play as a highlight reel of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing runs on the ULOLTron. A horde of reporters and photographers gather at the stage entrance, taking pictures and giving a blow by blow of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's every move as he steps out for his match. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing waves to the fans as he slowly makes his way to the ring.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next the challenger, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson!"
Tinie Tempah's "Simply Unstoppable (Yes Rock Remix)" blasts over the arena as "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson enters the stage through a spark shower. He makes his way to the ring. He enters the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, scouting the entire arena.
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "Well here it is the main event. Q versus UJJ, both men wait patiently as the cage is slowly lowered."
Brad Blood: "I honestly can't tell who will win this match, both men are two of ULOL's top main eventers. There's the bell!"
Jim Jackson: "Both men lock arms... "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson throws Q into the cage. A sit out full nelson slam on Q. UJJ locks in a sleeper but Q counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! UJJ walks into a high dropkick from Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"
Brad Blood: "Ooh! He almost lost a couple of teeth in the process! Q really has good air time."
Jim Jackson: "Hard back suplex on UJJ. Q is on a roll! The champ begins to climb up the cage but UJJ gets back to his feet and is able to pull Q down! Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing drives UJJ into the cage side. Q uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~!"
Brad Blood: "Q again goes for the cage... Q climbs the cage...but Unstoppable Jack Johnson is in hot pursuit, and they both end up back on the canvas after a brief struggle."
Jim Jackson: "Q gets his arm locked on UJJ's waist. "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson fights out of a grapple. A sit out full Nelson slam on Q. Brutal spinning powerbomb on Q!"
Brad Blood: "Whoa! That shook the ring. UJJ is bringing out all the stops here. Irish whip by UJJ on Q to the corner... REVERSED!!! It's UJJ who hits the corner back first!"
Jim Jackson: " Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson drives Q into the cage side head first, it's a lucky thing Q is wearing that hard mask. It gives him a semblance of protection."
Brad Blood: "Looks like UJJ just locked in a headlock. He's trying to find a way to keep Q grounded..."
Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing fights out of a grapple. Spin kick by Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Tiger suplex on UJJ."
Brad Blood: "Q charges in towards UJJ... Intercepted with a big clothesline! That flipped Q into the air!"
Jim Jackson: "UJJ picks Q up... Powerslam! Leg drop by UJJ keeps Q grounded. UJJ quickly runs to the cage wall, he leaps on top of the rope and starts climbing!"
Brad Blood: "WAIT Q JUST SHOOK THE ROPES AND UJJ FALLS ON THE TOP ROPE RIGHT ON HIS FAMILY JEWELS!"
Jim Jackson: "Q just leapt to the cage wall and leapt off towards UJJ using it to hit a spinning kick to UJJ's skull! UJJ falls off the top rope and into the canvas! Springboard moonsault by Q..."
Brad Blood: "UJJ gets his knees up at the last moment! Q is down! Both men are laying on the canvas. Whoever gets up first may have a head start up the cage."
Jim Jackson: "Both men start regaining their bearings... They slowly get back up to their feet... They both look at each other... And in a surprise move, both mean leaps to opposite sides of the cage and starts to climb!"
Brad Blood: "This has never happened before. They are now relying on who will scale the cage first!"
Jim Jackson: "Both men look like they are neck and neck... Both men are scaling the cage at the same speed."
Brad Blood: "Oh man, the crowd is on the edge of their seats as both men reaches the top of the cage at the same time!"
Jim Jackson: "Both men look at each other... I think they both realize anyone can still win this match. Both men go over the top of the cage in opposite sides! Both men releases their grip and drops to the ground!"
Brad Blood: "What?! Who won?! Who hit the ground first?"
Jim Jackson: "I don't know! This has never happened before... Both men are looking to the ref for a decision but the ref can't make it! Wait! The referee is requesting for a replay from the shots taken by the cameramen!"
Brad Blood: "The replay is coming up on the ULOL Tron, there is a split screen showing both wrestlers on their side of the cage... Both let go... I-I think they hit the ground at the same time!"
Jim Jackson: "Wait the referee is requesting for the shot to be slowed down to 1/100th of a second! He wants to see this in super slow motion!"
Brad Blood: "I think he's requesting for a zoom too! We now see a close-up of both men hitting the ground in super slow motion... Is it... Oh my god! Someone really hit the ground first! It was so close that it only came out after the footage was slowed to 1/100th of a second! The ref is making his decision!"
Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match and STILL the ULOL Primo Ultimo, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"
Jim Jackson: "WHOA! Talk about a really close match! Q's feet hit the ground 1/100th of a second before UJJ! Man! Only in ULOL can something like this happen!"
Brad Blood: "You got that right. Q is celebrating his win... Wait! Bob Bobbie runs over and whispers something into Q's ear... Q is shouting out in anger!"
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
Jim Jackson: "Looks like Bob Bobbie just delivered some bad news to Q... His celebration has now become a cry of anguish."
Brad Blood: "Uh-oh I think I know what that bad news is... It involves a truckload of food and a very fat wrestler..."Jim Jackson: "Wow, what a night! What a night..."
Brad Blood: "I know, I can't believe it, The DWMA are all title holders... What is this world coming to?"
Jim Jackson: "That's right and... Wait, I think we are receiving news on Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's state in the locker room... Let us watch it on the ULOL Tron."
The ULOL comes on and we see a scene in the locker room of Q.
The famous ULOL trainer, Chuck Norris, watches the reporters quickly wrapping up after the departure of the big reason why they are here.
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
And the reason why these many reporters are here quickly rushes back, looking very upset. He is the highlight hero of the wresting world. The man known only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.
The journalists immediately point their microphones at him.
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "A DISASTER! EVEN WORSE THAN THE UJJ STEALING FROM CM PUNK! MORE HEINOUS THAN SHOGUN TRYING TO FORGET HE WAS THE BULLY CHAMPION SO FRIGHTENED OF LITTLE ME! THAT CELLULITE-LOADED COLON! WHAT HAS HE DONE!"
He grabs at his head, as if warding off a crushing headache.
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
The masked man angrily leaves, the reporters following him.
The ULOL Tron blinks out.
Jim Jackson: "Seems like Q will be hunting for some blood."
Brad Blood: "TMOM's blood! TMOM is a monster! He ate all the food Q bought for his famished countrymen. He should be arrested! No! HANGED EVEN! What TMOM did sealed the fates of many of Q's countrymen. They will die of starvation!"
Jim Jackson: "Well whatever happens next, we'll find out next week in Lucha Loco, until next time, this is Jim Jackson saying goodnight." | |
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