United League of Lunatics & Lucha Libre Puroresu
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| | | Cojones Grande 05/29/2011 |  |
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The Morbidly Obese Man
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 |  Subject: Cojones Grande 05/29/2011  Sun May 29, 2011 11:28 am | |
|  VS Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Andrew Hunter!"
"New Divide" by Linkin Park blasts through the arena, causing the crowd to cheer. Andrew Hunter appears on the top of the ramp, straightening out his elbow pads. He cracks a grin as he begins walking down the ramp. He stops midway down the ramp and directs his eyes to the right, then the left. He then runs toward the ring, sliding underneath the ropes and quickly bounces back up and shoots his arms straight up, awarding him a slight pop from the audience. He procedes to ask for a mic and prepares to speak. Andrew Hunter: "Well, looks like I AM good enough for a Pay-Per-View match!" Andrew lowers the mic momentarily to let out a slight chuckle. Andrew Hunter: "But please, allow me to explain something. Just to get it off my chest, you know?"When I came back to ULOL one of the first things I said was that I had greatly improved from when you last saw me. And, might I say, I have! It's true, however, that I haven't won a single match since my return. But really, let's look at HOW I lost those matches, shall we? Andrew lowers his mic for a moment, but quickly raises it back to his lips. Andrew Hunter: "Oh wait; I forgot. I requested to have some footage shown, but apparently that's pretty high budget to be spending on... well, me." A very distinct "Haw-haw!" is heard from somewhere in the audience... Andrew Hunter: "But luckily, I still have my words. Let's see...Triple threat match, Lucha Loco, May first: Tonelada forced Stank Lord to submit after his own crossdressing-boy-toy hit him in the head with a chair.Ten-man battle royale, Lucha Loco, May 15: Age of Pain members Felix Schwarz and Arnold Bold teamed up to get me over the top-rope." Andrew shrugs his shoulders slightly before continuing. Andrew Hunter: "But tonight is different. I get to have a match that is decided by luck, or how many friends you have in the ring. I am competing in a one-on-one match. Singles competion. First man to score pinfall or submission. But why, you might ask, is it so different? Well..." Andrew pauses for a moment as the camera pans in closer to his face. Andrew Hunter: "I have to be beaten. Not eliminated, beaten. Since my return, I have not been 'beaten'. I lost my matches, and I can admit that, but never beaten. Tonight is when I show everyone what I'm worth. Tonight is the start of my rise, I guarantee it." Andrew lowers the mic slowly, then nods his head waiting for his opponent to arrive.
Jasmine Lee: "And now, introducing his opponent for the evening, Chriso!"Solemn music fills the area as the crowd all silence. Darkness falls over the arena except a white dimmed light shines on the equipment near the ramp.
A white smoke swirls around the area where all the smashed equipment still lies from Chriso's fall the previous week.
Suddenly the the solemn music stops.
A priest steps out next to the wreck with a bible in hand and making the cross symbol before opening the bible
Priest: "Dear Lord.
Grant unto this man eternal rest. Please forgive him for all his sins.
He was a good man as you intended all mankind to be. Allow him a place in your kingdom.
With his departure we are all saddened but we are all with peace of mind knowing he is up there with you now.
For peace, for love.............."
Suddenly a massive crash of lightning sounds.
The arena lights start going crazy as suddenly the priest bursts into flames. The priest vanishes suddenly with only the bible remaining.
The lights turn off suddenly. When they return, a figure is standing with the bible in his hand.
Chriso: "Aaaaamen!!!"
The crowd roar in approval as Chriso throws the bible in the air to be destroyed by a flash of lightning in the rafters.
The pages fall around Chriso as he raises the mic
Chriso: "Forget heaven.............
I still have unfinished business on earth!!!"
The crowd cheer once more
Chriso: "I have returned to this spot as a reminder........
of the fear the Zombie shows for me.........
I have yet to put my hands on Zombie........
But the act he showed last week........
By pushing me down onto this equipment......"
The crowd boo, with some cheers
Chriso: "What you have done Zombie.........
is not intimidated me to leave you be.........
You have just brought forward the date.......
for YOUR judgement day!!!"
The crowd cheer and start chanting
Chriso: "So Zombie.......
You better be on full alert from now on.......
Because NOW........
Your time has come!!!"
Brad Blood: "How is Chriso even standing after last week? No way he is in any condition for fighting Zombie.... Not to mention a pissed off Zombie!"
Jim Jackson: "Vengeance is a powerful weapon. And Chriso has a lot of ammo."
Brad Blood: "Well he's so focused on Zombie, he doesn't seem to recognize the fight he is about to be in against Andrew Hunter. It's like he doesn't acknowledge Hunter even..."
Jim Jackson: "Chriso has been really getting into Zombie's head lately, but a loss tonight would kill his momentum while setting up Hunter as a major contender."
Brad Blood: "Hunter vs. Creepy face....I choose Hunter."
Jim Jackson: "You are supposed to be-"Brad Blood: "Shut up Jim, Jasmine is speaking."
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this contest is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"Jim Jackson: "Andrew starts this match off with a dropkick to the face of Chriso, sending him back into the ropes. As Chriso comes back Hunter takes him down with an arm-drag. Chriso hops back up to his feet only to be taken down with a second arm-drag!"Brad Blood: "Hunter goes for the irish whip, but Chriso counters and sends Hunter into the corner. Chriso goes for the follow-up clothesline, but Hunter is quick to get out of the corner."Jim Jackson: "Chriso turns right into another dropkick! As Chriso bounces out of the corner, Hunter pulls him into an inside cradle."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."Jim Jackson: "Chriso manages the kick out at two! Hunter is looking for the DDT, but Chriso twists out of it and pulls Hunter's arm into a hammerlock! Hunter hits Chriso with an elbow, but that only causes Chriso to pull him into a full nelson!"Brad Blood: "The nelson is in tight! The referee is asking Hunter if he wants to tap, but Hunter is refusing. Chriso lifts Hunter for the full nelson slam, but Hunter slips out while dragging Chriso to the ground with the victory roll!"Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."Jim Jackson: "Hunter scores another near fall as this match continues! Chriso grabs Hunter by the throat before Hunter can react and slams him with a chokeslam. Chriso goes for the cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."Brad Blood: "Hunter manages to stay alive in this match with the kickout! Bodyslam from Chriso! As Chriso stoops down to grab Hunter, Andrew kicks him in the head."
Jim Jackson: "Hunter still has some fight left in him. Hunter starts throwing punches at Chriso, but Chriso throws them right back! We've got a brawl going, who will give out first?"Brad Blood: "Hunter does! Not a surprise looking at the size difference. Hunter crumples under the onslaught of fists, giving Chriso an opportunity to toss him with a gutwrench!"Jim Jackson: "Chriso bounces off the ropes and drops a leg across the throat of Hunter. He's not done yet, however, as he soon picks Hunter up into a powerbomb position."Brad Blood: "But Hunter forces himself over the shoulders of Chriso and runs to the ropes. Hunter leaps onto the ropes before springing back and catching Chriso with the Trump Card! Hunter goes for the cover!"Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."Jim Jackson: "Chriso manages to pop the shoulder up before the ref reaches three. Hunter decides to climb the turnbuckle, what could he be going for? Hunter goes for a moonsault, but Chriso rolls out of the way! Chriso grabs Hunter by the throat, lifts him up, and slams him down onto the knee! There's the Spinal Tap!"Brad Blood: "Oh! But Hunter falls out of the ring due to his thrashing around in pain! Chriso tries to follow him out, but the referee stops him. As the ref's back turns, Chriso hits him and sends him out onto Andrew!"Jim Jackson: "There's no excuse for that. I don't care how bad a call you think a ref makes, or how frustrated you may be, there is no need to attack an official."Brad Blood: "Jeez, Jim. It's always the same crap with....Is that Zombie?"Jim Jackson: "It is! He has a steel chair in hand too! He quickly slides into the ring behind Chriso and cracks him on the back of the skull!"
Brad Blood: "Hahaha! Zombie's getting payback for all of Chriso's mind games tonight!"Jim Jackson: "Zombie scrambles out of the ring. Hunter is beginning to stir, but he has the ref on top of him. As he struggles with the ref, Chriso starts to recover from the chair shot."
Brad Blood: "As Hunter finally gets the referee off of him, he notices Chriso's back is turned and climbs onto the apron. He waits for Chriso to turn around before leaping and catching Chriso with a twisting springboard tornado DDT! There's the Final Gambit!"Jim Jackson: "Hunter quickly rolls out of the ring. He forces the referee into the ring before working to revive him. As the ref comes to, Andrew dives onto Chriso!"Don Q. Hotte: "One!......Two!......Three!"Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner via pinfall, Andrew Hunter!"Brad Blood: "Hunter did it! He beat the freak of nature! Even the referee's slow counting couldn't help Chriso!"Jim Jackson: "If it wasn't for Zombie, we might have seen this match go a much different route."Brad Blood: "Chriso did it to himself, he knocked the referee out, not Zombie."  Jim Jackson: "Good evening folks and welcome to Cojones Grande, ULOL's pay-per-view! We have a great line-up for you tonight which I am sure will keep you all on the edge of your seats... For those who watched live, they already got a glimpse of the action in our dark match where Andrew Hunter got a win over Chriso!"
Brad Blood: "That's right folks, we have a..."
The ULOL Tron suddenly fuzzes and another transmission is coming into focus. As it becomes clearer we can see Zombie smiling broadly.
Zombie: "Hello? Hello? Jim Jackson? Brad? Hello!"
Brad Blood: "What the? Zombie? Why are you interrupting our broadcast? Isn't it enough you interrupted Chriso's match earlier tonight?"
Zombie: "I won’t tell you. I’ll show you!"
Zombie chuckles in delight and steps away from the camera. He summons for the cameraman to move closer. As the camera moves towards Zombie we can see a man who is tied to a chair. The man is struggling and is trying to call for help through a large piece of tape which muffles his cries. Zombie plants a hand on the frightened man’s shoulder.
Zombie: "Do you remember the villagers from Q’s homelands that were chasing me with torches and pitchforks? This fella is the last of that mob!"
Zombie continues to smile and walks around to the other side of the chair.
Zombie: "Instead of going the way of his friends I thought this little bastard could be of more use!"
Zombie rips the tape off the man’s mouth. The man shouts at the top of his voice crying out for help. Zombie comes down to the villager’s level and holds the man’s jaw roughly.
Zombie: "Shut up! I’m doing this for a reason! I’m not going to eat you!"
Villager: "What do you plan on doing then?!?!"
Zombie: "I’ve thought about it for a while! But I want... to sing some nursery rhymes!!"
The villager looks at Zombie confused. Zombie then grabs the man’s foot and pulls the man’s sock and shoe off of his foot.
Zombie: "How about we start with “This Little Piggy”? But we’ll start with your little toe instead ok? Just join in when you feel the need to!"
Villager: "O-o-ok."
Zombie: "This little piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed at home. This little piggy had roast beef. This little piggy had none. And THIS little piggy went …"
Zombie violently yanks the man’s big toe as he reaches it and the villager screams loudly. Blood spurts out of where the man’s big toe used to be. Zombie scans the brutally amputated big toe and smells it. He puts it to one side and finishes the rhyme.
Zombie: "… All ... the way … home!!! You were right on cue! How about another nursery rhyme?"
The man quickly shakes his head sobbing into his arm at the pain. Suddenly the picture cuts out and only audio can be heard.
Zombie: "How about Humpty Dumpty Sat on a Wall?!?!?"
Villager: "Noooo! Please no more!! N..."
The audio then cuts out and switches back to the arena.
Jim Jackson: "Well er… I’m sorry if some of those pictures upset viewers at home! But I have no idea what that was for! Obviously it was one of Q’s people who he was torturing. And it was most probably because of what Q did to the Primo Ultimo championship belt two weeks ago! But nursery rhymes?"
Brad Blood: "It sure was odd! I'll never see nursery rhymes the same way ever again! Now I'll never get to sleep tonight!!" We see John "Grey Skull" Johnson walking out to the ring with no music. He stops at some young fans the give some handshakes before he enters the ring.John "Grey Skull" Johnson: "Tonight will be the last time I will fight The Masked Man. I'm sick of him interfering in my matches. After this Sunday it will all be over. I will do everything in my power to win this match. It's going to be a race to 5 pinfalls and I know I can win this. All I need is your help. I want you all to support me no mater what will happen during the match. I want to stop The Masked Man at all cost even if it costs me my career.""My Apocalypse" by Arch Enemy starts playing around the arena as The Masked Man appears on top of the ramp with a mic
The Masked Man: "This is it Johnson! This is where I will end your career and show why I'm a future champion right here in ULOL! You can do whatever you can to win this match but really you have no chance because I'm The Masked Man and I'm going to destroy you!"John "Grey Skull" Johnson: "What you will end my career? You must be dreaming. After what you have done to me after making me lose my matches. Hell no! I will not and cannot lose. You've messed with the wrong guy and you are going to pay for it."Both wrestler stare each other down as the crowd cheers. The scene opens up with two leather one-seater chairs. On the chair on the left was seated Lex Lexington, but on the chair on the right was an unseen face. There was spikey-haired dude with aviator shades and a flannel. Looked like... a redneck? He looked pretty serious.
Lex Lexington: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest, ULOL's newest acquisition, Bo Hetfield!... *sniff*"
Lex smells something immediately, raises his eyebrows, and looks at Bo.
Lex Lexington: "...Bo? Is that... Is that you?"
Bo Hetfield: "...What the FUCK, are you talking about Tex. I'm right here."
The smell of pure alcohol smacked Lex right in the face. Lex makes a weird ass disgusted face and even coughs.
Lex Lexington: "Bo, you smell a lot like--!"
Bo pulls out a flask and pops it open.
Bo Hetfield: "Yo, mind if I drink this?"
He takes a massive swig and caps it back.
Bo Hetfield: "Nice to meet ya, Rex. Let me start off by sayin' I am thankful for gettin' the opportunity here at we-lol. I loves me some wrasslin' and I guran-damn-fuckin'-tee ya my debut's gonna be one hell of damn bar--"
Bo ends up puking on Lex. Lex is heard giving an unheard scream as the camera soon cuts to static. It looks like it’s the end of the road for Felix Schwarz. He is going to meet an authority figure which will help him to either clear his name or put him behind bars. He is of course very nervous standing in the other side of the street across a police station. Nervous thoughts are running through his mind. Some of them say to not to do it and just simply run away, start his life from the scratch. He gathers up all his courage and enters the building.
Receptionist: "Can I help you sir?"Felix nods. Felix Schwarz: "I have a meeting with Superintendent of Police."Receptionist takes a look at the schedule. Receptionist: "What is your name?"Felix Schwarz: "Felix Schwarz."Receptionist: "Ah I found it yeah. Now you need to go to elevator and push 3rd floor when doors will open officer will lead you to Chief Cole's office."Felix Schwarz: "Thank you."Felix enters the elevator and he even didn’t realize how fast he reached the 3rd floor. He left elevator and followed an officer.
Officer: "Chief Cole is expecting you."Officer opens the door and we see a woman sitting behind a desk Felix enters. Chief Cole: "It’s been a long time my friend. I’ve never expected to see you again since you left me the day before wedding. However, now I do not blame you for that. Well, I think that’s the best thing that ever happened to me. You motivated me to achieve something, be seen in this world, and so I did. Look at me the most powerful women in the city. All the cops take orders from me. But anyway that’s enough about me. I see you want something to ask from me and I have a pretty good idea what it is."Felix Schwarz: "I am surprised, I didn’t think that it’s going to be you here. No offense. I heard that you are doing good but not this good. Well yeah I came to talk to you about my current situation. I guess you know what I mean."Chief Cole: "I’ve heard something about it. You see I’ve just been appointed as Superintendent last week, so I’m just starting there."Felix Schwarz: "Well, it’s a long story, and I will make it short. I killed a dirty cop and took his place with everything he had. However, recently it was found out what I’ve done, and I'm a persona non grata right now."Chief Cole: "I see, and you want me to clear your name? Am I right?" She thinks for a while what decision should she make, because it’s person’s life on the line despite what he did to her years ago. Chief Cole: "You see usally it’s hard for me to decide anything this heavy right away, such a decision needs more contemplation... But for old time's sake, I will clear your name, but you will owe me a favor when I will need it."Felix Schwarz: "For now I just want to continue my wrestling career, so I won’t do anything illegal. However, I owe you favor and a big one. Now I have to leave, I have a match in an hour."Felix leaves the building after some time and sits in his car. He watches into the windows of the building and sees that Chief Cole is waving to him, he waves back and drives away. | |
|  | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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Posts : 2990
Join date : 2008-12-29
Age : 48
Wrestler Sheet
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| | Subject: Re: Cojones Grande 05/29/2011 Sun May 29, 2011 11:29 am | |
|  VS Jim Jackson: "The next match seems like an interesting one, it's a race to five pinfalls match between John "Grey Skull" Johnson and The Masked Man. For weeks now The Masked Man has been giving grief to Grey Skull and this match will settle things once and for all."
Brad Blood: "I say Grey Skull may be in over his head on this one, he's fighting a bigger and more experienced wrestler. The Masked Man has already shown how brutal he can get, Grey Skull is just asking for an early retirement if you ask me."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Race to Five Pinfalls Match. Introducing first, John "Grey Skull" Johnson!"
"One" from Metallica blast trough the speakers. Sparks are showering as John "Grey Skull" Johnson makes his way to the ring, wearing shorts. When he hits the ring lightning strikes the ring posts.
Jim Jackson: "Flashy entrance by John Johnson. Clearly he is favored by the fans tonight."
Brad Blood: "Favorite doesn't translate to a win. Well he could be the favorite loser! WAHAHAHA!"
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing his opponent for the evening, The Masked Man!"
"My Apocalypse" by Arch Enemy starts playing around the arena as The Masked Man makes his way down to the ring.
Jim Jackson: "Ignoring the boos from the crowd The Masked Man goes into the ring. Grey Skull will have an uphill battle tonight."
Brad Blood: "Uphill? The Masked Man is no hill, he's a mountain. The Masked Man will grind Grey Skull into grey dust."
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "There's the bell! John Johnson leaps into the ropes with a springboard crossbody right off the bat... Caught by The Masked Man! Bodyslam! Grey Skull gets up... He walks into a spike slam! The Masked Man for the pinfall..."
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Grey Skull gets a shoulder up! John Johnson hits a right hand out of nowhere! The Masked Man shrugs it off! It looks like Grey Skull will need to throw a stronger punch to have an effect on The Masked Man."
Jim Jackson: "Grey Skull bounces off the ropes... Big right! The Masked Man is still standing! Again Grey Skull goes to the ropes... He bounces towards The Masked Man who throws a big right... Grey Skull ducks under it and bounces on the opposite ropes... Springboard double axe handle connects! That rocked The Masked Man! Double arm suplex by John Johnson, The Masked Man hits hard. Masked tastes a high angle back suplex. Cover!"
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "The Masked Man kicks out! Grey Skull goes high risk and leaps to the top of the turnbuckles... He leaps up into the air... THE MASKED MAN CATCHES HIM IN MID-AIR LIFTING HIM TO HIS SHOULDERS AND SLAMS HIM TO THE GROUND WITH A HUNTMASTER POWERBOMB! The Masked Man for the pin..."
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"
Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man gets a win! Irish whip by The Masked Man, he hits a stiff clothesline sending John Johnson flipping into the air! The Masked Man lifts John "Grey Skull" Johnson up to his shoulders... Here comes a second Huntmaster Powerbomb..."
Brad Blood: "No! Grey Skull starts throwing elbow down unto The Masked Man's head! The Masked Man loses his grasp and Grey Skull jumps down! Dropkick to the kneecap sends The Masked Man down to one knee!"
Jim Jackson: "Shining wizard by John Johnson connects! John Johnson with a reverse suplex! He goes for the cover!"
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "The Masked Man kicks out! Grey Skull tries to apply an armbar on The Masked Man... The Masked Man counters and picks Grey Skull up... HE SLAMS GREY SKULL INTO THE CANVAS!"
Jim Jackson: "John Johnson's grip loosens and The Masked Man wrenches his arm free. The Masked Man grabs Grey Skull and sets him up for a face buster... Oh! He plants Grey Skull unto the mat! He hooks the legs..."
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Thr..."
Brad Blood: "Grey Skull kicks out! The Masked Man can't believe it! Big Irish whip sends Grey Skull crashing to the corner! The Masked Man catches Grey Skull as he bounces back and rolls him up... Wait! Grey Skull counters and rolls up now it's The Masked Man who's shoulders are down..."
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"
Jim Jackson: "Now it's even! John Johnson gets up to a surprised Masked... The Masked Man hits a big boot out of nowhere planting John Johnson to the canvas. The Masked Man begins removing the protective cover of the turnbuckles exposing the steel... The ref goes in to stop him... What the? Is he bribing the referee?"
Brad Blood: "I think he just handed the ref a Benjamin! The ref pretends to leave him alone amidst the boos from the crowd. The Masked Man drags Grey Skull to the corner... HE SLAMS GREY SKULL'S SKULL INTO THE EXPOSED STEEL!!! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! I SEE BLOOOOOOOOOD!!! Grey Skull is down, The Masked Man hooks the leg..."
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"
Jim Jackson: "Of all the blatant... That ref should not be even calling the match! John Johnson tries to get up using the ropes to get back to his feet. The Masked Man charges in with a clothesline... John Johnson pulls the ropes down and The Masked Man goes over!"
Brad Blood: "The Masked Man crashes outside! Grey Skull sizes up The Masked Man... He leaps over the top rope... THE MASKED MAN PULLS AWAY AND GREY SKULL HITS THE STEEL BARRICADES!!! Oh! That has got to hurt... Irish whip by The Masked Man sends Grey Skull crashing to the steel steps!"
Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man throws John Johnson back into the ring. He goes for the cover..."
Sully S. Calawag: "OneTwoThree!"
Jim Jackson: "Oh c'mon! Now that count was way too fast... That referee is clearly not calling this match down the middle..."
Brad Blood: "Well he got bribed, I guess once he gets bribed he stays bribed... A man of principle... Grey Skull gets back up and drives a thrust kick into the chest of Masked. The Masked Man blocks a right hand and fires back. Big clothesline from Masked. Hooks the leg..."
Sully S. Calawag: "OneTwoThr..."
Jim Jackson: "John Johnson kicks out despite the really fast count by the ref... John Johnson starts to complain to the ref... The Masked Man charges in with a clothesline... John Johnson ducks! THE MASKED MAN HITS THE REFEREE SENDING HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE! Back elbow by John Johnson followed by an enziguri! Springboard reverse DDT by John Johnson! The Masked Man is down! John Johnson hooks the leg... There is no ref!"
Brad Blood: "A new ref is running down the aisle right now!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."
Jim Jackson: "Oh! So close! John Johnson goes on the offensive and locks in a camel clutch! The Masked Man tries to break free... He makes it to the ropes! John Johnson grabs one leg of The Masked Man, this time he applies a half-Boston crab! The Masked Man again is in pain but he manages to flip over and escape!"
Brad Blood: "Masked stuns Grey Skull with a big uppercut. Irish whip by Masked on Grey Skull towards the exposed turnbuckles... REVERSAL! The Masked Man slams unto the exposed steel back first instead! Grey Skull with a drop kick on Masked again sends his back crashing to the exposed turnbuckles! The Masked Man falls forward, Grey Skull gets a northern lights suplex pin!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Jim Jackson: "John Johnson gets a pinfall! It's now 3-2 in the favor of The Masked Man. The Masked Man starts to fight back to his feet. He throws some heavy punches which stuns John Johnson... Side choke slam by The Masked Man plants John Johnson! The Masked Man hooks the leg..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Grey Skull kicks out at two! The Masked Man pounds the mat in anger. He picks Grey Skull up... Powerslam! Masked leaps off the second rope... Flying elbow connects! He starts stomping into Grey Skull... Side suplex by Masked sends Grey Skull landing in a heap. German suplex by Masked and Grey Skull is not moving at all! Masked hooks the leg...."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."
Jim Jackson: "John Johnson kicks out at the last possible moment! The Masked Man cannot believe it! The Masked Man picks John Johnson up.. He's setting him up for another Huntmaster Powerbomb... Wait! John Johnson leaps over The Masked Man's head and lands behind him! John "Grey Skull" Johnson stands behind the opponent. John "Grey Skull" Johnson places the opponent in an inverted facelock and hooks the opponent's near arm with his free arm, John "Grey Skull" Johnson then pulls backwards and up wrenching the opponent's neck executing a devastating Sweet Dreams!"
Brad Blood: "Grey Skull has Masked in his submission finisher! The Masked Man has nowhere to go! He tries to reach for the ropes but can't! THE MASKED MAN TAPS!!! IT'S NOW EVEN AT 3-3!"
Jim Jackson: "Good comeback for John Johnson, he has now evened the odds... Grey Skull charges in with a flying kick... The Masked Man gets nailed righr on the chest! Spinning back kick by John Johnson followed by an enziguri... The Masked Man is down! John Johnson for the pin..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "The Masked Man gets a shoulder up! Grey Skull throws a big right, blocked by The Masked Man! Hip toss by The Masked Man, blocked and countered by Grey Skull but Masked stops Grey Skull's attempt at the reversal and takes Grey Skull down with a standing lariat! The Masked Man rolls Grey Skull up... HE PULLS ON GREY SKULL'S TIGHTS!!!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."
Jim Jackson: "The referee sees the handful of tights! He stops the three count! The Masked Man gets angry at the ref and starts to argue with him... John Johnson takes advantage and rolls The Masked Man up taking him by surprise..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Brad Blood: "Holy caca! Grey Skull now has the lead! The Masked Man is not happy... He rolls back up to his feet... Grey Skull with a springboard spinning side kick... Dodged by Masked! Masked hits Grey Skull with a back breaker then picks Grey Skull up... Piledriver connects! Snap suplex by Masked sends Grey Skull to the canvas. Pin by Masked..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."
Jim Jackson: "John Johnson gets a foot up on the bottom rope! The Masked Man is furious! The Masked Man lifts John "Grey Skull" Johnson up on his shoulders and slams him unto the mat hitting another Huntmaster Powerbomb! He hooks the leg..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Brad Blood: "Again we're dead even! This is still anyone's game! Whoever gets the next pinfall wins the match! Grey Skull receives some punishment. Back elbow connects, Grey Skull staggers backward. Grey Skull blocks a kick from The Masked Man. Grey Skull hits a spinning back kick. Grey Skull with an enziguri. He hooks the leg..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man powers out of that one! John Johnson snap suplexes The Masked Man. The Masked Man gets hip tossed by John Johnson. John Johnson hits a flying kick on The Masked Man. Flying elbow from John Johnso... John Johnson is really putting everything he's got into this..."
Brad Blood: "Masked blocks a punch. Bodyslam by Masked. Masked hits a stump piledriver on Grey Skull. Cover!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "John Johnson gets a shoulder up! The Masked Man throws a big right, dodged by John Johnson! The Masked Man gets taken down out of nowhere by a dropkick. Back heel kick from john Johnson. John Johnson with a reverse suplex. Pin!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Grey Skull still unable to put Masked away! Hip toss attempt by Grey Skull... Reversed by Masked! The Masked Man hits a bulldog off the ropes. The Masked Man with an Irish whip sends Grey Skull to the ropes... spinebuster connects! Masked hooks the leg!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Still a negative for The Masked Man! Irish whip by The Masked Man sends John Johnson to the ropes. He tries a back bodydrop... John Johnson counters a back bodydrop attempt with a kick to the face. Hard impact Russian legsweep by John Johnson Back heel kick sends The Masked Man down! John Johnson for the cover..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Masked gets his shoulder up and Grey Skull is pulling his hair out in frustration... Big discus clothesline takes Grey Skull down! Full nelson slam on Grey Skull, Masked with an Irish whip sends Grey Skull to the corner... He sets Grey Skull up on the top turnbuckle. He's going for a superplex..."
Jim Jackson: "Blocked by John Johnson! John Johnsonthrows in a couple of hard punches before shoving The Masked Man down! John Johnson from the top turnbuckle... FROGSPLASH CONNECTS! John "Grey Skull" Johnson lifts the opponent onto his shoulders and spins him around and around until they get dizzy and crash to the ground. John "Grey Skull" Johnson climbs the turnbuckle and performs a Shooting Star Press executing a devastating Deep Marshed Mushroom! John Johnson hits his finisher he hooks the leg!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, winner of the match, John "Grey Skull" Johnson!"
Brad Blood: "Talk about a comeback! I can't believe Grey Skull eked out a win! This match was as close as it gets!"
Jim Jackson: "A great showing by both competitors, even though The Masked Man used some dodgy tactics earlier on, his performance in the latter half should be commended. Still an impressive victory by John Johnson tonight. Hopefully he can put this behind him and move on." A shrill laughter can be heard inside the office of Allister King, though this voice belonged neither to the general manager nor his wife Samantha Collins, instead it belonged to ULOL's transsexual superstar Boy Bakla.
Boy Bakla: "Hihihihihihihihi! We showed them! Did you see the look on their faces when my beautiful pink bat "Petunia" hit them? Classic! Yet I'm sure you are not satisfied leaving it at that right Allie? I'm sure we can cause those little boys some more grief, specially in a night like this, in Cojones Grande! I mean I had my cojones removed already but I'm sure I can still show those two that I have the balls to finish what they started."
Boy Bakla swings "Petunia" in a wide arc into the air as a sharp whizzing sound is heard.
Boy Bakla: "I'm sure "Petunia" here would agree that the beating they got last week weren't enough, by the time we're done with them tonight, they'll be crying home to their mommas... What do you say Allie? Let's give them a little visit tonight?"
A sly grin appears on the face of Bakla as it waits for Allister King to reply.Allister lights a cigarette and leans forward
Allister King: "Interfering in matches is completely against my rules as a general manager. I mean I waited till the match was over last week before I attacked those bastards but I am considering breaking that rule."
Allister turns and looks at Sami before turning back to Bakla
Allister King: "I think that maybe we should step up the game and attack them when they least suspect it but unfortunately since this place is completely covered with microphones and cameras any decent plan might be compromised within this building and sometimes outside the arena like that time they followed me around for a month in December".
Allister stands up
Allister King: "What we need to do is end them in one of the most horrific ways even imaginable and I have the power to organize any match possible."
Allister smiles as he waits for a replyBakla's grin gets wider...
Boy Bakla: "Yes that you do Allie... But let's save that for last, as of now it may be better costing them the tag titles right? The last thing we want is them flaunting the tag gold around. Shadow and Shogun's head are getting a little too big for their shoulders... It's time we deflate their egos..."
Bakla then turns and sees the camera man...
Boy Bakla: "And you! Don't you know it's rude to eavesdrop? I must punish you later you naughty naughty cameraman..."
Boy Bakla inches towards the cameraman who backs away and breaks into a run as the scene gets cut to static.The scene opens with Lex Lexington standing beside Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi, collectively known as Oriental Spice. Lexington adjust his tie and nods to the camera as the interview begins.
Lex Lexington: "Good evening folks, standing beside me tonight are Oriental Spices who tonight shall be battling for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero against three other teams tonight. Analysts have already pegged Oriental Spices as the underdogs tonight. Any comments on this?"
Little Wang who is standing on top of a step ladder takes the mic from Lex and replies to his query.
Little Wang: "We have been looked down upon by many people in the business, yet last week, we proved that with hard work we can achieve something incredible. Analysts and wrestling enthusiasts never expected us to win last week and secure a spot here tonight, yet here we are. We've proved them wrong before and we'll prove them wrong again."
Lex Lexington takes the mic again and follows-up on his questions.
Lex Lexington: "Many people say that your win last week was a fluke, that you just got lucky."
Little Wang takes back the mic and replies.
Little Wang: "Fluke? Hardly, we got our spot with hard work and great team work and of course the support of our fans. We worked our butts off and even though we have lost many battles in the past, last week was the culmination of all the blood and sweat we've put in. Maybe we won't be victorious tonight but we'll sure give all the other teams tonight a run for their money."
Little Wang throws the mic back to Lex Lexington.Lex Lexington continues the interview this time with a question for Nao Fook Mi.
Lex Lexington: "Ms. Nao, you are booked in 2 matches for this pay-per-view, one for the tag titles and one as a number one contender for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino. Will you have the stamina to fight two matches tonight? Aren't you worried at all that your performance will suffer?"
Nao Fook Mi takes the mic this time to address the issue brought forth.
Nao Fook Mi: "Whether I fight in one match or two matches, I shall give my all. Am I at a disadvantage? Maybe... Will it mean that I will just give up? That as big NO! I have begun my ascent again after a spending a long time at the bottom of the wheel and as the wheel rolls, it is time for me to roll back to the top. Of course I will try to conserve my energy tonight, I cannot predict what will happen but be assured that our fans won't be disappointed with our performance."
Lex Lexington takes back the mic and asks another question.
Lex Lexington: "Well, we are almost out of time, any message for your opponents tonight?"
Fook Mi nods and takes the mic back.
Nao Fook Mi: "Yes Lex, our opponents may look down on us and that will be their mistake, we will capitalize on their underestimating of Oriental Spices and we will show them what a sleeping dragon does when it wakes."
Fook Mi returns the mic and leaves the interview area with Little Wang.
Lex Lexington: "There you have it folks, the ever popular Oriental Spices, will they be able to rise up to the occasion tonight? Well stay tuned and see for yourselves."
The interview ends and the screen fades to black. The camera opens up to show The Anarchists planning for their match
Shadow Callahan: "Listen Shogun, We have 3 teams to beat tonight in the match for the tag titles but we got to keep an eye out for those pieces of shit, Bakla and King. We know that they will try to interfere anyway possible, I say we go and take them out when they don't see it coming. Then we destroy what little we have left to win the titles. What ya say?"
Callahan waits for a reply from his partner.Shogun was sitting deep in thought when Shadow mentions this. He then looks up to answer his partner.
Shogun: "I agree. We shall not let the fools ruin our chance at glory. Take care of them first. Then we shall decimate the pitiful competition we have in on our way to tag team glory!"
Shogun stands up now.
Shogun: "Not one of the team that will be facing us have any idea who they are dealing with so we should make sure they understand by the end of this battle. When we win tonight we will be one step closer to total dominance!"Shadow grins at his partner.
Shadow Callahan: "I will make sure that King of Fool's never sees it coming."
Shadow laughs as he grabs his kendo stick and leaves. The camera fades to black. The Camera opens to show the parking lot and a mini van pulls up. A Woman and Man exit. The Man is wearing a pink helmet and spongebob t-shirt.
Woman: "Now Rupert, You be on your best behavior you hear?"
Rupert B. Humperdink: "Yes Mommy!"
The man who has been named as Rupert appears to be in his late 30's/early40's while his mother appears to be in her late 20's.
Mother: Here Rupert, Don't forget your lunchbox. I packed a PB & J sandwich, chocolate milk and your favorite biscuits.
Rupert B. Humperdink: "Scooby Doo!!! Woooo!!"
Mother: "You excited about tonight?"
Rupert B. Humperdink: "Yep! I'm going to see Disney on Ice!!"
Mother: "That's right. And will you be okay by yourself?"
Rupert B.Humperdink: "Yes Mommy!"
Mother: "Okay call me when you need to be picked up. We don't want you getting lost again."
Rupert B. Humperdink: "Okay mommy."
The mother kisses Rupert on the check and drives away
Rupert B. Humperdink: "Disney! I'm going to see Mickey!!"
Rupert waves his arms about and runs into the building. Unfortunately for him he is at the wrong place.
Cameraman 1: "You think we should call the police?"
Cameraman 2: "Nah it would be funnier this way."
*The camera fades to black
Last edited by The Morbidly Obese Man on Sun May 29, 2011 7:48 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Cojones Grande 05/29/2011 Sun May 29, 2011 11:29 am | |
| Allister is sitting at his desk with Samantha when suddenly a knock is heard
Allister King: "Come in."
A security guard enters the room
Security: "Sir, we have a guy here and we don't know how he got here."
Allister King: "Send him in."
The security guard brings in Rupert B. Humperdink
Allister King: "AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Allister falls off his chair laughing while Sami looks at him with anger."
Samantha Collins: "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Allister King: "Look at him! Hahahahaha."
Sami kicks Allister in the balls
Samantha Collins: "What's your name sweetie?"
Rupert B. Humperdink: "My Name is Rupert B. Humperdink! My Mommy dropped me off to see DISNEY ON ICE!!"
Allister is crying with laughter but gets kicked again.
Samantha Collins: "You're in the wrong place. Do you know your phone number?"
Rupert B. Humperdink: "No, but my mommy does."
Allister pulls himself onto the desk
Allister King: "Sign this please!!"
Allister hands him a contract
Rupert B. Humperdink: "Okie dokie!"
Rupert stands looking at the contract
Rupert B. Humperdink: "I don't know how to spell my name."
Allister falls off the table again laughing
Samantha Collins: "You're going to burn in hell you know that?!"
Allister King: "It's worth it!!"
Allister makes it up again
Allister King: "R-U-P-E-R-T!"
Rupert writes on the contract but still spells his name wrong
Allister King: "He spelled it wrong!! This is glorious!"
Samantha Collins: "Why would you hire someone like him. You're horrible!"
Rupert B. Humperdink: "Can I meet Mickey Mouse?"
Allister King: "HAHA! This is the greatest moment in my life, Security come here."
Allister laughs as he whispers something to the security guard no problem.
Security: "No problem."
The security brings Rupert out of the room
Rupert B. Humperdink: "BYE BYE!"
Sami beats the hell out of Allister as the camera fades to black. VS Jim Jackson: "The following match is the finals of our ULOL Campeón No Masculino Grand Prix Tournament and it pits Nao Fook Mi against Samantha Collins. Things seem to be picking up for Nao Fook Mi, earlier tonight we saw Oriental Spices win the tag titles off from GoodFella & Schwarz. Then after that they took a beating from Getter Team. The question is if she will be able to continue tonight after what happened earlier. Will Fook Mi still have the stamina to defeat Samantha Collins?"
Brad Blood: "I still can't believe the got that win Jim. I mean seriously they were our resident jobbers..."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Slapfest I Quit Match and is the final match in the ULOL Campeón No Masculino Grand Prix Tournament! The only legal moves in this battle are slaps and will only end when one wrestler says I QUIT! Introducing first, Nao Fook Mi!"
Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. She quickly makes her way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. She bows and gives her respect to the crowd before heading to her corner.
Jim Jackson: "The ever popular Nao Fook Mi, will she be finally able to shed the underdog persona?"
Brad Blood: "Well at least this match won't be as strenuous as a regular match since it's a slapping match..."
Jasmine Lee: "And introducing her opponent, Samantha Collins!"
Soundgarden's "Black Rain" begins to blast from the PA system as Samantha Collins makes her way out to the entrance ramp. She stands and lights a cigarette before heading down to the ring. She drops the lit cigarette and stomps it out before entering the ring.
Jim Jackson: "Samantha Collins rose to prominence being the wife of the current GM. Though to be fair, she rarely uses her husband's influence for her advantage, instead she shows the fans that she can stand on her own two feet."
Brad Blood: "Mmm... Damn that Allister King, how could he have scored such a fine woman?!"
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "And there we go! Both girls line up face to face... I think they are going for a direct confrontation! Collins throws the first slap... NO! Blocked by Fook Mi who counters with a slap of her own! Collins dodges and spins around and throws another slap! Wait Fook Mi backs away and Collins misses by a hair's breath!"
Brad Blood: "Whoa! These chicks means business! Fook Mi bounces off the ropes... CORKSCREW SLAP CONNECTS!!! OH!!!! That definitely left a mark on Collins!"
Jim Jackson: "Fook Mi charges in with her palm raised... She gets another solid slap in! Samantha Collins is reeling from the force of those kung-fu slaps! Samantha Collins tries to shake the cobwebs off... Fook Mi with her hands raised..."
Brad Blood: "Collins somehow dodges Fook Mi's palms, she trips Fook Mi over her knees... AND STARTS SLAPPING FOOK MI ON THE BUTT!!! Oh man now that is hot!"
SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!!
Brad Blood: "Collins stops and signals for the ref to bring the mic in..."
Don Q. Hotte: "Do you quit?!"
Nao Fook Mi: "No!"
Jim Jackson: "Collins still has Fook Mi bended over and proceeds to continue her slapping... Wait! Fook Mi twists free and somehow counters with a backhand slap to Samantha Collins' ears!"
Brad Blood: "That slap shook Collins' brain! Fook Mi quickly goes for revenge this time she trips Collins over her knees!"
SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!!
Jim Jackson: "Collins howls in pain! As Fook Mi signals for the ref to ask the question..."
Don Q. Hotte: "Do you quit?!"
Samantha Collins: "No!"
Brad Blood: "Collins hangs in there despite receiving double the number of slaps from Fook Mi! Man these chicks aren't sitting down after tonight! Fook Mi continues her assault!"
SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!!
Jim Jackson: "Samantha Collins is tearing up and openly sobbing... The ref brings the mic in..."
Don Q. Hotte: "Do you quit?!"
Samantha Collins: "No!"
Brad Blood: "Collins swallows keeps her pride and sucks up the pain! Fook Mi is shaking her wrists, those multiple slaps are taking a toll on her... Samantha Collins uses this chance to scamper away!"
Jim Jackson: "Fook Mi tries to grab on to Collins but Collins turns around and slaps a hard one right on the side of Fook Mi's head! Fook Mi gets stunned... Collins takes her down and mounts her!"
SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!!
Brad Blood: "Collins gets her revenge! Fook Mi's face has swelled up and looks like an overripe tomato!"
Don Q. Hotte: "Do you quit?!"
Nao Fook Mi: "No!"
Jim Jackson: "Fook Mi hangs on! Collins poises to start slapping her face again... WAIT! FOOK MI CATCHES BOTH OF SAMANTHA COLLINS' WRISTS!!! SHE FLIPS OVER AND NOW FOOK MI IS ON TOP!!!"
SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!! SLAP!!!
Brad Blood: "Collins is... Unrecognizable at this point! Her face is so puffed up, she looks like a bloated puffer fish!"
Don Q. Hotte: "Do you quit?!"
Samantha Collins: "Y-yes..."
Jim Jackson: "Fook Mi does it! Fook Mi made Collins give up!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and new number one contender for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino, Nao Fook Mi!"
Brad Blood: "It looks like Fook Mi's win drought is officially over! And... What the?! Is that Summer Bold? Summer Bold has entered to the ringside! Who's that with her?"
Summer Bold: "Sorry for the interruption ladies but I am here to introduce to you the brand new superstar of ULOL. Her name is Gina “The Wild” Sheridan. Go there and beat them Gina, show them the way of the WILD!."
Gina nods and starts running down the entrance ramp.
Jim Jackson: "Summer's new ward just ran into the ring and started attacking Fook Mi!"
Brad Blood: "Oh man, Fook Mi isn't getting any breaks isn't she? First after winning the tag titles, Oriental Spices gets jumped by Getter Team, now after winning this match she gets jumped by... Who is this girl again?"
Jim Jackson: "Gina "The Wild" Sheridan. Sheridan just laid Fook Mi out! Gina "The Wild" Sheridan lifts Nao Fook Mi upside-down with a double underhook and slams her to the mat face first!"
Summer Bold: "And that's a taste of Gina's WILD BUSTER!"
Brad Blood: "Man... Fook Mi is out... She's not moving at all... Samantha Collins scampers out of the ring and runs away... Who is this monster woman that Summer Bold brought to ULOL?!"'Warriors Code' by Dropkick Murphys hits the arena speakers and the fans jump to her feet. Raven Connoly runs out onto the stage, the ULOL Campeón no Masculino is around her waist, and the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly is draped over her shoulder. Raven unhooks the ULOL Campeón no Masculino from around her waits and holds both belts over her head and lets out her battle cry. Raven then throws both belts over her shoulder and makes her way for the ring. Raven rolls into the ring and climbs up the turnbuckle and holds both belts high above her head again and screams. Raven does a back flip off the turnbuckle and lands in the center of the ring, she throws the belts back over her shoulders and smiles as she waits for the crowd to quite down.
Raven Connoly: "Well, let me start off by putting some rumors to rest. As I'm sure most of you noticed, yours truly was absent from last weeks ULOL. Now there have been rumors that after I lost the 10 man battle royal that I got my panties in a bunch and refused to show up last week. Now I would hope my fans know that that is not the case, unfortunately I missed last week for circumstances beyond my control, but I am back tonight."
The fans begin to cheer at Ravens statement.
Raven Connoly: "However, my loss at the battle royal did get me thinking about tonight's match. Now the reason I lost that 10 man battle royal was because I was taken out by three members of The Age of Pain. Now, I'm not complaining, that was a 10 man battle royal, and in a match like that there are going to be alliances made at least as long as it benefits everyone involved. The Age of Pain did what anyone else would do in a match like that if they had allies, pick off the enemies, and then duke it out after the other threats are eliminated. They eliminated me fair and square, that's the way it goes.
Raven Connoly:"However, tonight's match is a different story, tonight's match is a Triangle match for the Correa Grande Del Oro de Raven Connoly between myself, Taufik, and Yuki Monotomo. Now as I said my lost in the battle royal got me thinking, my two opponents tonight are both members of their own stables, The DWMA and The Age of Pain. Now tonight's match is a triangle match, that means there are three participants, and one of my titles is on the line. Now, since both of my opponents are members of a stable, that means not only do I have to worry about Taufik and Yuki, but I also have to worry about any one of there stable mates getting involved as well."
"Well, the Correa Grande Del Oro de Raven Connoly is on the line tonight, and I'm not taking any chances. I don't have a stable to back me up, and I want tonight's title match to be fair, I don't want to fall victim to The Age of Pain or The DWMA interfering in this match. I plan on winning this match tonight, and I want a clean win, and if I happen to lose, I want it to be a clean loss. So that is why I am asking our GM or Vice GM to assure that I get a fair match and ban the other members of The Age of Pain and The DWMA from getting involved in this match in any way."
The fans start to cheer and chanting 'Raven'. Raven lowers her mic and waits for her request to be addressed.A few moments of silence passes before the screen of the ULOL Tron comes to life. The image of the vice-general manager Eunice P. Winslow is seen on the big screen to the backdrop of her office.
Eunice P. Winslow: "I have heard your request Ms. Connoly and I do agree that this fight needs to be a fair one. I shall approve your request to ban any members of The Age of Pain and The DWMA other that the participants from the ring during your match. If anyone breaks this rule, they shall be rewarded with a month's suspension WITHOUT PAY! Is this satisfactory Ms. Connoly?"
The VGM of ULOL stares down at the dual-champ standing in the ring.Raven Connoly: "That will be most satisfactory Ms. Winslow."
Raven smiles as she bows slightly to the VGM.
Raven Connoly: "And now that I don't have to worry about any outside interference, I can guarantee that tonight I will walk out of this arena still the Correa Grande Del Oro de Raven Connoly champion. I hope you boys are ready for a hell of a fight."
Raven slides out of the ring and makes her way up the ramp slapping her fans hands. She reaches the stage and turns around, Raven throws her fist in the air and lets out a scream before disappearing backstage.ARE YOU FEELING GAY?
DO YOU FEEL LIKE GOLD?
IF YOU ARE THEN WE HAVE THE ICE CREAM FOR YOU!
Available in stores now!Yuki Monotomo, Ray Kamaura, and Leon Hinomoto are sitting in the DWMA locker room. There is now a table with some cards on it with six chairs around it. Yuki picks up the cards and begins to shuffle them.
Yuki Monotomo: "So how's everybody doing?"
Yuki sighs deeply. He deals from left to right to Leon, Ray, then himself. After he deals out seven cards to each of them, he sets down the rest of the deck and pulls down his mask from his nose down to take a drink from his cup of hot tea next to him. After the ladies' man takes a drink, he begins to speak again, leaving his mask down.
Yuki Monotomo: "I personally am doing fine. I've got a nice title match coming up against a lovely lady and a guy who it me with a cane. It's great, just frickin great. I gotta wrestle a woman, which can't work out well at all and a guy who will probably get his damn cane out again.
The ladies' man leans back over his chair and cracks his back. He smirks as he looks at his hand.
Yuki Monotomo: "Maybe when if I win the title from Raven, I'll ask her out on a date."
Yuki laughs as he shuffles the cards around in his hand.
Yuki Monotomo: "So how you guys feelin'?"Ray Kamaura scans the faces of Yuki and Leon. Yuki has a dumb smile and Leon's face, like Rays, is void of all expression. He shuffles his hand around then places it face down on the table and stares in Leon's eyes.
Ray Kamaura: "I'm great."
Ray spoke with no tone or inflection. Ray had his poker face on and he was silent.Leon puts on a pair of sunglasses that have printed "DWMA" on the side of them. He glances at his hand, then places it facedown.
Leon Hinomoto: "The downpour of our championship is about to begin. Our thunderclap will be tonight, and the DWMA will get the respect we deserve. We're going to get our championship and we will have what should belong to us. Those title belts belong to us. Forecast just came in, we will have a long "rain" of championship."
Leon kicks back with his feet on the table and puts his hat down. Yuki throws some cash in and puts his hand facedown as well.
Yuki Monotomo: "I'm gonna have fun taking that belt from around Raven's waist. I'm about to win some money for my date with Raven. Let's just hope I don't get stood up. I'd rather her not stand me up and take that belt off. I'll also take Taufik out of this threesome. I'll just snap his little stick in half if he takes it out again and then the one trick pony is done and it's back to me on Raven."
Yuki stares down Ray, then Leon, then Ray again. Ray throws his money in after Leon. He shuffles around his hand and sets it back down.
Ray Kamaura: "Championship, DWMA, correct. End of story."
Ray cracks his neck around as he remains void of emotion. Yuki laughs and lays down his hand. It holds 4 aces, a 6, and two 2's.
Yuki Monotomo: "Read 'em and weep! Looks like I am getting some cash for taking Raven out!"
The ladies' man leans back in his chair and almost falls off. The Rainman lays down his hand calmly.
Leon Hinomoto: "Looks like I won, Yuki. A fortunate omen for our match tonight."
Leon picks up the money from the center of the table and kicks back again. Ray throws down his hand in anger and begins to yell.
Ray Kamaura: "I never win at this game! I had a wild UNO card, a scrabble "X", a "Get Out of Jail Free" card, and $200 in Monopoly money!"
Ray points at Yuki.
Ray Kamaura: You probably ninja'ed those 4 aces! And you!"
Ray points to Leon.
Ray Kamaura: "You probably spoke to the spirits of the trees in the cards to get a Royal Flush! I was doomed to lose!"
The scene fades to black as Ray continues to rant. | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Cojones Grande 05/29/2011 Sun May 29, 2011 11:30 am | |
| As the camera cuts to the ring, the lights are dimmed down. Standing in the center under a spotlight is William LaCroix. A satisfied, smug, smile is plastered to his face. William LaCroix: "Once again, LaCroix bested a non-threatening competitor. These lightweight jokes think they can run around this business and compete against guys like me. They think they can pop off all these fancy little acrobatics and be the best. But what these glorified gymnasts don't understand is that they simply can't do that any longer. People like me are too big and good at what we do to be beaten by such foolishness." LaCroix listens to the crowd's boos for a moment before continuing. William LaCroix: "What's that? You don't like it when I say that those "exciting" highflying moves are foolish? You don't like it when I say your favorite wrestlers suck? Too bad! Maybe if the lightweights didn't consistently fail, I wouldn't bash them every week!" LaCroix puts a finger in front of his mouth. William LaCroix: "Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh, quiet down. I have evidence showing Johnson failing last week. Please, if you would, turn your attention to the tron." The tron comes to life, showing a clip from April, 22, 2011. Jim Jackson: "LaCroix kicks Johnson in the gut to start this match off. LaCroix irish whips Johnson to the ropes, he comes back, but is able to duck the attempted clothesline. He keeps the momentum and comes flying back, LaCroix looking for the big boot but Johnson ducks it too! Grey Skull stops himself at the ropes. LaCroix charges in looking for the spear, but Grey Skull sidesteps and sends him tumbling out of the ring!"
Brad Blood: "A bad mistake from LaCroix, who's having trouble getting back up. He may have tweaked his knee, Jim. Grey Skull takes advantage of his opponent's troubles, vaulting over the ropes and down onto LaCroix!"
Jim Jackson: "Johnson looking to pick LaCroix up, but LaCroix starts throwing punches into Johnson's gut before following up with a knee to the gut."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"
Jim Jackson: "LaCroix grabs Johnson's skull and slams it off of the steel steps. LaCroix goes to lift Johnson into a bodyslam, but Johnson slips down and pushes LaCroix hard into the steel steps."
Brad Blood: "There is no way LaCroix's knee is 100% in this match. Absolutely no way. He looked to have tweaked it falling from the ring, and now he's had it slammed into metal." William LaCroix: "Look at that, I hurt my knee. Notice the "I" in that, it means that it was a self-inflicted injury. Now, let's take a look at later on in the same match." Jim Jackson: "Wait! The Masked Man has just hopped onto the apron and has grabbed Johnson's leg while the referee is tending to LaCroix! Johnson manages to push The Masked Man off of him and the apron! Johnson looks into the ring to see LaCroix getting to his feet and leaps!"
Brad Blood: "BICYCLE KICK FROM LACROIX! He just countered what looked to be a double axe handle with the Riot Run! That took a lot out of LaCroix, but at least he's conscious and going for the cover!" William LaCroix: "Damn! Somebody got their head kicked off! See? Like I said, the lightweights are pathetic. I HURT MYSELF! And yet, this idiot still couldn't defeat me. Oh sure, you will all say "The Masked Man cost him this match. It was The Masked Man's fault. You didn't really win, LaCroix". In response, I will say that The Masked Man wouldn't have been able to get involved if Johnson would have stayed off of the turnbuckles. If he would have focused on my knee, maybe, maybe he could have won. Doubtful, but there is a possibility. The bottom line is this, if they can't even defeat me when I do the damage to myself, what hope could they possibly have to defeat me when I don't? Exactly." LaCroix tosses the microphone out of his hands before exiting the ring. The lights remain dimmed and the spotlight remains on him until he disappears backstage. Interviewer Lex Lexington is seen with Taufik and his manager, Manolo Ferrer, standing beside him. Taufik has his Singapore cane on his shoulder. Lexington begins to speak, but Mr. Ferrer interrupts him.
Manolo Ferrer: "We just heard earlier that anyone from the Age of Pain and the DWMA is banned from getting involved in this match. That's not going to be an issue with us. So let's talk about the opponents Mr. Taufik will be facing tonight."
Lex Lexington: "Sure."
Manolo Ferrer: "On one side, we have probably the toughest women's wrestler in the world today. On the other side, we have someone whose idea of being brave is to live in hiding. You probably couldn't ask for two more different opponents than Mr. Monotomo and Ms. Connoly. But they've both felt the sting of Mr. Taufik's cane. I think they're going to feel Mr. Taufik's cane in this match, even if the match ends up across the street. My client is looking to punish them for getting in his way, and I'm sure they know by now that he's pretty good at it."
Mr. Ferrer steps back, as Lexington looks to Taufik.Taufik stares at Lex Lexington who gets intimidated. Taufik then wrests the mic away from Lex Lexington's hand and shoves him away off the camera's sights and begins talking.
Taufik: "I don't need no stinkin' interviewer... Now to address two bitches who I shall be facing in the ring tonight. Yes ! I'm talking to the bitches who goes by the name of Yuki Monotomo and the Head Of All Bitches the ULOL Campeón No Masculino and the holder of MY Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik, Raven Connoly. Tonight I will get my hands on my title again cause you see the last time we met, you were BEATEN WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE!!! You were lucky that night as YOU WON MY TITLE BY JUST A MILLISECOND!!! Yet after that match, A nosy asswipe named Yuki Monotomo came out from his the hole under the banner of The DMWA and tried to cheap shot with me. But guess what?? He FAILED! That's right, he failed miserably! He couldn't even do an ambush attack right. Of course I would have wanted retribution but I got banned from harming any of my adversaries here from two weeks ago until tonight. When I was finally able to have a match with that Yuki boy last week, he was still lucky to escape my wrath.”
Taufik swings his Singapore cane and smashes a few crates in the background letting out his rage.
Taufik: “But tonight, there is something different. Tonight I can go all out on those two bitches and THERE’S NOTHING THAT MS.EUNICE WINSLOW CAN DO ABOUT IT!!! I will make that bitch Raven Connoly moan and run back to her daddy once I take MY TITLE BACK!!! As for YUKI? I will make sure that tonight WILL BE THE END OF YOUR EXISTENCE!!! You have the audacity to come and interfere in my business, well you fucked with the wrong man Yuki. I will give you a special beating as I claim THE CORREA GRANDE DEL ORO DE TAUFIK ONCE AGAIN!!! Back to you RAVEN, you asked that The Age of Pain be banned from ringside? Don't worry your pretty little face cause I have already told them not to interfere in this match because I wanna finish the both of you myself."
Taufik throws the mic to Lex Lexington who has been hiding in the background and waits for his manager Manolo Ferrer to close the interview.Mr. Taufik's manager leans over the microphone.
Manolo Ferrer: "It's time for Mr. Taufik to make people sing in pain."
He leads his client on towards the ring.  VS VS Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen! The following contest is a triple-threat hardcore match, and is for the Correa Grande del Oro de Raven Connoly!"
The fans start booing as "All that Remains" plays.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the first challenger! Representing the Age of Pain, and accompanied to the ring by his manager, Mr. Manolo Ferrer, here is Taufik!"
Mr. Ferrer leads Taufik out to the stage, as pyros go off around them. They make their way to the ring, Taufik toting his trusty Singapore Cane. When he reaches the ring, he raises his Singapore Cane as another set of pyros explode.
Brad Blood: "Taufik probably would've preferred going after Raven one on one."
Jim Jackson: "Unfortunately, he and Yuki Monotomo fought to a no contest last week. Leading to Raven's title defense being turned into a triple threat. It seems at times that Taufik's rage against the DWMA overshadows what he feels towards Raven."
Brad Blood: "And for Taufik, the best way to calm the rage is recapturing and putting his name back on the Correa Grande del Oro."
Jim Jackson: "He'll have to do this on his own, though. The rest of the Age of Pain are banned from getting involved in this match."
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the second challenger! He represents the DWMA! He is Yuki Monotomo!"
Welcome to the Club Now by Manian plays for a dimly lighted stage. The lights begin to flash with the beat as Yuki Monotmo walks to the stage, taking time to flirt with the ladies. He poses and points to various people in the crowd, his body language showing confidence.
Jim Jackson: "Yuki took a very hard whack to the head from Taufik last week. You can expect him to find way of getting back at him. Whether it means walking out of here tonight as a Champion remains to be seen."
Brad Blood: "The guy comes to this match having made peace with probably the biggest mistake he's made in his young life. And to think, he's gotta thank Manolo Ferrer for helping him finally face up to that."
Jim Jackson: "Or maybe it's Manolo Ferrer who is regretting having goaded Monotomo into trying to make things right. For tonight, Yuki Monotomo won't have to worry about interference from the rest of the Age of Pain. However, his teammates in the DWMA are also banned from getting involved in the match"
Brad Blood: "Hey what the hell!?"
Jim Jackson: "Someone just struck Monotomo! That's...I think it's a bottle!"
Brad Blood: "Someone's jumping the rails! He's kicking Yuki!"
Jim Jackson: "The guy's wearing a mask! Security are grabbing him!"
There's a scuffle as ULOL security restrain the man, pulling him off the downed and bleeding Monotomo. The masked man is shouting angrily at Yuki as they pull off his mask.
Jim Jackson: "It's Ragki Nikara! I thought he'd made peace with Yuki!"
Ragki Nikara: "MY PARENTS DON'T SPEAK FOR ME! YOU TRIED TO KILL ME, AND NOW YOU WANT ME TO WORK FOR YOUR STUPID STABLE!? WHY, SO YOU CAN FINISH ME OFF!?!? FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID SHIT! FUCK YOU!"
Brad Blood: "They're taking Ragki away. But Yuki's bleeding badly from that bottle shot. He may not even be able to join the match."
Jasmine Lee: "Making her way to the ring, here is the reigning Correa Grande del Oro de Raven Connoly and Campeon no Masculino! Raven Connoly!"
"Warriors Code" By The Dropkick Murphy's starts to play throughout the arena. Raven runs out onto the stage, both the ULOL Campeon No Masculino and the Correa Grande del Oro de Raven Connoly are strapped around her waist. She throws her fist in the air and screams as a barrage of fireworks go off behind her.
Jim Jackson: "Here comes the defending Correa Grande del Oro de Raven Connoly! And she may have one less opponent to worry about, if Yuki Monotomo is deemed unfit to take part in the match!!"
Brad Blood: "She's certainly looking concerned at Yuki, while the EMTs check him. But she heads to the ring, ready for her match."
Jim Jackson: "Just as Manolo Ferrer makes his exit, as per the stipulations for this match. He stops to take a picture of Yuki Monotomo, before returning to the back."
Brad Blood: "The referee conferring with the EMTs...and he's now speaking to Jasmine Lee."
Jasmine Lee: "Referee Jack B. Nimble has just been informed that, due to Yuki Monotomo's injury, this match will now be Taufik vs Raven Connnoly!"
Brad Blood: "That was gonna be expected. And Yuki now being helped to the back. He's protesting that he still wants in, but the medical team won't have any of it."
Jasmine Lee: "And now...LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik lunges at Raven, but Connoly ducks! Kicks him hard, forcing Taufik into the ropes! She's kicking away at him, keeping him trapped against the ropes!"
Brad Blood: "But Taufik shoves Raven hard to the mat! Only to run into a legtrip!"
Jim Jackson: "Raven quick with a rollup, but Taufik kicks out before Jack B. Nimble can begin the count! Connoly continues to keep Taufik off-balance with stiff strikes!"
Brad Blood: "Taufik manages to block! Lunges at Raven for a hard takedown! And Raven's screaming!"
Jim Jackson: "He's dragging her to her feet by her...assets! TOSSES HER into the ropes!"
Brad Blood: "Raven's tangled up!"
Jim Jackson: "He KICKS her loose! Sending Connoly tumbling to the floor! Standard hardcore rules apply! There are no countouts in this match, and a pinfall or submission can happen anywhere in the building!"
Brad Blood: "Or outside it!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik sneaks out of the ring...and rushes at a dazed Raven to tackle her! And he's kicking her in the legs!"
Brad Blood: "Trying to keep her grounded. And even if she doesn't stay down, she'll hurt herself even when she uses her legs for offense."
Jim Jackson: "Taufik...lifting Connoly for a suplex, but drops her onto the railing! Raven Connoly draped across the rail!"
Brad Blood: "He's peeling her off! And he's covering her!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two!"
Jim Jackson: "Connoly kicks out! Taufik...with another suplex!"
Brad Blood: "No, Raven manages to slip loose! BACK BRAIN KICK!"
Jim Jackson: "She takes Taufik down! Raven clutching her side, though! Her ribs may be hurt!"
Brad Blood: "Taufik managing to get back up!"
Jim Jackson: "He's wobbly, but already stalking Raven! He's grabbing Connoly...and he's going to slingshot her into the ringpost!"
Brad Blood: "Raven's shot into the post! But she manages to block it!"
Jim Jackson: "It looks like she's hurt her hands though! Taufik sneaking up behind her! GRABBING HER IN A REAR NAKED CHOKE!"
Brad Blood: "Taufik trying to wring Raven's neck!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik trying to force a tapout, rather than beat Raven into unconsiousness!"
Brad Blood: "Raven KICKS him between the legs to free herself!"
Jim Jackson: "Connoly trying to get some air back in her lungs! Taufik trying to get down from falsetto!"
Brad Blood: "He's got a really high pitch right now!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik trying to get to his feet BUT RAVEN THROWS HERSELF AT HIM IN DESPERATION!"
Brad Blood: "BIG HEADBUTT TO TAUFIK'S MINI SINGAPORE CANE!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik falls lifeless to the mat! Raven...she's crawling to him!"
Brad Blood: "She's going for the cover!"
Jim Jackson: "Trying to roll him on his back! She's got him!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two!"
Jim Jackson: "But the challenger kicks out! Raven...staggering to her feet!"
Brad Blood: "And she kicks Taufik hard before he can get up!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik pinned against the guardrail, as Connnoly blasts him with repeated kicks to the chest and head! Pulls Taufik up...and rams him into the guardrail!"
Brad Blood: "She's got Taufik reeling!"
Jim Jackson: "Spinning heel kick nearly sends him over the rail! Raven grabs him from behind for a full nelson! But Taufik slips loose and goes behind her!"
Brad Blood: "He's got her NO SHE TURNS IT INTO A BULLDOG ON TAUFIK!"
Jim Jackson: "They've fought their way up to the aisle!"
Brad Blood: "SHINING WIZARD CONNECTS WITH TAUFIK'S JAW! HE'S OUT COLD!"
Jim Jackson: "RAVEN CONNOLY COULD WIN IT! She's limping her way to Taufik!"
Brad Blood: "YUKI MONOTOMO JUST FLATTENED HER FROM BEHIND! HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE NOT IN THIS MATCH!"
Jim Jackson: "Clearly he disagrees! He's attacking Connoly!"
Brad Blood: "I bet with the same vigor he used to attack his best friend!"
Jim Jackson: "Raven trying to fight him off! But Yuki blocks her! Sends her hurtling into one of the announce teams, who are also here doing commentary! We've got a lot of announcers here from around the world covering this pay per view!"
Brad Blood: "And now Yuki spots Taufik!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik getting hammered! Monotomo slams him against the ring apron! Reaches under the ring...and clocks Taufik with a fruit basket!"
Brad Blood: "Taufik's dazed by the lychees!"
Jim Jackson: "Monotomo tosses a roll of dirty socks at Taufik!"
Brad Blood: "TAUFIK HAS A CUT!!"
Jim Jackson: "Monotomo searching under the ring again...and hits Taufik with a supersized pack of French fries!"
Brad Blood: "The salt's blinded him!"
Jim Jackson: "Yuki lunges and takes Taufik down with a flying tackle! BUT RAVEN WITH A RUNNING NECKBREAKER TO MONOTOMO BEFORE HE COULD GET UP!"
Brad Blood: "Raven has the big Yuki covered!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two!"
Jim Jackson: "Monotomo gets the shoulder up! Connoly...now she's got Taufik covered!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two!"
Brad Blood: "Taufik manages to kick out!"
Jim Jackson: "Raven now looking under the ring! She pulls out a Care Bears cushion! AND SHE HITS TAUFIK WITH IT!"
Brad Blood: "THE CUSHION EXPLODES INTO A MASS OF GOOSE DOWN! TAUFIK IS BLEEDING!!"
Jim Jackson: "That was the power of caring right there. Connoly searching under the ring again!"
Brad Blood: "Hey, wait that's a gun! Is that legal!?"
Jim Jackson: "Raven totally perplexed! But she points it at Yuki MONOTOMO VICIOUSLY TACKLES HER OUT OF HER BOOTS!"
Brad Blood: "THE GUN WENT OFF! NEARLY MISSED TAUFIK!"
Jim Jackson: "Monotomo SLAMS Raven hard into another announcers' table! And the announcers are attacking Monotomo?"
Brad Blood: "...I know those guys!"
Jim Jackson: "It's the Dudleyville announcers' desk! Wait, Dudleyville has its own announce team?"
Brad Blood: "THEY 3-D YUKI THROUGH THEIR TABLE!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik is pulling himself back up! and he's LIVID!"
Brad Blood: "I would be too, if someone tried to shoot me!"
Jim Jackson: "Wait, the Dudleys are grabbing Raven! They're...oh no!"
Brad Blood: "POWERBOMBED THROUGH ANOTHER TABLE!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik looks happy with that!"
Brad Blood: "Wait! They attack him too! Hey, don't drag him our way! We're not Spanish!"
Jim Jackson: "THEY 3-D TAUFIK THROUGH THE GUARDRAIL!"
Brad Blood: "Man, these guys don't like anyone interrupting their commentary!"
Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo SOMEHOW getting himself back up from that 3-D through the table! He spots Raven lying in the splinters!"
Brad Blood: "This match is as good as his to win!"
Jim Jackson: "Monotomo scrambling to get to Connoly! He's covering Raven NO WAIT RAVEN ROLLS HIM UP! SHE'S GOT HIM COVERED!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Brad Blood: "SHE'S DONE IT!"
Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match...and the title is STILL the Correa Grande del Oro de Raven Connoly!"
Jim Jackson: "What an INCREDIBLE title defense! Connoly manages to keep the title by the skin of her teeth!"
Brad Blood: "I don't know how she managed to kick out of a few of these really close pinfalls! I was sure she was toast!"
Jim Jackson: "Connoly can barely stand. She's gonna be feeling this whole match maybe for weeks, but she's stepped into the match with two titles, and she's leaving with two titles!"Suddenly, Dragon by JAM Project plays as footage from an old Japanese anime runs on the Titan Tron, the lights go dim, and fog covers the stage. Once the music starts to become more lively, the lights return to their normal brightness and Musashi runs enthusiastically toward the ring, waving a golden ticket over his head. He jumps through the ropes, managing this time to avoid getting entangled, and picks up a mic from the floor.
Musashi Kuruma: "Those of you who thought I was gone, you were mistaken. I was only delayed by a minor setback, as well as a couple of broken ribs and a fractured skull, and maybe a snapped tibia. But I have returned, my fans, to turn in this ticket I won through careful planning and swift hands, to gain a shot at the title. And this is as good of an opportunity as I will probably get!"
Musashi turns to face his now-opponent, pointing dramatically.
Musashi Kuruma: "Now, prepare yourself for the full power of Mount Daisetsu! I, Musashi Kuruma, challenge you for that title belt! Prepare yourself for a rigorous match full of twists and turns, swerves and curves, powerbombs and suplexes! Get ready! To! Wrestle!"
At this point, some members of the audience may notice that Musashi's theme is still playing. It seems the stop button has malfunctioned, somehow. Musashi, however, either hasn't noticed or doesn't care, as he heads straight for the climax!Jim Jackson: "Aw man! Raven Connoly just survived a vicious match!"
Brad Blood: "Maybe she shouldn't have survived it then!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen! The following contest is a hardcore title defense for the Correa Grande del Oro de Raven Connoly! The official in charge is Jack B. Nimble! And now...LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "...This is another hardcore match?"
Brad Blood: "I think Jasmine just assumed it was. This ought to be just a regular singles match."
Jim Jackson: "Raven picks up the gun and tries to dispose of it before anyone else gets hurt... THE GUN WENT OFF ACCIDENTALLY!!! RAVEN JUST SHOT MUSASHI KURUMA! HOLY SHIT!"
Brad Blood: "SHE STILL HAD THE GUN SHE FOUND UNDER THE RING!"
Jim Jackson: "MUSASHI'S HOLDING HIS LEG! HE'S BEEN SHOT IN THE LEG! RAVEN LOOKS SHOCKED!!!"
Brad Blood: "Nimble's just staring at the whole thing! He's calling for the bell!"
Jim Jackson: "Jack B. Nimble talking to Raven Connoly...and it looks like Connoly's getting very hysterical!"
Brad Blood: "He's now talking to Jasmine Lee. Oh, and Jasmine looks like she just found out she's made a mistake!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen! I stand corrected. This match is not under hardcore rules! However, because Ms. Connoly used an illegal object, the winner of the match, by disqualification...Musashi Kuruma!"
Jim Jackson: "Raven must have thought the match was gonna be hardcore too!"
Jasmine Lee: "However, because the title cannot change hands by disqualification in a standard singles match, Raven Connoly is still the Correa Grande del Oro de Raven Connoly!"
Brad Blood: "Raven still doesn't look happy! She drops the gun and is visibly shaken at the ordeal!"
Jim Jackson: "We hope Musashi recovers soon..."The Camera opens to show Allister sitting at his desk alone. When suddenly the door bursts open.
Allister King: "What the ......"
Shadow Callahan runs into the room and kicks Allister in the chest sending him to the floor. Shadow begins to kick Allister in the head until blood is seen. He lifts him to his feet.
Shadow Callahan: "Payback's a bitch!"
Shadow smacks Allister in the side of the head. Allister falls to the floor.
Shadow Callahan: "The King's reign is over and there is nothing to can do about it."
Shadow gives him a final kick to the gut before leaving with a grin on his face. The camera fades as Allister lies on the floor. The scene open to the camera idly sitting and looking at random things in the hallway before shaking abruptly. A low voice can be heard but the words would not be made out clearly enough to be understood. After a moment the camera man began his movement, finally coming to the office of Eunice P. Winslow. Cameraman: "Are you sure?"??: "Trust me, we have a history."With the odd question out of the way the door swings open. No knocking, no politeness, no manners. The camera gave a small shake at the grunt was heard, probably either the camera tripping over his own feet or being shoved. Now in the directed position he was ordered to the camera man focuses on Eunice, the mysterious figure only partial visible on the camera. Besides the obviously noticeable right hand of the gentleman was the gold outlined cross on the cuff of his shirt. ??: "Well, well, well. Looks like you still have a job somewhere after all, and the same kind too when I last saw if I am not mistaken Mrs. Winslow."The voice was nearly chilling even in its attempt to 'lighten the mood'. The man folded his arms in front of him as a small chuckle was heard. With the small subtle movements of the scene it was beginning to be clear that the man behind the lens was not in a comfortable position. ??: "I thought maybe you would be oh so nice and do something for me, like old times. I am sure you haven't forgotten my history did you?"Eunice P. Winslow picks up her handkerchief and cleans her glasses before putting them on and looking at the person standing before her.
Eunice P. Winslow: "My my my, look what the cat dragged in... I see your stint in rehab did you good. I think I have a free space here in the roster provided you stay sober... We've had enough drunks and addicts around that I can't really afford another one."
The VGM of ULOL smiles and looks the visitor over.
Eunice P. Winslow: "Yes, you cleaned up good, I hope you ARE in wrestling form? I would hate to sign someone who could injure himself in the ring you know."
Winslow sifts through a pile of papers in her drawers and pulls out a contract. She then sets it in front of her desk and pushes it towards the wrestler standing before her.
Eunice P. Winslow: "If you think you won't disappoint me, then sign at the dotted line."The man gave a good chuckle as he looked down to the papers, reaching to his shirt to remove a pen of his own and giving it a quick click to expose the tip. As the man looked over the contract he spoke, his voice more thankful if anything. ??: "You can say I found a path worthy of walking. I am in better shape now than ever and with a book that needs the final chapter written out..."With that he began to sign his name slowly and elegantly, ensuring absolute precision in a newly formed habit. Almost like an OCD complex. As he did this he began to speak, his voice now more foreboding and sinister. ??: "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee." By the time the man finish with his speech he had already slid the contract back infront of Eunice and placed his pen back into his shirt pocket. His right hand and the gold cross outline cuff back in focus.
??: "..and he will receive that vengeance like none other before him..."With that the man turned on his heels and began to walk out, the cameraman not even bothering to following him out the door. The voice spoke up one last time before finally departing. ??: "I thank you Mrs. Winslow, I am sure will do much more business in the future." | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Cojones Grande 05/29/2011 Sun May 29, 2011 11:31 am | |
| The crowd boos as Arnold Bold and Felix Schwarz appear on the giant videoscreen. Each man is wearing his Campeones Companero title. With them is their manager, Manolo Ferrer. Interviewer Lex Lexington is standing by, ready with his questions.
Lex Lexington: "Mr. Ferrer, your clients, the reigning Campeones Companero, are set to defend their titles against three other teams in a tag elimination match. This is probably the biggest challenge your team will face here in ULOL."
Manolo Ferrer: "Since last week, Oriental Spices have been more forthcoming about how they feel they've been disrespected, because they get overlooked so often. I'd think my clients are even more disrespected than Ms. Nao and Mr. Wang. Our enemies talk each week about how they're going to beat Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz for the Campeones Companero, and how worthless the tag division is supposed to be until this or that team that are not my clients showed up."
Mr. Ferrer leans closer to the camera.
Manolo Ferrer: "I'm sure the bookers loved reading how you think all their work was worthless to you."
He steps back to again speak to Lex Lexington.
Manolo Ferrer: "We keep hearing from this or that wannabe team how they're going to take the titles off Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz. And they keep talking about it, even when my clients have won every match that matters. Now, we're here, in the bonus stage, with the odds against us. Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz look forward to unlocking the Bonus Achievement."
He passes the microphone to the reigning Campeones Companero.Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "Really Lex, is it really my biggest defense? Because last time I was in a match at PPV Stephan Dawson or whatever his name is asked me the same things. And what’s changed? Nothing has changed well except the interviewer. I’m so sick of being underrated and overlooked. “Big deal” that Oriental Jobbers been overlooked by everybody. Well, newsflash to you all challengers, we are not going anywhere and neither are the titles we are holding." GoodFella looks to the Felix and sees that he wants to say some words.Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "Wait Felix I am going to finish my turn now. So to conclude I want to say that after this night no one will never say that Campeones Companero is worthless title but they will realize how grand this title is!"
GoodFella passes the microphone to Felix, who looks somehow very happy. Felix Schwarz: "My colleague here has a good point. Since this team was formed, poeple thought that we were just a joke like our stable, Age of Pain. But once again we will prove that we ain’t any joke and tonight The DWMA will suffer in pain as well as the other teams. Once and for all, we will show who are top dogs here. Let’s go on guys and beat those punks. Felix gives a microphone to Lex and all guys leaves the backstage area and goes to the ring.Cojones Grande has been brought to you by Free Cat, Inc.
HERE AT FREE CAT, INC. WE WILL SOLVE ALL THOSE PESKY LITTLE ISSUES YOU HAVE! OWN A PET NOW HASSLE FREE! NO NEED TO FEED IT, NO NEED TO WALK IT! NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING! SO CALL NOW AT 1-800-FREE-CAT! AND WE'LL DELIVER YOUR VERY OWN FREE CAT RIGHT TO YOUR DOORSTEP FOR FREE!!!Manolo Ferrer is seen discussing something with one of the janitors. He points in a direction, earning a nod of confirmation from the man he's talking to.
Mr. Ferrer walks in the direction of where he pointed, stopping in front of a door that has The Anarchists sign.
He tapes a sheet of paper to the door. After making sure it won't fall off, the manager walks away.
GOODFELLA: 1
SHOGUN: 0  & VS & VS &VS & Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen! The following is a four-way elimination match, and is for the Campeones Companero!"
The crowd cheers as Oriental music starts to play.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the first challengers! They are Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi! The Oriental Spices!!"
Smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. Little Wang pops up from in between her legs. They quickly makes their way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. They bow and give their respect to the crowd before heading to their corner.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the next challengers! They represent the DWMA! They are Ray Kamaura and Leon Hinomoto!"
The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura and Leon walk slowly to the start of the ramp. Following behind is Yuki Monotomo. All three superstars stop and the lights turn back on after lightning strikes behind them. The lasers continue as Ray and Leon slowly enter the ring. Yuki poses for the fans then runs to the apron. They go to diffrent ring posts and climb them, then strike a pose. Yuki slides in the ring and humps the air in the direction of the female fans, then moves to the outside. Ray and Leon move to the same side of the ring and wait for thier challengers. Yuki moves back to the barrier and starts talking to the ladies.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the third team! They are Shadow Callahan and Shogun! The Anarchists!"
A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals blasts though the arena speakers ans the lights begin to flash on and off. As the lyrics begin Shogun bursts from behind the curtains with fire erupting from the ramp beside him. Shogun begins to make his way to the ring with a look of pure intensity on his face. as he makes it to the ring he runs up and rolls into the ring the expression on his face unchanged.
Jim Jackson: "Here's one half of the Anarchists."
Hurt's Rapture begins to blast through the PA system. A blinding light and smoke covers the entrance. Shadow Callahan makes his way out wearing a white expressionless mask and carrying the harbinger. He looks up to the skies and raises his arms as 2 flaming crucifixes appear. He walks down to the ring with his head down. He enters the ring, stands motionless in the centre of the ring with one hand covering the mask. He takes the mask off and lets out a primal scream. He looks around him before walking over to the corner.
Jasmine Lee: "The fourth and final team! Accompanied by their manager, Manolo Ferrer, here are Arnold 'Goodfella' Bold and Felix Schwarz! They are the reigning Campeones Companero! They are the Age of Pain!"
"Fire Flame" by Birdman starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again and Felix and Arnold are standing in the middle of the ring with their manager. Both Schwarz and Goodfella wear his title belt.
The titantron flickered, brief and quick transitions between static and pitch black before a horribly distorted image of a man appeared on the screen. The sounds were warped, haunting almost to give the eerie message much more meaning. Finally the message itself came onto the screen, in all of its unique glory:
|̑ͩͨͭ̒͒ͫͨ͗ͤ̉ͧ̏ͤͩ͏͘͢҉̮̯͈͇͙̣̦̜̟ ͕̳̬̼̰͈̪͙̻̞|̶̙̳̝̺͙̫̞̬͎̫ ̼̗̖͈͚̣ͫͬͬ̊ͮ̾̒ͤ̎́̚̕͜͠͠|̬͓̘͖͓̼̼̼ ̟̲ͬͫ̉ͯ͊̃͌́ͣ̈͒͗ͯ̓̄̔̍̚͢ |̛ͯ̅̂̍ͦ̔͠҉̭͓̦͈̘̯̯̖͙͔̻̀|̛͊̿́ͣ̏ ̉ͦ̈̇͢ |̐͐̌ͤ҉̸̣͕̦͈̼̗̱͍͓̞̝̦̼̟|̧̼̲̞̦̪ͯͨ ́ͥͧ̊̆̃̓͊̄ͦ͊̀͢|̷̛̑͊̃ͪ͏ ̴͉͖̳̺̜͍̟̻̪ͅ|̶̶̜̮͓̳̙̤̥̪̹̾̑ͧ͗̍̈ͭ ̄̈́̂̾̈̍ͪ|̧̧ͣ̊ͥͭ̊ͪ̇̇̎̃ ͬ̌̐͏̟̟͓̺̫̘̹̫|̸͕͇̥̠̰̜̯̫̂̋̄͛͑̿́͗ ̃͡|ͫͯ̎̂̊̈̓̆̑ͩ̀҉̵̝̦̻͉̻ ̫̣̭̦̝̹̯͎̲̯̕|̡̛͖̥̟͓ͨͨͬ̉͆͒ͦ̌͂ͦ̍͛ ̊ͯ̈ͩͮ͟͝͠ͅ|̡̼̝̗̘̥̖̲̬̫͍ ͯ̋̓ͭͩ̾ͥ̐̀́͟͞|̸̥̦͚̮
....Goodfella....
|̑ͩͨͭ̒͒ͫͨ͗ͤ̉ͧ̏ͤͩ͏͘͢҉̮̯͈͇͙̣̦̜̟ ͕̳̬̼̰͈̪͙̻̞|̶̙̳̝̺͙̫̞̬͎̫ ̼̗̖͈͚̣ͫͬͬ̊ͮ̾̒ͤ̎́̚̕͜͠͠|̬͓̘͖͓̼̼̼ ̟̲ͬͫ̉ͯ͊̃͌́ͣ̈͒͗ͯ̓̄̔̍̚͢ |̛ͯ̅̂̍ͦ̔͠҉̭͓̦͈̘̯̯̖͙͔̻̀|̛͊̿́ͣ̏ ̉ͦ̈̇͢ |̐͐̌ͤ҉̸̣͕̦͈̼̗̱͍͓̞̝̦̼̟|̧̼̲̞̦̪ͯͨ ́ͥͧ̊̆̃̓͊̄ͦ͊̀͢|̷̛̑͊̃ͪ͏ ̴͉͖̳̺̜͍̟̻̪ͅ|̶̶̜̮͓̳̙̤̥̪̹̾̑ͧ͗̍̈ͭ ̄̈́̂̾̈̍ͪ|̧̧ͣ̊ͥͭ̊ͪ̇̇̎̃ ͬ̌̐͏̟̟͓̺̫̘̹̫|̸͕͇̥̠̰̜̯̫̂̋̄͛͑̿́͗ ̃͡|ͫͯ̎̂̊̈̓̆̑ͩ̀҉̵̝̦̻͉̻ ̫̣̭̦̝̹̯͎̲̯̕|̡̛͖̥̟͓ͨͨͬ̉͆͒ͦ̌͂ͦ̍͛ ̊ͯ̈ͩͮ͟͝͠ͅ|̡̼̝̗̘̥̖̲̬̫͍ ͯ̋̓ͭͩ̾ͥ̐̀́͟͞|̸̥̦͚̮
....I see you.....
|̑ͩͨͭ̒͒ͫͨ͗ͤ̉ͧ̏ͤͩ͏͘͢҉̮̯͈͇͙̣̦̜̟ ͕̳̬̼̰͈̪͙̻̞|̶̙̳̝̺͙̫̞̬͎̫ ̼̗̖͈͚̣ͫͬͬ̊ͮ̾̒ͤ̎́̚̕͜͠͠|̬͓̘͖͓̼̼̼ ̟̲ͬͫ̉ͯ͊̃͌́ͣ̈͒͗ͯ̓̄̔̍̚͢ |̛ͯ̅̂̍ͦ̔͠҉̭͓̦͈̘̯̯̖͙͔̻̀|̛͊̿́ͣ̏ ̉ͦ̈̇͢ |̐͐̌ͤ҉̸̣͕̦͈̼̗̱͍͓̞̝̦̼̟|̧̼̲̞̦̪ͯͨ ́ͥͧ̊̆̃̓͊̄ͦ͊̀͢|̷̛̑͊̃ͪ͏ ̴͉͖̳̺̜͍̟̻̪ͅ|̶̶̜̮͓̳̙̤̥̪̹̾̑ͧ͗̍̈ͭ ̄̈́̂̾̈̍ͪ|̧̧ͣ̊ͥͭ̊ͪ̇̇̎̃ ͬ̌̐͏̟̟͓̺̫̘̹̫|̸͕͇̥̠̰̜̯̫̂̋̄͛͑̿́͗ ̃͡|ͫͯ̎̂̊̈̓̆̑ͩ̀҉̵̝̦̻͉̻ ̫̣̭̦̝̹̯͎̲̯̕|̡̛͖̥̟͓ͨͨͬ̉͆͒ͦ̌͂ͦ̍͛ ̊ͯ̈ͩͮ͟͝͠ͅ|̡̼̝̗̘̥̖̲̬̫͍ ͯ̋̓ͭͩ̾ͥ̐̀́͟͞|̸̥̦͚̮
.....I found you....
|̑ͩͨͭ̒͒ͫͨ͗ͤ̉ͧ̏ͤͩ͏͘͢҉̮̯͈͇͙̣̦̜̟ ͕̳̬̼̰͈̪͙̻̞|̶̙̳̝̺͙̫̞̬͎̫ ̼̗̖͈͚̣ͫͬͬ̊ͮ̾̒ͤ̎́̚̕͜͠͠|̬͓̘͖͓̼̼̼ ̟̲ͬͫ̉ͯ͊̃͌́ͣ̈͒͗ͯ̓̄̔̍̚͢ |̛ͯ̅̂̍ͦ̔͠҉̭͓̦͈̘̯̯̖͙͔̻̀|̛͊̿́ͣ̏ ̉ͦ̈̇͢ |̐͐̌ͤ҉̸̣͕̦͈̼̗̱͍͓̞̝̦̼̟|̧̼̲̞̦̪ͯͨ ́ͥͧ̊̆̃̓͊̄ͦ͊̀͢|̷̛̑͊̃ͪ͏ ̴͉͖̳̺̜͍̟̻̪ͅ|̶̶̜̮͓̳̙̤̥̪̹̾̑ͧ͗̍̈ͭ ̄̈́̂̾̈̍ͪ|̧̧ͣ̊ͥͭ̊ͪ̇̇̎̃ ͬ̌̐͏̟̟͓̺̫̘̹̫|̸͕͇̥̠̰̜̯̫̂̋̄͛͑̿́͗ ̃͡|ͫͯ̎̂̊̈̓̆̑ͩ̀҉̵̝̦̻͉̻ ̫̣̭̦̝̹̯͎̲̯̕|̡̛͖̥̟͓ͨͨͬ̉͆͒ͦ̌͂ͦ̍͛ ̊ͯ̈ͩͮ͟͝͠ͅ|̡̼̝̗̘̥̖̲̬̫͍ ͯ̋̓ͭͩ̾ͥ̐̀́͟͞|̸̥̦͚The image remained on screen a good portion of time before finally cutting off, only leaving behind an outline of cross in gold on the black background. After that the entire titantron shut off, leaving many to wonder what is the meaning of the message.
Jasmine Lee: "The official in charge is Don Q. Hotte. And now...LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "Shogun and Goodfella starting out. Again, anyone can tag anyone else in the match. But teammates cannot be forced to fight each other. Elimination can be by pinfall or submission."
Brad Blood: "Shogun quick to get the upper hand over Bold! Big chops to the chest! Followed by a snap suplex!"
Jim Jackson: "Shogun goes for another suplex, but Goodfella floats behind him! Clothesline to the back of the head! Arnold Bold quickly grabbing Shogun, trying to push his advantage!"
Brad Blood: "But Shogun fires back with some hard elbow shots!"
Jim Jackson: "The Age of Pain have said much about Goodfella's victory over Shogun. The former Primo Ultimo Champion certain to try and get even with Goodfella tonight."
Brad Blood: "Bold ducks Shogun's clothesline! Connects again with a shot to the back of Shogun's head!"
Jim Jackson: "And he rams Shogun's head into the turnbuckle! Tag to Felix Schwarz! Doubleteam Russian legsweep to Shogun!"
Brad Blood: "Schwarz follows that with a standing senton splash!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"
Jim Jackson: "Schwarz only gets two! Shogun dragged to his feet...and Goodfella tagged back in. The Campeones Companero making quick tags as they hammer away at Shogun!"
Brad Blood: "Shogun being kept in the Age of Pain's corner, as Felix is tagged back in!"
Jim Jackson: "Schwarz with a suplex! Has Shogun...but Shogun blocks the second suplex attempt! Shogun lifts and drops Felix Schwarz onto the ropes! AND HE LUNGES TO TAG SHADOW CALLAHAN!"
Brad Blood: "Callahan CLOTHESLINES Schwarz back into the ring!"
Jim Jackson: "Schwarz trying to fight back, but Callahan smothers him with a flurry of hard shots! Hard Irish whip into the corner! Schwarz with a foot to the face to halt Callahan's momentum!"
Brad Blood: "But he runs into a powerslam!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"
Jim Jackson: "Schwarz kicks out! Callahan...with a Bossman slam! And he's lifting Schwarz back up! Another Bossman slam!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Brad Blood: "No no, Felix beat the count! Ref says only two!"
Jim Jackson: "Callahan choking Schwarz on the mat! The referee warning him to let go! Callahan lets go at four! He drags Schwarz to his feet...and whips him hard into the Anarchists' corner!"
Brad Blood: "Shogun suckerpunches Felix!"
Jim Jackson: "Shadow follows up with a lariat! Shogun tagged back in, and the Anarchists doubleteam Schwarz!"
Brad Blood: "Shogun stalking Felix!"
Jim Jackson: "Shogun looking to end this quick, but Felix Schwarz ducks under him! Up and TAGS Leon Hinomoto!"
Brad Blood: "Leon not expecting that!"
Jim Jackson: "Felix Schwarz using strategy as he bails himself out of a tight spot! Hinomoto charges in, but Shogun ready for him! Quick bodyslam!"
Brad Blood: "Hinomoto kicks Shogun off before he could follow up! Leon with a hiptoss!"
Jim Jackson: "Shogun taken down with another hiptoss! But the former Primo Ultimo Champion staggers Hinomoto with a big kick to the chest! Goes for a takedown, but Hinomoto counters! Hits a flapjack on Shogun! Tag to his partner, Ray Kamaura!"
Brad Blood: "And they rush Shogun with a doubleteam shoulderblock!"
Jim Jackson: "Kamaura challenged Shogun for the Primo Ultimo title at our HanuChrisKwanbo pay per view! That was Shogun's first title defense on ULOL PPV! Kamaura looking to show Shogun he's ready to take him on tonight! Big slam by Kamaura!"
Brad Blood: "Shogun cut off from reaching his corner!!"
Jim Jackson: "The DWMA have been making bold predictions for weeks that they're going to become Campeones Companero! Tonight they can make that come true! But they'll have to get past these three other teams!"
Brad Blood: "Shogun sidesteps Kamaura! Dropkick takes Ray down!"
Jim Jackson: "Shadow reaching in for the tag, but Shogun ups and tags Nao Fook Mi!"
Brad Blood: "And the Oriental Spices come into play for the match!"
Jim Jackson: "The Oriental Spices managed to qualify for this title match. But many pick them as having the longest odds of winning this."
Brad Blood: "They've been fired up these past few weeks, but all the other teams are...well, bigger than they are."
Jim Jackson: "Kamaura easily overpowering Nao Fook Mi. He lifts her over oh she slides down behind him! Kicks him in the leg! But he grabs her and punches her down! The DWMA were originally scheduled to fight the Oriental Spices for a tag title shot, but the match never took place. Instead, we had our four-way contenders' match last week."
Brad Blood: "Nao Fook Mi being manhandled here. She's lifted up...and Ray keeps her up in the vertical suplex position!"
Jim Jackson: "Goodfella runs in to DROPKICK Kamaura in the knee! Nao Fook Mi falls on top of Ray Kamaura!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"
Brad Blood: "Kamaura kicks out! Leon rushing in after Goodfella!"
Jim Jackson: "Bold taunting Hinomoto! Leon sees Nao Fook Mi getting to her feet, and goes for a big boot!"
Brad Blood: "Nao Fook Mi ducks it! Heel kick to Leon sends him tumbling through the ropes!"
Jim Jackson: "Ray Kamaura staggers Nao from behind! He's grabbing her by the back of the neck! Nao Fook Mi trying to break free!"
Brad Blood: "He's lifting her up for the Little Wang launches himself at him!"
Jim Jackson: "He punts Wang down! Grabs Nao Fook Mi and yanks her off her feet by the back of her neck! Hits the Game Changer!"
Brad Blood: "Bold tagged Nao Fook Mi before she hit the ground!"
Jim Jackson: "Kamaura didn't see it! Bold and Schwarz ambush Kamaura with the Drive By!"
Brad Blood: "THEY FLIPPED HIM INSIDE OUT!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Jim Jackson: "The DWMA have been eliminated!"
Brad Blood: "Hallelujah! The Rapture hasn't happened yet!"
Jim Jackson: "Goodfella PUNTS Nao Fook Mi! He quickly rolls her up!"
Brad Blood: "Wang breaks it up!"
Jim Jackson: "Bold grabs Wang, but Wang BITES him! Little Wang SUPERKICKS him in the shin!"
Brad Blood: "That took Goodfella down!"
Jim Jackson: "Bold tags Schwarz! Nao Fook Mi barely gets up, before Schwarz has her! Butterfly suplex! Rolls on top of her for the cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"
Brad Blood: "She kicks out again!"
Jim Jackson: "Schwarz...overhead belly-to-belly! Scampers on top of Nao Fook Mi for another cover!"
Brad Blood: "But she kicks out again!"
Jim Jackson: "Felix tags his partner back in. Goodfella shouting at Little Wang...bodyslams Nao Fook Mi, while Schwarz connects with a running splash!"
Brad Blood: "Schwarz leaves the ring as his partner goes for the cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"
Jim Jackson: "Nao Fook Mi won't stay down! Bold...whips her hard into the corner! But he charges into nothing but steel ringpost!"
Brad Blood: "You can hear that collision all the way up to the rafters!"
Jim Jackson: "Goodfella crumples to the mat! He's trying desperately to reach Felix Schwarz! Nao Fook Mi likewise desperate to tag Little Wang!"
Brad Blood: "Bold may have messed up his shoulder bad!"
Jim Jackson: "Bold...tags Schwarz! But Shogun rushes to the Spices' corner, and tags himself in!"
Brad Blood: "Shogun drops Felix Schwarz with a huge clothesline! Grabs him...released German suplex! Grabs him again...big back suplex!"
Jim Jackson: "Shogun looking to get even with the Age of Pain! Another German suplex, and he rolls through...he's setting up for a Demonic Sacrifice!"
Brad Blood: "Felix trying to fight his way out of it!"
Jim Jackson: "That gives Arnold Bold the opening to drop Shogun from behind! But Callahan rushes in after Goodfella!"
Brad Blood: "Shadow attacking Bold's bad shoulder!"
Jim Jackson: "Shogun and Shadow doubleteaming Arnold Bold! Tag-team doctorbomb!"
Brad Blood: "Manolo Ferrer yelling at the Anarchists from the apron!"
Jim Jackson: "Shadow rushes after him! Shogun still abusing Bold! But he ducks as Schwarz tries to attack from behind!"
Brad Blood: "He nearly hit Goodfella!"
Jim Jackson: "So Shogun hits Goodfella for him! Schwarz takes advantage of the opening!"
Brad Blood: "Callahan drills him from behind!"
Jim Jackson: "Shogun grabs Schwarz in a half-nelson! And there's the Demonic Sacrifice!"
Brad Blood: "Callahan tosses Goodfella outta the ring, RIGHT ONTO FERRER!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Jim Jackson: "The Campeones Companero have been eliminated! We're going to have new champions tonight!"
Brad Blood: "And the Anarchists look eager to flush the Spices out of the match!"
Jim Jackson: "They zerg rush Nao Fook Mi and Little Wang! Wang and Nao Fook Mi being overwhelmed by the Anarchists!"
Brad Blood: "Shadow Callahan has made it a point that he and Shogun have had whole reigns of terror elsewhere! They have made it a point to turn Allister King's life into a living hell as long as they're here in ULOL!"
Jim Jackson: "Shogun KICKS Nao Fook Mi in the face! And he draws blood!"
Brad Blood: "They're mauling BOTH members of the Oriental Spices! Gorilla press SLAM DUNKS Little Wang!"
Jim Jackson: "They just grabbed both Nao and Wang! They're not content with going after them one at a time!"
Brad Blood: "LITTLE WANG HAS A CUT!!"
Jim Jackson: "Don Q. Hotte ordering the Anarchists to pick one man and one opponent, but the Anarchists just go ahead with steamrolling the Spices!"
Brad Blood: "LITTLE WANG IS BLEEDING!!"
Jim Jackson: "Felix Schwarz trying to get back in the ring! He's mad at losing the Campeones Companero!"
Brad Blood: "Shogun and Callahan just taunting the guy! Don Q. Hotte going to Schwarz, ordering him and the Age of Pain to go back to the locker room!"
Jim Jackson: "The Age of Pain arguing with the official! What the heck"
Brad Blood: "Bakla!"
Jim Jackson: "BAKLA HIT THE RING AND DROP THE ANARCHISTS WITH STIFF BASEBALL BAT SHOTS!"
Brad Blood: "And now Bakla's bailing out before the official sees them!"
Jim Jackson: "The Anarchists are laid out! Wait, Shogun is trying to get to his feet!"
Brad Blood: "This guy is showing the willpower that helped him keep the Primo Ultimo title for months! Shogun looks ANGRY!"
Jim Jackson: "Shogun looking ready to tear someone in half DWARF STAR PRESS BY LITTLE WANG!"
Brad Blood: "HE SCORES A BULLSEYE ON SHOGUN!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "The winners of the match, and NEW Campeones Companero! The Oriental Spices!"
Jim Jackson: "...HOLY CRAP!"
Brad Blood: "I...REALLY! HOLY!"
Jim Jackson: "The Spices won! They're the new Campeones Companero!"
Brad Blood: "The team with the longest odds finally make good! This is a minor miracle!"
Jim Jackson: "The Anarchists cannot believe it! They are completely protesting the official's decision!"
Brad Blood: "Callahan just punched Don Q. Hotte! And now the Anarchists are attacking the Oriental Spices!!"
Jim Jackson: "Shogun viciously kicking at Little Wang! BUT BAKLA RUSH IN AND ATTACK THEM!"
Brad Blood: "It attack the Anarchists, chasing it out of the ring!"
Jim Jackson: "Nao Fook Mi and Little Wang may have earned the Anarchists' undying enmity, but they're the new champions! They have outlasted the Age of Pain, the Anarchists and the DWMA to come out on top of the mountain!"
Of all the things the crowd were expecting tonight, this wasn't one of them. Ryoma and Hayato walk out onto the stage as footage from a Japanese anime is shown on the Titantron, and Ima ga Sono Toki da by Ichiro Mizuki plays. Fireworks erupt from the edges of the stage, which Hayato uses to light a cigarette while Ryoma adjusts his gloves, grinning creepily as he looks around the arena. Hayato produces yet another mic out of thin air.
Hayato Tachibana: "If you don't mind, we'd like to take our proper place in this match. That is to say, standing atop a pile of our defeated opponents. In fact, even if you do mind, we're going to do it anyway."
Ryoma came prepared this time, bringing his own mic along.
Ryoma Ichimonji: "That's right, and we're gonna kick your asses, too!"
And thus they begin their charge toward the ring, ready and willing to break a bone or two and shed some blood to make up for their humiliating defeat last week.
Two whacks later, and both men lay face down on the floor. Blood trickles down the back of Hayato's head.
Arnold Bold and Felix Schwarz stand behind them, each man carrying a dented chair in his hands.
Their manager walks up behind them, looking balefully at the two fallen men at their feet. His eyes move to the new Campeones Companero, already bloodied and abused.
He taps the shoulders of his clients. Reluctantly, Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz back away.
Mr. Ferrer points harshly at the Oriental Spices, before joining his team on their way back to the locker room.A man is walking through the backstage humming out a familiar tune. At first glance, it looks like a 1985 version of Roland Orzabal. Upon further inspection, it is just Christopher Bain wearing a wig and a costume. Bob Bobbie taps Bain on the shoulder to get his attention. Bob Bobbie: "Bain? What on Earth are you wearing and why?" Christopher Bain: "Bain? I don't know who this Bain fellow is, but I am wearing these classy clothes for my performance tonight." Bob Bobbie: "Uhhh....if you aren't Bain....then who are you?" Christopher Bain: "Have you never heard of Tears for Fears? I'm Roland Orzabal, man! You know what kid, I've got something special for you." Christopher pulls a ticket stub out of his pocket and presents it to Bob. Christopher Bain: "Take this ticket, come to my performance, and let your world be subsequently rocked." Bob Bobbie: "What performance?" Christopher Bain: "You don't even know what I'm doing tonight? It's the feature of the show, baby! I'm performing "Shout" live, tonight! I just have to wait for Ian to show up." Bobbie gives Bain a confused look while taking the ticket stub. Bob Bobbie: "Yeah, sure. Have fun with that." Bobbie shakes his head and rolls his eyes as Bain walks past him. A few seconds later, a loud THUD is heard. As the camera turns to the direction the noise came from, Bain is on the ground. His muscles are twitching and his body is convulsing. Bob Bobbie runs back on frame and attempts to hold him down and stabilize him. Bob Bobbie: "I need help over here! Someone call 911! Someone get Dr. Booboo B. Gone! You! Turn off the camera, the fans don't need to be seeing this!" With that, the scene abruptly cuts off.
Last edited by The Morbidly Obese Man on Sun May 29, 2011 8:40 pm; edited 2 times in total | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Cojones Grande 05/29/2011 Sun May 29, 2011 11:33 am | |
| The scene opens with Lex Lexington standing behind the Locker Room of current Ligero Maximo title holder, Lucian Blackheart.
Lex Lexington: "Good evening folks, standing behind this door is the current reigning Ligero Maximo Champion, Lucian Blackheart. Let's see how he's feeling going into this match."
Lex Lexington knocks on the door.
Lex Lexington: "Mr. Blackheart!?"
The door swings open with nobody behind it. The lights are off, but murmuring can be heard in the background.
Lex Lexington: "Mr. Blackheart?
Lex Lexington switches on the light. Lucian Blackheart can be seen sleeping on a black suede couch in the fetal position with his thump in his mouth.
Lucian Blackheart: "No... No, stop... DADDY DON'T!!"
Lucian Blackheart rolls off the couch bumping his head on the floor instantly waking him. He clutches at his head when all of a sudden he see's Lex Lexington standing in front of him. In a rage he jumps to his feet and chases the poor interview. The camera man trips over breaking the camera, losing the feed. The scene fades to black.Alexander is walking through the backstage area, dressed to compete and probably heading to the ring, when a cameraman stops him. Deciding not to waste this opportunity, Alexander looks to shoot a pre-match promo.Alexander Conway: "I'm on my way out to the ring, to fight a man who believes himself to be something special. In reality, he is nothing special. He's simply another brick in the wall, and tonight, I'll show him his place in life."Alexander begins walking, but motions the camera to follow.Alexander Conway: "You see Lucian, I've not only beaten you before, but I've also held the Primo Ultimo Championship, and competed against heavyweights while you've been hiding behind a weight limit. Who have you beaten so far? The British Hawk? Little Wang? Nao Fook Mi? They are no where near the level that I am at. All you've done so far is win the tutorial level of the game, and now the game is thrusting you into the final level. If you're coming into this match, thinking that you actually have any chance of winning, then you are mistaken. Only a miracle will save you tonight, and unfortunately for you, God isn't in the building with us."Turning a corner, Alexander stops and looks into the camera again.Alexander Conway: "Tonight is my night. Like always, it's my time to shine. Lucian, the ground beneath you shall crumble, your world will fall to pieces before your very eyes. Don't believe me? Well, seeing is believing, and tonight I'll make you a believer."Alexander turns away from the camera and continues walking down the hall. His movements show how eager he is to add another title to his name.  VS Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a thirty minute Iron Man match and is for the ULOL Ligero Maximo title! Introducing first the challenger, Alexander Conway!""Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F blares throughtout the arena as Alexander Conway steps out from the backstage of the ULOL. He looks over the booing audience before he walks down to the ring.Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, he's your ULOL Ligero Maximo Champion, Lucian Blackheart!"The arena lights turn purple and start to flicker. "Kill Everybody by SKRILLEX" blasts through the arena speakers as the arena fills with purple smoke. Purple and white spotlights scatter around the arena and then shines on and follow Lucian Blackheart as he makes his way to the ring posing and interacting with the fans.Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! The match begins, whoever gets the most pinfalls at the end of thirty minutes will be walking out with the gold! Both men are circling the ring, waiting for the other to show an opening."Brad Blood: "Oh, that's what they are doing? I thought they were doing some weird new age dance or something."Jim Jackson: "Lucian and Alexander come in close to one another, they look like they are going to lock up. Lucian throws a wild right hand that catches Alexander! Alexander is firing back and now both men are exchanging punches!"
Brad Blood: "Lucian begins gaining the advantage, but Alexander cuts him off with a knee to the gut. Alexander lifts Lucian for a suplex, but Lucian lands on his feet and takes Conway down with the neckbreaker!"Jim Jackson: "Lucian pulls Conway off of the mat before pulling him into a standing guillotine. As he applies pressure, he also knees Conway repeatedly! Conway is taking a lot of damage, but he's able to catch one of those knees and drive Lucian back into a turnbuckle to break the guillotine!"Brad Blood: "Alexander jabs Lucian in the throat before pulling the referee away. Alexander points at another turnbuckle before turning back to Lucian and beginning an onslaught of kicks into his midsection while the referee is checking the turnbuckle. He finally turns around and begins the count."Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four..."Jim Jackson: "Alexander lets off and pulls Jack away from Lucian. Alexander talks with Jack for a moment before pointing to the ring ropes. As Jack inspects them, Alexander goes back to Lucian and begins lighting his chest up with chops. The referee hears the chops and finally looks over to begin the count."Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four..."
Brad Blood: "Alexander stops once more before the five count. But as soon as Jack stops counting, Alexander climbs onto the second rope and begins raining punches down onto Lucian's head."Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three..."
Jim Jackson: "Lucian ducks under Alexander and grabs his legs, pulling him out of the corner before slamming Alexander with the Alabama Slam! Lucian goes for the cover."
Jack B. Nimble: "One..."
Brad Blood: "That's not anywhere near enough to keep the former Primo Ultimo Champion down! Lucian gives Alexander a few good stomps before hoisting him up and slamming him to the mat with the bodyslam."Jim Jackson: "Lucian tries for an Irish whip, but Alexander turns it around and flips Lucian with the Japanese arm-drag. As Lucian gets up, he walks right into a high dropkick. Alexander goes for the back suplex, but Lucian flips over and lands on his feet before rolling Alexander up!"Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Alexander kicks out at two! A little over 7 minutes has passed so far in this contest, and neither man has gotten a point yet."
Jim Jackson: "Lucian is looking to remedy that as he goes to work on Conway. A big uppercut is followed up by a back elbow. Lucian swings around and takes Conway down with the Russian Legsweep. Instead of going for the pin attempt, Lucian climbs the turnbuckle and delivers a flying elbow drop to the fallen Conway! Now he goes for the cover."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."Brad Blood: "Alexander still kicks out though! Lucian irish whips him into the corner and charges in, but eats boot!"
Jim Jackson: "Alexander pulls himself onto the top turnbuckle before leaping and hitting Lucian with a Front Missile Dropkick! Alexander goes for the cover!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."Brad Blood: "As Lucian pops the shoulder up, Alexander isolates a leg and locks Lucian into a heel hook!"
Jim Jackson: "Lucian begins dragging Alexander towards the ropes. Alexander gives up the submission attempt and stomps Lucian's head before going for an armbar!"
Brad Blood: "But Lucian was ready for it and slips out! Lucian kicks Conway on the head with the roundhouse! DDT from Lucian! Lucian climbs the turnbuckle, but Conway pushes the referee into the ropes, causing Lucian to lose his balance and take a sick looking fall! Conway goes for the cover!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."Jim Jackson: "Lucian just barely manages to kick-out. Alexander stalks Lucian as he recovers. Alexander hits Lucian with an enziguri kick, quickly picks Lucian up, and throws him with a release German Suplex. Alexander Conway then waits for him to get back to his feet before hitting Lucian with a super kick. Conway goes for the cover off of the Signum Excellence!"Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Brad Blood: "Alexander scores the first point in this contest at the 13 minute mark. The ref resets the fighters and this match continues."
Jim Jackson: "Alexander shoots for Lucian's leg, but Lucian catches him with a quick knee that stuns him! Lucian grabs Conway and forces him into the corner before hitting him with a frenzy of knees!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four! Fi..."
Brad Blood: "Lucian uses as much of the five count as he can before stepping away from Conway. Lucian soon moves back in and lifts Conway onto the turnbuckle. Lucian also climbs up."Jim Jackson: "Lucian is looking for the superplex, but Conway is hanging on for dear life! Conway hits Lucian with an elbow before laying into him with the punches, but Lucian stops Conway's resistance with a thumb to the eye! Lucian gives Conway a few punches before trying for the superplex again. He gets it! Lucian goes for the cover!"Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."Brad Blood: "I don't know how, but Conway manages to remain in the lead. Lucian irish whips Conway into the ropes, but telegraphs the back body drop attempt and gets a kick to the face!"Jim Jackson: "Lucian stumbles back into the ropes. Conway's looking for the clothesline, but Lucian back body drops him over the ropes and on to the floor!"Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four!"Brad Blood: "Lucian sees Conway recovering and goes for the baseball slide, but Conway avoids it! Conway throws a wild right, but Lucian ducks it before pushing Conway back into the steel steps!"
Jim Jackson: "Lucian rolls Conway into the ring before following him in. Lucian drops an elbow before going for the cover."Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Again, Conway kicks out. Lucian lifts Conway for a bodyslam, but Alexander slips down and drops Lucian with a reverse DDT."Brad Blood: "Conway looks to be going for a German Suplex, but Lucian fights him off with elbows to the temple. Lucian turns around and kicks Alexander in the stomach then does a 180 degree spin and a backflip kick to Conway's face. Lucian Blackheart then proceeds to place Alexander into a modified triangle choke position! He's got Conway locked into the Roll of Fate!"Jim Jackson: "Conway yells out no to the ref! He's looking for an escape but can't see any. He looks at the time remaining in this match before tapping out! We're now tied at 1-1!"
Brad Blood: "It looks like Conway chose to save as much of his energy as he could when he saw the position he was in. The referee is now resetting the fighters and the match can continue once again."
Jim Jackson: "Conway kicks Lucian in the gut before pulling him into a headlock. Lucian is quick to push Conway off and into the ropes. As Conway comes back he jumps and hits Lucian with a forearm! Conway bounces off the ropes and hits Lucian with a second jumping forearm!"
Brad Blood: "Conway bounces off the ropes again. Lucian goes for a clothesline, but Conway ducks it, bounces off the other set of ropes, and hits Lucian with the running calf kick! Conway goes for the cover!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."Jim Jackson: "But Lucian kicks out at two. Alexander irish whips Lucian into the ropes and hits him with the back elbow! Conway grabs Lucian's legs and pulls him towards the corner before catapulting him into it! Wait, Lucian landed onto the second rope. Springboard crossbody from Lucian!"Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."
Brad Blood: "Lucian almost caught Alexander there. A jawbreaker from Alexander is followed up with a neckbreaker. Conway lifts Lucian into a suplex, but Lucian counters it into a small package!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."
Jim Jackson: "Again Conway kicks out after being caught by surprise. Lucian lifts Conway into a fireman's carry, but Conway slips down his back before pushing him chest first into the turnbuckle! As Lucian bounces out, Conway hits a bridging German Suplex!"Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."Brad Blood: "Oh, I thought Conway had him there! Lucian jabs the throat of Conway before taking him down with the side suplex. Lucian pulls Conway up and whips him into the turnbuckle."
Jim Jackson: "Lucian charges in, but Conway charges out and hits him with a clothesline! As Lucian gets back up, he's hit with another clothesline! Lucian charges Conway, but a droptoe hold sends Lucian face first into the turnbuckles!"
Brad Blood: "Conway wants to go at Lucian but the referee restrains him. Lucian loosens a turnbuckle pad as the referee comes to check on him. As the referee fixes the pad, Lucian kicks Conway inbetween the legs!"
Jim Jackson: "What an underhanded move! Lucian hits a bridging fishermen's suplex as the ref turns around!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."Jim Jackson: "We've seen near fall after near fall in this contest, and it's starting to frustrate Lucian. Lucian begins putting the boots to Conway before going to the knee drop. Lucian pulls Conway off the mat and hits the rude awakening. Lucian goes for another cover."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Conway kicks out once more. Lucian kicks Conway in the face before climbing the turnbuckle. He goes for a flying legdrop, but nobody's home!"
Jim Jackson: "This is the opening Conway needed. Conway catches Lucian with a running knee before pulling himself up the turnbuckle. As Lucian gets up, Alexander catches him with a flying enziguri! Alexander goes for a cover!"Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr...!"
Brad Blood: "Lucian somehow manages to keep Alexander from taking the lead! Now it's Conway's turn to be frustrated."Jim Jackson: "Conway lifts Lucian up and drops him throat first onto the ropes! Conway follows that up with the vertical suplex. Conway is again going to the top rope....Diving Knee Drop! There's the cover!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"Brad Blood: "No wait! Lucian's foot was on the bottom rope! Conway didn't get the pin! Conway is pissed at the ref's call, but unfortunately for him, it was the right call."
Jim Jackson: "Conway is again climbing the turnbuckle. He's taking a lot of risks tonight. Conway goes for the frog splash but Lucian rolls out of the way!"Brad Blood: "It looks like Conway took one risk too many."Jim Jackson: "Lucian rolls Conway into another small package!"Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three..."
Brad Blood: "What?! How close was that? Conway just barely managed the kick out there and Lucian's frustrations build!"Jim Jackson: "Lucian again loosens the turnbuckle pad before the referee stops him. While the referee is distracted, Lucian pulls out a pair of brass knuckles from his tights! He goes for the punch but Conway sidesteps and forces Lucian to the ground, catches the arm in a leg scissor and then locks his hands over Lucian's face before pulling Lucian's head backwards!"Brad Blood: "Oh boy, The Prophecy is locked in tight! The referee asks Lucian if he wants to tap, but Lucian says no! He's screaming out in pain, but he's refusing to give Alexander the lead!"Jim Jackson: "Lucian may have to, he's in the center of the ring with nowhere to go. He's trying to pull Conway to the ropes, but he just doesn't have the energy left to do it! The referee again asks Lucian if he would like to tap, but Lucian refuses!"Brad Blood: "I don't think Lucian can hold on much longer, Jim. Conway is really applying the pressure."Jim Jackson: "Lucian's hand is hovering above the mat. Will he tap? He's holding on....oh, and he taps! The pain was just too much for him to bear! Conway is now in the lead 2-1 with only 4 minutes remaining in this contest. Conway removes the brass knuckles from Lucian and tosses them from the ring without the referee noticing."
Brad Blood: "The match continues as the referee resets the two wrestlers. It's do or die time for Lucian."Jim Jackson: "If he wants to retain his title, he has to at least tie with Alexander. Blackheart hits Conway with the dropkick before catching him with a running elbow. A backbreaker from Lucian is followed up with a neckbreaker. Lucian goes for the cover!"Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Conway kicks out at two. As he gets to his feet, Lucian catches him with another dropkick that sends him out of the ring! Bad move by Lucian, as he'll now have to waste time bringing Conway back in."Jim Jackson: "Lucian rolls out, but Conway slams his head off of the apron before rolling him right back into the ring. Conway comes back into the ring and kicks Lucian in the face as if he were kicking a soccerball for the game winning goal! Conway goes for the cover!"Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Lucian doesn't allow Conway to make the score be 3-1. Conway stands behind Lucian and wraps an arm around Lucian's neck before kicking the back of Lucian's knee, sending Lucian to his knees and allowing Conway to lock in a modified Dragon Sleeper!"Jim Jackson: "Lucian is quick to get back to his feet though, and even forces Conway into the air before driving him down with the powerslam! Lucian goes for the cover with just under 2 minutes remaining on the clock!"Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."Brad Blood: "Conway kicks out! Lucian takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker before going for another cover."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."Brad Blood: "Conway kicks out again! Lucian is beside himself! He yanks Conway up, but Conway catches him with a knee to the gut before hitting him with a european uppercut. Conway with the snap suplex."
Jim Jackson: "Conway is climbing to the top turnbuckle, he wants to make a lasting impression here, but Lucian rolls away from the turnbuckle, causing Conway to hop off and pursue him. Lucian goes for a clothesline, but Conway ducks him and lifts for a back suplex, but Lucian flips behind him. Lucian runs to the ropes and then springboards off the second rope and kicks Alexander in the temple! Four of a Kind with 15 seconds left on the clock! Lucian scrambles onto Alexander for the cover!"Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three..."Brad Blood: "HOW! How did Alexander manage to get his foot onto the bottom rope?!"Jim Jackson: "Lucian wastes precious seconds arguing with the referee before pulling Alexander away from the ropes and going for another pin attempt."Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."Brad Blood: "Alexander kicks out as the bell rings! Alexander wins 2-1! He's our new ULOL Ligero Maximo Champion!"Jim Jackson: "Lucian is furious! He's arguing with the referee right now as Alexander rolls out of the ring and out of harms way. What a match! Both men gave it their all and took each other to the limit, but it was Alexander who managed to walk out the victor on this night!"The scene opens with footage of an unidentified door somewhere in the backstage area. The camera approaches the door and a cameraman's hand enters the frame to try and open it. The cameraman rattles the doorknob but it is locked. Suddenly a booming laugh echoes through the hallway and scares the cameraman away from the door. The cameraman turns to look behind him and a fellow crew member is seen holding a large furry microphone. The cameraman talks to his audioman in a hushed voice.
Cameraman: "It's locked! See if you can hear anything!"
Audioman: "Me? Why can't you do it?"
Cameraman: "Just get by that door will you!! We're live on air!!!"
Audioman: "Alright alright!"
The audioman approaches the door and places the microphone near the door. Voices can be heard coming from inside. The voice that can be heard is clearly Zombie's voice. The audioman gives the cameraman a thumbs up.
Zombie: "... a posies atishoo atishoo .... we all ..."
???: "No please!"
Zombie: "... fall ..."
???: "Don't ..."
Zombie: "... DOWN!!!"
A loud scream suddenly comes from inside and cries of pain ring through the hallway. Zombie laughs sadistically and there are bangs on the door coming from inside. The audioman drops his microphone accidentally in shock. Zombie speaks to the two men from inside.
Zombie: "I know there's someone out there! You better get lost before you get hurt as well!!"
The audioman quickly picks up his microphone and makes a run for it. Suddenly the door opens and Zombie is standing in the doorway looking straight at the camera. He lunges for the cameraman but the man quickly dodges and drops the camera in the process. As the camera drops to the floor the transmission cuts out.COMING SOON!!! UNITED LEAGUE OF LUNATICS ON THE ROAD!!!
THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS! STARTING NEXT MONTH YOUR FAVORITE ULOL STARS SHALL BE COMING TO YOU!
WATCH OUT FOR THEM AS UNITED LEAGUE OF LUNATICS HITS THE ROAD IN THE MADNESS IN THE STREETS TOUR!Featuring: Allister King, Bo Hetfield, Leon Hinomoto, Musashi Kuruma, Ray Kamaura, Shadow Callahan, Shogun, Taufik, The Morbidly Obese Man, The Masked Man, Tonelada, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson, William LaCroix, Yuki Monotomo, Zombie, AJ, Alexander Conway, Arnold "GoodFella" Bold, Boy Bakla, Christopher Bain, Felix Schwarz, John "Grey Skull" Johnson, Lady Bianca de Sade, Little Wang, Lucian Blackheart, Nao Fook Mi, Raven Connoly, Samantha Collins, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing, The British Hawk, Summer Bold and Manolo Ferrer.
CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS TO SEE IF ULOL WILL BE KNOCKING AT YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD! | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Cojones Grande 05/29/2011 Sun May 29, 2011 11:33 am | |
| The scene begins in the Morbidly Unstoppable locker room where the massive mega weighted wrestler known as The Morbidly Obese Man is seen sitting down on a clearly out of shape bench eating a humongous hero sandwich. He takes his time to chew and swallow it before addressing his partner who is at that moment changing into his wrestling attire.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "So this is IT!!! You'll be taking on Zombie tonight... In a Texas Death match too, you'll have your hands full tonight Johnson... But don'tcha worry, I have your back tonight... Of course once you win the title, I expect a title shot."
A grin appears on the face of The Morbidly Obese Man.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "I'm sure Zombie is pretty distracted too tonight, with that Chriso character and Q in the building gunning for him, the time couldn't be riper to take that title away from him. It's his fault for gaining so much enemies... But who are we to complain right Johnson?"
The big man takes another bite from his sandwich and waits for his partner to respond.UJJ just grins as he replies.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Even without enemies, I'll be defeating Zombie tonight. Lard Ass I've never felt so sure, so confident in my career."
UJJ walks over to his partner and taps him on the back.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Don't worry you will get your title shot. But listen, only come out if you feel that I'm taking a beating. So basically, don't come out at all. If Q or that new dude come out, I'll let them know how much of a mistake they would have made."
UJJ walks over to the wall and leans against it.A grin appears on the face of The Morbidly Obese Man...
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Don't you worry Johnson, I'll watch your back... You won't need to worry about me costing you the match... As for Q and Chriso... I think Zombie has more to worry than you, besides it's a Texas Deathmatch, there is no DQ. I doubt if you really need to worry about anything at all."
The big man looks at the clock...
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Well Johnson, it looks like it's almost time for your match... You go on ahead... I will follow shortly... Good luck..."
The big man offers his hand to "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson.UJJ leans towards the monstrous hand and shakes it. UJJ heads towards the door.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "After tonight Morbidly Unstoppable will have championship gold once again. Then we turn our attentions to winning the ULOL Campeónes Compañero once again. Morbidly Unstoppable will rule ULOL with an Iron Fist and an Iron stomach."
UJJ walks out the door and goes towards the ring area as the scene fades to black.  VS Jim Jackson: "Here we are with the main event of the evening! We have a match between two titans here in ULOL. Can "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson finally manage to win the title he covets but eluded him or will Zombie retain and continue his reign of terror?"
Brad Blood: "Well Zombie has people gunning after him left and right. He has painted a target on his back and everyone wants to take a shot."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Texas Deathmatch and is for the ULOL Primo Ultimo title! Introducing first, he is the current and reigning ULOL Ultimo Primo, Zombie!"
Jim Jackson: "Well ladies and gentlemen we’re onto our last match of the evening. And for some reason a table has been set in the middle of the ring and there’s something under a white cloth. I can only assume it has something to do with our Primo Ultimo Championship match."
Brad Blood: "Well of course it is! And it’s a red cloth Jim not white! You should get your eyes tested!"
Jim Jackson: "Well it was white when it came out here! In fact I can still see from here that there are white bits!"
Brad Blood: "Oh really? I think you need your eyes tested!"
"Creeping Death" by Metallica starts to blast through the arena and Zombie appears at the top of the ramp with his cardboard title in his right hand. He makes his way down to the ring grinning menacingly at the crowd. He rolls under the ropes to enter the ring and gets up onto one knee. Zombie watches the now red cloth and licks his lips.
Jim Jackson: "The Primo Ultimo Champion now in the ring and he seems to be watching the mystery object that is under the er… supposedly red cloth!"
Brad Blood: "What do you mean supposedly? Oh wait a minute!"
Zombie: "Almost two weeks ago Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing stole the Primo Ultimo title belt and decided to shove it into an industrial shredder. I was told that Q was going to be fined for the price of a new one. Nothing has come to be yet! And I expect no less from that man! But then "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson had said that he wanted a new belt by the time he loses to me tonight and that got me to thinking."
Zombie slowly wanders over to the table.
Zombie: "Now I know each of you saw the footage at the beginning of the show! You all enjoy a nursery rhyme don’t you? Well so do Q’s people!"
The crowd starts to boo and Zombie chuckles.
Zombie: "The poor bastard died though through a rowdy and rather rough rendition of Jack and Jill!"
Zombie grins as the crowd boos louder
Zombie: "I told him that I had a use for him! And I’m sure he will be proud to be the new …"
Zombie removes the cloth covering the object. Underneath is what looks like a championship belt. It is soaked in blood and looks very moist.
Zombie: "… Primo Ultimo Championship belt!!!"
Zombie lifts the new belt and holds it up to the camera.
Zombie: "This Primo Ultimo belt is made from the villager’s flesh, bone and organs! Take a good look!!!"
The front of the belt is mainly constructed from the bone. In the middle is the heart of the villager. The bone and heart are sewn into place onto a belt shaped piece of skin. The entire belt is made from the villager of Q’s homeland. Some of the crowd gasps at the sight.
Jim Jackson: "My god! That is absolutely barbaric and disgusting!"
Zombie: "So now officially we have a new belt courtesy of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing! And now Jack Johnson’s wish has come true! The perfect belt for the best wrestler in this whole company! ME!!!"
The crowd jeers loudly. Zombie holds the belt aloft in the air and tilts his head back as he allows blood to drip from the belt and into his mouth.
Brad Blood: "Zombie now taking his war with Q to the next level! I guess Allister King’s cardboard belt wasn’t good enough!"
Jim Jackson: "I fear that this is taking it too far!"
Zombie looks to the crowd again and continues to hold the new Primo Ultimo belt in the air. He climbs the turnbuckle still with the “Undead” Primo Ultimo title belt aloft. Zombie then roars at crowd and looks to the entrance ramp when “Unstoppable” Jack Johnson’s music starts to play.
"Simply Unstoppable [Yes Rock Remix]" by Tinie Tempah starts blaring over the arena. The fans start cheering even louder as a spark shower begins to fall underneath the titantron. After a few seconds, 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson jogs through the sparks and stops at the top of the ramp. He is wearing his wrestling attire. He scouts the entire arena. Before walking down. He tags a few hands of the fans and rolls into the ring.
Jasmine Lee: "And introducing the challenger, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson!"
Jim Jackson: "And here comes "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson! Hopefully he will deal out some much needed justice after what has gone on here tonight!!"
Brad Blood: "That new Primo Ultimo belt is awesomely gruesome!"
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for tonight is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Both wrestlers circle each other cautiously... "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson lunges forward! Intercepted by Zombie! Drop-toe hold onto a upright chair by Zombie. Big clothesline from Zombie! Pin!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Only a two count! The match continues. Zombie applies a sleeper... UJJ counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. UJJ goes on the offensive!"
Jim Jackson: ""Unstoppable" Jack Johnson uses a forearm to the face. Bodyslam on Zombie! Zombie gets back up... Spear by "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson! That almost broke Zombie in half! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson is not done yet... He picks Zombie up and hits a series of rolling German suplexes! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! FIVE GERMAN SUPLEXES!!! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson hooks the leg!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Brad Blood: "UJJ gets the first pinfall! The ref now has to count to ten! Will Zombie stay down?"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four..."
Jim Jackson: "Zombie gets up! Still to soon to count him out..."
Brad Blood: "Zombie eats a trash can! UJJ stuff Zombie into the trash can... He takes a bat and starts smashing it into the trash can with Zombie in it! Pin by UJJ..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Zombie gets out of the pin! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson looks shocked! Big clothesline on Zombie. Irish whip sends Zombie to the corner... Zombie counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Powerslam from Zombie. Zombie grabs a steel chair..."
Brad Blood: "HE WHACKS THE STEEL CHAIR INTO UJJ'S SKULL MULTIPLE TIMES!!! UJJ is twitching on the canvas... Zombie for the pin..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Jim Jackson: "Zombie gets the three count! The ref begins the ten count..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five..."
Brad Blood: "UJJ gets back to his feet at five! Death valley driver by Zombie on the steel chair! UJJ is not moving! Zombie for the cover!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Jim Jackson: "Zombie gets another three count! Things are not looking good for "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Ei..."
Brad Blood: "UJJ gets back to his feet but it is clear that he is hurting... Zombie continues his onslaught and hits a delayed hangman neckbreaker on UJJ! big clothesline by Zombie sends UJJ over the top rope! Zombie follows outside... He sets up a table... Zombie sets UJJ up on top of the table... UJJ backdrops Zombie out of a piledriver attempt! Zombie just crashed through the table!"
Jim Jackson: "This could be "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson's chance to turn things around. He sets up another table... He powerbombs Zombie through it! Cover!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Brad Blood: "UJJ gets the pinfall! Will Zombie stay down?"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven..."
Jim Jackson: "The champ and the challenger start brawling outside the ring... Zombie with the ring bell slams it into "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson's head... Irish whip by Zombie..."
Brad Blood: "Reversed by UJJ! Zombie gets sent to the steel railings! UJJ with a clothesline... Zombie dodges and fires up some huge rights! Both wrestlers start brawling up the steel entrance ramp... Zombie gets a huge uppercut in... He picks UJJ up..."
Jim Jackson: "Scoop slam into the steel entrance ramp! That has got to hurt! Zombie picks UJJ up again... Fallaway slam into the unforgiving steel! Zombie hooks the leg!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Brad Blood: "Zombie gets the three count! The referee begins the ten count..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight..."
Jim Jackson: "The champ looks surprised that "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson got up from that one... Zombie throws a big right... Dodged by "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson who starts throwing chop after chop sending Zombie back up the ramp... They are heading backstage!"
Brad Blood: "Zombie dodges a clothesline attempt... UJJ charges at Zombie... Right into a spinebuster to the unprotected concrete! Zombie looks over and sees a huge crate... He lifts the crate up... UJJ WITH A LOW BLOW!!! THE CRATE FALLS ON ZOMBIE'S HEAD! It seems that even though he is dead he still feels pain down there..."
Jim Jackson: "Zombie staggers away as "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson gives chase... They head into the hallways... Zombie stumbles forward... INTO CHRISO!!! Zombie screwed Chriso out of a win in our dark match earlier, Chriso is out for revenge! Irish whip by Chriso on Zombie to the vending machine... NO! ZOMBIE REVERSES AND CHRISO SLAMS INTO THE VENDING MACHINE INSTEAD!"
Brad Blood: "Oh man, that didn't work out for Chriso... UJJ comes rushing in with a fire extinguisher... Zombie dodges it just in time! Zombie wrests the fire extinguisher from UJJ... HE SLAMS THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER INTO UJJ'S FOREHEAD! UJJ GOES DOWN! Zombie poises above UJJ with the fire extinguisher... He's gonna bring it back down again... NO WAIT!!! IT'S THE MORBIDLY OBESE MAN!!! UJJ'S PARTNER TAKES THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER AWAY AND SLAMS IT INTO ZOMBIE'S GUT! TMOM USES THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER ON ZOMBIE'S FACE BLINDING HIM!!!"
Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man picks his partner up and shakes him awake... "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson thanks his partner and takes Zombie down with an arm drag! The challenger charges in and knocks Zombie down with a shoulder block! Zombie scampers away again!"
Brad Blood: "This time Zombie exits the building and heads to the parking lot with UJJ in hot pursuit! UJJ grabs Zombie and picks him up on his shoulders... Fireman carry into a hood of a sedan! UJJ climbs up the hood and sets Zombie up for a facebuster..."
Jim Jackson: "Zombie counters with a back body drop sending "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson off the car into the concrete floor! Zombie grabs "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson... HE SMASHES HIM INTO A CAR WINDOW!!! Zombie grabs "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson by the ears and powerfully headbutts "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson executing Deadbutt! If Zombie gets a pin this may be over..."
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!
Brad Blood: "WAIT!!! A HUMMER JUST RAN ZOMBIE OVER!!! IT'S QUIOAECAOPEDIDWAZHAPZHING!!! Q JUST RAN ZOMBIE OVER WITH A HUMMER!!! AND HE BACKS UP INTO ZOMBIE AGAIN! Q ROLLS DOWN THE WINDOW AND GIVES ZOMBIE THE FINGER BEFORE DRIVING OFF TO THE NIGHT!!! ZOMBIE IS A BROKEN MASS OF FLESH AND BONES!!! Even with his restorative powers it will take a while for him to get back on his feet..."
Jim Jackson: "The challenger crawls towards Zombie... He drapes a hand over Zombie..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Brad Blood: "UJJ gets the pinfall! This could be it!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and NEW ULOL Primo Ultimo, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson!"
Jim Jackson: "WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION! Zombie has been dethroned!"
Brad Blood: "What a match! What a match! UJJ clutches the belt on his chest before realizing what it is made of and throwing it to the ground again! I think UJJ will be asking for a new belt... TMOM has joined UJJ in the parking lot and starts celebrating with him as EMTs cart Zombie away..."Jim Jackson: "What a PPV! We had three titles changing hands tonight including the Ligero Maximo, the Campeónes Compañero and the Primo Ultimo!"
Brad Blood: "I know! Plus Zombie got run over twice by Q! Even with his regenerative powers it will take him a while to be back in ring shape... This PPV will be talked about for years to come!"
Jim Jackson: "We've also just received word folks that Stephen Dawson has snapped and kidnapped Stank Lord... A message was left in Stank Lord's locker room..."
Brad Blood: "Looks like Stephen has had enough abuse and now plans to do the abusing... I wonder where they are?"
Jim Jackson: "That's not really important, at least we now don't have to breathe in foul air in the building. Stephen can keep Stank Lord. Anyway, that's all the time we have for tonight, remember, next week ULOL goes on the road! Until next week, this is Jim Jackson signing off!"
Brad Blood: "And this is Brad Blood saying good night folks!" | |
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