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 Ole! Ole! Ole! OLE! (The oles lied! El Generico is nowhere in the building!) 08/28/2011

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PostSubject: Ole! Ole! Ole! OLE! (The oles lied! El Generico is nowhere in the building!) 08/28/2011   Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:52 am

&

/W

VS

&

Jim Jackson: "We have a special treat tonight for everyone watching live. A dark match between two of ULOL's newly formed tag teams."

Brad Blood: "Yeah, too bad the viewers at home won't be able to see this match."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a tag team match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, the team of Allister King and Shadow Callahan, accompanied by Samantha King, let us welcome The Northern Kings!"

Blue and Red lights shine throughout the arena as Edguy's Robin Hood begins to play. Allister King and Shadow Callahan, accompanied by Samantha King, walk out onto the entrance ramp to a thunderous roar of the crowd. They pose on the top of the ramp as white pyrotechnics begin to rain down behind them. They continue to walk down to the ring, smiling to the crowd. Allister high fives a few off the audience members before sliding into the ring. Shadow and Samantha just casually walk up the steps and into the ring. They poses once more for the crowd, before grabbing a microphone.

Allister howls like a coyote.

Allister King: "Hail to the kings!"

The crowd cheer.s

Allister King: "Oh how the mighty have fallen. Proclaiming yourself as gods and then losing the very thing that they claim to give them their so called divine powers. boo hoo, poor little dwma, you have just proved that it was a fluke after all."

The crowd cheers.

Allister King: "Well screw them anyway. I guess we should be taking about this match instead. We are in a tag team match against brostar and fettel marston. We have Samantha here who won't get involved in the match but I'm not sure about this dad fellow. Bloo Blah Blah Bloo Bee Bloo!"

Shadow and Samantha both look at Allister with a strange look on their faces, kinda like they are trying to say ''Say Whaaa?''

Allister King: 'Sorry I was just being an idiot."

The crowd laugh.

Allister King: "Shad! Your turn!"

Allister throws the microphone towards Shadow

Shadow Callahan: "Well ahh what to say? How ya doing? I'm not really good at these sort of things. Ahhh."

Shadow hands the microphone to Samantha

Samantha King: "Well, Brostar is proclaimed throughout the United League of Lunatics as ''The Ultimate Jobber'' or ''Jobber Extraordinaire'' and today the Northern Kings will debut as a tag team and we will be victorious."

Allister is handed back the microphone

Allister King: "HAIL!!"

Crowd shouts ''To the Kings!!''

Allister throws the microphone out of the ring before The Northern Kings takes off all excessive attire before heading to the corner."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, the team of Brostar and Fettel Marston, Brostar and Marston!"

"The Devil's Own" by Five Finger Death Punch plays as Fettel Marston appears waving to the crowd. He walks down to the ring slapping fans' hands as he goes. He slides under the bottom rope to the enter the ring and proceeds to climb a turnbuckle where he poses by flexing his muscles. He walks over to another turnbuckle on the opposite side and this time poses by simply raising his arms in the air. He jumps down from the turnbuckle and turns to face The Northen Kings. The excitable Fettel Marston grabs a microphone and smiles at the two opponents he faces. It is clear that it is Fettel smiling.

Fettel Marston: "Dad has said that because this is in the ring and as he has promised he left me do EVERYTHING in this ring! And that includes the talking in the few moments before this match! But I press on!! Look people of ULOL it's The Northen Kings!!!"

The crowd cheers as Fettel points to the men in the opposite corner. His smile falls as he continues.

Fettel Marston: "But north always has a south! And THAT is where you two will be heading once this match gets started! Don't get me wrong you seem like good guys but your in the way of my championship gold!"

Fettel drops the microphone and starts to limber up for the match as they all wait for Brostar.

"Show Goes On" by Lupe Fiasco plays as Brostar appears onto stage he raises his hands as the crowd cheer him, he runs down the ramp and slides into the ring he grabs a mic and begins to speaks.

Brostar: "Allister and Shadow, you might be good wrestlers in the ring you might even be a good team but I tell, you are stepping in the ring with two guys that can make sure the crowd get what they want and that is a good and exciting match."

The Crowd gave a little cheer.

Brostar: "But in a few minutes no matter what happens, no matter what you do and no matter how you do, we will beat you two one hundred percent and we will not give up no matter what happens."

He finishes as he backs into his corner with Fettel.

Jasmine Lee: “The referee for this match will be Sully S. Callawag! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!!!”

Jim Jackson: “Welcome ladies and gentlemen! We are but a few minutes away from our main PPV “Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole!” But first we have some tag team action to start getting you all in the mood! As you saw the competitors exchanging a few words! All with some sort of a respect for one another! Brostar starting in this one along with Allister King! Both wrestlers tangle it up to kick this one off!”

Brad Blood: “I think King is hoping to finish this one early! Saw Brostar was starting and leapt in!! King comes out on top, maneuvers Brostar around and slams him down to the mat with a suplex!! King not letting up his offense as he drives several knees to the body of the grounded Brostar!”

Jim Jackson: “A win here tonight will mean some sort of a rise in the ranks and straight for Tag Team gold!! King bringing Brostar to his feet and irish whips him into The Northern Kings corner!!”

Brad Blood: “They got him isolated in their corner!! King brings a boot up to the chin of Brostar and begins to put pressure on his neck! Choking Brostar and hoping to drown the life from him! The referee forcing King away!! The referee giving King a stern word but Callahan taking advantage of the referees turned back!! Callahan continuing to choke Brostar using the ropes in the corner! Callahan releases his hold and finishes his illegal attack with a hard punch right to the face!!”

Jim Jackson: “Brostar now lifeless on the ropes and King tags out to Callahan! Both men irish whip Brostar and he spins in the air from a huge double clothesline! Brostar not looking good as The Northern Kings continue their dominance!! Callahan now brings Brostar back into that corner!! Keeping him isolated from his partner, Fettel Marston! This time picking Brostar up and sitting him on the top turnbuckle!! Callahan must be looking to try to finish this one early! Callahan stepping up on the turnbuckle as well! I think he’s attempting a superplex!!”

Brad Blood: “But Brostar is putting up a fight! Slamming Callahan with a series of punches! And he finally pushes Callhan off the top turnbuckle and Callahan crashes down to the canvas!! Brostar though realizing he’s in that corner with King!! King grabs at Brostar’s leg to try and bring him down as well! But he gets met with a roundhouse kick right to the face!! Which sends King crashing down off the apron and to the outside just in front of us!!”

Jim Jackson: “Brostar looking good now as he looks to deal out more damage! Looking to the grounded Callahan he makes his move!! Leaping, he lands a big time frog splash!! Brostar with the shoulders down!!”

Sully S. Callawag: “One! Two!! Thr…”

Jim Jackson: “SO close but no cigar as Callahan kicks out!! Brostar now looks to Fettel! The only fresh man in this matchup! Fettel with his arm outstretched wanting the tag!! He needs to capitalize on this!! Brostar makes the tag!! And Fettel with adrenaline pumping through his body, he enters into the ring!! He goes straight for the recovering Allister King and dropkicks him to the face!! King on the floor out here again!”

Brad Blood: “Fettel Marston is capitalizing! He seems confident for a big move as he waits for Callahan to get to his feet! I think he’s attempting Mind Trouble! His finishing move!! Will we see it for the first time?”

Jim Jackson: “Fettel Marston sprinting for Callahan! But Callahan ducks and Marston with momentum is left to gravity as he crashes awkwardly into the ropes! Callahan taking advantage and sends a boot to the gut of Marston! Callahan picks him up in for the powerbomb position! And he slams Marston viciously down onto the mat neck first!!”

Brad Blood: “Did we just a glimpse of the old Shadow Callahan?”

Jim Jackson: “Callahan has the shoulders down!! This must be it!! Brostar looks about ready to break up the pin!! But King intercepts with a huge bicycle kick right to the face!! A bit of a vengeance on Brostar there!!”

Sully S. Callawag: “One! Two!! Three!!!”

Jasmine Lee: “The winners of this match up, via pinfall they are The Northern Kings Allister King and Shadow Callahan!!”

Brad Blood: “A good win and deservedly so! On to championship gold!!”

Jim Jackson: “Well I don’t think that would happen straight away! But as regards to Fettel Marston, I think he was a bit too eager to finish the match off! He still has a long way to go before he can even think of championship gold! This time it was he who let Brostar down!”






Jim Jackson: “Good evening and welcome folks to United League of Lunatics presents "Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! (The oles lied! El Generico is nowhere in the building!)" pay-per-view! And though El Generico is not in the building, we still have an awesome show for everyone watching tonight.”

Brad Blood: “That's right. What a show we have this evening, we kick things off with a match between Colton Charles Cai Cobb and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson, then a three-way triangle match to become the number one contender for the ULOL Ligero Maximo between three of ULOL's top lightweights. Then a four-way elimination match for the women's title, followed by a three versus three elimination tag match for the Correa Grande del Oro! But that's not all. We also have Jim Rival going against Shogun and for the main event, Alexander Conway will be taking on Q for the ULOL Primo Ultimo title!”

Jim Jackson: “You said it Brad, with a card like that how can the fans be not excited? So without further ado, lets get this pay-per-view started! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!”






The scene fades into the ULOL backstage interview area. The person in charge of getting the pre-match thoughts stands with his cameraman by his side. Eagerly, he looks up and down the hallway as if he is looking for someone in particular. His face lights up and a smile appears as he orders his cameraman to start recording. The scene switches to the cameraman's view. The man that Lex has been waiting for is none other than 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson.

Lex clears his throat and readies his microphone. But before he can start this segment, 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson walks by. His face says it all, he doesn't care. Tonight is his last night in the ULOL and his last match isn't the one he wanted. Instead he is facing the Justin Beiber of wrestling, who's attempting to make a name for himself.

Lex calls Jack and waves. But UJJ doesn't look back, he just keeps walking and makes a right turn. He walks into the entrance area as the view switches back to an embarrassed Lex, who immediately covers up the camera as the scene fades to black.






Quote :
Shogun: "Forgive me..I let myself get sidetracked again. Alexander Conway lost to me two weeks ago. Tonight he is going to lose once again. When he does the match of the century will be on! The one everyone has been asking for. The match that will finally decide whether or not I am full of shit or if Q is the paper champion I say he is. The match that will sway the chips out of Marcus Troy`s hands and into the hands of wrestlers who want to wrestle!"

Shogun: "When I win my third Primo Ultimo championship from that Tarzan wannabe the first step in booting Troy out of power will be taken. And I DARE you to try and stop me. Send Jim Rival out fifteen more times if you want to! I will not be denied! I won that belt twice now and I will win it for the THIRD time at the pay per view. Mark my words, I will be the next Primo Ultimo champion even if I have to fight through the entire roster to win it! Even if I have to fight until my career ends in the middle of that ring I will take that title away from Q and Marcus Troy! The devil himself will not be able to stand in my way! "

Shogun's promo is abruptly pulled away in a crumpled handful of Kleenex. Nurse Emma Enema blows her nose into her soft tissue, before dropping the snot-filled wad into the bin. A droning voice on her radio is the only other thing making noise in the infirmary.

Voice On Radio: "...the fact that Kamaura's friends wouldn't piss on him when he was on fire means they valued their urine more than their friend. I wouldn't piss on him, either."

Nurse Enema then notices she's not alone.

Emma Enema: "Oh! Do you need me for a promo?"

The clip cuts out abruptly.






Lex Lexington fidgets uneasily when he saw his target interview walk into view. The wrestler who is making waves recently, Colton Charles Cai Cobb strolls into his sight with an air of arrogance. The backstage interviewer cautiously approaches the charismatic crippler.

Lex Lexington: "Excuse me Mr. Cobb but may I have a few words?"

Colton Charles Cai Cobb ignores Lex Lexington and walks past him. He then stops and turns around.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "You know what? Tonight, I shall grant you the privilege to ask me some of your silly questions. Be thankful for my generosity for it is not everyday that you get to stand in the same space as me and address me."

Lex Lexington nods as a smile spreads across his lips.

Lex Lexington: "Thank you Mr. Cobb. As the time for your match with "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson draws close, do you have any worries? He is a former ULOL Primo Ultimo and also former one half of the team which held the ULOL Campeónes Compañero. You have not faced an opponent of this caliber yet in ULOL."

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Worries? My dear boy, I am not worried at all at "Unstoppable" *snicker* Jack Johnson. While it is true that he held those titles in the past, he isn't holding it now ain't he? Which tells us all one thing. He lost! Just as he will lose tonight to me. You see this man thinks the world revolves around him, but it doesn't, the world revolves around ME! And tonight I shall show the world how to stop the supposedly unstoppable."

Lex Lexington continues on with the questions.

Lex Lexington: "But why did you choose "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson as your target? It is clear you zeroed in on him the moment you stepped foot in ULOL. Why not the current ULOL Primo Ultimo Champion Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing? Why not Alexander Conway?"

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "The question should be WHY NOT "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson, with a name like that he is just asking to be stopped. There is room for only one unstoppable force here in ULOL and that is me, Colton Charles Cai Cobb! Don't you agree Mr. Lexington?"

The arrogant wrestler stares at Lex Lexington who forces himself to nod despite his opinions.

Lex Lexington: "Anyway on to the next question... What is your plan after your match tonight? Would you like to share with the audience what the future of C4 is?"

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Even a man with an IQ as low as yours should know the answer for that question. "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson is but a small stone in this big pond called United League of Lunatics, a stone which I shall pulverize into dust. After tonight, I shall take each and every other stone here and grind them too to dust as I will UJJ. I grow weary of your questions, now be off before I grind you too."

Lex Lexington hurriedly leaves not wanting to draw more ire from the egotistical wrestler as the scene fades to black.


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PostSubject: Re: Ole! Ole! Ole! OLE! (The oles lied! El Generico is nowhere in the building!) 08/28/2011   Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:53 am

VS

Jim Jackson: "What a way to kick off the evening, we have a match between one of ULOL's new and talented albeit arrogant rookie, Colton Charles Cai Cobb and one of ULOL's veteran and former Primo Ultimo in his last ULOL match, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson."

Brad Blood: "You got that right, it's like we have the latest model going against an old beat-up one. UJJ may have been a powerful force when he started but tonight we will see the fall of a legend."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is an iron man match scheduled for thirty minutes. Introducing first, he's the charismatic crippler, Colton Charles Cai Cobb!"

Green Day's "Having a Blast" starts blaring out of the speakers as the silhouette of the penultimate wrestler, covered in smoke and with a light show on, Colton Charles Cai Cobb raises from the ground with his back facing the crowd. He turns around as he steps off the platform and into the entrance ramp with a smirk on his face and an air of arrogance as he makes his way to the ring ignoring the loud boos which echo the ringside. He enters the ring, flexes and stretches waiting for the match to begin.

Jim Jackson: "Ever since his debut, Colton Charles Cai Cobb or C4 for short has been making himself noticed here in ULOL. With a recent win last week against three other wrestlers, everyone certainly has their eyes on this up and coming talent. Of course his blatant attack on "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson costing him a number one contender's match also created some controversy."

Brad Blood: "C4 wanted to get into the main event real fast, and the best way to do it is to take on one of the top talents here in ULOL, unfortunately for UJJ he's that talent."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson."

Tinie Tempah's "Simply Unstoppable (Yes Rock Remix)" blasts over the arena as "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson enters the stage through a spark shower. He makes his way to the ring. He enters the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, scouting the entire arena.

Jim Jackson: "A former Primo Ultimo and Campeónes Compañero, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson has given us many classic matches. It is a shame that this is UJJ's last match here in ULOL."

Brad Blood: "Shame? UJJ is running away! He knows with the influx of new talents that he couldn't hack it anymore so he's quitting with his tails between his legs. Good riddance if you ask me, I hope C4 gives him a loss he would never forget."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Colton Charles Cai Cobb and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson circle around the ring stalking each other cautiously... They engage each other in a grappling contest. Colton Charles Cai Cobb gets the advantage as he spins and grabs "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson... Snap suplex by C4 sends UJJ to the canvas. UJJ quickly rolls back to his feet shaking it off but gets caught this time in a butterfly suplex and again gets sent to the canvas."

Brad Blood: "See? Right off the bat C4 shows his technical superiority to UJJ. Those two suplexes were executed so beautifully too. C4 goes for the cover hoping to get an early lead in this iron man match."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "And "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson gets a shoulder up at two. It would take way more than that to get a pinfall on a former ULOL Primo Ultimo. Colton Charles Cai Cobb stomps away at UJJ before picking him up... It looks like he's setting UJJ up for a piledriver attempt... NO! UJJ countered the piledriver attempt with a back body drop sending C4 flipping through the air hitting the canvas hard back first. Leg drop by UJJ connects, he hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "C4 easily kicks out of that one. UJJ just got lucky with that back body drop. If you look at it, this match is basically a brawler against a technical genius. There's no way for UJJ who only relies of brute strength to surpass the technical abilities of C4."

Jim Jackson: "And "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson just nails Colton Charles Cai Cobb with a delayed hangman's neckbreaker... You were saying Brad? C4 scrambles up to his feet and eats a forearm to the face! Again C4 gets back up and again UJJ smashes his forearm into him sending him back down. C4 gets up for a third time... UJJ with a third forearm to his face sends him down! This time UJJ follows it up with a knee drop before hooking the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Kick out at two. Hah! If UJJ thinks a couple of crappy forearms will get him the three count on someone like C4, he must be fantasizing. Look at how C4 quickly rolls away after getting out of that pinfall attempt distancing himself from UJJ."

Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb throws a big haymaker but "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson dodges it! He picks C4 up... Fallaway slam! C4 hits the canvas hard. UJJ stands behind C4... He's locking in a sleeper hold! NO! Countered by C4 who hits a jawbreaker! A double underhook by C4... Tiger bomb sends UJJ into the canvas!"

Brad Blood: "Hot damn! That shook the ring! Seriously you could feel the shockwave of that impact from here. C4 hooks the leg, this could get him the first pinfall of the evening and the lead."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Jim Jackson: "Kick out by "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson at the last possible millisecond. The crowd goes wild! Colton Charles Cai Cobb looks fairly surprised UJJ kicked out of that one. UJJ struggles to his feet. C4 grapples him and hits a belly to belly suplex! UJJ tries to shake it off but again gets caught by C4 who administers another belly to belly suplex! UJJ rises for a third time... Irish whip by C4 sends him to the ropes... STIFF~ clothesline sends UJJ back to the canvas. C4 grabs UJJ's leg..."

Brad Blood: "Ankle lock! C4 just got the ankle lock locked in! We see pain etched all over UJJ's face! Will he tap out? No! UJJ is being stubborn as he uses his forearms to crawl to the ropes... That idiot should just have tapped and saved himself a whole lot of pain."

Jim Jackson: "For once I agree with you, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson should have tapped out fast to prevent any damage to himself and just try to get the win back since there is still quite some time left on the clock. Just a few inches away... UJJ lunges and gets to the bottom rope. He gets a rope break but at what cost?"

Brad Blood: "C4 releases his hold as we see UJJ limp back up to his feet. We see the damage of that ankle lock clearly. Haha! C4 is taunting UJJ by limping around the ring. I really love this guy!"

Jim Jackson: "Clearly the crowd doesn't as they start chanting for "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson. A hard Russian leg sweep by Colton Charles Cai Cobb slams UJJ face first into the mat. C4 with a series of elbow drops at UJJ's back keep him grounded. One final legdrop off the second rope and C4 rolls UJJ over for the pin."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Dang! UJJ got a shoulder up, I was sure C4 had that in the bag... Smart move by C4 as he works on UJJ's already damaged leg. Those stomps he just administered to the hamstring was clearly felt by UJJ. Oh, looks like he's going for another submission attempt..."

Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb grabs the already damaged leg of "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson... He spins around and sits on UJJ's back... Half-Boston crab is locked in! UJJ tries to reach for the ropes but C4 applies more pressure as he weighs down on UJJ's back. The crowd is starting to chant for UJJ who seems to be feeding off from them... UJJ pushes himself up with his hands and starts to make his way to the ropes... C4 tries to sit down but UJJ is unstoppable as he moves closer to the ropes... The crowd is on their feet shouting for UJJ... UJJ lunges and gets to the ropes! A loud pop from the crowd!"

Brad Blood: "Sure they cheer for UJJ now but don't they realize that more damage has just been done to UJJ's leg. Look he's barely even standing, he's only using the ring ropes to prop himself up. C4 knows that his half-Boston crab has done more damage to UJJ's leg and that smile his face shows it."

Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb goes low and takes "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson's leg from under him with a forearm... Irish whip by C4 sends UJJ stumbling and crashing to the turnbuckles... Here comes C4... UJJ intercepts him with an elbow. Big uppercut by UJJ stuns C4.... Bodyslam by UJJ sends C4 to the canvas but also sends him stumbling on his injured leg... C4 gets up and dodges a hook by UJJ... Irish whip by C4... REVERSED! C4 bounces off the ropes right into UJJ's arms... SPINEBUSTER! C4 hits the canvas hard! UJJ holding on to the ropes struggles to his feet... C4 slowly gets up and turns around... SPEAR!!! UJJ hits a big spear on C4!"

Brad Blood: "God damn! How did UJJ pull that one out of his ass?! Wait UJJ also goes down as the strain on his injured leg forces his knee to buckle. He may have hit that spear but it looks like he won't be able to capitalize on it! C4 did some good investment working on UJJ's leg."

Jim Jackson: "The crowd goes behind "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson as they start chanting his name. UJJ hearing the chants claws his way slowly towards Colton Charles Cai Cobb... He leaps and puts his arm on C4's chest as the ref goes down to the canvas to count."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "C4 gets a shoulder up just at the last second, much to the frustration of UJJ and the crowd. Tsk tsk... If UJJ's leg wasn't injured he could have made it sooner and maybe gotten a pinfall. Too bad... *Snicker snicker...*"

Jim Jackson: "Ignoring the pain, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson pulls himself up... He drags Colton Charles Cai Cobb up to his feet and throws a few hard rights sending C4's head snapping back. UJJ with a kick... Blocked by C4! C4 picks UJJ up and hits a sit-out powerbomb! C4 for the pin..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Dammit! How the hell did UJJ even kick out of that one?! What the hell is keeping him from just lying down and taking the three count? C4 is complaining to the ref telling him to count faster."

Jim Jackson: "How much do you have riding in this match Brad?"

Brad Blood: "Ten grand... I mean I don't bet on matches, that's illegal... I don't do stuff like that..."

Jim Jackson: "Riiiiiiiiiight... With nineteen minutes left on the clock and so far no pinfall or submissions yet, this match is far from over but it looks like it's already taking it's toll on both wrestlers, though more noticeably on "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson. Colton Charles Cai Cobb tries to lock in a figure four leglock... UJJ somehow scrambles to the safety of the ropes. C4 charges in just a UJJ gets himself up to his feet... UJJ pulls the top rope down and C4 goes over it and slams into the steel barricades outside!"

Brad Blood: "What?! That lucky sonnuva... Get up C4 GET UP!!! Aw crap, now the ref is beginning the ten count..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "Playing it smart "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson stays in the ring hoping Colton Charles Cai Cobb gets counted out giving him a point in the iron man match. This is also a good opportunity for him to rest his injured leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "Four! Five! Six!"

Brad Blood: "Look C4 is beginning to stir... He's getting back up to his feet as he tries to shake off the cobwebs. C4 climbs up to the apron..."

Jack B. Nimble: "Seven! Eight! Nine!"

Jim Jackson: "Just as Colton Charles Cai Cobb enters the ring, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson attack with a double axe handle into C4's back. UJJ picks C4 by the head... DDT! C4 gets planted to the canvas. It looks like that little rest was enough for UJJ to get his second wind. UJJ hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "C4 kicks out at two! Hah, you can see the frustration in UJJ's face and also on the faces of UJJ's fans... Looks like his second wind is merely a small gust... Haha! C4's arms just locked around UJJ's leg!"

Jim Jackson: "Looks like Colton Charles Cai Cobb is going for a Texas cloverleaf! If he locks this in, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson may not recover! UJJ is desperately trying to kick himself free with his good leg. The crowd is getting behind UJJ... And he does it! UJJ wrests his leg from C4's grasp as the crowd cheers loudly."

Brad Blood: "Why are the crowd so retarded? They are cheering for a guy who is leaving and not the future superstar here in ULOL! UJJ is quitting the company after tonigh, he's turning his back on the fans and yet they cheer for him?"

Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb goes for some low kicks but "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson keeps a safe distance... C4 lunges in for a double leg take-down... Wait! It's a feint! C4 spins behind UJJ... German suplex! C4 quickly hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Damn! Again UJJ manages to kick out. Why won't he just stay down? Seriously it would be much easier on him if he stayed down, less pain, less suffering. Again C4 goes to work on that leg of UJJ stomping away on it."

Jim Jackson: "Well we've reached the half-way mark and still no one has been pinned nor submitted. C4 picks UJJ up in a fireman's carry... UJJ with some hard elbow shots gets himself free! UJJ with a few stiff chops lights C4 up as the crowd goes WOOOOOOOOOO~!"

Brad Blood: "Well C4 isn't going to stand for it and starts retaliating with some good punches. Hah! So much for UJJ's chops... C4 has driven UJJ to the corner now! UJJ has no place more to go, lay it onto him C4!"

Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb grabs "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson's head, he's going for a bulldog... UJJ shoves C4 off of him! UJJ throws a big left, dodged by C4! Neckbreaker! UJJ goes down! C4 climbs to the second turnbuckle... Legdrop misses as UJJ rolls away! UJJ limps up to his feet... He charges in! C4 also charges in..."

Brad Blood: "Both men have thrown caution to the wind as they start throwing punches left and right. This is an all out brawl. Whoever lets up first or runs out of gas will surely go down! Oh man this is bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuutal! They are pummeling each other like there is no tomorrow!"

Jim Jackson: "No more skill, no more fancy moves, this is just pure brutal brawling. Both men are throwing all they have here as fist hits flesh. We are seeing the effects as both wrestlers' faces are showing cuts and bruises."

Brad Blood: "They are pounding each other into hamburger meat! Seriously, if this goes on any longer both men will have hamburger patties for their faces!"

Jim Jackson: "The crowd is at the edge of their seats... Everyone is waiting to see who will falter first... Wait! C4 hits a low kick to UJJ's shin! Another low kick by C4 and now UJJ has backed off protecting his injured leg... C4 prepares for another leg kick... UJJ brings his arms down to protect his leg... It's a feint... Big left hook catches UJJ by the jaw. UJJ backs off to the ropes... Bulldog off the ropes and UJJ eats canvas! C4 for the cover..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Agh! Still no three! What the hell is keeping UJJ alive? C4 again hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Still only a two as again "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson kicks out. Frustration is mounting on the rookie as he pounds on the canvas. He picks UJJ up for a powerbomb... UJJ rains punches down onto Colton Charles Cai Cobb's head sending C4 reeling! UJJ escapes the powerbomb! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson lifts Colton Charles Cai Cobb in a military press hold. "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson then smiles as he lifts Colton Charles Cai Cobb up and down like a weightless toy. Then "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson release Colton Charles Cai Cobb spinning him wildly on to the mat face first executing a brutal Impact Driver. UJJ just nailed his finisher on C4! The crowd goes wild!"

Brad Blood: "Not so fast! Look! UJJ's legs buckle from under him! Looks like that Impact Driver also took it's toll on UJJ's already injured leg! He may have hit his finisher but he may not have enough left in him for the pin!"

Jim Jackson: "The crowd starts to chant UJJ as "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson tries to pull himself to get a cover on Colton Charles Cai Cobb... With only ten minutes left on the clock, this may be UJJ's last chance to get a point... UJJ with one final lunge gets his arm across C4's chest!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thre..."

Brad Blood: "Whoa! Talk about close call! That was like a two point nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine..."

Jim Jackson: "We get the picture Brad... Colton Charles Cai Cobb still manages to keep the score even at zero all. As the clock is winding down whoever gets just one point may eke out the win here... "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson grimaces as he tries to ignore the pain and pull himself up to his feet. C4 is also slowly rising up..."

Brad Blood: "Both men are clearly running on fumes at this point, look at how ragged they both are. This is really one heck of an opening match. UJJ stumbles forward... So does C4... They are barely even upright..."

Jim Jackson: "Huge swing by "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson misses! Colton Charles Cai Cobb spins behind UJJ and locks on a full Nelson hold! But wait! UJJ manages to slip free before C4 could lock his hands. UJJ throws a punch... C4 counters it with an armdrag sending UJJ to the canvas... Elbow drop by C4... He misses as UJJ rolls away at the last second!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man this match is just like an orgasm waiting to happen... You're so excited you can't pull yourself from the edge of your seat! It's like that last piece of poop that won't fall off you butt no matter how hard you wiggle hanging on not wanting to give you the relief of finishing your business in the toilet..."

Jim Jackson: "Uh... Thank you for the graphic description Brad... Both men are now back on their feet... Clearly waiting for each other to make the first move... It's "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson who finally breaks the stalemate... He lunges in... Colton Charles Cai Cobb dodges an uppercut! Colton Charles Cai Cobb grabs his opponent's waist and hoists his opponent up onto his shoulder in an overhead gutwrench backbreaker rack. He then sits down and simultaneously flips the opponent forwards and downwards, slamming his opponent down to the ground face-first to one side executing an explosive Ground Zero!"

Brad Blood: "That shook not only the ring but the whole arena! UJJ is as good as gone! I don't see UJJ getting up after C4 hit his finisher! C4 hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thre..."

Jim Jackson: "The referee stops the three count as somehow, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson gets his leg up on the bottom rope! The crowd is all up on their feet chanting for the former champion! C4 is clearly in disbelief! He thought he had that one in the bag."

Brad Blood: "I thought he had that one in the bag! Damn that UJJ and his unbelievable luck! Still I don't see anything left in UJJ after that Ground Zero hit. C4 should be able to finish UJJ off..."

Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb leaps up and lands his knee on the leg of "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson who still has it propped up on the bottom rope... UJJ screams in pain as the knee hits his injured leg. C4 wraps his arm around UJJ's head in a headlock..."

Brad Blood: "C4 is trying to wear him down some more before going for the kill. Look at UJJ there is barely any life left in him. C4 is squeezing the last of UJJ's energy out of him with that headlock."

Jim Jackson: "The crowd is again chanting for "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson... UJJ is starting to get pumped up... He shoves Colton Charles Cai Cobb off of him... "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson stalks Colton Charles Cai Cobb waiting for him to turn around. Once he does "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson jumps up applying a three quarter facelock to Colton Charles Cai Cobb slamming him down on the mat executing a Brutal JKO! JKO! JKO! UJJ just nailed C4 with his finisher."

Brad Blood: "Don't count your chickens yet Jim, UJJ barely got off the ground when he hit that JKO, the impact is surely not as powerful as it should have been. UJJ hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb kicks out! You may be right, with his leg injured "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson was not able to fully utilize the full power of the JKO! UJJ picks C4 up by the hair... C4 with a double hammer fist slams it down onto UJJ's injured leg! UJJ falls to one knee as somehow C4 manages to roll away and get back up on his feet. Colton Charles Cai Cobb knocks his opponent down and sits on his opponent's back. Grabbing both his opponent's arms, Colton Charles Cai Cobb pulls them across his opponents neck in a "X" until his opponent starts to pass out executing an excruciating RDX! Wait! UJJ has his leg on the bottom rope! The referee is calling for C4 to let go!"

Brad Blood: "C4 is keeping the RDX locked in! The referee starts counting!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five!"

Jim Jackson: "The ref is calling for the bell! He just disqualified Colton Charles Cai Cobb! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson now has a one to zero lead on C4! And time is running out! C4 still is not releasing his hold on UJJ!"

Brad Blood: "Crap! We're down to the last few seconds! UJJ is gasping for air! The clock is winding down! UJJ is turning blue! TIME IS UP!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this iron man match with a score of one to zero, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson!"

Jim Jackson: "The match is over! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson gets a win in his last match here in ULOL... WAIT! Colton Charles Cai Cobb still haven't released UJJ yet! UJJ is turning purple! The referee and security have rushed and and finally pry C4 off of UJJ!"

Brad Blood: "C4 is asking for a mic!"

Stumbling out of the ring as EMTs rush in to check on the unconscious form of "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson, the charismatic crippler also known as Colton Charles Cai Cobb grabs a mic and speaks.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Well isn't that nice? The legendary "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson wins his last match here in United League of Lunatics. But we all know the truth, the reason Mr. Johnson over there won is simply because I let him win. Call it a parting gift from the next ULOL superstar for a has-been washed out wrestler. Enjoy your win Mr. Johnson..."

C4 starts laughing out maniacally and start walking up the ramp amidst the loud boos emanating from the crowd. He turns around and sees EMTs helping UJJ up and laughs.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Tonight, you all saw me STOP the supposedly "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson. A perfect send off to a wrestler who has turned his back on the United League of Lunatics. Technically he may have the win tonight, but it is I Colton Charles Cai Cobb who is walking out of the ring on my own two feet while he is being helped around by EMT and staff."

The arrogant wrestler suddenly charges over and gives "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson a big boot before he walks back up the ramp. He continues to laugh out loud and disappears into the back as the crowd looks on at "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson again being helped up again by staff and EMT. The crowd starts chanting "THANK YOU UJJ! THANK YOU UJJ!" as he weakly waves to the fans and disappears to the back.

Jim Jackson: "Those actions were totally uncalled for, the match is over, Colton Charles Cai Cobb has already done enough damage to "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson."

Brad Blood: "Hah, serves UJJ right. He may have won the match but this match was totally C4's."

Jim Jackson: "Didn't you just lose ten grand?"

Brad Blood: "OH FUUUUUUUUUU~!"






The scene opens upon a hallway, the sparsely traveled and dimly lit kind. In this hallway sits a small wooden desk and an uncreative chair, along with a large cardboard box sitting beside the desk. It's open, in case you're blind. Of course, most people would probably notice that Andrew Hunter, dressed in his casual attire, sitting in the chair. But again, just thought I should clarify that just in case you're blind

Andrew Hunter: "Hello, ladies and gents, to the third, and most likely last, "Jobber's View! And yes, I know you wouldn't be on the internet if you were blind!"

Andrew procedes to reach into the box, and comes out with a large sheet of paper. Wait, didn't he do the flash cards in the first, and what was thought to be the last, Jobber's View? How uncreative.



A picture of Little Wang, none other than his opponent later this night, is shown.

Andrew Hunter: "I'm sure there's not a soul in this stadium who doesn't know this man. Little Wang... He's been fighting the odds everywhere he goes. He's conquered the odds several times. And he's won the tag team title here on more than one occasion. Infact, guess who's gonna be wearing one of the belts around his waist later tonight? Err... carrying it, anyway. Wang, no matter what happens tonight, know you have this jobber's respect."


He states as the card spontaneously bursts into flames. Out of the box comes, you guessed it,



a picture of Arnold Bold! What? Were you expecting Modonna?

Andrew Hunter: "Bold. I don't feel like saying anything, other than asking how he wrestles in a suit, and pointing out that I didn't like it when he gave Taufik amnesia. Hey, I'm a face! I'm supposed to be against that!"

Andrew Hunter: "Hey Bold, how do you even wrestle in a suit?"

This picture doesn't combust, but it does disappear from the screen. Mainly due to Andrew putting it back in the box.

Andrew Hunter: "But really, I got here really really late. I wanted to cut a 15 minute promo or something, going in depth about everything that transpired during the last couple of months, and my opponents tonight. But instead, I have to go get my wrestling attire on before I miss my own match!"

Andrew stands up, bows to the camera, and begins walking away.

The camera directs it's vision from Andrew to the Jobber's View! desk. After a few seconds, the desk suddenly falls apart, lying in pieces on the floor.

I guess this really is the last Jobber's View!





A soft rapping is heard from the door as Lex Lexington peers in to see the current and reigning ULOL Campeónes Compañero Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi, collectively known as Oriental Spices resting up before their respective matches tonight. He clears his throat and inquires.

Lex Lexington: "Pardon my intrusion but is it possible to get a few words from you guys?"

Nao Fook Mi nods and waves the interviewer in. Grateful for the chance, Lex Lexington thanks the duo and begins his interview.

Lex Lexington: "Good evening, tonight we are with the two-time ULOL Campeónes Compañero Oriental Spices! Last week after an epic battle against three other tag teams, Oriental Spices came up on top and won the tag titles once more. Yet tonight both members of Oriental Spices will be fighting individual battles. Nao Fook Mi is in a four-way elimination match for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino while Little Wang will be battling two other opponents in a triangle match to be the number one contender for the ULOL Ligero Maximo. So what are your game plans for this evening?"

Fook Mi answers first.

Nao Fook Mi: "Well the game plan has never changed Lex, we shall give it our all and try to eke out the win. I once held the ULOL Campeón No Masculino before being forced to vacate it and I shall hold it again. It won't be easy mind you since I'll not be going against one opponent but three others, still that shall not deter me from giving my all and getting the gold."

Lex Lexington nods and moves on to the next question.

Lex Lexington: "I'm sure you will, now I would like to ask you about Raven Connoly? We know that you are not a fan of the new Raven. Any message you want to give her tonight?"

Nao Fook Mi: "Raven Connoly, I respected her... I even looked up to her, she was my role model, only a few years my senior she has accomplished so much. Don't be mistaken, I still respect her skill in the ring, what I've lost respect for is her... Instead of standing tall and continuing to fight, she gave in and allowed herself to be consumed with hatred. I myself know what she was going through, I mean I went through it myself. Loss after loss after loss, it was a dark road which was paved before me yet I was able to struggle and find the light. The proof are these belts we are now holding."

Fook Mi pats the tag title draped on her shoulder.

Nao Fook Mi: "Me and Wang won these with hard work and perseverance. Sure there are times things looked grim, we were even talking about breaking up, but we didn't. We fought on against adversity and the results? Well you can see it for yourself."

Fook Mi beams with pride at the gold she and her partner had just recently won. Lex Lexington nods again at Fook Mi's words...

Lex Lexington: "Well said... Well said. Now if you don't mind, I would like to turn my next question to your partner Little Wang."

Lex faces the midget wrestler...


Little Wang: "Ask away Lex."

The half-pint wrestlers confidently smiles as he waits for Lex Lexington to ask his question.

Lex Lexington: "Little Wang, tonight you will be going against two other wrestlers, one of them also a former tag team champion for a chance to battle Alexander Conway for the ULOL Ligero Maximo. Saying that the cards are not stacked in your favor could be an understatement. What do you reckon are your chances for coming up on top tonight?"

Little Wang: "My chances? The same as when I won this with Fook Mi."

Little Wang raises the ULOL Campeónes Compañero belt up.

Little Wang: "Did people expect us to win? Did they expect us to walk away again with the tag gold? No they didn't, specially not against three other teams which have made a name for themselves in the tag scene. I'd say my chances of winning is as good as those of my opponents tonight. GoodFella, I would know what to expect since I've battled him and his partner numerous times in tag team matches. Andrew Hunter? Well I am not quite familiar with his wrestling style but that goes the same for him right? As the saying goes, don't count your chickens before they are hatched. But whatever the outcome is tonight, my fans can be sure of one thing, I will give them a show to remember."

Lex Lexington wraps up the interview.

Lex Lexington: "Well, thank you for your time and good luck to the both of you. Maybe the next time we meet, you both will be in possession of two belts each."

Lex Lexington takes his leave as the scene fades.






Backstage area. Arnold “GoodFella” Bold is standing there with a microphone in his hands. It looks like he wants to tell something.

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "Well finally someone in the management saw that it is time for Arnold Bold to get a title once again. Well first I need to eliminate my opponents for tonight. I won’t even waste my time neither on Little Wang, which is current half of one-half of the Campeones Companero nor this Andrew Hunter guy who is completely a joke in my opinion. All I will say is that tonight I will show that Arnold “GoodFella” Bold is THE total package and one of the best wrestlers in the business."

GoodFella walks away as the scene fades away.


But it doesn't take someone long to find the light switch! Goodfella stops abruptly, as the man in front of him, who also hit the lights, is none other than Andrew Hunter.

Andrew: Last words! Oh yeah!

Andrew hits the switch again, putting the screen back into the dark ages.



VS

VS



Jim Jackson: “Well people the next match is for the Number One Contender Spot for the Ligero Maximo! We got three competitors going for this one! Little Wang of Oriental Spices going up against GoodFella along with Andrew Hunter! A three way match for the top spot of the lightweight league would see one of these competitors going against Alexander Conway!”

Brad Blood: “Conway is in a match tonight for the Primo Ultimo! What would happen if Conway were to win the Primo Ultimo? That would the second double champion in the history of this company!”

Jim Jackson: “But that’s not the match in hand quite yet! So let’s just concentrate on this match.”

Jasmine Lee: “This match is scheduled as a Three-way Triangle Match for the Number One Contender spot for the ULOL Ligero Maximo championship! Introducing first, Andrew Hunter!”

"New Divide" by Linkin Park blasts through the arena. Andrew Hunter appears on the top of the ramp, straightening out his elbow pads. He cracks a grin as he begins walking down the ramp. He slaps the hands of the fans on his left, followed by the fans on his right, seeming to enjoy the spotlight. He slides underneath the ropes and quickly bounces back up, jumping up on a turnbuckle and staring into the audience.

Jim Jackson: “Andrew Hunter looking relaxed as always under all the lights and pressure of this match!”

Brad Blood: “Relaxed but ready to battle!!”

Jasmine Lee: “Introducing his opponent, Arnold “GoodFella” Bold!!”

"Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again and he was standing in the middle of the ring pointing to his trademark Conway Satisfaction.

Brad Blood: “GoodFella though coming off from a loss last week when he and Felix Schwarz lost an opportunity to win a Four Way tag title match against the DWMA!”

Jim Jackson: “Don’t forget the last competitor in this was in that very same match! And here he comes now!”

Jasmine Lee: “And introducing finally, Little Wang!!”

"Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor starts playing on the speakers as flashing multicolored lights starts flashing at the top of the entrance ramp as smoke rises from the floor. A small form suddenly bounces out of the entrance tunnel and through the smoke which is slowly clearing. The crowd looks wide-eyed at the small midget standing on top of the entrance ramp wearing stilts with both arms in the air waving a victory sign with his fingers. The midget runs down the ramp and scampers into the ring.

Brad Blood: “Little Wang was also involved in the Four Way tag title match but obviously won with a submission from his tag partner Nao Fook Mi!! He has that title around his waist now look!!”

Jim Jackson: “These competitors know each other pretty well from previous tag battles but rarely ever in singles competition! Let’s see how they deal with each other without their respective partners help!!”

Jasmine Lee: “The referee for this matchup is Jack B. Nimble!! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!!!”

Jim Jackson: “And this match gets underway! Like so many other three way matches we have seen in the past the competitors are never quite sure who to start on!! But these guys seem to have made up their minds already!! And by guys I mean GoodFella and Andrew Hunter! Both going straight for Little Wang!! Boots to the face of Little Wang puts him flat on the canvas!! And now Hunter firing punches to GoodFella now! Andrew Hunter Irish whips GoodFella to the ropes! Hunter slams GoodFella with a clothesline!!”

Brad Blood: “Little Wang is up now and is already on that top turnbuckle! Hunter is surprised to find Little Wang on that turnbuckle! He obviously left him on the canvas and expected him to still be there! But Little Wang takes Hunter by surprise and sends a clothesline of his own as he leaps from that top turnbuckle!! Hunter taken completely off his feet from that hit!!”

Jim Jackson: “Little Wang now directing his attention to GoodFella! GoodFella trying to get to his feet but gets met with a nice DDT from Little Wang!! GoodFella sent straight back down onto the canvas!! Little Wang managed to get some pretty good air as he leaped to execute that DDT! Andrew Hunter getting to his feet but Little Wang sees and he sprints for Hunter. Little Wang takes Hunter’s leg out with a dropkick which brings Hunter back down to Little Wang’s level!”

Brad Blood: “Some people might see Little Wang as being slightly disadvantaged in these matches but with his unique style it gives him somewhat of an advantage! Hunter down to Little Wang’s level and Little Wang now firing a combination of hard punches!! Hunter stunned and Little Wang slams Hunter with a shining wizard to the face! GoodFella now from behind slams Little Wang with a hard punch!! GoodFella picks Little Wang up and suplexes the little man to the canvas!! GoodFella going for it again as he drags Little Wang up and plants him with another suplex!!”

Jim Jackson: “GoodFella using Little Wang’s weight to his advantage! GoodFella plants Little Wang for the last time with a yet another suplex!! GoodFella now directing his attention to Andrew Hunter! But Hunter was lying in wait as GoodFella steps back grasping his face!! Hunter with that eye rake to GoodFella which temporarily blinds him! Hunter going on the attack now!! Slamming GoodFella with some hard punches! He sends GoodFella to the ropes but misses a clothesline attempt as GoodFella ducks Hunter’s open arm!! GoodFella speeds up, turns Hunter around and brings Hunter crashing down to the canvas with a bicycle kick to body!!”

Brad Blood: “GoodFella back in charge of this one after the abrupt blip! But quick thinking got him the control he needs! GoodFella attempting to restart his attack on Hunter! Little Wang is still down on the canvas after the multiple suplexes he took! GoodFella locking in a hammerlock onto Hunter! Right in the middle of the ring!! Hunter looking for the easy way out but realizes that those ropes are too far away! In some pain here but not looking to tap out! GoodFella looking to tighten up that hold! Always trying to make sure that there is no way out!”

Jim Jackson: “BUT HE DID NOT SEE THAT WAY OUT!!! As Little Wang realizing what was going on and he quickly brought himself around to break up that submission with a blunt boot right to the chin of GoodFella!!”

Brad Blood: “He’s going to be feeling that in the morning!”

Jim Jackson: “I’m sure a tooth flew out from that! Little Wang picking up the pace as he slams multiple chops to the chest of GoodFella. GoodFella holding his chest in pain! Andrew Hunter trying to shake the pain away from his arm. Little Wang not noticing Hunter getting to his feet!!”

Brad Blood: “I think he has now!! Hunter picks Little Wang up and uses his knee to perform a spine crushing backbreaker! Little Wang flat out on the canvas!! Hunter with the shoulders down!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!!”

Jim Jackson: “GoodFella brings a fist down to the back of Hunter’s neck to stop the referees count!! GoodFella using quick burst energy to break up that count and all three men on the canvas out of it for the moment!”

Brad Blood: “So far there is no standout competitor in this! GoodFella and Andrew Hunter getting to their feet! Little Wang still out on the canvas after that backbreaker! GoodFella and Hunter exchanging some punches! GoodFella manages to get the advantage! Grapples with the stunned Hunter! GoodFella maneuvers Hunter around and has Hunter in a tight spot! FULL NELSON SLAM TO ANDREW HUNTER!! The referee sees the shoulders down!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!! Thr…”

Jim Jackson: “Close call as Hunter gets his shoulder up in time! Little Wang starting to rouse finally … wait a minute!! GoodFella trying a different tactic!! Attempting to worsen the condition of the already hurt Little Wang! But GoodFella gets met with a low blow!! The referees back was turned!! GoodFella slumps down to the canvas while Jack B. Nimble was checking on Andrew Hunter!!”

Brad Blood: “Obviously Little Wang could see that and took full advantage!! I guess these guys want this No.1 spot!! Little Wang now with the time to recover! Andrew Hunter doing the same as he slowly gets to his feet! GoodFella still recoiling from that low blow! Jack B. Nimble obviously now oblivious to the low blow as he sees GoodFella on the canvas still in some pain!”

Jim Jackson: “Little Wang is the first to go on the offense as he makes his way over to GoodFella!! Stomping a mudhole into GoodFella!! Little Wang signaling to Andrew Hunter for some double teaming action!! Little Wang signals what he wants! Hunter brings GoodFella to his feet! Meanwhile Little Wang leaps up onto the top turnbuckle! Hunter now with GoodFella on his shoulders in that electric chair position!! Little Wang waves cheekily at GoodFella or was that at Andrew Hunter?!?! Little Wang leaps forward off the turnbuckle and dropkicks Andrew Hunter to the face!! Hunter falls backwards and GoodFella goes down with him!!”

Brad Blood: “That wave must’ve been for Hunter then!! Little Wang just tricked Hunter into that double team move but only it wasn’t a double team move!”

Jim Jackson: “But he took both guys out!! Little Wang now quickly jumping back up to the top turnbuckle once again! Hunter is nearest to that turnbuckle!! Little Wang leaping from that turnbuckle once again but this time he’s going for that signature move Tadpole Splash!!! And he lands it!!! The shoulders are down! This could be it!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!! Thr…”

Jim Jackson: “But Hunter kicks out!!!! So close to the three count!!”

Brad Blood: “Could’ve easily been three as well! From that dropkick to the Tadpole Splash!! Little Wang annoyed that that wasn’t quite three!! So he tries the pin again!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!!”

Jim Jackson: “Not quite the same this time!! Hunter kicks out again and quickly rolls away from that turnbuckle! Little Wang now trying his luck with GoodFella instead! Top turnbuckle once again!! Going for that Tadpole Splash but attempting it to GoodFella this time! He leaps!! …. But finds nothing but canvas as GoodFella was aware enough to move out the way!!”

Brad Blood: “That’s just gotta hurt!! That’s like a belly flop into water only the canvas is partially solid!! GoodFella recovering as is Andrew Hunter! GoodFella finds Hunter through all that fuzz in head! Going for a clothesline!! But Hunter counters by ducking and pulls the top rope down!! GoodFella with all that momentum tumbles over the top rope and to the outside! Hunter decides not to go to the outside and goes for Little Wang!! Maybe trying to finish this match!”

Jim Jackson: “It makes sense as GoodFella has been put briefly out the way!! Little Wang IS recovering but Hunter not wanting to waste the opportunity!! A few hard rights to stun Little Wang!! Andrew Hunter now with Little Wang in a dangerous position!!”

Brad Blood: “He’s setting him up for something!”

Jim Jackson: “Slamming Little Wang to the canvas with a HARD Target Practice!! Surely Little Wang can’t get up from this!!! Shoulders are down!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!! Three!!!”

Jasmine Lee: “The winner of this matchup and now the No.1 Contender for Ligero Maximo, Andreeeew Huuunter!!!”

Jim Jackson: “Andrew Hunter manages to pull this one out!! Takes advantage of the time he earned and finishes this one indefinitely!! And now is in top spot for our light heavyweight title!!”

Brad Blood: “He might even have somewhat of an advantage if Conway goes on to win the Primo Ultimo in our main event later on tonight!! With Conway having to defend both titles in the near future it could turn in his opponents favor!!”

Jim Jackson: “IF he wins!! Q is no walk over!! We’ll be right back folks, right after this!!”


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PostSubject: Re: Ole! Ole! Ole! OLE! (The oles lied! El Generico is nowhere in the building!) 08/28/2011   Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:54 am



United League of Lunatics training area. That’s where all superstars are trying to improve their form and get stronger. Gina “The Wild” Sheridan disappointed her manager Summer Bold with her recent losses. She made a huge impact when she arrived in ULOL but since then some time has passed and no one really remembers her. S ummer made it clear that if she won’t get back on the track, she is useless to her and will be sent back to the streets where Summer found her.

Summer Bold: "We gave you name Gina “The Wild" but recently you don't even live up to your name. You have become sloppy, you have lost your teeth and your claws Gina and do you know why?"

Gina wanted to answer the question but Summer interrupted.

Summer Bold: "Don’t bother answering. Maybe it's because you and Felix got mixed up? That’s why you have become so sloppy, that is why you have become soft... There is no time for romance when you are still at the bottom. Don’t stop doing push-ups. Ten more."

While Gina is doing push- ups, Summer considers what else she could think why she is not at the top right now.

Summer Bold: "Do you even remember anything I tell you? Do you even follow my instructions?"


Gina nods and explains to Summer.

Gina “The Wild" Sheridan: "Yes Summer, you told me that romance at work always end in a bad way. I’m sorry for causing you all these problems when you already have done so much for me."


Summer Bold: "Oh come on now, don’t be like that. You need to be strong and show no weakness and what you're doing now apologizing? You really DO need more training than I expected."

Turning around, Summer Bold spots the cameraman.

Summer Bold: "You! Leave now, we have some private matters to discuss."

Cameraman leaves and scenes fades away.






'Map Of The Problematique' by Muse starts playing throughout the arena, suddenly a wall of flames shoot up across the stage floor, after a few moments Raven Connoly emerges through the flames. She makes her way to the admist a wall of boos and hisses, the crowd shouts out insults as well. Raven climbs into the ring and walks to the center of the ring. Completely unfazed by the crowds less than warm reception she begins to speak.

Raven Connoly: "Tonight, I will reclaim the ULOL Campeón no Masculino, a title that I never should have lost. Tonight, I begin to right all the wrongs that have been done to me by this federation, and its ignorant, incompetent GM. How do i know I will win, well lets take a look at my so called competition."

Raven begins to walk around the ring as she speaks, her cane over her shoulder.


Raven Connoly: "First, we have Gina "The Wild" Sheridan, a competitor who came to this federation posed to dominate the female division and beyond. Gina came out strong, but ended up to be nothing but a blip on the radar in no time. I've single handedly taken her out twice with little to no effort."

Raven pauses as the crowd continues to boo, and then starts to speak again.

Raven Connoly: "Then we have the so called champion Bianca de Sade, a person who has no business stepping in this ring. The only reason that cunt even got on the roster is because she's blowing one of the, well so called stars, on this roster, and probably Troy as well. The only reason she still has the belt is because I didn't take it from her when I decimated her at Ay Caramba!"

Raven stops in the center of the ring again.


Raven Connoly: "And then we have Nao Fook Mi, the only competitor in this match who actually belongs in a ring. Nao Fook Mi is a great competitor, and she has beaten me before, but of course that was the old me. As great as Nao is, she is still bound by those shackles of doing whats honorable and good, just like I used to be. However, I have seen that that gets you nothing, unlike her I know that doing whats good and honorable gets you nothing. That is why tonight, Nao will fall just like the rest of them, and I will walk away once again the ULOL Campeón no Masculino!"

Raven drops the mic and rolls out of the ring. 'Map Of The Problematique' hits the speakers again as Raven makes her way up the ramp and backstage.






The camera opens up to show the parking lot. A horse driven carriage pulls up into the arena and stops near the back entrance to the arena. A man steps out of the carriage and gets to one knee. A beautiful woman dressed in white exits. The helps helps her down and proceeds to stand up.

??: "This is ULOL? I was expecting a grand ceremony for my arrival. This certainly will not do. Cornelius? Please grab my belongings. I wish to speak to the management."

Cornelius: "Yes m'lady."

Cornelius grabs the belongings, closes the door of the carriage. The Carriage leaves as the woman and Cornelius who appears to be her servant enter the arena. The camera fades to black.






/W

VS

VS

VS



Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a four-way elimination match, and is for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino. Introducing first, Gina "The Wild" Sheridan"

“Highway to Hell” by AC/DC starts to sound and Gina “The Wild” Sheridan accompanied with Summer Bold walks down the entrance ramp and enters the ring to little fanfare.

Jim Jackson: "Here come the first competitor in tonight's match. Gina "The Wild" has not had a lot of luck in her past few matches, but she's looking to turn that all around tonight. "

Brad Blood: "She has a look of determination on her face, and that will be the last time tonight I look at her or any of the other competitors in this match faces"

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Noa Fook Mi"

Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. She quickly makes her way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. She bows and gives her respect to the crowd before heading to her corner.

Jim Jackson: "Noa Fook Mi making her way to the ring, one half of the ULOL Campeónes Compañero, looking to add another belt to her collection."

Brad Blood: "Not only that, but she's also looking to slap some sense in to Raven Connoly, I'm getting excited just thinking about it."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Raven Connoly."

'Map Of The Problematique' by Muse starts playing throughout the arena, suddenly a wall of flames shoot up across the stage floor, after a few moments Raven Connoly emerges through the flames. She has on black spandex pants, a red and black corset, a black cane with a silver dragon design handle resting on her shoulder, and a long black coat that splits at her waist, once in the middle of her back, and on both sides, forming four tails that dance behind her as she approaches the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Raven has made it very clear over the past few weeks that as far as she is concerned the ULOL Campeón No Masculino is still her title, and tonight she hopes to take it back."

Brad Blood: "Raven definitely on a mission, I wouldn't want to get in her way."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, the current ULOL Campeón No Masculino, Lady Bianca de Sade."

'Rebirthing' by Skillet blasts over the arena as Lady Bianca de Sade comes out from the entrance tunnel. She walks down to the ring, she waves to the fans as she enters the ring.


Jim Jackson: "The current champion has her work cut out for her if she wants to keep that belt, the champion is always at a disadvantage in this kind of match."

Brad Blood: "God damn, there is a lot of hotness in that ring, and they are about to get all hot and sweaty, I have the best job ever!"

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "There's the bell The Wild takes a chop from Raven. followed by a dropkick on Gina Sheridan. Raven with an irish whip throwing Gina against the ropes, and then nails Gina with a huge clothesline. Raven not waisting any time as she goes for a cover!"

Sully S. Calawag:"1...2"

Brad Blood: "Lady B pulls Raven off of Gina before the referee can finish the count. Not really the best strategy considering this is an elimination match, but hell, what do I know."

Jim Jackson: "Valid point. Lady B throws Raven into the turn buckle. Lady B climbs to the second rope and starts nailing Raven with punch after punch."

Brad Blood: "Wow, Lady B showing some aggression here taking it to Raven, But here comes Noa Fook Mi grabbing Lady B and throwing her to the mat and then hits a rolling kick on Raven. Raven falls to her knees, and is hit with a thunderous knee lift to her face from The Wild."

Jim Jackson: "Raven is taking a beating early on in this match, Gina turns around and nails Nao with a elbow smash followed by a kick in the gut. Gina grabs Nao Fook Mi and pulls off a perfect suplex."

Brad Blood: "Lady B coming off the ropes, but Gina stops her short with a scoop slam. Gina is on a rampage, and her trunks are crawling up her ass as well, which is awesome."

Jim Jackson: "Raven hitting Gina with a double axe handle before nailing her in the side with a stiff kick. Fook Mi whips Raven into the turnbuckles...and the ref is crushed! DDT from the top rope by Nao Fook Mi. Nao Hooks the leg, but the referee is out cold!"

Brad Blood: "Nao clearly frustrated but doesn't have long to think about it as Lady B runs up behind her and hits a bulldog. Flying elbow from Lady B connects with Gina as she attempts to get back to her feet. Lady B goes back to Nao, Nao counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hits a clothesline!"

Jim Jackson: "These women are going all out, Nao Fook Mi goes to the ropes, but Raven hops up and nails Nao with a clothesline and they both go tumbling out of the ring and to the arena floor. Gina the wild grabs Lady B and lifts her into the air and slams her to the mat with a powerful body slam. Gina goes for the cover."

Sully S. Calawag:"1..2..,"

Brad Blood: "Lady B kicks out Gina can't believe it, Lady B kicks Gina and knocks her to the mat. Hmmm, I never seen that look in Lady B's eyes. Lady Bianca de Sade runs towards Gina 'The Wild" grabbing her head. She somersaults over twisting Sheridan's head as she drives it to the mat executing a brutal Rolling Stone!! There's the cover!"

Sully S. Calawag:"1...2...3!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentleman, Gina "The Wild" Sheridan has been eliminated!"

Jim Jackson: "One down, Gina rolls out of the ring furious, Raven slide back in the ring behind a celebrating Lady B. I think Lady may have forgot this is an elimination match. Lady B turns around and Raven nails her in the face with her boot, executing a Bloody Sunday. Raven goes for the cover!"

Sully S. Calawag:"1...2...3!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentleman, Lady Bianca de Sade has been eliminated!"

Brad Blood: "And then there were two, well no matter what happens one of these two will be the new ULOL Campeón No Masculino, the other will be hot, sweaty, tired, and in need of consoling, and that is where I will step in."

Jim Jackson: "Yeah, that will make them feel better, beating the hell out of you. Fook Mi walks into a spinning heel kick which almost causes a decapitation! Nao Fook Mi is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Implant DDT by Nao Fook."

Brad Blood: "Body slam by Nao Fook Mi. Nao goes for the knee drop but Raven rolls out of the way, flying knee to the face from Raven Connoly. Raven hits a back kick, doubling Fook Mi over. Raven Connoly misses a clothesline. Fook Mi crushes Raven with a huge spinning kick to the back of the head."

Jim Jackson: "Raven and Nao Fook Mi trading blows in the center of the ring, both there faces bloody, they are both running out of gas. Nao Fook Mi blocks a punch from Raven and counters with an elbow smash. Raven stumbles backwards!"

Brad Blood: "Nao Fook Mi leaps to the top of the turnbuckle, she somersaults over Raven who rushes in towards her landing behind Raven who spins around right into a deadly burst kick sending her crashing to the corner executing a devastating Fook Mi Special!!! That's it we are about to have a new champion!"

Jim Jackson: "Nao Fook Mi goes for the cover, but wait Raven has grabbed her cane that is still in the corner. Nao Fook Mi doesn't notice as she goes for the pin, Raven slams the cane into the side of Nao's head, the cane breaks in half. Nao falls to the mat, she's out cold! HOW DID THE REF NOT SEE THAT!?"

Brad Blood: "I don't know, but he didn't, and Raven goes for the pin!"

Sully S. Calawag:"1...2...3! Ring the bell!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentleman, Nao Fook Mi has been eliminated! Which means Raven Connoly is the new ULOL Campeón No Masculino!"

Jim Jackson: "This is a joke, there are pieces of the cane in the ring, either Scully is a friggin idiot or blind as a bat!"

Marcus Troy: "Bravo Raven bravo!"


The crowd turn their attention to the top of the entrance ramp and see the general manager of United League of Lunatics walk towards the ring in his three piece Armani suit.

Marcus Troy: "A well fought battler and a well won prize. Now don't looks at me like that. I am here to congratulate you."

Marcus Troy sneers as he enters the ring.


Marcus Troy: "But I do bear some ill tidings today. It seems that Lady Bianca de Sade's contract ends tonight and she has opted not to renew. This brings the active women's division down to four and in the charter rules of ULOL, for the Campeón No Masculino title to remain active, we need at least FIVE active wrestlers in the division, so I am afraid that after tonight that title you've just won will be suspended."

The crowd starts to boo loudly as Raven Connoly looks at Marcus Troy with contempt in her eyes.


Tarja Turunen's ''I walk Alone'' begins to play as the arena goes dark, Blue and green lights shines throughout the arena and a mist covers the floor. The beautiful Princess of the Arctic, Aurora Borealis, comes gracefully out from the backstage arena, wearing a white cloak and stands on the entrance ramp. She begins walking down to the ring with whistling from male audience members. She walks up the steps and enters the ring. She walk over and is handed a microphone. Her music slowly fades out as she stands face to face with Marcus Troy.


Aurora Borealis: "Monsieur Troy, let me introduce myself. My name is Aurora Borealis, the princess of the arctic, the snow white beauty, the desire of every man and the envy of every woman."

Aurora gives an elegant bow to the general manager

Aurora Borealis: "I have traveled a great distance and turned down multiple offers in order to compete here and now you are telling me that there is no longer a division worthy enough to show my true beauty in? Monsieur, you are sadly mistaken."


Aurora removes her hood

Aurora Borealis: "I haven't even had a choice to defeat all these women. It is obvious that no one can compare to my beauty and a princess, such as I, deserves gold equal to my beauty. Now tell me, Monsieur Troy, are you really going to disappoint me like that?"

Marcus Troy stares at the beautiful diva standing right before him. He composes himself again and replies...

Marcus Troy: "W-well this does change things a little..."

The GM of ULOL turns to Raven and then crowd.

Marcus Troy: "It seems you get to keep that title of yours after all. You should be thankful for this lady standing before us right now. Of course I would offer you a contract, perhaps we can discuss the details in my office?"

Marcus Troy offers a hand as both he and Aurora Borealis leaves the ring and walks to the back as Raven stares on seething with rage, the ULOL Campeón No Masculino title hoisted on her shoulders.




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PostSubject: Re: Ole! Ole! Ole! OLE! (The oles lied! El Generico is nowhere in the building!) 08/28/2011   Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:56 am



As the scene opens, the camera is zoomed in on a trash can that contains all sorts of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing merchandise. A lighter soon comes into view, before being flipped open. The thumb slides down and soon a flame is hovering above the merchandise. Some fluid falls onto the merchandise as the camera pans out to reveal that Alexander Conway is dousing the merchandise with alcohol. After tossing away the bottle, Alexander sets the trash can ablaze before turning to look at the camera.

Alexander Conway: “Oh, my apologies, I didn’t know you were there. I found a bunch of this free flammable material lying in some sort of stand, and helped myself to it. I added a little alcohol to help the fire spread quicker, and then I’m going to roast some marshmallows on it. Let’s get to that, I’m hungry.”

Alexander sits down on a chair near the burning trashcan before producing a bag of marshmallows and a skewer. He pulls a marshmallow out of the bag and stabs it with the skewer before holding it over the trash can. Alexander looks over at the cameraman as he says something just low enough for the camera to not be able to pick it up.

Alexander Conway: “What!? I’m burning Q merchandise! Oh no! What ever will I do once he finds out that I am disrespecting him!? Oh, that’s right, not care. How could I forget?”

Alexander gives a shrug of his shoulders.

Alexander Conway: “It’s too bad the Primo Ultimo Championship was devalued by being held by him. I mean really, we need a champion who can actually put on a match, not someone who bores the crowd to death. I would not and I could not watch any of the matches that Q worked, not even if I was on a boat and bored out of my mind. His matches leave arenas looking like the end of Macbeth! It’s clear tonight that I’m going to have to make this match watchable. It'll be a difficult job, however. While my matches are classic, his matches look like they were done by a kindergartner high on acid!”

Alexander drops the skewer before kicking the trash can over.

Alexander Conway: “Even the most mentally deficient person can tell that I am going to win tonight regardless of what Q says or does! No matter what happens tonight, I WILL leave with that belt! And Q, don’t try to respond to this, because not even Horton wants to hear from you. Just go back to your little country and hide, because those lambs are the only ones who care about you. Although, while we are on the subject, how is Muppet land? Did Sam ever come back after giving 94% of the population HIV? But what did you all really expect when you use the backdoor so often? Mother warned you about tracking mud.”

Alexander scoffs before walking towards the doors of the United League of Lunatics. He turns and looks directly at the camera.

Alexander Conway: “Oh, and Q, you have a big name and a big mask. Are you trying to compensate for something in the pants?”

The doors of the ULOL open as Alexander steps inside, closing the doors on this scene while a fire rages just out of camera shot.


The dimming out of the scene is reversed, brightening with the fire's golden-red. A familiar silhouette is outlined against the heated glow from the burning trash can.

The silhouette belongs to none other than the headlining highlight of the squared circle. The masked man known throughout the continents only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

He takes his time watching the fire disintegrate his merchandise, as reporters swarm about, taking pictures of the burning.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "As if the insults of that cellulite-bloated cur wasn't enough! It says a lot that the only thing Robert Conway could think of to try and get my notice is to desperately use the usual codewords! HE IS FROM A SMALL AND POOR COUNTRY! A COMPETITOR FROM A SMALL AND POOR COUNTRY COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE BETTER THAN HIM! HE AND HIS PEOPLE MAY EVEN BE DISEASED AND DESERVE TO DIE! You forgot to add that if it ain't white, it ain't right!"

The fire blazes on behind Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I was not going to even answer! I was fine letting you dig your own hole, while you go on about anyone not white like you! Being not good enough like you, Robert! I am sure you have worlds of experience proving that!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing points to the fire that was meant to intimidate.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I suppose you never had to plant something burning on Shogun's lawn! Because he's the RIGHT kind of person as far as you are concerned! Maybe! You found it comedic that the only thing children have left of their mother or father is a chewed out scalp and half a left foot! It sounds like! You had a jolly laugh when parents from my homeland found out there wasn't enough left of their children to put in a pizza box! Perhaps! You can show everyone all YOUR experience being that shoulder to cry on! Or that hand to hold! And maybe you done that in the past! So long as the other poor person was RIGHT! Like you!"

Someone walks up to the trash can with a fire extinguisher, as the masked man continues.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "You would want everyone to believe that what my people and I have had to endure was just the piss of a fly! Compared to your donkey's burden called the DWMA!"



Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is momentarily nonplussed to find one of his countrymen show a picture of Ray Kamaura on his iPad. The man just as hurriedly moves out of the frame.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Maybe they were a load! Or maybe you felt better having FULL REEEEEE-TARD Asians be your posse! To make you look RIGHT! And maybe they liked it! Maybe that is why Ray and Leon kept going after Manolo Ferrer! Because they kept getting in trouble without their Get Out Of Jail white friend! I notice you and your two title shots now, Robert! I smell your tag team partner lurking! I hear Leon and Ray retarding! I spot your Plans E, F, G and H! All set up to make sure you don't lose to someone who isn't right!"

The fire is doused as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing goes on.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "You find me at a time when I rage against that overeating ogre! He has taken what did not belong to him! Destroyed a gift meant for someone who has lost everything that made him the Taufik! And you wanted my attention, Conway! You want to do the same thing that mountain of manmeat has done! I could help you with that! I can show you how to have the Primo Ultimo title shine as it plumbs the depths of your dark fantasy! I can help you make it the very core of your being! You just won't be able to sit down for a month afterwards!"

Another of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's countrymen appears, handing him a pair of latex gloves. The masked man takes them, and without another word, walks off.


Ray Kamaura's figure is seen as an outline in the blaze. His shadow dwarfs Q's figure. He steps forth from the blackness carrying with him a box of ghram crackers and Ershey's chocolate bars. The gargantuan strides over to the fire's side and pulls up a trash can with him. He takes a skewer in hand and pierces a marshmallow before holding it over the fire, making sure that it's over a few of Q's custom logo tee-shirts. He looks at Q calmly before speaking.

Ray Kamaura: "Q, why do you wear a mask? Is it because you have buck teeth? Or fish lips? Or is it because you're so damn ugly that when you were born the doctor slapped yo' mama and half of your village? Is it to hide some sort of gross wart? Or some sort of Medusa-like face that will turn us to stone with its ugliness? And why is your name so long? You call me a full REEEEE-TARD, but what the hell was your mom on when she named you? Maybe she didn't and you're just over compensating? Just like with your RPs."

Ray turns to look at the camera and pulls his marshmallow from the fire. He blows the fire out before opening the box of ghram crackers and taking two out. The big man then takes a bar of chocolate and stacks them all together for a s'more.

Ray Kamaura: "And yes, I did break the fourth wall."

Ray looks back down at his newly made s'more with anticipation. He sinks his teeth into the sweet treat before grimacing. Kamaura spits out the s'more and throws the rest of it on the ground. He stomps on the debacle for good measure.

Ray Kamaura: "Eew, tastes like Q's dirty country. How the hell did Zombie eat that crap? Tasted like donkey, dirt, and poverty. That was just nasty. I can't believe that a place could be so terrible that it wouldn't even make a good fire. By the way, nice idea using alchol to make the actual fire, Conway. This shit wouldn't even start burning. What good is wood when it doesn't even make good firewood. It can't even cook a good s'more. This stuff is just terrible. The Morbidly Obese Man must've been REALLY hungry to eat ANYTHING meant for your people, Q. I wouldn't even feed that stuff to my dog. And she eats her own turds for crying out loud. "


The masked champion looks up at the much bigger Kamaura, as members of the media gather around them. From his stance, it seems Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is curious about the man facing him. He slowly raises a finger to point at Ray, the gesture coming across more like a doubletake.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "You! How do you know so much about how donkey meat and dirt tastes like!"

His expression seems to be one of disbelief.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Was your donkey alive or dead when you tasted it the first time!"

The reporters make similar observations.

Reporter: "他宣布他的父母亲是兄妹."

Reporter 2: "...jis yra valgyti purvo ekspertas!"

Reporter 3: "Senor Kamaura le gusta comer carne de burro."

Reporter 4: "...彼はロバのペニスを食べる..."

Reporter 5: "Ayun daw kay Ray, alam daw niya ang lasa ng asno, dahil kinakabayo siya ng mga ito."

Reporter 6: "Ray Kamaura debuted a new gimmick (donkey dong taste tester). It gained a negative response."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I myself have never tried donkey meat! I would recommend changing to Free Cat! It is rich in fiber and comes in many flavors! And it improves virility!"

The assembled journalists all look down at Ray Kamaura's crotch.


Ray Kamaura kicked over the flaming trash can and got up on his feet. He looked down at Q and spit at his feet.

Ray Kamaura: "Why don't you take off that mask and show your true face. Only a coward hides behind a mask. Maybe one day ill just take it from you and reveal your true, cowardly, face to your people. But tonight I have a title to defend."

As the giant grappler walks away turns to Q and says "Good Luck". Then walks away laughing at the notion of Q winning.


The masked champion looks on at the retreating Ray Kamaura.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Maybe you would like to tell all these outstanding journalists what the taste of donkey is like! Was it hairy! What did it smell like! And if you were on top or below it!"

A few reporters, intrigued by the chance to dig up some dirt, quickly jog up to the retreating Ray Kamaura.

Reporter 6: "Sir, our viewers would like to know what it's like to taste donkey meat..."

Reporter 5: "How much of your diet is dirt? Aren't you worried it might retard your cognitive skills?"

Reporter: "Does swallowing donkey help you fearlessly run away faster? Were you already eating it that time you ran away from that manager?"

The other reporters follow suit, peppering the retreating Ray Kamaura with all sorts of questions about donkeys, dirt, and how his new gimmick will help him become a bigger star. Leaving Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing alone.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I wonder why he is crossing the street! The door is this way!"

The costumed crusader then steps into the building.






The scene opens to Zombie strolling down the hallways. As he turns the corner he finds Boy Bakla and Connoly waiting for the cue to enter the arena. Zombie rolls his eyes and still finds it confusing that he has been put in some sort of team with the two in front of him. Zombie looks to Connoly and shakes his head. Past experiences show that the following match is going to go anything other than smoothly.

Zombie: "You two had better not get in my way! We get them down to one and then it's championship gold all the way!! For me!!"

Zombie looks to the two men individually.

Zombie: "But that's not to say that we can't work together! Sure we've had some differences in the past but I'm sure we can sort it out!! Just watch your back! You never know who might attack ya from behind!!"

Zombie grins menacingly, chuckles and looks to Connoly as he finishes speaking.


Boy Bakla looks at Zombie then at Connoly... It is clear that Bakla is already not pleased to be in the company of Connoly and Zombie, to say that to have an alliance with them would even be more preposterous, yet Bakla decides to swallow it's pride and replies.

Boy Bakla: "For just this match we are allies but once it's over... I definitely wouldn't want to be allied to both of you. Why? It's pretty simple, I don't like both of you, YOU appall me, everything about you, your rot, your stink, your biting of human flesh really turns my stomach..."

Bakla said looking at Zombie in the eyes. Looking at Connoly next...

Boy Bakla: "You... I don't even want to get into you. But yes, I see the practicality of working together tonight, but don't be mistaken, I see a chance to win that Correa title, I'm going for it."


Connoly leans against the wall and finishes taping up his wrist completely uninterested in the other two wrestlers. He tosses the roll of tape off to the side and looks up at Bakla and then too Zombie.

Connoly: "You know, Bakla has a point Scabby, you do stink, whats sad is even though Scabby here is a pile of rotting, decaying flesh, he still looks better than your plastic disfigured ass Bakla. Now lets not sit here and fool each other, there's no team here, just three men...,"

Connoly pauses and looks at Bakla

Connoly: "Two men...,"

Connoly looks at Zombie

Connoly: "Jesus Christ where do I work! OK, one man, a she-he, and a damn Zombie. Now the fact is, we have three competitors, and we have to eliminate all of them if any of us wants to grab that gold. So this ridiculous pairing is going to self destruct, we all know that, no mystery. We are going to work together while it suits us, so basically until there is one person left on team DWMA, then its every...thing for its self."

Connoly pushes himself off the wall and looks at his team mates.

Connoly: "The way I see it, I've already beaten the she-he several times, and I still owe you from last week. So let's face the facts, I'm better than both of you, and I'm walking away with that gold, and if I have to take you two out to get it, then so be it, frankly, it would be a pleasure."


Yuki Monotomo is strolling down the hallway with a box of Pocky when he hears the shouting among the "team" that he's supposed to face tonight. The ladies' man without his half-mask on strolls lazily up to the rag-tag group. As he approaches them he shakes his head to say no. Yuki chomps down on his Pocky and turns to leave, but turns back around. After finishing his chocolate-covered biscuit, he points to the group.

Yuki Monotomo: "You won't last long. You're not a team. You have to be made of humans to be a team. Not rotting flesh, plastic, and dust. This is going to just be a waste of my time. I probably won't even have to leave the ring. I'll just knock your."

Yuki points to Zombie and laughs.


Yuki Monotomo: "Head off because there's no brain to destroy. I'll then dent your."

Yuki points to Balkla and shakes his head.

Yuki Monotomo: "Plastic slash silicon behind. And you."


Yuki points to Connoly.

Yuki Monotomo: "I'll just punch you once and the dust'll fly out. Face it. There's no team. No humans. No chance of winning. A zombie technically shouldn't be able to move. Rigor mortis and whatnot. You need ligaments and muscle function to fight. Ligaments and muscle funtion, Zombie, they're required to move. But I guess you can't chow down on your teammates, so they're perfect for you. Plastic stays in one damn place. It's kind of a stationary object, so I'm not gonna go into more detail, Barbie cause I'm pretty sure that Hasbro didn't give you kung-fu grip. I'm also surprised Connoly will be awake during tonight's match as it will be past nine o'clock. Maybe you got in your nap early for this title match. Remember your medication old timer. I'm gonna go find your incredibly hot daughter. Peace out non-humans."

Yuki takes out another piece of Pocky as he continues his walk down the hallway past the "team". He gives the peace sign as he rounds the corner to go and get his mask before the match and to maybe talk to Raven.


Connoly looks at Bakla and Zombie, and then turns to look down the hallway towards where Yuki walked off.

Connoly: "OK, that changes things, now we have a reason to be a team, to knock that cocky little fucks teeth down his throat!"

Connoly turns back towards the other two wrestlers.

Connoly: "If we're lucky that little fuck will get to Raven and we'll only have 2 of the DWMA to worry about."


Zombie watches the whole scene smiling dryly.

Zombie: "How we can hope!! But another thing that little asshole seems to be forgetting is that the match is about to happen! He seems to going the wrong way! He'll have to forfeit the title and the match! AND likely to get a beating off your daughter!!"

Zombie continues to watch down the hallway.

Zombie: "Besides! We have more experience and skill combined that they don't stand a a single chance against a team of this caliber!"


Boy Bakla seems to be in a trance watching Yuki Monotomo's ass as he walked away...

Boy Bakla: "Mmm... Firm and bouncy... Oh you guys said something?"

The two wrestlers looks at Bakla clearly not amused.

Boy Bakla: "Oh don't get your panties up in a bunch... I heard everything you guys said. Forgive me if I don't completely throw my trust into the hat, in the end it is whoever who eliminates the last member of The DWMA who gets that title and forgive my cynicism but I think all three of us are hungry for the gold that sooner or later we'll turn on each other."

A stagehand comes and signals to the three wrestlers.

Boy Bakla: "Looks like it's almost time for our curtain call... I'm heading out first boys... Toodles!"

Bakla waves off both Connoly and Zombie and walks towards the entrance tunnel as the scene fades to black.






&

&

VS

&

&

Jasmine Lee: “Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a six man elimination tag team gauntlet match! This match will be for the Correa Grande Del Oro De DWMA. To win, one team must be completely eliminated. If the DWMA lose, then whoever pinned the final member will be the new holder of the Correa Grande Del Oro De DWMA! Introducing the first of the challengers, Connoly!”

"Shut Me Up" by Mindless Self Indulgence erupts over the arena speakers. After a few moments Connoly walks out onto the stage, he is wearing a green plaid kilt, white t-shirt, and a long black leather coat. He pauses on the top of the ramp, a confident smirk on his face as he scans the crowd. He walks down the ramp and the slides into the ring.

Jasmine Lee: “Introducing next, the second challenger in this match, Boy Bakla!”

Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to it's corner waiting for the match to begin.

Jasmine Lee: “Introducing next, the final challenger, Zombie!”

Creeping Death by Metallica plays as Zombie slowly walks out. Zombie strolls down to the ring and steps into the ring.

Jasmine Lee: “And now, the holders of the Correa Grande Del Oro De DWMA, Ray Kamaura, Leon Hinomoto, and Yuki Monotomo, The DWMA!”

The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura and Leon walk slowly to the start of the ramp. Following behind is Yuki Monotomo. All three superstars stop and the lights turn back on after lightning strikes behind them. The lasers continue as Ray and Leon slowly enter the ring. Yuki poses for the fans then runs to the apron. They go to diffrent ring posts and climb them and raise their arms into the air, then strike a pose. Yuki slides in the ring and humps the air in the direction of the female fans. The DWMA move to the same side of the ring as they wait for the match to begin.

Jim Jackson: “The DWMA are coming off of a hard loss to the Oriental Spices, where they lost their tag team championships.”

Brad Blood: “That’s too bad, but they need to suck it up and deal with it. If they worry about their rematch or if they think about that loss, then they are going to lose again tonight.”

Jim Jackson: “You’re absolutely correct. If the DWMA focus tonight, they could pull out a needed win to retain their belts.”

Brad Blood: “Especially against this group of wrestlers. None of them like each other, in fact, they have all had problems with one another. The DWMA just needs to capitalize on their inability to work together, and they’ll win. It’s as simple as that. On another note, I gotta wonder how it's weighing on Kamaura that he's just been outed as a donkey lover.”

Jim Jackson: "I'd say it'll be perfectly natural that he'd be angry at Q for that, after his run-in with him. But we'll have to see whether owning up to something like eating dirt and donkey meat is going to affect how Ray Kamaura performs tonight."

Jasmine Lee: “The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!”

Jim Jackson: “Leon Hinomoto and Yuki Monotomo exit the ring as Ray Kamaura prepares to start this match. Meanwhile, Boy Bakla, Connoly, and Zombie are arguing about who should start the match off for their team.”

Brad Blood: “Why? Isn’t it more favorable to not start this match off? You have a better chance of being the last one standing if you are in the ring for the least time possible.”

Jim Jackson: “They all want to one up each other it seems. The referee steps in and tells Zombie and Connoly to exit to the apron, which they do. Bakla and Ray move to lock up, but Bakla jabs Kamaura in the eye! Bakla kicks Kamaura’s knee out before DDTing him to the mat! Cover!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One…”

Brad Blood: “Ray easily tosses Bakla off at one. Bakla punches Ray a few times before pulling him into a front facelock and walking him towards Connoly. Bakla reaches out, but Connoly ignores him! Kamaura lifts Bakla over with a northern lights suplex!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two…”

Jim Jackson: “Bakla pops a shoulder up at two. Ray pulls it up and body slams Bakla to the mat before dropping an elbow onto Bakla’s implants. Ray drags Bakla back to its feet before irish whipping Bakla into the corner. Ray follows up with a huge clothesline before tagging out to Leon.”

Brad Blood: “Leon grabs Bakla by the arm and whips Bakla at Ray who boots Bakla in the face! Leon punches Bakla repeatedly in the stomach before whipping Bakla onto the mat. Leon tags Ray back in before irish whipping Bakla into the ropes and sending Bakla flying with a double back body drop! Ray goes for the pin! One pervert on top of another!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two…”

Jim Jackson: “Bakla’s out at two! Ray looks a bit frustrated. He grabs Bakla by the hair and drags it to the corner. He goes to slam Bakla’s face in the turnbuckle but Bakla blocks it and slams Ray’s face into the turnbuckle instead! Bakla runs over and slaps the chest of Connoly.”

Brad Blood: “Connoly and Kamaura step face to face. They exchange a few words before both running to different ropes and then flying into each other with shoulder blocks! Neither man goes down! They charge at each other again, but this time Ray jumps and takes Connoly out with a flying shoulder tackle! That move was powered by dirt and donkey!”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly scrambles to his feet only to be dropped with a huge clothesline! And a second! Body slam from Kamaura! This isn’t looking good for Connoly. Ray drives him into the corner before tagging Leon back in. Leon walks to the center of the ring before charging at Ray. Ray lifts him up and over for a big clothesline on Connoly! As Connoly falls out of the corner, Leon grabs him and slams him into a tree of woe! Tag back to Ray.”

Brad Blood: “Ray and Leon stomp on Connoly while he’s hung up before the referee finally intervenes to get him down. As soon as he’s down, Kamaura grabs Connoly and slams him to the mat with a back suplex! Cover!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two…”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly kicks out before the three. Ray kicks Connoly in the face before climbing onto the turnbuckle. He leaps for a leg drop, but Connoly rolls out of the way! DDT from Connoly!”

Brad Blood: “Connoly is feeling the momentum shift! He irish whips Kamaura into the corner before peppering him with punch after punch as the referee begins his count.”

Don Q Hotte: “One! Two! Three! Four…”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly stops just before the five count. He walks away before running back in with a clothesline! Bulldog from Connoly! As Ray tries to get up, Connoly jumps and stomps his head into the mat! Connoly goes for the cover!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Thr…”

Brad Blood: “Kamaura barely manages the kick out. Connoly is signaling for the Bloody Sunday, but Bakla just tagged itself in! Connoly looks annoyed but exits the ring.”

Jim Jackson: “Boy Bakla mounts on top of its opponent and starts slapping away hard with a series of slaps until Ray is knocked out from the force of the slaps! What a vicious Bitch Slap Symphony! Bakla grinds against Kamaura as the referee counts.”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Three!”

Jasmine Lee: “Ladies and Gentlemen, Ray Kamaura has been eliminated!”

Brad Blood: “Leon tried to save Ray, but didn’t make it in time! Hahaha! The leader is the first man eliminated! This has to be embarrassing, considering that the donkey fucker was also the one who passed out from a chick’s submission hold to lose the tag team championships!”

Jim Jackson: “Leon hits Bakla on the back of the head with an elbow before raining punch after punch upon the transvestite’s face! Leon pulls Bakla onto his shoulders, but Bakla hits Leon with a few hard elbow shots before sliding down his back and again slapping the chest of Connoly.”

Brad Blood: “Connoly and Hinomoto exchange a few punches before Connoly takes him down with a neckbreaker! Connoly bounces off of the ropes before kneeing Leon in the face! Leon could be unconscious as Connoly goes for the cover!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Thr…”

Jim Jackson: “Leon barely recovers in time to kick out. Connoly drags Leon over to Yuki and tries to get Yuki to tag in, but to no avail. Frustrated, Connoly tries to punch Yuki, but Yuki ducks and grabs Connoly before dropping to the floor and snapping Connoly’s throat on the top rope!”

Brad Blood: “As Connoly staggers back, Leon drives him into the mat with a samoan drop! Leon climbs onto the top rope before leaping back onto Connoly with the moonsault! He hooks both legs!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two…”

Jim Jackson: “But Connoly doesn’t go down that easily. Leon flapjacks Connoly’s throat onto the top rope before driving a knee onto the face of Connoly. Cover!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two…”

Brad Blood: “Connoly forces Leon off of him, but it’s clear he’s having trouble breathing. Leon puts his hands around Connoly’s throat and squeezes as the referee counts.”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Three! Four…”

Jim Jackson: “Hinomoto relents before the count of five before going right back to that illegal choke!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Three! Four…”

Brad Blood: “Leon drags Connoly over to the ropes and puts Connoly’s throat on the second rope before pushing on Connoly’s back with his knee!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Three! Four…”

Jim Jackson: “Leon pulls Connoly off of the ropes and goes for the cover!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two…”

Brad Blood: “But again, he only gets a two count. Leon forces Connoly into the air before dropping to his knees and crushing Connoly’s throat on his shoulder! Hinomoto hooks both legs for a pin attempt.”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Thr…”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly kicks out again, but one has to wonder if it’s wise. He might be risking injury by his continuing in this match.”

Brad Blood: “And if he lets himself be pinned, he loses his chance to win the Correa. Leon pulls Connoly over to the corner before tagging out to Yuki. Double straight jacket neckbreaker! Yuki covers Connoly!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Thr…”

Jim Jackson: “Again, Connoly manages to kick out. Yuki and Connoly had a bit of a confrontation earlier today. Connoly has wanted to get at Yuki, but I don’t think he expected to get him like this.”

Brad Blood: “Leon Hinomoto basically handed Connoly to Yuki on a silver platter. Yuki slams a few hard forearms into the back of Connoly before suplexing him to the mat.”

Jim Jackson: “Yuki tries to lock Connoly into a gogoplata, but Connoly lifts him into the air and slams him down hard into the mat! Connoly tries to crawl to his corner, but Yuki grabs a foot. Connoly kicks him off and tags Zombie.”

Brad Blood: “Zombie charges in for a clothesline, but Yuki ducks and connects with a kick to the gut. Spinning neckbreaker! Yuki tries for a cover, but Zombie kicks out before the referee can even begin his count.”

Jim Jackson: “Yuki pulls Zombie into a headlock, but Zombie pushes him off before clotheslining him to the mat. Big body slam from Zombie! Zombie goes to pull Yuki up, but Yuki kicks him on the temple before pulling him into a small package!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two…”

Brad Blood: “Zombie was able to kick out at two. Yuki quickly tags in Leon before climbing onto the turnbuckle. As Zombie gets to his feet, Leon throws Yuki at him! Yuki slides out of the ring as Leon goes for the pin.”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two…”

Jim Jackson: “No luck for the outnumbered champs. Leon goes to irish whip Zombie into the ropes, but Zombie sends him into the ropes instead. Spinebuster from Zombie! Zombie lifts Leon onto his shoulders before driving him to the mat with a death valley driver!”

Brad Blood: “Did you see that? Connoly just made the blind tag!”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly walks right into a high dropkick! DDT from Leon! Leon tags Yuki. The two men lock arms before running Connoly down with a double clothesline! Yuki drops down for the pin.”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two…”

Brad Blood: “Connoly again powers out. Yuki kicks Connoly on the head before showing off for the female fans. As he turns, Connoly grabs him and hits him with an Olympic Slam out of nowhere!”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly follows that up with an air raid crush! Yuki is laid out! Connoly is again signaling for the Bloody Sunday, but Bakla once again tags itself in!”

Brad Blood: “Connoly looks pissed! He wanted to beat Yuki. Bakla and Connoly argue, but the referee steps in and forces Connoly to exit the ring.”

Jim Jackson: “Bakla slaps the downed Yuki across the face before dropping a leg across his throat. Bakla with the cover!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Thr…”

Brad Blood: “Leon barely breaks up the pin attempt in time! Bakla doesn’t look disturbed though. Bakla stalks Yuki, but Connoly reaches out and grabs a handful of Bakla’s hair! Bakla yelps in pain.”

Jim Jackson: “Bakla works to get its hair out of Connoly’s grasp before arguing with him. When Bakla finally turns around, Yuki sweeps the leg before locking Bakla in the White Dragon Hold! Bakla reaches out to Connoly and Zombie, pleading for one of them to help, but neither budge! Bakla is forced to tap out!”

Jasmine Lee: “Ladies and Gentlemen, Boy Bakla has been eliminated!”

Brad Blood: “As Bakla is released from the submission hold, Bakla begins throwing a tantrum! The referee tries to get Bakla to quit screaming at its partners and leave, but Bakla just gives him an earful. Connoly enters the ring, but gets kicked in between the legs by Yuki! Bakla sees Yuki roll Connoly up and points it out to the referee.”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Thr…”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly, despite the discomfort in his loins, manages to push Yuki off just before the three. Yuki tags out to Leon, who walk right into Connoly’s arms! Brainbuster! Zombie calls out for the tag, and Connoly obliges.”

Brad Blood: “Zombie grabs Leon and slams his face into the turnbuckle a few times before pulling him to the mat with a neckbreaker! Cover.”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two…”

Jim Jackson: “Leon kicks out at two. Zombie bounces off the ropes, but Leon springs up and catches him with a dropkick! Leon climbs onto the top rope…flying elbow drop finds nothing but canvas!”

Brad Blood: “Zombie grabs Leon by the ears and powerfully headbutts him! Zombie covers Leon after the Deadbutt.”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Three!”

Jasmine Lee: “Ladies and Gentlemen, Leon Hinomoto has been eliminated!”

Jim Jackson: “The DWMA have been at a disadvantage this entire match, and now it’s down to just Yuki. He was the last man standing in the last six man elimination match he participated in, could he pull it off again?”

Brad Blood: “It’s highly unlikely. He’s going against a dead guy and one of the most badass men in professional wrestling. Look at Yuki, he doesn’t even want to get in the ring!”

Jim Jackson: “Yuki finally climbs into the ring. He charges at Zombie, but Zombie Deadbutts him! Zombie drops down for a cover.”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Thr…”

Brad Blood: “Connoly just pulled Zombie off of Yuki! Zombie follows Connoly as Connoly exits to the apron. He argues with Connoly but Connoly just slaps Zombie! The referee is signaling that that counts as a tag!”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly climbs into the ring. Connoly bounces off the ropes and runs towards Yuki, lifts his leg and kicks Yuki in the jaw with the heel of his boot! Bloody Sunday! Connoly holds the shoulders down for the pin.”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Thr…”

Brad Blood: “Zombie kicked Connoly in the head to break the pin up! He pulls Connoly to his feet before pulling Connoly into a clothesline! He drags Connoly to the corner before tagging Connoly’s hand.”

Jim Jackson: “Zombie dives onto Yuki for the pin!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Thr…”

Brad Blood: “Connoly pushes Zombie off of Yuki just before the three! Zombie gets in Connoly’s face, but Connoly pushes him away! The two start exchanging punches, but Zombie grabs Connoly by the ears and Deadbutts him out of the ring! As Zombie turns around, Yuki pulls him into a small package!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Three!”

Jasmine Lee: “Ladies and Gentlemen, Zombie has been eliminated!”

Jim Jackson: “Yuki has evened the odds, but he doesn’t celebrate. He rolls out of the ring and grabs Connoly before lifting him and rolling him into the ring. He follows Connoly in and covers him! Could Yuki not only retain the Correa, but also be the one to eliminate all three of his challengers?”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Three!”

Brad Blood: “No! Connoly got his foot on the bottom rope! This match is going to continue, much to the dismay of Yuki!”

Jim Jackson: “Yuki pulls Connoly to his feet, but Connoly suddenly lifts Yuki into the air before slamming him onto the mat head first! The Belfast Slam! Connoly throws an arm over the shoulders of Yuki!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two! Three!”

Jasmine Lee: “Ladies and Gentlemen, Yuki Monotomo has been eliminated! The winners of the match via complete team elimination, Connoly, Zombie, and Boy Bakla!”

Brad Blood: “By pinning the final member of the DWMA, Connoly is the new holder of the Correa! This is a horrible month for The DWMA, they lost all of their gold in the span of two weeks!”

Jim Jackson: “Indeed. It’s too bad for them. Congratulations to Connoly though for becoming the new holder of the Correa.”

Brad Blood: “I get the feeling that Connoly is going to have a busy month ahead of him.”




ZERO CALORIES!!!

ZERO SUGAR!!!

ZERO FAT!!!




Available in stores everywhere.





The scene opens in the office of the vice-general manager of the United League of Lunatics, Eunice P. Winslow. The feisty old lady who watches over the roster of ULOL has summoned Taufik who is standing before her and had just recently returned to active duty. A deep concern is etched on the face of the VGM of ULOL as she reads a file in front of her. She puts the file down after browsing it and addresses the Singaporean wrestler.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Taufik, I have just read a report from our company doctor Dr. Booboo B. Gone, and he has written here that despite his advice, you have insisted that you return to active duty. I in good conscience cannot allow you to wrestle without an all-clear from the doctor. Of course the choice is still yours but after the severe injury you suffered last month you are lucky you walked away fairly unscathed other than suffering from some memory loss. What if you sustain more permanent injuries?"

Eunice sighs heavily as she pours herself a cup of tea.

Eunice P. Winslow: "I'm not stopping you from wrestling mind you but I just want you to take more time to recover... Maybe regain more of your memories before you make your in-ring return. What do you say Taufik?"

Eunice waits for Taufik to reply.


Taufik pulls a chair and sits down, he then takes a moment to think before giving out his answer to Eunice P. Winslow.

Taufik: "I know the condition I'm in isn't really ring ready but no matter what in the condition I'm in, I am still sticking to my decision to re-join the active roster. I have already decided on this, I know you have worries about this but there are things I have to do and sitting down in the infirmary will not achieve my goals."

Taufik then stands up and continues to speak.

Taufik: "Right now, I want to continue doing what I love and that is wrestling. I have some unfinished business to settle so even if I have to fight in this kind of condition, so be it. I have done so many wrongs here that I need... No... I want to have the opportunity to correct those wrongs no matter what the cost to my body is. What do I have to do Mrs. Winslow?"


Eunice P. Winslow sighs heavily and takes another sip from her tea.

Eunice P. Winslow: "I guess there is no stopping you then Mr. Taufik? If you really must compete though, I would have you sign a waiver. This frees ULOL of any further responsibilities if something should happen to you. It also frees the good doctor of any faults since it is you who went against his advice."

The VGM of ULOL pulls out a piece of paper from her desk drawer and slides it towards Taufik.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Just sign on the dotted line Taufik, I shall get this document notarized after."


Taufik takes a look at the waiver he received from Eunice, looks through it and then signs it on the spot. He then turns his attention back to Eunice.

Taufik: "Eunice, you asked me to sign a waiver, I have signed it. So now you can put me back into the active roster. Since you want me to rest so badly, I will rest just one more week for your sake then I'm back in the roster."

Taufik then waits for Eunice to answer and take the waiver from Taufik.


The VGM of ULOL takes a look at the document, satisfied with it, she files it in her drawers then looks at Taufik.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Well now that that's done with you can take your leave Taufik."

As Taufik turns to leave.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Oh one more thing, next time call me Mrs. Winslow and not by my first name."

Taufik nods and quickly exits the room as the scene fades to black.




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PostSubject: Re: Ole! Ole! Ole! OLE! (The oles lied! El Generico is nowhere in the building!) 08/28/2011   Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:57 am



Lex Lexington can be seen flying through the air and landing in a conveniently placed pile of boxes in the backstage area. The camera turns to show Shogun standing with a microphone in his hand.

Shogun: "Jim Rival I tried to save you from what is going to happen to you tonight. I tried to warn you away from making the fatal mistake of costing me my chance at revenge."

Shogun sighs audibly

Shogun: "I heard that our match tonight was turned into a hardcore match. Do you know what happens to people who face me in hardcore matches? They never come back! Rival you picked a fight with the wrong guy this time. I`m going to tear you limb from limb tonight! You are going to wish that you never heard the name Shogun uttered!"

Shogun: "And to you Troy, when I finish with your lapdog Rival I am coming straight to your fucking doorstep! Fuck the Primo Ultimo! I want your blood on my hands! If you refuse to stop screwing me over I will just have to force you to stop myself."

Shogun: "So when you see the utter destruction of Jim Rival take place in a moment realize that what I will do to you will be much...much...worse!"

Shogun pushes the cameraman out of the way as the screen fades to black.




VS

Jim Jackson: "Well the next match can be considered a grudge match of sorts. Jim Rival under the command of Marcus Troy has been griefing Shogun Shogunsen. The result, this match was scheduled to settle things between the two men."

Brad Blood: "There were rumors that Shogun has requested that this match be a hardcore match... I don't know if it is true but..."

The ULOL Tron suddenly comes to life and we see the image of ULOL's vice-general manager on the big screen.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Good evening, late last night, I received a request from Mr. Shogunsen that the match tonight be changed into a hardcore match. I have studied his petition and have found that his request is just. Therefore, the next match has been changed from a singles match into a hardcore match."

The ULOL Tron blinks off as the crowd starts to cheer.

Jim Jackson: "Well I'll be... I guess the rumors are true."

Brad Blood: "WOO! Hardcore match! This will be bloody awesome! Look! It's a shopping cart of weapons and objects being wheeled into ringside by the staff!"

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a hardcore match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Jim Rival!"

"Seven Secrets Of The Sphinx" by Therion erupts through out the arena as Jim makes his way to the ring at a slow pace. A black background with only the golden outline of a cross leaning back is all that appears on the ULOL Tron, occasionally flickering in an almost violent fashion. As Jim finally makes it to the ring he takes off his button down shirt, placing the black armband bearing the same cross back over his left arm before entering the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Jim Rival's return to ULOL was when he teamed up with Taufik to try and take out GoodFella & Schwarz. After Taufik got injured and the tag team came to an abrupt end, Jim Rival offered his services to Marcus Troy."

Brad Blood: "Well I heard down the grapevine that Rival owes Troy a debt of gratitude. It was Marcus Troy who paid for his rehabilitation when he was still an alcoholic."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Shogun Shogunsen!"

"Hybird Stigmata-the Apostasy" by Dimmu Borgir hits the speakers suddenly as the lights in the arena begin flashing on and off. As soon as the first lyric is screamed Shogun bursts out from the hind the curtain to the roar of cheers mixed in with boos. The wrestler has the same golden belt around his waist. When he makes it down the ramp Shogun quickly rolls into the ring and faces his opponent.e.

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen, ULOL's first Primo Ultimo has been very vocal about his disdain for Marcus Troy and Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing."

Brad Blood: "Which is a bad move, if he stayed in Troy's good graces, he may still be the ULOL Primo Ultimo until now."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Jim Rival charges in first but ends up running right into a stiff lariat! Irish whip by Shogun Shogunsen on Rival sends him back first into the turnbuckles... Here comes Shogunsen..."

Brad Blood: "Oh! Shogunsen just ate turnbuckles as that avalanche missed it's mark! Jim Rival dove out of the way at the last possible second. Rival exits the ring and brings in a kendo stick!"

Jim Jackson: "Jim Rival with a couple of sharp strikes leaves some marks on Shogun Shogunsen's chest! Rival going for a thrust... Shogunsen dodges and rolls out to grab his own weapon in the shopping cart."

Brad Blood: "I wonder what Shogunsen will get? It's a... Poster of Justin Beiber?! Shogunsen rips the poster in half and scrounges for another weapon just as Rival descends on him..."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen spins around just in time with a golf club and parries the kendo stick strike! OH! Jim Rival gets hit right on the ribs with that golf club! Shogunsen grabs the shopping cart and rams it into Rival! Shogunsen grabs a STOP sign... Right on the head of Rival! Rival doesn't know where he is!"

Brad Blood: "Rival is clinging to the steel railings trying to steady himself. Shogunen is up on the ring apron with a steel chair... This won't end well for Rival if it connects."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen leaps with the steel chair... Jim Rival with brass knuckles intercepts him and punches him right in the gut! Irish whip by Rival sends Shogunsen crashing into the steel steps! Rival starts slamming Shogunsen's head unto the steel steps! One! Two! Three! Four! Five!"

Brad Blood: "Damn, look at that! Shogunsen's forehead looks a tad raw. Rival dented those steel steps! Rival looks for a steel chair and throws it into the ring. Looks like he has something nasty planned here..."

Jim Jackson: "Jim Rival rolls Shogun Shogunsen back into the ring. He picks up the steel chair he threw inside the ring and then proceeds to wedge it into the corner between the turnbuckles... I think I see where he is going with this... Rival attempts to Irish whip Shogunsen into the corner... REVERSED! Shogunsen reverses the Irish whip and it's Rival who is sent crashing back first into the steel chair! Rival stumbles forward... Facebuster!"

Brad Blood: "Well that backfired badly... Rival should have pounded on Shogunsen more before executing that Irish whip... Shogunsen rips the steel chair from the corner. Oh! Head shot! I'm glad we still allow head shots here not like in some other big feds out there."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen drops the chair in the middle of the ring... He drags Jim Rival to his feet... DDT right into the steel chair! I think that opened a small cut on Rival's forehead! Shogunsen is not done... He picks Rival up... Powerslam right into the steel chair! That's twice Rival's back has met the unforgiving steel!"

Brad Blood: "Shogunsen exits the ring and looks under it... He drags out a table! Shogunsen sets the table outside... Oh maaan... Rival better get up or he's going to be in big trouble... Shogunsen enters the ring again to go after Rival."

Jim Jackson: "Jim Rival throws a punch but Shogun Shogunsen dodges! Brainbuster by Shogunsen! He drags Rival to the ropes... He is planning to suplex Rival into the table below! Low blow! Rival with a low blow stops Shogunsen! Rival wipes the blood off his brow and hits an enziguri! Shogunsen stumbles, Rival leaps on the rope, springboard hurricanrana on Shogunsen... AND SHOGUNSEN FLIES OVER THE TOP ROPE AND CRASHES INTO THE TABLE HE HIMSELF SET UP!"

Brad Blood: "I guess one good backfire deserves another. Jim Rival goes to the littered stuff outside the ring, I think something just caught his eye! It's a mop! Rival grabs a soda from the crowd and pours it into the mop... Now he grabs a beer... Man, this will be messy... Rival with that soaked mop walks over to Shogunsen... OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!! Right in the face!"

Jim Jackson: "Jim Rival with a few mop strikes unto Shogun Shogunsen before discarding the mop. Rival rips the protective mat covering the concrete floor. He tries to pick Shogunsen up for a bodyslam... Shogunsen counters! It's Rival sho gets slammed into the unprotected concrete! Shogunsen rolls Rival into the ring and follows, he hooks the leg..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Th..."

Brad Blood: "Oh man, close call for Rival, good thing he kicked out at the last second. Shogunsen grabs Rival's legs, looks like he's going for his Figure Four leg lock finisher!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen stands over Jim Rival who is lying on the mat face up and grasps his leg, Shogunsen then does a spinning toe hold and grasps the other leg, crossing them into a four locking in the Figure Four Leg Lock! He has Rival locked in tight! Rival tries to reach for the ropes! No good! Rival is too far away! Rival looks like he's in trouble... Wait! Rival is trying to flip the both of hem over! Can he do it? Shogunsen tries to counter Rival's attempt... We see the pain etched in Rival's face but he hangs on... Rival with the last of his strength pushes himself one last time... HE MAKES IT! Rival successfully flips over and reverses the figure four! The pressure is now on Shogunsen's legs!"

Brad Blood: "Whoa! Rarely do we see Shogunsen's figure four leg lock get reversed. Impressive of Rival to manage that, still I think that took a whole lot out of Rival. Shogunsen somehow is able to disengage his legs from Rival's. Rival quickly slips out and throws a steel garbage can into the ring. Rival gets up to the apron, Shogunsen is there waiting for him!"

Jim Jackson: "Jim Rival dodges a hook from Shogun Shogunsen, grabs his head and brings his neck down unto the top rope! Shogunsen stumbles back! Rival enters the ring. Irish whip sends Shogunsen to the ropes, dropkick connects! Another Irish whip sends Shogunsen to the ropes... Discus clothesline sends Shogunsen down! A third Irish whip by Rival and this time he uses the steel garbage can and smashes it unto Shogunsen's head!"

Brad Blood: "Shogunsen goes down. Rival smashes the garbage can a few times more into Shogunsen's head just to make sure he stays down. Rival goes for the cover! Will this do it? The referee goes to the canvas!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen kicks out and gets a pop from the crowd! Jim Rival drags Shogunsen to his feet. Shogunsen with a big right hand from out of nowhere rocks Rival! Rival stumbles a few steps and retaliates with his big right uppercut!"

Brad Blood: "That probably loosened a few teeth. Rival and Shogunsen are trading blows. Eye poke from Rival blinds Shogunsen for a moment! Rival with a double knee facebreaker sends Shogunsen reeling! Oh man! Rival signals for his finisher... This could be it!"

Jim Jackson: "Rival sets the dented steel garbage can in place. He's going to drive Shogunsen into the steel garbage can with his finisher! If this hits, it may be over for Shogunsen. Jim Rival sets Shogun Shogunsen in a reverse DDT soon after lifting them halfway into the air... NO! Shogunsen somehow twists out of Rival's grasp! Kick to the midsection stuns Rival! Shogun Shogunsen lifts Jim Rival up into into the air in a half nelson and then into a backdrop position before slamming Jim Rival down to a sitting position, slamming the back of his neck to the steel garbage can executing a Muscular Bomb!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man! That was BRUUUUUUUUUTAL! Rival is not moving at all! Shogunsen hooks the leg!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall, Shogun Shogunsen!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen with a great victory after a brutal match. It looks like he has finally avenged himself from all the grief Jim Rival has caused him under Marcus Troy's instructions... Shogunsen is celebrating his win in the ring..."

Brad Blood: "Wait! It's not over yet! Rival is back with the ringside bell on his hands, he whips Shogunsen around... WHAT THE?! IT'S TAUFIK! JIM RIVAL'S OLD TAG PARTNER TAUFIK JUST ENTERED THE RING AND RIPPED THE BELL FROM RIVAL'S HANDS! This new Taufik blows!"

Jim Jackson: "Taufik seems to be berating Jim Rival on his actions... Rival has had enough! Jim Rival sets up Taufik in a torture rack before flipping Taufik up and over into an Implant DDT executing a LEGENDARY Waters of Nazareth! Rival hit his own partner with the Waters of Nazareth! He turns around... He forgets about Shogun Shogunsen who picks him up again for another Muscular Bomb! Wait! Rival somehow slips free and hastily makes his exit!"

Brad Blood: "Rival is making his way back up the ramp as Shogunsen checks up on Taufik... Maybe that Waters of Nazareth will knock some sense back into Taufik..."






HUFF! HUFF! HUFF!

The heavy breathing of the overly wide wrestler also known as The Morbidly Obese Man is heard by everyone in the vicinity backstage. Walking to the cooler backstage The Morbidly Obese Man rips the 5 gallon water container from it's dispenser and starts to chug it all down. He throws the empty water container away and breathes a sigh of relief.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "HAHA! Finally! I lost those bastards! I can't believe Q's countrymen chased me around for almost a week. Those tenacious bastard! But finally here backstage I am safe from them."

But just as The Morbidly Obese Man slumps down to the floor to rest, he hears some voices approaching. As the voices get clearer, a deep chill went through the big wrestler's spine as he notices that the voices are speaking in a foreign language, the same foreign language which the mob that chased him for almost a week was using.

Voice of a Person Speaking in a Familiar Foreign Tongue: ["I'm glad that our benevolent hero Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing have sent all of us backstage passes so that we can meet him backstage before his championship match tonight against that... What's that wrestler's name again?"]

Another Voice of a Person Speaking in a Familiar Foreign Tongue: ["I think it was Robert Conway! Yes, I believe that is his opponent's name. Still these backstage passes must have been difficult to procure. To think our most gracious sports icon Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing actually gave all one hundred and eighty of us backstage passes really shows us how much he values us, it is a shame we couldn't catch that sweaty mountain of man meat that has wronged our benevolent hero making his vein pop and almost causing his death."

A bead of sweat ran down the brow of The Morbidly Obese Man as he tries to quietly depart, yet luck was not on his side as he accidentally kicks the discarded water container which he dropped on the ground earlier.

Voice of a Person Speaking in a Familiar Foreign Tongue Who Heard the Noise and Noticed TMOM: ["IT'S HIM! THAT HUGE MOUND OF CELLULITE WHO ALMOST CAUSED OUR BELOVED QUIOAECAOPEDIDWAZHAPZHING HIS LIFE! GET HIM!"]

The Morbidly Obese Man watches in horror as one hundred and eighty pair of eyes suddenly shift to his general direction.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Aw crap! Not here too!"

The big man breaks into a run as the mob gives chase as the scene slowly fades to black.




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VS

Jim Jackson: "This is the moment everyone has been waiting for, the main event of the evening. Alexander Conway will be battling Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing for the ULOL Primo Ultimo!"

Brad Blood: "You got that right, I'm so excited I can cream my pants! Conway is a former Primo Ultimo and current Ligero Maximo, Q on the other hand is a former Ligero Maximo and current Primo Ultimo. This will be one heck of a battle."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is falls count anywhere match scheduled for one fall and is for the ULOL Primo Ultimo! Introducing first, he is the challenger and current reigning ULOL Ligero Maximo, Alexander Conway!"

"Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F blares throughout the arena as Alexander Conway steps out from the backstage of the ULOL. He looks over the booing audience before he walks down to the ring.

Jim Jackson: "A win against Shogun Shogunsen last week in the number one contender grand prix secured Alexander Conway this chance to win the Primo Ultimo a second time. Though one does wonder that if Jim Rival haven't interfered, will we be having a different main event this evening."

Brad Blood: "Conway is also the current Boleto Dorado holder, the golden ticket that allows him to challenge for any title anytime. If he manages to win tonight, he still has another free title shot at either the Campeónes Compañero or the Correa Grande Del Oro... He has the possibility to become the first triple crown winner!"

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, he is the current and reigning ULOL Primo Ultimo, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Nu-metal music begins to play as a highlight reel of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing runs on the ULOLTron. A horde of reporters and photographers gather at the stage entrance, taking pictures and giving a blow by blow of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's every move as he steps out for his match. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing waves to the fans as he slowly makes his way to the ring.

Jim Jackson: "One of the most enigmatic and eccentric personality to grace the United League of Lunatics ring, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing has kept the ULOL enthralled by his mysteriousness and charisma."

Brad Blood: "Eccentric? Isn't that just a nice way of saying weirdo? Seriously I don't understand Q. He is a great wrestler no doubt but you have to wonder what goes on under that mask of his."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing lunges in right away towards Alexander Conway. Conway throws a punch but Q dodges under it and bounces back on the ropes. Clothesline to Conway's back connects! Q again heads towards the ropes, springboard corkscrew kick sends Conway stumbling back this time. Again Q dashes past Conway and uses the ropes to gain momentum. Bulldog plants Conway to the canvas! The crowd is on their feet!"

Brad Blood: "Wow, right off the bat, Q isn't holding any punches, Conway didn't know what hit him. Q is the faster wrestler of the two but if Conway does get hold of him, Conway's technical ability may ground Q's quickness. Q hooks Conway's leg hoping to get an early pinfall."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Kick out by Alexander Conway at two. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing with an Irish whip sends Conway to the ropes. Conway hangs on the top rope and stops himself. Q charges in, Conway pulls the top rope down and Q goes over! Q lands on his feet outside the ring but Conway slingshots himself of the top rope with a flying crossbody!"

Brad Blood: "Bullseye! Conway has Q pinned outside! The crowd is on their feet cheering as referee slides out and goes for the three count."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Q gets a shoulder up a two!"

Jim Jackson: "Alexander Conway with a couple of hard stomps on Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing before dragging him to the steel steps. Conway with an Irish whip sends Q crashing into the steel steps. He then jams Q's face into the steel steps! Conway drags Q up to the steel steps... He picks Q up for a bodyslam... Q wriggles free and counters with a facebuster instead unto the hard cold steel.!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man Q really planted Conway into those steel steps. Q looks like he's going for a high risk move... He climbs up to the top turnbuckle... Conway shakes the ropes and Q loses his balance! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Q's voice probably went an octave higher."

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is in a precarious position, Alexander Conway leaps up to the apron and climbs up the turnbuckles... SUPER FRANKENSTEINER TO THE OUTSIDE! The crowd is on their feet! Q is not moving at all! What a move by Conway!"

Brad Blood: "But Conway may have also hurt himself with that move. Conway crawls back to his feet slowly... He inches towards Q for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing gets a shoulder up just at the last moment. Alexander Conway gets up and he tries to lock in a knee bar on Q. Q somehow manages to wrest himself free before Conway can lock it in. Q stumbles to his feet, Conway with a double axe handle unto Q's back sends him back to one knee. Shining wizard by Conway! Q goes down! Conway for the cover."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Q again gets a shoulder up! Conway throws Q back into the ring and follows... Looks like fighting outside the ring takes a heavier toll on the body. Conway is playing it smart bringing the action back into the ring."

Jim Jackson: "Alexander Conway grabs Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's arm locks in an armbar! Q is struggling to reach for the ropes. He squirms his way closer to the ropes. Conway is getting dragged little by little still with a firm grip on Q's wrist. Q makes it and gets a rope break! Conway quickly applies a headlock but Q somehow wrenches his head free. Conway spins around right into a standing lariat by Q! Q leaps unto the ropes... Springboard legdrop to the back of the head! Q hooks the leg!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Conway kicks out at two! Seems that Q is still suffering from the effects of that super Frankensteiner... Look at him, he's clinging to those ropes just to support himself."

Jim Jackson: "Alexander Conway struggles up to his feet... Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing with a rolling kick sends Conway stumbling to the ropes! Q charges in... Clothesline connects and both men go over the top rope! Amazingly both land on their feet and now start brawling! Conway returns the favor and hits a standing clothesline sending Q over the steel railings!"

Brad Blood: "Conway and Q start brawling into the crowd. They are making their way up the steps. Looks like the crowd is enjoying having the action brought to them."

Jim Jackson: "Alexander Conway manages a big right which wobbles Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. The crowd clears out as Conway attempts to slam Q's head into a chair. Q blocks the attempt and counters! Now it's Conway's head which gets slammed to the vacated seats."

Brad Blood: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! I think Conway's busted open! One lucky crowd member now has Conway's blood on his seat. Conway ignoring the blood dripping from his forehead starts brawling again with Q. They make their way back to the steel railings and over it!"

Jim Jackson: "Snapmare by Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing sends Alexander Conway to the ground. Q leaps off the apron... Moonsault! Conway rolls away at the last moment but Q lands on his feet. Both wrestlers return back into the ring."

Brad Blood: "Both men look really spent at this point. Both Conway and Q are breathing really hard. Ooh! Now they charge at each other and lock arms in a test of strength!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing somehow gets a hammerlock on Alexander Conway! Conway with a few hard elbows to Q's head gets free! Conway pulls a hurricanrana out of nowhere and sends Q flying across the ring! Q struggles to his feet... Tornado DDT by Conway plants Q's head into the canvas! Conway for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Q gets a shoulder up! Conway really thought he had it there. Look at the surprise on his face. Looks like Conway is going for the legs, looks like he's gonna turn Q over for a Boston crab."

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing tries to battle it out and swings a few punches from his back. Alexander Conway abandons the Boston crab attempt, catches Q's arm and now transitions into a crossface! Conway has to crossface locked in! Q's free arm flails wildy trying to reach the ropes..."

Brad Blood: "Oh man, those ropes are just a few inches from Q's reach... He tries to inch over... Conway tries to add more pressure to the hold trying to make Q tap out... Q makes it to the rope!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing lucks out and gets out before too much damage has been done to him. Q gets back to his feet but Alexander Conway grabs him from behind and hits a hard back suplex! Irish whip sends Q to the corner. Conway charges in he leaps and his spinning high kick catches Q right on the jaw! Q slumps down into the canvas."

Brad Blood: "Well Conway seems to have things back under control again as he stomps away on Q in the corner. This is Conway's chance to ground the high flying Q."

Jim Jackson: "Alexander Conway sets Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing up on the top turnbuckle... I think he's going for a superplex. Conway tries to lift Q up... NO! Q's legs lock on the top turnbuckle. Conway tries to pull Q away, Q starts throwing hammer fists down on Conway's back! Big knee by Q connects and Conway falls off the turnbuckles!"

Brad Blood: "Uh-oh, Conway is down on the canvas, Q is on the top turnbuckle... This may spell disaster for Conway, whatever Q has planned will certainly... HOLY CRAP!!!"

Jim Jackson: "CORKSCREW 630° SENTON SPLASH CONNECTS! The crowd is going wild! Alexander Conway just got flattened! Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing quickly goes for the cover but the referee points out that Conway's leg is on the bottom rope!"

Brad Blood: "Q almost had it there. Conway's awareness of his surroundings saved him from a possible one two three!"

Jim Jackson: "Quiaecaopedidwazhapzhing drags Alexander Conway to the middle of the ring. He gets a waist lock on Conway... Conway reverses and now he has the waist lock on Q! Q spins out of Conway's grasp, Conway turns around... Spin kick by Q to the face sends Conway flying across the ring!"

Brad Blood: "Q is hyping up the crowd who is clearly getting behind the champ. Conway clearly is still a little groggy after that kick... Q goes in for the kill!"

Jim Jackson: "FORWARD SOMERSAULT CUTTER CONNECTS! Alexander Conway is in deep trouble! Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing leaps on the middle rope for a springboard moonsault... CONWAY SOMEHOW GETS HIS KNEES UP ON THE LAST SECOND! Q is down! Both men are down on the canvas!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "The ref has begun the ten count! Uh-oh... This may actually end in a double count out if no one gets back up soon."

Jack B. Nimble: "Four! Five! Six!"

Jim Jackson: "Both men are struggling to get up... Each wrestler using the ropes to help himself climb up... The crowd is at the edge of their seats holding their breath..."

Jack B. Nimble: "Seven! Eight! Nine!"

Brad Blood: "Finally both men get to their feet, albeit unsteady... The crowd are now cheering wildly. What a match... I even hear a few Conway chants from the crowd now."

Jim Jackson: "The crowd appreciates good wrestling and this is good wresting Brad. We are now hearing "LETS GO CONWAY!" and "LETS GO Q!" chants from the crowd though Q still seems to have the majority of the cheers. Both wrestlers are looking very weary now."

Brad Blood: "Weary is an understatement Jim. They both may not be even standing without the help of the ropes for support. Q starts to move or should I say stumble forward... Conway follows suit..."

Jim Jackson: "Both wrestlers charge at each other with everything they got! Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing trips on his own leg and falls head first into Alexander Conway's midsection flipping Conway into the air in an accidental back body drop! It may be an accident but it sure did put Conway to the canvas!"

Brad Blood: "Conway struggles to his feet. Q charges in with all of his strength for the kill. I think he knows he better finish this soon or there won't be a winner... Conway dodges! Alexander Conway forces Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing to his knees before pulling Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's head backwards... It's the Signum Victoriae! NO! Q escapes the hold!"

Jim Jackson: "Big kick stuns Alexander Conway! Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing grabs Alexander Conway and drills Alexander Conway into the mat with a mighty crunch executing a devastating Ditwabiaosiahdiswehankiamma! Conway is not moving at all!"

Brad Blood: "Q for the cover! This could be it!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall and STILL your ULOL Primo Ultimo, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing has done it! After a grueling back and forth battle, Q has won and retained his championship belt!"

Brad Blood: "Wait! What's that commotion on the top of the entrance ramp?! IT'S THE MORBIDLY OBESE MAN! He seems to be scuffling with some of Q's countrymen who Q has allowed backstage for a visit.... They are mobbing TMOM, those countrymen really hold long grudges, they are still blaming TMOM for a few weeks back when he angered Q so much a vein in Q's head popped... TMOM JUST STARTED THROWING Q'S COUNTRYMEN OFF THE TOP OF THE ENTRANCE RAMP!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing looks enraged as he sees The Morbidly Obese Man manhandling his countrymen... Q charges towards TMOM! Both men start brawling on the top of the entrance ramp! The Morbidly Obese Man reaches in between his love handles and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles. He then busts his opponent open with the brass knuckles hitting Q with a sneakily morbid Love Handle Surprise!!! Q is down! The champ is down!"

Brad Blood: "Wait! Conway just realizes that Q is out! Conway is cashing in his Boleto Dorado! The golden ticket has been cashed in! Alexander Conway rushes up the ramp!"

Jim Jackson: "Alexander Conway pulls Quioaecaopdidwazhapzhing into a front facelock before scooping Quioaecaopdidwazhapzhing into the air and spiking Quioaecaopdidwazhapzhing's head into the ground with a Northern Lights Bomb executing the Signum Excellence! Conway for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall and your NEW ULOL Primo Ultimo, Alexander Conway!"

Brad Blood: "CONWAY JUST WON THE PRIMO ULTIMO!!! HOLY CRAP! The crowd can't believe what just happened! Conway took advantage of the situation, cashed in his Boleto Dorado and won ULOL's top belt!"

Jim Jackson: "What a turn of events this is... Unintentionally The Morbidly Obese Man's late entrance has allowed Alexander Conway to steal the title away from Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing."

Brad Blood: "Uh-oh, looks like a section of the stands with Q's countrymen are starting to riot! TMOM has already disappeared backstage... Conway takes stock of the situation, raises his newly won belt in the air angering Q's countrymen more before he heads to the back leaving Q unconscious on top of the entrance ramp... What a night... What a night..."


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PostSubject: Re: Ole! Ole! Ole! OLE! (The oles lied! El Generico is nowhere in the building!) 08/28/2011   Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:57 am

Jim Jackson: "What a pay-per-view! I'm sure everyone watching tonight agrees when I say they got their money's worth. Not only did we have a great undercard match with Colton Charles Cai Cobb versus"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson, even the triangle match where Andrew Hunter won a chance at the Ligero Maximo was explosive. And how could we even forget the hardcore battle where Shogun won? This is truly a night to remember..."

Brad Blood: " Every title defended tonight changed hands! First we have the ULOL Campeón No Masculino which Raven won from Lady Bianca de Sade with the help of her cane. Then we had the Correa Grande Del Oro which the elder Connoly won from Yuki Monotomo and The DWMA... But what really blew everyone's mind was when Alexander Conway cashed in his Boleto Dorado right after losing his title match to win the ULOL Primo Ultimo from Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Jim Jackson: "Well Q will probably have a lot to say come next week. So don't expect things to settle down yet, the effects of the PPV may create a bigger wave that will engulf the whole of ULOL. But I guess we'll really find out next week won't we? So on behalf of my partner Brad Blood, this is Jim Jackson saying good night and thank you for watching!"


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PostSubject: Re: Ole! Ole! Ole! OLE! (The oles lied! El Generico is nowhere in the building!) 08/28/2011   

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Ole! Ole! Ole! OLE! (The oles lied! El Generico is nowhere in the building!) 08/28/2011
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