Lucha Loco 06/05/2011

Subject: Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:23 pm

Jim Jackson: "Good evening and welcome to Lucha Loco folks. A lot of things happened last week in Cojones Grande and the aftershock is still felt throughout the whole of ULOL."

Brad Blood: "That's right Jim, first of all we have new champs, including the Oriental Jobbers! Well I guess they can't be called jobbers anymore right?"

Jim Jackson: "That's right, they have finally been rewarded for their hard work. We also musn't forget Alexander Conway and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson, both had successful title bids last week and took home the championship gold."

Brad Blood: "And of course who could forget Raven's accidental misfire that sent Musashi to the hospital?"

Jim Jackson: "Well I'm sure after that recap the fans are eager to see what happens next so without further ado, LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

The camera opens up on a room in a hospital ward.
The room looks normal until the camera falls onto Zombie strapped down on a hospital bed with tubes sticking out of him everywhere.
He appears to be watching TV which shows a repeat of the PPV. He grinds his teeth as he witnesses his fight and all the interferences.
When the scene of UJJ holding the title appears, Zombie begins to vibrate with rage.
The sound of the door opening attracts the cameras attention as a doctor walks in cautiously.

Doctor: "So.... How is the p-p-patient feeling today?"

Zombie snaps his head to look at the doctor who jumps in fright.

Doctor: "I'm af-f-raid you lost a-a-lot of blood at that PPV Zombie so........"

The doctor is cut off by a nurse poking her head through the door.

Nurse: "S-S-ir.... There is someone outside to see you."

Doctor: "Brilliant, Ill be right back Zombie."

The Doctor sprints out of the room locking the door.
Zombie looks back to the tv still annoyed as he listens to the chattering outside his door.

Doctor: "You are here to Visit that thing? Why? Judging by the way you are dressed you are about to perform an exorcism on that guy? Are you? Please say you are, it would help me soo much.........."

Zombie hears the description of the visitor as his eyes widen instantly.
He looks to the door as he tries to break free of his bonds.

Doctor: "OK sir. Go right in but I warn you. Those bonds aren't as strong as they look."

The door opens as Zombie turns to look at the visitor.
Through the door steps the towering form of Chriso who takes his hat off and sits by the bed looking at Zombie.

Chriso: "Quite a situation you got yourself into Zombie...........
You are here rotting from your injuries.........
AND you have lost that title of yours............
To make things even worse...........
You decided to cost me my match and gave me my first loss............"

Chriso looks as Zombie gnashes his jaws inches from Chriso's face.

Chriso: "I think that TV has turned you sour.........
Let me change the channel........."

Chriso gets up and inserts a disc into DVD player.
Resident Evil pops up on screen as the movie begins.

Chriso: "This is your favourite movie isn't it?..........
Witnessing your kind being so brutally killed.........."

Zombie watches as countless Zombie heads explode. He lets out a roar of rage.

Chriso: "If I wanted........
I could so easily end your miserable existence here and now.........
But I have already said that i want you fit and healthy for when we clash............
I want everyone to see that I am the dominant one between us..........
Just like you yourself know it to be true........"

Chriso returns and stands by the bed reaching into his overcoat pocket.
He pulls out a card and props it on the bedside table. The front reads "get well soon".

Chriso: "I just wanted to wish you a speedy recovery.........
Because the moment you are better Zombie..........
I will be hunting you..........
And there is nothing you can do about it...........
Your time has come............
the time to honour yourself will soon be at an end!!!"

Zombie roars again and breaks free of one of his bonds. He fiddles with the other hold on his other arm as Chriso smiles and calmly walks out of the door.
Zombie breaks free just as Chriso disappears. He runs to the door and opens it to have a Welsh Dragon with a Christian Cross Pendant swing from above into his face.
He looks around but there is no sign of Chriso anymore.
He picks up the strange symbol pendant and looks at it before crushing it in his hand and grinding his teeth.
Suddenly an alarm sounds through the hospital.

Alert!!! Alert!!! Patient 32C has escaped!!!!
Evacuate immediately!!! This is not a drill!!!! All security it Wing D now!!!! Repeat. This is NOT a Drill!!!

Zombie turns and walks off down the corridor as security forces flood the room behind him searching.

The scene opens in a darkened room on a ward. Zombie now calm on his bed. His eyes constantly scan the ceiling above. His legs and arms all restrained to the bed. The restraints now made from tough steel. He looks around the ward he is in and it is deadly silent. A nurse comes in and she sees that Zombie is still awake.

Nurse: "You should go to sleep Zombie!"

Zombie looks at the nurse annoyed at her constant nagging.

Zombie: "For the last time! I do not sleep!"

Nurse: "I know that man scared you before..."

Zombie: "I am NOT scared! I'm used to that bastard and his trickery! I just do not sleep! Now leave me alone and sort out that noisy dickhead next to me will you?"

Nurse: "What do you mean? The ward is silent."

The nurse goes over to the next bed and pulls the curtain open. She puts a hand over her mouth in shock.

Nurse: "What have you done?"

Zombie: "Don't blame me! I've been here restrained to the bed the whole time!"

The camera pans over to the bed and zooms in between the open curtain. A man is in his bed and is clearly already dead. The bed is soaked in blood and the man has a large chunk taken out of his neck.

Nurse: "Who else would do THAT?"

She points to the huge bite mark in the man's neck. Zombie just shrugs his shoulders with what seems to be an innocent look on his face.

Zombie: "I wouldn't do that! He was an alright guy!"

Nurse: Fine! "But I do need to ask will he turn into a zombie?"

Zombie: "Nah I had wanted to ... Shit!"

Nurse: "I knew it! Damn you Zombie!"

Zombie: "Night! I'm going to sleep!"

The nurse shakes her head in disbelief as Zombie turns on his side away from the nurse and pretends to fall asleep.

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

"Andrew Hunter", the name of what was once a winless jobber, is plastered to the door which the shot opens upon. The camera turns to the left, showing that the door is completely open, and the cameraman just wanted to look at shiny gold painted star with a name and multiple nails on it. The cameraman proceeds to enter the room, which appears to be completely empty. Right, left, right again the shot turns, but it's literally completely empty.

???: "They put the star on the wrong door."

The shot turns completely around, revealing Andrew Hunter standing right outside the door, looking at the star.

Andrew Hunter: "It wouldn't have been so bad... if they hadn't nailed the sign on."

Andrew sighs lightly before directing his eyes to the camera.

Andrew Hunter: "But enough about the fact that nobody cares even the slightest bit about me! Because guess what? I did what I said I would."

Andrew proceeds into the room, the empty room, before continuing.

Andrew Hunter: "I was not beaten. As I pointed out last week, none of my matches after my return required me to be beaten. Tossed over the top-rope, be at the wrong place at the wrong time; yes. But not beaten."

Andrew Hunter: "However, many critics, or at least the ones who know my name, may say that the only reason I won was because of Zombie's interference. To answer those critics, Chriso attacked the referee. After the chair shot, he made his way back to his feet and ate a Final Gambit. Then I had to go back outside the ring, pull up the referee, slowly wake him up, then proceed to cover Chriso for the win. However, Chriso had over thirty seconds to regain his wits after my Final Gambit landed. He lost not because of the chair shot, he lost because of me."

He points to his chest before he continues.

Andrew Hunter: "Believe me, I would have preferred it if Zombie just stayed in his locker... "designing" a new belt. In fact, I had originally planned to walk out to the ring and call out Chriso for a rematch. However, I'm already scheduled for a match against AJ, a fellow jobber."

Andrew pauses for a brief moment, regathering his thoughts.

Andrew Hunter: "The hardest part of climbing the ladder is getting through the crowd at the bottom. At this point; everyone fits under that category. I will win my match tonight. That's a promise, and I don't make promises I can't fulfill."

Andrew raises his hand and looks at his bare wrist, as if looking at watch.

Andrew Hunter: "Oh, look at the time. I should probably start getting ready for my match, eh?"

Andrew lowers his wrist and cracks a small grin. He turns around, and starts leaving the room, but stops in front of the star again.

Andrew Hunter: "Seriously, who would nail a sign to a door?"

Andrew keeps a stare at the star as the shot begins to fade.

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

A Coyote Howl is heard throughout the arena as the entrance is covered in smoke. Godsmack's Whiskey Hangover begins to play as Allister king and Samantha Collins walk out to the entrance ramp. Allister takes a deep breath before heading down to the ring. He holds the ropes for Samantha to enter. He walks to retrieve a microphone before entering the ring

Allister King: "The time has come for us to end this. Callahan and Shogun, You believe the universe revolves around you. Oh how the sun must shine out of your fucking asses. In in this company, for the time being at least, I am King! And as far as you two are concerned by word is law."

Allister breaks to take a deep breathe

Allister King: "At the Pay-Per-View, You tried to take me out. You left me blooded and weak in my own office. But ya screwed up big time. I wasn't unconscious. I cleaned myself up, shook off the beating and me and Bakla cost you the titles."

Allister grins as the crowd cheers

Allister King: "Oh No! Was I not suppose to? Well guess what? Fuck the rules! There is an ancient saying that most people live my. An Eye for An Eye and A Tooth for a Tooth. We have had the eye for an eye now its time for tooth for tooth."

Allister smiles to Samantha who smiles back.

Allister King: "Tonight I have scheduled a little match. Me against Shogun."

The Crowd goes mad.

Allister King: "And if you, Callahan, try to interfere. I will make damn sure you and Shogun never get another shot at the Tag titles or any title for that matter. Next week you will face Bakla. Oh the fun to be had. Ya never know, if thinks go as planned we will be seeing a whole lot more of each other."

A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals hits the speakers. After a moment fire spouts from the entrance ramp and "The Demonic God" Shogun can be seen walking through. The familiar emotionless expression can be seen glued to the mans face as he makes his slow decent down the ramp towards the ring to the fans dismay. Soon Shogun enters the ring and takes a mic from an awaiting ring hand where where he now begins to speak.

Shogun: "So...We beat the Age of Pain just like I said we would...We made sure they remember the Anarchists. However as if by cue someone had to screw me over. No one seems to be able to win a match against me without first getting help by some means or another...Bakla you may have stopped the Anarchist from winning the ULOL Campeónes Compañeros but you will not be able to stop me from taking back what is mine. You see I said that I would be chasing my title and I was not lying. Despite the loss of the title match I refuse to simply lay down and wait for my rightful shot."

Shogun shakes his head a few times before speaking again.

Shogun: "No tonight I have a match with the general manager himself. I have no idea what force has compelled you to do something as stupid as to book yourself in a match against me Allister. I do however know that you have made a grace mistake. Though I have an idea. Seeing how I know you will never give me a title shot again, how about we make this match a little more interesting. If I win I will be granted a guaranteed shot at the Primo Ultimo championship at ULOL`s next PPV. If I lose you may choose my fate."

Shogun lowers the mic and waits for a response from Allister.

Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and joins the other two wrestlers in the ring.

Boy Bakla: "You talk as if title shots fall from trees Shoggiewoggie! Seriously you think you can make Allie here bend over that easily to your whim? Tsk... I've been trying to no avail... Try again... Allie here isn't stupid enough to just grant your wish just like that."

The transsexual superstar walks circles around the two wrestlers...

Boy Bakla: "If you get a title shot at the Primo Ultimo then of course I should get one too... In fact I also propose that I get a title shot in the PPV if I win my match against Shadow Callahan... Just to make things a little interesting. I'm sure the Unstoppable Johnson won't mind having a threesome..."

Bakla lowers the mic as the crowd chuckles loudly.

A bombastic orchestral arrangement by Danny Elfman starts to play, interrupting the dialogue already going in the ring. A MANOLO FERRER PRODUCTION appears on the big screen, followed by a highlight reel of the man himself, leading various members of the Age of Pain to the ring, celebrating, and doing things that managers usually do. The man himself appears, quickly heading to the ring.

Manolo Ferrer: "You'll have to pardon me. Overheard a few things that caught my attention."

He enters the ring, and points to Shogun.

Manolo Ferrer: "This man is trying to get a shot at the Primo Ultimo championship, even though he just lost his own title shot at Cojones Grande. If he's going to get a match with a title shot as a reward, then I'm out here to have the same thing happen for Mr. Taufik."

Mr. Ferrer then finds the other people in the ring staring at him.

Manolo Ferrer: "I'm looking out for my client's best interests. If you're going to give Mr. Shogun what he's asking for, there's absolutely no reason you can't do the same for Mr. Taufik"

Shogun looks at Manolo Ferrer, then turns his gaze to Boy Bakla before chuckling audibly.

Shogun: "You know I remember much better competition the last time I was in the world title race."

Boos from the crowd can be heard.

Shogun: "Whoa whoa whoa let me finish folks. What I am trying to say is when I was world champion I faced credible competition for my title. Look at this debacle that is about to take place. WE have a thing that has a lust for ruining title shots and the manager of a man who I destroyed in my first match in the company. A man who probably could not lace his own boots without the help of his manager. A man will all the wrestling skill of a retarded chimpanzee and yet Manolo Ferrer you wish to place him in the ring with the Demonic God?!?"

Shogun shakes his head before speaking again.

Shogun: "And you Bakla! You must remember how easily you were trounced in the tag team match our two parties participated in! You and the GM who I`ll be decimating later got into the ring and were made an example of! You stand almost as much of a chance as Taufik does at this point."

Shogun: "Speaking of standing a chance how about we talk about our new champion! The man who needed the help of not one! Not two! But THREE men just to get the victory!"

Shogun: "The man who said HE could beat Zombie could not get a victory without a legion of help! It looked more like an Age of Pain match than a title match! I have never seen a more disgraceful victory in all my years in this business."

Shogun: "How about this...You can put as many idiots into the match as you want. Hell why don't we add that moron Musashi at this point just to see how much stupid you can cram into one match before the entire arena loses what little IQ they may have!"

Shogun: "No matter how many of you come out the results will remain the same. When I receive a shot for MY Primo Ultimo championship I will win. That title will go BACK around the waist of its rightful owner and all will be correct in the world of wrestling once again."

Manolo Ferrer waits for Shogun to finish. He then walks up to the man, and tells him pointblank.

Manolo Ferrer: "Little Wang: 1. Shogun: 0."

He repeats it. Slowly.

Manolo Ferrer: "Midget: 1. Shogun: 0. You want to talk about credibility? Wrap your head around this: you were pinned by a midget in a title match."

Mr. Ferrer again repeats the score.

Manolo Ferrer: "Midget: 1. Shogun: 0. That's going to stick with you. That's going to be the asterisk to everything else you ever do here. You win another title? So what? You were defeated by a midget in a title match. You lost to a man who is literally less than half your size. You could have dug deep and kicked out, but you didn't. You couldn't do it. You snuffed it."

Boy Bakla listens closely at the tirade between The Demonic God and The Manager of Champions before deciding to intercede...

Boy Bakla: "This talk of little wangs bore me... I prefer my wangs big and stout..."

The crowd chuckles loudly.

Boy Bakla: "But seriously, your clients also lost the title to the midget didn't they? So they are also on the same boat as Shoggiewoggie over here. So why don't you ditch those clients of yours and manage someone like me Manny? You don't mind if I call you Manny right, you big brown mound of sexual hawtness you."

Bakla winks at Manolo Ferrer which sends goosebumps down his spine.

Boy Bakla: "Now this little thing is between Allister, me and The Anarchists so why don't you leave us to our discussion Manny... If you want to see me so bad, I can visit you after hours... I'll even wear my latest Victoria's Secret lingerie which I just bought. You like purple lace right?"

Mr. Ferrer wears a half-frown as he responds to Boy Bakla.

Manolo Ferrer: "Oh the lineage of the Campeones Companero will show Oriental Spices being the next Champions after Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz. But our title defense was an elimination match. Sure, we weren't among the last two teams in the match, but we certainly didn't lose the Campeones Companero to the Spices. No. Having Mr. Wang score the one, two, three on him is Mr. Shogun's crowning achievement in godhood."

The manager returns his attention to Shogun.

Manolo Ferrer: "Maybe you should reconsider having Mr. Taufik as an opponent again, Mr. Shogun. After having a little man less than half your size beat you..."

Mr. Ferrer lets his statement go unfinished.

Allister Yawns and taps manolo on the shoulder who turns around to look at Allister

Allister King: "Hi, yeah remember me? I'm the one who has been standing here twiddling my thumbs as you idiots argue out of topic. Look, Why the hell Manolo do you insist on being involve in everything?"

The Crowd Cheers

Allister King: "No joke, nearly every time I come out here somehow you show up and dance around shouting ''Look at Me! I be a Manager!'' but truthfully no one cares. The Same shit over and over again. Answer me this, How many times have you used that scoreboard shit against shogun? Hmmm?"

Allister takes a deep breath.

Allister King: "I came out here for a reason and thanks to you coming out and turning everything about you I have completely forgot where I was going with it or even what it was. So do me a favor, run along now before I actually get pissed off and punch you myself. Go on. run along little piggy, and let us get back to what we were talking about."

Disbelief crosses Mr. Ferrer's face, before he answers the General Manager.

Manolo Ferrer: "We were talking about giving my client, Mr. Taufik, a title shot for the Primo Ultimo Championship. We were also talking about Mr. Shogun having a match against you, in a chicken suit, with both hands tied behind his back. I hope those requests aren't unreasonable enough for you to get hostile on me, Mr. King."

Boy Bakla walks between Manolo Ferrer and Allister King.

Boy Bakla: "Nooo! Don't hurt my sexy chocolate man Allie!"

Bakla looks at Manolo...

Boy Bakla: "Listen here Manny, I see you giving your all to give your client Taufik a good run but seriously, shouldn't your talent be more useful managing a bigger superstar? Like me for example? Seriously Taufik's career has gone no where unlike your other clients GoodFella, Schwarz and Conway... Your talents are just wasted on Taufik... You're familiar with my history and my capabilities, I have been multiple champs not only in ULOL's pre-Marcus Troy era but also in other federations as well. Before you go campaigning Taufik, think about it. I mean right now, your client will probably get decimated by either me, Shogun or even the current champion "Unstoppable" Johnson... That would really send his career down the crapper right?"

Bakla smiles as he traces a finger over Manolo's broad chest.

Boy Bakla: "Shoggiewoggie may have lost but then again my "Petunia" is more responsible for that, so I should take the credit for his loss and not a little wang... Why don't you think about it Manny... Allie here has threatened with violence which I'm sure is the reason why you have your clients in ringside with you now but going against the GM? You should know better. I like you Manny and I like Allie too... Okay maybe Shoggiewoggie's cute ass too... So it'd be a shame to see such senseless violence which may mar your husky beefy body... Why don't you leave us to settle our differences first, I'm sure you'd see the advantage of letting Taufik pick over the remains of our battle."

The manager of the Age of Pain gives Bakla a curt answer.

Manolo Ferrer: "Even though you got involved in the match, it's still Mr. Shogun's own fault for not taking advantage of it. Isn't that right, Mr. Shogun?"

Mr. Ferrer earnestly, and unexpectedly, asks Shogun.

Manolo Ferrer: "We're talking about the same Demonic God who prides himself in using riots and misfired chairshots to his advantage. And he didn't do it. Was that really you, or someone from the demon god temp office?"

He abruptly turns away from Shogun to talk to Allister King.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. King, I only came out here to protect the interests of Mr. Taufik. If you're going to give this man a guaranteed opportunity at the Primo Ultimo title just after he got beat by a midget, then Mr. Taufik, who was most certainly not on the short end of a little man's pinfall, deserves as much. I can be out of this roleplay thread as soon as I have an answer."

Allister looks at Samantha and they both laugh

Allister King: "Protect the interests of you client or to protect the amount of screen time you get."

Allister brushes his hair from his face

Allister King: "At no point during this entire discussion have I even remotely mention giving someone a title shot? I have talked about taking them away but not giving them. And it seems everyone wants one. I might as well give a title shot to that guy, ya see him? that guy with the belly overflowing from his T-shirt?"

The Fat guy stands up and celebrates

Allister King: "Sit down fatty, you won't be getting one."

He then points to Shogun

Allister King: "You're not getting one."

He points to Bakla

Allister King: "You're not getting one."

He points to Sammie.

Allister King: "She's not getting one."

He points to himself

Allister King: "I'm not getting one. So what makes Taufik deserve a title shot because he your client? Who wants to be your client? You are in more matches than the clients your suppose represent. These guys are trying to get you to represent them but they don't need your help. Hey look at me, I don't even want it. If your wrestlers want a title shot, then they should talk to me personally to show that they have the balls to do something they have to pay someone to do for them. Now here's the deal on one condition. Taufik gets the title shot if You."

Allister walks closer to Manolo

Allister King: "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE RING!!"

Allister stares directly at Manolo

Bakla pouts and again speaks his mind before anyone else can get a word in...

Boy Bakla: "Well if Taufik is getting a title shot and I'm not what do you say I get Taufik if he LOSES that title shot? I mean I've never had an Asian before... I heard they can be pretty exotic..."

Bakla's reaction gets serious again as the chuckling from the crowd dies down...

Boy Bakla: "Seriously then, let's get back to business and that's the dismantling of The Anarchists... Yes, it would be great to finally finish this and put this all behind us, after that I can concentrate on getting the titles here in ULOL..."

Shogun blinks a few times before speaking again.

Shogun: "You know I sometimes fear for the sanity of you morons."

Shogun: "Manolo you can sick Taufik on me ANYTIME you wish. Any damn time. I will twist him into a pretzel, put him in a nice wrapped gift box, and send him back to your doorstep in the broken heap he will become."

Shogun: "Now to you Allister. If I will not be receiving a title shot for decimating you tonight I guess I will just have to relish in making you suffer for that little plot you pulled. Tonight may very well be the last night you EVER step into a ring again. When I finish you maybe the next GM will actually give a talented individual a title shot instead of handing it to every random man who happens to have a problem with the current champion."

With that Shogun drops the mic and proceeds to exit the ring.

Mr. Ferrer lets Shogun make his hasty retreat; his attention still on the General Manager, Allister King.

Manolo Ferrer: "We've got a deal then, Mr. King. I wish you and...Mister? Miss? Boy Bakla success with the Anarchists."

He makes his exit, quipping offhandedly.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Shogun wrestling in diapers, with both hands tied behind his back. I'm sure your fans would like to see that, Mr. King."

The manager of champions steps out of the ring.

Boy Bakla looks at Ferrer walk away then turns to Allister King...

Boy Bakla: "Oh c'mon Allie, you gave Taufik a title shot at the PPV? Why not make it a foursome then? It will get you more ticket sales you know... The winner of your match with Shoggiewoggie and my match with Shadow Callahan also gets a title match in the PPV. C'mon Allie... Pretty pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeeee?!"

Bakla looks at the general manager fluttering it's eyelashes...

Allister face palms

Allister King: "Why am I always the one people ask for title shots? It's not fair!"

Samantha Collins: "But you are the general manager and giving title shots is about of the job."

Allister King: "Yeah, I should have read what I was getting myself into."

Allister stands silent looking back and forth at Shogun and Bakla.

Allister King: "I will think about it."

Allister drops the microphone and begins to leave with his wife.

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

VS

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Andrew Hunter!"

"New Divide" by Linkin Park blasts through the arena. Andrew Hunter appears on the top of the ramp, straightening out his elbow pads. He cracks a grin as he begins walking down the ramp. He slaps the hands of the fans on his left, followed by the fans on his right, seeming to enjoy the spotlight. He slides underneath the ropes and quickly bounces back up, jumping up on a turnbuckle and staring into the audience.

Jasmine Lee: "And now, introducing his opponent for the evening, AJ!"

'Tears Don't Fall' by Bullet For My Valentine starts blaring over the arena. After a few seconds AJ bursts out of the tunnel. He stops at the edge of the stage and looks at the arena. He smiles and walks down the ramp. He climbs the apron and then climbs the turnbuckle. He raises his arm up high to the fans, who respond with boos. AJ climbs down and enters the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Tonight, it will be AJ vs. Andrew Hunter. Both of these men have had a very difficult time getting noticed."

Brad Blood: "That's because they are both losers! Andrew Hunter never won a match until last week's FLUKE win over Chriso. I mean, I didn't mind seeing the freak lose, but the fans going crazy over a fluke is getting on my nerves."

Jim Jackson: "Andrew has ended his losing ways last week with the upset that my partner has just mentioned. It wasn't without controversy though, as Zombie hit Chriso in the back of the head with a steel chair, enabling Andrew to hit the Final Gambit. Andrew needs a win tonight to remove the doubt from his critics, while AJ needs a win to ensure that he keeps his job!"

Brad Blood: "Yeah, this isn't a charity, if you can't succeed, there is no reason to be here."

Jim Jackson: "It makes me wonder why we still have you around, Brad."

Brad Blood: "Shut up, Jim."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this contest is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "As the bell rings to start this match, Hunter's attention goes to a fan at ringside. As Hunter is distracted, AJ sneaks up behind him and rolls him up for the pinfall attempt!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Right off the bat, Hunter nearly loses this match after taking him focus off of his opponent."

Jim Jackson: "Hunter gives AJ a solid kick to the thigh before connecting with a kick to the temple! As AJ gets up, he walks into a very high dropkick from Andrew!"

Brad Blood: "Andrew with the irish whip sends AJ to the ropes, but AJ uses the momentum to quickly get over them and onto the apron. As Hunter comes charging in, AJ drives his shoulder through the second and third rope and into Andrew's stomach."

Jim Jackson: "AJ uses the opportunity that was created to flip over Andrew. Grabbing his legs, he pulls Andrew to the mat and into a cover, but Andrew gets a shoulder up before the ref can even begin to count."

Brad Blood: "Keeping a hold of a leg, AJ stomps Andrew's midsection before quickly grabbing Andrew's other leg. AJ entwines Andrew's legs with his own, before rolling Andrew over and leaning back!"

Jim Jackson: "Oh no! The Sharpshooter is locked in! Andrew could be in some serious troub....is Andrew twiddling his thumbs?"

Brad Blood: "Wuhahahahaha! AJ didn't apply the Sharpshooter correctly! And he doesn't even realize it, hahaha!"

Jim Jackson: "You're right. He's yelling at Andrew to tap out and at the referee to ask him to tap out. He doesn't realize that he isn't doing any damage!"

Brad Blood: "AJ is still trying with the sharpshooter. Hunter rolls his eyes at AJ's attempts before turning over and kicking AJ in the head."

Jim Jackson: "Hunter clotheslines AJ before scooping him up and sending him back down with the bodyslam. Hunter bounces off the rope before kicking a sitting AJ inbetween the eyes. Hunter grabs AJ's legs, entwines them around his own before turning AJ over, and leans back! Hunter returns the favor with his own sharpshooter!"

Brad Blood: "Wow, he applied it correctly, unlike AJ, who is now screaming out in agony! He begins dragging Hunter towards the ropes before grabbing hold of them! Hunter is forced to release the hold."

Jim Jackson: "AJ quickly gets to his feet before kicking Hunter in the gut and irish whipping him into the corner. AJ follows him in and clotheslines him before pulling him out and DDTing him! AJ goes for the cover."

Don Q. Hotte: "One..."

Brad Blood: "AJ only scores a one count. AJ starts punching Andrew repeatedly before irish whipping him into the ropes. As Hunter comes back, AJ goes for the back body drop, only to be kicked in the face before being taken down with an enziguri kick!"

Jim Jackson: "Suplex from Andrew Hunter! AJ gets up and walks right into a flapjack. Hunter drops a knee onto AJ's head before going for the pin attempt."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "AJ manages to kick out at two. Andrew hits AJ with a hard forearm that sends him into the ropes. Andrew charges in, only to be flipped over and onto the apron."

Jim Jackson: "AJ thinks Andrew went over and down to the floor, he doesn't realize that Andrew hung on! As AJ turns back around, Hunter leaps before connecting with a twisting springboard tornado DDT! The Final Gambit! Hunter goes for the pin!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, Andrew Hunter!"

Jim Jackson: "A huge win for Andrew Hunter that may just finally silence his critics."

Brad Blood: "I hate when you start talking like that. One win isn't going to do it. He needs to consistently perform like this if he wants people to take him seriously."

Jim Jackson: "But you would agree that this is a step in the right direction?"

Brad Blood: "It is, but it's a very small step. He beat a jobber, that's all."

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:23 pm

Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. Little Wang pops up from in between her legs. It is evident by the bandages they have that they are both still suffering from the effects of last week's pay-per-view. Though despite the bandages, despite the cuts and bruises, both wrestlers wear a smile on their faces as they make their way down entrance ramp and enters the ring with the ULOL Campeónes Compañero belts around their waists. They bow and give their respect to the crowd before addressing them.

Little Wang: "Finally our efforts have come to fruitation! That's right, Oriental Spices have become the ULOL Campeónes Compañero!"

The crowd cheers loudly for their new tag champs. Little Wang raises his hand and the crowd settles down.

Little Wang: "The road has been hard for us, in fact look at our condition and even those who missed the PPV would know that we really went through hell to get these title. But despite the pain, despite the injury, despite the suffering, wearing these around our waists makes it worth it!"

The crowd cheers loudly again as Little Wang slips the title belt off his waist and raises it into the air.

Nao Fook Mi takes the mic from her partner.

Nao Fook Mi: "Yes, this has been a long hard road for us, we faced many defeats, yet you all stayed with us, you all cheered for us despite our losses, you all gave us the strength to keep going so these titles are not only our titles but yours as well! Thank you for staying behind us all this time."

Wang and Fook Mi both take a bow to the audience giving their thanks.

Nao Fook Mi: "Now comes the next chapter in our story. Retaining these titles we fought for so hard. I hope that we will enjoy your continued support for us as we face new challenges that comes with being champions."

The crowd cheers loudly again.

Nao Fook Mi: "The next thing that I now will be after is the . Raven, we have fought in the ring in the past, so next week, I will cash in my number one contender for that belt you are wearing. I hope you will be mentally prepared for me next week. I know that the events of the PPV may have shaken you a little but the Musashi incident was an accident."

Fook Mi pauses for a while then continues in a more serious tone.

Nao Fook Mi: "And finally, to Summer Bold, Gina "The Wild" Sheridan and Getter Team... Your attack was uncalled for, right now, Little Wang and I have our priorities already set but we will not forget how you've all wronged us. Despite what you did to us, we are still standing... So be prepared for after we've defended these titles and after I win the ULOL Campeón No Masculino, we shall settle the score."

Fook Mi drops the mic and she and Little Wang exits the ring as their music starts to play. The crowd cheers the new tag team champs on as they make their way up the ramp and exits to the back.

A voice over the speaker system cuts into their music.

Manolo Ferrer: "No. Hold it. Stop."

The new Campeones Companero find the Age of Pain's manager looming on the giant videoscreen above the stage. Satisfied that he has their attention, Mr. Ferrer speaks casually.

Manolo Ferrer: "Congratulations on finally finding your box of sunshine. There's one thing you're overlooking though. Your happy ending doesn't mean the end of my clients' story. Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz have a guaranteed rematch for the Campeones Companero."

The fans boo when they hear that, earning an exasperation eyeroll from Mr. Ferrer.

Manolo Ferrer: "Like you people wouldn't do the same thing if you were my clients. Anyway, whatever things you two want to work out with, what are they called? Team Gutter. Feel free to work things out with them however you like. But you're doing it without the Campeones Companero. Because the Age of Pain are going to get them back."

More booing is heard from the fans in response to Manolo Ferrer's declaration.

Little Wang steps forward and climbs up the ropes staring at the giant screen.

Little Wang: "You want a match? Fine! You have a match, next week Fook Mi is challenging for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino, but a week after that on the 19th, we're free to show the world that our win wasn't a fluke. So two weeks from now, Oriental Spices shall defend their tag team titles against GoodFella & Schwarz! And defend our titles we will!"

Little Wang lowers the mic and stares at The Manager of Champions as the crowd cheers loudly.

Manolo Ferrer nods in response to Little Wang's announcement.

Manolo Ferrer: "Some other team will eventually say you fluked your way to the titles. I just want to make sure you don't fluke the titles off to some other team. Because they already had their shot at the pay per view, and none of them have a guaranteed rematch clause for the titles."

He is quick to add.

Manolo Ferrer: "And before any two wrestlers pop up and talk about how Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz should put their guaranteed rematch on the line in some match? Forget it. My clients will do no such thing."

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

"One" from Metallica blast trough the speakers and sparks are showering as John
"Grey Skull" Johnson makes his way to the ring, he stops at some young fans the give some handshakes before he enters the ring, lightning hits the ring posts.

We see John "Grey Skull" Johnson asking for the mic once he got it he walks to the centre the ring and starts to talk.

John "Grey Skull" Johnson: "Well guys what did I say? I told you all I would beat The Masked Man and I did. Even when he was cheating he couldn't win this. Cheaters never win in the end. I hope I have made some sort of name for myself here by beating him. With that said and done let's move on to the next chapter here in ULOL."

John "Grey Skull" Johnson: "Is William LaCroix in the back because I have a challenge for you. After my PPV victory over The Masked Man I feel I can take on anyone here at ULOL. I think it's time I did some cleaning here."

John "Grey Skull" Johnson looks at the entrance and waits to see if LaCroix is coming out

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

"Sonne" by Rammstein begins playing over the speakers as William LaCroix steps out onto the ramp. He carries a scowl, showing his annoyance at being called out by a lightweight. He peers down at the ring as he begins to speak.

William LaCroix: "Who's that down there, is it Little Wang? Oh, sorry, my bad. It's just that guy I defeated two weeks ago. John Johnson....he may not be Little Wang, but he does have a little wang. I mean that both figuratively and literally."

The crowd give LaCroix a negative reaction as he turns to look at them, instead of at Johnson.

William LaCroix: "You see, this cowardly buffoon is trying to make himself look good by challenging me when I can not accept the challenge. Why can't I? That's obvious, I already have a match."

LaCroix points at Johnson.

William LaCroix: "He KNOWS that. He also knows that he has a match next week."

LaCroix directs his attention back to Johnson.

William LaCroix: "Your challenging of me is a joke, just like your win over The Masked Man. You defeated a jobber, big deal. Go back to the sandbox with the other toddlers known as the Lightweight division, and go get your ass kicked by them. I don't have time for you masochists."

With that, LaCroix tosses his microphone off the stage, before turning and walking back to the backstage of the ULOL.

John "Grey Skull" Johnson: "Hold it right there. What are you saying? Go back to the toddlers? Let me say that my win over The Masked Man was not a fluke. I will show you in a week when I have my fight. But just as I thought you are scared to face me scared of losing to a lightweight right. At least that is what I heard you say."

Johnson in facing the crowd.

John "Grey Skull" Johnson: "You all heard it, am I right. LaCroix is just a chicken afraid he will lose against a toddler? Can you all say "chicken"

The crowd start "chicken, chicken". We see Johnson just laugh when this happens.

John "Grey Skull" Johnson: "I'll tell you what LaCroix I'll give you sometime to think about my offer. If I think it will take to long I'll make sure you get me an answer."

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

The Scene opens with The DWMA sitting around a tv watching there match at the PPV. Yuki walks in and shuts the door and locks it behind him.

Ray Kamaura: "What happened... I mean... after all that hype and build up... we fail? How could this happen?"

A look of angry crosses Ray's face as he grabs the TV and throws in at the wall. Ray looks right at the camera.

Ray Kamaura: "Bold! Schwarz! Ichimonji! Tachibana! Listen close. I know you are watching this and it gives you all a sense of victory to see us down. But we are not out. You will see that when the game ends tonight. We are still hunting. Be warned!"

Ray grabs the camera and tosses it at the same wall as the TV. The picture fades but audio can still be heard.

Leon's voice can be heard but nobody can make out what he is saying except for certain exerpts.

Leon Hinimoto: "Lets... Move... Revenge.... Man whores... Crusty wangs.... Jackasses.... Broom sticks.... Large shafts.... black dudes... lotion rubbing... surger... Upside down... With a god damn pig."

Leon walks out the door.

Ray Kamaura: "That was sick! Who would do that with a forklift anyway?!"

Scene fades.

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

Manolo Ferrer is seen marching to Allister King's office. He finds the door locked, but raps his fist against it to see if anyone would answer.

The door remains unresponsive. So the manager decides to address the camera.

Manolo Ferrer: "I just found out a few minutes ago that my clients are going to wrestle the DWMA and Team Getter, for a chance to challenge Oriental Spices for the Campeones Companero. What the pigshit fuck is this, Mr. King?"

He pulls up a document to show to the camera.

Manolo Ferrer: "The contract Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz signed for their Cojones Grande title defense says very clearly that they get a guaranteed rematch, should they lose the Campeones Companero. But apparently the terms of this contract don't mean anything, because we now have to fight one team which didn't even qualify for the title match, and another team who we have beaten every time it matters."

Mr. Ferrer points to the contract in his hand again.

Manolo Ferrer: "I do not understand why you are treating me as if I'm an adversary, Mr. King. I'm not going against you in your feud with Mr. Shogun. I've supported your administration. This is the shit-filled thanks I get. My clients now have to earn a title shot again, while the Duds Who Miss Always get yet another chance to try and get into a title match. No matter how many times they can't get it done."

Mr. Ferrer does not hide his exasperation.

Manolo Ferrer: "What in the world do you actually see in the DWMA? Mr. Ray Stevens and Mr. Leon Roland want to be the inspirational good guys who are the shining examples of persistence, fighting back from adversity. But how can they be these inspirational good guys, when they are so ashamed of their real-life heritage, they decide to use Japanese names? When Mr. Yuki Monotomo came to ULOL, everyone - including Mr. Monotomo - thought he was wanted for killing a man in cold blood. The DWMA, these two inspirational good guys, went ahead and made him one of them. Because for Mr. Stevens and Mr. Roland, murdering a friend is not so bad compared to having someone diss them from a big screen. For weeks the DWMA keep posting about how I'm supposed to be an evil coward, because I like doing my promos on the videoscreen, all the while their good friend, Mr. Monotomo, wasted his youth hiding for what he did to his good friend."

A scowl mars Manolo Ferrer's face as he continues.

Manolo Ferrer: "Until we all found out Mr. Nikara is still alive, the DWMA were so willing to look the other way on Mr. Monotomo's crimes. Mr. Roland and Mr. Stevens want the fans to cheer them and treat them as heroes for this. And now these two, along with Team Getter, are getting another chance at becoming number one contenders for the Campeones Companero. While my clients' guaranteed rematch is treated like rubbish. Why should you expect my support when you're going to treat my clients and I like shit, Mr. King?"

Mr. Ferrer storms off

The door opens and Allister pops his head out covered in sweat

Allister King: "What was that? Meh. Now where were we?"

Allister closes the door and locks the door as the camera fades to black.

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

Lex Lexington is standing in the backstage area with a microphone in his hand, and former Campeones Companero is standing next to him.

Lex Lexington: "Ladies and gentleman let me intro..."

However, then GoodFella interrupts Lex and starts to talk.

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "Quit it Lex...I know what you're gonna say former Campeones Companeros but after tonight we gonna be the number one contender despite the fact that me and Felix have a rematch clause which somehow was forgotten by the management... But anyway we are competitors not a complainers... We're gonna beat them up. And by them, I mean The DWMA once again and next time we face Oriental Spices we gonna take what is rightfully ours. I’m done now so if you Felix wants to say something, please go ahead."

Felix Schwarz: "You mostly said everything I wanted to say and I completely agree."

Felix and Arnold leave Lex standing alone as the scene fades away.

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:24 pm

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Jasmine Lee: "The following contest is a triple threat tag team contenders' match, with the winners getting a title shot for the Campeones Companero!"

The fans cheer loudly in response, then "Corroded Dreams" by Ride the Sky begins to play.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the first team! Making their way to the ring, here are Ray Kamaura and Leon Hinomoto, the DWMA!"

Ray Kamaura and Leon walk slowly to the start of the ramp. Following behind is Yuki Monotomo. All three superstars stop and the lights turn back on after lightning strikes behind them. The lasers continue as Ray and Leon slowly enter the ring. Yuki poses for the fans then runs to the apron. They go to diffrent ring posts and climb them, then strike a pose. Yuki slides in the ring and humps the air in the direction of the female fans, then moves to the outside. Ray and Leon move to the same side of the ring and wait for thier challengers. Yuki moves back to the barrier and starts talking to the ladies.

Jim Jackson: "The DWMA came up short at Cojones Grande, but a last-minute decision by the General Manager has set up this contenders' match between them, Getter Team, and Goodfella and Schwarz."

Brad Blood: "And Manolo Ferrer's made it clear he doesn't like this booking one bit."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the second team! Making their way to the ring, here are Ryoma Ichimonji and Hayato Tachibana, the Getter Team!"

Ryoma and Hayato walk out onto the stage as footage from a Japanese anime is shown on the Titantron, and Ima ga Sono Toki da by Ichiro Mizuki plays. Fireworks erupt from the edges of the stage, which Hayato uses to light a cigarette while Ryoma adjusts his gloves, grinning creepily as he looks around the arena. Their trip down the ramp is less flashy, with Ryoma running toward the ring and jumping right in while Hayato walks slowly enough to enjoy his smoke before joining his partner. Once in the ring, he puts out the cigarette on the turnbuckle as usual, while Ryoma can barely keep himself still with all the adrenaline running through him.

Brad Blood: "That's a decent shonen-ai on their entrance video."

Jim Jackson: "...eh?"

Brad Blood: "Never mind. Getter Team wound up face down on the floor after threatening to attack the Oriental Spices, after Wang and Nao Fook Mi won the Campeones Companero. But they get a chance to become the number one contenders tonight."

Jim Jackson: "Getter Team have been chomping at the bit, looking to make noise. Tonight could be the night they shake up the tag division."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the third and final team! Accompanied to the ring by the manager of champions, Manolo Ferrer, here are Arnold 'Goodfella' Bold and Felix Schwarz! They are the Age of Pain!"

"Fire Flame" by Birdman starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again and Felix and Arnold are standing in the middle of the ring, with Mr. Ferrer in tow.

Well, they WOULD be in the ring, but the announcers are quickly notified of something happening backstage.

Jim Jackson: "Jim Rival's pummeling Goodfella! Schwarz is trying to get to his feet! What's going on!"

Brad Blood: "The brawl's spilling out to the stage! Bold trying to fend off Jim Rival! And Schwarz grabs Rival"

Jim Jackson: "TAUFIK JUST SMASHED SCHWARZ DOWN WITH HIS SINGAPORE CANE! HE BLASTS MANOLO FERRER WITH THE CANE TOO! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?"

Brad Blood: "TAUFIK CRACKS GOODFELLA IN THE HEAD WITH HIS CANE! HE'S GOING TO TOWN ON GOODFELLA!"

Taufik look at the destruction that he has done with Jim to his now ex stable mates as he keep on striking his Singapore Cane to Arnold and Manolo Ferrer as Jim works on Felix. Taufik stops for a moment as he realized that he has busted his Singapore Cane up. He then snatch the microphone from Jasmine Lee and then he makes his way to the ring and stared at the body of “The Age Of Pain” as he starts to speak.

Taufik: “Surprised assholes… I know you guys didn’t expect this don’t ya? You fuckers are the worst people that I have ever worked with!!! What people are saying is true, This “Age Of Pain” is nothing more of “THE AGE OF FOOLS!!!”. I have always listened to Manolo words and I take advice of it but WHAT DO I GET?!! I got nothing but failure out of everything you told me to do AND I HAVE ENOUGH OF IT!!!”

Taufik then shake the hands of his new ally Jim Rival as the fans chanted “Asshole” at Taufik

Taufik: “You guys called me an asshole? GO AHEAD say it. I don't give a fuck in any of you people and remember why Arnold and Felix is the longest reigning tag team champion here in ULOL? IT’S BECAUSE OF ME DOING THE DIRTY WORK FOR THEM!!! Well last Sunday when you defended your titles and I wasn’t there it resulted in your title loss. It’s time I step away from someone like you people who can’t get the job done without me to someone I can rely on. And remember, you ditched him to become my bitch.”

Taufik handed the mic over to Jim Rival as Taufik goes to ringside and take out another Singapore Cane to punished what is left out of “The Age Of Pain” as Jim started to speak.

Jim took the mic with a chuckle, a frigid smile on his face as he slowly made a stride over to Arnold. He knelt down to the beaten man and looked him over as he brought the mic to his face to speak. His voice low and nearly haunting in his words.

Jim Rival: How long has it been Arnold, years since I last saw you. I will be honest I have no ill personal feelings to your...'partners' here as much as Taukif does but you are a whole different story....

The frigid smile fell from his face as reach down and grabbed Arnold by the hair, and lifted his head up some to get into his face. The voice grew harsh from this point on as he began to explain the history for those not fortunate enough to remember.

Jim Rival: First you sat there and spoon fed me my addiction that ate at me and nearly destroyed my career to the point of self destruction. Then after I seemed to be of no use to you, you send me to a place where not only did they stripped me of my hollowed feeling of serenity in cold blood but put me through a level of hell you can only imagine. It took me a long time before I could even be what they would call coherent.

Jim stood up and forced Arnold to his feet as well by the hair on his head, using his other hand and mic as a directing tool to have Taufik clear out the area around him. When the 'mess' was finally cleared he looked back to Arnold with the frigid smile slowly coming over his face.

Jim Rival: I am here to help repay you for what you did to me, only this time I am paying back the pain you caused me with interest. The vengeance I will lay upon thee will not be swift and merciful but slow and agonizing as what I was put through with the fury or revenge.

With that Jim dropped the mic, setting up Arnold in a torture rack before flipping him up and over into an Implant DDT making victim of his finisher called The Waters of Nazareth. Looking at the now prone body of Arnold he picked up the mic once more, kneeling down to get a better look at his work.

Jim Rival: There is no light at the end of your tunnel.

Jim just dropped the mic after his statement, rising to his and moving a small item. A gold frame of a cross. He tossed it onto 'Goodfella' as he began to make his way to the ring ropes and exit.

Jim Jackson: "We'll.....we'll be right back."

ARE YOU FEELING GAY?

DO YOU FEEL LIKE GOLD?

IF YOU ARE THEN WE HAVE THE ICE CREAM FOR YOU!

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Golden10

Available in stores now!

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

Jim Jackson: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Lucha Loco. Just minutes earlier Taufik attacked the other members of the Age of Pain, teaming up with Jim Rival to beat down Arnold Bold, Felix Schwarz and Manolo Ferrer!"

Brad Blood: "They were all beaten up very badly. Taufik practically accusing the Age of Pain of being just a scrub for them, despite Manolo Ferrer earlier pushing the GM to give Taufik a title shot. Taufik may have just cost himself a chance at going for the Primo Ultimo title!"

Jim Jackson: "The Age of Pain are currently being taken to a medical facility. Meanwhile, we go back to the action in the ring. Ray Kamaura with the cover but Ichimonji kicks out! Kamaura pulling Ryoma to his feet, but gets poked in the eye! Elbowed in the face!"

Brad Blood: "And a big knee to the head brings big Ray down!"

Jim Jackson: "Kamaura tries to fight out of his position, but Ichimonji with a belly to belly suplex! Tag to Tachibana! Tachibana quickly kneedrops Kamaura! Wristlock...and into a suplex!"

Brad Blood: "Kamaura being forced into the corner."

Jim Jackson: "Hayato Tachibana grappling for a suplex, but Ray Kamaura blocking it! Hayato manages to punch Ray in the ribs! Goes for the suplex, but Kamaura again blocks! Kamaura powers out of the hold, only for Tachibana to kick him back into the corner!"

Brad Blood: "RAY EXPLODES OUTTA THE CORNER WITH A CLOTHESLINE!"

Jim Jackson: "A huge burst of raw power by Kamaura! He scampers to his corner...and Hayato too late to stop the tag!"

Brad Blood: "And he pays for it with a clothesline!"

Jim Jackson: "Hinomoto knocks Tachibana down again! Ryoma rushes in, but Hinomoto catches him with an elbow to the face! But Hayato surprises Hinomoto with a rollup from behind!"

Brad Blood: "Ray makes the save!"

Jim Jackson: "Ichimonji attacks Kamaura! Ray firing back, and both men roll out of the ring!"

Brad Blood: "Hayato's being pulled off his feet by Leon Hinomoto! But Hayato's trying to fight out of it!"

Jim Jackson: "Hinomoto tries dumping him out of the ring, but Hayato lands safely on the apron! Staggers Leon with a big punch! Tachibana climbing the turnbuckle!"

Brad Blood: "RAY AND RYOMA JUST SMASHED EACH OTHER WITH STEEL CHAIRS!"

Jim Jackson: "Both Ichimonji and Kamaura are knocked out! And Hinomoto trying to block Tachibana! He's climbing up the ropes after him!"

Brad Blood: "Going for a superplex! OH! OH!"

Jim Jackson: "BOTH MEN FELL ALL THE WAY TO THE FLOOR! THERE WAS NOTHING TO BREAK THEIR FALL!"

Brad Blood: "The referee making the count, but I don't think they're gonna get up, Jim!"

Sully S. Calawag: "Eight! Nine!"

Jim Jackson: "WAIT! KAMAURA IS UP AND GETS BACK INTO THE RING!!!"

Sully S. Calawag: "Ten! Ring the bell!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match as a result of a count out... Leon Hinomoto and Ray Kamaura, THE DWMA!"

Brad Blood: "Holy crap The DWMA actually won which means they get a shot at the titles?! But what of GoodFella & Schwarz?!"

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

The Camera opens to show Rupert B. Humperdink sitting in the hallway watching spongebob

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Go Spongebob! You're My Hero!!"

At the corner of the camera you can see Allister king trying to hold in laughter

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Herp de derp!"

Allister is seen rolling about laughing in the background

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Herp de derp!"

Rupert gets up and starts running in circles

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Herpity derpity derp de herp!"

A yellow liquid begins to run down Rupert's leg

Rupert B. Humperdink: "DEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRP!"

Rupert sits down and licks the liquid. Allister is crying

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Herping de derping herp herp derpity derp."

Rupert runs down the hallway screams derp as the camera fades to black.

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

As LaCroix walks to his locker room after his meeting with Johnson, Lex Lexington stops him at his door.

Lex Lexington: "William LaCroix, could I ask you a few questions?"

LaCroix gives Lexington a disapproving look.

William LaCroix: "I guess, but I think I already know what questions you are going to ask."

Lex Lexington: "Well, the first thing I would like to ask, is what just happened out there?"

William emits a sigh as he shakes his head.

William LaCroix: "Simple, a stupid Lightweight called me out to make himself look tough. I have nothing to gain from beating him a second time. His win in the ULOL comes from beating a jobber, big deal. Me defeating him again would do nothing for my career."

Lex Lexington: "So you wouldn't want to face him in the future?"

William LaCroix: "That's kind of what "me defeating him again would do nothing for my career," means. Maybe if he could win a few matches against the losers he hangs out with, then I might consider facing him."

Lex Lexington nods at William before advancing with another question.

Lex Lexington: "Tonight you face Chriso, Rupert B. Humperdink, and Bo Hetfield in a Newcomers four-way elimination ball. Your thoughts?"

LaCroix rolls his eyes before answering.

William LaCroix: "Almost a match as worthless as John Johnson. My opponents are all jokes. A mentally challenged person, a Allister King wannabe, and a guy with a speech impediment. Once I defeat them, I plan on moving on to some of the "bigger" names in the ULOL. By "bigger" I mean the ones the fans think higher of. I would gladly go after The Morbidly Obese Man, after all, he's just a worthless wrestler who has only gotten success by outweighting his opponents by 200 pounds. If it wasn't for his size, he wouldn't be here. Or maybe I'll just go straight after the champion, Jack Johnson. He's so unstoppable, that it takes three other people and a fucking Hummer to win him the title."

Lex Lexington: "It seems like you have a problem with everyone."

William LaCroix: "I don't have a problem with everyone here, just almost everyone. Why? Because they all are failures in their own way. Shogun calls himself the "Demonic God" and the "best in the world", but he needed Marcus Troy's help to retain his title against Alexander Conway and Raven Connoly. For an undead menace, Zombie sure seems to get pushed around a lot. Allister King is just a drunk that can keep going through pain because of his drunkness. The Age of Pain couldn't win anything without Mr. Ferrer telling them what to do. Meanwhile, the DWMA can't win anything, period. And like I said before, the lightweights are just a bunch of glorifed gymnists."

William LaCroix turns away from Lex Lexington and opens the door to his locker room.

William LaCroix: "The list of people I hate goes on a lot longer than the list of people I respect. But that is to be expected when you are superior to them all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get dressed for my match tonight."

LaCroix walks into his locker room before shutting the door behind him and leaving Lex Lexington alone outside.

Lex Lexington: "Well, there you have it folks. William LaCroix is a hater."

Lex walks off frame as the camera fades to black.

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:25 pm

The cartoony rainbows and painted smiley faces are the first things that stand out to most people who come to the set for the first time. Over-sized toy blocks, stuffed animals and flowers are laid out at different parts of the sound stage. There is even a cotton candy cart on one side, with a young girl in a big pink afro giving free cotton candy to the hundreds of young guests who have come to watch the show.

A small news team discretely watches the show from backstage. The reporter begins to provide more details on what is going on.

Reporter: "We're at a special Children's Day taping for one of the most popular children's shows in this country, which the world-famous wrestler known as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing calls home. According to the director, this is the first time foreign visitors are on the set. There's no actual translation for the title of this children's program. The closest title we can translate it to is I'm Not A Boy, Not Yet A Woman."

The reporter looks away from the camera, as if asking someone off-cam if this isn't a joke.

Reporter: "On this special episode of I'm Not A Boy, Not Yet A Woman, we've been invited to come watch, as they have a special surprise for the children in the audience, and the millions more who will be watching this all over the country. From the sound of it, the hosts are getting ready to roll out their big surprise for Children's Day."

The cameras switch over to the stage. Three hosts in garishly loud outfits talk excitedly to their young guests, while throwing them lollipops and chocolate coins. One of them begins to talk in a low, ominous manner, and making gestures that suggest something bad is afoot.

Then, a spotlight shines on one end of the stage. Three men come out, dragging with them the disheveled, unwashed form of Marcus Troy. Children scream in fear and anger as he is presented to them, tied in a straitjacket and leg irons.

Children's Host: [Now, this terrible man has done many evil things! But then one day, our greatest hero had enough of this monster's retarded ways! And he brought with him the light to burn Marcus Troy in the rays of righteous justice!]

A man in a mask and cape makes a dramatic entrance. He is none other than Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. But after a closer look, small differences are spotted. He's not as tall, or as buffed. And he's carrying a club and riot shield.

Marcus Troy: "You can't treat me like this forever! I've suffered enough!"

The former Ungeneral Manager of the ULOL is drowned out by a loud clang. Followed up by him tumbling to his knees.

The children, hosts and everyone else present gasp as one, staring in shock at the sight before them. Then, as one, they swoon and scream in an orgy of awe and ecstasy.

For now standing over the dazed Marcus Troy, is none other than the international icon of the wrestling world. He is the masked marvel of the ring, known only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

And he greets Marcus Troy with another swing of the traffic sign, making an even louder clang.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello, you dried up urine stain of an Unfriend of my people! Another of my lovely and loving countrymen is dead! Because of that zombie bestest friend forever of yours! While you stay in jail, sitting pretty! Getting food and a roof over your head, while my loving people struggle to make it through the day!"

He hits Marcus again with the traffic sign.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "And that zombie defiles the memory of my people! With that blasphemy of a belt!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing strikes Marcus Troy over and over, eventually denting and bending the traffic sign out of shape. He then calls out to everyone attending the tapings.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: [Despite the recent tragedy, there is still much we can hope for! Let us baptize Children's Day with the future promise that our next generation will bring to our humble homeland! Come, and show this Unfriend of our homeland that we will not be cowed by his terror!]

Two of the hosts break down in tears as they listen to Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's call to stand up for what they believe in. A mob of children rush the stage, surrounding the battered and twitching Marcus Troy.

He felt a splash of something warm on his face, and nearly rose to his feet in outrage as he realized what was happening. But he did not get very far, for Marcus Troy, once the most powerful man in the ULOL, was too banged up to even sit up.

More of the children joined the first boy as they peed on Marcus Troy.

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

Have you always wanted a pet but cannot afford one?

Have you always wanted a pet but is afraid that it'll destroy the furniture?

Have you always wanted a pet but do not have the time to feed and walk it?

WELL TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY!

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Freeca10

HERE AT FREE CAT INC. WE WILL SOLVE ALL THOSE PESKY LITTLE ISSUES YOU HAVE! OWN A PET NOW HASSLE FREE! NO NEED TO FEED IT, NO NEED TO WALK IT! NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING! SO CALL NOW AT 1-800-FREE-CAT! AND WE'LL DELIVER YOUR VERY OWN FREE CAT RIGHT TO YOUR DOORSTEP FOR FREE!!!

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

VS

VS

VS

Jim Jackson: "The Newcomer's Four Way Elimination Ball, four fresh faces in ULOL out to prove who is the best! This will be one interesting match, we may be looking at ULOL's next big thing."

Brad Blood: "I have my money on Chriso, I mean even Zombie is bothered by this guy. He may be new in ULOL but he has made a mark all over the world of wrestling."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a four-way elimination match! Introducing first, Bo Hetfield!"

Spiderbait's remix of "Black Betty" starts to play and he comes out shouting curse words at the camera. Maybe the bottle of Corona in his hand has something to do with it... He walk-wobbles down the ramp, talking crap to the audience and slides in the ring. When he does, he stands up on the turnbuckle and, in honor of Stone Cold, flips the audience off.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Chriso!"

Tubular Hell Music is heard from the speakers...
Smoke comes down the ramp with lights dimmed...
Chriso stands on turnbuckle closest to ramp as flame explode from ramp behind...

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Rupert B. Humperdink!"

Raffi's Banana phone plays as Rupert B. Humperdink comes running out to a thunderous reaction to the crowd who chant his name. He waves to the crowd. He jumps and skips down to the ring drowling, swinging about his Scooby Doo lunchbox. He skips around the ring a few times before attempting to get in the ring. He falls in and looks like he is about to cry. The ref helps him up and guides him to his corner. Rupert hugs the ref before sitting down and taking a biscuit out of his lunchbox.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing last, William LaCroix!"

"Sonne" by Rammstein begins playing over the speakers as the big man from Switzerland walks down towards the ring. He ignores the crowd as he climbs up the metal stairs onto the ring apron. After wiping his feet on the apron, LaCroix swings one of his long legs over the top rope before doing the same with the other.

Jim Jackson: "Well all four men are ready in their corners... It looks like Chriso and Humperdink will be kicking things off..."

Brad Blood: "Oh this will be easy for Chriso, I mean look at Humperdink, he looks like a retard."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell!"

Brad Blood: "And Rupert B. Humperdink just... I think he just wet himself! Humperdink just peed all over himself and runs away crying! I guess this Newcomer's Ball is not a three-way elimination match?"

Jim Jackson: "Um seems that way... Looks like Bo Hetfield comes into match to replace Rupert B. Humperdink who is probably changing his pants now... Spin kick by Hetfield on Chriso... A wicked chop by Hetfield but Chriso seems unfazed."

Brad Blood: "Bo Hetfield seems take aback that his attacks seem ineffective... He tries a running knee lift on Chriso... NO EFFECT! See? I told you Chriso will win this one."

Jim Jackson: "Hetfield DDTs Chriso. Cover!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Chriso shoves Hetfiled off of him! Bo Hetfield stares in disbelief! He quickly tags in William LaCroix!"

Brad Blood: "Ooh... LaCroix, he sounds so... Sophisticated... LaCroix..."

Jim Jackson: "William LaCroix starts throwing hard rights to Chriso... Chriso stands his ground and starts to retaliate with his own punches... These two powerhouses are trading blows which could already knock out an average man ten times over!"

Brad Blood: "I'm impress, LaCroix is actually standing toe to toe against Chriso... Chriso breaks the monotonous punching with a kick down low!"

Jim Jackson: "William LaCroix connects with a running knee lift... William LaCroix hits a massive spinning kick to the jaw! Chriso gets knocked back... LaCroix with an Irish whip tries to send Chriso to the turnbuckles..."

Brad Blood: "Reversal by Chriso and it's LaCroix who gets sent to the corner instead! Chriso charges in... LaCroix dodges the avalanche and Chriso hits the turnbuckle hard!"

Jim Jackson: "Chriso staggers back into LaCroix's grasp... POWERBOMB BY LACROIX! That shook the ring! William LaCroix goes for the cover..."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Chriso kicks out! LaCroix grabs Chriso and sends him toe the ropes... Chriso counters a back body drop attempt with a kick to the head!"

Jim Jackson: "Big clothesline takes LaCroix down! Chriso hits a delayed hangman's neckbreaker on LaCroix! Full Nelson slam by Chriso, he hooks William LaCroix's leg..."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "LaCroix kicks out at two! Chriso and LaCroix start brawling all over the ring... They get close to Bo Hetfield's corner... Hetfield blind tags LaCriox! LaCroix is forced to abandon his brawling with Chriso as Hetfield jumps into the ring."

Jim Jackson: "Hetfield scores with a dropkick sending Chriso back... Body slam on Chriso by Hetfield. Chriso stands back up... Big clothesline on Chriso sends him staggering to the ropes..."

Brad Blood: "Bo Hetfield charges towards Chriso... CHRISO DODGES THE CLOTHESLINE AND CATCHES HIM BY THE THROAT! CHOKESLAM! Oh this is over... Wait! Chriso turns around...."

WHACK!!!

Jim Jackson: "ZOMBIE JUST WHACKED CHRISO WITH A SEVERED LEG AND EXITS BEFORE THE REF CAN SEE HIM!!!"

Brad Blood: "Wasn't Zombie supposed to be in the hospital?"

Jim Jackson: "I guess he checked himself out... Chriso is stunned after being whacked by a leg... Chriso stumbles back into Bo Hetfield's clutches... Bo Hetfield hits a running over the shoulder back to belly piledriver on Chriso executing an I'myodaddy-Slam! Hetfield hooks the leg..."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie just cost Chriso the match! Chriso realizes this and rushes to the back hoping to get a piece of Zombie! LaCroix jumps into the ring... Hetfield charges in and takes LaCroix down with a shoulder block!"

Jim Jackson: "LaCroix gets up... Big clothesline takes him down again... Bo Hetfield goes for a suplex... LaCroix counters it with a facebuster! Tornado punch by William LaCroix connects! LaCroix goes for the cover..."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Hetfield still gets a shoulder up... LaCroix waits for Hetfield to get up... Ooh! Hetfield eats leather! That's one helluva big boot!"

Jim Jackson: "William LaCroix lifts Bo Hetfield into a fireman's carry before driving him/her head and neck first into the top turnbuckle. Keeping his hold he quickly charges across the ring to drive them into a second turnbuckle. LaCroix then drives Bo Hetfield into a third turnbuckle before finishing his tour of the ring and driving him/her into the final turnbuckle before dropping Bo Hetfield to the mat with a Death Valley Driver executing a Dementia! LaCroix for the cover!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match, William LaCroix!"

Brad Blood: "LaCroix with an impressive victory... Wait it seems that LaCroix still wants to prove a point... William LaCroix pulls Bo Hetfield in for a suplex and grabs one of his legs before lifting Bo Hetfield into the air and spiking Bo Hetfield down to the mat head-first. LaCroix then rolls back over Bo Hetfield. Standing above Bo Hetfield, LaCroix pulls him up to a seated position and applies a Guillotine Choke. IT'S THE NEUTRALIZER!!! LaCroix locks in his sub finisher trying to give more pain to Bo Hetfield!"

Jim Jackson: "Wait! Who's that running down the ramp? It's John "Grey Skull" Johnson! Grey Skull jumps into the ring and hits a dropkick to LaCroix's back! LaCRoix releases Hetfield and both wrestlers start brawling! LaCroix sends Grey Skull over the top rope with a big clothesline!"

Brad Blood: "LaCroix follows out and grabs the bell... HE ATTACKS GREY SKULL WITH THE BELL! Security finally rushes into the ring to separate LaCroix from Grey Skull... That's what you get for not minding your own business... Serves him right."

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

"Hi, this is Raven. Sorry I missed your ca...."

***SLAM!!!****

Eunice P. Winslow slams her phone down on the cradle, She has a look a=on her face that is a mix of concern and anger.

Eunice P. Winslow: "BOBBY!!!"

Bob Bobbie runs into Mrs. Winslows office

Bob Bobbie: "Yes Mrs. Winslow?"

Eunice P. Winslow: "Have you heard any thing from Raven?"

Bob: "No I haven't Mam, no one has heard anything from her since the PPV."

Eunice P. Winslow: "This isn't like Raven to just disappear and not show up for a show."

Bob Bobbie: "Well she isn't scheduled for a match, she wasn't here the week before the PPV and no one was concerned."

Eunice P. Winslow: "Yes Bob, she is not scheduled for a match tonight and she has missed shows before. However, she has always approached me either in person or over the phone when there was an issue and let me know she was not going to make it to a taping."

Bob Bobbie: "She had a pretty grueling match at the PPV, maybe she is just recovering."

Eunice P. Winslow: "Are you serious Bob!? There was a gun under the ring, and that gun went off in Ravens hand and hit another wrestler. Did you see her face after that gun went off, she left the arena right after that match, did not say a word to anyone, and no one has heard from her since. And while we are on the subject, have you figured out how that gun got under the ring!?"

Bob Bobbie: "Uhm, no not yet Mrs. Winslow, no I haven't."

Eunice P. Winslow: "I want to know who put that gun under that ring Mr. Bobbie. Whoever it was put every one who works at ULOL at risk. We are lucky Musashi Kuruma was only shot in the leg, someone could have been killed, I want to know who is responsible for this Mr. Bobbie!"
Now as for this Raven situation, as I said this is not like her, she was hysterical after that gun went off. Now you may not realize this Mr. Bobbie, but Raven is not the most stable person. I know in this federation she seems to be one of the most grounded and normal people on the roster, but there's another side to Ms. Connoly, she has more of her Father in her then she likes to admit. She does everything she can to keep that side of her in check, but its there, and I fear this incident may have done more damage to Raven then we think. We need to find her and make sure she is OK. I thought someone was supposed to go by her house, what happened with that?"

Bob Bobbie looks down for a few moments, like a child who realizes they are about to get in trouble. Eunice places her hands on her desk and stands up slightly.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Mr. Bobbie?"

Bob Bobbie: "I sent one of the crew to check on her yesterday."

Eunice P. Winslow: "And"

Bob Bobbie: "Well, uhm, he never came back, I uhhhh I haven't been able to reach him since."

Eunice P. Winslow: "WHAT!!!!"

Eunice opens her desk and pulls out an old address book.

Bob Bobbie: "What are you doing Mrs. Winslow?"

Eunice P. Winslow: "I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this, but I don't think I have any other option. I need to know whats wrong with Raven, I'm worried about her. Also I have a business to run, and as horrible as it may sound, Ms. Connoly has two of my belts, and a title match next week, I need to make sure she is here next week, regardless. And if we can't get a hold of her, then I will call the one person who I know will find her and get her here next week."

Bob Bobbie: "Who's that."

Eunice pulls a piece of paper out of the back of the book.

Eunice P. Winslow: "I'm calling Mr. Connoly."

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

In one of the hallways of the ULOL, Lex Lexington is standing in front of the camera. Lex nods at the camera before beginning.

Lex Lexington: "Last week at our PPV, Cojones Grande, three of the championships in the ULOL changed hands. Among them, was the Ligero Maximo. Alexander Conway captured that title, and is now joining me for an interview."

Following the segway, the frame expands to include Alexander in it.

Lex Lexington: "So Alexander, how does it feel to be the new Ligero Maximo Champion?"

Alexander Conway: "How is it supposed to feel? Good? Bad? Should I be ecstatic right now because I won it? I've held all kinds of championships, including World titles, Hardcore titles, Midcard titles, Tag Team titles, and other lightweight titles like this. I've won multiple tournaments as well. Winning a title, to me, is just natural! Come on, when you're this good, it's just expected that the title will come to you at some point."

Alexander pauses for a moment before continuing.

Alexander Conway: "Unfortunately, I am a bit addicted to these pieces of hardware. Why? Because when I do not have them, I am not able to say that I am the best. Well, I could, but less people will agree with me."

Lex Lexington: "So you only win championship to try and prove that you are better than the other wrestlers? Is that what you are saying?"

Alexander Conway: "Try to prove? What do I have to prove? When there is no tipping of the scales to anyone's favor, I always come out on top. Having these titles only makes there be no ifs, ands, or buts about whether I am the best in the business. They also give me a hefty bonus paycheck....and as we all know, I love the money."

Lex Lexington: "Now that you are champion, what's next for you?"

Alexander scratches his chin for a moment as he thinks about Lex's question. Giving Lex a slight smirk, Alexander gives his reply.

Alexander Conway: "What isn't next for me? There is no glass ceiling, right? I can do whatever I am willing to do. So maybe the Primo Ultimo Championship will comeback to where it should be. Or maybe, I'll grab myself a partner and win those Tag Team titles. Who knows? But you can be sure of one thing; that Alexander is going nowhere but to the top!"

The camera watches Alexander leave while the scene begins fading to black.

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:25 pm

The scene opens in the locker room of Morbidly Unstoppable where it is clear a celebration is underway. Food and drinks are flowing freely as the partners celebrate the recent victory of "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "So Johnson, how does it feel to be champ? Finally you are the Primo Ultimo! Though that physical belt is not something that I would like to carry around if you know what I mean."

The Morbidly Obese Man points to the mass of human remains that was made into the title belt which is laying on one corner of the room...

The Morbidly Obese Man: "I think you should probably try to ask management for a new belt Johnson. The cardboard one would be preferable to that."

The camera again focuses on the belt before swinging back to the big man.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "But let's get down to business... As we agreed upon earlier, once you win the Primo Ultimo, I get my title shot... So Johnson... What do you say? Next week I take the Primo Ultimo from you?"

The Morbidly Obese Man looks into his partner's eyes waiting for a reply.

UJJ looks at his partner for a few seconds then starts laughing.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "You serious? Take the Primo Ultimo away from me?! Hahahaha! Trust me lard ass, this championship isn't going anywhere. The belt is going to the forensics or wherever but this championship however isn't going anywhere."

UJJ goes to a black bag and pulls out a shiny brand new title, it's coated in platinum and it shines in the light. UJJ puts it around his waist.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I've always wanted to personalize my own title. But whenever I won a title, the company that owned the title told me no. So I've just had money sitting in the bank until now. ULOL needs a new Primo Ultimo title and I can't wait for Q to pay for one. Looks good huh?"

UJJ rubs the front plate with his arm.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "So you want to try to take this bad boy away from me? Then we are on, a deal is a deal, just don't be disappointed when you lose."

UJJ holds out his hand to TMOM which his partner accepts as the screen fades to black.

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

VS

Jim Jackson: “Now onto an ongoing feud here in ULOL! A match between our very own General Manager Allister King and Shogun! We just also receive word that the general manager Allister King has approved the request earlier to make this a number one contender match too, the winner gets a title shot at the Primo Ultimo at the next PPV!”

Brad Blood: “Shogun is a former Primo Ultimo champion and well I can’t see King surviving this one! Shogun is a powerhouse in this company!”

Jim Jackson: “But this feud also includes Boy Bakla and Shogun’s tag team partner Shadow Callahan! Surely one of those men is going to come into play tonight!”

Brad Blood: “Men? Boy Bakla is is is …”

Jim Jackson: “As I was saying this one has only just started and someone if not both will come into play here tonight! Maybe they’ll accompany their respective partners to the ring here tonight!”

Brad Blood: “… is is is …”

Jim Jackson: “It’s ok Brad. You don’t need to think about it!”

Brad Blood: “… is is is is …”

Jim Jackson: “Is that blood coming out of your nose?”

Jasmine Lee: “Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for a One Fall! Introducing first, Allister King!!”

A coyote howl is heard throughout the arena as the entrance is covered in smoke. Godsmack's "Whiskey Hangover" begins to play as Allister king walks out onto the entrance ramp with a cigarette in his mouth and a bottle of whiskey in his hand. Allister Falls a few times on his way to ring and sits on the ring apron while he finishes his cigarette and bottle of whiskey. He falls of the ring apron and hits his head of the ground which somehow seems to sobers him up enough for him to enter the ring. He gets in the ring and sits in the corner.

Jim Jackson: “And our General Manager now out here and he looks like he is ready for this challenge Brad! Are you alright?”

Brad Blood: “Yeah I’m good! Seems to happen alot! But yes he sure does Jim! Maybe Shogun has a match on his hands after all!”

Jasmine Lee: “And his opponent in this matchup, Shogun!!”

A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals blasts though the arena speakers and the lights begin to flash on and off. As the lyrics begin Shogun bursts from behind the curtains with fire erupting from the ramp beside him. Shogun begins to make his way to the ring with a look of pure intensity on his face. As he makes it to the ring he runs up and rolls into the ring the expression on his face unchanged.

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this contest is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: “The Demonic God watching King like a predator! What do these two men have in store for us tonight, we can only but wonder!”

Jim Jackson: “And this match gets underway as both men circle each other in the ring. Both men tangle it up and Shogun easily throws King to the canvas. Shogun is obviously the stronger of the two men but Allister King’s mental strength will keep him in this match.”

Brad Blood: “The GM doesn’t look happy about being thrown down to the ground and now straight back to his feet. King now charging at Shogun and brings him to the ground!!”

Jim Jackson: “King pummeling Shogun with right hands. And Shogun pushes King away and that face tells the whole story! Shogun with a look of shock on his face as he tries to regain his composure but King straight back in there and stomps away on Shogun’s chest! The referee pulls King away to cool the GM down.”

Brad Blood: “Man! King is running on something but Shogun has been in worse predicaments than this!”

Jim Jackson: “King making his way back to Shogun now and Shogun hits back with a hard right to King’s stomach! Shogun steadily gets to his feet and has King on his knees. Shogun’s face still with that expression on his face as he brings King to his feet again and Irish whips him into the turnbuckle! Shogun steps back and charges towards King slamming his body into the GMs!!”

Brad Blood: “Shogun properly in control now for the first time in this match. King groggily walks out from the turnbuckle and Shogun now with a Gutwrench into a powerbomb, King hits hard on the canvas! Man! Shogun is punishing King!”

Jim Jackson: “I fear that he has not even started yet! King takes a back suplex. And now a Double arm suplex by Shogun! Shogun now picking King apart as he continues on now with a Suplex into a front slam from Shogun. Hooks the leg!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!”

Jim Jackson: “King with a shoulder up! Shogun looks to King and immediately grasps King’s neck and begins to choke him!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Hey hey! Let go! One! Two! Three! Four!”

Brad Blood: “Shogun making use of that warning count! Obviously taking every opportunity he can get! And the ref not happy with Shogun!”

Jim Jackson: “He needs to be careful though! Had the referee got to five that would have been an instant DQ! And Shogun going back to work on King! He seems to be laying King’s leg flat on the canvas and now he is stomping down on King’s right knee!”

Brad Blood: “This man isn’t called The Demonic God for any reason Jim! Working on that leg hoping to set up his Demon Reckoning for later!”

Jim Jackson: “I think he’s looking for that now Brad!! Shogun now standing over King who is lying on the mat face up and grasps his leg! Shogun about to …”

Brad Blood: “And King quickly uses his other leg and pushes Shogun away! But King still in a vulnerable position on the floor and Shogun quickly fires a punch down on King which subdues the GM once again! Shogun with King on his feet and King counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker! I bet that rocked Shogun to the core!!”

Jim Jackson: “And King now trying to regain his composure in this match up! Shogun has had the better part of this match so far but King has had his moments! And will this be another one? As King now goes into a hammerlock on the grounded Shogun. Obviously the former Primo Ultimo champion knows about submission maneuvers as he tries to make his escape from the hold!”

Brad Blood: “Shogun almost looks like he’s slithering along the ring floor and he finally gets a hand to the ropes! And King still keeping that hold locked in!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two! Three! Four!”

Jim Jackson: “Releases on that count almost in time! Both men really trying to take advantage of whatever they can get! And King now has Shogun on his feet and he plants Shogun with a big DDT! And King now with a quick powerful suplex! Not allowing Shogun a chance to recover!”

Brad Blood: “King possessing that Irish brutality and not letting up one bit! King again now has Shogun back to his feet! Irish whip to the ropes and King follows with a violent bulldog!! King has the shoulders down!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!”

Jim Jackson: “And a big kick out from Shogun signifies that this is far from over! King now frustrated but cannot afford to let up!!! King has Shogun to his feet once again! And Shogun counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face!!!”

Brad Blood: “Shogun doesn’t even seem dazed after all that!”

Jim Jackson: “Well I think he IS hurting but we’ve seen him go through worse! Shogun now making his way over to King and brings him to his feet. Suplex into a front slam from Shogun! Shogun now looking ever more serious as the match goes on!”

Brad Blood: “I think King has brought him to that Jim! Shogun turning it on now as he plants King with a Face-first suplex!!”

Jim Jackson: “And the Demonic God with King up on his feet and sends him running to the ropes with an Irish Whip! Shogun waits for King in the centre of the ring and attempts a clothesline but King ducks! King now with momentum runs toward the opposite side! Shogun follows and before King can bounce off the ropes Shogun slams him with a clothesline! The impact throws King over the ropes and to the outside!”

Brad Blood: “Shogun in his element now as he exits the ring! King trying to get to his feet using those steel steps as leverage.”

Jim Jackson: “Shogun grabs King’s hair and slams his head off those steel steps!!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One!!!”

Jim Jackson: “The referee begins his count as King is draped over those steps! Shogun is walking back preparing for a run up! Shogun runs and leaps knee first towards King! AND KING ALMOST INSTINCTIVELY DODGED THAT LEAP AND SENDS SHOGUN CRASHING INTO THOSE STEEL STEPS!!!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Two!!”

Brad Blood: “Oh man! That’s gotta hurt! You can dodge a move like that but you can’t stop yourself from USING a move like that! Momentum and gravity does the rest for you! I think that was an attempted Shining Wizard!! The referee continues his count!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Three!!”

Jim Jackson: “Both men slowly getting to their feet! Shogun surprisingly getting up already after that impact! King up already, now trying to take advantage …”

Jack B. Nimble: “Four!!!”

Jim Jackson: “… and he goes to work on the knee that hit the steps first with those stomps!!”

Brad Blood: “If you can’t take out all of one person then take out a vital limb! Shogun started earlier on King but now the GM has an advantage thanks to Shogun himself!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Five!!”

Jim Jackson: “Some of the worst injuries these guys can incur are self inflicted! King continues with that knee as he stands on it putting his weight on top of it! Shogun only grimacing through the pain! Determined not to show too much emotion!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Six!!”

Brad Blood: “The referee is getting ever closer to the ten count!”

Jim Jackson: “Shogun manages to get a hold of King and now has him by the hair! Shogun propels himself into the air and a huge headbutt knocks King down the ground!!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Seven!!!”

Brad Blood: “Shogun getting to his feet and tries to shake off the pain in his knee! He seems to be coping with it alright Jim!”

Jim Jackson: “As you said Brad this guy is the Demonic God and a former Primo Ultimo champion! You’ve seen the matches he’s been in! Allister King now slowly trying to find his feet again! Shogun now approaching King and now has him in a headlock! Shogun using his mighty strength and lifts King up in a military press position! He looks like he’s about to drop King on the barricade!! But King struggling to get down trying to come up with some sort of counter!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Eight!!!”

Brad Blood: “If Shogun manages to drop King successfully it’s game over for the GM!! KING MANAGES TO LAND A FIST DOWN ON SHOGUN’S FOREHEAD!! AND KING BRINGS SHOGUN DOWN FROM THAT POSITION INTO A FALLING INVERTED DDT!!!”

Jim Jackson: “BUT SHOGUN LOOKS LIKE HE MANAGED TO GET A NECKBREAKER ON KING AS THEY FELL!!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Nine!!!”

Jim Jackson: “SHOGUN GETS BACK UP AND ENTERS THE RING QUICKLY!!! THE REFEREE ABOUT TO REACH TEN!!!”

Brad Blood: “I think King has surprised a lot of people here tonight!! Wait a minute!!! Shadow Callahan has just jumped over the barricade!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Ten!!!!”

Jim Jackson: “And the match is over Shogun wins he gets the title shot!! But now Shadow Callahan has King and has now rolled him into the ring!!”

Jasmine Lee: “The winner of this match via count out, Shogun!”

Jim Jackson: “Callahan raining fists down on King!! Shogun up now and slides into the ring!! Shogun slamming his foot down onto King’s chest!!”

Brad Blood: “This is the worst place to be inbetween!! And finally here comes Boy Bakla!! And he’s er … I mean …Oh man!!... No he’s not!! … ARRRGHHH!!”

Jim Jackson: “Don’t worry Brad I got it!! Bakla has that baseball bat that it calls “Petunia”!! Bakla sprints down the ramp and slides into the ring! Shogun diverts his attention to Bakla but it’s a moment too late as Bakla slams that bat over Shogun’s back! Callahan now up and Bakla brings that bat down hard onto Callahan’s head!! Shogun again now but Bakla ducks the attempted right hand and in the process swings the bat into Shogun’s gut!!

Brad Blood: "RRRRGGGGHHHH!!"

Jim Jackson: "King is back to his feet!! He intercepts Callahan who was about to attack Boy Bakla!! King sends Callahan flying over the top rope with a massive clothesline!! And Bakla sends Shogun rolling under the bottom rope with several stomps to Shogun’s body!! KING AND BAKLA HAVE CLEARED THE RING OF THE ANARCHISTS!! THEY RAISE THEIR ARMS IN THE AIR IN CELEBRATION!! BOTH KING AND BAKLA NOW TAUNTING THE ANARCHISTS!! SHOGUN AND SHADOW CALLAHAN RAGING AS THE CROWD CHEERS LOUDLY!!”

Brad Blood: “Ngggghhhh?!?”

Jim Jackson: “Brad? Brad? Are you ok?”

Brad Blood: “M-m-m-man?”

Jim Jackson: “I don’t know Brad! I don’t tend to think about it!!!”

Brad Blood: “Man? He? She? It? Mmmmmmmmmmm …”

Jim Jackson: “Well that's one helluva main event!!"

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

Jim Jackson: “Things just keep getting hotter and hotter here in ULOL. We have betrayal, action, drama, mystery, horror... What else can you ask for?”

Brad Blood: “Popcorn?”

Jim Jackson: “Uh... Yeah... Anyways, what a night this was... Taufik betrayed The Age of Pain and got a title shot too! Manolo certainly didn't see that one coming when he negotiated for Taufik.”

Brad Blood: “Well Taufik will be facing Shogun too for that title shot... And whoever wins UJJ versus TMOM and the winner of Bakla VS Callahan too. Taufik is way out of his league... He betrayed The Age of Pain in the wrong moment.”

Jim Jackson: “But with Jim Rival as back-up who knows what will happen. Anyway we are out of time folks so join us again next week, same time, same channel. Good night!”

Lucha Loco 06/05/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 06/05/2011

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