United League of Lunatics & Lucha Libre Puroresu
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| | | Lucha Loco Reunion Show 07/31/2014 |  |
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The Morbidly Obese Man
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 |  Subject: Lucha Loco Reunion Show 07/31/2014  Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:38 am | |
|  The lights shine once again in the newly refurbished ULOL arena where an eager crowd slowly make their way to their seats in the sold-out ULOL Lucha Loco Reunion Show.
Jim Jackson: "Man oh man, who could have thought that this day would arrive? We all thought that ULOL is gone, we all thought that we would never see action in the ULOL ring again yet here we are tonight!"
Brad Blood: "That's right baby! WE'RE BAAAAAAACK! And tonight everyone will get to see their favorite ULOL superstars in action again! We tried to get everyone but of course some of them have already moved on with their careers and are already under contract in other federations."
Jim Jackson: "That is why we are all grateful everyone who decided to come back for this reunion show. Who knows, this may be the rebirth of ULOL! But before we begin, let us all watch in the ULOL Tron what transpired before that led to this momentous moment."
Brad Blood: "Now this is a special behind the scenes bonus only for the people who are watching this live here in the arena. Sorry folks at home, you're gonna miss this little freebie. Roll the clips baby!"  A familiar pink Vespa rolls into the empty parking area of the old ULOL building. It screeches to a halt sending a dust cloud flying as the fabulous divalicious wrestler known as Boy Bakla steps away from the throttling pink scooter. A few seconds later a van also rolls into view and a camera crew steps out. Bakla graciously waves the crew over.
Boy Bakla: "Over here boys! Now since we are doing a documentary on the life of the most successful transgender entrepreneur, I think this is a good place to start. This is where I built the Boy Bakla brand. This is where Boy Bakla first became a household name synonymous with make-over. And of course after that, I started the Boy Bakla Beast to Beauty Cosmetic line which made me into a multi-billion dollar entrepreneur."
The camera crew starts setting up and begins to film. It was then that Boy Bakla notices other vehicles in the premises...
Boy Bakla: "Well slap me horny and call me Daisy! I didn't think that anyone would still be here. C'mon boys let's go meet my former comrades, follow me."
Bakla struts over to the building entrance, pushes the doors wide open and enters with the camera crew following close behind.Small beams of sunlight shines through the small holes coming from the dilapidated roof of the arena illuminating the once prestigious ring. United League of Lunatics, once one of the top wrestling federations in the world, suddenly vanished. What happened to it? Where did it go? These were the very questions that passed through the mind of The Morbidly Obese Man as he looked on sadly at the state of this place which he once called home.
The huge wrestler sighed deeply as he climbed up the ring apron. Loud squeaks echo signifying the strain the ring is taking supporting his now even larger frame. The Morbidly Obese Man closed his eyes and tilt his head upwards reminiscing the glory days of ULOL. He could almost hear the cheers and the boos, he could almost feel the excited buzz of the fans which electrified the air.
Just then he remembered why he returned. He unzips the bag that is slung upon his shoulders and brings out a small thermos and some tea cups. Setting the teacups down, he opens the thermos and fills the cups with some tea. He then reaches back into the bag and brings out a bottle of whiskey and proceeds to spike the tea.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Here's to you, you old bag. We may have had our differences but I respected you and we had great times.... Great times indeed. Here's to you Eunice, wherever you are."
The Morbidly Obese Man raises the cup as a small beam of sunlight shines upon it. He quickly downs the contents of the cup and with a melancholic sigh begins to make his exit. This stop just something he knew he heard of the passing of Eunice P. Winslow and now he must continue his journey.
A small rustle suddenly catches the big wrestler's attention. With the agility not normal for a man his size, The Morbidly Obese Man bounds out of the ring and reaches over the toppled barricades pulling out what seems to be a dirty unkempt squatter...
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Well fuck my three pound balls! Marcus Troy!"Finally making his way through the corridors of the entrance to the audience seating area, TK Kenta formerly Brostar finds himself way up in the cheap seats, looking down on TMOM below. Kenta can't seem to make out what the big wrestler is doing. He quickly changes his attention to the ring looking out leaning over the edge of the balcony reminiscing some of the best and worst moments of his career in ULOL. He decides to sit down on one of the seats still looking at the ring.
TK Kenta: "Sigh... It was definitely the best thing I've done in my career, no matter what I've done there whether it was being a bitch for a stinky wrestler, confusing the audience whether I was a good guy or not, or anything else I've done, ULOL was definitely home for me.... I wish, I had some Beer or bourbon for a toast but I didn't bring any. I guess I will just relax in this chair for a bit. Ray stood in the deep shadow of the entrance to the arena, looking sharp in his fancy suit and tie. He held around his waist a Championship title from a third rate promotion. He simple stared at the Mountain of Man Meat standing in the ring. A silence loomed over the old arena, a dark and sad feeling covered everything. Ray decided to join his old friend in the ring. As he walked out of the shadows, Ray spoke up.
Ray Kamaura: "It's a terrible shame that this is how we meet again. Poor old girl always did hold this company together, I guess this is her last little gift."
Ray Climbed into the ring, minding a broken rope, and faced The Morbidly Obese Man. Ray saw the sadness on his face, covered with a smile. Ray adjusted his belt and continued.
Ray Kamaura: "Oh this thing... Nothing to tout about, just a third rate belt won from a group of nobodies. You just can't find good competition anymore. Not like the old days, not like the ULOL. Ah to hell with it."
Ray tossed his belt off into the stands.
Ray Kamaura: "Eunice was the only reason I got the chances I did. I think we need to honor her the right way. Pick up match?"Being lurched by the cuff of your neck is not an experience one can say is pleasant, and certainly Marcus Troy is at this moment experiencing the unpleasantness of that sensation. Taking a while to focus, the former general manager of United League of Lunatics unsuccessfully tries to wrench himself free from the grip of The Morbidly Obese Man.
Marcus Troy: "God damn it! Let me go! Let the fuck go!"
The disgraced general manager is then thrown unto the ground ass first. He picks himself up and uselessly dusts himself as he is covered by the shadow of the massive wrestler. His hair unkempt, his clothes covered in dirt and in tatters, Marcus Troy tries to stand in dignity as he looks into the eyes of The Morbidly Obese Man.
Marcus Troy: "What do you want? Money? As you can see, I don't have a cent on me! You want revenge? Well I'm so fucked up the ass you can't possible fuck me up any worse."
Marcus Troy begins to laugh, a sad laugh, a regretful laugh, a laugh that clearly shows the pain he is feeling instead of hiding it. He tries to push against The Morbidly Obese Man as he walks past him but stumbles and falls. Big hands try to help him up but he wanted none of it.
Marcus Troy: "Don't touch me! I don't need your assistance! I am Marcus Troy! I... AM... MARCUS TROY!"
And with his affirmation of his identity, the former general manager slowly sinks to his knees and breaks down.A depressing state greets yet another familiar face as he walks into the nearly abandoned arena. Alexander Melchiott, once known as Alexander Conway, a former champion in this former promotion, now looks at the scene before him with a curious expression. It always invokes a sense of awe when the mighty are toppled and the remnants are exposed. Of course, there were other feelings spiraling through the young wrestler – pity, remorse, anger, embarrassment, disgust. It’s hard to claim to be a big-time superstar if you can’t keep a promotion you are working for alive… and it’s even worse when your final impressions for the promotion were negative.
When working under Marcus Troy and the United League of Lunatics, Alexander had put on some of the best matches of his career; despite this, he was one of the most hated superstars on the roster. It seemed almost unfair for him to be here today. His career had continued to improve - largely because of the United League of Lunatics - and yet here he was, standing in the husk of the entity that had helped him along his way.
It had been bizarre for Alexander to see vehicles resting outside of this abandoned venue. Finally resting his eyes on his former adversary The Morbidly Obese Man and his former boss Marcus Troy, Melchiott marvels at how much has changed.
Alexander Melchiott: “I think I can safely speak for everyone when I say that this isn’t a scene any of us wanted to come back to. The empty husk of something that was once so animated…Marcus Troy balling on the ground…and TMOM with even more weight than he had the last time I saw him.”
Alexander pauses, as this is where he would give the crowd a brief moment to react to what he has just said. It’s unusual for him to be in an empty arena like this, and for the briefest moment he forgot that there were no fans gathered here today.
Alexander Melchiott: “Look, the last time I was here, I was nothing more than a glorified jerk. It’s true, this promotion had its ups and its downs, but one thing was constant – we gave the fans a show. Whether it was for better or for worse, the fans always had something to talk about. There was always something new happening here, something…unexpected. To see something so unique go from glory to…this -- without a proper send-off -- is a travesty and a disgrace to the industry that we are a part of.”
With a glint of determination, Alexander walks over to The Morbidly Obese Man and Marcus Troy. Putting a hand on the big man’s shoulder, Alexander looks into his eyes.
Alexander Melchiott: “Marcus Troy may have been the world’s biggest asshole, but he still gave us the opportunity to do what we do best. And knowing Eunice, I think she would be appalled to see this sight now.”
Taking his hand off of The Morbidly Obese Man’s shoulder, Alexander stoops down to look at Troy.
Alexander Melchiott: “So Mr. Troy, what do you say? Should we give you, Eunice, the United League of Lunatics, and all the fans the send-off that they deserve?”
With a smile on his face, Alexander extends a hand to his former boss.Hesitant, Marcus Troy slowly reached out to accept the hand offered to him. It had been too long since someone offered him anything since his fall. So long has he wallowed in regret in self-pity, so long has he been alone that he had forgotten the world outside the cage he created for himself. Steeling his resolve he takes the hand and pulls himself up. His legs shake unsteadily but stand he did. His eyes which reflected the abyss of hopelessness clears up and a tiny ember starts to pulse. He looks around and sees faces he recognizes and the cogs in his mind starts moving again.
Marcus Troy has again found something he has lost, his dignity. He swipes back his greasy unkempt hair and takes a deep breath as he dusts himself and straightens his jacket. Yes, the Marcus Troy of old is back.
Marcus Troy: "Thank you Conway, or is it Melchiott now? You are right, ULOL never got the proper send-off it deserved. I screwed up any chances of that, me and my greed. And what do I have to show for it? These rags I wear right now and empty bank accounts. You are wrong in one thing though Alexander, Eunice wouldn't be appalled, she would probably be laughing her ass off at my state right now."
A slow smile again creeps back into Marcus Troy's face. He looks about and surveys the area. The once glorious arena where epic battles had taken place, where the crowd cheered, applauded and enjoyed is now in ruins.
Marcus Troy: "This place will need a lot of work. Without fixing it up, we can't give ULOL the proper send-off it deserves. Our problem will be getting the resources we need to repair everything. Unless we win the lottery, I do not see it happening anytime soon... Unless a miracle occurs, ULOL will stay a memory, unless you gents have any ideas..."
Marcus Troy sighs deeply, as he looks around again at the shambled state of the arena.???: "You know, if you need for a miracle, all you need to do is just pray to the right goddess."
Everyone's attention focuses on where the voice came from and standing on top of the bleachers is none other than Boy Bakla. Slowly strutting down the aisle, Bakla makes his way down to where Troy is followed by an entourage of camera crew. Looking around, Bakla recognizes familiar faces, faces he never thought he would see again. Bakla scrunches his nose as he nears the former general manager of ULOL.
Boy Bakla: "You need a bath... But let's get back to business first, yes I overheard your plight and it would not be sporting of me to not give back to the place where my legend was born. You all want a reunion show? Well we'll have a reunion show. Now fix yourself up Marcus dear and let's send out feelers to our former roster."
Boy Bakla raises his arm and snaps, a man in a fine tailored suit, clearly his assistant hurriedly comes over beside Bakla.
Boy Bakla: "Make sure Mr. Troy here gets a bath, gets groomed and gets a new new suit. List down everything he needs and make it happen."
Bakla reaches out and grabs the man's necktie and pulls him near and squeezes his cheeks.
Boy Bakla: "And don't screw this up okay dearie?"
The man nods vehemently.
Boy Bakla: "Fabulous! Now that THAT is settled, I am a busy busy queen and I still have things to do. Goodbye everyone, and I surmise I will see all of you soon. Until then... Ciao!"
Turning on his 4 inch heels Bakla storms off followed by the camera crew.TK Kenta maKes his way down to the ring with the others.
TK Kenta: "So a Reunion show it seems.... I good way for final send off for ULOL. You may used to know me by the name Brostar, now I've changed my name to TK Kenta after I've become more of a serious wrestler and didn't want to be stuck with such a pitiful name. After spending a couple of years in Japan training and wrestling, I am back better than ever and I am willing to face anybody to prove myself worthy again." The Morbidly Obese Man: "Well now that that's decided, I guess we can all prepare for the reunion show. I'm glad you're not sniveling anymore Troy, it's a sight that I'd rather not see again... Not like I can unsee it anymore."
The big man chuckles as he slaps Marcus Troy on the back.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Well... I guess the next I see you all would be when the show happens. I better get myself back into shape... Or at least ring ready. See you in the ring Kamaura... We'll fight that tribute match to Eunice soon."
The Morbidly Obese Man grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulders again, gives a wave to the others gathered in the area and heads off. &  VS Jim Jackson: "Before we officially begin with the live telecast, we have a special treat for all that are in attendance tonight!"
Brad Blood: "It's a sort of thank you for being here watching the event live and not sitting home watching it from the tube."
Jim Jackson: "It's a dark match! That's right! A special match for those who are only here in attendance tonight."
Brad Blood: "Um so according to this match schedule, we'll be having a match between... Who the fuck are Meowlchiott and Mewter?!"
Jasmine Lee: "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, the following dark match is a two versus one handicap match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, hailing form the middle of nowhere... Meowlchiott and Mewter!Suddenly, the song "Sleep Away" by Bob Acri begins playing through the arena. The crowd looked bewildered, as this is music isn't used for any wrestler they know of. After a brief moment, a man steps out from the back. Strangely, he's wearing cat ears, fluffy cat paws and boots, a cat tail, furry pants, a furry vest, and a cat mask. The crowd doesn't know how to react to what they are seeing, some people laugh, some boo, but most just sit with quizzical expressions on their faces.
The mysterious man holds out a hand towards the back as another similarly dressed man appears. The new individual grabs the extended hand and spins into the other's arms. The original cat smiles at his partner before pushing him away towards the ring. The two saunter down together, occasionally stopping to paw at or shake a tail towards a fan.
Reaching the ring, the two cats hop onto the ring apron. One of the cats licks a paw while the other stretches. Looking back at one another, the two suddenly turn and pounce onto separate turnbuckles. The original cat slowly picks his way across the ring rope, carefully balancing on all fours as he approaches his companion. As he reaches his partner's side, the original cat lies down on the rope, keeping his balance as his partner lightly pats his head.
After a few pats, the original cat rolls off of the ropes and into the ring. Walking across, the original cat motions for a microphone as his partner somersaults in after him. Grabbing his partner and hugging him close, the cat speaks with a happy voice while toying with his friend's hair.
???: "Mrrroww! We heard there was a wonderfurrrl pawty happening here tonight, and we simpurrly couldn't miss it! Isn't that right Mewter?"
With a grin, the unknown cat holds the microphone in front of...Mewter's face.
Mewter: "Mroow! That's mright Meowlchiott! Without us, this purrrfect pawty would be a cat-astrophe!"
Mewter begins mewling happily as his friend begins messing with his ears.
Meowlchiott: "Purrrfectly put, Mewter! We're cute, we're furrrocious, and we've got a major cattitude!"
Pushing Mewter away, Meowlchiott looks towards the backstage area.
Meowlchiott: "So let's get this pawty really started! Would somebody pawlease come meout here and take us on? Meows not the time to be nip-picky!"
Brad Blood: "You know those two cats look familiar..."
Jim Jackson: "Um... Maybe Melchiott and Hunter?"
Brad Blood: "No no... Not them... I know I've seen them before... Anyway, I wonder who will they be facing tonigh..."
"Sonne" by Rammstein begins playing over the speakers as the cats finish issuing their challenge. The crowd immediately reacts, as they know who uses this music. The Swiss Superstar William LaCroix walks out from the back and to the ring. After wiping his feet on the apron, LaCroix swings one of his long legs over the top rope before doing the same with the other. The two cats look pleased that someone came out, but that quickly dissipates as LaCroix tears the microphone out of Meowlchiott's hand and pushes him back and into the arms of Mewter.
William LaCroix: "So tonight is the ULOL's final show? The moniker of this place is to expect the unexpected, and this, this is unexpected."
LaCroix gestures at the two individuals sharing the ring with him.
William LaCroix: "And not in a good way either. I was never able to make the impact or accomplish the things that I wanted to here in the United League of Lunatics, but there are two things I won't fail at. One, is being involved with this show. The second, is kicking these two feline wannabes asses all around this ring and getting them the hell out of here! Get me a ref and let's get this thing started!"
LaCroix tosses the microphone out of the ring. Meowlchiott looks aghast at being pushed and at being spoken to like that. Mewter glares at LaCroix with his ears laid back and his tail swishing violently being him.
Jasmine Lee: "And their opponent for the evening, hailing from Zurich, Switzerland, standing in at 7 feet tall and weighing in at 334 pounds... WILLIAM LACROIX! The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGI..."
Brad Blood: "Whoa! Those Meowlchiott and Mewter guys just jumped LaCroix! It's now a handicap match!"
DING!
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Meowlchiott and Mewter are have cornered William LaCroix! They are landing punch after punch!"
Brad Blood: "Oh man, that would be humiliating for LaCroix to lose to two guys in cat costumes... Oh wait I spoke to soon!"
Jim Jackson: "William LaCroix is blocking and countering the punches from both Meowlchiott and Mewter! A big European uppercut sends Meowlchiott reeling! Mewter throws a wild right, William LaCroix ducks under it and counters with an atomic drop!"
Brad Blood: "Mewter meows in pain! He's jumping around holding his butt! Oh man clothesline on Meowlchiott flips him over! Mewter goes charging in... BACK BODY DROP OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! MEWTER HITS FACE FIRST INTO THE FLOOR OUTSIDE!"
Jim Jackson: "With Mewter out, William LaCroix can concentrate on Ale... I mean Meowlchiott! Big windmill punch connects! Meowlchiott flails wildly. Willaim LaCroix with a big knee... Connects right to Meowlchiott's chin! Meowlchiott is getting decimated here... Sidewalk slam on Meowlchiott! William LaCroix goes for the cover..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One..."
Brad Blood: "Mewter is on the apron! He leaps to the ropes and springboards! LACROIX ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY AND MEWTER FLATTENS HIS PARTNER!"
Jim Jackson: "A kick to the gut stuns Mewter. William LaCroix picks him up... Powerbomb right on top of Meowlchiott! Willaim LaCroix picks both wrestlers up... He knocks their heads together! Both men are spinning around... Looks Like Mewter's head is on backwards too! William LaCroix lifts Mewter into a fireman's carry before driving his head and neck first into the top turnbuckle. Keeping his hold he quickly charges across the ring to drive them into a second turnbuckle. William LaCroix then drives Mewter into a third turnbuckle before finishing his tour of the ring and driving him/her into the final turnbuckle before dropping Mewter to the mat with a Death Valley Driver. It's his finisher Dementia! And he's not done! He goes after Meowlchiott next, looks like it's the Neurotoxin! William LaCroix grabs Meowlchiott by his waist and hoists him into the air before turning and slamming Meowlchiott down onto his spine while dropping to a seated position right unto Mewter!"
Brad Blood: "DOUBLE PINFALL! DOUBLE PINFALL!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
DING! DING! DING!
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match by pinfall... WILLIAM LACROIX!"
Jim Jackson: "Well it looks like William LaCroix did short work on those two."
Brad Blood: "Well that's what you get for wearing stupid cat costumes in a match."
Jim Jackson: "With that match done, I guess we can proceed to the televised part of the reunion show."
Brad Blood: "Damn right! It's about time the cameras feast their eyes on my handsome face! Behold world, the second coming of Brad Blood!" The camera pans around the arena showing a full house as every seat is filled with fans excitedly chattering about the ULOL Lucha Loco Reunion Show. "ONE MORE NIGHT!" or "PLEASE COME BACK!" or "WE SHIP FOR BOY BAKLA X RAY KAMAURA" are just a few of the more common signs seen being waved around by the fans.
Jim Jackson: "Good evening ladies and gentlemen and to all our viewers at home. Tonight is a momentous night indeed. Tonight ULOL rose again from the ashes to give every true wrestling fan what they want."
Brad Blood: "That's right! Tonight every wrestling fan shall feast their eyes on me!"
Jim Jackson: "Um... Brad, let's not scare the viewers at home into turning off their TV sets before the show has even begun. As I was saying... Tonight we will bring you great wrestling action from your favorite ULOL superstars!"
Brad Blood: "Scare viewers? I resent that statement! Do you know how long wrestling fans have missed the voice of ULOL? This beautiful voice accompanied by this beautiful fac... "
THWACK!!! THUD!!!
Jim Jackson: "It seems Brad here just got into an accident when my fist accidentally backhanded the side of his face. So why don't we get this show rolling? I'm sure everyone is eager to LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!" | |
|  | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Lucha Loco Reunion Show 07/31/2014 Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:38 am | |
| "Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing as smoke rises from the top of the entrance ramp. A light show starts flashing and pyros start shooting from the ground. It is clear that expenses were not spared for this moment, the moment United League of Lunatics fans have been waiting for.
A silhouette steps out through the smoke, wearing an Armani suit and a cigar in hand. The usual "boos" reserved for him is not heard, instead the crowd warmly welcomes him, Marcus Troy.
A grin on his face, Marcus Troy makes his way down the ramp and into the center of the ring. A raised hand silences the crowd as he puts the mic to his lips.
Marcus Troy: "It has been too long... TOO LONG! Before anything else, I would like to say something.... I HAVE BEEN AN ASS! It was me who caused the downfall of ULOL! The blame rests on my shoulders!"
Marcus Troy pauses and looks around the crowd that is still intently listening to him. Hungry to hear more from ULOL's general manager.
Marcus Troy: "Yet you all forgave me and gave me this chance... THIS CHANCE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT! THIS CHANCE TO SHOW THE WORLD THE ULOL IS THE BEST DAMN FUCKING WRESTLING FEDERATION THAT WAS, THAT IS, THAT WILL BE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WRESTLING BUSINESS! Thank you all for tonight for tonight wouldn't have been possible if not for all of you! This may be ULOL's final hurrah... BUT YOU ALL CAN BE DAMNED SURE THIS NIGHT SHALL BE THE FUCKIN' BEST NIGHT YOU ALL EXPERIENCE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!"
The crowd goes wild and starts chanting "TROY! TROY! TROY!" as Marcus Troy basks in their cheers letting it run it's course. As the cheering dies down, Marcus Troy continues...
Marcus Troy: "Now we have tried to get as much of the old crew back together to put up this show. Not everybody made it, but we damn hell got the best of the best to represent us tonight! So let me thank them for just being here tonight as I announce the show card!"
More cheering erupts from the crowd.
Marcus Troy: "We shall kick things off tonight with a three-way hardcore crowd bring your own poison match between Taufik, TK Kenta... Who the hell is TK Ken... Oh! Brostar... And Yuki Monotomo! Now I know that we advertised this earlier so all you watching tonight must have brought things which can be used by our wrestlers in that match tonight."
The crowd starts cheering again this time brandishing household items.
Marcus Troy: "Our second match is also a three-way... But this time it's a three-way tag team special prize ladder match! A special prize donated by a secret sponsor will be hung up above the ring, the first team to grab it and take it down not only wins the match but also wins the special prize! The teams lucky enough to compete in that match would be the team of Alexander Melchiott and Andrew Hunter, Goodfella and Schwarz and Oriental Spices!"
The crowd goes "Oooh!" as they wonder what the special prize would be.
Marcus Troy: "The next match is a three-way fall counts anywhere surprise match between Boy Bakla, Raven Connoly and Richard "The Dragon" Johnson! But since we have the word surprise, we've rigged the outside of the ring to release certain surprises when a wrestler steps on certain areas."
Someone from the crowd shouts "IT'S A TRAP!" and the crowd erupts in laughter.
Marcus Troy: "Then comes the next match which will be one of the most brutal matches in the evening... Colton Charles Cai Cobb versus Shogun in a barbed wire steel cage match!"
The eyes of the crowd sparkles in excitement at the mention of the match two of the most brutal superstars will be having.
Marcus Troy: "And to end the evening, we have a fatal fourway electrified ropes match between Meteoro, Ray Kamaura, The Morbidly Obese Man and Zombie! Now you all notice I did not say main event, because tonight... ALL THE MATCHES WILL BE THE MAIN EVENT!"
Again the crowd explodes in applause.
Marcus Troy: "Before I leave so we can get things rolling, let me say some final words to my mother-in-law who has passed on. Eunice! We never really got along, we never really liked each other but wherever you may be, tonight is your night as much as it is ours. Goodbye Ma!"
The crowd goes silent but only for a moment before they start chanting "EUNICE! EUNICE! EUNICE!" "Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing again as Marcus Troy exits the ring and heads to the back wearing a smile of contentment on his face. Legends. Yes, wrestling has their legends and for the few that have the ability to live off of their talents, and the even fewer that can still function enough to enjoy what their careers have brought to them, retirement is a glorious reaping of what you have sown. It's a time of enjoying a legacy built upon the blood, sweat, and the pound of flesh given to the roar of the crowd. Still to others, it's... Hell. In any given firehouse, rec hall, or high school gymnasium you'll find them, the next generation of sports entertainment forging their craft for the adoring public. In this particular one, not unlike any other in middle America, heroes from before act as a draw for the fans. Tables set up for autographs and merchandise act as gateways to glories of yesteryear. Unlike any other, middle-America or not, this table sits the Most Perfect Body In Sports Today... Bored.
Fan 1: "Hey Dragon! Great to meet ya! What brings you to KCW?"
Richard "The Dragon" Johnson: "You do. Thanks for coming. KCW is a great federation with a lot of young talented guys and gals. It's a pleasure to bring attention to them and an honor to be associated with them, even for this short of time."
Fan 1: "Maybe they could make you a GM or something, then if it is anything like what they are doing on tv, try to replace you with a computer."
Richard "The Dragon" Johnson: "There is no replacing a body like this, especially with a computer."
The Dragon smiles.
Fan 1: "Haha! Yeah! How much are autographs?"
Richard "The Dragon" Johnson: "Autographs are free, but you have to buy the 8x10's. They are $10. Posters are $20."
Fan 1: "What's that roped off area with the black drapes?"
Richard "The Dragon" Johnson: "I.D. ?"
The fan, with a puzzled look, pulls out his drivers license. The Dragon scans the card with feigned enthusiasm, confirms he's of age, and hands it back to the kid.
Richard "The Dragon" Johnson: "Sex toys. Even you can now 'unleash the Dragon' with this line of products modeled from the entertainment star, Richard 'The Dragon' Johnson. You too can feel like man or if you're up to it, feel the man. Just $69."
Fan 1: "Are they vintage?"
Richard "The Dragon" Johnson: "Fifth series. Show exclusive. How about I just sign your show program, kid?"
Fan 1: "Why the Hell would I want your autograph?!
The fan replied with his voice rising.
Richard "The Dragon" Johnson: "You haven't been relevant for years. It's been, what ten years since your cage match with Boy Bakla?"
The Dragon now alert with this being the most excitement he has had all day behind a desk replies.
Richard "The Dragon" Johnson: "Not that long. Plus, didn't you watch 'Dancing With The Stars?"
Fan 1: "Huh?"
Richard "The Dragon" Johnson: "Never mind, I tripped all over my third leg all season long. No need to make a scene. Why don't I offer you an 8x10 glossy for your autograph for half off."
The fan turns to a friend...
Fan 1: "Come on, let's go. We don't need to talk to this has been. We're at a KCW show. The Dragon is only riding along and leeching off them."
All of a sudden, a man wearing an Armani suit with a briefcase pushes past the old lady charging admissions, despite her cries about him needing a ticket. He walks right up to Dragon's booth. The rude would be fan, fumbles out of his way while staring in disbelief at the monster of man. He looks down his nose at Dragon through the lenses of his sunglasses and drops the briefcase in front of Johnson, and opens it. The Dragon addresses the man.
Richard "The Dragon" Johnson: "Marcus Troy?! What are you doing here?"
Marcus Troy: "ULOL is re opening. The reunion show is next week. Your opponent has already been chosen for you."
Marcus Troy gestures to the briefcase.
Marcus Troy: "Your contract and your blank check are inside awaiting your signature. Boy Bakla sends his regards."
The Dragon turns to the fan...
Richard "The Dragon" Johnson: "Has been, huh?"
Johnson rips a Sharpie marker out of the hands of the fan and signs the contents of the briefcase while pocketing the blank check. The mountain of a man closes the briefcase with the contract and methodically leaves the room with little emotion save a rare crack of a smile Dragon's way. Business is about to pick up.The slightly muted sounds of a cheering crowd can be heard as a large steel door opens up and some one walks out onto the loading area of a large arena. There are several semi trucks parked along the road way that leads to the arena dock bay. The woman is wearing jeans, red Doc Martens boots, and a long black coat, and she is carrying a large gym bag. Her long dark red hair blows as a large gust of wind blows through, she pulls her coat shut as the door to the arena closes causing the sound of cheers to go silent. A large black car pulls up and the woman walks up the the car and opens the door.
Young girl: "RAVEN, RAVEN!!!!!"
The woman turns around and see's a little girl running towards her from the nearby street. A man is following closely behind her.
Man: "Sweat heart come back here!"
Girl: "Daddy, it's Raven!"
Raven closes the door and smiles as the girls runs up to her. The man comes up quickly behind her.
Man: "I'm sorry, we don't mean to bother you, she saw you and just took off. I'm sorry..,"
Raven smiles and the laughs.
Raven Connoly: "It's OK."
Girl: RAVEN!! I can't believe I'm meeting you, you're my favorite wrestler ever! I watch you every week on TV! THIS IS SO AWESOME!!!
Raven laughs as she kneels down so she's eye level with the little girl.
Raven Connoly: "Your so sweet, thank you! What's your name?"
Girl: "Kennedy! Are you going to get your belt back, I can't believe they put you in that match. Even Daddy said that wasn't fair, and he doesn't even like you."
Raven smiles and looks up at the man as he smiles nervously.
Raven Connoly: "You better believe I'm going to get it back! Hey, I think I've got something you would like."
Raven unzips her bag and pulls out a red shirt. She hands it to the girl.
Raven Connoly: "I had a few shirts left over from the merch table, I don't think this one will fit me." Raven pulls a picture out of her bag as well and a pen. She writes something on the picture and then hands it to a girl. "Here, you can have this too Kennedy."
The little girl gasps and then squeals in delight.
Kennedy: "THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!"
Raven Connoly: "No problem sweetie, you just keep cheering for me OK?"
Kennedy: "You bet I will!!"
The little girl runs back to her father.
Man: "Thank you."
Raven nods as the girl and her father turn and make there way back towards the street. Raven zips her bag back up and opens the door to the car and tosses the bag in. Her cell phone starts to ring as she gets in the car. She pulls it out of her pocket and climbs into the car and closes the door.
Raven Connoly: "Hello?"
Man: "Your finish looked a little weak tonight kid."
Raven Connoly: "Yeah, I know, I botched it bad, it happens Dad. Do you really have to call immediately after and remind me?"
Connoly: "That's my job kid. That's not actually why I'm calling, I got a call earlier today from TMOM."
Raven's face drops, the blood runs from her face at the mention of the name.
Connoly: "You still there?"
Raven shakes her head to snap her self back to reality.
Raven Connoly: "Yeah, yeah, I'm here. You just caught me off guard. What did he want?"
Connoly: "Apparently Eunice passed away."
Raven Connoly: "I had heard that, so sad, she did a lot for me. Wouldn't be where I am now if it wasn't for her."
Connoly: "She was quite a woman. TMOM said they were putting on a reunion show, they weren't sure how to get a hold of you. I told them I'd get you the message."
Raven goes silent again for a few moments.
Raven Connoly: "Hmmm, uhm, WOW. Are you going?"
Connoly: "I'm retired kid, actually that's courtesy of ULOL. Plus you know I don't leave the homeland unless it's absolutely necessary anymore."
Raven Connoly: "I know, I have to wait until we tour Ireland to even see you any more. None of them are going to want to see me. After what I did to all of them right before ULOL closed up. I'm still mortified at how I acted there. I was a giant bitch, they all hate me, and they have the right to."
Connoly: "I doubt they'd call if they didn't want you there. They've all been in this business to know what it's like, sometimes shit happens, you move on. You've more then made up for it since then. I do have to warn you, apparently Troy is involved."
Raven Connoly: "Jesus fucking Christ Dad! Just pile it on why don't you? God dammit, I need to think about this. I'm not even sure I would be able to do a reunion show, my schedule is pretty full."
Connoly: "You've been going non stop for that company for years, I think you can take a week or two off. I'm sure they can survive with out you there, as much as you'd like to think otherwise."
Raven Connoly: "UUghhh, I'll need to think this over. I'm not sure I'm ready for this emotional roller coaster right now."
Connoly: "They are all meeting out at the old arena, they said just show up if your interested."
Raven Connoly: "I'll think about it. I gotta go Dad. Love you."
Raven hang up the phone and lays it down on the seat. She sighs deeply and turns her head to look out the window. She looks up at the side of the arena at the large screen on the side of the building and see's her name crawl across the screen as one of the wrestlers appearing at show. She brushes the hair out of her face as she stares out the window. She looks down at her phone on the seat. She looks out the window again and smiles. She picks the cell phone up and starts to dial.A stretched limo is seen driving its way into the arena as the cameraman tries to catch up with the limo. A few second later, the limo door opens and out comes a familiar figure from the limo with his back turned.
???: "It's been quite a while since I was here."
The person closes the door turns around, it is none other than Taufik. He pull out his shades from his coat and puts it on as he prepares to speak.
Taufik: "Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen, the Mighty One is here and I'm going to bring the funk back into this company during the reunion show."
Taufik takes a few step forward and gives out a signal, a few seconds later, three hot women wearing a short skimpy shiny dress steps out from the limo. They head towards Taufik's direction and linked arms with him as Taufik makes his way backstage.
Taufik: "Let's go ladies."The scene begins with a black screen. Talking can be heard.
????: "Yeah I got the camera set up. Yeah. Yeah. Why do I need to have a camera pointing at a chair, can't you just tell me now? Fine."
A hand is removed from the lens to reveal Yuki Monotomo, former ULOL wrestler in his home, talking on a phone. The fireplace in the background is burning and a red, velvet armchair is turned from it. A small coffee table is next to the chair with a picture of Yuki holding the Correa Grande Del Oro. The ninja is dressed in a suit and tie, still wearing his half mask. As he continues to talk on his cell phone, he sits down in his chair.
Yuki Monotomo: "Okay I'm sitting in my chair. Yes the one I used to use for promos all the time. Yeah my fireplace is lit. What the hell do you need me to do this for? It seems really silly. Okay? Alright fine, give me the bad news, then the good news."
He slumps over as he listens on the phone, visibly shaken by the news just given to him.
Yuki Monotomo: "Oh. Eunice is gone. Wow. Like. I wouldn't have made all my money and gotten all my women if it hadn't been for her. When did it happen? Well why the hell didn't anybody call me before this? Seriously I would have liked to go the the arena and walk around for old times sake. Maybe visit the DWMA locker room and fix the leak is the ceiling, that is if it still has a ceiling. Alright, that was some pretty bad news. What's my good news that's supposed to cheer me up from that?"
Yuki's eyes widen and he shakes his head in disbelief before replying.
Yuki Monotomo: "Really? A reunion show? When was that decided? When you were walking around the ring? Why wasn't I invited? No, I would have picked up if it were you, I thought you were going to return the money you borrowed last month. No this doesn't make up for that, I still want my money back! Oh, I'm scheduled for a match as well! Excellent. Against who? Who are those guys again? Oh right! Ah ha, good times beating them, good times. Any other information I need to know? Yes I know I need to shoot a promo what about it."
The Japanese man pauses and pinches his face before looking to the camera with a deep sigh.
Yuki Monotomo: "You're one clever son of a bitch, Ray. I'll talk to you some other time. Don't forget about my money."
He hangs up the phone and puts it on the coffee table before looking back to the camera again.
Yuki Monotomo: "Well, I haven't done some ass-kicking since about a month ago before the JWW kicked me out. I guess trying to pick up a date in the middle of a match is frowned upon there. I need some asses to kick in order to rectify that. Literally. I'm going to kick Taufik and TK Kenta is the ass. Repeatedly. Also that was frowned upon at the JWW. They didn't let me do fun things. No, just wrestle and NOT mock your opponent. No, you can't use the 10 second rule outside the ring to pick up chicks. No, you can't kick your opponent in the ass. Something about honor, I think. Used to fall asleep when grandpa tried to tell me about it, still do. Anyway."
Trailing off, Yuki stands up, loosening his tie, and unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. He then pulls his shirt from being tucked in and removes his belt.
Yuki Monotomo: "I'm gonna have to tell the JWW that I'm not going to that sexual harassment seminar anymore. I'm going back to the ULOL, where I can pick up chicks halfway through a match and I can literally kick ass! Although that means I won't have a job anymore. Oh well, I'll just go to the XWF or something."
Yuki picks up the camera to turn it off and the scene goes back to blackness. | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Lucha Loco Reunion Show 07/31/2014 Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:39 am | |
| It’s odd, how when two warriors collide they find themselves with onlookers, who leave thunder in place of silence. How when opponents face off, any spectators find themselves cheering, applauding. Be it in a ring with four posts, or from across the table.
Casinos have a tendency to have a lot going on during any given night. Slots spinning, dancers dancing, gamblers gambling, high rollers rolling, and high rollers coming to a screeching stop. Never at any point is a casino still, unmoving, completely focused upon one event. So then, it is a bit perplexing to see a casino frozen. Particularly when the thing that has everyone so interested happens to be something that happens on any given night. High rollers rolling. Gamblers gambling. And someone coming to a screeching stop.
A man in a tattered brown leather jacket staring down another, a man in a fancy white suit. Andrew Hunter staring down… Well, I don’t rightly know his name. It’s not important, really. But it’s obvious that he’s a high roller, given the large pile of chips sitting next to him. His eyes constantly darting from his hand, to his chips, to the pot, and toward his adversary’s blank face.
High Roller: "…You’re bluffing."
Andrew Hunter: "You’re losing."
And that was true. While Mister Roller’s pile of chips was large, it wasn’t quite as large as Hunter’s. Regardless, Andrew’s face shifted into a shit eating grin.
Andrew Hunter: "But let’s not worry about that, shall we? Instead let’s worry about your hand. Your hand that is obviously far too good to just… fold."
His grin fades, leaving the blank look he had on him before.
Andrew Hunter: "… All in."
High Roller: "I call."
With that, the audience starts cheering. The silence in which one could hear themselves think gone, replaced instead with thunder. Truly, odd. As the cards fall to the table, everything becomes clear. The high roller, with a flush in spades. The gambler, with an ace high flush. Almost immediately, the crowd disperses. Barely enough time for the victor to be acknowledged. Andrew Hunter and the white clad high roller shake hands, and casino reps scurry about to collect and exchange the chips. Hunter, having won, takes a moment to collect himself and better control his breathing. He did, after all, just risk a lot of money.
???: "You relied more heavily on luck in wrestling than you do in poker."
Hunter freezes, mid gasp. Or maybe he gasped mid freeze… Either way, the camera panned around to show a sharp dressed man. For most a household name, for Hunter, a figment of past glories. And a hatchet, though mainly past glories.
Andrew Hunter: "Alexander Conway."
Hunter turns on a dime, his face adapting a look of surprise, if not particular fond taste.
Alexander Melchiott: "It’s Melchiott now, actually. Alexander Melchiott."
Melchiott extends a hand, which, after a moment of deliberation, is accepted.
Andrew Hunter: "Gotta say, we’re a long way from Canada for you to just up and walk here. Can I assume we’re not gonna end the night bitter enemies?"
Alexander chuckles, and pulls away from the grip.
Alexander Melchiott: "Enemies? No, nothing so overdone and inappropriate as that. Rather, we share in the symphony of mouring. I come here bringing… sad news. You may want to sit."
The scene fades on Alexander gesturing toward the chair Andrew had just been seated.
Alexander Melchiott: "We need to talk."KER-RAAACK!!!
The sound of a jaw breaking echoes through out the dimly lit arena. Loud cheers erupt as a lifeless body slumps to the cold concrete floor. The Pit is not a place for the faint of heart, no rules, no laws, only blood, sweat and broken bones. The winner raises his arms in the air and more cheers are heard. Inside the makeshift fencing that makes up the borders of the battleground, the winner awaits his next opponent while the loser is slowly being dragged out.
The winner points to a figure on the other side of the fence, the crowd cheers louder. The figure stands up as the lights focuses on him slowly. A smirk of amusement appears on his face as he leaps down from where he is seating and makes his way to the battleground. The sea of people parted and started chanting his name. "COBB! COBB! COBB!" He raises his arm and the noise instantly dies down.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "You know, a few months ago, I was in the position of that man standing over there right now. A few months ago, I stepped into The Pit and fought my way to become the undisputed champion. I waded through broken bodies and broken spirits to get to where I am and tonight it seems I may actually have a worthy challenger."
The crowd starts cheering again but quickly settles down when Colton Charles Cai Cobb began to speak again.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "So Mr. Challenger, your performance tonight does seem impressive. In fact if I was any other man, I would probably be shittin' my pants right now... I am not any other man, know my name and know fear. I am Colton Charles Cai Cobb, and tonight know that a man tried to challenge a god and fell!"
Cheers erupt once more as the man also known as C4, the Charismatic Crippler enters through the fence. A bell sounds and two bodies clash. The crowd gets rowdy as violence rains down inside the cage. It was evident within a few minutes that though the challenger was skilled, his opponent was far more skilled than he is. Every strike was easily parried, every takedown attempt thwarted, every attack countered. As his face turned black and blue and his eyes swell shut, the challenger slowly realizes that his is outclassed and outmatched in every aspect. His shoulders starts to slump and his knees buckle as Colton Charles Cai Cobb sends a vicious blow to his liver.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "A valiant effort, a valiant effort indeed... Oh who am I kidding? That was just pathetic! PATHETIC! You didn't even lay a mark on me! Seriously! Is there no one here even good enough to give me a workout? How about you? You look like a strapping healthy man."
The man C4 pointed to quickly shakes his head and steps back.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "You?"
The person C4 pointed to pissed his pants and fled.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "It seems no one has the balls to fight me. Not that I blame them..."
Colton Charles Cai Cobb raises his arms as the crowd again erupts to cheers. A man makes his way to C4 and hands him a roll of cash which he quickly pockets as he makes his way out of the cage. As he makes his way through the crowd, another man approaches him.
Man: "We know where he is, we've found Marcus Troy."
Colton Charles Cai Cobb clenches his fist and his expression goes dark.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Troy... Finally!" The scene opens up with TK Kenta supporting a Hokkaido Wrestling beanie on his head. He knock on the door and peeks through as it's was already opened up a little bit revealing the office of the founder and owner of ULOL Marcus Troy. Kenta walks in and sees the chair that Troy normally sat in the past, the two years that he had worked for him. Kenta takes a look around the room and sees that the general manager isn't in.
TK Kenta: I guess... I'll wait a little bit....It was then the doors of the general manager's office swung open and in strolled Marcus Troy. He then notices the wrestler waiting for him.
Marcus Troy: "Ah, Mr. Brosta... I mean Mr. Kenta, that IS the name that you go by these days right?"
Not waiting for a reply, Troy continues to talk as he settles himself on his seat.
Marcus Troy: "Now what can I do for you Mr. Kenta? What is the purpose of this visit today? As you can see I have little time to spare."TK Kenta: "I probably won't take too much of your time, I guess got a couple of things I need to get off my chest that I had on myself for a very long time."
He said as he sat down before continuing.
TK Kenta: "Firstly I wanna say, I'm sorry for the loss of Ms. Eunice. She meant well to the company, she has done just as much you have and feel so pissed off no being able to attend to her funeral. I was too busy in Japan, but feel that the best thing I can do for her now is to compete in my last match for ULOL."
Kenta waits to see if Marcus will reply.The general manager of ULOL sits back and lights a cigar. He takes a deep puff before replying to TK Kenta.
Marcus Troy: "Thank you Mr. Kenta. This may be hard to believe but I am happy you are here to honor not only ULOL but also Eunice. We never really saw eye to eye when you were competing here in the past as Brostar just like I never saw eye to eye with Eunice. But time has mellowed me, time has given me a chance to learn, to experience and to be accepting. Thank you for taking part in this event Mr. Kenta."
Marcus Troy takes another puff from his cigar before continuing.
Marcus Troy: "Now, I wish you good luck in your match. If there isn't anything else, I should continue with my preparations."TK Kenta: "I think that is all from me, all I need to do now as my last act in ULOL and go out there give the people what they came here to pay for... And that is one hell of a match, time for me to show what I learned in Japan and make Hokkaido Wrestling proud."
Pulling on his beanie, he leaves Marcus Troy's office for the final time, getting ready for his upcoming match.The lights flash as "Last Man Standing" by Hammerfall starts to play in the arena of the UNN Wrestling Federation. Ray towered over his latest opponent, the former UNN World Heavy Weight Champion. Ray Should have celebrated his win, but instead he stood somberly in the middle of the ring, the crowd booing him. Finally he grabbed a microphone and spoke his piece.
Ray Kamaura: "It's been a year since I arrived at this company, I captured the title in less than two months and I have held it ever since. Yet still I am booed? I am still hated. I have ran over this man, Your World Heavyweight Champion, A half a dozen times... and you cheer for him?"
Ray lifted the title into the air as the other man stood to his feet. Ray then took the belt across his face. Then he laid the belt at his feet. The crowd was silent.
Ray Kamaura: "You can keep your belt, you can keep your champion, I'm going back to the place where wrestling matters."
With a slight inkling about what Ray was saying, the fans sat on the edge of their seats.
Ray Kamaura: "I'm going back to a place where talent is over abundant... I'm going back to the United League of Lunatics."
The crowd erupted with cheers. The arena began shaking as Ray dropped his microphone and started chanting ULOL. The crowd joined in making it even louder. Ray walked out of the Arena with a smile on his face. He might have started a small riot on the way out. Whoops. "Ninja" by Machinae Supremecy rumbles throughout the stadium as Yuki Monotomo walks down the catwalk, microphone in hand. He stops along the way to the ring, talking to two girls. They laugh and he something for them on a scrap of paper before continuing his way to the ring. As he enters the squared circle, the crowd erupts with cheers. Once they settle down, he speaks.
Yuki Monotomo: "It's been far too long! I've-"
The crowd screams again, drowing Yuki's words enough that he waits for them to calm down once more.
Yuki Monotomo: "It's been so long since I've been in this arena! I've-"
The fans cheer loudly again, once again cutting Yuki off. He laughs to himself before he continues again.
Yuki Monotomo: "You guys are gonna cheer at pretty much anything I say, aren't you?"
Those in the audience go wild once more. This time, every time Yuki stops a phrase, they cheer before he can continue.
Yuki Monotomo: "I've always been more of a cat person! I think cake is a sometimes food! I hit a dog on my way here! I have actually stolen candy from a baby! I had sex with a 16 year old girl who I thought was 18! I actually have no idea what DWMA even stands for! You're all way too excited! "Boehemian Rhapsody" isn't Queen's best song!"
On the last one, the crowd goes dead silent.
Yuki Monotomo: "Now that I can speak again, I wanted to tell you what going to happen in tonight's match. After much thought, I've decided. I'm definately kicking both of them in the ass. I might even do it a few times after the match is over, just to get it out of my system. And now the weather."
Yuki points to the screen, playing a video. In the video Yuki is dressed in a suit, in front of a forcast map like you would see on the news.
Yuki Monotomo on screen: "Thank you, Yuki. Might I say, you're one handsome devil."
Yuki Monotomo in ring: "Right back at you!"
Yuki Monotomo on screen: "Anyway, as you can see right here from the forcast here, at the time of Yuki's match, there will be a chance of kicking ass. While the match is happening the asskick-ipitation will increase to one hundred percent. We'll end off the match with a victory for Yuki and two losers with sore behinds. Back to you, you sexy beast."
Yuki Monotomo in ring: "Thank you very much for that info. You heard it here, folks. I've got a victory coming to me, while TK Kenta and Taufik have sore bums coming to them. What can I say about those guys that I haven't said before? They're weak, I'm awesome, I'll win, they'll lose. Same stuff two years later, only I'm stronger and way more awesome than I was then. By the way, guys, you love me, right?"
The fans roar once more, a few women in the crowd can be heard screaming out their addresses.
Yuki Monotomo: "That's what I thought. I'll release a statement after my victory tonight! I don't know how much longer it will be before you drown me out in cheers, so I'll be in the locker rooms. Until then, yay me, boo them!"
Yuki slides under the ropes and walks back up the catwalk toward the locker rooms. The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura and Leon walk slowly to the start of the ramp. The Crowd erupts. Lightning strikes the ring posts as Ray and Leon both climb in and hug Yuki together. Ray grabs a microphone and waits for the crowd to quite down.
Ray Kamaura: "Really? Not Queen's best song? I should slap the innuendo out of your endo."
Ray and Yuki stare down each other, like two lions about to eat a baby giraffe until Leon interjected and halted the annual pissing contest.
Leon Hinomoto: "Good old times! Yuki trying to be his own person, and Ray being abusive. Honestly I'm surprised that you two haven't kissed yet."
The crowd busts a gut as Ray and Yuki slowly turned to Leon. Leon threw his hands up and backed away slowly.
Leon Hinomoto: "What? Something in my teeth?"
Leon started picking his teeth. Ray then broke out into laughter.
Ray Kamaura: "Alright enough pre-planned banter."
The Ultimate Commander of the DWMA turned back to face the fans that have cheered and booed him so so many long years.
Ray Kamaura: "What would a ULOL reunion show be without the Biggest and Sexiest group of superstars who ever called this ring home? That's right. The DWMA is here. And We will be reeking havoc all night!"
The crowd broke out into the ever classic, DWMA chant.
Leon Hinomoto: "Now settle down boys and girls! We are gonna be here all week!"
Everyone was slightly confused by Leon's comment.
Yuki Monotomo: "It's a one day thing."
Leon stood with a dumbfounded look oh his face. The crowd laughed, More addresses were screamed by ladies, and a few men.
Leon Hinomoto: "Well... Um... I think I left the oven on?"
After a few more moments of crowd pleasing banter between the three men, the tone took a shift to serous. The DWMA all looked at each other and raised their arms in the air. Slowly lowering them after another round of roaring cheers, and another Address, It was Leon's mom.
Ray Kamaura: "How about tonight we do more than just reunite for this little stick? How about we make sure that the DWMA dominates this reunion show? How about we become the hellrasing, ass kicking, show stealing, S.O.B.'s that we were always trying to be?"
Ray and Leon both put their hands in the circle for a ceremonial break. The crowd sat on the edge of their respective seats waiting for Yuki to respond.Yuki looked to both the men before putting his hand in.
Yuki Monotomo: "Aw, hell! Why not? We are the ones who always take the show anyways, so why not tonight of all nights?! We are the DWMA, ass-kickers, and general assholes of the ULOL, am I right?!"
The crowd gives a standing ovation to the men as they break and pump their fists into the air.
Yuki Monotomo: "One night only exclusive and we plan to cause as much chaos and ass-kicking as physically possible! Ladies and gentlemen, you're in for more of a treat than your tickets could possibly pay for!" | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Lucha Loco Reunion Show 07/31/2014 Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:41 am | |
|  VS  VS  Jim Jackson: "And here is our first official match of the evening! A triple threat fans bring your poison hardcore match! A match where only the weapons provided by the fans at ringside will be considered legit items!"
Brad Blood: "That's right Jim! And right now we see a lot of interesting stuff which the fans brought with them. I can't wait to see these items in use."
Jim Jackson: "Well you may not need to wait any longer Brad! Let's head to Jasmine to introduce our wrestlers!"
Jasmine Lee: "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a Triple Threat Fans Bring Your Poison Match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first hailing from Singapore, Taufik!"
"The Way I Am" By Emniem started playing as Taufik walks out with a few beautiful ladies on his side. He makes his way to the ring and waits for his opponents with the ladies behind him.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, hailing from Austrailia, TK Kenta!"
"Show Goes On" by Lupe Fiasco plays as TK Kenta comes out with arms raised as he walks down the ramp and runs into the ring, he goes up to the second turnbuckle raises his hands again, Then he jumps off with a backflip.
Jasmine Lee: "And introducing last, hailing from Japan, Yuki Monotomo!"
"Ninja" by Machinae Supremacy echoes throughout the arena. Fog rolls down the ramp as Yuki Monotomo walks slowly toward the ring. He blows a few kisses at some female fans from each ring corner.
Brad Blood: "Did he just blow kisses to Tau's girls? Oooh! Tau doesn't appreciate Yuki flirting with his girls."
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
DING!!!
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Taufik charges headfirst into Yuki Monotomo! He rams his head into Yuki Monotomo's gut! Monotomo is down! Taufik proceeds to stomp away at Monotomo! TK Kenta formerly known as Brostar quickly slips out and he grabs a bottle of champagne from the crowd!"
Brad Blood: "Ooh! Tau is really letting Yuki have it. No one messes with his girls but Tau himself. Wait TK is shaking the bottle of champagne... He calls out to Tau who turns around..."
POP!
Jim Jackson: "THE CORK FROM THE BOTTLE HITS TAUFIK ON THE EYE! Ingenious use of the champagne bottle! TK Kenta just used the cork as a flying projectile! That is going to leave a mark. Yuki Monotomo grabs Taufik from behind... German suplex connects! TK Kenta leaps to the apron and uses it to springboard towards Monotomo with the bottle in hand..."
Brad Blood: "Yuki intercepts TK in mid-air with a roundhouse kick! Yuki grabs the bottle which TK dropped... HE DRINKS THE CHAMPAGNE!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik struggles to his feet... YUKI MONOTOMO SMASHES THE BOTTLE ON TOP OF TAUFIK'S HEAD! Taufik falls over the top rope and into the ground outside! Monotomo slides outside, he grabs a console! It's a X-box 360! TK Kenta leaps from the ring apron... Monotomo smashes the X-box 360 into Kenta sending him spinning 360 degrees in the air before crashing down unto the floor."
Brad Blood: "Yuki goes for another item from the crowd. They hand him a spittoon! Yuki turns around... Tau is there waiting for him and stuns him with a kick to the gut! Tau grabs the spittoon from Yuki and smashes it into Yuki's head! EEEEEEEEEEEW!!! THE SPITTOON WAS NOT EMPTY! YUKI IS COVERED IN SPIT!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik is having second thoughts on grabbing a spit covered Yuki Monotomo. Monotomo looks like he's turning green! He's gonna hurl... And Monotomo just puked on Taufik!"
Brad Blood: "IT'S THE TECHNICOLOR YAWN! HE SANG SOUP! TK from behind with a dropkick sends Yuki into Tau! Ooh! Now that is just a mess! TK goes to the crowd and someone hands him a mop! Well ain't that fitting."
Jim Jackson: "TK Kenta uses the mop on both Yuki Monotomo and Taufik! With precise strikes he is keeping both wrestlers at bay! Kenta urges forward pushing the two wrestlers back... HE SLIPS ON YUKI'S PUKE! Taufik uses that opening to wrench the mop from Kenta's hands. TAUFIK BREAKS THE MOP HANDLE ON KENTA'S BACK!"
Brad Blood: "Yuki gets a feather duster from the crowd. He shoves it into Tau's face! While Tau is spitting out feathers, Yuki grabs his head and hits a DDT on Tau! Yuki grabs something from a girl... IT'S A D-CUP BRA! Yuki entwines the bra on Tau's neck and starts choking him!"
Jim Jackson: "TK Kenta is back on his feet. He grabs Yuki Monotomo and Irish whips him to the steel barricade! Tau struggles to his feet. Enzuigiri from Kenta sends him back down! Monotomo struggles back to his feet, TK Kenta uses the steel steps to hit a flying clothesline on Monotomo sending him over the railing and into the crowd! Finally we are seeing some actual wrestling in this match!"
Brad Blood: "TK turns his attention back to Tau! He throws Tau back inside the ring. Springboard legdrop... IT CONNECTS! TK hooks the leg!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Taufik kicks out at two! Irish whip sends Taufik to the ropes. TK Kenta bows down for a back body drop... Taufik counters with a knee to the face! Taufik lands a series of punches. He picks Kenta up and hits a body slam! Taufik sets Kenta up... Piledriver drills Kenta's head into the mat! Taufik hooks the leg!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "TK kicks out at two! Irish whip by Tau sends TK to the ropes. Tau with a clothesline... TK ducks under it! TK heads towards the ropes..."
KLANG!!!
Brad Blood: "YUKI IS WAITING AND AMBUSHES HIM WITH A STAINLESS STEEL TRAY! Yuki quickly enters the ring! He slams the tray on Tau's head but Tau gets his arms up blocking the shot! Tau howls in pain while shaking his arms about!"
KLANG!!!
Jim Jackson: "This time Yuki Monotomo gets his head shot! TAUFIK IS BUSTED OPEN! Monotomo goes for a figure four leglock! Taufik screams in pain! Taufik tries to reach out to the ropes... Monotomo pours on the pressure! TK Kenta is up, he asks the crowd for a weapon... Someone throws something to Kenta..."
WHACK!!!
Brad Blood: "TK just slammed a flat iron into the back of Yuki's head! Yuki is down! Tau wobbles to his feet... TK hits Tau with the iron right on the chin! Tau goes down again! TK drops the iron and goes for the cover!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Taufik gets a shoulder up! TK Kenta can't believe it! Kenta reaches for the iron... IT'S NOT THERE! YUKI MONOTOMO HAS IT AND SMASHES IT INTO KENTA'S FACE! Kenta crumples to the canvas! Monotomo turns around... Tau stuns him with a kick to the gut followed by a facebuster!"
Brad Blood: "TK is back up on his feet, he's using the ropes to prop himself up. Tau charges at TK... TK pulls the top rope down! TAU PUTS ON THE BRAKES AND SENDS TK SPRAWLING TO THE MAT WITH A HAYMAKER! Yuki charges at Tau! Tau pulls the top rope down! YUKI PUTS ON THE BRAKES! Yuki unleashes a kick! TAU BLOCKS IT! Lariat sends Yuki down!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik is on a roll, if he can keep up this momentum he can win this match. Taufik grabs Yuki Monotomo and picks him up... He body slams him on top of TK Kenta! Taufik slips outside and asks for a weapon from the crowd. HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT! TAUFIK WAS JUST HANDED A MEAT CLEAVER! Pardon my French. IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED?!"
Brad Blood: "HELL YEAH! Now things will get interesting! Tau races back into the ring... YUKI AND TK BOLTS OUT OF THE RING! Tau gives chase! Both wrestlers are running for their lives as Tau chases them with a cleaver! Yuki trips TK! TK goes down! Tau takes a swing at TK! TK somehow dodges it and scampers under the ring! Tau now fixes his eyes on Yuki!"
Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo quickly asks for anything from the crowd as Taufik charges towards him... They hand him... A POSTER OF JUSTIN BIEBER! Monotomo curses under his breath as he tears the poster apart!"
Brad Blood: "A MOB OF JUSTIN BIEBER FANS JUST JUMPED OVER THE BARRICADE AND ATTACKED YUKI! Taufik looks on in stunned silence! Security quickly enters and stuns the Bieber fans with stun guns before placing them into a cart and carting them away but the damage has been done to Yuki."
Jim Jackson: "Taufik resumes his charge on Yuki Monotomo! Monotomo begs the crowd for something! Taufik slashes with the cleaver... Yuki Monotomo parries it with a kiddie trike just in the nick of time! Taufik starts slashing and chopping wildly but his efforts are blocked by Monotomo's kiddie trike!"
Brad Blood: "TK just slipped out from under the ring, he grabs... A KITCHEN SINK! He throws the kitchen sink..."
BONK!!!
Brad Blood: "BULLSEYE ON TAU'S HEAD! Yuki slams the kiddie trike on Tau's body until it is just a piece of twisted metal! Somebody hands Yuki a toilet seat! Yuki takes it just as TK leaps towards him!"
Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo uses the toilet seat to catch TK Kenta's head and uses it to swing him into the steel railings! Kenta struggles to his feet, Monotomo charges in... SUPER KICK FROM OUT OF NOWHERE! Monotomo crumples to the ground!"
Brad Blood: "TK asks for a weapon from the crowd. Someone hands him a pillow! TK stares at the pillow in disbelief! He asks for another weapon! Someone hands him a golf ball! TK swears in frustration and asks for another item! This time he gets a... PLASTIC SPORK! The crowd is seriously trolling TK! Wait! It's not just anyone in the crowd! IT'S RAY KAMAURA AND LEON HINOMOTO IN DISGUISE!"
Jim Jackson: "TK Kenta gives up on the weapons in disgust Kamaura and Hinomoto start laughing out loud! Kenta grabs Yuki and throws him back into the ring! Kenta climbs to the top turnbuckle... He flies... 450 splash connects! TK Kenta hooks the leg! Will he get it?"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Tau just pulled TK off of Yuki and under the ropes to the outside! Spinning elbow sends TK to the ground! Tau quickly enters the ring, he signals for his finisher... Tau goes to the top rope, and jumps to a very high elevation and... HITS NOTHING! Tau took too long to set up the T.N.C. Splash and Yuki is able to roll away at the last second!"
Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo grabs Taufik and sets him up for a camel clutch! Taufik screams in pain as Monotomo tries to make him tap! Taufik's attempt to break away is futile, he may tap and we may finally see a winner in this match!"
THWAP!!!
Brad Blood: "Or not! TK just blindsided Yuki with a leg of ham! TK takes a bite from the ham before using it to punt Yuki's head. Tau hits an uppercut after spinning TK around... He picks TK up... Powerslam! Tau grabs the leg of ham... He shoves it into TK's pants and goes for the cover!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Count was interrupted by a kick to the head! Taufik goes down! Monotomo puts Taufik in a single leg Boston crab hold. Taufik screams in pain! He tries to reach for the ropes. Monotomo sits down harder!"
Brad Blood: "It's only a matter of time before Tau taps! C'mon tap! Tap! Tap! Ta... How the?! Tau just pushed himself up again easing the pressure on his leg and back! Tau twists... He grabs hold of Yuki's leg and flings him over! Tau charges at Yuki, back body drop over the top rope! Tau goes flying outside!"
Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo slips back out and grabs a mounted deer head trophy from the crowd... HE SLAMS THE DEER HEAD INTO TAUFIK! Now Taufik has the mounted deer head stuck on his head! Taufik swings around wildly! Monotomo shoves Taufik into the steel steps!"
Brad Blood: "The deer head falls off Tau's head after the impact. Tau looks like he's knocked out! Yuki grabs Tau and starts slamming his head into the steel steps! TK with a flying axe handle from the ring apron!"
Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo is knocked away! Someone hands Monotomo a fire poker! Monotomo swings but TK Kenta jumps out of the way! Monotomo hits Taufik instead!"
Brad Blood: "TK kicks the fire poker out of Yuki's hands... Spinning wheel kick connects! Using Tau's body which is slumped on the steel steps as a stepping board, Kenta flies!"
Jim Jackson: "Flying forearm sends Yuki Monotomo to the mat! Taufik starts to stir... TK Kenta notices and leaps to the ring apron before leaping towards Taufik using a double foot stomp to flatten him again unto the steel steps! "
Brad Blood: "Yuki is stirring... TK get behind Yuki and drops then down to the mat with a full-Nelson swinging facebuster. Then he goes up to the apron, he jumps from the top down to his opponent with a corkscrew 450 splash executing his finisher, That's How an Aussie Flies! Yuki is down! TK asks for a weapon from the crowd again... This time someone hands him... Uh... Is that what I think it is? IT'S A HOMO-EROTIC FRAT PADDLE!"
Jim Jackson: "TK Kenta uses the frat paddle on Taufik who is now a bloodly mess! He heads over to Yuki Monotomo! He starts paddling Monotomo real hard!"
THWACK!!!
THWACK!!!
THWACK!!!
THWACK!!!
THWACK!!!
Brad Blood: "Uh... Is it me or is Yuki getting a boner? Wait! Instead of damaging Yuki the paddling is giving a different effect on Yuki! Yuki seems to be recovering from the homo-erotic paddling! Yuki is up on his feet and screaming in ecstasy! TK's mouth is agape with disbelief! Yuki sweeps TK's leg out from under him and wretches his left arm under TK's neck with the elbow over the Adam's apple. IT'S THE WHITE DRAGON HOLD! TK TAPS! TK TAPS!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!"
DING! DING! DING!
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match by submission... YUKI MONOTOMO!"
Jim Jackson: "What an intense first match this is! Brutal yet skillful! What a way to kick off ULOL's reunion show ain't that right Bra... What the flying fu...?! Brad?! Did you just get aroused by Yuki getting paddled?!"
Brad Blood: "Uh... Ah... Sorry I need to uh... Go for a bathroom break..."
Brad Blood quickly runs away as Yuki Monotomo celebrates his win inside the ring.It's one of those days when people get their wish and gets released from the San Francisco penitentiary. A man is seen leaving the prison gate area. He doesn't really have anything with him, just his classy hat. He hasn't seen the light of day for almost two years and remembers that day like it was yesterday. When he and his associates were arrested... It's definitely been tough on him, it really was. Despite all that, he is thankful for having friends inside, it was really helpful. The organized crime unit that day changed the lives of a lot of his people. There were a few that got shanked and there were a few attempts on his life as well. But he is still here. He is still standing. It was no wonder that he was champion once. At the moment when a few Russian guys wanted to cut his throat, he remembered how he and his buddy at that time Taufik faced their mentor The Mordibly Obese and that gave him the strength to fight them off. There were a lot of prison fights. But that is now behind him. He is now once again a free man. Yes, that's right a man known as GoodFella is now a free man again. He survived those years. And now he is walking out of the damn hellhole he was caged in. He made a promise to himself that he will never go back in that god forbidden place called prison.
He breathes in the warmth of the fresh air...
Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Freedom."
He seems worried a little bit. Because his associate in the family had to pick him up, but he is not there yet. After ten minutes standing, he thought of calling a cab, but then he sees a big black limo driving his way. The driver exits the limo and goes straight to open the passenger door. Arnold was surprised at who picked him up. In fact he hadn't thought that this woman will actually come to pick him up, after those three years. Summer, he remembered her a lot of times when he was inside, the falling out before he went in... And yet she came. Summer Bold: Hello brother, did you actually think that I will not go to pick you up myself and leave you for Felix?"
She chuckles a little.
Summer Bold: "We will have a lot of talking to do. But that is for the future, right now we have to go home. You have to relax and take a bath and maybe some hookers too. You haven't had a girl in three years... Well, one year you were hiding so who knows where you been and what you did... But you needn't tell me that... I don't want to know... All that matters that majority of our family is together now... Come, there are developments we need to discuss, about you and Felix."
Arnold enters the limo and tells the driver that he can drive now.By the time ULOL closed its door Felix Schwarz thought that his life is over. He wanted to pursue acting, but that didn't go through the way he wanted to. So as he was sitting in a bar called "Velvet Revolver" and drinking his ass off at how miserable his life has become, how nobody cared about him. He had felt like a puppet of Arnold Bold aka GoodFella. Until everything changed one day. It was all over the news and in the newspapers about how the organized crime unit had an operation which ended with the incarceration of multiple high profile mafia members and GoodFella was on that list... So as of that moment Felix became the acting boss of the Bold crime family. He wanted out, but he was brought back in. He had no other choice. A few years later he hadn't even thought that Arnold will be coming out of prison anytime soon. He had grown accustomed to running things and he knew that when the time comes, it may cause a rift within the organization.
Felix Schwarz: "You don't understand Dominic you have to be more careful next time. The feds are always watching us. You want to be in the cell next to your brother?"
Dominic Bold: "Why you always have to remind us how Arnold got caught? He is coming home you know."
Dominic hits the table with his fist out of anger.
Felix Schwarz: "Arnold made many mistakes through his time as boss. You of all people know how the family voted."
Suddenly a girl enters his office with an envelope in her hands and gives it Felix. On the envelope, it's written from Marcus Troy by Felix Schwarz. Former wrestler opens the envelope and pulls out the invitation.
Felix Schwarz: "Well, looks like Marcus Troy is planing reunion show and we are invited. Guess we can't pass an opportunity like this. To see the old gang back together. For one show and one night only. Let's go, we still need to talk to your brother."
Felix and Dominic leaves the office And goes to their car and soon drives away.The sounds of a gasping crowd can be heard as a large masked man loomed over the seemingly lifeless body. It has been a massacre of a match in the small hall, for a seemingly small Japanese wrestling company. The masked man pinned the remains of the other wrestler he had just thrown off the top ropes onto a steel chair, received a not so shocking three count and got up. The Reaper had claimed another victim.
After the match the man climbed out of the ring and threw his brown trench coat over his shoulders. His wrestling gear was tattered and had not even a hint of a logo to advertise who he was. They just called him the due to the way he treated his opponents during his matches.
Once in his locker room the man removed his mask, the scars all over the face he hid told a story of a long career. He has wrestled for many years and for numerous companies, yet here in the land of the rising dun he was simply a side show attraction, something akin to wrestling torture porn. Right as he was about to grab his gear and leave the arena the sound of a phone buzzing rung through the tiny locker room, seemingly startled the man picked it up and answered and before even a greeting could be uttered the man nearly dropped the phone in shock.
???: "A reunion show? This isn't some hoax or a joke is it? I see... I am very sorry to hear that, Eunice was a very wise business woman. A what? You're kidding! Tell him I will be there within the next three days, it's been much too long since the states saw Shogun. And even longer since I've been so happy to hear something."
Shogun closed the phone and smiled a gnarled smile, you might even be fooled to think he won the lottery if you didn't know him. He quickly grabbed all of his belongings and left the small hall he called home, heading for the closest airport he could find.
Shogun: "No ULOL show should ever be without me...and I could never pass up the chance to go there one more time."
He clenched his hands into fists as he walked, the United League of Lunatics had been a reawakening of an old fire for Shogun when he first debuted there and had his long run as one of the most dominant wrestlers in the company. However after it's closing he had been so shamed from the events that he swore never to wrestle in the states again, he even wore a mask when he went to Japan to keep the memories of his lost name pent up.
Now he would finally see the people he called comrades again. The ones who had betrayed him and the ones who made him the wrestler he was then and is now. Finally he would get the closure to his story and maybe even the beginning of a new one. The once abandoned and dark halls of the United League of Lunatics arena now are lighted and bustling with activity as workers and wrestlers travel to and fro, busily getting ready to play their part in the coming show. One figure in front of the camera isn’t bustling around, however. His hands are against the wall steadying his light frame as he uses a nearby crate to stretch his leg out. After a brief moment, the man finishes his stretch and turns, noticing the camera that is recording the pre-show activities. With a smile, Alexander Melchiott reminisces the old days of the ULOL, where this excitement was the norm. Getting back to reality, Alexander gives a motion for the camera to come closer. The ULOL has always been known for presenting the unexpected, and this -- although small -- would be no exception as Alexander greets the camera with an attempt at an Australian accent.
Alexander Melchiott: “And here we have the fabled wild camera, loose on the world. A truly magnificent sight! These rare birds are few and far between. Usually, you can only find them in a very controlled environment. Just seeing one of these without having to go through paperwork and waiting lists is truly remarkable.”
After a giggle at his own odd sense of humor, Alexander clears his throat.
Alexander Melchiott: “Anyway, since you are here, I think it’s time that I explain what’s going to be happening here tonight. You see, the United League of Lunatics was known for unexpected moments, great matches, and remarkable talent. Unfortunately, that came to an end…that is, until tonight. Because you see, for one night only, the United League of Lunatics is primed and ready to put on a hell of a show! No titles, no politics, no bullshit. Tonight is about one thing and one thing only – this. All of this.”
Alexander spreads his arms, as if to encompass the idea as he speaks.
Alexander Melchiott: “Tonight is about the United League of Lunatics; not just the wrestlers, not just the brand, not just the arena, not Marcus Troy, and not even just about the fans. Tonight is about everything – everything that it means to be a Lunatic. Tonight is for the wrestlers. Tonight is for the brand. Tonight is for this arena, it’s for Marcus Troy, it’s for Eunice and you can be damn sure that is for you fans. Tonight is about giving everyone closure and giving this company some redemption. Tonight is going to make up for the years that this company hasn’t been here. For the years that you fans haven’t been given a show. And for the years that we wrestlers haven’t been able to do what we do best. Tonight, we’re going to put everything we have into this one moment, and it’s going to be a hell of a moment!”
Despite struggling to hold back his excitement and passion, Alexander sticks a finger into the air.
Alexander Melchiott: “But, if we are going to be together for only one night, then we’re going to do something special. So, for One…Night…Only, Alexander Melchiott is going to be sharing the spotlight with somebody else. For One…Night…Only, Alexander Melchiott is going to be teaming with his best friend. For ONE NIGHT ONLY, Team Symphony, Alexander Melchiott and Andrew Hunter, are going to steal the show!”Andrew Hunter: "And, just in case you didn't quite catch it..."
The camera pans over, revealing none other than Andrew Hunter. In full wrestling attire to boot!
Andrew Hunter: "That means ONE NIGHT ONLY!... of Alexander Melchiott and myself existing in the same stadium with a common purpose."
Andrew smiles and glances to his companion.
Andrew Hunter: "That purpose, of course, being to create a beautiful symphony of victory, showmanship..."
Andrew extends both his arms, as though the glory of the moment had caught up to him.
Andrew Hunter: "... And total, complete, utter LUNACY!" | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Lucha Loco Reunion Show 07/31/2014 Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:42 am | |
|  The first thought that came into his mind when he entered his old and abandoned locker room was Manolo Ferrer. GoodFella & Schwarz were good, but that man made them champions. And he will be forever in debt to that man. And also remembered those victories and championship matches.
Felix Schwarz: "It's really pity that this federation couldn't live longer than it actually had." Felix hears the doors being opened and turns around, he can't help but grin from who he sees. It's Arnold Bold.
Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "I've got the message from Summer that I will find you here. Today is my first day of freedom out of that hell hole."
Despite his freedom, Arnold doesn't seem to be very happy today. Maybe because so much time has passed. And only thing that isn't moving forward is he.
Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Summer told me that you got married and now you have a son. One of these days you will have to show me him. I want to meet him."Felix looks melancholic seeing his old tag team partner, a guy he considered a friend at some point. Despite of all the differences that they had in the past, Felix now know that he is not being pushed around anymore by this man. He remembers those days with fright, but now it actually makes him happy because he knows deep inside that he is not afraid anymore and has moved on with his life while Arnold had to throw away 3 years of his life. Still he has enough tact to not show that satisfaction on his face.
Felix Schwarz: "My dear friend, I am so glad to see that you are now finally out of the prison. We've been all counting days till that happens. A lot of things have changed through that period of time as you might know. However, I hope that we will work things out. One of these days I will show you my son, you know my wife already because it's Gina. She is so happy right now. We do have some little problem between the families... But that's something that I will tell you later. Let bygones be bygones between us. Tonight we start anew."Back in one of the formally abandoned locker room, the camera pans around to take a look at the room. Once dilapidated, the room now looked clean and up to code. It's amazing what a fresh coat of paint, new benches, and new lockers can accomplish. It was almost like old times as two wrestlers prepared themselves for their match. However, unlike old times, the wrestlers sharing this locker room were the former rivals Alexander Melchiott and Andrew Hunter.
Alexander Melchiott: "Are you ready for tonight?"
Melchiott's sudden question breaks the silence that the two men had been sharing.
Alexander Melchiott: "Tonight you and I have a ladder match against the teams GoodFella & Schwarz and the Oriental Spices. Both of those teams have held tag team gold in the past. They've proven that they can win the big matches; and whether we want to admit it or not, this is going to be our biggest match here in the United League of Lunatics."
Alexander pauses briefly as he finishes taping up his wrists. Setting the athletic tape down, Alexander looks Hunter in the eyes before continuing.
Alexander Melchiott: "I know that on any other day of the week; any other week of the month; any other month of the year... that you would be willing to put it all on the line. You would put all of your chips on the table -- risk everything -- if it meant that you could put on a good show."
Alexander holds up a finger.
Alexander Melchiott: "But tonight isn't any other night. Tonight isn't just another card and this isn't just another ladder match. No, because tonight is about much, much more than that. Tonight celebrates all the men and women who have ever stepped foot in this building! Tonight celebrates those that can't be with us here today, and tonight celebrates each and every one of those fans! That's why we can't put on just another performance. Win or lose, we have to put on a performance that not only steals this show, but steals every single show that the United League of Lunatics has ever had because that's what being a Lunatic is all about!"
Alexander Melchiott: "I am the ULOL! You are the ULOL! TMOM is the ULOL! Eunice is the ULOL! These fans are the ULOL! So tonight, I need to know that you are ready to face annihilation to put on a once in a life-time performance."Unfortunately, Alexander's speech was met with a silence that quickly became quite awkward. Hunter, falling into his old habits, adjusts his elbow pads, though didn't seem to change anything.
Andrew Hunter: "All do respect, taking risks is all I seem to do nowadays... Can I tell you something? It's been kinda eating at me."
Andrew sighs and stands up slightly straighter.
Andrew Hunter: "Back when Eunice was still alive and ULOL was still... You know, a weekly thing, Eunice always seemed to put so much faith in me. I mean, she seemed to put faith in all the wrestlers here too. But... I feel like I'm the only wrestler in this entire building that... Well, failed."
Andrew seems to slump down at that. He puts up his finger, stopping his partner from jumping in and saying something.
Andrew Hunter: "I mean, look around. Ray Kamaura has won countless championships, Connelly is still a household name, Shogun stole the show on my own turf, TMOM..., well, everyone I see seems to have accomplished something... And you, hell, you have never once stopped proving that every single one of your those grand statements and speeches of opulence completely true. And me... I decided that I was tired of getting hit."
Hunter sighs once again, looking down to his feet and shaking his head. It seems like he's having trouble finding words.
Andrew Hunter: "I quit. I stopped wrestling, stopped looking for fights, stopped standing up to obnoxious pricks - no offense- Alexander shrugs.-, I just... stopped. Well, I guess not stopped, just chose a different direction. An easier direction, one where I wouldn't get hit anymore. A direction that wouldn't lead to me being broken. I suppose, in hindsight, that that means that I already was. In a sense, anyhow."
Andrew pauses, nervously straightening his elbow pads again, though he seems to catch himself and instead takes a seat on a bench.
Andrew Hunter: "... Everything you knew for a fact about me... Everything I knew. It just wasn't right. I wasn't unbreakable. I suppose it could be considered a blessing that I learned that lesson before... I made a bet I just couldn't back up."
Andrew glances to the camera.
Andrew Hunter:" ... I suppose that the only reason this is hitting me is because we're here tonight because a woman who lived for this business passed away, still doing her utmost to keep this sport alive."
Alexander opens his mouth to speak, but seems to take a closer look at his partner's face and opts for silence.
Andrew Hunter: "... Heh... Hehaha!"
Andrew suddenly starts laughing. Not so much a happy-go-lucky lunatic type laugh, but rather a resigned sort of laugh. The sort you'd expect to hear from someone trying to cover up a moment of weakness.
Andrew hunter: "But we're not here to talk about that, are we? No, not us, not the fans, not anyone. Tonight, for me, is about righting a mistake, and proving that wrestling spirit never leaves someone. Not even when they take their battlefield to a table as opposed to a ring. The point here is not to win, the point is to put on the best show possible for the best. Show. Possible! So, no, mister Meowlchiott-"
Alexander Melchiott: "Melchiott."
Andrew Hunter: "I'll get it eventually. But no, no I am not willing to risk everything tonight."
Andrew pauses and smirks, seeming to truly enjoy himself for the first time all night.
Andrew Hunter: "A risk implies that it is not a 100% success rate. And, buddy... We just drew a royal flush. Hell, if I can go city to city leaving thunderous applause in my wake, and make people forget about their lives for just one moment, with nothing more than a handful of playing cards!... Then just imagine what I can do with a ladder, a partner who has constantly tested me and forced me to become one of the best there is in, out, and all around the damn ring, and opponents who understand what it means to fight... to wrestle! ... if not necessarily what they've gotten themselves into for agreeing to this match."
Andrew laughs once more, this time not resigned in the slightest. He stands up tall, nearly jumping with excitement.
Andrew Hunter: "Annihilation? Bring it! Show stealing? Just what the doctor ordered! Lunacy? We are a UNITED League of LUNATICS! You need to know that I'm ready for a once in a lifetime performance? Heh..."
Andrew Hunter: "I can honestly say that, by the end of the night, I will be able to die happy. And that those who have already passed will be able to turn and smile in their graves. That is the kind of performance I will bring tonight. Truly. Once in a lifetime."
Andrew seems to calm down quite a bit, though the smile hasn't quite left his face.
Andrew Hunter: "... All in."
Andrew extends his hand to his one night only partner.Alexander Melchiott: "That's what I wanted to hear."
With a grin, Melchiott clasps his partner's hand.
Alexander Melchiott: "Let's tear this place down!"
A sense of confidence fills the room as the scene fades.A taxi cab skids into the ULOL parking lot. The door quickly swings open just as the wheels of the cab stops spinning.
?: "Thanks mister, here keep the change."
Nao Fook Mi steps out of the cab, quickly followed by the pint-sized Little Wang. Hauling a gym back on her shoulder and her luggage, the oriental beauty quickly makes her way to the ULOL building.
Nao Fook Mi: "I can't believe we almost didn't make it! Quickly Wang, we still have to prep. We're just like fifteen minutes away from our match tonight!"Little Wang: "I know, I know! It's that damned airline, we were delayed for over 3 hours because of their little engine trouble. But hey at least we are here. I can't believe we are back here again. I never thought that we would be competing here in this place again. We have to thank Boy Bakla for the invitation he, she, it sent us once this night is over."
Little Wang holds open the door for Nao Fook Mi as she quickly strolls. The little wrestler follows suit as the camera fades to black. &  VS &  VS &  Jim Jackson: "We proceed to our second televised match of the evening and it will be a special match indeed. This time it's features the cooperation of two wrestlers! That's right ladies and gents it's a tag team match but this is NO ORDINARY tag team match. In fact it's a Triple Threat Tornado Tag Team Special Prize Ladder match! The first team to climb up the ladder and take down the special prize in a briefcase hanging twenty feet up above the ring shall win the match and the special prize in the briefcase!"
Brad Blood: "Of course the special prize is sponsored by a company which we shall reveal at the end of the match! So let us get this match rolling! On to you Jasmine!"
Jasmine Lee: "Thank you Brad, ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Triple Threat Tornado Tag Team Special Prize Ladder Match! Introducing first, the team of Alexander Melchiott and Andrew Hunter, Melchiott and Hunter!"
"Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F blares throughout the arena as Alexander Melchiott steps out from the backstage of the ULOL. He looks over the booing audience before he walks down to the ring.
Thunderous applaud comes from the crowd as "Joker and the Thief" by Wolfmother blasts throughout the arena. Andrew Hunter makes his way out onto the ramp, and takes a good look around while straitening his elbow pads. He pumps his arms in the air to go with the crowd's cheer, before making his way to the ring.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, the team of Arnold "GoodFella" Bold and Felix Schwarz, GoodFella & Schwarz!"
"Fire Flame" by Birdman starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off and after a few seconds it starts again as Felix Schwarz and Arnold "GoodFella" Bold are standing in the middle of the ring and waving to their fans.
Jasmine Lee: "And introducing last, the team of Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi, Oriental Spices!"
Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. Little Wang follows behind her wearing stilts. They quickly makes their way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. They bow and give their respect to the crowd before heading to their corner.
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
DING!
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! All three teams circle the ring cautiously waiting for the right moment to strike. Andrew Hunter goes for a ladder! GoodFella and Schwarz go after him but Alexander Melchiott blindsides both of them with stiff clotheslines. Oriental Spices with a double dropkick on Melchiott takes him out! Here comes Andrew Hunter with the ladder!"
THWACK!
Brad Blood: "Ooh! Fooked Mi got Fooked! Wait, Wang was not hit by the ladder as it went over his head! He dropkicks Andrew's shin! Andrew drops the ladder on his own foot! Wang from the second rope... Springboard headbutt to Andrew's gut! Again Wang leaps unto the ropes... GOODFELLA JUST INTERCEPTED AND PUNTED WANG OVER THE TOP ROPE!"
Jim Jackson: "Felix Schwarz takes Andrew Hunter down with a bulldog! Irish whip by Arnold "GoodFella" Bold sends Alexander Melchiott to the ropes. Back body drop sends him flying into the air! Nao Fook Mi with a spinning sidekick sends Bold flying! Schwarz comes in to attack but a Hurricanrana sends him over to the top rope!"
Brad Blood: "Fooked Mi just showed us that she can fook like the best of them! Fook Mi sets up the ladder... Alexander comes charging in! Fook Mi sidesteps and sends Alexander crashing into the ladder head first! Andrew takes this opportunity to strike! He scoops Fook Mi up! Hard elbows to Andrew's head facilitates Fook Mi's escape!"
Jim Jackson: "Nao Fook Mi from the second rope. Springboard spinning elbow! Andrew Hunter eats that elbow! Nao sets up the ladder and begins her ascent. Arnold "GoodFella" Bold shoves the ladder off-balance! Nao Fook Mi goes down with the ladder! Little Wang from out of nowhere hits a flying headbutt right into Bold! Felix Schwarz enters the ring, he tries to punt Little Wang! HE MISSES!"
Brad Blood: "Wang leaps unto Felix's back! He wraps his pigtail around Felix's neck and starts choking him! Double clothesline from both Alexander and Andrew takes both Felix and Wang down! GoodFella struggles to his feet, double kick to the gut followed by a double suplex by Alexander and Andrew takes him out!"
Jim Jackson: "Nao Fook Mi is up again behind Melchiott and Hunter and she has the ladder! She throws the ladder! Melchiott and Hunter catches it! Springboard dropkick by Nao on the ladder sends Melchiott and Hunter reeling along with the ladder! Nao Fook Mi goes for the same move again! Melchiott and Hunter throws the ladder and NAO FOOK MI CRASHES INTO IT IN MID-AIR!"
Brad Blood: "Ooh! That's gonna leave a mark! GoodFella takes Andrew out with a lariat! Alexander takes revenge with a snapmare on GoodFella! Felix hits Alexander with a spear! Felix grabs a new ladder and slides it into the ring! He sets up the ladder. Wang leaps through the space in-between the rungs and slams into Felix head first! He may be little but his head is hard!"
Jim Jackson: "Little Wang begins his ascent up the ladder! Wait! Andrew Hunter grabs him by his pigtail and pulls him down! Holding on to the pigtail, Hunter swings Little Wang around before releasing him sending him flying right into Arnold "GoodFella" Bold! Nao Fook Mi hits an enzuigiri on Hunter! She turns around, she gets stunned by a European uppercut by Alexander Melchiott! Melchiott locks a sleeper hold in!"
Brad Blood: "Fook Mi is fading fast! Her struggles slowly stop... She's gone! Alexander has put Fook Mi to bed! Alexander turns around... Big knee from Felix stuns him! Neckbreaker connects and Alexander is down! Felix starts his climb up the ladder!"
Jim Jackson: "Andrew Hunter leaps up the opposite side of the ladder as well! Both wrestlers are trying to reach the top first! Felix Schwarz is almost there... Hunter catches up to him! They start trading punches from the top of the ladder! Nao Fook Mi gains consciousness! She sees both wrestlers on top of the ladder! She uses the top rope to springboard herself up the ladder as well and lands between Hunter and Schwarz! Consecutive left and right elbows sends both Hunter and Schwarz down! Nao has a clear view of the briefcase!"
Brad Blood: "Alexander shoves the ladder but Fook Mi was able to leap and roll out to safety! Alexander takes Fook Mi down with a Russian legsweep! Felix comes charging in but Hunter blindsides him with a discus clothesline! Arnold has gotten hold of the ladder! He slams it into Melchiott and Hunter! Both wrestlers go over the top rope! Wang just leaps unto Arnold's shoulders! He's piggybacking Arnold!"
Jim Jackson: "Don't count the little guy out! Little Wang with a double ear clap on Arnold "GoodFella" Bold while riding him! Little Wang starts raining down punches on GoodFella's head! Bold drops the ladder tries to get rid of the tiny wrestler but Little Wang hangs on! Nao Fook Mi with a springboard crossbody on GoodFella! GoodFella lands right on the ladder on the ground!"
Brad Blood: "Felix is up again! He grabs Fook Mi and lifts her up for an Argentine backbreaker rack! Wang helps her partner out and bites into Felix's leg! Felix screams in pain and lets go! Springboard DDT by Fook Mi takes Felix out! The Oriental Spices set a ladder up! Wang starts climbing! Melchiott and Hunter have climbed up to the ring apron... Fook Mi takes them both out with a double clothesline! Down they go again! Don't tell me the little twerp will take the briefcase!"
Jim Jackson: "Arnold "GoodFella" Bold from nowhere Irish whips Nao Fook Mi into the ladder! The ladder tips over and down it goes! Little Wang leaps off the ladder as it tips over and hits a missile drop kick on GoodFella! Felix Schwarz grabs Little Wang and lifts him up... POWERBOMB! Little Wang bounced off the mat and through the ropes!"
Brad Blood: "I think he's dead Jim! Felix sets the ladder up again! He starts his climb. Alexander pulls him down! Big right by Andrew sends him to the mat and Alexander quickly puts him in a Texas cloverleaf! Andrew starts his climb up the ladder! Arnold sneaks up between Andrew's legs... Powerbomb! Andrew is down! Arnold rushes in to save his partner. Alexander is on to him! He quickly releases Felix and intercepts Arnold with a tilt-a-whirl slam RIGHT ON TOP OF FELIX!"
Jim Jackson: "Alexander Melchiott now has a clear path up the ladder! Wait I spoke too soon! Nao Fook Mi is up! A side kick sends Melchiott reeling! Big knee by Nao connects! Nao Fook Mi throws a right... Melchoitt intercepts it and takes her down with an armbreaker!"
Brad Blood: "Alexander starts his climb up the ladder! No one is there to stop him! He's inching his way to the top... Wait! Wang just springboarded from the top rope and clings to Alexander's leg! Alexander tries to shake Wang off but Wang digs in! Felix struggles and crawls to the bottom of the ladder, he tries to tip the ladder! It's starting to tip!"
Jim Jackson: "Andrew Hunter from out of nowhere saves the ladder from tipping! Using his back he pushes the ladder back upright! Hunter goes to work on Schwarz! Alexander Melchiott is using his free leg to kick Little Wang off him. Arnold "GoodFella" Bold sets a second ladder up and begins his climb up it!"
Brad Blood: "Andrew realizes this and climbs up after Arnold! He clings on Arnold's leg! Felix slowly rises to his feet. Fook Mi grabs him and whips him into the ladders! BOTH LADDERS TIP OVER AND FOUR MEN ARE SENT FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE! This match is BRUUUUUUUUUUUTAL!"
Jim Jackson: "Nao Fook Mi grabs Felix Schwarz by the head... She starts slamming his head unto a ladder! SCHWARZ IS BUSTED OPEN! Nao grabs a ladder and sets it up... She starts her climb up the ladder. Wait bloodied and all Felix Schwarz still manages to pull himself up and lock on to Nao Fook Mi's leg!"
Brad Blood: "I bet there are other parts of Fook Mi Felix would also like to lock on to... Ooh! Felix manages to pull Fook Mi down! But Fook Mi kung fus Felix's ass! Felix goes down as Fook Mi connects with a series of kicks ala Chun-Li! Andrew is back up on the apron, Fook Mi charges in, Andrew slingshots over the top rope and intercepts her with a flying shoulder block!"
Jim Jackson: "Little Wang is up on the apron now! He leaps at Andrew Hunter! Hunter catches him in mid-air and hits a backbreaker! Wait! He doesn't notice Arnold "GoodFella" Bold behind him! Bold locks him from behind... Rolling Germans! One! Two! Three! Hunter is seeing stars!"
Brad Blood: "He's seeing whole solar systems! Arnold grabs a ladder, he's setting it up... Dropkick by Alexander and the ladder slams shut on Arnold's fingers! Arnold howls in pain! Alexander with a double leg takedown sends Arnold to the mat! He transitions to an armbar!"
Jim Jackson: "Arnold "GoodFella" Bold howls in pain! If Alexander Melchiott keeps this up, he may dislocate GoodFella's shoulder! Felix Schwarz saves his partner from further pain with an elbow drop on Melchiott's face! Double team by GoodFella and Schwarz! Double Irish whip to the ropes..."
Brad Blood: "Alexander bounces back and is sent flying with a double back body drop! GoodFella and Schwarz sets up a ladder. Felix starts climbing since Arnold's fingers are still suffering form Alexander's assault earlier."
Jim Jackson: "Nao Fook Mi is on the top turnbuckle! She leaps unto the ladder on the back of Felix Schwarz! Reverse Frankensteiner! Schwarz is down! GoodFella grabs Nao from behind... A series of back elbows sends Bold reeling! Pele kick from Nao Fook Mi and Bold goes down!"
Brad Blood: "Andrew Hunter is up again! He tries to grab hold onto Fook Mi... Fook Mi spins free and counters with a jawbreaker! Alexander catches Fook Mi from behind! He's going for a sleeper again! No! Fook Mi slips free!"
Jim Jackson: "A kick to the knee sends Alexander Melchiott to one knee... Shining wizard by Nao Fook Mi! Felix Schwarz struggles to his feet... Nao charges towards him... Sliced bread no. 5! Arnold "GoodFella" Bold staggers around, Nao Fook Mi runs towards him and hits a running bulldog! Nao Fook Mi is cleaning house!"
Brad Blood: "That she is Jim! That she is! Fook Mi sets the ladder up and starts to climb up! Wang is also back on his feet. He quickly guards the ladder! Fook Mi is half-way up... Andrew is up! Wang tries to distract him..."
Jim Jackson: "ANDREW HUNTER PUNTS LITTLE WANG OVER THE TOP ROPE! And there he goes! AGAIN! But you got to hand it to Little Wang, even if he knows that his size is a big disadvantage, he still shows tenacity and heart."
Brad Blood: "That's what I call masochism Jim. Fook Mi is almost to the top! Andrew starts shaking the ladder! Fook Mi's foot slips! She falls and hangs upside down on the ladder! Fook Mi's foot is stuck on a ladder rung!"
Jim Jackson: "Andrew Hunter starts his ascent up the ladder while Nao Fook Mi is still stuck upside down! Wait Felix Schwarz is back up on his feet! But so is Alexander Melchiott! Schwarz tries to go after the ladder but Melchiott intercepts him and they get into a grappling match!"
Brad Blood: "And of course Alexander comes out on top! Felix is now trapped in a kimura lock! Andrew continues his ascent but is being hindered by an upside down Fook Mi! Arnold makes it back to his feet! He looks at his partner trapped by Alexander, he looks at the ladder... HE GOES FOR THE LADDER!"
Jim Jackson: "Tactically it's a sound move for Arnold "GoodFella" Bold. Everyone is occupied, he can make use of that to scamper up the ladder and get the briefcase! And that is what he is doing! GoodFella is on the other side of the ladder and quickly climbs up... He makes it past the point where Andrew Hunter and Nao Fook Mi are tangled up! Nao is still holding on to Hunter's leg preventing him from going past her!"
Brad Blood: "Holy crap! Arnold has made it to the top! He's almost there! Wait! Wang has just slid back into the ring! He scampers up the ladder! He pulls on Arnold's pants!"
SHRIIIIIIIIP!!!
Jim Jackson: "Oh that is not a pretty sight! Arnold "GoodFella" Bold turns into a deep shade of red as he tries to cover his um... thingee! Wang tries to scamper up past Bold... Alexander Melchiott tips the ladder over!"
Brad Blood: "We have a pile of bodies under the ladder! Felix is nursing his arm, he tries to attack Alexander but is sent to the mat with a legsweep. Alexander grabs a ladder... He slams it on top of Felix!"
Jim Jackson: "Alexander Melchiott is the only one standing as of this moment, he takes a second ladder he sets it up through the rung of the ladder which is on top of Felix Schwarz effectively trapping him! He climbs the ladder! Will he make it?"
Brad Blood: "Fook Mi is slowly staggering back to her feet. She uses the last of her strength to climb the other side of the ladder! Alexander slips a bit but quickly regains his balance! Fook Mi catches up and it's now a race between the two wrestlers! Alexander gets to the top first! Fook Mi tries to stop him but is met with a hard elbow sending her flying off to the canvas! Alexander reaches for the case... HE TAKES IT DOWN! WE HAVE A WINNER!"
DING! DING! DING!
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and the special prize, the team of Alexander Melchiott and Andrew Hunter, MELCHIOTT AND HUNTER! And now to reveal the special prize..."
Alexander Melchiott slowly opens the briefcase as Andrew Hunter struggles to his feet to try and get a peek. A look of disgust spreads across Melchiott's face...
Jasmine Lee: "Congratulations to Melchiott and Hunter for being the recipients of..."
Jasmine Lee: "That's right! FREE CAT from freecat.com!"
Brad Blood: "Aww can you look at that, Melchiott and Hunter are so touched they are speechless!"
Jim Jackson: "I think that's the face of utter disgust... At least from Alexander Melchiott's face, Hunter looks like he's pretty pleased with the prize..."The lights in the venue begin to dim until they go out completely. Just as the crowd started to complain, The Uninvited by Alter Bridge began to play over the loud speakers. As the heavy guitar riffs start to boom and echo throughout the venue, the lights begin to flash on and off rapidly. As the lyrics of the sang begin a spotlight drops over the entrance ramp, revealing a former hero and villain of ULOL, Shogun.
The crowd explodes in emotion for the very tattered looking wrestler, his blood red hair covered most of his face as he slowly made the trek to the ring. His coat and wrestling gear were in similar poor shape to his hair, face, and body cut up and scared from many years of dismal conditions. As he rolled into the ring he sat in the middles of the ring on his knees, arms outstretched in an embrace for the people in the arena before his music cut and a microphone was given to him.
Shogun: "I've never been so honored in all my years in this sport to get this kind of reaction from a crowd. It's been so many years without even a peep from me, I figured you would all be ready to hate me if I showed my face. Yet here I am and here you all are going crazy for me like I wrestle for you every week!"
Shogun was smiling, as gnarled a smile as you could get from a face like his. He seemed overjoyed at the reaction from the crowd.
Shogun: "After my home here in ULOL was molested and destroyed I took a vow never to wrestle in the same venue as Marcus Troy or Raven Connoly ever again. Tonight I break that vow to give you people the show, and the explanation you deserve for my absence."
Shogun: "You see, I was so ashamed at how my career in this place ended, I put a mask on my face and went to Japan. I threw my old name away and destroyed poor up and comers unfortunate enough to be placed into the same ring as me. I was a sideshow attraction, I had no name other than the Reaper, which was just what the people shouted about after a "match". I do not regret what I did, but I also will not pretend that I was not being a good man by letting myself be used as a poor mans torture porn star."
Shogun: "I've been watching many of the former stars of this company succeed in my stead. Raven being forgiven, Ray dominating against worthless competition the way I could tell he would one day. All well earned for the names they built here. As much as I openly resent Raven for her actions, I know that everyone will always be forgiven by you wonderful people."
Shogun shook his head and brushed his tangled hair out of his eyes so he could see the people more clearly.
Shogun: "I may not have ever truly been the "good guy" many of you saw me as, however I also know what it is like to turn my back on an audience over and over only to be welcomed back with open arms. Even Marcus Troy himself was forgiven by you all, if that is not proof of the mercy you fans carry around with you I don't know what is!"
Shogun: "However, I am not someone who will simply come here for a little reunion show, just to destroy someone who rankly, I don't even remember. I refuse to leave things left unsaid again! I won't get to truly wrestle for you people again tonight, as I've been booked in some horrific brutal cage match, but I will at least try to get you all the same closure I need while my mind is still in the right place to do it."
Shogun: "So if Marcus, or Raven would like to come on out here and have a little talk, I'd be very pleased, because I need to get some closure before I tear that poor kid apart later.".
With that Shogun lowered the microphone to wait, hoping someone would come out to speak with him after all these years he spent brooding."Machine Gun Blues" by Social Distortion starts to play over the arena speakers. The crowd erupts in cheers, after the first few chords fireworks fire out from the stage and Raven Connoly walks out from backstage. Raven has on a pair of red plaid pants, red converse high top shoes that go up to mid calf, her wrists and hands are tapped up in athletic tape, and she has on a black tank top. Her fire red hair has a few strands of jet black scattered throughout and it is pulled into pig tails. She pauses on the stage for a moment and looks around the crowded arena at all the cheering fans and smiles. She makes eye contact with Shogun and starts her way down the ramp. She grabs a mic and climbs into the ring.
Raven Connoly: "First, I want to thank all of you for that welcome, it means more to me then you can ever know."
The crowd erupts again into deafening cheers.
Raven Connoly: "Now, for you Shogun. I know you are still clearly angry with me, and I do not blame you for a second. The way I acted here towards the end is unforgivable. I became a horrible, despicable person. I did a lot of awful things to a lot of good people. I screwed and cheated everyone I could to get to the top of this company. I stabbed a lot of people I considered friends in the back, and that includes you. I was a cold, conniving, horrid bitch, plain and simple."
Raven's eyes clearly have hurt behind them as she continues to speak, not taking her eyes off Shoguns.
Raven Connoly: "There are people here who would counter with the fact that you too, did some less then honorable things here in ULOL. However, that does not excuse what I did to you, and to a lot of other people here. Nao, Andrew Hunter, Bakla, TMOM, my own Father, the list goes on and on. Yes, these fans have forgiven me, and I've gone on to have more success then I could have ever imagined in this business. There is still a piece of my heart that is heavy from what I did to all of you."
Raven Connoly: "When I first heard of this reunion show, I considered not coming, knowing how I left. I decided I would come back here, not for the fanfare, but to offer my forgiveness to everyone here I hurt. By no means do I expect you, or anyone else here to accept my apologies. I'm not going to try to explain, or excuse what I did. All I can do is ask for forgiveness for the pain I caused. This is a hard business to be in, and we do what we can to get ahead. I did things I'm not proud of, that I'm ashamed of. However, I will not deny that I did them, I will not pretend it never happened. You can choose to forgive me or not, but Shogun, you know you were someone I looked up to more than anyone. You were someone I watched and idolized as a child. You were a mentor to me here for a while as well. After all of that, I slapped you in the face. I want you to know I am deeply sorry for what I did to you."
Raven lowers her microphone, tears have begun to form in her eyes, and waits for Shogun's response.After hearing what Raven had to say, Shogun lowered his head before raising the microphone again.
Shogun: "You know, that's the one thing you've always had more of than just about any other person I have ever faced in the business. Whether you were the kindhearted Raven out to stop me from a reign of destruction, the rookie trying to make a name for herself against the legendary demon, or just coming out here to ask for forgiveness. You have always had ten times the amount of guts anyone else I've faced had."
Shogun raised his head, he smiled as he looked at Raven again.
Shogun: "I've never seen an ounce of fear in your eyes before, but I wouldn't have to be a smart betting man to know that you felt it before deciding to come back to this building. I know I certainly did. No one knew what to expect when they got the call, I only knew to expect the worst and hope for the best. No matter what happens to me tonight I am very happy that I finally made the trip back here."
Shogun: "I feel like I have finally repented for the sins of my past, I honestly deserved what I put myself through in Japan. I always blamed myself for the fall of this company, for giving all the young people like you such a horrible example to follow! You said yourself that you looked up to me and watched me as a child. Do you think I ever forgot that after what happened? I've held myself responsible for it all!"
Shogun: "But I knew that eventually you would turn around again...I even recall telling you that it would haunt you. That was from experience, though I have a lot more to cope with than you do when it comes to betrayal. I betrayed you and slapped you in the face far more often that you did I, and just like you forgave me, I feel that it's time I put my grudge away and shook your hand Raven."
Shogun sighed, releasing a great weight he held on his shoulder for years. Raising his arm, Shogun extended his hand out to Raven as the crowd went bonkers again.
Shogun: "Maybe after all of this is said and done we can talk some more about these past few years. What do you say? Truce at last?"From out of the first row, Ray Kamaura, Master and Overlord of the DWMA emerged. He didn't speak, he didn't approach the ring, he only stood still. A camera man moved in for a close up on Ray's beautiful face. Ray then did something completely unexpected.
Ray Kamaura: "Yoink."
Ray grabbed the camera and swiftly ran back into the crowd. The Jumbo Tron showed the stairs he was running up. Eventually the feed was cut and another camera was used in the stolen camera's place. The camera man was most likely fired.Raven Connoly: "Well, that was..., odd."
Raven turns back to Shogun who looks equally confused.
Raven Connoly: "I would love nothing more then to be able to sit down with you again and have one of our talks."
Raven reaches out and grabs Shogun's hand and shakes it as the crowd goes crazy.
Raven Connoly: "Truce!"
Raven smiles and then holds Shogun's hand up in the air as the crowd goes complete;y crazy. She then leans in and gives him a quick hug before nodding her head. She looks out in the crowd and then points at Shogun again. The crowd continues to cheer wildly as Raven backs up against the ropes and does a back flip over them and then jumps down from the ring.As Raven left the ring Shogun smiled and turned to the crowd one last time.
Shogun: "Now that I have that old grudge lifted from my shoulders I can show you all what you missed while I was off in Japan. C4, you think you're going to use me as stepping stone to further your career at the last show ULOL will ever have. However you will soon learn just how dangerous it is to step into this ring with me while looking into the future instead of in the present."
With that, Shogun dropped the mic and did his best to sort of one up Raven's back flip by doing and handstand on his way off of the apron, sending the crowd into another chanting frenzy when he left. | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Lucha Loco Reunion Show 07/31/2014 Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:43 am | |
| Ray Kamaura, Yuki Monotomo, and Leon Hinomoto are all standing outside the DWMA locker room door. The sign that reads "DWMA, No Losers Allowed!" is hanging crooked the door itself looks beaten.
Ray Kamaura: "Did we ever clean this thing before we left?"
Leon Hinomoto: "No."
Yuki Monotomo: "I was with a girl that night. And the next night. And the next-"
Ray Kamaura: "Yuki, we get the point, you have a lot of sex. So what do you guys think is in there?"
Leon Hinomoto: "Old minifridge full of expired sandwiches and some dust."
Yuki Monotomo: "Homeless guys camping around a barrel, using our benches as beds."
Ray Kamaura: "I'm liking this idea less and less as you guys talk. However, we at the DWMA must enter this room! Our pride is still in there."
Yuki Monotomo: "Actually my pride is fine."
Ray Kamaura: "It's a figure of speech."
Leon Hinomoto: "Well we won't know what's in there unless we open the door."
Ray Kamaura: "Open the very beaten door."
Yuki Monotomo: "The beaten door that looks like we've been gone two decades and not two years."
Both men shoot a glare at Yuki.
Yuki Monotomo: "Just saying. That door should look a lot better than it does."
Ray Kamaura: "Hey, that's not our fault."
Leon Hinomoto: "Ray, did you come in here a couple days ago and dent this door for dramatic effect?"
Ray Kamaura: "Listen, I'm not on trial here. Let's just see what's inside."
Leon Hinomoto: "Did you also dust the room off to make the transition look more dramatic for the cameraman that you brought with us?"
Leon points to the lens before Ray speaks again.
Ray Kamaura: "Come on guys, let's just go inside. I may have dented the door slightly, but I didn't enter the room."
Yuki Monotomo: "Do you guys hear that?"
Ray Kamaura: "Hear what?"
Yuki Monotomo: "On the other side of the door, listen."
The three men put their ears to the door. When they pull their heads away from the door, they have confused looks.
Leon Hinomoto: "Was something... dripping in there?"
Yuki Monotomo: "So I'm not crazy and my hobo idea is seeming more and more logical."
Ray grips the door handle, turning to his teammates. He nods to both of them before flinging the door open, revealing that the ceiling has caved in, the floor is now a large puddle, and that the pipes have fallen onto their table in the center of the room.
Yuki Monotomo: "We never got that leak fixed, did we?"
Leon Hinomoto: "I filled out the paperwork. Since Ray is head of the stable, he was the one who was supposed to submit it to the office."
Ray Kamaura: "Like I said, not on trial here."
Leon opens Ray's locker door and pulls out the paperwork from two years ago, stuffed into the side next to a water bottle.
Ray Kamaura: "N-not on trial?"Ray smiled with innocence, and a touch of heavy guilt. He placed his stolen Camera on the one table that was still stable in the run down locker room.
Ray Kamaura: "I can't believe the feed is on again. Our room is on the Jumbo Tron!"
Leon Hinomoto: "I have an idea."
Leon walks over to the camera man that was filming the trio entering the room and took his camera. He was promptly fired as well. Leon walked over to the other camera and started positioning them together, lens facing each other.
Leon Hinomoto: "Show us your secrets."
Leon fit the them together. Suddenly the Jumbo Tron started displaying strange colors and a faint song could be heard. Did they just find god? Probably.
Ray Kamaura: "Stop it."
Ray pulled away his camera just as a face began to form on the screen.
Ray Kamaura: "You are playing with dark Powerful Magic!"
Out of the blue Yuki let out a ear shattering scream. He was panicked and frantically running around. Ray and Leon freaked out as well. Yuki eventually rushed the other two out of the room. He slammed the door and began nailing it shut.
Yuki Monotomo: "Do you remember the girl I use to having following me around?"
Ray Kamaura & Leon Hinomoto: "Cam?"
Yuki: Yeah... Apparently we forgot to feed her...
Ray and Leon just stood in complete terror, staring at Yuki, who was still nailing up the door.
Ray Kamaura: "If we killed her... Why are we not just running... Why nail up the door?"
Yuki Monotomo: "Who said she died?"
Ray's camera was still in the room. Out of the corner of screen you could see a figure getting closer and closer. It was Cam. She then picked up the camera and began laughing. All she did was laugh. The camera's video faded. The last image was her mouth chewing on the lens. The audio could sit be heard. She ate the camera. The sun beams fall upon a broken down ULOL building, succeeding in their attempts of making their way through it and reaching it's interiors. The walls that once stood tall and strong are now incapable of stopping light in it's path, as they now are covered in holes and cracks.
Right outside of it lays it's nearly abandoned parking lot. For many years it had been empty, however today, there actually were a few cars parked near the entrance of the building. And not just any old car, even a limousine could be spotted.
A flash of green light briefly painted the scene. The wrestler known as Meteoro materialised on the ground close to the main entrance. He was crouching, covering his head with his hands as if expecting some terrible natural disaster to pass. He was wearing his old wrestling clothes, back from the very old times of ULOL, but they were ragged and had lost most of their color. After a while of being in this position, he looked up. Noticing he was now in a safe place he stood up, checked if all his body parts were still there, and then examined the place where he was standing.
He thought to himself.Meteoro: "Oh damn. What the hell happened here? I can't possibly have moved so much into the future, this cannot be right."Meteoro glanced at his wrist where he wore his small time machine. It appeared to be turned off, and it didn't respond to any commands. Meteoro: "Now this shit isn't working anymore. But if it's power ran out, then I can't possibly be too far from where I started. I better find out which year this is."He then walked into the old ruined building that had pretty much been his home several years ago. But to him, it had been his home yesterdayThe scene opens to show the hallways of the United League of Lunatics, restored to their full glory. They were built strong to boot, their integrity tested by the minor earthquake caused by a morbidly obese wrestler as he walked down the halls.
???: "Fat man, stop for a minute!"
The Morbidly Obese Man stops, and turns around, seeing the same as the camera; Andrew Hunter hurrying as fast as he can to catch up to the gargantuan of corpulence.
Andrew Hunter: "How can someone so large be so fast?... ... Perfect, I've finally found you!"
Andrew pulls reaches into his tattered brown jacket and pulls out a deck of cards, bound together with a rubber band.
Andrew Hunter: "I've heard you have incredible skills, the likes of which I need to see to believe. So, shall we play a game of 52 card pick up?"
Hunter removes the rubber band and tosses the deck of cards into the air. TMOM glances to the floor after all the cards had landed. He then proceeds the stop the ground once, causing the hallways to shake even more and all 52 cards to bounce back in the air and land back together as a perfect deck. TMOM takes one look at Hunter's astonished face and lets out a chuckle.
Andrew Hunter: "Unbelievable... It's like... Like..."
The Morbidly Obese Man starts walking away, causing all the cards to fall once again to the ground, scattered randomly.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Your turn! Enjoy the works of my love handles!"
Andrew Hunter: "... Like he has complete and total control of every single fat cell in his body... I just don't understand..."
Hunter lets out a sigh and begins his round of 52 card pickup, and the scene fades out.Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to the middle of the ring and brings the mic up to her lips.
Boy Bakla: "Thank you for the warm welcome my luvlies."
The transgender wrestler looks around the crowd.
Boy Bakla: "And thank you all for being here tonight!"
The crowd goes wild, specially the section housing the LGBT fans.
Boy Bakla: "It has been a long time since I have graced the ring with by fabulous presence. As you all know I have made myself into one of the richest bitches in the whole world but something has always been missing. There is a thing that even money couldn't do to fill the hole left in my heart by ULOL."
Bakla takes a long deep...
...sigh.
Boy Bakla: "But tonight! Yes tonight! That hole shall be filled when I face one of the best here in ULOL, Raven Connoly! Raven! We may have had our little skirmishes in the past, we may not have liked each other, but I know we respected each others' skills in the ring. And tonight it will be my honor to face you again. Let the best bitch win!"
Bakla pauses before continuing, letting the crowd cheer their hearts out...
Boy Bakla: "Now next, I shall address Richard "The Dragon" Johnson! That hunk of man candy... RAWR! Now we've battled each other not only here in this federation but also in the past, and our matches have always been epic. And as much as I salivate over your delicious bod, I am sorry to say but this night belongs to us girls here! But don't worry luv, being a third wheel can actually be fun."
Bakla then winks before exiting the ring as her music starts to play again.Raven walks down a long hall way of the arena carrying a black sports bag. She comes up to the door of Marcus Troys office. She takes a deep breath and knocks on the door and waits for a moment. There is no answer so Raven turns the handle and the door swings open. Raven steps into the office to find Troy sitting at his desk on the phone. Raven freezes in her tracks as she see's Troy sitting there.
Raven Connoly: "OH, uhm, I'm sorry." She whispers. "No one answered so I thought you weren't in here. I just wanted to drop..., I needed to talk..., you're clearly busy, I'll just go, I'm sorry to disturb you."Marcus Troy: "Wait!"
Marcus Troy leapt out of his seat as he got Raven's attention.
Marcus Troy: "Raven! I mean Ms. Connoly, we have much to discuss, much to clear up. Please take a seat."
Marcus Troy gestures to the empty seat across his table.
Marcus Troy: "I know that the way things ended last wasn't exactly... Well you see, I also would like to talk to you and this may be the last time we get to do so. Let us bring closure to this once and for all Ms. Connoly."Raven pauses for a moment and the sits down in the empty chair. She lays the bag down on the floor next to her.
Raven Connoly: "Well, I'm not really sure what to say Troy. The main reason I came back was to make amends to all the people I hurt and screwed over before this place went under. I have come to realize over these past few years you may be very close to the top of that list."
Raven shifts uncomfortably in her seat as she continues.
Raven Connoly: "I used you to get what I wanted, just like I used everyone else here. That, I'm sure became very clear to you when I just up and left after this place went other. As awful of a person that you were, I know you truly did have feelings for me, and I used that to my advantage and ended up hurting you in the process. Now, some would say after all the hell you put me through for the years before warranted that. I don't believe that, two wrongs don't make a right, and you are just a much a human as everyone else. What I did to you was hurtful and wrong, and I'm deeply sorry for it. I feel like I've been saying that a lot, and it might be loosing all meaning by now, but I do mean it."
Raven reaches down and grabs the bag and places it in her lap.
Raven Connoly: "Now, that isn't the only reason I came to see you."
Raven opens the bag and pulls out the ULOL Primo Ultimo Championship and the ULOL Campeón no Masculino Championship and lays them on Troy's desk.
Raven Connoly: "These, I need to give these back. I never won either I've these, and I don't deserve them. I've kept them all these years, hoping there would come a time where I could right this wrong as well. What you decide to do with them is up to you, but I can't keep them."
Raven zips the bag back up and looks at Troy.
Raven Connoly: "You said you had some things you wanted to discuss with me as well, correct?"Marcus Troy's hands tremble as he accepted the belts. It would seem that his eyes started to water but he held back his tears.
Marcus Troy: "Thank you Ms. Connoly... This... Thank you."
The general manager of ULOL quickly composes himself before looking into Raven's eyes and saying his piece.
Marcus Troy: "Yes Ms. Connoly... I do want to put some closure to whatever happened between us. I would like to apologize to you for what transpired between us. I used you to further my own goals back then, and when I was done with you... I discarded you. I have no excuses for what I did back then and I do not offer any now. I don't know if you believe me but for my transgressions, I am truly sorry. This probably will be the final night we see each other, I do hope we can bury and forget the past." | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Lucha Loco Reunion Show 07/31/2014 Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:45 am | |
|  VS  VS Jim Jackson: "Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, we shall now proceed to our next match, this time it's a triple threat falls count anywhere surprise match between Boy Bakla, Raven Connoly and Richard "The Dragon" Johnson! Why is it called a surprised match you say?"
Brad Blood: "Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know! Because hidden and littered outside the ring are booby traps! That's right peeps, pressure sensitive plates which activates "special surprises" are randomly placed outside the ring, though they can use anywhere as a battleground, I think it's probably best they stay inside the ring for safety."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a Triple Threat Falls Count Anywhere Surprise Match! Introducing first, hailing from the Philippines, Boy Bakla!"
Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to it's corner waiting for the match to begin.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, hailing from Chicago, Illinois... Raven Connoly!"
'Map Of The Problematique' by Muse starts playing throughout the arena, suddenly a wall of flames shoot up across the stage floor, after a few moments Raven Connoly emerges through the flames. She has on black spandex pants, a red and black corset, a black cane with a silver dragon design handle resting on her shoulder, and a long black coat that splits at her waist, once in the middle of her back, and on both sides, forming four tails that dance behind her as she approaches the ring.
Jasmine Lee: "And introducing last, he is the one, the only, Richard "The Dragon" Johnson!"
The sound of burning fire and a reptilian roar erupts through the speakers. Flames dances on the screen as the pyro burns off the entranceway. A large red dragon comes into view on the Jumbotron and smashes through the screen, breaking them and comes towards the viewer. A fireball is born out of the mouth of the dragon and instantly a fireball and cherry bomb explode on the ramp, to the delight of the crowd. When everyone's vision clears for the flash and their hearing returns, the dragon is replaced on the screen with the words burning in fire Richard "The Dragon" Johnson!
"Hot Love" by Twisted Sister spouts out of the entrance area in-between the columns of pulsating pillars of flame popping up along the entrance ramp. A blinding white light shoots out and standing in silhouette is the dark image of a tall man. Walking forward out of the light, wearing a cobalt blue silk dobak with a silver twisting dragon from front to back, comes 'The dragon' Richard Johnson. His black trunks show a large dragonhead on the front of his crotch. The Dragon is shielding himself from his magnificence with a pair of mirrored navigator sunglasses. After pausing for dramatic effect and signaling to the crowd, the The Dragon makes his way to the ring.
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this bout is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
DING!
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Raven Connoly and Boy Bakla both go after Richard "The Dragon" Johnson from the start! Clearly Connoly and Bakla think that he's the bigger threat! The Dragon is getting pummeled by slaps from Bakla and punches from Connoly! He's being forced into the corner! Ooooooh! Big knee to the liver connects and Johnson goes down! Boy Bakla feels Johnson up before hitting a snapmare."
Brad Blood: "Raven just decked the fruitcake! Oh man! Bakla didn't know what hit him... er... her... er... it! Raven goes for Bakla's leg... She's going for a figure four leglock! Bakla flips over! It's now a reverse figure four in favor of the fairy! Uh-oh... Here comes Dick "The Dragon" Penis with a legdrop... OOOOOOOH! Right on the back of Raven's head!"
Jim Jackson: "It's now a grappling match between Boy Bakla and Richard "The Dragon" Johnson! Bakla goes for a wristlock... The Dragon twists free and answers with a headlock! Bakla shoves herself free sending The Dragon to the ropes! Bakla charges in... The Dragon pulls the top rope down and Bakla goes flying over the top rope! Bakla lands outside!"
SPROING!!!
Brad Blood: "WHOA! THE FAIRY IS FLYING! BAKLA GETS CATAPULTED OVER THE BARRICADES AND INTO THE CROWD! That lucky sonnuvahermaprodite, Bakla landed the LGBT community and they braced it's fall! Raven with a forearm to the back of The Dragon's knee while he's distracted by Bakla's fate! Ankle lock by Raven!"
Jim Jackson: "Richard "The Dragon" Johnson grabs hold of the ropes! The ref breaks the hold! Johnson keeps Connoly at bay with a series of jabs. Raven Connoly catches his arm and goes for a key lock! The Dragon flips over and sends Connoly to the ropes with an Irish whip! Connoly dodges the clothesline attempt and bounces back from the opposite ropes... Flying forearm connects! Connoly goes for the leg... Argentine leg lock! The Dragon screams in pain as he tries to reach for the ropes!"
Brad Blood: "Oh look! The queer just made its way over the barricades! AND IT STEPS ON ANOTHER TRAP!"
PWOOF!
Brad Blood: "Hihihi! Bakla is now covered in flour! Bakla leaps to the apron. Slingshot over the top rope! Double leg drop on both Raven and The Dragon! The tranny grabs Raven... IT CHUCKS HER OVER THE TOP ROPE!"
Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly clings on and lands on the apron! Richard "The Dragon" Johnson charges towards Boy Bakla... Bakla sidesteps and Johnson hits Connoly instead sending her flying outside! The crowd waits to see if anything will happen..."
Brad Blood: "What?! Nothing?! She must have landed on a dud!"
SPLOOSH!
Brad Blood: "Looks like I spoke to soon! Raven just got splashed by a ton of animal blood and entrails! EWWWWWWWWW! Raven clearly isn't happy about this development... She leaps to the apron avoiding other potential traps... The fruitcake has Johnson by the neck and it throws The Dragon over the top rope as Raven pulls it down to give The Dragon more clearance!"
THWUP!
Jim Jackson: "It's a trap door! Richard "The Dragon" Johnson landed on a trap door and just fell inside! Wait! Johnson's fingers managed to grab on to the ledge! He tries to pull himself up while Boy Bakla and Raven Connoly continue to duke it out by the ring apron. Big uppercut by Connoly stuns Bakla! Raven Connoly grabs Boy Bakla and pulls her over to the ring apron!"
Brad Blood: "Raven tries to throw the man-thing off the apron... NO! Bakla blocks the attempt! Kick to the gut makes Raven bend over... Bakla going for a head scissor... Raven spins away! Bakla misses and slips! Bakla is off balance... RAVEN BLOWS IT A KISS AND SHOVES BAKLA OUTSIDE!"
Jim Jackson: "Richard "The Dragon" Johnson just climbed out of the pit and Boy Bakla comes flying towards him! Bodies clash! Both wrestlers reel towards the pit again! Raven from the ring apron... Double dropkick connects! JOHNSON AND BAKLA FALLS INTO THE HOLE! Wait! Johnson again manages to grab hold of the ledge! Bakla manages to grab hold of The Dragon's pants!"
Brad Blood: "Well Raven landed on another trap and is pricked with a needle of what looks like muscle relaxant as she is now on her knees and trying to make her legs move. Bakla looks like it's climbing over The Dragon who now has half his butt exposed! Big elbow by The Dragon and Bakla loses its hold and falls to the water down below!"
Jim Jackson: "Richard "The Dragon" Johnson pulls himself up and also his pants. He looks at Raven Connoly who is still helpless as her leg muscles are still unresponsive. He may have this in the bag! He takes a step forward..."
KZAAAT!
Brad Blood: "OOOOOH! Dragon here just got stunned by electricity! He goes down shaking! Raven is now talking to herself trying to get her leg to move!"
]Raven Connoly: "Wiggle your big toe. Wiggle your big toe. WIGGLE YOUR BIG TOE!"
Brad Blood: "A smile creeps on Raven's lips! I think the effects of the muscle relaxant is wearing off! Raven forces herself to stand... SHE MAKES IT! She drags herself to The Dragon without incident and pulls herself over him!"
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Thr..."
Jim Jackson: "Richard "The Dragon" Johnson gets a shoulder up! He still manages to get a shoulder up! Raven Connoly tries to pull The Dragon up who is still more or less dead weight after being stunned! Boy Bakla finally climbs out of the pit! With two opponents that are almost helpless, Bakla could take advantage and win this match! Bakla cautiously take a step forward..."
SWISH!!!
Brad Blood: "OOH! A large pendulum almost slices the fruitcake in half but Bakla leaps away to another area..."
BLORTCH!!!
Brad Blood: "AHAHAHAHAHA! BAKLA JUST GOT TARED! IT FLAILS WILDLY ABOUT AND TAKES A STEP FORWARD BLINDLY!"
FWOOPH!!!!
Brad Blood: "NOW IT GETS FEATHERED! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly seems like she has regained full faculties of her legs! Suplex on Richard "The Dragon" Johnson on the outside! The Dragon lands on a fake floor which contains tacks! Oooh! Johnson's back just became a pin cushion! Connoly leaps up again to the ring apron just as Boy Bakla also makes it there. Big punt to Bakla's head sends her reeling!"
Brad Blood: "Whoa! Bakla manages to stop itself from taking a step back. We don't know what trap it may trigger! Bakla leaps to the apron! Raven throws a punch but Bakla dodges in and leaps through the ropes back into the safety of the ring! Raven enters the ring and both wrestlers start to grapple!"
Jim Jackson: "Richard "The Dragon" Johnson just plucked the last tack off his back. He is not happy. He leaps on the barricades... Amazing balance! The Dragon just rushed on top of the steel railings and leaps towards the steel steps! BUT THE STEEL STEPS IS ALSO BOOBY TRAPPED! It's a snare trap and the rope catches The Dragon on the leg and strings him upside down!"
Brad Blood: "Raven has Bakla on a rear naked choke! Bakla reaches out and manages to grab on to the bottom rope! The referee breaks them apart. Bakla with a big high kick from out of nowhere catches Raven on the chin! Scoop slam on Raven! Bakla goes for an armbar.... Raven pulls out and counters with a crossface!"
Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla manages to break free before Raven Connoly can lock in the submission! Bakla goes for Connoly's legs... Boston crab! NO! Connoly counters and rolls Bakla up!"
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Only a two count! The tranny manages to kick out! Oh look! The Dragon manages to loosen the ropes around his legs and he's now free! Big clothesline from The Dragon takes Raven out! A spinning backfist connects to Bakla's jaw! Suplex from The Dragon sends Raven to the mat! Bakla staggers to get up... Bicycle kick sends it back down to the canvas! Looks like The Dragon has got his mojo back!"
Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly staggers to her feet. Belly to back suplex by Richard "The Dragon" Johnson sends her back down to the canvas! Bakla throws a wild kick, The Dragon grabs Bakla from behind and hits a northern lights suplex pin!"
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Oh! Raven with an axe kick to The Dragons ribs breaks the three count! Irish whip by Raven sends The Dragon to the ropes! The Dragon counters a back body drop by a knee to the head! Bakla hits a big forearm to The Dragon's back! OOH! Double knee backbreaker!" Bakla goes for the cover!
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly with an elbow drop breaks the three count! Camel clutch by Connoly on Boy Bakla! Bakla screams in pain. Richard "The Dragon" Johnson grabs Raven Connoly by the head... Reverse DDT! Bakla rises to her feet... Spinning side kick to the ribs sends Bakla flying to the corner! Johnson charges... Stinger splash connects! Bakla gets flattened in the corner! Johnson picks Raven up... Irish whip into Bakla! OOH! Bakla gets flattened again! The Dragon charges again... Another stinger splash connects! The Dragon just sandwiched both Connoly and Bakla!"
Brad Blood: "Ooh! A threesome sandwich! The Dragon drags Raven to the middle of the ring... He's signalling for his finisher Riding the Cloud! It's been a while since we've seen this! He goes down to grab Raven's head... RAVEN CATCHES HIS ARM AND LOCKS IN A TRIANGLE CHOKE HOLD!"
Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly catches Richard "The Dragon" Johnson off guard and now the tables have turned! Will Connoly submit The Dragon?! No! Boy Bakla on the top turnbuckle! Flying headbutt! Raven clutches her head in pain! Bakla is staggering around also suffering some damage!"
Brad Blood: "The Dragon with a side suplex sends Bakla to the canvas! Raven is picked up... Suplex attempt... No! Raven slips free to The Dragon's back! The Dragon turns around... Kick to the gut followed by a snap suplex sends The Dragon down!"
Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla unsteadily rises back to her feet. DDT by Raven Connoly drills her head to the canvas! Richard "The Dragon" Johnson is up and charges towards Raven Connoly... She spins away and throws him over the top rope!"
TWANG!!!! THUP! THUP! THUP!
Brad Blood: "Whoa! Fast reflexes from Johnson saved him from some arrows! Bakla gets slammed by Raven! Bakla slowly rises back up to its feet. Raven bounces off the ropes and runs towards Bakla lifts her leg and kicks Bakla in the jaw with the heel of her shoes! RAVEN HITS HER FINISHER BLOODY SUNDAY!"
Jim Jackson: "But Boy Bakla falls backwards and over the top rope landing outside! This time Bakla gets lucky and doesn't trigger any trap! Richard "The Dragon" Johnson grabs Bakla... Irish whip by The Dragon sends Bakla up the ramp!"
TWANG! THWIP! THUP! FWOOSH! PEW PEW PEW! THUNK! BONG! TOINK!
Brad Blood: "Whoa! Bakla just triggered a plethora of traps running up the ramp all missing it by just a hair before skidding to a stop on top! It also clears the way for The Dragon now that all those traps have been sprung! Bakla sprung darts, a spear, a flame thrower, lasers, a kitchen sink, a gong and a rubber ducky!"
Jim Jackson: "In a genius move Richard "The Dragon" Johnson has increased the safety zone of their battlefield! Raven Connoly exits the ring and follows the same route as all three wrestlers are now fighting on top of the entrance ramp!"
Brad Blood: "The question now is how far or extensive are the traps? Are there still traps further on? Lariat by The Dragon sends Bakla down! Raven with a neckbreaker on The Dragon on top of the entrance ramp!"
Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla staggers up and exits through the tunnel! Raven Connoly follows her! Connoly catches up to Bakla who tries to break free by throwing an elbow! Connoly dodges and Irish whips Bakla into some equipment backstage!"
Brad Blood: "The Dragon follows the two wrestlers backstage! HE TRIGGERS A TRAP! THERE ARE STILL TRAPS BACKSTAGE! A giant anaconda falls from the ceiling on The Dragon! The Dragon struggles as the snake tries to coil around him!"
Jim Jackson: "The anaconda is the most dangerous constrictors out there! As Richard "The Dragon" Johnson fights off the snake, Raven Connoly and Boy Bakla have battled towards the toilets! Irish whip by Connoly sends Bakla hurtling towards the tiled wall!"
SPLOOOSH!
Brad Blood: "OHMYGAWD EWWW! Bakla triggers a trap and is now covered in fecal matter! Talk about toilet humor! Bakla gags and passes out! This is Raven's chance to pin it but she is not gonna touch Bakla with a ten foot pole now!"
Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly's only option to win is to go after Richard "The Dragon" Johnson now! Johnson manages to wrest free from the snake! Connoly attacks! Johnson and Connoly start brawling! Richard "The Dragon" Johnson just broke the vending machine by slamming Connoly's head into it! Connoly is reeling!"
Brad Blood: "The Dragon grabs Raven but Raven breaks free and staggers away! The Dragon chases after her! Raven goes through the corridor with The Dragon close behind!"
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
Jim Jackson: "Whoa! Fast reflexes just saved both wrestlers from being sliced by a buzzsaw! Raven Connoly pushes the doors leading to the parking lot open!
Brad Blood: "The Dragon follows closely behind! Hammer fist by The Dragon on Raven's back sends her into the hood of the car! The Dragon leaps to the top of the hood... He picks Raven up!"
Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly with hard elbows to the side of The Dragon's head makes him loose his grip! WAIT BAKLA STAGGERS OUT TO THE PARKING LOT! IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE HOSED BAKLA DOWN WITH A FIRE HOSE! Boy Bakla rushes towards the carnage! It leaps towards the hood of the car and rains chops on both Raven Connoly and Richard "The Dragon" Johnson! Connoly loses balance and falls off the car!"
Brad Blood: "Bakla knees The Dragon and lifts him up upside down... BRAINBUSTER ON THE HOOD OF THE CAR! Bakla may win this! Boy Bakla mounts on top of it's opponent and starts slapping away hard with a series of slaps until it's opponent is gets knocked out from the force of the slaps executing a vicious Bitch Slap Symphony! Bakla hits its finisher! It's ove..."
Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly leaps back to the top of the hood and superkicks Bakla to oblivion! Boy Bakla falls off the car! Raven Connoly hooks Ricahrd "The Dragon" Johnson's leg!"
Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"
Brad Blood: "WE HAVE A WINNER!"
DING! DING! DING!
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall... RAVEN CONNOLY!"
Jim Jackson: "What a brutal brutal match! Anytime, this match could have ended up in disaster but thank god everyone survived!
Brad Blood: "Survived, yes they did but the damages inflicted here tonight may stay with them for the rest of their lives. One thing is certain though, this match was epic and it will go down as one of the best matches in ULOL history!"An unmarked tombstone, half crumbled and ironically for it's job seemingly half dead. A sign for what true evil lies beneath. A half dead monster. In the bright of the day this particular cemetery always seems to have a massive shadow over it. The grass withering and gasping for the light. The earth in front of the tombstone bulges. And bulges again. Suddenly a massive, decaying hand bursts through the soil. A muffling and annoyed voice can be heard from below. Another hand punches its way to the surface and the being gets the leverage it needs to pull the rest of its decaying muscular body out of the earths core. Leaving a massive hole leading what can only be described as Hell. The undead monster calls down to someone still down in the hole of the earth.
Zombie: "Oh hell no! You can stay down there you old hag! I ain't staying there while you reside over that place!"
Zombie gets to his feet, dusts himself off and stretches with a series of stomach churning cracks.
Zombie: "Old woman must've finally died... Although.. she probably willingly died just so she could take over the one place she hadn't yet. Satan... you poor bastard...!"
He pauses for a moment with a sympathetic look on his face and shakes his head.
Zombie: "Oh well! Back to whatever's left of the old grind then I guess!"
Zombie walks away and the grass instantly perks up as the darkness leaves along with the undead monster, stomping its way out of the cemetery. Leon Hinomoto walks into the famous Bar, set up by the Legendary drunkard Allister King, The place was completely empty.
Leon Hinomoto: "Ah yes. The refreshment center. I could fancy a bit of tea."
Leon made his way to the bar, past all the empty broken chairs and tables. The place was a complete mess. It missed the homey feeling it once held.
Leon Hinomoto: "Hmmm. No barten..."
Leon was cut of by the sound of loud, Irish, snoring. Leon investigated to see and man, who strongly resembled the once Legendary Drunkard Allister King, snoring away. The completely unrecognizable figure was surrounded by empty bottles of every sort, even a few pepto bottles.
Leon Hinomoto: "Oh my lord... How could this happen to this completely strange ma... "
Leon stopped talking all together. A look of disgust crossed his face. The camera pans down to shows a stream of yellow liquid running down Leon's boot.
Leon Hinomoto: "He pee'd on me... HE PEE'D ON ME!"
90% definitely not Allister King: "Hey! Are you gonna Drink that?"
Leon's jaw dropped and he stood confounded by the question he was just asked? Did he mean the Pee, or what?
Leon Hinomoto: "Do you mean the pee... or what?"
81% definitely not Allister King seemed to get offended. He stood up until he promptly feel down again and knocked his head. He was out cold. Ray walked in at that exact second with his stole camera, Which was once again broadcasting on the Jumbo Tron.
Ray Kamaura: "Did you just beat up that complete stranger? That's harsh dude."
Leon slowly turned to Ray with a semi scared look on his face.
Leon Hinomoto: "Do you have any boots I can borrow?"
Ray nodded as the scene faded to black. A low mumbling could be heard still.
50% definitely not Allister King: "Potato... Famine... Money... Potato..."The stagehands and production crew quickly go about their business, making sure everything is perfect for the ULOL Lucha Loco Reunion show. Everyone is busy, too busy to notice the lone figure contemplating in the shadows.
Brooding alone, Colton Charles Cai Cobb was thinking on what he will do once he finds Marcus Troy. He has an axe to grind with Troy that is why he signed up for the reunion show. Yet due to the hectic schedule of putting up the show he has yet to catch a glimpse of the General Manager of United League of Lunatics...
Until now...
He leapt out from the shadows and in one swift motion grabs hold of his prey startling the stagehands. Slamming Troy to the wall, his forearm against the man's throat, C4 explodes in rage. Marcus Troy chokes and gags until C4 loosens his forearm a little, enough for Troy to breathe again but still trapped against the wall.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb wanted to see the eyes of the man who screwed him. He wanted to see fear in Troy's eyes before he pummels him into a coma but what he saw wasn't fear. He saw the eyes of someone who expected what was coming and accepted his fate.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "You do not know how long I've waited for this Troy. Maybe I was partly to blame for trusting you, but I was foolish and greedy, just as you were."
Rage still pumped through the veins of The Charismatic Crippler, but he knew that the moment he is waiting for, the moment where Marcus Troy begs for his life will not happen now.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "You betrayed me Troy. We had a deal. You represent me in the biggest pit fighting arena, I shall keep on winning building up a reputation, then we wait for the perfect moment when you shall bet against me and I take a dive. It would have been a pay-out that will make us rich beyond our dreams... But that didn't happen... YOU FUCKIN' SOLD ME OUT!"
Again C4 applied pressure on his forearm, this time despite his limited airflow, Marcus Troy held C4's gaze.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "What you didn't expect was that I was able fight back. Yes, I fought back hard and I was even able to grab control of The Pit, but you already ran away. So Troy? Any last words before I permanently rearrange your biology?"
C4 clenches his fist ready to drive it into Marcus Troy's skull...Marcus Troy looks into the eyes of Colton Charles Cai Cobb, another one of his sins have come back to haunt him. God knows he deserved what was coming to him, and he fully accept it with open arms but now is not the time, so Troy does what he does best, let his silver tongue work it's magic.
Marcus Troy: "There were circumstances beyond my control Mr. Cobb, our plan that time was a good one but I do not know how they found out. With a gun to my head, I could only acquiesce to their demands. I did not have the chance to warn you, and believe me I would have if I did. Yet, look at the way things turned out Mr. Cobb. You not only survived their attempt at your life, but you also defeated them and wrest control of The Pit from them. Now you own and run the biggest and most profitable underground pit fighting arena this side of the hemisphere."
Marcus Troy felt C4's grasp loosen some more.
Marcus Troy: "Listen Mr. Cobb, I am not asking for forgiveness, I have no right to do so. All I ask is that you let me see this show through. And after the show, if you still want my head, you are free to take it."Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "If history was an example, I should not trust you again Troy. But looking at your eyes, I know that I can expect you to be waiting for me once this night is over."
It is clear that The Charismatic Crippler has cooled down and rational thought has once again entered his mind.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Yes, I am now rich beyond my wildest dreams but I cannot say that the road has been an easy one. It certainly also did take a toll on my body. I've probably got a few good fights in me left Troy, why not let one of those be here in ULOL where my legend was born? So... Shogun huh? Well I have to hand it to you, you did not make this easy for me... But that is how I like it."
Colton Charles Cai Cobb finally lets go of Marcus Troy completely.
Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Ah fuck it. I'll see you in your old office once this night is over Troy. We have gone a long way you and I, and by tonight's end, it's time for our journey to come full circle."
C4 walks off leaving Marcus Troy as the scene fades to black.Meteoro walks along the hallways of the old ULOL locker room area. Just a while ago he visited the stage, taking a seat in highest point, the furthest away from the ring. He watched as other old members of the organisation, some of which he didn't even know, met again after years and decided to put together a reunion show.
He was beggining to understand what had happened. He had gone 4 years into the future, time which had been enough to see the downfall of ULOL.
But he just happened to comeback near the date of this reunion happening. Odd to him for sure, as yesterday he was an ULOL wrestler, and today he could participate in a show meant to remember those days.
He thought to himself as he looked at his now useless time machine that was wrapped around his left wrist.Meteoro: "It looks like I screwed up pretty badly. Now I'm stuck in this time and ULOL is gone. I am gone too. Nobody remembers me for sure."He kept walking until he found his old locker room. It was probably utilized by somebody else after he "dissapeared". But right now it was empty, full of dust and spider webs.
He stepped inside, took off the gadget on his wrist and put it inside one of the lockers. There was no lock on it but he didn't think that anybody was gonna go looking inside of that particular locker.
Meteoro thought about the reunion show. Technically he was an old uLOL wrestler. So it would make sense for him to be in it, but surely since he was gone for 4 years, he was unreachable.Meteoro: "I'm a wrestler, that's what I do. I can not not be in this show. I'm gonna go find who's in charge. If there is gonna be a show to commemorate the old days of ULOL, Meteoro can't be absent from it."He left the locker room area hoping the find the men that he had just seen discussing the future of the federation a while ago at the ring. | |
| | | | The Morbidly Obese Man
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| | Subject: Re: Lucha Loco Reunion Show 07/31/2014 Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:49 am | |
|  VS  Jim Jackson: "If you all think the last match was brutal, the next match has the potential to even surpass it! That's right, two wrestlers with extensive careers of leaving behind broken bodies shall go at it tonight in a barbed wire cage! Colton Charles Cai Cobb and Shogun shall step into a brutal cage made of barbed wire and only one shall step out! "
Brad Blood: "Ooh! This is gonna be good, the skill of these two wrestlers is considered by majority as the pinnacle of the wrestling world. I myself am salivating at the carnage that will definitely be present in this match! So what are we waiting for! Take it away Jasmine!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Barbed Wire Cage Match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, hailing from Boston, Massachusetts... Colton Charles Cai Cobb!"
Green Day's "Having a Blast" starts blaring out of the speakers as the silhouette of the penultimate wrestler, covered in smoke and with a light show on, Colton Charles Cai Cobb raises from the ground with his back facing the crowd. He turns around as he steps off the platform and into the entrance ramp with a smirk on his face and an air of arrogance as he makes his way to the ring ignoring the loud boos which echo the ringside. He enters the ring, flexes and stretches waiting for the match to begin.
Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for tonight, Shogun!"
"Hybird Stigmata-the Apostasy" by Dimmu Borgir hits the speakers suddenly as the lights in the arena begin flashing on and off. As soon as the first lyric is screamed Shogun bursts out from the hind the curtain to the roar of cheers mixed in with boos. The wrestler has the same golden belt around his waist. When he makes it down the ramp Shogun quickly rolls into the ring and faces his opponent.
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
DING!
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Inside the barbed wire cage are two wrestlers with one and only one thing in their minds, the destruction of the other! The lock arms! It's a test of strength! It all looks pretty even... Wait! Colton Charles Cai Cobb is pushing Shogun back! Shogun throws a kick, C4 quickly releases and blocks it! Big swing by C4 but Shogun manages to get his arm up and block it! Shogun shoots for the legs! Cobb stops it with a sprawl! Both wrestlers are technical maestros, so this match will be like a game of chess."
Brad Blood: "GIVE US BLOOD! C'MON YOU TWO! SHOW US SOME ACTION! Oh! Big right by Shogun passes Colton's guard! Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Shogun goes for a chin lock! NO! C4 counters it and sends Shogun to the mat with an arm drag! Shogun quickly gets back to his feet! C4 lunges forward... Shogun intercepts him with a knee to the face!"
Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb staggers to the ropes. Shogun moves int forward... C4 throws a big right, he misses! Shogun attacks with a series of chops as the crowd chants "WOOOOOOOOOOOO!" C4's chest is lit up like the fourth of July! Cobb blocks Shogun's chop and counters with an uppercut! He picks Shogun up... Body slam! Shogun gets back to his feet. A punch to the gut stuns him! C4 picks him up... Gorilla press slam! Cobb hooks the leg!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Tw..."
Brad Blood: "It's too early for that! Colton grabs Shogun by the neck... He charges forward and attempts throws Shogun over the top rope and into the barbed wire cage! Shogun puts on the brakes and counters with vicious elbows! Shogun picks Colton up... Fallaway slam! Shogun grabs C4's legs... He's going for a cross kneelock!"
Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb kicks free! Shogun with a standing clothesline misses as C4 ducks under it! Full Nelson slam by C4! C4 goes for a chicken wing... Shogun slips free and counters with a Fujiwara armbar! C4 brilliantly escapes before Shogun can lock in and counters with a dragon sleeper! Before C4 can lock it in, Shogun twists free and drops C4 with a haymaker! Shogun applies a reverse chinlock!"
Brad Blood: "Colton uses his brute strength to pry open Shogun's arms! Big kick to the gut by Shogun stops Colton cold! He picks Colton up... Samoan drop! Shogun drags Colton by the hair... HE'S GONNA SLAM COLTON'S FACE INTO THE BARBED WIRE CAGE! Wait! Colton blocks the attempt! OHHHHH! Colton is the one who draws first blood as he did to Shogun what Shogun originally planned for him!"
Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb just slammed Shogun's head into the barbed wire and a vicious gash has opened up on the side of Shogun's head! Shogun flails wildly with a spinning elbow... It grazes C4 on the chin! Shogun tries to distance himself from C4 to recover... Cobb charges forward! BACK BODY DROP BY SHOGUN SENDS C4 RIGHT INTO THE BARBED WIRE CAGE!"
Brad Blood: "WHOA! COLTON'S BACK JUST GOT SKEWERED! Colton falls back inside the ring as his blood stains the canvas! Shogun picks Colton up... He locks on an abdominal stretch! C4 is in pain! Will he tap out?! No! Despite the pain C4 again is using somehow breaks free of Shogun's hold!"
Jim Jackson: "Lariat by Shogun sends Colton Charles Cai Cobb back to the mat! Shogun grabs C4's limbs... He is going to go for a surfboard! C4 slips free before the submission is locked in! Shogun grabs C4 from behind... Mule kick! Shogun goes down! Cobb unleashes brutal stomps on Shogun's head. C4 locks in a sharpshooter! Shogun somehow manages to get to the ropes!"
Brad Blood: "C4 picks Shogun up in a fireman carry... HE THROWS SHOGUN INTO THE BARBED WIRE CAGE! Shogun's left arm has been torn open! C4 smells blood and goes in for the kill. Shogun sidesteps and counters with a gutbuster! Shogun grabs C4's leg... HE CATAPULTS C4 INTO THE BARBED WIRE CAGE! Oh man, both men will end up as pin cushions by the time this match ends. Shogun goes for the cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: ""Colton Charles Cai Cobb gets a shoulder up! Shogun applies a stepover toe hold on C4... C4 tries to struggle free, Shogun transitions to a three-quarter facelock! C4 reaches out and manages to get a rope break! Shogun picks Cobb up... He goes for a cobra clutch... C4 breaks free! Eye rake by C4 blinds Shogun temporarily! The referee gives C4 a warning! Cobb takes Shogun down with a reverse bulldog!"
Brad Blood: "The canvas is now stained red with the blood of both men... Colton picks Shogun up... Irish whip by C4 but Shogun stops short of hitting the ropes! Colton charges in... Shogun counters with a spinebuster! Shogun picks C4 up on his shoulder... He's gonna throw Colton to the barbed wires again!"
Jim Jackson: "COLTON CHARLES CAI COBB SLIPS FREE AND SHOVES SHOGUN INTO THE BARBED WIRES INSTEAD! Both men are clearly in pain and with the amount of blood that they are losing, it's a miracle they haven't passed out yet! Axe handle by C4 knocks Shogun down! Fist drop by Cobb connects!"
Brad Blood: "C4 is going for a reverse STO... No! He transitions it to a Koji clutch! Shogun grunts in pain! Wait it looks like the bloodied bodies of both wrestlers make it hard for them to get a solid grip on each other! Shogun is able to slip himself free! Both wrestlers get back to their feet."
Jim Jackson: "Both Shogun and Colton Charles Cai Cobb are losing a lot of blood, this match is surely taking a toll on both their bodies. Whoever has the most endurance will be the one to claim victory. Both wrestlers lock arms... C4 gets the upper hand and sends Shogun to the ropes! Shogun bounces back... Three point stance clothesline by Cobb connects! Shogun goes down!"
Brad Blood: "Colton approaches Shogun but Shogun rolls away and quickly distances himself from Colton! Colton charges forward. Shogun shoots for the legs! He takes Colton down! Shogun goes for the wrist... It's a stepover armlock attempt! NO! Colton wrenches his arm free!"
Jim Jackson: "Discus clothesline by Shogun but Colton Charles Cai Cobb dodges! Cobb shoves Shogun show slams into the referee and knocks him out!! C4 goes for middle kick! Shogun catches his leg and spins him around! Mat slam by Shogun sends C4 to the canvas! Shogun goes for a Damascus head-leglock! C4 is locked in! C4 is locked in! C4 taps! Wait! The referee is still out!"
Brad Blood: "Shogun releases the hold when he realizes the referee is out! He tries to rouse the ref! Colton sneaks up behind him and attacks him from behind with a hammer fist! He turns Shogun around... STUNNER CONNECTS! C4 goes for the cover! The referee is slowly regaining consciousness! Colton screams for the ref! The ref sees the cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Only a two count there! Both men could have easily won that time if the ref wasn't out cold. C4 picks Shogun up, he's gonna go for a double underhook... NO! Countered by Shogun! Colton Charles Cai Cobb is sent flying with a back body drop! Shogun staggers to the ropes which he uses to prop himself up..."
Brad Blood: "Colton is also using the ropes to try and climb back up to his feet. Both men are definitely spent by this point. Shogun charges first, he leaps... Flying forearm connects! Shogun lifts C4 up... Olympic slam! Shogun goes for the cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."
Jim Jackson: "Oooh! Colton Charles Cai Cobb hangs on! So close but Shogun still fails to put Cobb away. Shogun grabs C4... LOW BLOW! Shogun crumples to his knees! The ref gives C4 another warning! One more and he gets disqualified! Colton Charles Cai Cobb grabs his opponent's waist and hoists his opponent up onto his shoulder in an overhead gutwrench backbreaker rack. He then sits down and simultaneously flips the opponent forwards and downwards, slamming his opponent down to the ground face-first to one side executing an explosive Ground Zero!"
Brad Blood: "HOLY CRAP THE SHOOK THE RING! GROUND ZERO! GROUND ZERO! COLTON HITS HIS FINISHER ON SHOGUN! IT'S OVER!!! Colton hooks the leg! "
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."
Brad Blood: "WAIT! SOMEHOW SHOGUN GETS HIS LEG ON THE BOTTOM ROPE! The ref stops counting! C4 is not happy and argues with the ref!"
Jim Jackson: "The referee made the right call Brad, Colton Charles Cai Cobb may not be happy but the referee made the right call and his word inside the ring is law. C4 pulls Shogun to the middle of the ring... He hooks the leg..."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thre..."
Brad Blood: "OHHHHHH! So close but so far away! Shogun somehow recovered enough strength to kick out! C4 is definitely pissed beyond belief right now! C4 picks Shogun up on his shoulders... Shogun slips down behind him and locks in a sleeper hold! He's gonna put Colton to sleep! Can he do it?!"
Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb is fading fast! Combined with the blood loss, the lack of oxygen further weakens Cobb! The referee goes to check on C4, he lifts C4's arm... It goes down!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One!"
Jim Jackson: "The referee lifts C4's arm a second time... Again it flops down!"
Don Q. Hotte: "Two!"
Jim Jackson: "Just one last time and it's over... He lifts C4's arm..."
Brad Blood: "IT STAYS UP! IT STAYS UP! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! SHOGUN CAN'T BELIEVE IT?! Where is Colton getting the strength to fight on! Colton struggles and twists... HE LIFTS SHOGUN UP! SIDE SUPLEX CONNECTS! Both men are laying down on the canvas!"
Jim Jackson: "Colton Charles Cai Cobb is stirring... He's crawling to the ropes... Clearly he's on his last leg! Shogun is also crawling for the ropes on the opposite side, also running on fumes... Both men grab on to the ropes using it to climb back to their feet... They take a breath before staggering to the middle of the ring towards each other!"
Brad Blood: "They lock arms! Both men lock arms... Pushing against each other, they are both trying to show dominance over the other! Colton starts pushing Shogun back... Shogun is slowly back up towards the ropes! Colton pushes Shogun's back against the ropes and into the barbed wire cage! The barbed wires dig into Shogun's back! Shogun screams out loud!"
Jim Jackson: "SHOGUN HEADBUTTS COLTON CHARLES CAI COBB! IT'S DO OR DIE! SHOGUN WITH A SERIES OF HEADBUTTS DRIVES COBB BACK! Running on adrenaline Shogun gives Cobb one last headbutt... COBB REELS BACKWARDS AND RELEASES SHOGUN'S HANDS! Shogun lifts Colton Charles Cai Cobb up into into the air in a half nelson and then into a backdrop position before slamming Colton Charles Cai Cobb down to a sitting position, slamming the back of his neck to the canvas executing a Demonic Sacrifice!"
Brad Blood: "DEMONIC SACRIFICE!!! SHOGUN HITS THE DEMONIC SACRIFICE!!! SHOGUN GOES FOR THE COVER!!!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Brad Blood: "IT'S OVER SHOGUN WINS! SHOGUN WINS!!!"
DING! DING! DING!
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall... SHOGUN!"
Jim Jackson: "The crowd is up on their feet and clapping! It's a standing ovation for both men! Tonight two titans clashed but it was Shogun who walks out of the barbed wire cage!"
Brad Blood: "Don't count on it... I don't think Shogun can even stand at this point... EMTs have now come in to check up on both wrestlers as the crowd continue to cheer and applaud the two men who battled it out inside the barbed wire cage tonight. What a match... What a match!"
The camera pans slowly to the scene of Ray Kamaura sitting with Marcus Troy. Both clad in suits of the highest value and style. Troy was puffing on his trademark cigar, while Ray struggled to sit comfortable in the tiny ass chairs.
Ray Kamaura: "These chairs are terrible, How am I suppose to business with you while feeling like a black man entering an Asian? I just don't get it Troy. Your old chairs were big, comfy, massive symbols of pure ass delight, what happened?"
Ray shifted around in the chair a bit more until he finally came across the the perfect way to sit. Marcus Troy was growing impatience
Marcus Troy: "I'm a busy man, Mr. Kamaura, please make this quick."
Ray lifted his hands up into the air and stretched, mocking Troy. Who's face seemed get redder and redder.
Ray Kamaura: "Anyway I'm hear about a stipulation that held me back from holding championship gold in this business. I just wanna be clear that, It's been well over a year since that stipulation ended. I know I know "This is a reunion show. Nothing more." But who are you kidding when you say that? The money from this show is gonna come pouring in and you will be back to your old self in no time."
Ray didn't give Marcus a change to respond before speaking again.
Ray Kamaura: "I'm only saying that IF we do come back... I want Andrew Hunter, and Raven Connoly, the last two champions. There can be no mistake... I'm not a fly in your web anymore, I'm the spider and I know you can appreciate that sentiment."
Marcus Troy sighs as he lights up a cigar. He offers Ray Kamaura one but Kamaura declines.
Marcus Troy: "You are right in one thing yes, this event will rake in a huge stack of money. BUT! Yes there is a BUT Mr. Kamaura. All the proceeds from this event shall go to the Children Cancer Foundation, specifically for pancreatic cancer research, the same sickness that took the life of Eunice."
Marcus Troy leans back as he sees his words sink into Ray Kamaura.
Marcus Troy: "There won't be a next show after this. This is ULOL's last hurrah, and what a last hurrah it will be. We shall be fighting for a good cause. You may find it hard to believe, and I do not want to engage in any debates to prove my trustworthiness to this cause so believe me or not, I do not care. I know that this is not what you want to hear, would I want to continue ULOL after this show? Yes I would but without Eunice, this will not stay ULOL."
???: "Hey Troy! We got the old coffee maker working!"
At that moment, Alexander Melchiott walks into the office with a coffee in his hand.
Alexander Melchiott: "I remember you mentioning how much you liked the old coffee maker, so Hunter and I decided to do something nice for you and get it working again as thanks for you organizing this event. Seriously, this means a lot to a lot of people."
Melchiott smiles as he sets the coffee down onto Marcus Troy's desk.
Alexander Melchiott: "So here you are! First cup from the old coffee maker! Enjoy!"
As Melchiott turns to leave, he notices Ray Kamaura sitting across the table from Marcus Troy.
Alexander Melchiott: "...I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"
???: "It seems like everyone has at least one real good shit story from this place."
Then in walks Andrew Hunter, a considerably more empty cup in his hand.
Andrew Hunter: "Gotta say, I was really looking forward to some coffee, but when Alexander reminded of what you're doing here, I decided I could wait. You deserve it way more. That said, get me some coffee now- it's still in the coffee maker isn't it?"
At Melchiott's nod, Andrew sighs and turns to leave; whereupon he notices Ray Kamaura sitting across the table from Marcus Troy.
Andrew Hunter: "Wait a tic, are we interrupting something? Dangit Alex, you had one job!"
Ray took a second to ponder over everything that was happening. Ignoring Alexander and Andrew's entrance.
Ray Kamaura: "Sorry Marcus. Ever since this place closed I have been working. It's hard to turn it off."
Ray picked up a bit, and waved to Hunter and Melc...Conway. He reached into a bag beside him and pulled out a bottle of Scotch and some glasses.
Ray Kamaura: "Sit down boys. Have a drink."
Ray poured out four glasses, and handed them out.
Ray Kamaura: "A few words Troy?"
Andrew shrugs off Ray Kamaura's offer fairly quickly.
Andrew Hunter: "Delicious nostalgia coffee or a no-name scotch stuffed in with a giant man's underwears? Tempting offer, really."
Apparently deciding in favor of nostalgia coffee, Andrew takes his leave; though not before pausing to wave Alexander to go with him.
Marcus Troy finishes the last of the coffee which was offered to him, glad it wasn't spiked with laxative this time. He then turns his attention to Ray Kamaura.
Marcus Troy: "So Mr. Kamaura, what do you want to speak to me about tonight? We had so many interruptions but now that our coffee break is done, we should get back to business. I myself would want to apologize for the past, when this office was unwelcoming. I know I was not approachable and I know that I made things hard for anyone else who doesn't side with me."
The general manager of ULOL leans back on his chair and sighs deeply before continuing.
Marcus Troy: "Well things are different now, this is our final night. Our night of glory. It may be too late but my office is open to everyone today."
Ray finished the glass. The big man in the little seat stood up.
Ray Kamaura: "It's nothing Troy. I just got caught up in the glory."
Ray extended his hand to Marcus Troy.
Ray Kamaura: "It's been an honor."
This has been an unexpected evening, with unexpected results and occurrences. Marcus Troy stands up and takes Ray Kamaura's hand.
Marcus Troy: "The honor's mine. Working with the lot of you has been a pleasure. Thank you Mr. Kamaura and good luck in your match later."
Scum of the Earth by Rob Zombie kicks in. The crowd raises to their feet and with a loud cheer they welcome the undead monster back on this one night spectacular. Whether you were or are heel or face in the past, tonight it didn't matter. These fans came to see every explosive wrestler that walks down the ramp this night. And Zombie feels it. Smiling he swaggers to the top of the ramp, it is a strange sight to say the least. He comes bearing a microphone and he raises it to his mouth as he moves slowly down the ramp.
Zombie: "So this is the end. The penultimate episode of this company! I didn't realise the state of this place until I smelt the despair on Marcus Troy. But the end is unstoppable, it comes to us all in a variety of forms. So I think it is good! Let this rotting corpse of a company finally die!"
Zombie's sinister laugh echoes around the arena and the fans boo him. He climbs into the ring and stands as upright as his own rotting corpse will allow. He holds a hand up to signifiy that he had not finished.
Zombie: "All good things must come to an end you guys. Sad but true! Luckily I am not good and therefore I will never end. BUT! As this is the end of The United League of Lunatics. And as nearly every other wrestler who was here before is returning.. then I have no other choice but to give my opponents their own end. Permanently! If they are not happy enough to actually come back to this place then they must wish their end upon themselves! And I will quite happily give it to you guys in the back!"
Zombie points towards the top of the ramp and titantron. He grins as he looks to the fans.
Zombie: "Metero will be first, then The Morbidly Obese Man.."
Zombie licks his lips at the mention of the name.
Zombie: "And I will save the best for last.. Ray Kamaura. It will be the most satisfying to put a permanent end to you. To sink my teeth into your jugular vein and watch your blood pour onto the floor of this very ring."
Zombie stares down at the floor. Smirking he imagines the sight in his mind.
"Last Man Standing" by Hammerfall starts to play as Ray Kamaura, The former leader of the DWMA, begins striding towards the ring. His seven foot frame towers over everything until he comes to the apron. Ray grabs the top rope and steps onto the ring then over the ropes into the ring. He swiftly moves to a turnbuckle and climbs it raises on arm into the air. Ray returns to ground level and walks slowly around Zombie. The crowd is chanting a million different things, and Ray is just soaking in the moment. After several seconds of just walking slowly around Zombie, sizing him up, Ray is handed a microphone.
Ray Kamaura: "Three years."
Ray pauses to ponder his words. Pacing around the ring, never breaking eye contacted with his opponent.
Ray Kamaura: "It's been three years since I have felt this kind of energy! These amazing fans are just breathing life into this arena. The Air is electric."
The crowd cheered louder and louder. Ray took the moment to absorb the moment of his return, of the ULOL's return. He had goosebumps.
Ray Kamaura: "They are not cheering for me, they are booing you, but they are not cheering for me. Do you know why they cheer? Do you, you undead meat sack? They want to see me shove my size 14 boot so far up your rotting ass that your lungs fall out."
Ray was forced to pause, the crowd was far to loud. He turned out to the crowd and motioned them to turn it down.
RayKamaura: "Settle down, You'll get your wish soon enough."
Ray faced Zombie again. staring right into his cold eyes. Neither gave an inch.
Ray Kamaura: "You want to destroy this? You want this energy, this love, this passion to die? You want to finish the ULOL? I was never the Primo Ultimo Champion, I was never the greatest wrestler here, but If you want to take this away from these fans... Take this away from me... You'll have to get through me. I swear on the good name of Ms. Eunice P. Winslow that I'll bury you so deep that Satan will have trouble finding your asshole for your normal Thursday night fuck fest. Are we clear?"
Ray dropped his microphone and just stood, with great confidence, in front of Zombie, just staring into his eyes. The crowd was silent, waiting on the edge of their seats to see what would happen next.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Whoa! So much ego in here it's really stinking up the place! Oh wait it's just Zombie's rotting corpse!"
The attention of the crowd quickly shifts to the top of the entrance ramp where The Morbidly Obese Man is standing.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "You both seem to have the assumption that the winner of tonight's match will be one of you. Sorry for bursting your bubble but both of you need to really find a way to curb your over-active imaginations. Oh wait. I guess I'll let you two continue on your delusional fantasy of winning, take it as my way of showing kindness before I pull the rug of victory from under your feet."
"Helter Skelter" by the Beatles starts playing loudly through the speakers of the ULOL arena once more time, to announce the arrival of the odd wrestler known as Meteoro. Due to his long absence, the crowd cheering is scarce.
He stands next to TMOM at the entrance ramp and brings a microphone to his mouth, but before starting to speak he looks around at the crowd.
Meteoro: "How interesting, for all you it has been many years since you last saw me. Well, many of you probably never have, but for me, it was just last week the last time I was here, in front of the crowd."
Meteoro: "And it seems that I have been forgotten! Come on, you know I was not the most successful wrestler of this federation, I'm not claiming that! But if there ever was somebody who managed to steal a win from their opponents, to be victorious against all odds somehow, it was me. I always found a way to do so. If anybody is gonna be pulling the victory rug from under their opponents feet it is going to be me."
We see a picture of Argentina's 2014 national soccer team, accepting their runners-up medals. The players were clearly not happy to be getting the second placers' award.
Voice: "They nearly won that."
A familiar face steps in front of the picture, to go with the familiar voice. He looks thinner, compared to the last time he appeared on United League of Lunatics media.
Manolo Ferrer: "I count two players in that group as my clients. They're still trying to process this whole thing, to get ready for the next challenges coming their way. But as I told them, they didn't do horribly, even though they lost. They got to the championship game, and Germany didn't shell them with a rain of goals."
Mr. Ferrer clicks his laser pointer, and the Argentine team flickers out.
Manolo Ferrer: "I've been keeping busy ever since ULOL closed shop. Different skillsets compared to what was needed to make it big in sports entertainment. Talent agents aren't usually required to be prepared for getting physically assaulted, for one thing. Let alone become a top wrestling talent's representative by actually wrestling him. The United League of Lunatics was a much different animal, even from other wrestling leagues, and there were a lot of challenges keeping the ULOL ship going. Wrestlers aren't usually trained to ingest cat meat, or put a gun to their own head. I'm still not sure how nobody got arrested for that Boleto Dorado match. Though I hear that Russian roulette match played better than what M. Night Shyamalan did with a gun in The Happening. Then again, my client didn't get into trouble for taking a knife to an ULOL match, where anything was legal. It helped too that his opponent was stitched back up and completely unharmed less than five minutes after flooding the ring with his blood."
Mr. Ferrer shrugs casually.
Manolo Ferrer: "I'm sure some of you guys were not exactly sure what to think about getting the kind of matches you got into while competing in ULOL. But the pain was - mostly - temporary. ULOL was the talk of the industry - it could not have the success that it was, if it wasn't truly a league of the biggest lunatics the roleplaying world could find. The late Ms. Winslow - rest her soul - could not have done it without you. Mr. Troy could not have done much without you. Even with ULOL running out of money, the show still somehow rolled on.
Mr. Ferrer clicks his laser pointer, and the ULOL logo flashes behind him.
Manolo Ferrer: "ULOL came to an end, like all good things. It didn't end like how my Argentine clients' dreams ended. You all took ULOL to the top, and it went out on top."
Mr. Ferrer steps out of the shot, letting the ULOL logo fill the screen.
 VS  VS  VS  Jim Jackson: "And finally, we've reached the final match of the evening! Four men, surrounded by 10,000 volts of electricity! That's right it's a fatal four-way electrified ropes match!"
Brad Blood: "Someone is getting toasty tonight! Seriously 10,000 volts is no joke!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a Fatal Four-way Electrified Rope Match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, hailing from the future, Meteoro!"
"Like a Rolling Stone" by Bob Dylan is hear through the arena as Meteoro walks towards the ring. He is wearing jeans and a plain T-Shirt, plus some sunglasses. He seems pretty relaxed, and takes his time to reach the ring.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Ray Kamaura!"
"Last Man Standing" by Hammerfall starts to play as Ray Kamaura, The leader of the DWMA, begins striding towards the ring. His seven foot frame towers over everything until he comes to the apron. Ray grabs the top rope and steps onto the ring then over the ropes into the ring. He swiftly moves to a turnbuckle and climbs it raises on arm into the air.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, The Morbidly Obese Man!"
THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!
The earth reverberated and shook as the monstrosity known as The Morbidly Obese Man squeezed himself out of the now visibly cracked entrance tunnel. There is no entrance music and no video playing on the Titan Tron. Just one massive form that looks bigger than an elephant. The crowd stares in stunned silence, not knowing what to make of the super-sized behemoth making his way down the entrance ramp as the floors creak with every step. As The Morbidly Obese Man reaches the ring he climbs up the steel steps the crowd wonders how this "thing" can enter the ring. But lo and behold in a feat of utter incredibility and great fat flexing ability, The Morbidly Obese Man somehow squeezed through the ring ropes and enters the ring which sighs heavily under his weight.
Jasmine Lee: "And introducing last, Zombie!"
"Creeping Death" by Metallica plays as Zombie slowly walks out. Zombie strolls down to the ring and steps into the ring.
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
DING!
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! The ring ropes have been electrified and now 10,000 volts run through them! With a look of understanding, Meteoro, Ray Kamaura and The Morbidly Obese Man all go after Zombie! He is definitely the most dangerous man in the ring right now! Heavy blows from the big wrestlers pushes Zombie near the electrified ropes..."
Brad Blood: "Meteoro signals Ray and Lardo... The big wrestlers step away as Zombie slumps to the canvas and Meteoro charges in! Rolling thunder to a jumping somersault senton connects! Meteoro grabs Zombie... HE SHOVES ZOMBIE TO THE ROPES!"
KZAAAT!
Jim Jackson: "Zombie howls in pain but quickly retaliates even as his flesh is still smoldering! Big clothesline from hell flips Meteoro in the air! The Morbidly Obese Man lunges forward... Zombie dodges the big man and slams his fist unto the big man's temple! Kamaura grabs Zombie from behind and hits a belly to back suplex!"
Brad Blood: "Ray picks Zombie up... He's gonna chuck Zombie onto the electrified ropes again... Zombie slips free and lands behind Ray! Zombie shoves Ray... He manages to put on the brakes before he hits the ropes!"
Jim Jackson: "Zombie continues to push on Ray Kamaura but Kamaura is like a wall, he's not budging... Meteoro charges in and hits a spinning neckbreaker on Zombie! Here comes The Morbidly Obese Man... LEG DROP CRUSHES ZOMBIE'S RIBS!"
Brad Blood: "Ray and TMOM start stomping away at Zombie... I don't think Zombie will come out in one piece here... Wait! Meteoro leaps to the ropes... WHAT THE?! METEORO'S TIME SUIT INSULATES HIM FROM THE ELECTRIFIED ROPES! SPRINGBOARD SPINNING SIDE KICK SENDS RAY REELING!"
Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man throws a standing clothesline but Meteoro ducks under it! Meteoro goes low and attacks the back of the big man's knee! Shining wizard connects! Kamaura manages to grab Meteoro from behind... Meteoro stomps on his foot! Kamaura howls in pain and jumps around holding his foot!"
Brad Blood: "Meteoro goes to the ropes... Springboard hurricanrana sends Ray flying! Ray crashes into TMOM who is just getting up! TMOM trips backwards on Zombie's corpse!"
KZAAAT!
Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man hit's the electrified ropes! He screams in pain before falling inwards! A dark char is seen on the flesh where the big man hit the ropes. I think... I think I smell bacon..."
Brad Blood: "So Meteoro is the only one immune to the ropes. Look! Zombie is rising from the dead again... Meteoro with an Irish whip sends Ray crashing into Zombie! Zombie hurtles towards the ropes again!"
KZAAAT!
Jim Jackson: "Ooh! Zombie is cooked some more! The undead wrestler screams in rage! Meteoro charges towards Zombie... SPEAR BY RAY KAMAURA SENDS METEORO FLYING! Zombie charges towards Kamaura... Kamaura counters with a spinebuster!"
Brad Blood: "TMOM is behind Kamaura! W-chop! Kamaura staggers forward! Big boot by TMOM on Kamaura's but sends him tumbling to the ropes!"
KZAAAT!
Jim Jackson: "Ooh! Ray Kamaura is letting loose some expletives as he nurses his singed flesh. Here comes Zombie... The Morbidly Obese Man knocks him silly with a huge right! He lifts Zombie up... Pumphandle slam shakes the ring! Meteoro leaps to the ropes... Springboard crossbody... "
Brad Blood: "TMOM catches him in mid-air! Backbreaker! Ooh! He almost broke Meteoro in half with that one. Ray Irish whips TMOM to the ropes..."
KZAAAT!
Jim Jackson: "Ooh! The smell of cooked bacon again permeates the air. The Morbidly Obese Man falls to the ground... Kamaura turns around... Zombie drills him to the mat with a DDT! Meteoro gets up to his feet... Gutbuster by Zombie sends Meteoro down again! Zombie turns his attention to The Morbidly Obese Man... He attempts a hip toss..."
Brad Blood: "HE CAN'T DO IT! TMOM counters it with a hip toss of his own! Ray comes charging in... Arm drag by TMOM sends him to the mat! Meteoro goes low... He takes TMOM's leg from under him! TMOM falls to one knee!"
Jim Jackson: "Meteoro leaps to the top rope... Springboard spinning side kick knocks The Morbidly Obese Man down. Meteoro leaps and uses The Morbidly Obese Man to get some air time... Flying spinning elbow connects sending Zombie reeling! Kamaura grabs Meteoro... He locks him in a bear hug!"
Brad Blood: "Meteoro with tries to break free but Ray's grasp stays firm! TMOM is up... He throws a big right staggering Ray who releases Meteoro! Meteoro charges at TMOM... Shoulder block by TMOM sends Meteoro to the mat! Ray grabs TMOM... He struggles to lift him.... Every vein in Ray's body seem to be coming out as HE LIFTS TMOM UP OVER HIS HEAD! HE THROWS TMOM UNTO THE ROPES!!!"
KZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!! SNAP!
Jim Jackson: "THE ROPE BREAKS! THE ELECTRICAL CIRCUIT AROUND THE RING HAS BEEN SHORTED OUT!!! TMOM is not moving! Ray Kamaura goes for the cover..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Meteoro with a leg drop breaks the three count. Kamaura gets up and is about to lunge at Meteoro... Double clothesline by Zombie takes both of the out! Zombie screams loudly and it looks like... IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA TAKE A BITE OUT OF RAY!"A sudden furor erupts, the commotion hooking the people's attention to where there is suddenly an agitation bubbling up from the crowd.
Jim Jackson: "It's HIM!"
Fans' squeals and sparkles of camera flashes blanket the fandom present. The melee in the ring is momentarily forgotten as an increasing number of fans whoop and shout and take pictures of the blue ribbon of the battling arts.
He is none other than the masked maven of the wrestling ring. The one who is named
Brad Blood: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing wades through the crowd, every so often having to pose for pictures with fans who want to take selfies with him. The disguised daredevil pulls away from a fan who wants to nuzzle him in her ample bosoms, and is quick to spot a nearby cameraman, grabbing the camera so it focuses on him. His masked face quickly looms large on the big screen.
Brad Blood: "He's here! And he's gonna have trouble grabbing that camera if he insists on holding onto that Uzi!"
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "My lovely fans! I have desperately come to warn all of you that THAT Unfriend of All Living Things has done everything in its power to destroy my loving people! That walking deadite has raised a horde of other zombies! And they have devoured my poor homeland!"
Jim Jackson: "...what."
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing points a shaking finger at the zombie in the ring.
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "The nation that is my life-loving countrymen! Turned to snack packs for THIS! EVIL! ZOMBIE! AGAIN! I have come to pay tribute to my eaten people! I am here to get rid of THAT zombie!"
The fans cheer.
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "And I am here to warn you all that THAT unliving jerky stick has brought its friends HERE! They are outside! They want to turn you all into snack packs too!"
Brad Blood: "Uh what he say."
And then screams are heard above the mournful, angered words of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing, as people begin chaotically running into the arena from the exits. Screams for help, screams of zombies, screams of pain, and a few gunshots punctuating the screaming.
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing turns towards the panicked crowd rushing down the aisle, takes aim and shoots a charging zombie in the head.
Jim Jackson: "MY GOD WE REALLY HAVE ZOMBIES INVADING!"
Brad Blood: "Q's now heading to the ring! He's shooting at Zombie!"Jim Jackson: "Holy crap! Zombies are tearing into the crowd! Someone save us! Q is going after Zombie! He just pumped Zombie full of holes... Q just unsheathed a kris! He cuts Zombie's arm off!"
Brad Blood: "Look! The wrestlers are all coming out armed with weapons! They are fighting the zombies! Raven and Bakla just decapitated a group of zombies in an instant! Richard "The Dragon" Johnson just beat the brains out of another zombie with his nunchucks!"
Jim Jackson: "GoodFella & Schwarz and Oriental Spices are doing damage to another horde of zombies as the innocents flee! Taufik, TK Kenta are back to back fighting off another group of undead! Even the heavily injured Shogun and C4 are risking their lives to protect the audience from the undead horde!"
Brad Blood: "The DWMA has retrieved Ray! TMOM and Meteoro are joined by Alexander and Andrew! Zombies are getting destroyed everywhere but we they just keep coming! It's a never ending sea of undead! WE'RE DOOMED! DOOMED!!!"
Marcus Troy: "ALL SURVIVORS HEAD TO THE BACK! THERE'S A SECRET TUNNEL DOWN THERE THAT LEADS TO AN UNDERGROUND BUNKER! QUICK!!!"
Jim Jackson: "You heard the man! Everyone who still can flee! FLEE!"
The survivors quickly flee with ULOL's wrestler bringing up the rear preventing the zombies from harming further innocents... The wrestler Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is one of the last to leave as he mercilessly decapitates more undead. The general manager of ULOL Marcus Troy stands at the opening of the entrance tunnel with a sawed-off shotgun shooting more zombies.
As Troy realize that everyone is safe except him and Quioaecaopedidwazhapshing, he calls out to the masked avenger.
Marcus Troy: "Q! You head in too!"
The masked slaying god of the undead looks at the general manager of ULOL, this once hated foe has redeemed himself.
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "But what of you who I once refer to as the lower than the feces of cockroaches! I do not think that you can battle this horde alone! No I shall stay and fight alongside you former unfriend! Together we shall vanquish or be vanquished!"
Marcus Troy: "No Q, this is my house, you go in I can stop these zombies!"
The general manager of ULOL unbuttons his suit and the masked wrestling deity realizes that Marcus Troy has explosives strapped around his chest. Realization crept in on Marcus Troy's final plan and with a nod of respect, the masked marauder of justice exits through the entrance tunnel.
Marcus Troy waits for the horde to assemble once again and run towards him. With a grin he brings out the detonator...
Marcus Troy: "C'mon you fuckers! Time to meet your maker!"
CLICK! KA-BOOOOOOOOOO~
???: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
A figure sits up on the bed covered in sweat. Reaching out, a wrinkly old hand turns on the lamp. Eunice P. Winslow sits up and pours herself a glass of water.
Eunice P. Winslow: "Whew! It's only a nightmare... That's the last time I watch a Walking Dead marathon before going to sleep."
Eunice P. Winslow finishes her water and returns to bed...
THE END! | |
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