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 Lucha Loco 10/16/2011

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PostSubject: Lucha Loco 10/16/2011   Sun Oct 16, 2011 11:11 am



Jim Jackson: "Good evening and welcome folks to another night of exciting wrestling here in Lucha Loco brought to you by United League of Lunatics. We have great matches lined up for you tonight so be sure not to touch that remote."

Brad Blood: "Yeah, in fact smash that remote to bits, you won't need it for the rest of the night. This show will satisfy your cravings for action, comedy and drama that you'll feel like you just had the best orgasm ever."

Jim Jackson: "Pardon my partner's choice of words folks. Now let's just get things started, I'm sure everyone else is as excited as me to get the ball rolling, so without further ado, LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"






Airport crew are offloading large crates from the belly of a C-130 Hercules. The labels on the crates indicate food being delivered. One man watches as workers handle the large crates, loading them onto waiting trucks.

The masked man is none other than the disguised daredevil of the ring. He is the supreme superstar known only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

He turns towards the camera, while the goods continue to be unloaded behind him.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "This week's show of the ULOL falls on a day special to me! This is supposed to be a day to remind us all of a big dream! That one day no child will go to bed hungry! That there will be no greed that will deprive anyone of a meal! Today! Is World Food Day! October 16!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing gestures to the camera.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Do you know how the enemies of my humble people are observing World Food Day!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's masked features a briefly replaced by a clip of a man gorging himself on vast quantities of food.

It's a clip of the Morbidly Obese Man, gorging himself on vast quantities of food. It looks like he is eating from the inside of a trailer.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "That was when he deprived my people of food they were expecting! Food that was supposed to go to my people instead took the scenic route down his intestine of iniquity! This year's World Food Day carries a black mark! From all the times he has eaten! And eaten! And eaten! More than enough to feed whole villages! His greed has only spurred me to fight harder! And smarter! Today is a day not only to inspire us all to feed the hungry! It is also to inspire us to stand against the evil gluttony that has caused so much pain and unfairness!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing gestures to the camera again.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "But instead of facing that slobby cliff of constipated cellulite! I am assigned to fight the anonymous enigma! I prepare to face your enigmatic might and magic! But I must warn you! You must be on the lookout for supersized peaks of pork! You must be ready in case the cake-killing creep decides to stick his nose in our match!"

The camera pans away from the masked man, focusing again on the trucks of food being prepared for delivery.






The Camera opens up to show Aurora Borealis (looking hot per usual) sitting on a custom made chair in her locker room with lucius and angelus sitting beside her

Aurora Borealis: "Ce soir, j'ai la chance de gagner un peu d'or pour aller avec mon look parfait. tout ce que je besoin de faire est défaite qui harlet d'une femme, Raven Connoly."

(TL: Tonight i have the opportunity to win some gold to go with my gorgeous looks. All I need to do is defeat that harlot of a woman, Raven Connoly.)


The wolves begin to howl

Aurora Borealis: "Personne ne sera capable d'empêcher mon éventuelle victoire et régner sur la terre ces misérables. Quand ce jour viendra, vous mes chéris, vous régalerez jusqu'au contenu de votre cœur sur la chair de ceux qui défient moi et mon chemin de la gloire. Car, lorsque la pleine lune se lève dans le ciel, et le hurlement des loups se fait entendre à travers les terres, je vais garder mes crocs et leur montrer la peur véritable. Je vous promets que la reine de l'Arctique et le souverain de tout ce qui peut contempler les aurores boréales, mon jour du jugement viendra et nul ne peut être sûre."

(TL: No one will be able to prevent my eventual victory and reign over those wretched land. When that day comes, you my darlings, will feast till your hearts content on the flesh of those who defy me and my path of glory. For when the full moon rises in the sky, and the howl of the wolves is heard throughout the lands, I will bear my fangs and show them true fear. I promise you as the queen of the arctic and the ruler of all that may gaze upon the northern lights, my day of reckoning will come and no one shall be safe.)


Aurora laugh sinisterly as the wolves begin to lick her hands. The camera fades to black






The scene fades into the interview area, located backstage. We see Enigma walking on his hands as he approaches Lex Lexington. He then launches up and somersaults onto his feet. He bows at Lex who starts the interview.

Lex Lexington: "Ladies and Gentlemen, my guest at this time is none other than the enigmatic egotist.. Enigma!

Now Enigma, we have seen very little of you since the Pay-Per-View. Why is this so?"


The purple attired, Enigma walks closer to Lex before answering.

Enigma: "Where have I been? That is a very good question Mister Lexington. Maybe I have been around, maybe I have not. Maybe you haven't put in enough effort to find me at all. Those who wish to be spoon-fed the answers do not fully understand the answer given to them, so they demand to be given more answers to fill in the holes in the previous logic, but this only creates more and more holes and they end up now where. However, those who spend countless hours, trying to understand the answer without digging extra holes. That is the answer to your question."

Lex retracts the microphone, clearly puzzled.

Lex Lexington: "Uhh.. Ok. What about your forthcoming match with Q? What are your thoughts about the match.?"

Enigma: "Again you have proven my earlier statement Mister Lexington. I do believe that many regard me as a mirror image of Mister Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. We both wear masks, we both fight with similar styles and no-one barely know more than our names. I think it will be an exciting match, A true battle between the best Luchadores in the world. You will regret missing it."

Lex Lexington goes to ask another question but looks back up to see that Enigma has vanished. Lex Lexington then signals for the camera shot to be closed as the scene fades.




VS

Jim Jackson: "Well it seems that we have a match between masked wrestlers."

Brad Blood: "Q versus Q the sequel..."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a singles match scheduled for one fall, introducing first, Enigma!"

A soothing and spiritual instrumental begins to play as the lights turn dim. After a few seconds pass, Enigma walks out slowly. He raises both hands into the air and point to the roof before outstretching his arms to point to the ring. He lowers his arms and then suddenly leaps forward, rolling onto the edge of the ramp and immediately jumps up to execute a picture perfect somersault. As he lands, pyros placed around the stage and titantron fire off to make a golden explosion.

Enigma walks down the ramp and leaps onto the apron. He then leaps onto the top rope with amazing balance. He then twists so he facing the stage. He then jumps backwards, performing a beautiful backflip. As he lands the four turnbuckles shoot out golden pyros. He then stands a corner of the ring as the lights resume their usual brightness.


Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, his opponent for the evening Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Nu-metal music begins to play as a highlight reel of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing runs on the ULOLTron. A horde of reporters and photographers gather at the stage entrance, taking pictures and giving a blow by blow of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's every move as he steps out for his match. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing waves to the fans as he slowly makes his way to the ring.

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! We have Enigma running straight towards Quioaecoapedidwazhapzhing, looks like Enigma is eager to prove himself against one of ULOL's hardened veterans. Enigma gets intercepted by a high dropkick from Q. Enigma quickly gets back to his feet but is sent stumbling back with a back heel kick. Driven DDT by Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing."

Brad Blood: "Whoa! Talk about impact, that actually shook the ring. Looks like Q is not letting the newcomer any room to breathe. Enigma isn't even able to rev up his engine."

Jim Jackson: " Enigma takes a flying neckbreaker from Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. Q quickly grabs Enigma's arm and twists it behind him... Enigma elbows Q in the face to break a hammerlock. Q holds on but Enigma hits a couple more elbows until Q is reeling from the repeated impacts."

Brad Blood: "Looks like Enigma gets free from Q, can he capitalize? enigma builds momentum bouncing on the ropes..."

Jim Jackson: "Enigma hits a dropkick on Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. Q gets back up... Lightning kick by Enigma on Q sends him back down to the canvas. Enigma goes airborne and hits a springboard corkscrew splash! Enigma hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Q kicks out at two. Enigma again goes for a risky move. Springboard legdrop by Enigma... MISSES!!! Q rolls away on the last second!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing with a corkscrew elbow drop connects into Enigma's chest! Q crushes Enigma with a big legdrop. Q waits for Enigma to get back up on his feet... Tiger suplex by Q and Enigma is down! Pin by Q!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Enigma gets a shoulder up at two! The rookie stays in the game. Looks like this battle may not be as easy as Q thinks it is. Q gets a headlock on Enigma but Enigma pulls himself free and starts throwing lightning quick kicks."

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing blocks a high kick and throws a huge right... It misses! Enigma with a dropkick sends Q stumbling into the ropes! Big clothesline by Enigma and Q goes over the top rope!"

Brad Blood: "Wait! Q lands on the ring apron. Enigma tries to follow through with another clothesline... Q ducks! He throws a high kick! Enigma back steps dodging it! Enigma with a spin kick through the ropes... Q catches Enigma's leg and crotches him on the middle rope!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing leaps back into the ring and kicks Enigma on the face! Irish whip by Q sends Enigma to the ropes... Corkscrew crossbody connects! The ref goes down for the three count!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Enigma kicks out at two! Q looks surprised! Again another Irish whip by Q sends Enigma to the ropes, Q goes for a back body drop but Enigma leaps over Q and bounces back."

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing falls to his belly as Enigma runs over him. Q with a dropkick but Enigma hangs on to the ropes and Q misses by a mile. Standing shooting star press by Enigma... Q rolls out of the way and Enigma hits nothing but canvas!"

Brad Blood: "Q with an Irish whip on Enigma... Enigma reverses and Q slams into the referee knocking him out! Enigma catches Q and rolls him up but there is no official to count!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing kicks out, Enigma quickly bounces on the ropes and hits a dropkick to Q's nape! Enigma with a springboard spin kick from the second rope and Q is down!"

Brad Blood: "The ref is still down, Enigma tries to rouse the referee... He doesn't notice Q stirring... Q is up and goes to the ropes... The crowd is trying to warn Enigma who turns around..."

Jim Jackson: "Springboard reverse DDT by Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing and Enigma is planted on the canvas! Q climbs up to the turnbuckles... WAIT!!! IT'S THE MORBIDLY OBESE MAN! TMOM COMES RUNNING OUT FROM THE BACK!"

Brad Blood: "Q sees TMOM and instead leaps from the top turnbuckle outside hoping to take TMOM out! TMOM CATCHES Q INSTEAD AND RAMS HIM BACK FIRST INTO THE STEEL POSTS! TMOM'S NOT DONE! HE SLAMS Q UNTO THE STEEL STEPS NEXT AND THEN THROWS Q'S LIFELESS BODY BACK INTO THE RING!"

Jim Jackson: "Enigma regains consciousness and sees Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing sprawled on the canvas... The referee seems to be also be regaining his bearings... Enigma crawls over and drapes his arm over Q's body! Oh don't tell me..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thre..."

Brad Blood: "Q GETS HIS SHOULDER UP! THAT WAS JUST TOO CLOSE! WAIT! Enigma hops over ropes and lands on the apron. He then jumps onto top rope and launches himself forward, he performs a somersault splash onto Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing and then gets up and springs off the top rope on the opposite side, except this time, Enigma performs a Tornillo splash executing a dazzling Springboard Combo!!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall, Enigma!"

Jim Jackson: "Enigma picks up a win after some interference by The Morbidly Obese Man! Looks like TMOM is still not done with Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing... He enters the ring... The Morbidly Obese Man leaps up into the air and sits down on them with such force crushing them to the canvas and pinning them to the mat executing a morbidly horrifying Massive Sit Down!!!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man, TMOM just flattened Q! He leaves the ring as EMTs rush to the scene... Q is not moving at all! I-I think he's dead Jim!"


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 10/16/2011   Sun Oct 16, 2011 11:11 am



The scene opens in the locker room of Oriental Spices where we see Nao Fook Mi staring intently into the camera. Her demeanor spells one of calm and peacefulness, opposite of the rage and anger seen weeks before.

Nao Fook Mi: "Confucius says never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself. It all started when I tried to impose on Raven Connoly my ideals, or what I thought my ideals are but after some deep thought and self-explorations, plus the fact that I lost control of myself two weeks ago, are my ideals as solid as I thought? I tried to impose my morals on her when it was shown that I myself am not perfect..."

Nao Fook Mi pauses and takes a deep breath before continuing.

Nao Fook Mi: "Confucius says real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance. Yes I was ignorant of my true self but I have woken up and realized who I really am and have now embraced and accepted that part of me which I once feared."

A smile spreads across Fook Mi's lips as she continues her monologue.

Nao Fook Mi: "Confucius says I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. I had to experience my dark side in order for me to understand it, and understand it I did. With that understanding I was able to take it into me and put it under control."

Fook Mi closes her eyes as she moves forward with her speech.

Nao Fook Mi: "Confucius says everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. And that beauty I have seen, even in her anger and rage, Raven has beauty. Her skill inside the ring is undeniable, her wrestling is her true self and we've all witnessed it. I shall once again bring that beauty out when I next challenge her."

Fook Mi opens her eyes again and stares into the camera.

Nao Fook Mi: "Confucius says the Superior Man is aware of Righteousness, the inferior man is aware of advantage. A perfect way to describe Ms. Connoly and myself. Now that I have come to terms with my dark side, I have also realized that despite this darkness in me, I shall continue on the side of righteousness, truly it is a harder path but it also means that I shall become stronger because of it. Raven chose the path of advantage, and that will lead to her downfall."

Fook Mi stands up and paces around.

Nao Fook Mi: "Confucius says wheresoever you go, go with all your heart. That have been what I had done and that shall be what I will do. I have always given my all in everything I do, that way whether I succeed or fail I shall have no regret."

Fook Mi stops pacing and continues forth with her talking.

Nao Fook Mi: "Confucius says our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do. I have fallen into the depths of darkness, yet I am her again standing before all of you who have given your support to me and my partner. I have realized that this is our greatest achievement, to keep on going despite the trials and tribulations that have plagued us."

Fook Mi settles down again on the bench.

Nao Fook Mi: "Confucius says he who learns but does not think, is lost. He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger. I have learned and I have reflected thus I am now at peace with myself, no more am I in danger in losing myself to rage and anger, maybe one day Raven shall understand this."

The oriental superstar takes a sip of water before she continues...

Nao Fook Mi: "Confucius says he that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools. I am still far from perfect, wrestling is my craft and I still have much to learn thus my journey continues and I would be honored if I have all of you accompany me in this endeavor."

Fook Mi raises her head high as she wraps up her monologue.

Nao Fook Mi: "Confucius says if you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear? As I have said, I thought that my anger and rage was wrong and tried to reject it when what I should have done is to embrace it to understand its root... This I have done and now no matter what taunts nor abuses Raven say and do, I shall stand firm and never falter. The words of an old wise man have made me realize much more about myself in a week what would have taken a lifetime of experience... I have been reborn so expect a new Nao Fook Mi to step into the squared circle."

The camera fades to black as it focuses on Fook Mi's peaceful eyes.





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IF NOT THEN WE HAVE THE ICE CREAM FOR YOU!



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Raven Connoly is seen walking down the halls backstage when Lex Lexington runs up to her.

Lex Lexington: "Raven, I've got a few questions, do you have time?"

Raven Connoly: "Do I have time, I'm on my way to my match Lex, no I don't have time."


Lex Lexington: "Just a quick question, you have a title defense against Aurora Borealis tonight, you've never had a match with her, are you worried at all. Also Nao is back, any thoughts on that."

Raven stops and turns around with a annoyed look on her face.


Raven Connoly: "Am I worried, about the ice queen and her dogs, no I'm not. The only reason she has a title match is because there are only a few women in this federation any way. I assume they drew her name out of a hat because I have not seen her do anything to warrant a title match. As for Nao, she has found piece with her dark side, blah, blah, blah. I could care less, Nao has had how many shots at this title, and blew every one of them because she can't control her emotions. As far as I'm concerned she's out of shots, I'm better than Nao and its obvious, we're done, I have nothing left to prove!"

Raven turns around and walks off leaving Lex standing there as the scene fades.






Creeping Death by Metallica plays and Zombie appears at the top of the ramp to a mixed reaction. He soaks in the reaction and surveys the crowd. He returns almost back to health after finally giving in to medical treatment. He now has a cast around his crushed arm. He walks down the ramp and towards the ring. He steps up the steel steps and grabs a microphone as he enters the ring.

Zombie: "What a match! One of the best I've had in my career! There was a few similar to that but that ... that one ... that set the damn bar! Connoly and myself put it all out there!!! My arm smashed to pieces!! First time I've ever needed a cast!! I was put through a car bonet!!! Then it got ruined!!!!!"

Zombie's voice turns serious. His brow lowers and he tenses up.

Zombie: "Ray Kamaura! I addressed him the week after and I get no reply! I admit I was in one HELL of a state but I meant what I said all the same! Taufik tried to help somewhat but I wasn't expecting much in all honesty! But don't you worry Taufik about forcing an apology out of him!"

Zombie looks into the camera and grins.

Zombie: "I'll do it myself!!!! In fact I'll beat out of him!! Whether he's in a car or not, I'll beat that apology so far out of him his teeth will be apologising to me!! Of course Connoly was in that match as well ... whether or not he wants a piece of Kamaura is up to him! But I want him to know we aint nowhere near finished my friend! We haven't as of yet finished a good proper somewhat clean match!"


"Sound Of Madness" by Shinedown starts to play as Ray Kamaura walks slow out on the ramp with a microphone in his hand. The crowd give mixed reactions of cheers and jeers. Ray Kamaura is unaffected by either of them. He raises the microphoneto his lips and scoffs.

Ray Kamaura: "You can't possibly think you can beat anything out of me. You can't even get anything out when you beat yourself. However, I do think there needs to be an apology. You need to apologize to every single one of these fans for wasting there time. You need to apologize to me for denting my car. But, most of all, you need to apologise to yourself. Apologise to yourself because after I'm done with you, you'll be nothing more than an undead pile of shit lying dead center in the ring."

Ray Kamaura switches hands holding the microphone. He walks to the edge of one side of the ramp and faces the crowd. He extenze his hand to point at them.

Ray Kamaura: "All of these people watched, last week, while I fought you off after just having a match. You tried to cheap shot me, and dispite being fresh out of a painstaking match, you missed and I handed your ass back to you on a silver platter. Zombie, You could barly handle a Rick Flair wannabe."

Ray Kamaura lowers the mic and waits for Zombie to reply.


Zombie smirks and raises an eyebrow.

Zombie: "At least a Ric Flair wannabe would still have a title shot! And you know what ... I still hadn't had any treatment for my last match. So I didn't expect much of myself, which is why I took advantage of the fact you had just finished a match! I wanted vengeance where I could see it and took the chance."

Zombie waves his arm wrapped in a cast.

Zombie: "But it looks like I'm going to have to wait a little while longer before I pound your head in! But I'll be seeing you soon!!"

Zombie drops the microphone and exits the ring making his way back up the ramp.


Ray Kamaura dropped his mic as well and yelled at Zombie.

Ray Kamaura: "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ray Kamaura turned around, pleased with himself and struted out of the arena.






VS

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the ULOL Campeón no Masculino. Introducing first, the challenger, Aurora Borealis!"

Tarja Turunen's ''I walk Alone'' begins to play as the arena goes dark, Blue and green lights shines throughout the arena and a mist covers the floor. The beautiful Princess of the Arctic, Aurora Borealis, comes gracefully out from the backstage arena, wearing a white cloak and stands on the entrance ramp. She begins walking down to the ring with whistling from male audience members. She walks up the steps and enters the ring. She drops to her knees in the center of the ring with her head down and arms wrapped across her chest. She removes the cloak, raises her head and gives a cruel yet seductive smile.

Jim Jackson: "Aurora Borealis getting her first title shot here tonight, this match is for the ULOL Campeón no Masculino!"

Brad Blood: "Aurora looking amazingly hot tonight, maybe we will see some wardrobe malfunctions tonight!"

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, the ULOL Campeón no Masculino, Raven Connoly!"

'Map Of The Problematique' by Muse starts playing throughout the arena, suddenly a wall of flames shoot up across the stage floor, after a few moments Raven Connoly emerges through the flames. She has on black spandex pants, a red and black corset, a black cane with a silver dragon design handle resting on her shoulder, and a long black coat that splits at her waist, once in the middle of her back, and on both sides, forming four tails that dance behind her as she approaches the ring.


Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly has successfully defended that title several times. However, I don't think she has had a clean title defense yet."

Brad Blood: "Whatever Jim, she was never disqualified, she kept that title by winning those matches, you and these fans can whine all you want, Raven is the champion fair and square in my eyes! "

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven starting things off giving Aurora Borealis a hip toss. Raven follows with a back kick, and then a nicely executed arm drag on Borealis."

Brad Blood: "Flying elbow from Raven Connoly, Raven taking control early in this match. Looks like I spoke to soon as Aurora Borealis pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Borealis hits a dropkick on Raven Connoly, and then a flying cross body off the top rope! Oh my, and now they are making out right in the middle of the ring!"

Jim Jackson: "No they aren't Brad!"

Brad Blood: "Why do you have to shatter my dreams Jim! Raven hitting Borealis with a clothesline, followed by an elbow drop right to the chest. Raven goes for a cover."

Sully S. Calawag: "One!"

Jim Jackson: "Aurora kicks out, a little premature pin attempt from Raven. Aurora back on her feet Irish whip into the corner. Aurora charges and nails raven with a knee lift smashing her into the turnbuckles, and then a bull dog slamming Raven face first into the mat!"

Brad Blood: "Aurora Borealis locking Raven in a camel clutch, giving us a pretty nice look at Ravens cleavage! Borealis is really working on Raven, this could be it. Wait, Raven grabs a hold of Aurora's foot, Raven is lifting Aurora up. Aurora with a hard punch to the back of Raven's head and Raven slams back down on the mat, that looked brutal. Aurora rolls Raven over and goes for the cover."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven kicks out, Aurora goes for a kick but Raven dodges and then hits Aurora with a huge upper cut! Slingshot clothesline by Raven, Raven quickly jumps onto the top rope springboard 450 Splash from Raven Connoly!!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two!"

Brad Blood: "Amazing, Borealis kicks out, and Raven looks pissed. Aurora catches Raven off guard with a back heel kick, Aurora with a elbow smash sending Raven into the corner. Aurora charges but Raven moves out of the way and Aurora smashes into the empty corner."

Jim Jackson: "Raven yanks Aurora out of the corner by her hair, come on ref, she can't do that. Borealis spins around a nails Raven with a powerful slap! That may have been a mistake, that may have just sent Raven over the edge."

Brad Blood: "Raven with a kick to the gut of Aurora, followed by a spinning neck breaker. Raven quickly back on her feet, and it looks likie Raven is stalking her prey now, Borealis starts to get to her feet. Raven Connoly bounces off the ropes and runs towards Borealis lifts her leg and kicks Aurora in the jaw with the heel of her shoes, Bloody Sunday!!!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three! Ring the bell!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pin fall, and still ULOL Campeón no Masculino, Raven Connoly!"

Jim Jackson: "Wait a minute, Raven isn't done yet, she starts beating down on Aurora Borealis. This is disgusting, the match is over, there is no reason for this! Wait! Nao Fook Mi comes running down the aisle! Nao slide into the ring and nails Raven with a spear!"

Brad Blood: "Aurora gets back to her feet and jumps on Raven and starts pummeling her, Raven shoves Aurora off just in time for Nao to get back in. HELL YES, CAT FIGHT!! "

Jim Jackson: "These three women are going at each other like wild animals, I have to admit this is pretty hot. I mean some one needs to get out here and break this up before they kill each other."

Brad Blood: "It's OK Jim, just enjoy it while it lasts. Just enjoy it."


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 10/16/2011   Sun Oct 16, 2011 11:12 am



Ah, The Sanctuary. Buzzing, as usual, with drunken, assumably Irish, people drinkin' some stuff. Which I hope falls under beer, I've never really bothered to ask. Regardless, the scenario is disrupted by a one, Andrew Hunter, noticed by his brown jacket, sitting at one of the tables. The camera man nears closer to the dumbshit-lucky champion, whom, by the way, is in a deep discussion with an older man, an obvious patriot of the Santuary by his drunken demeanor.

Andrew Hunter: "Your infinite knowledge of dirty jokes are fun and all, but you still haven't answered my question..."

Drunken, hard to understand patriot: "Yer mom!"

Andrew Hunter: "Wrong! My mother came AFTER the chicken AND the egg!"

Drunken, hard to understand patriot: "Uterus! Penis! EGG! Harharhar! Harrrr...."

The drunken, hard to understand patriot's face collapses directly onto the table as he falls asleep; a happy drunken sleep. Full of chicken's, eggs, uteruses, penises, more eggs, and Andrew Hunter's mom...

Despite the attention diverting conversation, Andrew manages to notice the camera. He clears his throat, takes another quick peek at the patriot, then redirects his attention to the lens.


Andrew Hunter: "Well, that was an unsuccessful attempt to start a promo involving two people talking about the classic chicken and egg scenario! You're very welcome for the demonstration!"

Andrew takes another look at the drunken, stinkin' patriot, as a few loud snores make their way from his nostrils.

Andrew Hunter: "Yeah, that was all I had planned. Well, I guess that this is Andrew Hunter saying enjoy the show, and remember... Never start a logical conversation with a drunk!"

Another loud snore, and the scene fades out. Hey, hasn't Allister been invloved in all of the promos in this place up to this point? Interesting.





The Camera opens up to show Lex Lexington as usual standing at the same spot as usual (seems like he must be glued to that spot) holding the microphone getting ready for an interview

Lex Lexington: "Ladies and Gentlemen, my guests at this time the current ULOL Campeónes Compañero champions, Allister King and Shadow Callahan, The Northern Kings."

Allister, Samantha and Shadow walk into view of the camera

Allister King: "Ahh this old song and dance."

Lex Lexington: "I didn't see you about last week."

Allister King: "That's cause we were doing public relations in Ireland. Great time, shit weather but we are use to it. You can't get drunk in any other country like you can in Ireland."

Samantha King: "Don't be so loud."

Shadow Callahan: "I am really surprised you drank more than us."

Allister King: "Ahh the dreaded hangover. You know what a great cure is?"

Samantha King: "Well you are the expert on that subject."

Allister King: "Actually I wasn't sober long enough to feel the effects of the hangover but when I stopped drinking for a while I had the mother of all hangovers."

Samantha King: "So you are basically telling me to go get drunk again?"

Allister King: "Nope, just one pint. And for the love of all that is holy, don't drink guinness. It will destroy you."

Shadow Callahan: "I guess it is the real black death."

Samantha King: "I like Guinness."

Allister King: "And you don't know the effects of it?"

Samantha King: "Never really affected me in any other way than getting drunk."

Allister King: "Lucky Bastard."

Lex Lexington: "Can we continue with this interview?"

Allister King: "Can you give us a minute?"

Shadow Callahan: "You go to The Sanctuary, have a drink and meet us before the mate?"

Allister King: "What he said."

Samantha storms off

Allister King: "That was your fault."

Shadow Callahan: "Lies!"

Allister King: "Now its the truth."

Lex Lexington: "Shall we begin?"

Allister King & Shadow Callahan: "Whatever."

Allister and Shadow look at each

Allister King: "Freaky!"

Lex Lexington: "Tonight you defend the titles against Brostar and Fettel. How are you feeling?"

Allister King: "Like a million dollars, thanks for asking."

Shadow Callahan: "I think you might be still drunk."

Allister King: "No I'm just having a good time."

Shadow Callahan: "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Shadow extends the middle finger

Allister King: "Same to you ya cunt nugget."

Lex Lexington: "Seems like we are out of time."

Allister King: "K see ya."

Allister walks away

Shadow Callahan: "And that is why he is the king of fools."

Shadow leaves as the camera fades to black






The scene opens with Brostar and Fettel Marston walking through Backstage ans speaking to each other about tonight's match.

Brostar: "Ok Fettel, you ready for tonight? All we need to do is stick to with tonight's plan and make sure we give it all we got."

He says as thinks of what to say next.

Brostar: "And what I said last week was a promise to us both. No matter what we will win those tag titles."

Brostar: "Also one last think, we need a tag team name.... What do you think it should be?"


He says as he waits for Fettel to answer.

Fettel smiles and scans the area as if looking for someone.

Fettel Marston: "Have you seen Dad? He's normally always with me but I haven't seen him for a while. Oh well I'm sure he'll be there for the match. The plan's all up here don't worry about it."

Fettel taps the front of his forehead.

Fettel Marston: "And as for a name I'd say Brostar and Marston is ok. We just need to decide on some music for our conjoined entrance. I think it's about time we entered the arena together next time. But we'll worry about that AFTER we win those tag titles."




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&

/W

VS

&

Jim Jackson: “Well we have our eagerly anticipated tag title match for the Campeónes Compañero championship up next! And the champions, Northern Kings, take on the Number One Contenders of Brostar and Marston!”

Brad Blood: “Yeah but they were failing miserably before Raven Connoly came in and ruined Oriental Spices chances of winning the match!”

Jim Jackson: “Well they’re here and they probably don’t care how they got here.”

Jasmine Lee: “This match is scheduled for a Tag Team matchup and is for the Campeónes Compañero championship. Introducing first the challengers, Brostar and Marston!!!”

"Show Goes On" by Lupe Fiasco plays as Brostar comes out and raises his hands as he walks down the ramp and runs into the ring, he goes up to the second turnbuckle raises his hands again, Then he jumps off with a backflip.

“The Devil's Own" by Five Finger Death Punch plays as Fettel Marston appears waving to the crowd. He walks down to the ring slapping fans' hands as he goes. He slides under the bottom rope to enter the ring and proceeds to climb a turnbuckle where he poses by flexing his muscles. He walks over to another turnbuckle on the opposite side and this time poses by simply raising his arms in the air.

Jasmine Lee: “And their opponents, they are the Campeónes Compañero champions, The Northern Kings!!!”

Blue and Red lights shine throughout the arena as Edguy's Robin Hood begins to play. Allister King and Shadow Callahan, accompanied by Samantha King, walk out onto the entrance ramp to a thunderous roar of the crowd. They pose on the top of the ramp as white pyrotechnics begin to rain down behind them. They continue to walk down to the ring, smiling to the crowd. Allister high fives a few off the audience members before sliding into the ring. Shadow and Samantha just casually walk up the steps and into the ring. They poses once more for the crowd, They hand Samantha all of the excess attire and Shadow places his cane in the corner.

Jim Jackson: “Marston and Brostar looking determined! The second time they have had a title shot but this time they have the Northern Kings all to themselves!!”


Brad Blood: “Allister King and Shadow Callahan ready as always to defend their titles! These two always give one hundred percent!! Looks like Marston and Shadow Callahan deciding to begin this match!!!”

Jasmine Lee: “The referee for this match will be Don Q. Hotte! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!!!!”

Jim Jackson: “And their partners go to their respective corners. Even if Brostar and Marston did get here on a fluke they will still give it their all! A title shot is a title shot at the end of the day. The bell goes as Marston and Callahan circle each other looking for an opening! They tangle it up anyway as they try to wrestle control into their favour.”

Brad Blood: “Fettel Marston managing to lever some pressure onto the arm of Callahan which leads on to a hold as Marston pulls the arm of Callahan around his back. Marston keeping the pressure on as he yanks Callahan’s arm upwards. Marston now with the arm drag and Callahan crashes down to the canvas!”

Jim Jackson: “Marston looking to take advantage and goes for standing moonsault! But Callahan quickly rolls out of the way and Marston lands hard on that ring floor! Shadow Callahan now looking to create some damage as he brings Marston up to his feet. Callahan with Marston on his shoulders and he brings Marston back down to earth with a ring shaking standing samoan drop!!”


Brad Blood: “Callahan looking good as he looks to inflict some more big damage! He doesn’t seem to be at all phased by the match so far! Callahan going to work on the grounded Fettel Marston. Marston not in a good position here. Callahan tagging in Allister King for the first time. Hoping to get some double team going as they both irish whip Marston to the ropes and a double clothesline hits!!! Huge impact on that occasion! King has the shoulders down!!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two!! Th...”

Jim Jackson: “Marston kicks out just in time!! Brostar about to enter to break up the pin but he didn’t need to! Marston trying to roll in the direction of his partner but King drags him across the ring. King with the knees to the skull of Marston now hoping to daze the two minded wrestler.”

Brad Blood: “Might bring some sanity back to Marston with those knees! The brain of Marston shaken to bits with the hard knees to the head. King dragging Marston to his feet and sends Marston flying into the corner turnbuckle with a powerful irish whip. King hoping to get some power with a big run up. But he misses!!! And his shoulder hits hard on the metal post of the ring!!! Hoping to send that shoulder into the abdomen of Fettel Marston but no one was home!!!”

Jim Jackson: “Marston shaking away the stars circling his head, as he goes for the tag!!! And Brostar eagerly propels himself over the top rope as he enters the ring to prey on the hurt Allister King!! Marston taking the good moves of sending his fresh partner in while he recovers on the outside!! King still in that corner trying to nurse his shoulder back to health. But Brostar looking to make it worse as he sends the heel of his boot right to that injured shoulder!!!”

Brad Blood: “Brostar with the boots still to the shoulder!! Mixing in a few boots to the body and face as well as that shoulder. And Brostar now wrapping the arm, belonging to the injured shoulder, around one of the ropes and pulling it around as far as it will go!!! Putting some major pressure on the shoulder as Brostar seemingly attempting to pull the arm away from King’s body!!! Brostar having to release though due to the referee’s command!”

Jim Jackson: Brostar jumping to the outside now rather athletically as well!! And he sends a BIG right hand to the face of Allister King which seemed to wake Irishman up!! Brostar quickly climbing the turnbuckle as King stumbles around the ring almost blinded by that shot to the face! Brostar going for something here!! Weary of Callahan though!! But there’s Marston to take the paranoia away!! Pulling Callahan off the ring apron and firing a load of punches!! If Brostar can hit whatever he’s doing we could have new champions here tonight!!

Brad Blood: “These two have had a plan right from the start!! Brostar eagerly awaiting the stunned King!! Like a predator waiting for his prey to make its move before striking!!! Brostar leaps as King turns!!! OH NO!!! KING CATCHES THE FLYING BROSTAR MIDFLIGHT!! AND SLAMS BROSTAR WITH A MASSIVE WIDOW MAKER RIGHT TO THE CANVAS!!!”

Jim Jackson: “OVERDOSE TO THE MIDFLIGHT BROSTAR!! Amazing quick thinking there by the Irishman!! King with the shoulders down!!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two!! Three!!!”


Jim Jackson: “Marston is celebrating right in front of us!! He’s going crazy!! Hearing only the bell to signal for the end of the match he obviously thinks Brostar hit his move and got the win!!”

Brad Blood: “Hey wait a minute!! He’s trying to take those tag titles!!”

Jasmine Lee: “The winner of this matchup is umm … I’m sorry … you didn’t …”

Jim Jackson: “Fettel Marston still adamant on taking those titles!!”

Jasmine Lee: “The winners and STILL the tag team champions, The Northern Kings!!!”

Brad Blood: “Marston finally turning around to see the dazed Brostar on the canvas and King celebrating in the ring! Callahan seems relieved by the announcement of the result as well!! As he quickly enters the ring to join in the celebrations!! Marston holding his head in his hands trying to figure out what happened!!”

Jim Jackson: “Well they did have this one almost won but King proved exactly why he is one half of the tag team champions!! A good win in the end by the reigning Campeónes Compañero champions!!”


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 10/16/2011   Sun Oct 16, 2011 11:12 am



Colton Charles Cai Cobb is seen pacing in the backstage area, clearly he is annoyed. As the camera pans closer it is seen he is talking into his cellular phone.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Where in the world are you?! No don't answer that, the fact of the matter is that I paid for your services so you should be here beside me! I am disappointed with your lack of professionalism Mr. Nikara... I was going to go into the ring to brag about our win last week in the tag match against former champions but now... I'm not anymore in the mood. I am docking your pay you hear me?"

C4 ends his call clearly still pissed.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "It's hard to find good help these days..."

Grumbling to no one in particular, C4 walks off as the scene fades to black.






The familiar sputtering of a scooter engine is heard as a pink Vespa rolls into the parking lot. Alighting from it is ULOL's transsexual superstar Boy Bakla. Taking off its pink helmet and slinging a Hello Kitty themed gym bag over its shoulders, Bakla proceeds to head into the ULOL compound when it was met by ULOL's interviewer Lex Lexington.

Lex Lexington: "Good evening, might we have a few words with you Bakla?"

A grin appears on Bakla's face as it traces its fingers on Lexington's chest raising all the hair on the back of his neck.

Boy Bakla: "Why of course Lex, you know I always have time for a little chitchat with you. Ask away."

Steeling himself from Bakla's advances Lex begins the interview.

Lex Lexington: "Tonight is your fourth match against Shogun Shogunsen in a best of five series. You are already down two points despite a strong start. Do you have any plans for tonight's match, specially since two weeks ago your plan to use "Petunia" backfired?"

Bakla ponders for a few seconds before replying.

Boy Bakla: "The answer has been staring me right in the face Lex. I beat Shogun clean in the first round which means I have what it takes to do it. I shouldn't have resorted to using "Petunia"... I admit now that my loss was no one's fault but mine."

Taken aback with Bakla's answer Lex asks the next question.

Lex Lexington: "That's a total 180 turn from what you were saying last week when you addressed the crowd..."

Bakla interrupts Lex as it snuggles close to the interviewer.

Boy Bakla: "It's not like I can't change my way of viewing things right Lex? I already changed gender, so I can change my mind."

Lex takes a step away from Bakla and resumes the interview wiping a sweat bead from his brow.

Lex Lexington: "How about changing your mindset on Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow? She doesn't seem to be the demoness you painted her to be Bakla."

Bakla's expression turns serious as anger begins to seep through its pores.

Boy Bakla: "I guess only I am not fooled by that old bag's charade. She has all of you dancing at the palm of her hands. No matter, I shall win my match tonight and my final match with Shoggie this coming PPV, and she will be stepping down as VGM... Now if you will excuse me."

Bakla whips around and enters the building clearly in an agitated state as Lex looks on as the scene fades.




VS

Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla and Shogun Shogunsen round four. Shogunsen has a 2 to 1 lead on Bakla in this best of five series."

Brad Blood: "This is certainly getting interesting... Both Shogunsen and Bakla have impressive wins over each other, but the pressure tonight is on Bakla if it could win and tie the series."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first Boy Bakla!"

Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to it's corner waiting for the match to begin.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, its opponent for the evening, Shogun Shogunsen!"

"Hybird Stigmata-the Apostasy" by Dimmu Borgir hits the speakers suddenly as the lights in the arena begin flashing on and off. As soon as the first lyric is screamed Shogun bursts out from the hind the curtain to the roar of cheers mixed in with boos. The wrestler has the same golden belt around his waist. When he makes it down the ramp Shogun quickly rolls into the ring and faces his opponent.

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "There's the bell and both wrestler grapple each other... Belly to belly suplex by Boy Bakla. Shogun Shogunsen gets sent to the corner with an Irish whip... He barely avoids an avalanche by Bakla!"

Brad Blood: "Shogunsen has Bakla on the corner and is laying it on with hard rights unto Bakla! Oh man, Bakla can only defend by putting his arms up to block those hard shots."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen drives a forearm into the chest of Boy Bakla. That knocked the air out of Bakla's lungs... Shogunsen whips Bakla into the turnbuckles... And predictably, the referee gets sandwiched."

Brad Blood: "This is the second time tonight that THAT ref went down... I hope he has insurance coverage..."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen hits a great swinging DDT on Boy Bakla. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Shogunsen tries to grab Bakla from behind... Bakla reverses a waistlock and hits a German suplex on Shogunsen. Kick to the gut from Bakla. Flying elbow off the top rope sends Shogunsen down!"

Brad Blood: "Bakla goes for the cover but the ref is still taking a nap... Bakla walks over to the ref and finally wakes the lazy bastard."

Jim Jackson: "Lazy? He was knocked out accidentally. Boy Bakla goes to work on Shogun Shogunsen's arm... Shogunsen counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Reverse DDT on Bakla."

Brad Blood: "Shogunsen goes for the cover but Bakla has its leg on the bottom rope! Shogunsen starts stomping away on Bakla."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen lifts Bakla up on its shoulders... Bakla slips down behind Shogunsen. Shogunsen spins around... Flying knee to the face from Bakla. I think that may have busted Shogunsen's nose."

Brad Blood: "Shogunsen's nose is dripping blood! That would slow down Shogunsen... Bakla may have turned things around with that knee."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen charges in! Boy Bakla ducks a clothesline attempt. Arm drag by Bakla sends Shogunsen to the canvas. Bakla quickly locks in a STF!"

Brad Blood: "Shogunsen manages to get an arm on the ropes and gets a rope break... WAIT! Bakla is not letting go ignoring the ref's warning!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four..."

Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla lets go one second short of getting disqualified. Bakla this time locks in the crossface on Shogun Shogunsen! Bakla is really trying to make Shogunsen tap... Wait! Shogunsen somehow powers free!"

Brad Blood: "That took a lot out of Shogunsen... He throws a wobbly punch which Bakla easily dodges. Bakla locks in a sleeper hold! Shogunsen is fading!"

Jim Jackson: "The ref is checking on Shogun Shogunsen, he lifts Shogunsen's arm up... IT STAYS UP! Despite having problems breathing due to his broken nose Shogunsen hangs in there... SHOGUNSEN JUST LIFTED BAKLA OFF ITS FEET! BACK SUPLEX FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!"

Brad Blood: "Bakla is down! Shogunsen feels his broken nose with his finger... HOLY CRAP! HE JUST SET HIS BROKEN NOSE BACK IN PLACE!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun Shogunsen looks at Boy Bakla, he's setting Bakla up for his figure four finisher... This could be it! If Shogunsen locks this in, it may be over for Bakla."

Brad Blood: "Wait! Bakla manages to slip free! Shogunsen throws a huge uppercut but Bakla dodges by leaning on the ropes! Forearm to the face by Bakla sends Shogunsen reeling!"

Jim Jackson: "Russian legsweep by Boy Bakla takes Shogun Shogunsen down! Bakla with a knee drop connects! Boy Bakla mounts on top of it's opponent and starts slapping away hard with a series of slaps until it's opponent is gets knocked out from the force of the slaps executing a vicious Bitch Slap Symphony!"

Brad Blood: "Holy crap! Bakla's palms went flying like a hurricane! Shogunsen is not moving! Bakla hooks the leg!"

Referee Name: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall, Boy Bakla!"

Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla did it! Bakla ties the series at 2 all! Both Bakla and Shogun Shogunsen have two wins each which means there will be a fifth and final match!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man, what a turn of events here tonight, who would have expected Bakla to win... Eunice P. Winslow must be very nervous now... If Bakla wins the fifth and last match she must step down as VGM."




Jim Jackson: "What a night... We had two successful title defenses where Raven Connoly and The Northern Kings hold on to their respective titles, we also had Q get taken out by The Morbidly Obese Man and losing his match to Enigma too..."

Brad Blood: "Don't forget Bakla's win tonight... That match was epic. He beat the former ULOL Primo Ultimo... TWICE!"

Jim Jackson: "You forgot to mention that Bakla also lost twice to Shogun Shogunsen... Anyways, either way, everyone will be looking forward to the final match in the best of five series... Unfortunately we are out of time so until next week, LET THE LUNACY CONTINUE!"


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 10/16/2011   

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Lucha Loco 10/16/2011
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