Lucha Loco 07/17/2011

Subject: Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:21 pm

Jim Jackson: "Welcome to another edition of Lucha Loco, we had much development after last week's show which ended up with The Morbidly Obese Man getting sent to the hospital."

Brad Blood: "Well that's his bad luck Jim. TMOM was hit by a semi being driven by Ethan O'Reilly, one half of the Lords of the Ring. We will find out more about his condition tonight. The question is, with TMOM out of the way, what will happen to the boycott?"

Jim Jackson: "That we don't know Brad, but a memo has been circulation preventing any of the ULOL staff to cover the boycott in the parking lot."

Brad Blood: "Yeah, I also got that memo... No free publicity for the boycott... Anyhows since that is the case, we might as well get the show started. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

Cameras flash and film, the reporters gathered recording the event playing out before them. Streaming banners announce something, in a language perhaps the rest of the ULOL would not understand. Underneath these banners are official-looking men, clad in official-looking suits, shaking hands with a man who is the gilded grappling great of the wrestling ring.

He is none other than the masked marvel known as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Official-looking man: "恭喜你! 我希望..."

An interpreter translates what is said, as one of the many reporters gives a blow by blow of what is happening.

Reporter: "The ULOL has now officially signed an agreement with China, to broadcast and distribute their shows on Chinese television. The ULOL Champion Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing has come to China as part of the ULOL group to finalize the deal."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Thank you! I have visited Asia many times to face some of the best competition in the world! But now I come to China! Looking to make new friends and find new competition! This new deal will help us do that! And hopefully soon, I will be able to compete here, to show China the best the world has to offer! It would be a good intro of wrestling to a nation with thousands of years of martial history!"

Several of the reporters raise their hands, hoping to have the masked man call on them.

Reporter 2: "Do you think the boycott will affect how the ULOL is perceived in China?"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Not any worse than how people elsewhere see the ULOL! I hear people find it entertaining to see the drama that messes the lives of the people at the ULOL! Just last week! Everyone's not so friendly neighborhood McSatan's has said he is now going to! What is that idiom! He will keep it real! He will tell it like it is! Shogun will no longer be any plain old devil worshiper! He will instead be a carbon copy of CM Punk! You can smell the drama already!"

Reporter 3: "You have a title defense against Chriso, Shadow Callahan and British Hawk this weekend. Do you have any thoughts about your first title defense?"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It will be a hard match! My opponents have a chance to rocket themselves to the top! They know no fear! I am ready to face Big Bird and his Sesame Streetfighting! Carlito and his shadow! And Chriso and his stiffy! Three men with very different fighting styles! It is a challenge I relish! Who knows! It might even be shown here, to our new fans in China!"

Reporter: "The ULOL already has Nao Fook Mi and Little Wang. Would you expect more wrestlers from China to make it to the level of a fed like the ULOL in the next few years?"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I do not doubt it! The Oriental Spices are just two of many, many very skilled fighters from China! I will not be surprised to see more of their countrymen fighting to the higher levels of our sport!"

The Chinese official gestures to Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Thank you for the interview time!"

The masked man follows the official, to pose for pictures with the local media.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens in backstage were we see Brostar walking through he seems to have bandages on his ribs after what happened last week, he stops as he sees Fettel in front of him.

Brostar: "Oh hey Fettel, you're just the person I want to talk to.. Do you have time to talk?"

He says as he waits for an answer.

Fettel Marston stops to examine the wrestler in front of him. He raises an eyebrow and gives Brostar an unapproving look.

Dad: "Who the hell are you? We gotta prepare for our match tonight fella! Do you mind moving?"

Dad starts to move away but he suddenly stops as Fettel's real personality regains control of his own body.

Dad: "What are you doing boy?"

Fettel Marston: "Let's hear him out Dad!"

Dad: "We don't even know who he is boy!"

Fettel Marston: "I got a feeling he's our opponent tonight! Brostar right?"

Fettel smiles and offers his hand out.

Brostar smiles back as he shakes his hand and speaks.

Brostar: "I am your opponent for tonight, and I have come here to talk to you about that, you see I went to Troy's office the other day and I wanted to face the Lord of the Rings next week and it looks like I have to beat an opponent here tonight for him to be my partner which is you, and I've just came here to say no matter where the match goes and who wins let's just have a fair clean match and hopefully you and I can team up next week to face the Lord of the Idiots, so what do you have to say?"

He finishes as he waits for an answer.

Fettel smiles and then laughs loudly.

Dad: "Looks like you were right boy!"

Fettel Marston: "See I said it would be! By "hopefully team up" you mean to beat me!"

Dad: "You're right there boy! Marcus Troy said that for us to team up, Brostar here has to beat us first! That ain't no walk in the park Mr. Brostar! Just because we are new don't mean we're pushovers!"

Fettel Marston: "We're here to make something of ourselves and losing the first match is not going to be an option!"

Fettel smirks and walks on towards the locker room leaving Brostar by himself.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

"Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers as smoke rises from the floor. Out from the smoke the figure of Marcus Troy, the general manager of United League of Lunatics emerges surrounded by security personnel. He makes his way to the ring in his signature three piece Armani suit and a cigar between his lips. He grabs a mic with one hand and raises it up to his lips as he takes the cigar out with the other one. Loud booing is clearly heard from the crowd. Marcus Troy holds indifferently waits for the crowd to quiet down before speaking.

Marcus Troy: "Ah yes, the same tired old song... Seriously you all should learn to change your tune."

More boos again echo throughout the stadium, again Marcus Troy waits patiently.

Marcus Troy: "I am out here tonight to address Mr. Connoly. Last week you destroyed expensive equipment, two weeks ago you assaulted me... I should have suspended your ass then but I'm feeling generous..."

Troy pauses and a grin spreads across his face...

Marcus Troy: "I am going to let you fight for your fate Connoly! Next week, you have been booked to fight Boy Bakla, to make it interesting I will be changing the match. Oh don't worry, you'll still be fighting Bakla, but you'll also be fighting Ray Kamaura and Leon Hinomoto in a gauntlet match."

The crowd seems stunned at the announcement.

Marcus Troy: "And if you should lose in even one of the matches, then you shall be suspended. If you manage to win, then you get to stay on the roster."

Marcus Troy laughs maniacally into the mic.

Marcus Troy: "Now concerning the main event, tonight you shall see your ULOL Primo Ultimo in action. That is correct Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing shall be defending his title against three of ULOL's top competitors, Chriso, Shadow Callahan and The British Hawk in a four-way scramble match! Whoever gets the final pin when the time expires will be the champion! As you can all see, with the boycott, opportunity has opened for the roster. An opportunity to carry the most prestigious belt in ULOL!"

Marcus then pauses for a few seconds before continuing.

Marcus Troy: "And finally, we have Shogun... Shogun who seems like he wants to get his hands on the current champion. Yet that is still in the air as we do not know of his standing... Is he still joining the boycott or has he come to his senses and finally decided to return back to action and FULFILL HIS JOB! Until that is settled Shogun is not facing Q."

Loud boos again emanate from the crowd. Marcus Troy drops the mic then exits the ring and heads to the back still surrounded by security as "Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers.

The music suddenly stops and the bodyguards surrounding Troy stop too. The fans go wild with cheers as the self proclaimed 'Unstoppable One' steps out from behind the curtain. He stops at the edge of the stage with a microphone in hand.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Is that it? Really Troy? Is that honestly all you have to say? Are you sure you haven't forgotten about one former Primo Ultimo Champion that hasn't cashed in his rematch clause. One former Primo Ultimo Champion that also got screwed by YOU?"

Jack edges a little closer the bodyguards stand ready to fend Jack off.

Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Ever since you've come back it's been all about you, Q and Nogun. Yeah, just you three. It's alright, just forget about the best god-damn wrestler in this business. Forget about the guy who is racking in all the money for this company with my merchandise sells."

Jack takes a few steps closer. He is literally towering over the bodyguard in front.

Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I'm the best wrestler you actually have left on the show Marcus. We are losing ratings. So I suggest you go back to the ring. Pick up that microphone and make a Primo Ultimo title match for next week. You know what don't worry. Use my mic."

UJJ rapidly thrusts the mic at Troy's chest. The security start to push him back. UJJ grins as he awaits a response from Marcus.

"Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F blares throughout the arena before Marcus Troy has a chance to respond to UJJ. Alexander Conway steps out from the backstage of the ULOL with a microphone in hand. He looks from UJJ, to the security guard, to another security guard, before finally looking at Marcus.

Alexander Conway: "You've got quite the entourage, Marcus. What? Q's not protecting the guy who's feeding his people? Well, you two were never really that close."

Alexander again directs his gaze to UJJ.

Alexander Conway: "UJJ, have you not been looking at the rating charts? Last week's ratings were off the chart thanks to my street fight. You want to know who deserves a title shot? It sure as Hell isn't you."

Alexander looks over at Marcus.

Alexander Conway: "Marcus, if there is anyone who didn't get his Primo Ultimo Championship rematch who deserves a title shot, it's me. But, unlike the stoppable one here, I'm not just going to ask that you make it happen. No, I'm asking that you let me earn the title shot. I'll take on this failure right here to earn my shot."

Alexander looks back to UJJ.

Alexander Conway: "If you were the best wrestler in the world, maybe you wouldn't have lost to Shogun in the first place? If you were the best wrestler in the world, you wouldn't have needed The Morbidly Obese Man to drag your ass to the tag titles. If you were the best wrestler in the world, then the only people who would be living in this world, would be Brostar and AJ, because they're the only men that your pathetic ass is better than. But, how about instead of you trying, and failing miserably, to make some witty little comeback, you just leave the arena? Because honestly, you are not impressing anyone by running around here and making false claims. You didn't even win the championship on your own! You only won it because of Q! I think the real reason that you want to face Q is because you're still upset that you couldn't defeat Zombie without his assistance."

Alexander waits for a moment before shaking his head and waving UJJ off.

Alexander Conway: "Forget about the failure's demands, do what you know is right, Marcus. Put me in a match with him, because I'll win, and he'll shut the Hell up."

"Sonne" by Rammstein begins playing over the speakers, once again preventing Marcus Troy from replying. William LaCroix walks out from the back. He has a microphone in hand and is looking a bit angry.

William LaCroix: "What is this? Joke day? First, you Marcus, came out here and decided to put Connoly against three different men, instead of just putting him against me! And then you went on to announce your Main Event for tonight, a bunch of undeserving losers fighting Q for the Primo Ultimo Championship! What has Callahan done to deserve the title shot? He murdered a man and mortally wounded another. What has Chriso done? Nothing, except for lose a bunch of matches and brawl with Zombie in a very boring fashion. What has The British Hawk done? Again, nothing. These were the most underserving set of chumps that you could have chosen, and yet, you chose them."

LaCroix points at UJJ.

William LaCroix: "And you, you are one of the biggest jokes in this entire business. You failed to win the title on your own, and you failed to keep it on your own. You don't deserve another chance, and I am appalled by your desire for one. You want to know why the ratings aren't very good? It's because I haven't been in the Main Event. If you and I were in a match, I would dominate you and leave you lying in a puddle of your own plasma."

LaCroix turns and points at Alexander.

William LaCroix: "Alexander, you don't deserve a shot at the Primo Ultimo Championship, either. You lost to The Morbidly Obese Man just last week. You can blame Brostar all you want, the fact is, you still lost."

Alexander seems to be saying something to LaCroix, but he isn't using his microphone, so it is inaudible to the viewers.

William LaCroix: "I don't care if the match wasn't sanctioned by the ULOL. You still asked for it, it was still aired, and you still lost. Deal with it."

William looks towards Marcus Troy once more, and walks towards him, only for the security to step into his way.

William LaCroix: "Troy, if you want to do what is right, then you will finally give me the shot that I, and I alone, deserve. I am undefeated in this company, and I am more talented than both of these two combined. So where's my shot, Troy? Or are you going to continue to hold me back?"

Marcus Troy certainly is not pleased with the events that just unfolded. Making sure that his security is on the alert, he asks for a mic and addresses the wrestlers.

Marcus Troy: "Everybody wants a title shot. So let me address each and everyone of you by the order you came out."

Marcus Troy turns at "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson...

Marcus Troy: "You speak of your rematch clause.... Yes you haven't cashed in your rematch clause, but then again so hasn't Shogun nor Conway... Tell you what, you shall fight Shogun in the PPV. The winner will get to cash in their rematch clause first. Of course this only happens if the boycott ends, if not, your rematch clause gets put on hold until you convince Shogun to return to active duty."

Marcus then turns his attention to Conway.

Marcus Troy: "I know you are irritated with Johnson here as much as I am, but let me handle him. You I'm sure you still have to prepare yourself with your match against Andrew Hunter in the PPV, a winner takes all match."

Marcus Troy lastly turns to William LaCroix.

Marcus Troy: "You, well you seem to be lonely for a match, so tell you what LaCroix, you'll be Connoly's partner next week, it is now a 3 on 2 handicap match! We'll talk again of title opportunities if and when you come out victorious next week. Now if all of you are done, I am a busy man."

The general manager throws the mic down and exits the area leaving the three wrestlers alone.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens on an unknown room. All the viewers can see is an entertainment center and a TV. Airing on the TV is last weeks ULOL Show. The camera zooms in and focuses on the TV.

Quote :: Nao Fook Mi: "The Morbidly Obese Man wins! He gets a win over Conway in a brutal match! The Morbidly Obese Man staggers back up to his feet... WHAT THE?!"

Little Wang: "A SEMI IS HEADING TOWARDS TMOM! OH MY GOD!!! THE SEMI HITS THE MORBIDLY OBESE MAN!!! TMOM IS A BROKEN MESS ON THE CONCRETE!"

Nao Fook Mi: "Wait, looks a the driver... IT'S ETHAN O'REILLY! What a cruel and cowardly thing to do! I think we hear sirens..."

Little Wang: "Looks like the cops are finally coming to the scene... Er... How will we explain this?"

Nao Fook Mi: "Marcus Troy has come out! The general manager of ULOL has come out..."

Little Wang: "Did he just shove a thick wad of cash at the police officers?! I can't believe it, the cops are leaving!!!"

Nao Fook Mi: "Troy just walked over to Ethan O'Reilly and shook his hand! Oh man, what a night... Someone call 911!"

Suddenly someone kicks the TV smashing the screen. All that the audience can see is a black leather boot with a stiletto heel smashed into the screen. "Map Of The Problematique" by Muse starts to play as the scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:22 pm

VS

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Brostar!"

"Show Goes On" by Lupe Fiasco plays as Brostar comes out and raises his hands as he walks down the ramp and runs into the ring, he goes up to the second turnbuckle raises his hands again, Then he jumps off with a backflip.

Jim Jackson: "Tonight, Brostar needs to win this match or he'll have to face The Lords of the Ring next week by himself."

Brad Blood: "If Brostar wouldn't have run off demanding a match with them, he wouldn't be in line for two ass-kickings. One tonight, and one next week."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, his opponent, Fettel Marston!

"The Devil's Own" by Five Finger Death Punch plays as Fettel Marston appears waving to the crowd. He walks down to the ring slapping fans' hands as he goes. He slides under the bottom rope to the enter the ring and proceeds to climb a turnbuckle where he poses by flexing his muscles. He walks over to another turnbuckle on the opposite side and this time poses by simply raising his arms in the air.

Jim Jackson: "We'll be getting our first look at Fettel Mar-"

Brad Blood: "What the hell is wrong with this guy? Everytime we see him, he's talking to himself!"

Jim Jackson: "The medical file stated that he has a split personality disorder. I wonder how that will come into play during this match?"

Brad Blood: "Hopefully it won't be a repeat of Fettel vs. Fettel's step dad."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And here we go! Brostar and Fettel advance towards one another, but Brostar stops as Fettel begins twitching."

Brad Blood: "What in the world....."

Jim Jackson: "It looks like it was a trick! Fettel kicks Brostar in the gut before whipping him into the ropes and catching him with a high dropkick! Fettel irish whips Brostar into the corner before following him in and catching him with a big clothesline! Brostar stumbles out as Fettel bounces off the ropes and hits him with another clothesline! Fettel goes for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Brostar managed to kick out. Fettel climbs onto the turnbuckle as Brostar gets to his feet. Fettel hits Brostar with a double axe handle!"

Jim Jackson: "Brostar crawls away from Fettel, who is in hot pursuit. As Fettel gets close to Brostar, Brostar manages to throw Fettel into the second turnbuckle pad! Brostar kicks Fettel's legs out from under him before crushing him with an elbow drop! Brostar tries for the pin."

Jack B. Nimble: "One..."

Brad Blood: "Fettel is quick to kick out. Brostar goes for the bodyslam, but Fettel grabs the ropes! Brostar tries to pull him off, but then decides to drop Fettel onto his knee! Bulldog from Brostar!"

Jim Jackson: "Brostar is climbing onto the turnbuckle. The crossbody catches nothing but canvas! Judging by Fettel's pose and the voice he is using, it looks like his "Dad" personality has taken over!"

Brad Blood: "Hold on a second, is that legal?"

Jim Jackson: "I'd assume so, it is, afterall, still Fettel Marston. Suplex from Marston! Marston grabs Brostar and slams his face into the turnbuckle pad! He keeps doing it over and over before finally slipping behind Brostar and slamming him to the mat with a big back suplex!"

Brad Blood: "It looks like "Dad" is telling his son to take the pin! Fettel drops down and covers Brostar!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Jim Jackson: "Brostar barely manages to kick out in time! Fettel climbs onto the turnbuckle, but before he can fly, Brostar pushes him off of the turnbuckle! Fettel landed on his head outside of the ring!"

Brad Blood: "Well, that sure isn't going to help any of Fettel's mental problems."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four!"

Jim Jackson: "Fettel begins to stir, much to Brostar's surprise! Brostar slides out of the ring and slams Fettel's face onto the ring apron before rolling him back into the ring and trying for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Fettel's foot finds the bottom rope just before the three count! Brostar begins stomping on Fettel, but after a few stomps, Fettel grabs Brostar's boot. Fettel gets back to his feet while maintaining his grip on Brostar's boot....oh no, Fettel's "Dad" is back."

Jim Jackson: "Marston pulls Brostar in and clotheslines him to the mat. As Brostar gets back up, he's taken down again with a dropkick! Brostar scrambles to his feet again and goes for a clothesline, but Marston ducks under it while grabbing Brostar around the waist. German Suplex from Marston!"

Brad Blood: "Marston picks Brostar up for a bodyslam, but Brostar is able to slide down his back and hit the neckbreaker! Marston gets back to his feet as if nothing happened. Brostar looks shocked, but kicks Marston in the gut. Brostar goes for a DDT, but Marston twists out of it and takes Brostar to the mat with a russian leg sweep!"

Jim Jackson: "Marston runs to the ropes before hitting Brostar with a shinning wizard! Instead of going for the pin however, it seems Marston is talking to himself."

Brad Blood: "Fettel's "Dad" is telling his son to go for the pin, but Fettel wants to go to the turnbuckle. The two personalities are arguing, Jim!"

Jim Jackson: "It looks like you are right, Brad. Fettel could have gotten the pin already, but his opportunity is slipping further and further away as he argues with himself."

Brad Blood: "Fettel finally agrees to go for the pin attempt, but Brostar reaches up and pulls Fettel into a small package! Brostar was playing possum!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, Brostar!"

Jim Jackson: "It looks like Brostar has won himself a tag team partner for next week!"

Brad Blood: "How in the world did that jobber manage to win? Is it a full moon?"

Jim Jackson: "Brostar extends a hand to Fettel, but before Fettel can shake it, Ethan O'Reilly slides into the ring and takes both men with a double clothesline! Ethan boots Fettel in the head and sends him tumbling out of the ring before jumping and catching Brostar with a reverse roundhouse kick!"

Brad Blood: "Ethan O'Reilly lifts Brostar onto his shoulders before twisting and slamming Brostar to the mat with a reverse thrown Death Valley Driver! The Excidio! Ethan slides out of the ring and kicks Marston in the rib before high-fiving Alexander Conway. It looks like The Lords of the Ring wanted to send Brostar and his new partner a message, and it looks like the message has been received."

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

The scene fades into The British Hawk and Lady Bianca de Sade's locker room. Tonight is the biggest night in their young careers. They seem to be watching the show as it happens. Lady B is sitting comfortably on TBH's lap. TBH then switches off the TV with the remote. He kisses Lady B on the cheek.

The British Hawk: "This is it baby, this night is the biggest of our careers. We become champions tonight. You will become the Queen of the women's division whilst I become the king of ULOL. I am so looking forward to it. How are you feeling?"

Lady B leans back so her head is resting on TBH's shoulder.

Lady Bianca de Sade: "Well to be honest babe. I'm not as excited as you are. I haven't technically won a match yet in the federation. Do you know how it feels to go in every week knowing that you are going to lose?"

TBH pats Lady B's behind gesturing for her to get up. Lady B does so and sits back down as TBH goes into his trademark hooded top.

Lady Bianca de Sade: "It's ok for you. You've been training for this much longer then I have. You were in the WHW Academy! Whilst I've been training for a few months. That and I'm just not naturally good at wrestling. I don't even think that there is any point of me going out there tonight."

TBH turns away from his hoodie. He pulls Lady B up from the seat and hugs her.

The British Hawk: "Hey. With that attitude it's no wonder you lose. You have to think positive babe. That was the first thing I learnt in the academy. Besides, I've only been training to be a wrestler for around 5-6 years. There's people here like Shogun or Connoly that have been wrestling for longer then we have been alive. Theoretically, they should be better than us. But that's not the case, it's all about how much you believe in yourself. How motivated you are."

TBH kisses Lady B again.

Lady Bianca de Sade: "Yeah well It's hard to feel motivated when you lose every week."

TBH smiles and reaches into his pocket.

The British Hawk: "Well I think I can fix that."

He pulls out a small square box and slowly falls to one knee. Lady B gasps and covers her mouth. TBH smiles as he opens the box which reveals a silver ring with a gem in the middle. TBH grasps Lady B's hand.

The British Hawk: "Miss Lady Bianca de Sade. We have been together for around about a year now. We've had our ups and we've had a big down. But that aside. I can honestly say that it's been the best year of my life. I honestly do not regret curiously walking through that VGM door back in WHW. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

Lady B cannot utter a word out. She is struck from surprise and happiness. Tears are flooding down her eyes. She nods quickly. TBH chuckles and places the ring on her ring finger on her left hand. He gets up and the two begin to make out again.. This is becoming a trend.. Anyway, the scene fades to black in a heart shape.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

Lex Lexington stands uncomfortably beside ULOL's transsexual superstar Boy Bakla who is seen eying the interviewer down.

Lex Lexington: "Good evening folks, we are here tonight with ULOL superstar Boy Bakla who has agreed to give us this interview. First of all, thank you for your time Mr. er... Ms. Bakla."

Boy Bakla traces a finger on Lex Lexington's chest and replies.

Boy Bakla: "The pleasure is all mine you hunkalicious stud package. So ask away."

Lex Lexington inches backwards as he asks his questions.

Lex Lexington: "So concerning the triangle match tonight for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino, what is your strategy for tonight?"

Bakla merely chuckles.

Boy Bakla: "We have a socialite and a feral child Lexy... I don't need a strategy to defeat those two. The combined experience of those two in the ring doesn't even reach 10% of the years I've spent in the ring, this title is as good as mine."

Lex Lexington takes back the mic and proceeds with the next question.

Lex Lexington: "How about Marcus Troy's announcement that you'll be facing Connoly next week in a gauntlet match with Ray Kamaura and Leon Hinomoto? "

Bakla's expression turns serious.

Boy Bakla: "Now Connoly is another matter. I've seen him do his thing in other federations. I know what he's capable of... It's a shame though that that delectable man-meat will be facing me next week, gauntlet match or not, I would have enjoyed spanking that tight ass of his. On my partners, the current tag champs? Well those boys are cute, it would be my pleasure to wrestle at their side... I've always found threesomes enjoyable... Of course there's always room for one more..."

Bakla winks at Lex Lexington who is clearly now out of his comfort zone.

Lex Lexington: "Uh... Thank you for you time Bakla, I still uh... Have other interviews to conduct, bye!"

Lex Lexington quickly escapes as Bakla licks it's lips. The scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

ZERO CALORIES!!!

ZERO SUGAR!!!

ZERO FAT!!!

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Dietwa10

Available in stores everywhere.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens in the backstage area where Lex Lexington is prepared to have an interview with Summer Bold and her client Gina “The Wild” Sheridan.

Lex Lexington: "Ladies and gentlemen, I am standing there with Summer Bold and her client Gina “The Wild” Sheridan. Gina how do you feel about this upcoming title match that you are going to participate?"

Summer interrupts and takes the microphone from the hand of Lex.

Summer Bold: "Lex I am the one who will ask questions and answer them. So get lost Lex."

Lex leaves.

Summer Bold: "What are you all are going to witness today is true destruction of Lady B and Boy Bakla. You see there is no other wrestler female nor male who can hold against my client. Well, I think actions speak louder than words so enjoy this match people."

Gina nods and follows her manager as the scene fades away.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:22 pm

The Camera opens to show a Black Limousine pulling up into the arena. The Driver exits the car and goes around to open the door. A man exits and holds out his hand to help a woman exit the limousine. They walk away from the limo as the driver closes the door. The Man has a smile on his face

The Man: "I'm back bitches!!"

The man and woman enters the arena as the camera fades to black.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

VS

VS

Brad Blood: “This match is a womens match! Woohoo!”

Jim Jackson: “It is indeed! But I think you may be disappointed Brad! Obviously you haven’t seen who is actually in this match!”

Brad Blood: “I know Lady Bianca is!”

Jim Jackson: “And she is up against Gina Sheridan!”

Brad Blood: “Ohhh. Well still …”

Jim Jackson: “In a triple threat match with Boy Bakla!”

Brad Blood: “………”

Jasmine Lee: “This match is scheduled as a triple threat for the ULOL Campeon no Masculino championship! Introducing first, Gina “The Wild” Sheridan!”

“Highway to Hell” by AC/DC starts to sound and Gina “The Wild” Sheridan accompanied with Summer Bold walks down the entrance ramp and enters the ring to little fanfare.

Jasmine Lee: “And her opponent, Lady Bianca De Sade!!”

'Rebirthing' by Skillet blasts over the arena as Lady Bianca de Sade comes out from the entrance tunnel. She walks down to the ring with The British Hawk following behind her. She waves to the fans as she enters the ring.

Jasmine Lee: “And their opponent, Boy Bakla!!”

Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to its fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to its corner waiting for the match to begin.

Jim Jackson: “And all three women wrestlers out here now! All ready to fight it out for the vacant championship title! Marcus Troy sanctioned this title match after he stripped Raven Connoly of the championship!”

Brad Blood: “Let’s just get this over with!”

Jasmine Lee: “The referee for this match, Don Q. Hotte!! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!!”

Jim Jackson: “All three women now pondering on the first move! Sheridan quickly explodes as she brings Lady B down with an elbow! Boy Bakla moves in on Lady B! But Gina Sheridan slams Bakla with a clothesline!”

Brad Blood: “Sheridan bringing knees down as they hit the midsection of the grounded Bakla! Lady B up to her feet now and she lunges for Gina Sheridan! Sheridan could see in the corner of her eye and immediately stops Lady B in her tracks! Gina Sheridan obviously had things in hand! Sheridan now with Lady B forced into the corner!”

Jim Jackson: “And Gina Sheridan with the slaps to Lady B’s chest! Lady B recoiling in pain and Sheridan takes this time to deal with Bakla! Boy Bakla slowly getting up but Sheridan bringing Bakla back to canvas as she deals a Shining Wizard out to the transsexual wrestler! Sheridan attempting a body splash but gets some knees to the midsection as Bakla brings its knees up to greet the falling Gina Sheridan!”

Brad Blood: “Bakla now to its feet and swaggers over to Lady Bianca! Lady B still in the corner! Bakla grabs Lady B and slams her with a nice bulldog! Bakla now turning its attention to Gina Sheridan! Firing right hands to Sheridan and now irish whips her to the ropes!”

Jim Jackson: “Sheridan bounces off the ropes and gets met by a hard clothesline from Bakla! Bakla has the shoulders down!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Tw…”

Jim Jackson: “And the first pin of the match is not even a two count! Bakla to its feet and continuing its offense on Gina Sheridan!”

Brad Blood: “Boy Bakla needs to work on Gina Sheridan! Gina Sheridan is a big brawler and has a lot of power! So Bakla continuing to concentrate on the more dangerous individual! Lady B now though slams Bakla with a nice spinning back kick!”

Jim Jackson: “But you can never count out Lady Bianca! And there is the proof! Lady Bianca now in control of this match! In these sorts of matches you expect to see some sort of double teaming. But in this match so far we have not seen any as of yet!”

Brad Blood: “Lady B twists Boy Bakla’s arm around and slams her elbow onto the twisted arm! Gina Sheridan now up and Lady B once again lunges for Sheridan but to no avail! As Sheridan grapples with Lady Bianca! Lady B firing some fists to the midsection of Sheridan trying her best to break free!”

Jim Jackson: “Gina Sheridan slowed down slightly but not enough as Sheridan slams Lady B with a Reverse DDT!! Lady Bianca laid flat out on the canvas! Sheridan with the shoulders down! We could have a new champion!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two!”

Jim Jackson: “The pin broken up by Boy Bakla!! So close there after a powerful DDT! Gina Sheridan not happy as she grabs Boy Bakla and throws Bakla head first onto the top turnbuckle belt!! Sheridan losing her temper as she continues to slam Bakla’s head onto that turnbuckle!”

Brad Blood: “Boy Bakla now draped over the turnbuckle. Gina Sheridan looks to the grounded Lady Bianca and decides to try the pinfall once again!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two!”

Jim Jackson: “Only a two as Lady B kicks out this time around! That attempted pin giving Bakla the time to recover! Gina Sheridan looking like she’s in control of this one as she brings Lady B to her feet! Bakla exploding out of the corner and slams an elbow to the back of Sheridan’s head!”

Brad Blood: “Lady Bianca taking advantage of that move and kicks Sheridan to the midsection! Bakla swiftly moves to stand by Lady B! But both decide to team up on Gina Sheridan instead of attacking each other!!”

Jim Jackson: “They each have Sheridan by the head and somehow with Amazonian strength lift Sheridan up and pull her over their heads as she slams on the canvas with a nice double suplex! And now the two women pull Gina Sheridan to her feet and they send her running to the ropes with a double irish whip! Sheridan bounds off the ropes and gets met by a double clothesline!!”

Brad Blood: “Boy Bakla and Lady Bianca really working well together here!”

Jim Jackson: “And so they have to! Gina Sheridan has previously dominated these two and now they have evened the playing field!”

Brad Blood: “Lady Bianca bringing Sheridan to her feet and looking to set up for another double team but Bakla slams a boot to Lady B’s face!! And now another boot to the face of Sheridan this time!”

Jim Jackson: “Bakla celebrating that deceit there! And Bakla now moving for Gina Sheridan! And Bakla brings a legdrop down onto Sheridan! Boy Bakla very much in control of this match up! Bakla now spots Lady B getting to her feet!”

Brad Blood: “Boy Bakla stomping those boots down onto Lady Bianca! Bakla now turning its attention to Gina Sheridan once again! Boy Bakla mounting Gina Sheridan and starts going for it with those massive slaps! Continues the onslaught and Sheridan not able to retaliate!”

Jim Jackson: “Wait a minute! Connoly is out here! He’s running to the ring! Bakla has finished with that Bitch Slap Symphony! It looks like Gina Sheridan is completely out of it and Bakla about to go for the pin but Connoly surprises Bakla from behind!”

Brad Blood: “CONNOLY WITH BAKLA ON HIS SHOULDERS!!! AND CONNOLY DEVASTATES BAKLA WITH THAT BELFAST SLAM!!!”

Jim Jackson: “Bakla being slammed head first onto the canvas from that!! I doubt Boy Bakla is going to be getting up anytime soon! Connoly vacates the ring and starts walking back up the ramp!! Pointing and shouting obscenities right into the camera! All directed of course to Marcus Troy”

Brad Blood: “Lady Bianca observes the devastation in the ring and decides to pin Boy Bakla!! Shoulders are down!!”

Don Q. Hotte: “One! Two!! Three!!!”

Jasmine Lee: “The winner of this matchup and the neeeeew ULOL Campeon no Masculino champion, Lady Biiiianca De Saaade!!!”

Jim Jackson: “And Lady Bianca takes advantage of the mess in the ring after Connoly makes his presence felt in this one! Lady Bianca celebrating her win and being crowned the new womens champion here in ULOL!”

Brad Blood: “Connoly continuing his boycott on Marcus Troy as he follows up with what he said earlier tonight!! And he prevents Boy Bakla from winning the title match!!”

Jim Jackson: “Connoly certainly the most problematic for Marcus Troy at the moment! What will happen next I wonder in this feud?”

Brad Blood: “Lady Bianca still celebrating, holding her championship title up high! The British Hawk now running out here and he immediately hugs Lady Bianca!! I fear though Boy Bakla will come back with a vengeance!!”

Jim Jackson: “But towards whom? Connoly was the one who attacked Bakla!! But you’re right in another way!! Will Bakla claim that it was screwed from a win? We shall just have to wait for next week!!!”

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

Yuki pulls his mask down and smirks in the locker room. A dummy broken on the ground. Yuki dusts his pant-leg off from wood remains from the dummy. He looks at the dummy on the ground.

Yuki Monotomo: "Let's see here. Super kick practice? Check. Regular kick practice? Check. White dragon hold practice?"

The blue-clad wrestler looks at a cloth and plastic dummy on the ground that has various places on it crushed in. He kicks it and it spins to hit the other dummy.

Yuki Monotomo: "Check. Black dragon hold practice? Check. All hold practice? Check. Alright. Time to win myself the gold I should've had the first time around. I'm going to have that belt around my waist and everyone will chant for me. The DWMA will be an unstoppable stable. After tonight, everyone will be referring to the Correa Grande Del Oro De Yuki Monotomo! Nobody's getting in the way of my title!"

Yuki Monotomo goes back to training on another dummy. The cameraman turns to leave. The scene fades to blackness as another dummy flies across the shot.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

Blue and Red lights shine throughout the arena as Edguy's "King of Fools" begins to play. The Man from the Limo, accompanied by the woman, walks out onto the entrance ramp to a thunderous roar of the crowd. He poses on the top of the ramp as white pyrotechnics begin to rain down behind him. He continues to walk down to the ring, smiling to the crowd. He high fives a few off the audience members before sliding into the ring. He holds the ropes open for the woman who enters the ring. He proceeds to grab a microphone and hands it to the woman before beginning to talk. The music fades

The Woman: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Please put your hands together for this man, the one, the only, Allister King!!"

The Crowd erupts with chants of ''King!''. The woman who not revealed to be Samantha collins hands the microphone to Allister

Allister King: "Hail to the King!!"

The crowd begins to get louder so much that it is hard to hear anything else. Allister signals to the crowd to be quiet

Allister King: "It's great to be back here in ULOL but I sense a lot of hostility the instant I walked into the backstage area. Now I have been nursing a quite a serious injury but for some reason it took about 2 weeks to heal. I mean I had my damn intestines pulled out and I used them to choke Callahan, so how did it heal in just over 2 weeks? Well I guess there is no point in complaining over spilled guts."

Allister smiles and points to the crowd who begin laughing

Allister King: "Oh where are my manners? Ladies and Gentlemen I would like to introduce to you at this my lovely, and unbelievably sexy new manager. And before you ask it's not Samantha Collins. This is my wife, Samantha King! I know right. What made her decide to change her name to King? I don't know and to be frank I don't care. She's Here, She's not queer but She does take it up the rear. Oh yeah!"

The Crowd laughs again

Allister King: "Now you all know that I am no longer your beloved general manager but that doesn't mean I can't still work here. I am not some Gaddafi wannabee wearing a mask, I am not some idiot thinking he's a super hero and I am definitely not some fat bastard eating people instead of wrestling.

The Crowd boos

Allister King: "But Tubby, we're cool brah. Hope ya get better soon."

The Crowd cheers again

Allister King: "I believe I might actually set my sights on winning some gold. I gave myself titles matches when I was GM but I didn't actually think I was going to win that was just drunken jibberish. But now everything has changed and I honestly believe that I can do it."

The Crowd cheers

Allister King: "Oh and to momentarily direct my attention towards Mr. Troy, or as I now refer to him as ''Bakla's boy Troy'', You might be shocked to notice this but during my reign as GM I sorta tampered with my contract a little. So ohhhhh yeah. Have fun! and remember to use the Vaseline, be a graceful lover and that means both of you."

Allister puts his arm around Samantha

Allister King: "Well that will do it from me. Have a great night here watching the show. Enjoy yourselves and one more thing, Hail to the King!!"

Allister drops the microphone as his music begins to play, he holds the ropes for Samantha to leave. They continue to leave to the backstage area as the camera fades to black

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

We find in front of the camera a masked man whose costumed features are recognized the world over. He is none other than the disguised daredevil of the wrestling world.

He is the man known across the continents as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello! I am Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing! And I bring you an important message! I am a superstar athlete and celebrity! But much of my journey would not have been possible, had I not given my education the attention it deserves! This is important! For illiteracy can make things very difficult for anyone who wants to get to the top! Like my friend!"

'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson: "You're not the face of this company Q. This whole legion of loyal fans is bullshit. You have no legion. These fans aren't apart of your legion. The other fans across the globe aren't apart of your legion. The only people that are members of this crap are living on soil and occasional supplies on a little bit of land."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It saddens me that a native English speaker can be careless that he trips up on his homeland's tongue! While those such as I have had to toil to get to where we are! Only to see such big names as the UJJ struggle with their illiteracy! And send the wrong message! This is why he is always unstoppable in having someone else do the work for him! Every time! All the time! So my fans! Set yourself APART from illiteracy! Or be A PART of it! Work on your education! So one day you can be a winner! Don't! And you can turn out like!"

The following appears beneath the image of Jack Johnson:

A public message by Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing, the ULOL, and the British Council.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:23 pm

In the locker room, Musashi sits on a bench, meditating. Once again, he allows himself to drift into the world of clouds and mountaintops, where Master Go awaits his arrival.

Musashi Kuruma: "Master Go, many things have happened since the last time we spoke. I fought a demon, got beat up by some newcomers, shot in the leg, and now I have to fight someone whose partner got busted open by produce. My life here is very eventful, but I still have yet to find my path to Buddha again."

Master Go strokes his beard.

Master Go: "Musashi, you are trying too hard. Do not think about it, just let it happen. You will find it again when you are ready."

Musashi Kuruma: "It sounds so simple, yet is so difficult. How will I know I am ready?"

Master Go: "If I tell you, then you will see false signs in everything. Just trust that you will know when the time is right. Now, I believe you have a match to win."

Musashi Kuruma: "Yes, Master Go. Thank you, I will do my best."

Suddenly, Musashi finds himself back in the locker room. Seeing that it is almost time for his match against Yuki for the Correa Grande, he gets up and heads for the stadium. If Master Go believes he can win this match, then there's no way he can lose!

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

The scene fades into a hospital ward. A young female nurse is moving about a large bed, held together by machines. The camera then pans to the door and we see ULOL wrestler and SAT group leader, AJ, walk through. He scans the room and shudders at the sight of sick people. He then notices the machinery and walks over. He frowns as the person lying on the bed is none other than The Morbidly Obese Man. The nurse stands next to AJ.

Nurse: "Don't worry, his enormous quantity of fat absorbed most of the collision. He only has minor injuries. Nothing serious. He'll be back up and wrestling in no time."

AJ puts on a weak smile. The nurse taps him on the shoulder and leaves the scene. AJ walks beside TMOM.

AJ: "I should have never agreed to let you fight in this match. It was too dangerous. I should have known that Congay would have brought his goon. I should have been there to back you up! This is all my fault. I'm a poor excuse for a leader."

AJ gets on his knees and sobs onto the bed. The bed then slowly moves as AJ looks up. TMOM has awakened.

The massive wrestler also known as The Morbidly Obese Man looks at the sobbing wrestler at his bedside. He notices that the blanket that is barely covering him is already soaked in tears.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "What the fuck?! Great I wake up and the first thing I see is not a cute nurse in a sexy uniform but this sobbing idiot."

The big man sits up...

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Listen you twat, there is nothing wrong with me, I'll be back in action once I get out of here which will be in two weeks or so. Now stop being a girl and get the hell out of here."

The big man bonks AJ on the back of the head.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "What did I do to deserve this?"

The Morbidly Obese Man sighs heavily as the scene fades to black with AJ's sobbing in the background.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens inside of The Lords of the Ring's locker room, where Ethan is watching Shaun of the Dead while Alexander is looking through some mail. As Alexander notices the camera, he motions for the cameraman to come closer in order to maximize the volume of his own voice while minimizing the volume of the movie.

Alexander Conway: "So last week, I lost my match. Big deal. The thing about a street fight is that there are no rules. If I fight someone in the street, I don't go for pinfalls, I go for the kill. So while TMOM won a nonsanctioned match, which basically means it never happened, I won the war. At the end of the street fight, I think it was very apparent that The Morbidly Obese Man wasn't going to be getting up for a very long time."

Alexander looks up and into the camera.

Alexander Conway: "Hey, TMOM, when you get the chance, could you tell me how your broken nose feels? Or your broken arm? Or maybe you could tell me how it feels to have a broken body?"

Alexander chuckles as he goes back to his mail. He picks up an official looking envelope. On it, the initials "ULOL" can be seen on one corner. Alexander eyes the envelope with an obvious interest before setting it down.

Alexander Conway: "You know, I could have finished off that giant joke of a wrestler, if it wasn't for an even bigger joke coming out and bothering me. If Brostar hadn't come out last week and gotten involved with my business, then TMOM would never have defeated me. I would have won, and then proceeded to cripple him, but no! Blowstar, the failure that he is, just couldn't keep his hands out of the cookie jar. But, it's not just his fault for being a failure, it's also the fault of...."

Alexander gives Ethan a stern look.

Alexander Conway: "Ethan O'Reilly."

Ethan looks up at the sound of his name. Seeing the look Alexander is giving him, Ethan pauses the movie.

Ethan O'Reilly: "What?"

Alexander Conway: "I gave you one simple task last week, and what did you do? Fail miserably. I told you to make sure that no one came out and interfered in my business, and yet, you let Brostar do it not just once, but twice!"

Ethan looks a bit annoyed, but he holds up a hand to try and calm Alexander down.

Ethan O'Reilly: "Woah, chill out. I admit that I wasn't paying much attention, but that's because I was speaking to Marcus Troy about getting us the contents of that envelope you just set down. The second time he interfered....well, I was too interested in this hot asian chick that was watching the fight. You know, I think she works here...."

Ethan notices the look Alexander is giving him, and stops thinking about Nao Fook Mi.

Ethan O'Reilly: "But anyway, what does it matter if The Morbidly Obese Man defeated you in a non-sanctioned street fight? He had help, he couldn't defeat you if the terms were even. And you know what else is incredibly sad? Brostar helped him, and yet his little boycott bitches are crying about how I interfered. I should have interfered after Brostar did, then that fat sack of crap wouldn't be able to say a word about defeating you. Although, if he does, you'll just whip his ass in an official match anyway."

Ethan still sees the look Alexander is giving him, and decides to stop being a suck-up.

Ethan O'Reilly: "Ok, look, I though I screwed up, but I did wait to do anything until after the fight. You said that I couldn't get involved, so really, the loss is your fault. Afterword, I realized that we wouldn't be getting paid because you screwed up, so I hijacked a truck and ran the bastard over with it."

Alexander is still giving Ethan the same look, so Ethan decides to again change tactics.

Ethan O'Reilly: "Screw Brostar, we get to crush him in a match here soon anyway. Really, he's the biggest idiot in the locker room, this match would be over almost as quickly as your match with him if we weren't going to make him pay. That jobber is the worst wrestler in the federation, ANYONE could beat him. It's actually kind of embarrassing that we have to fight him. It's even more embarrassing that he actually thinks he can win."

Ethan claps his hands before pointing at Alexander.

Ethan O'Reilly: "Oh! Do you see his promos? My God! He can barely speak! It's a wonder that Troy still allows him to trip over his own tongue on the air. He's almost as bad on the mic as he is in the ring, and that's saying something!"

Ethan begins laughing before noticing that Alexander is still giving him the same look. Ethan sighs before punching the couch.

Ethan O'Reilly: "Damn it, Alex! What in the Hell do you want me to say?"

Alexander shrugs his shoulders.

Alexander Conway: "Nothing in particular, I just like to see how many different things you will try before finally giving up."

Ethan rolls his eyes as Alexander continues.

Alexander Conway: "You did say something right though; screw Brostar. We don't need to worry about him until our match with him, which will be another easy win."

Alexander pick up his envelope from the ULOL and slowly opens it. He reaches inside of it and pulls out a check. However, Alexander looks a bit disappointed with the number he sees on the check.

Alexander Conway: "What we need to be focusing on, Ethan, is winning titles. For whatever reason, I haven't been given any sort of opportunity since winning the Ligero. Instead, losers like Shadow Callahan, Chriso, and The British Hawk are the ones who are getting the opportunities. If I was given a shot at the Primo Ultimo Championship, I'd win it! Or if we were given a shot at the Campeónes Compañero, we would win it! But, instead of any of this happening, we're stuck here, just talking about it while other guys are actually getting the chance."

Alexander stops and thinks for a few seconds before getting out of the chair he has been sitting in.

Alexander Conway: "You know what? I'm going to change that. I'm going to go out to that ring and I'm going to challenge a certain someone for a possession that he does not deserve. So, why don't you put your movie on hold and watch the show, because very soon Alexander will be the one who is holding all of the cards."

Alexander walks out of the locker room, leaving Ethan alone in the room.

Ethan watches as Alexander leaves the room. He waits a few seconds to make sure Alexander is out of hearing distance before giving a nod to the cameraman. As the cameraman sits down on the coach, Ethan offers him some popcorn as he unpauses Shaun of the Dead.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

Have you always wanted a pet but cannot afford one?

Have you always wanted a pet but is afraid that it'll destroy the furniture?

Have you always wanted a pet but do not have the time to feed and walk it?

WELL TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY!

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Freeca10

HERE AT FREE CAT INC. WE WILL SOLVE ALL THOSE PESKY LITTLE ISSUES YOU HAVE! OWN A PET NOW HASSLE FREE! NO NEED TO FEED IT, NO NEED TO WALK IT! NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING! SO CALL NOW AT 1-800-FREE-CAT! AND WE'LL DELIVER YOUR VERY OWN FREE CAT RIGHT TO YOUR DOORSTEP FOR FREE!!!

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

"Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F blares throughout the arena as Alexander Conway steps out from the backstage of the ULOL. He walks towards the ring before getting a microphone and sliding into the ring.

Alexander Conway: "We were told, when the Boleto Dorado was originally introduced, that we could challenge the holder of that ticket at anytime. Well, since Andrew Hunter has neglected to make use of his ticket, I am going to make use of this stipulation."

Alexander looks towards the backstage of the ULOL.

Alexander Conway: "So, Andrew Hunter, I am issuing a challenge for your ticket at the next Pay Per View that's held by the United League of Lunatics. You vs. me, in a winner takes all match. I'll put the ULOL Ligero Maximo Championship, which I...once again, neglected to bring with me, against your Boleto Dorado. What do you say? You'll have the chance to walk out of the Pay Per View as the champion of the lightweights and with a ticket to become the second double champion in ULOL history. Although, your double championship reign, if you can defeat me, will actually be important, because one of your titles won't be meant for just one gender or for a division that only contains six people. The rewards, Hunter, outweigh the risk."

Alexander lowers his microphone as he waits to see if Hunter will come out and accept his offer.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

The crowd seems to become less patient and more anxious with each passing second, about 20 if you're counting.

Suddenly, "New Divide" by Linkin Park blasts throughout the arena. Andrew Hunter appears under the titan tron, wearing blue jeans, a white t-shirt with the words "Boleto Dorado" typed on in bold, gold letters, his favorited brown jacket. He's holding a mic in one hand, and in the other, which he raises for everyone to see, is his golden Boleto Dorado. Andrew looks down at Alexander Conway and lets out a small grin. He procedes to make his way down the ramp, slapping the hands or his fans on the right, the the left. He stops in front of the ring before sliding in under the ropes. He pops up, shooting both of his arms straight up, earning himself a large pop from the audience. He lowers his arms, which proves pointless because he raises the mich back to his lips, and directs a burning gaze at Alexander.

Andrew Hunter: "I guess this is what I get for saving this ticket and, say, not cashing it in on you last week, when you were pretty damn hurt from your brawl with TMOM. Oh well, not like it matters. After all, if I did it then, I wouldn't have an easy shot at becoming double champion. But, does the risk really get outweighed by the reward, or are you just saying that to get me to fight you. Let's see...

Andrew: If I say no, I still have this ticket available any time and anywhere I want it. It's an almost guaranteed title around my waist, along with six months means that I'd not even be in a rush. While, on the other hand, if I accept... I get the chance to beat the guy who stole my first win here in ULOL, (yes, I'm still bitter), away from me. Combine that with the fact that I'm just plain stupid when it comes to taking chances... Of course I accept."

Andrew lowers the mic and raises the Boleto Dorado, when suddenly, he drops it inbetween himself and Conway (symbolic, right?). He extends his hand, keeping it right over the golden ticket as he waits for Conway's next action.

Alexander looks down at the Boleto Dorado before looking back up and sneering at Andrew Hunter.

Alexander Conway: "You've just made a big mistake, thanks for setting me up for an easy victory and a guaranteed title shot."

Alexander grabs Hunter's hand and pulls him close.

Alexander Conway: "Enjoy the Boleto Dorado while you have it, because it will soon become mine! You have chance or hope of defeating me, you fool!"

Alexander pushes Hunter back before walking past him and exiting the ring. Alexander turns to look at Hunter while he is walking up the ramp. Alexander cuts his own throat with his thumb before turning and disappearing into the backstage of the ULOL.

Andrew Hunter keeps his stare at Alexander Conway, even as the only sight left to see his his tight posterior. Andrew shakes his head and bends down to pick up his ticket. He puts the ticket back into his jacket, and begins making his way backstage as well. However, half way up the ramp he turns back around and enters the ring again. He picks his mic back up and raises it to his lips.

Andrew Hunter: "Last words! In your face!"

Hunter again drops the mic, exits the ring, and makes his way backstage.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:23 pm

The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura walks slowly to the start of the ramp. Ray starts to walk down the to the ring.

Ray Kamaura: "Holy shit! Marcus is back! But we all saw that coming, or at least I did. See, it should have been a day filled with parties and dancing. Just one big celebration! I mean it was the day that a real GM came back to the ULOL and we got to rid ourselves of that Irish drunkard, Allister King. But wait, he's back now. But, I'll get to that later."

Ray walks up to the ring and spots a fan holding a sign that says. "DWMA: DICKS WITH MARCUS'S ARMY!" Ray reaches over and grabs the sign before walking into the ring.

Ray Kamaura: "This sign is no doubt a gimmick from the TWATS! It is sad that Marcus Troy's return was spoiled by a Tub of man meat and his gang of TWATS! TMOM, Raven, Shogun and his darkness, an undead prick, a midget, UJJ, and the rest of the TWATS, need to get with the program. TMOM got what was coming to him. Soon I will get the chance to beat the father of the TWATS very own, Raven Connoly."

Ray rips the sign and throws it back to the fan.

Ray Kamaura: "Allister is back and he is pulling a Taufik! Yes, that's right, he is new and improved! Much different that last time, HE'S SOBER! It's a scary thought, but nevertheless, he will fail like Taufik!"

Ray Kamaura scoofs at the idea of Alister returning. He pulls a small bottle of Whisky out of his pocket and holds it up.

Ray Kamaura: "To the TWATS!"

Ray tippes the bottle up and downs the whole thing. He then tosses it into the crowd, who BOO him loudly.

Ray Kamaura: "On second thought, I don't think that I'm going to continue this promo. You people don't deserve it. I am a champion, and yet all I get are boos? Well then YOU don't deserve to hear my words!"

Ray drops the mic and hops out of the ring. His music starts playing.

Ray Kamaura: "CUT THE DAMN MUSIC! THESE FOOLS DON'T DESERVE TO HEAR IT!"

Ray leaves the arena.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

VS

Jim Jackson: "Well here we are, a match for the Correa Grande Del Oro title which was stripped off Raven Connoly. Tonight we have two men who have tried to win this title previously."

Brad Blood: "Well then tonight is their lucky night, or at least for one of them."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a singles match scheduled for one fall and is for the Correa Grande Del Oro! Introducing first, Musashi Kuruma!"

Dragon by JAM Project plays as footage from an old Japanese anime runs on the Titan Tron, the lights go dim, and fog covers the stage. Once the music starts to become more lively, the lights return to their normal brightness and Musashi runs enthusiastically to the ring through the fog, followed by a line of fireworks down both sides of the ramp, attempting (but failing miserably) to jump onto the mat through the ropes. Once he's disentangled himself, he goes (much more calmly this time) to his corner and offers up a quick prayer to Buddha.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Yuki Monotomo!"

"Welcome to the Club Now" by Manian plays for a dimly lighted stage. The lights begin to flash with the beat as Yuki Monotomo walks to the stage, taking time to flirt with the ladies.

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "You can see the fire in the eyes of both wrestlers. Both hungry for the title that eluded them."

Brad Blood: "They should thank Marcus Troy then, our benevolent GM who made the belt available! And there's the bell!"

Jim Jackson: "And it's Musashi Kuruma who gets the first strike in. He lands chop after chop after chop lighting up Yuki Monotomo! Monotomo takes a back suplex and lands hard into the canvas."

Brad Blood: "Monotomo quickly gets back up to his feet. Both men are good technical wrestlers but it seems Musashi Kuruma has the edge on Monotomo tonight. Kuruma goes for a hip toss... Oh! Monotomo manages to block the attempt!"

Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo reverses a hip toss. Monotomo hits a back kick sending Kuruma staggering... Irish whip by Monotomo! Monotomo whips Kuruma into the turnbuckles...and the referee gets sandwiched!"

Brad Blood: "Sandwiched is an understatement, Kuruma pancaked him! Oh man the ref is totally out! Slingshot clothesline by Monotomo. Monotomo goes high risk... He hits an awkward looking splash! Pinfall attempt, but the referee is out. Bad break for Monotomo!"

Jim Jackson: "Musashi Kuruma somehow staggers to his feet while Monotomo is trying to wake the referee. Monotomo realizes that Kuruma is up! Kuruma throws a huge right, blocked by Monotomo who tries to counter with a hip toss... Blocked by Kuruma! Musashi Kuruma reverses the hip toss. Gut buster, Monotomo hits hard."

Brad Blood: "Sandwiched is an understatement, Kuruma pancaked him! Oh man the ref is totally out! Slingshot clothesline by Monotomo. Monotomo goes high risk... He hits an awkward looking splash! Pinfall attempt, but the referee is out. Bad break for Monotomo! Musashi Kuruma scores with a face jam. Cover!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Monotomo kicks out at two! He tries to swing at Musashi Kuruma who sidesteps and grabs Monotomo from behind. Monotomo hits a few elbows sending Kuruma staggering back. Monotomo tries a Russian leg sweep... Blocked by Kuruma. Kuruma tries and uranage... Monotomo blocks the attempt and tries to counter with an arm drag... No! Blocked again by Kuruma!"

Brad Blood: "C'mon someone break this endless blocking cycle! Oh wait! Musashi Kuruma with a reverse suplex. Pin!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Monotomo gets a shoulder up just before the count of three! Musashi Kuruma gets taken down out of nowhere. Monotomo hits a high kick on Musashi Kuruma. Cover!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Kuruma gets out of it! Monotomo picks Kuruma up, look at Monotomo strain trying to keep Musashi Kuruma up on his shoulders... Kuruma slips free! He pulls a mule kick out of nowhere! Oh that has got to hurt...

Jim Jackson: "Musashi Kuruma moves in for the kill. Musashi Kuruma picks his opponent up over his head, spins in place, and tosses them onto the mat executing a Daisetsuzan Oroshi! Kuruma for the pin!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall and NEW Correa Grande Del Oro de Musashi Kuruma, Musashi Kuruma!"

Jim Jackson: "Musashi Kuruma wins and finally gets the Correa Grande Del Oro title! What a match!"

Brad Blood: "Wait, it's Ray Kamaura and Leon Hinomoto! They enter the ring and blindsides Musashi Kuruma! The DWMA are beating down on the newly crowned Correa Grande Del Oro..."

Jim Jackson: "Getter Team has entered the ring! Ryoma Ichimonji and Hayato Tachibana charges in and attacks The DWMA! We have a three on three brawl on our hands! This is crazy! Somebody stop them!"

"Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers as smoke rises from the floor. Out from the smoke the figure of Marcus Troy, the general manager of United League of Lunatics emerges surrounded by security personnel. He stops at the top of the entrance ramp with a mic on his hand.

Marcus Troy: "All of you hold it! I have enough trouble already with the boycott and this ain't helping."

The wrestlers stop fighting and stops to look at the general manager of ULOL.

Marcus Troy: "That's better. Now if you all want to get at each others' necks so badly, I have the perfect solution. This coming PPV, "Ay Caramba!" we shall have all three members of The DWMA going against all three members of Team Getter in a three on three tag team winner takes all match! That's right, who ever wins the three on three tag match shall take not only the Correa Grande del Oro title but also the ULOL Campeónes Compañero! So until the PPV, both teams shall not lay a hand on each other!"

With that the general manager leaves the ringside as the six wrestlers looks stupefied at the announcement.

Jim Jackson: "What a twist! What a twist!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man, Marcus Troy is genius! He just made this PPV a helluva lot more exciting! I can't wait to see who wins all the titles!"

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

Jim Rival knocks on the door of Marcus Troy before walking inside, a newly lit cigarette between his lips as he made his way over to one of the chairs of Mister Troy and sat down in a leisurely way. He gave a smile to him, the smoke trail slowly streaming up his face before leaning back forward in the chair and finally addressing him.

Jim Rival: Mister Troy, I am sorry if I barge in here in a sudden manner. I just have some...thoughts and ideas come into mind I would like to let you know about.

After speaking he took a deep inhale off the cigarette, using his left hand to pick it from his lips and tap the ashes onto his right palm in a respectful manner not to dirty his office. He exhaled the smoke through his nose as he looked to the ashes and slowly drew a small pattern with them. His eyes finally moving back up to Marcus as he spoke, whatever smoke left in his lungs coming out as he spoke.

Jim Rival: First issue involves the Connoly girl. I like to recommend her having whatever titles she had strip from her given back, and hear me out to the reason why.

Jim held up his hand with the small ash drawing, a highly detailed stick figure. He gave a small chuckle as he placed the cigarette back between his lips to burn idly.

Jim Rival: When people get stripped of something, it gives them more passion to fight. Making it all that much harder to snuff out the flame inside of them. However if you were to take it from them in the honorable fashion, like the ring for example, it kills the flame. Taking away the will to fight. The empty glass of themselves will shatter within.

As Jim spoke he closed his palm when he spoke about killing the flame, and once he completely finished he reopened his palm exposing the smeared and deformed drawing with a frigid smile on his face.

Jim Rival: From there we can do what we will with the person with little to no resistance. The freedom to pull their strings and have them move in anyway in which we so desired. So what do you think...

The general manager of ULOL looks at Jim Rival and replies.

Marcus Troy: "I appreciate your concern Mr. Rival but my decision stands, based on the by-laws of ULOL a champion who is unable to defend his or her titles shall be stripped of them. Unfortunately for Ms. Connoly, joining the boycott makes her unable to defend her titles. If and when she comes back to active duty, then I shall allow her to again try and regain her titles. Now I'm sorry to keep this discussion short Mr. Rival but I am a busy man, I'm sure you know where the door is."

Marcus Troy dismisses Jim Rival as the scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens to show a door, lightly cracked as always within wrestling industries, with a gold star labeled "AAA". The cameraman pushes the door, which slides smoothly, open to show Andrew Hunter sitting down on a bench, which all locker rooms seem to have. Bain, on the other hand, is not seen within the room. Maybe he left through one of the three other doors? What? You didn't even notice thoughs? Well, has "Restroom" written above, the other has "Gym", and the last one isn't even labeled... seriously though, you need to start paying more attention to what you see. Like how Andrew has his eyes closed and likely didn't even see the camera. Bet you didn't even notice that?

Andrew Hunter: "I actually did notice you walk in, so don't listen to him."

... Well damn.

Andrew Hunter: "I've been waiting for Bain ever since my little encounter with Conway."

He opens his eyes and looks directly at the camera.

Andrew Hunter: "He's probably out looking for me, either that or he wasn't even watching. Regardless, he'll probably walk in now that the camera's on. That's how it usually goes, eh? Well hey, while we're waiting, I might as well start with a camera time promo. You see, when I first won this Golden ticket, which the black voice probably failed to mention is resting next to me on the bench...,"

Damn!

Andrew Hunter: "I decided that I'd not risk losing the ticket and simply decline any challenge made. Mainly because or how little I've accomplished in my career is effected by how many stupid risks I've taken. Be it something to prove, or be it double or nothing... I've always lost my chance to win. Yeah, no title reigns anywhere in America. Sad, right? But I decided not this time! I'd pick up a title!But... I accepted Alexander Conway's challenge. I walked out there fully planning to decline, but somewhere in my gut, and against my conscious, I still accepted... Hey, don't judge me. Nobody's mind works like mine."

Andrew lets out a sigh.

Andrew Hunter: "Yeah... I'm hoping Bain will say that he'd have done the exact same thing... that would perk my spirits up."

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

The Camera Shows Shadow Callahan walking down the hallway.

Shadow Callahan: :Well look who it is."

Allister King walks into the view of the camera and walks straight up to Callahan

Allister King: "You surprised?"

Shadow grins

Shadow Callahan: "Not at all. Actually I'm surprised you decided to come back so late."

Allister King: "What can I say? I have more brains that guts it seems."

Allister lifts up his shirt to show a large scar across his stomach

Allister King: "A little thing like this ain't going to stop me and you should know that."

Shadow Callahan: "After what I did to you, you should be died and buried in the ground. But look at you, I can't end you it seems. And for that I respect you."

Shadow extends his hand

Allister King: "Well at least I have the most kick-ass scar out of any one in ULOL."

Allister shakes Callahan's hand

Shadow Callahan: "Now I have to get ready for my title match."

Allister King: "You got a title match? I must have hit my head harder than i thought. Anyways good luck you're going to need it."

Shadow walks away

Samantha King: "Are you really going to trust him?"

Allister King: "It's a mutual respect."

Samantha King: "You should just leave now before you do something stupid."

Allister and Samantha walk away as the camera fades to black.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:24 pm

"Shut Me Up" by Mindless Self Indulgence erupts over the arena speakers. After a few moments Connoly walks out onto the stage, he is wearing a green plaid kilt, white t-shirt, and a long black leather coat. Connoly throws his arms out to his sides as fireworks go off behind him. Connoly makes his way down the ramp and walks towards the announce table, several of the stage hands noticeable cringe and step back. Connoly laughs as he grabs a mic of the announce table and climbs into the ring.

Connoly: "Well, it looks like I've finally gotten the attention of Mr. Troy. He walked out here earlier tonight with his army of security guards further confirming that he is a giant vagina and announced he has changed my match next week. Now in case you missed it Mr. Scumbag announced that next week not only will I have a match against Boy Bakla, but I will also be fighting Ray Kamaura and Leon Hinomoto in a gauntlet match. That's not all folks, if I loose I will be suspended from ULOL!"

Connoly pauses as the crowd erupts in a mix of cheers and boos.

Connoly: "OHHHHHHH! Wow you really let me have it Troy, you taught me a lesson for sure. At least now I actually have a challenge next week, I may actually have to put forth a little effort to win this match."
"Now, this brings me to another point, because one of my opponents next week is Boy Bakla, who happens to have a match tonight for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino, there is also a match tonight for the Correa Grande Del Oro title. Now I would just like to remind all of the competitors in those matches tonight that if you win your matches tonight and become the new champions, just remember the belt you'll be wearing is a joke because the former holder of both of those belts was never beaten. Troy decided to try and show how big his balls are and stripped the former title holder of them. As far as I'm concerned, Raven is still the true holder of both of those belts, and she may not be here right now, but I sure as hell am, so let me just say that everyone better watch there backs tonight in those title matches, because you never know what might happen."

Connoly pauses as the crowd starts to cheer at Connoly's words.

Connoly: "Which brings me to my final point, and that is this boycott. I think we all saw last week how well that boycott is working after what happened to TMOM. Now I can appreciate the cause, but your loosing this war and Troy could care less if your here or not because he is still getting all the footage he needs to keep the fans. My point is that its always easier to destroy something from within then to attack it from the outside. Now if you want to keep this boycott up, stay out there sitting on your asses in your hippie love in, that's your choice, but I think it's a much better idea to come back and take this punk Marcus and his damn goons out on his own grounds."

Connoly drops the mic, he rolls out of the ring and makes his way up the ramp.

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

VS

VS

VS

Jim Jackson: "Tonight is Q's first title defense, after Marcus Troy made a surprise announcement removing all non-title matches, Q shall defend his ULOL Primo Ultimo title against three of ULOL's superstars."

Brad Blood: "It's a genius move I tell you, he just made the title scene more competitive. With that announcement, champions should always make sure they are in tip top shape."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is four-way championship scramble! Introducing first, he's your current and reigning ULOL Primo Ultimo, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Nu-metal music begins to play as a highlight reel of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing runs on the ULOLTron. A horde of reporters and photographers gather at the stage entrance, taking pictures and giving a blow by blow of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's every move as he steps out for his match. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing waves to the fans as he slowly makes his way to the ring.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, the first challenger, Chriso!"

Tubular Hell Music starts playing. Smoke comes down the ramp with lights dimmed. Chriso stands on turnbuckle closest to ramp as flame explode from ramp behind.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the next challenger, Shadow Callahan!"

Hurt's "Rapture" begins to blast through the PA system. A blinding light and smoke covers the entrance. Shadow Callahan makes his way out wearing a white expressionless mask and carrying the harbinger. He looks up to the skies and raises his arms as 2 flaming crucifixes appear. He walks down to the ring with his head down. He enters the ring, stands motionless in the centre of the ring with one hand covering the mask. He takes the mask off and lets out a primal scream. He looks around him before walking over to the corner.

Jasmine Lee: "And finally introducing the last challenger, The British Hawk!"

"Rebirthing" by Skillet starts to play over the arena. The fans start to cheer loudly as The British Hawk rises from beneath he stage via a lift underneath the stage. He is wearing his ususal wrestling attire and with a black hooded jacket with the hood up. He walks off the lift and raises his arms up triggering stage pyros to go off. He walks down to the ramp and enters the ring. He climbs onto a turnbuckle and removes his hood and taunts to the fans who cheer loudly.

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "This match will go on for thirty minutes, whoever gets the last pinfall at the end of the time limit becomes our new champ! That means we will probably see multiple pinfalls tonight. And there's the bell!"

Brad Blood: "Oh! Smart move! Right off the bat, the three challengers go after the champion. Q is being cornered by all three men! Chriso lands some hard shots, Callahan joins in with a series of chops while TBH shows us some lightning kicks."

Jim Jackson: "Q is trapped in the corner with nowhere to go... Wait! In the chaos of the flurries, Q just crawled out from between Shadow Callahan's legs and makes his way non-nonchalantly to the other corner where he sits and waits..."

Brad Blood: "But if Q got out of that one... Who the hell is getting beaten in the corner? Wait! The dust is clearing and... IT'S CHRISO!!! Somehow Q switched his place with Chriso and scampered out! Chriso doesn't look too good. Shadow Callahan shrugs his shoulders, picks Chriso up and slams him down with a fireman carry!"

Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk off the second rope... Corkscrew legdrop! TBH really has a great aerial attacks... TBH gets back up to his feet. Callahan almost decapitates him with a standing lariat! Shadow Callahan turns around... SPEAR BY QUIOAECAOPEDIDWAZHAPZHING! Q for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Kick out by Callahan! Chriso grabs Q from behind, he tries a vertical suplex... The champ slips out of his grasp and lands behind him! Q shoves him towards Callahan... Callahan with a back suplex plants Chriso to the canvas!"

Jim Jackson: "Shadow Callahan is about to charge towards Q, Q holds out his palm in a stop sign then points to behind Callahan, Callahan turns around... Spin kick by The British Hawk to the face sends him staggering... Shadow Callahanwalks into a high dropkick from The British Hawk. Cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Q breaks that one with a stomp. Irish whip by Q sends The British Hawk to the ropes... TBH leaps over Q's back body drop attempt and bounces back... Q with spinning wheel kick attempt but TBH dodges it and leaps to the ropes... Sprinboard corssbody..."

Jim Jackson: "OH!!! Intercepted by a dropkick from the champ! Q turns around... He gets flipped through the air with a massive clothesline from Shadow Callahan! Callahan lifts Q up, POWERSLAM! Callahan for the cover..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Chriso breaks the three count! Chriso nails Callahan with a big right. Bodyslam by Chriso sends Callahan to the canvas... Chriso turns around... The British Hawk with a springboard hurricane DDT! Chriso's head gets drilled to the canvas!"

Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk jumps onto the turnbuckle and taunts to the fans. He leaps off the top rope performing a 450 degree somersault and splashing onto the opponent with a brutal 450 Splash!! TBH hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "OH MY GOD! TBH IS THE NEW CHAMP! THE BRITISH HAWK JUST PINNED CHRISO! Wait Shadow Callahan grabs TBH from behind... HE SLAMS TBH INTO CHRISO!!! Callahan hooks Chriso by the leg!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "Now it's Shadow Callahan who is the current champ! But wait! Q comes in with a springboard crossbody. Callahan catches him! He picks Q up but Q slips free and hits an enziguri! Q with a dropkick sends Callahan stumbling back!"

Brad Blood: "Callahan crashes into Chriso who is just getting back to his feet... Chriso slams into the turnbuckles hard! Q leaps over Shadow Callahan and uses Callahan's back to springboard himself towards Chriso! Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing grabs Chriso and drills Chriso into the mat with a mighty crunch executing a devastating Ditwabiaosiahdiswehankiamma! Callahan comes charging in... Q ducks and Callahan slams into TBH! Q with a dropkick sends both men over the top rope! Q for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "And Q wins back the title! And Chriso just got pinned for the third time! TBH seems to be getting back up to his feet... He climbs to the ring apron... Q charges in and leaps... TBH dodges! Q slams into Shadow Callahan on the outside!"

Brad Blood: "TBH looks at the mess of bodies outside... He notices Chriso is still down... He scampers into the ring and goes for the cover."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "And The British Hawk has won the title back! Q climbs back up to the apron... The British Hawk charges in, Q with a shoulder through the second rope slams into TBH's midsection! Q springboards over the top rope... He catches TBH and rolls him up!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "TBH kicks out! TBH with a dropkick sends Q reeling. TBH with an Irish whip sends Q to the ropes... Q ducks under the clothesline attempt and bounces back. TBH goes for a back body drop but Q counters with a kick to the face! Q bounces on the ropes... Running bulldog!"

Jim Jackson: "Q doesn't see Shadow Callahan creeping up behind him... He catches Q with a clothesline to the back. Callahan picks Q up... Fallaway slam! TBH staggers back to his feet... Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker stops him in his tracks. Callahan is on a roll! Shadow Callahan kicks The British Hawk in the gut forcing them to their knees. He grabs The British Hawk by the head and laughs. Shadow places them between his legs before lifting up for a powerbomb. Shadow Lets out a primal scream before viciously throwing The British Hawk to the mat neck first. He places his foot on their chest for a pin attempt executing The Rapture."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Chriso breaks the three count! German suplex by Chriso on Callahan! Chriso hooks The British Hawk's leg... No! Q with a double legdrop on Chriso! Q with a springboard moonsault lands on TBH! Q for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "Q wins back the title! Chriso knocks Q from behind with a double axe handle! He picks Q up... SHADOW CALLAHAN WITH A SPEAR TAKES CHRISO DOWN! Callahan grabs Q... HE POWERBOMBS HIM ON TOP OF CHRISO!!! Callahan covers Chriso..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "Shadow Callahan wins back the title! Shadow Callahan turns around and The British Hawk with a spinning side kick... BLOCKED BY CALLAHAN! Callahan grabs TBH and goes for a chokeslam... TBH slips free and leaps to the second rope... Springboard spin kick connects!"

Jim Jackson: "Callahan shakes it off and charges towards TBH... TBH dodges Callahan's grasp and counters with a flying knee! Callahan staggers back! TBH uses the ropes to gain momentum... DROPKICK FROM OUT OF NOWHERE BY Q SENDS TBH FLYING INTO THE ROPES!"

Brad Blood: "The British Hawk spins in the ropes and gets stuck in them! Q quickly goes after Callahan! He kicks Callahan with a flurry of kicks... An axe kick slams into the middle of Callahan's head! Callahan is down! Q leaps to the top turnbuckle... Chriso jumps up to the corner after Q and hits Q with a big right! Chriso sets Q up for a superplex..."

Jim Jackson: "Q SLAMS INTO THE MAT HARD!!! What a superplex from Chriso! Chriso hooks Q's leg hoping to finally win the title..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Callahan breaks up the three count... Irish whip on Chriso sends him crashing into The British Hawk which also frees the lightweight sending him head first into the ring apron!"

Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk staggers to his feet... STIFF CLOTHESLINE BY SHADOW CALLAHAN FLIPS THE BRITISH HAWK IN THE APRON! Q with a dropkick sends Callahan flying off the apron and slamming to the the steel steps!"

Brad Blood: "Chriso staggers to his feet... Q with a sliced bread #2 on Chriso! Q rolls up Chriso..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "Q gets the pinfall and wins the championship back! It is clear that all the wrestlers are getting tired at this stage... TBH staggers back to his feet and enters the ring..."

Brad Blood: "He looks at Q who is resting on the corner... He looks at Chriso who is down on the canvas... He quickly hooks Chriso by the legs hoping to get another pinfall..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Jim Jackson: "Q with a stomp interrupts the three count! TBH and Q start trading punches. They don't see Shadow Callahan who just entered back into the ring... Callahan with a double clothesline takes both Q and TBH down! Callahan covers Chriso..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Chriso manages to get his shoulders up... You know only Chriso hasn't gotten a pinfall yet here tonight... Bad luck for him..."

Jim Jackson: "Callahan gets back up to his feet... Q goes low with a forearm taking Callahan's feet away from him. TBH with a standing shooting star press... Callahan gets flattened! TBH hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Q interrupts the three count! DDT on TBH! Q goes to the ropes... Springboard elbow drop on TBH! Chriso is staggering back to his feet... Q hits Chriso with a facebuster! Q is determined to keep his championship..."

Jim Jackson: "Callahan gets back to his feet... Q goes for a spinning wheel kick but Callahan dodges it! He grabs Q from behind... ROLLING GERMANS!!! ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!! FOUR!!! FIVE!!! Callahan hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "Shadow Callahan just won the title back from Q! Those rolling Germans did a number on Q... Q is not even moving. TBH is back on his feet. Callahan takes him from behind... Atomic drop! TBH howls in pain... Neckbreaker by Callahan sends TBH back to the canvas."

Jim Jackson: "Chriso is back up on his feet... Callahan hits him with a European uppercut! Sidewalk slam on Chriso! Callahan is determined to keep the title this time."

Brad Blood: "All three wrestlers are down. If Callahan manages to maintain control he could walk away the champion... Callahan with a few stomps makes sure Q stays on the ground."

Jim Jackson: "TBH is getting back up to his feet. Shadow Callahan spots him, he charges in with a clothesline... TBH manages to duck under it! Callahan bounces back... TBH again avoids a second clothesline attempt. Callahan heads to the ropes... TBH with a dropkick... CALLAHAN HOLDS ON TO THE ROPES AND THE BRITISH HAWK FALLS FLAT ON HIS SIDE!"

Brad Blood: "Callahan goes for a leg drop on TBH... TBH rolls away! The British Hawk somehow gets back to his feet... Callahan charges in... TBH sidesteps and trips Callahan who crashes into the turnbuckles headfirst!"

Jim Jackson: "TBH gets his second win... Bulldog from the corner plants Callahan to the canvas! TBH with a springboard moonsault... CALLAHAN GETS HIS KNEES UP!!! TBH lands on his guts hard!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man that stopped TBH cold! Callahan staggers back to his feet... Chriso gets back to his feet and catches Callahan with a big right! Chriso picks Callahan up... PILEDRIVER!"

Jim Jackson: "Callahan gets nailed into the canvas! Chriso goes for the cover... Can he finally get a pinfall and win the title?"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Callahan gets his foot up on the bottom rope! Chriso fails to get the pinfall! Poor poor Chriso."

Jim Jackson: "Chriso gets back up on his feet. He picks Shadow Callahan up on his shoulders... Side slam! Chriso turns around... Q hits a double knee facebreaker from out of nowhere! Chriso is down!"

Brad Blood: "Q hooks the leg... No! TBH stops the three count before the ref could even begin! TBH picks Q up... He throws Q over the top rope! Q hits the steel barricade and goes down!"

Jim Jackson: "TBH turns around... Callahan picks him up with a fireman carry... TBH hits a series of elbows and he slips free! TBH with a springboard crossbody... Callahan catches him! Callahan throws TBH over his head... TBH with a crossbody hits Chriso instead!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Stomp by Callahan breaks the three count! Callahan picks TBH up on his shoulders... TBH grabs on to the top rope and slips free! TBH with a series of leg kicks stops Callahan on his tracks... Shining wizard by TBH..."

Jim Jackson: "BLOCKED BY CALLAHAN! Callahan picks TBH up for a powerbomb... TBH rains punches down on Callahan's head! TBH jumps free of Shadow Callahan's grasp!"

Brad Blood: "The British Hawk turns around... RIGHT INTO A STANDING DISCUS CLOTHESLINE BY CALLAHAN! Oh man, that almost decapitated the young Brit..."

Jim Jackson: "Chriso gets back up to his feet... He's still a little wobbly... Shadow Callahan takes him out with a stiff clothesline from hell! Callahan removes the turnbuckle covering... He drags Chriso to the exposed steel..."

Brad Blood: "He slams Chriso's head into the exposed turnbuckles! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Chriso is busted open!!! Callahan grabs Chriso and hits a huge implant DDT and Chriso's blood is smeared into the canvas!"

Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk gets back up on his feet, he dodges a big right by Callahan! Enziguri by TBH sends Callahan reeling! TBH with an Irish whip sends Callahan to the corner with the exposed turnbuckles... REVERSED BY CALLAHAN!!! NO!!! TBH REVERSES AGAIN!!!"

Brad Blood: "Callahan's back hits the exposed steel! This could be the break The British Hawk needs to win the title back... Can he capitalize?!"

Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk charges towards Callahan... Big dropkick sends Callahan's back again into the exposed turnbuckles. Callahan's own machinations may be the key to his demise."

Brad Blood: "Oh man, TBH is on a roll, he grabs Callahan and sends Callahan to the ropes with and Irish whip... TBH leaps up into the air... Look at that elevation!"

Jim Jackson: "Beautiful dropkick by TBH sends Callahan down! TBH goes to the ropes... He hits a beautiful corkscrew splash on Callahan! This could be it! TBH is signalling for his finisher..."

Brad Blood: "The British Hawk jumps onto the turnbuckle and taunts to the fans. He leaps off the top rope performing a 450 degree somersault and splashing onto the opponent with a brutal 450 Splash!! HE NAILS IT!!!"

Jim Jackson: "NO! It's Q!!! Q rushes back into the ring! Q HITS A DOUBLE KNEE BACKBREAKER ON TBH!!! TBH IS DOWN!!! Q hooks Callahan's leg!"

Referee Name: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "TBH did the work and Q reaped the spoils! BRILLIANT! AND THERE'S THE BELL SIGNALLING THE END OF THE TIME LIMIT!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match and STILL ULOL Primo Ultimo, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Jim Jackson: "Oh man, what a great match! What a beautiful match! TBH was so close to walk away with the ULOL Primo Ultimo..."

Brad Blood: "Still Q was able to eke out that win from out of nowhere... Chriso on the other hand... Poor Chriso... I don't know whether to pity him of laugh at him... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Lucha Loco 07/17/2011 Ulolse10

Jim Jackson: "What a night! What a night! Tonight we had a preview on what is to come at the PPV, we also crowned 2 new champions. Congratulations to Lady Bianca de Sade and Musashi Kuruma!"

Brad Blood: "Don't forget, we also have Q retaining his title in a great title scramble match. Seriously, this show is as good as a PPV if you ask me. Now what I am looking forward to is Connoly's match next week..."

Jim Jackson: "I agree with you Brad. Now as we get nearer to the PPV, it seems that the boycott is losing steam... Will the boycotting wrestlers still go on or shall they find a resolution to their problems?! Join us again next week folks and find out what happens next in ULOL! Good night and good fight."

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 07/17/2011

» Lucha Loco 03/03/2011
» Lucha Loco 10/23/2011
» Lucha Loco 09/04/2011
» Lucha Loco 03/10/2011
» Lucha Loco 06/05/2011