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 Lucha Loco 07/03/2011

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The Morbidly Obese Man
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PostSubject: Lucha Loco 07/03/2011   Sun Jul 03, 2011 10:50 am



Jim Jackson: "Good evening and welcome to another edition of Lucha Loco folks. This is Jim Jackson and joining me at the announce table is Brad Blood."

Brad Blood: "Thanks for the intro Jimbo. Seriously we had one helluva PPV last week. At Uno Mas! We saw the return of someone who we never expected to see again, Marcus Troy."

Jim Jackson: "Not only that Brad, we also saw one of the most unexpected alliances... Marcus Troy and Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. This has truly been of the curviest curve balls ever thrown at ULOL. I know everyone is waiting to see what else happens next so without further ado. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"






"Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers as smoke rises from the floor. Out from the smoke the figure of Marcus Troy, the vice-general manager of United League of Lunatics emerges. He quickly makes his way down the ring in his signature three piece Armani suit and a cigar between his lips. He grabs a mic with one hand and raises it up to his lips as he takes the cigar out with the other one. Loud booing is clearly heard from the crowd. Marcus Troy holds indifferently waits for the crowd to quiet down before speaking.

Marcus Troy: "I bet everyone is not expecting to see me again for quite sometime, yet it seems that ULOL has not... CANNOT rid itself of me yet. I'm sure many of you are unhappy about my return and my actions in the PPV. In fact, the number of hate mail I've received broke all hate mail records here in ULOL, but guess what? I do not care! I've sacrificed more than enough to regain my freedom and now I am back, I will make sure I will stay for good."

The boos again echo throughout the arena. Chants of "YOU SUCK!" and "ASSHOLE" is heard from the crowd. Again Marcus Troy patiently waits for the crowd to die down, for one thing he learned from his incarceration is patience...

Marcus Troy: "Now that you all have gotten that out of your system, I shall tell you all why I am out here tonight..."

Marcus Troy pulls out a piece of paper from his jacket and unfolds it.

Marcus Troy: "This is a board resolution from the board members of ULOL, now I shall read you just one part of this resolution, and I quote! After the medical report came out that Allister King is not medically cleared to manage ULOL, it is the decision of this board to remove Mr. King of his status as general manager for health reasons and again install Mr. Marcus Troy as the head figure of ULOL. This board resolution is final and is to be executed immediately. End of quote."

Stunned silence from the crowd met Marcus Troy's announcement. A grin creeps up on the face of the now NEW general manager of ULOL.

Marcus Troy: "Yes, that is right, if you want to blame someone, blame Shadow Callahan for injuring your beloved Mr. King... On the other hand, I myself would like to thank him, and even give him a raise."

Loud boos are again heard in the arena as Marcus Troy chuckles.

Marcus Troy: "Yes, I am in command again and this time I shall make sure I do not lose this power I wield."

"Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers again as Marcus Troy drops the mic and exits the ring.


?: "WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!"

THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!

The gargantuan form of The Morbidly Obese Man squeezes out of the entrance tunnel and stops at the top of the entrance ramp. He stares at the GM of ULOL who stops at his tracks at the sight of the massive wrestler.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "That's it? You expect to waltz in here with that announcement of yours and expect everything to go your way? Think again Troy... Seriously, I don't know what trick you pulled out of your asshat that made Q ally himself with you but your deception will not work on me nor this crowd."

The crowd murmurs in agreement with the big wrestler.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "What you did in the PPV last week was BULL! I know it, the crowd knows it, the whole roster knows it... I am no fan of Shogun but I can say this, you screwed him out of the Primo Ultimo. You have always abused your power Troy, that's was what caused your downfall the first time and that is what will cause your downfall again. I'm disappointed Q didn't finish you off, so this time I will."

The Morbidly Obese Man pauses as the crowd cheers for him.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "You think the roster will just sit down and take this? Well tonight I am calling for a boycott! That's right, this goes beyond factions, this goes beyond faces or heels, this is for the good of the fed. Anyone with a mind in this roster, come out and show your disdain for Troy by joining this boycott! I'm certain you'll say something about firing us Mr. Troy... But you cannot afford to fire your stars, not at this point when you just got your position back, you fire us and you may lose that job you just got back."

The big wrestler chuckles as Marcus Troy stares at him with hatred.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "So Troy, what are you gonna do?"

A hearty laugh is heard from The Morbidly Obese Man as he waits for people from the roster to join him.


"Machine Gun Blues" by Social Distortion starts to play throughout the arena. Raven Connoly walks out from backstage, the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly around her waist and the ULOL Campeón no Masculino over her left shoulder. She stops next to TMOM and glares down at Marcus Troy.

Raven Connoly: "I agree it's best to put you in check now Troy before you go power mad again. This federation barley survived you in charge once, we were running fine with out you, I'm not about to let you come in here and drive this federation into the ground again. So I for one am standing with TMOM on this one, we are not going to let you destroy our federation again."


Raven looks over at TMOM and nods her head before crossing her arms and looking down at Troy who is clearly seething at the two wrestlers audacity to cross him.


Marcus Troy: "Why doesn't it surprise me that you also came out here Raven?"

Marcus paces to and fro in front of the ring... He stops and stares at the dual champion in the eyes.

Marcus Troy: "The fat man is right, I cannot afford to fire you but this I can do... By the powers vested in my and for the interest of ULOL, I shall strip you of the titles you hold! We cannot have a non-performing champion you see. You join the boycott violates one of the tenets of being a champion and that's to defend the title or in your case titles in the squared circle."

Loud boos again comes from the crowd but the general manager ignores it.

Marcus Troy: "Mind you, it is your actions that forced my hand Raven, so do not blame me, only blame yourself. As of now, both the Correa Grande Del Oro and the ULOL Campeón no Masculino are VACANT! And of course those foolish enough to join your so-called boycott will NOT have a chance to get this title. Security, strip Ms. Connoly of her belts."

Marcus Troy sneers as the boos get louder. Security comes out and forcibly take the belts away from Raven Connoly.

Marcus Troy: "So anyone else foolish enough to join this so-called boycott?"

Marcus Troy stands and looks on at the two wrestlers standing alone on top of the entrance ramp.


The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura and Leon walk slowly to the start of the ramp. Following behind is Yuki Monotomo. All three superstars stop.

Ray Kamaura: "Marcus Troy is back everyone! What a surprise. But did anybody really think that Alister King as going to remain the ULOL GM? No I didn't think so."

Ray steps ahead of the rest of the DWMA, and moves past Raven and TMOM then moves the belt from shoulder to shoulder..

Ray Kamaura: "Now Marcus, I'm not a stupid man and I know it would be foolish to stand against you. That being said it wow not be wise for to make more enemies. Anyway I'm here to say that The DWMA's own Yuki Monotomo should be given a shot to grab that shiny new belt you have just obtained."

Ray turns around and walks back to the rest of the DWMA

Ray Kamaura: "I'm not here to boycott you. Just here to act as a manager to one of our own."

Ray and the rest of the DWMA walk out of the arena.


"Stress" by Justice comes over the speakers as the gold outline of a cross came over the titantron soon after the DWMA made their exit. Jim emerged not long after the music began. Having already a mic in hand he walked out onto the stage with a small smirk on his face, stopping at the top to stand with the others who made their presence known. After a good long look at both of them, starting with TMOM and then to Raven, he turned his attention back to Marcus Troy.

Jim Rival: "I have not been here long but I have heard stories of you, of things you done. Your words, your actions, your...sins. Sins that nearly destroyed the very foundation of this company. Sins that made plenty of people bitter, broken. Which is why I can understand why these people here are upset....however..."

Jim began walking down the ramp, keeping the mic up to his face to speak as he walked down while keeping his eyes on Marcus Troy. The boos began to come down hard onto him as he shot a cold glare of malice towards a fan trying so hard to get over the barricade at him.

Jim Rival: "However I have also seen the videos, of what was done to you. The barbaric conditions you were kept in, the treatment, the punishment of those same sins you have committed. I know how you feel."

Jim finally came to stand side by side by Marcus, looking him up and down before pointing back up the ramp to the others watching on.

Jim Rival: "They do not understand what I see. I have been through such a thing like you have, to pay for such sins and in my eyes. The eyes of the light. In those eyes you have payed for your sins and in those same eyes deserve to be here. In short I am here to say from one saved man to another that I am and will stand by your side in support."

Jim chuckled for a brief moment before looking back up the ramp and pointing again at TMOM, Raven, or anyone else in the back standing in face of Troy.

Jim Rival: "None of you have any idea what it is like to be saved like he was for his sins, or mine. This man payed in blood sweat and tears for his salvation and what he gets in return is a slap in the face, something that he doesn't damn well deserve. Not from the likes of someone who shot another human being, or someone who very human presence is absolutely revolting. Nor anyone in that locker room."


"Hybird Stigmata-the Apostasy" by Dimmu Borgir hits the speakers suddenly as the lights in the arena begin flashing on and off. When the lyrics begins Shogun steps out from behind the curtain to a mixed roar of cheers and boos from the crowd. Shogun steps in between Raven and TMOM before heading down the entrance ramp to the ring. An expression filled with nothing but pure intensity coats his face as he stares a hole through Marcus Troy. Shogun is decked out in his wrestling gear, however one thing stands out. A large golden championship title is strapped around his waist. Shogun snatches a microphone out of a ring attendant`s hand before rolling into the ring to face Marcus and Jim Rival.

Shogun: "Ask and you shall receive Troy."

Shogun lowers the mic, simply staring at Troy.


Marcus Troy merely scoffs at Shogun, shakes his head and looks at the former Primo Ultimo champ in the eyes.

Marcus Troy: "Ah yes, another fool appears it seems. A demonic fool too! It seems you too are willing to sacrifice your rematch clause for this foolhardy boycott? It matters not, ULOL shall go on despite this boycott, I mean so far only three of you came out. I guess my warning did reach the ears of some of our roster."

Marcus Troy paces away turning his back on Shogun...

Marcus Troy: "You all think that I am the bad guy for what I did to Shogun in the PPV... But what I did was just something that was long due, and that's to not only reinstate Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing but also give him a shot at the title which he deserves. You all were cheering when he carted me away to be incarcerated in his country... Now I return and try to rectify my mistakes and still you judge me?"

Marcus Troy spins around and meets Shogun's eyes.

Marcus Troy: "It matters not to me if you join the boycott, in your place other wrestlers will rise, you along with that fat fool have just wasted your careers with this idiotic effort."

Marcus Troy stands there, staring at Shogun as the crowd boos loudly...


Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. Little Wang pops up from in between her legs. The two wrestlers stop beside The Morbidly Obese Man and Raven Connoly.

Nao Fook Mi: "It is a tough decision for us, but we are willing to put our careers on the line for a just cause. We have heard your words Marcus Troy and I and my partner shall give up our rematch clause and join the boycott. Call us fools if you must, but better a fool than a snake. We know that our master will be proud for us as will our fans."

The crowd cheers loudly.


Little Wang takes the mic from his tag team partner.

Little Wang: "You think you can scare us Mr. Troy, that you can keep us under your power but you are wrong and I bet others in the roster will slowly follow our example. We stand here united against your tyranny Mr. Troy."

Little Wang pauses for a while and composes himself before he continues...

Little Wang: "And to Mr. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing... You disappoint us... We thought you had honor, we thought that you fight for justice but it seems that you have fallen into the clutches of corruption... A deal with the devil is what you have made and your soul will burn in hell when he collects."

Little Wang lowers the mic and stands tall beside the wrestlers who joined the boycott as the crowd cheers loudly.


"Creeping Death" by Metallica sounds its way around the arena and Zombie appears at the top of the ramp. He watches Troy as he makes his way down the ramp and enters the ring. He looks at Shogun and the golden title around his waist. Zombie smirks and begins to speak.

Zombie: "Before any of you say. Chriso is backstage taking a rest and so this is mine! ... Been screwed huh? Confused right?"

Zombie snaps his head in Marcus Troy's direction.

Zombie: "So am I! I get screwed over by Q in my title match! And now YOU hand it to him thus I am confused! I am NOT going to stand by and watch a man who has literally destroyed that title belt, now celebrate with it! I told you and everyone that that man is a menace to this company!"

Zombie paces the ring.

Zombie: "It's not me!"

Zombie points to Shogun.

Zombie: "It's not this man! Always at the root of it all is Q!! I stand by what I did and I will always stand by the fact that it was for the good of this company! I am NOT afraid to admit that I ... Zombie!!! slaughtered about a thousand of Q's people ... and it was all under your rule!! And it always will be! And now your running away from it all! I will always be here to remind you!! You are no longer the man I followed!"

Zombie turns to look at the wrestlers on the ramp and points at them.

Zombie: "Consider me a part of your little boycott!!"

The crowd lets out small cheers at the sudden announcement as Zombie turns to face Troy and glares at him.


"Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F plays for a brief period of time as Alexander Conway walks down towards the ring with a microphone in hand. He climbs up the steel stairs, eyes looking at both groups, before bending down to enter the ring. Instead, however, Conway stays on the outside and waves a finger at the boycotting wrestlers, before dropping off the apron and back onto the floor. He takes a few steps back before beginning to speak.

Alexander Conway: "What are you people doing? You should be glad that Troy is back. These fans should be glad that Troy is back. Ever since his departure, this place has gone down the shitter. We had a drunk as the General Manager, how low can we go? I know that I for one would rather have this manipulative bastard who can actually put on a show than the drunken figurehead that really didn't do anything except for buy beer and hire a mentally challenged person."

Alexander looks at the boycotting wrestlers before giving them a disapproving shake of his head.

Alexander Conway: "You know what you all are? Ungrateful pieces of shit. Who hired you? Who was it? I'm pretty sure it wasn't Eunice. The guy that's given all of you the opportunity to work here is that man, Marcus Troy, and let's be honest, you're all treating him like crap. He is the one that has enabled you to entertain these people, pay your bills, buy fancy things, improve resumes, and win titles. Troy has done a lot of horrible things, some of which I have been affected by, but he's also done a lot of great things. His horrible acts have been pretty decently counteracted by acts that benefit the shows, the company, and all of us. But now I have a question for all of you."

Alexander walks closer to the ring and leans against the apron.

Alexander Conway: "What hurts the ULOL worse? Many of it's wrestlers refusing to wrestle, or Troy? We are supposed to wrestle, because that's our damn job. If you can't do your job, then there is honestly no reason for you to be out here. If you want Troy gone, petition the Board Members of the ULOL! They removed Allister King, they can remove him too. But don't come out here and refuse to do your job just because you can't have your way. Don't come out and refuse to do your job just because you don't like somebody. You all think Troy is selfish, manipulative, and harmful to the company? Look in the mirror, because all I see here are a few selfish jerks trying to manipulate the Board Members into removing Troy by harming the company that they are supposedly trying to save."

"Rapture" by HURT blasts through the PA system as the man who single handedly removed Allister King from Power, The Mad Man himself, Shadow Callahan, makes his way out to join the rest of the rebels. He grabs a microphone and looks at Troy. The Crowd boos him before he can even get a word out

Shadow Callahan: "So you're the new king of fools around here? Ha! You're even more pathetic than the last one.

Shadow grins.

Shadow Callahan: "You should be on your knees thanking me. Not only did I single-handedly remove that incompetent fool from power, I made his life hell. I killed his best friend, I bloodied his wife and I disemboweled him like the pig that he is. Although through all that I gained respect for him. He had the balls to keep coming back."

The Crowd cheers

Shadow Callahan: "You want to place the blame on me? No problem, I regret nothing I did to him. But I do however regret giving you the opportunity to assume control of this hellhole. You cannot control me nor my brethren. Take that as a warning."

Callahan drops the mic and walks to the back.


The Morbidly Obese Man steps to the frontlines again with mic in hand.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Well it seems the battlelines have been drawn... One side we have us who won't stand for your tyranny, another side we have the misguided and the parasites siding with Troy... Of course we also have Shadow Callahan who is out of his mind but that is beside the point."

The big wrestler takes another step forward.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Seriously, we have Ray Kamaura who came out but is as yellow as a man infected with hepatitis C, even Little Wang here who is only one third your size has bigger balls than you. Even Raven who sacrificed her titles for what is right has bigger balls than you, and she is a woman if you didn't notice Mr. Ray NO BALLS Kamaura."

Chants of "Ray Kamaura NO BALLS!" are heard from the crowd.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "And then you have Alexander Conway... The same Alexander Conway who once went against Troy but now sucks up to him because he also fears losing his title. That's right, another wrestler with no cojones! You are just as bad as Kamaura. Wait, you are much worse since Kamaura didn't even suck up to Troy but you did you piece of barnacle!"

Chants shift from "Ray Kamaura NO BALLS!" to "Conway BARNACLE!"

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Then we have Jim Rival... Are you sure you are sober?! It seems that your brain cells are so bad that even after rehab and recovery what's left of your brain cannot process the facts anymore... You speak of Troy's suffering, what about the people he and Zombie killed?!"

The Morbidly Obese Man looks at Zombie...

The Morbidly Obese Man: "No offense... I know you are now against Troy but you tried to eat me so I don't like you."

The big man looks towards Troy again.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "As I see now, before this night is over, we'll have a stalemate, you'll have the cowards and the leeches on your side Troy, while on this side, we'll have the real wrestlers... But hear me, this stalemate will end, and when it does, your crown will be the one that leaves your head."

Loud cheering is heard from the crowd as The Morbidly Obese Man puts down his mic.


Alexander emits a sigh.

Alexander Conway: "Surely you jest? I do not care what Troy thinks of me, because I do not require his assistance to win matches, like Shogun did. You can try to twist the situation however you want to, TMOM, but the fact is, you are in the wrong. It is my hope that the wrestlers in the back will realize that I am the one who's example they should follow."

Alexander turns to look directly into the camera.

Alexander Conway: "If you have a problem with Marcus, sign a petition, because acting unprofessionally will get you no where. The ones in the ring are not who you want to trust, they are in this for themselves, and are willing to hurt the company that they supposedly want to protect to get what they want."

Alexander turns to leave, but quickly turns around and hops onto the ring apron.

Alexander Conway: "And I don't fear losing my title, if you haven't noticed, I didn't even bring it with me! It doesn't matter if Troy were to strip me of my belt, because I am good enough that I could simply win it right back again! That's a feat that you can't do, fatty. I mean really, you can't even win a title to begin with! You say all of the real wrestlers are boycotting? That's funny, because you aren't even worthy of being called a wrestler! You only get by in your career because of your weight! You have no skills, and you know that you couldn't defeat me on your best day!"

"LET'S GO!"

"Simply Unstoppable [Yes Rock Remix]" starts blaring over the arena. The fans start cheering as the former, former Primo Ultimo Champion enters through the curtain. His face says it all. He is pissed off. He walks directly past the four wrestlers and Alexander Conway on the ramp and stops. He looks at the four men inside the ring, three are considered to him as his nemesis's, the other is just a random dude he never knew existed in the ULOL until now. He walks around the ring to the announcer's table, not taking his eyes off of them. He gets given a microphone. He walks up the steel steps and enters the ring. He stops in a corner of the ring. The music fades down and 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson begins to speak.


"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Well look what the cat dragged back. Marcus Troy, it seems that no matter what you do, wherever you go, you will always come back to be a complete asshole. But I must admit, you did surprise us all. Aligning yourself with Q was a global shock."

Chants of 'Asshole!' and boos are heard from the ULOL faithful.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Does anyone else remember when Q was on a mission to get Troy outta here? Back when the majority of the roster liked him? I do. I, in fact admired Q's determination to cart you away. He carried a flag, and on that flag was this image."

UJJ points to the titantron. A familiar image appears.



Groans and belches are heard.


"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "For those of you who have forgotten, this is the proclaimed 'darkness' that Q has made famous. I mean he's embarrassed Nogun here with it for a few months.This was when Marcus 'Douchebag' Troy, aligned himself with you."

UJJ points to the fake championship wearing Shogun.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Then after you two had a lover's tiff, he aligned himself with Zombie, thus continuing his 'reign of terror' and sharing plates of Q's people. But just like in most stereotypical scenarios, The knight in shining armor, in this case it's Q, banishes the evil and saves the kingdom, which is ULOL."

UJJ walks around the ring, continuing his dialogue.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "For months, we've seen Troy get shit on and get dismantled with no one to align himself with. He was forced to reveal his true colors and show us that standing alone, he is just as weak and fragile as Amy Winehouse was during her dope sessions.Until Q made the second most biggest mistake in his life. He allowed himself to get manipulated by Marcus and therefore aligning with him. Making him a victim of his own darkness."

Sighs of relief are heard as the picture on the 'tron fades out. But screams of horror are heard as a new picture fades in.



"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "That darkness no longer belongs to Nogun, he was never the original 'darkness' either. It was Troy. We all thought that it was gone forever when you finally got carted away. But now, it seems Q is getting a right face full of that."

UJJ points to the image. He stops in front of Troy.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I don't necessarily like Nogun, but he did get screwed. By you. Not only that, you screwed me too. Not putting me in that match was a massive mistake. Which is why I want a match. The Primo Ultimo Licking Champion Q vs Nogun vs Yours truly. You want to correct your wrongs? Then here's a good of an opportunity to start."

UJJ glares at Troy.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "You already have a locker room full of pissed off wrestlers, you certainly don't want an even more pissed off UJJ. Trust me, I scare myself when I'm this pissed."

UJJ lowers the microphone. Cheers for him are deafening.


The Morbidly Obese Man: "And Barnacle Boy there starts speaking... Speaking nonsense! Maybe he would make more sense if he stops sucking on Marcus Troy's balls!"

The crowd chuckles at The Morbidly Obese Man's comments...

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Seriously Conway, your speech is nothing but a cover. You say you are looking for the good of ULOL? No, we all know the truth Conway, you are merely looking for the good of one person. Yourself! Maybe if you stop being a barnacle and detach yourself from Troy's balls you will see that..."

The big man takes a few steps forward.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "And you know what Conway? You are one more thing other than a barnacle... You are a HYPOCRITE! You who once went against Troy now sticks with him because your interest are in jeopardy... And what interest is that? That Ligero Maximo you carry, THE SAME Ligero Maximo title that you once commented as a consolation title. Hah! So I guess you are nothing but a consolation champion then. Your words Conway!"

The Morbidly Obese Man looks towards his partner and shouts out...

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Great to have you on this side Johnson."

The big man then turns again to the face the entrance tunnel and speaks.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Okay people! Time to grow some balls, come out and make a stand! Don't be a Ray Kamaura!"

The Morbidly Obese Man waits for other members of the roster to show up.


Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it heads towards Marcus Troy...

Boy Bakla: "Well this looks like an interesting shindig..."

Bakla struts around and stops at the bottom of the ramp and faces the group of boycotting wrestlers.

Boy Bakla: "Sorry kiddies but I am a known opportunist and this is an opportunity... With you on boycott and some of the titles vacated, I think it would benefit me to compete for them... Oh I know that you will all say I got the title when no real competition is around but frankly everyone knows I am only after a bigger paycheck which comes with being a champion. The same paycheck that will pay for a new set of these wonderful beautiful puppies!"

Bakla squeezes it's boobs together and jiggles them.

Boy Bakla: "So I guess I throw my lot with you Marcus..."

Bakla traces a finger on Marcus Troy's chest that made everyone shudder...

Boy Bakla: "Of course I expect to get title shots for my services, I don't work for free you know..."

Bakla winks and settles down beside the group of wrestlers supporting Troy.


Alexander points a finger at TMOM.

Alexander Conway: "You're the hypocrite, TMOM! I recall you working for Troy at one time before, but that's all forgotten now that you're against him apparently. I don't see why anybody would even trust you, you've betrayed you stablemates in the past, and you'd probably betray these people in the ring with you to satisfy your needs! You are a parasite, not only to the ULOL, but to the World's food supply! You speak of growing balls? Well then, why don't you grow some balls and meet me in a match? Delay your boycott for a bit and back up the talk! Or what? Will you prove that you are in this for yourself, and refuse to give these fans what they want?"

Alexander sweeps an arm across the stands.

Alexander Conway: "Come on, TMOM, they want to see you nut up! They want to see you put me in my place. I'm only a "Consolation champion", what could I do? Hell, you're so interested in my belt, that I will even vacate it, should you defeat me, which you won't."

Alexander turns to look at the audience.

Alexander Conway: "Oh, but I'm sorry fans. You're fat hero here is too afraid to fight me. He's going to refuse to fight me, because he's actually the coward here. If anyone needs to grow a set, it's him."

Turning to face The Morbidly Obese Man, Alexander stares at him with contempt.

Alexander Conway: "Or will you actually decide to do something? Of course you won't, you're just a fat, foppish, coward, and no one can ever rely on you to do anything."

Ray turns back to TMOM

Ray Kamaura: "I'm sorry if I'm not willing to throw away the tag title, in which the DWMA has worked so hard to get, for your little boycott. Now we don't want Marcus to help us win the matches, like Shogun did, but we want him to simply put Yuki Monotomo into a title match."

Ray repositions the belt oh his shoulder.

Ray Kamaura: "Also UJJ, I know you like to get your rocks off to that damn picture, but i think we never should see it again even if trying to prove a point. But other than that I'm staying on Tory's side. He's much better than the last drunkard that was GM for crying out load the DWMA had to gain a number one contenders match in a drinking contest."


The Morbidly Obese Man: "Yes, that is why you are NO BALLS KAMAURA, Ray... "

The big wrestler turns to Conway as the crowd chants "NO BALLS KAMAURA!"

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Now back to your accusations Conway... I do admit that I once worked with Troy, but what happened in the end? Marcus Troy walks off with millions while I got nothing. I for one should know very well what happens to people who work with Troy, they get stabbed in the end. In a way I am thankful for Troy's betrayal, he opened my eyes... And now here we are. I never did deny my past Conway but the important thing is I changed. I am not the same man I was and I am not talking physically."

The Morbidly Obese Man turns around and looks at everyone who joined the boycott in the eyes.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "You all know my past, I've never hidden it yet you joined me in this cause and for that I am grateful."

The big man turns again and looks at Conway.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "You say I am a coward? Well face me outside of ULOL then Conway. Since I'm boycotting ULOL, I will not fight here but how about a street fight not sanctioned by ULOL? You and me Conway, no rules, no titles on the line just us..."

The big man stares down at Conway waiting for a reply.


'Tears Don't Fall' by Bullet For My Valentine starts blaring over the arena. After a few seconds AJ bursts out of the tunnel. He stops at the edge of the stage and looks at the arena. He has a microphone in his hand. He looks a little more dumbfounded then usual ever since the blows he seems to take to the head in his matches. He speaks with a high voice

AJ: "Oh hai everybody! My name is AJ! I think..."

AJ scratches his head with the microphone causing a high pitch background sound to emanate across the speakers. Many of the wrestlers hold their ears in discomfort. AJ just giggles.

AJ: "I'm sorry I didn't mean to do it, It was the microphone! It's all his fault! Tehehe!"

AJ then looks serious. His straightens up his body. He speaks again but this time his voice is a bit deeper.

AJ: "I've been in Wrestling Havoc Worldwide, so I know first hand what sort of character you are Mr. Troy. You are the rotten tomato in this vegetable patch! You and the rest of your other rotten tomatoes are not welcome here in the United League of Lunatics. You have the three champions on your side! But know this! They can all be dethroned and the belts can belong to the S.A.T! Superheroes Against Troy!"

AJ gives a high pitch giggle as the boycott wrestlers question the name choice.

AJ: "Another thing Mr. Conway! TMOM's gonna kill you! TMOM's gonna kill you!"

The fans join in with AJ's chant as he points to the Ligero Maximo Champion.


Alexander lets out a snicker before raising the microphone to his lips.

Alexander Conway: "I give you the opportunity to fight without interference and you shove it back into my face. I give you the chance to force me to vacate my title, but you say no. You obviously realize that I don't care about my title, or else you would try and cause me to lose it."

Alexander finally enters the ring before stepping in front of The Morbidly Obese Man.

Alexander Conway: "You want me in a street fight? Well, how are you going to prevent any of your asshole friends from jumping in to save your ass? How are you going to prevent any of these pukes in the audience from coming out and assaulting me like they did in my ladder match against Bain?"

Alexander lowers his microphone as he waits for a reply.

Marcus Troy: "Now hold it!"

The general manager steps forward.

Marcus Troy: "You think that I will allow one of the champions in this fed to possibly get injured in a non-sanctioned match? That will not happen. I am grateful that Mr. Conway is determined to go to such an extent to defend me thus I return the favor by looking after his well being."

The GM of ULOL paces again and looks at all the wrestlers who assembled to support him.

Marcus Troy: "You all shall be aptly rewarded. Since those fools who joined the boycott shall not be getting any pay, you will all receive a significant bonus to your paychecks."

The GM of ULOL turns again to face the wrestlers who are joining the boycott, a grin on his face.

Marcus Troy: "Yes, that's right, if you read your contract properly you'd see that there is a clause that states that if a wrestler for whatever reason doesn't fight, management has the right to hold his salary. So guess who's not getting paid? Definitely not these smart people over on my side..."

Marcus Troy laughs heartily as the boycotting wrestlers looks on with fury in their eyes.


Leon walks in front of TMOM and stares into his eyes.

Leon Hinomoto: "Thanks for the money! I always wanted a golden limo."

Leon laughs and turns around and addresses Troy

Leon Hinomoto: "You have the full support of the DWMA, You are the benevolent dictator."


Alexander directs his gaze at Troy.

Alexander Conway: "Then strip me of the title, like I said, I'll just win it back again. I want this fight to happen, and it will, whether you want it to or not. Oh, and let me clarify something. I'm not necessarily Pro-Troy, I'm more Pro-Stopbeingunprofessionalbitches."

Alexander stares into the eyes of The Morbidly Obese Man once again.

Alexander Conway: "So, how are you going to make sure that it's just you vs. me? I don't want you to have an excuse for when a guy who you outweigh by like 300 pounds knocks you out."

The Morbidly Obese Man grins widely...

The Morbidly Obese Man: "You're on little man... Next week, just the two of us on the street, no interference... Shutting your trap for good will be a pleasure... I guess this is one match everyone will be watching but Marcus Troy won't be making a profit from..."

The crowd cheers loudly....


AJ marches down the ramp and goes to the apron. He gets in front of Alexander Conway. He sizes up to him.

AJ: "You mister are getting on my nerves!"

An extreme frown appears on the face of AJ who starts breathing heavily.

AJ: "All you talk about is you! You, you, you, you, you, YOU! This isn't about you, you selfless son of a bitch! This is about a war! A war that has the potential to rip ULOL apart... Again!"

AJ looks directly at Alexander Conway. His angry expression quickly turns into a smile. He steps back.

AJ: "Wait a minute! I know why you want to face TMOMster one on one! You have a fetish for fatties! You hope to take this fight into the nearest hotel and then lock the door! Where you'll start doing some stuff that relates to the image that is, strangely, still on the titantron! You want to convert him to the rotten tomatoes' side!"

AJ's angry expression returns. He speaks with his deep voice again.

AJ: "I will not allow you to do that Mister Congay! As the fearless leader of the Superheroes Against Troy, I have to keep every member's personal issues and health in check! TMOMster facing you has the clear potential to violate his personal health and issues. I will be held responsible! So I cannot let you do it TMOM."

AJ jumps up and pats TMOM's shoulder.

AJ: "However, no one has to keep my personal health in check and I certainly ain't gonna get tempted by your advances Congay! So face me instead!"

AJ lowers the mic.


Alexander rolls his eyes at the interuption.

Alexander Conway: "Never speak or approach me again, AJ. You think you're funny? The only thing that's funny about you is your win/loss record. You're a sad, worthless, excuse for a jobber, and really have no business being out here, or even in the ULOL to begin with. Why do I want The Morbidly Obese Man? Because he's the one who started this stupid movement, he's the one who insulted me, and he's the one who will now pay. Maybe if anyone cared about you in the least, you wouldn't be relatively unheard of, Mr. I can't perform my own finisher correctly."

Alexander looks over AJ and at The Morbidly Obese Man.

Alexander Conway: "You've made the biggest and last mistake of your life. The only thing that will be shutting next week is the book of your career, when I end it! I hope you say goodbye to your precious fans before you take your ride on the ambulance."

Alexander tosses the microphone at The Morbidly Obese Man before exiting the ring and heading to the backstage of the ULOL.

Raffi's "Banana Phone" plays as Rupert B. Humperdink comes running out to a thunderous reaction to the crowd who chant his name. He waves to the crowd. He picks up a microphone but talks into it upside down til someone turns it around for him.

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Is there a party?!! I wanna play!"

Rupert starts to climb and jump on TMOM's shoulders

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Bouncy Castle!!"

The Crowd Laugh until Rupert falls headfirst to the ground

Rupert B. Humperdink: "DERP!!"

He shakes it off and runs down to the ring. He stops and looks at Boy Bakla

Rupert B. Humperdink: "BOOBIES!!!"

Marcus Troy is confused at this strange man

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Boobies!"

Rupert exits the ring and pulls his shorts down and runs up the ramp dropping the microphone before leaving


AJ's angry expression turns into a sad frown. The fans boo Conway. AJ looks like he is about to cry.

AJ: "Owwies, Congay hurt me with his words."

AJ walks back next to The Morbidly Obese Man.

AJ: "For that, I will allow TMOM to go ahead with this match. And if you are still living afterwards then I want to face you after! I can perform the err- Whatsit again?"

AJ runs the mic through his hair. Making the high pitch noise to return.

AJ: "Ahh I remember now. The Sharpshooter! Or was it the AJ Bomb? Ahh I'm soo confused!"

AJ holds his head. He seems to be having a migraine or something similar. He talks in Conway's general direction.

AJ: "If I am a jobber then you must be a Jabroni! Thats it. From now on, you will be officially known as Jabroni Congay! S.A.T members take note of that!"

AJ takes his place back beside TMOM. He nods at his group.


UJJ sighs heavily.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I still haven't heard a response from you Troy. Is the match on or not? Or do we have to drag out your masked hero out here to protect you from me eventually beating the shit out of you if you make me wait any longer."

UJJ points at the stage.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Well it seems to me that the sides have been chosen, It doesn't look good for you now does it Troy? You only have a handful of douche bags out here to support you whilst we have all the stars of the federation on this side. To prove it, I will win back my Primo Ultimo title!"

Cheers are heard from the fans.


Yuki Monotomo has been vacantly staring off into space for the entire argument, thinking. He advances into the ring and stands with the wrestlers on Troy's side.

Yuki Monotomo: "Sorry, but Troy's never done anything to me. And if your disputes give me a title, then fine. I have bills to pay, like Ragki's medical. I was hired while Troy was "out" for awhile. I need the money and since Troy has never done a single thing to me, I'm taking the opportunity."

Yuki stares down Raven Connoly before turning to Marcus Troy with his mic still in hand.


Yuki Monotomo: "I would like to be match for the recently vacated title of Correa Grande Del Oro, Mr. Troy."

He turns back to the newly formed team against Troy.

Yuki Monotomo: "Some of us have bills to pay. Why put our fans' enjoyment before our own disputes? You should all be ashamed of yourselves. You're depriving the people of a good show. But what should I know? I've only been here for about a month and a half. So go ahead and say what you will about me."

Yuki turns back to Troy.

Yuki Monotomo: "So do I have an answer?"


Ray walks up beside Yuki Monotomo.

Ray Kamaura: "You are all a bunch Twats. Team wrestling against Troy. You are on the losing team."


A roar can be heard as AJ jumps up and down. He is red in the face and there is fire in his eyes, metaphorically of course, he storms into the ring and gets in Ray's face.

AJ: "SUPERHEROES AGAINST TROY! WE ARE THE S.A.T!"

AJ takes a few deep breaths as he continues.

AJ: "Just because you managed to get a DVD and win the titles after how many attempts?! It doesn't mean that you are better than us! We learnt English in our schools but it seems like you flunked it big time cos it's reflecting your mic skills! Be honest, you wasn't great at PE either was you? Cos you mister! Suck!"

AJ's voice turns higher again.

AJ: "No matter who you get! We will stand strong and kick your asses til it gets redder than an Englishman on Holiday! HURRAH!"


Ray chuckles then his expression changes.

Ray Kamaura: "Listen here you damn TWAT turn around and get the hell out of this ring before I knock your teeth down your throat. Turn around and join the other TWATS outside of the ring. Where you belong!"

Ray lowered his mic


“Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again, and he is standing on the entrance ramp with a microphone in his hand.

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "Well what do we have here. Guys who are going against Marcus Troy and those who are his dogs...However, I would like to make an announcement myself. The Age of Pain era is over in ULOL. Well, this name sounds stupid and another thing is that we don’t even wanted this name only one who begged for that name was ungrateful S.O.B. Taufik. So from this day forwards The Age of Pain is dead. Welcome to the age of Illuminati."

However, despite the announcement he made the reason why he came out wasn’t because of it, so he is continues what he wanted to say in the first place.

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "DWMA is with Marcus Troy really? Those guys who pretend to be good and fights against me and what we stand for. How could I be at the same side as these three cowards are?"

He looks at The Morbidly Obese Man.

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "I know that since the end of our former stable, we haven’t been on the same side, but this time I am standing there with you, and I don’t really know what Manolo Ferrer is thinking but since Taufik and Jim Rival took him out. I make the rules for Illuminati. I hope he won’t be mad."

He lowers the mic and he waits for someone to respond.


Raven Connoly: "Why are we wasting our time and breath out here anyway. Marcus is a pathetic coward who hides behind his money, and throws his power around to make himself feel big because he knows in reality he is weak and pathetic. Everything he has done, stripping me of my titles, holding back our pay, Troy would have done all this anyway because it's the only way he can make himself feel big. He uses his money to recruit these mindless drones that are only concerned with money and power just like him, and anyone that goes against him he makes life hell until they quit. Then he hides behind his drones for protection because Marcus knows that if it actually came down to a physical fight, he would lose every time. He is weak, and he is going to destroy this federation and leave all of you fools standing by him now broken and abandoned so he can move on to his next federation, that he will run into the ground as well."

Raven looks around at the wrestlers on the stage.


Raven Connoly: "I'm tired of Troy, and I'm not going to entertain his games anymore. There plenty of other federations out there that would gladly sign every wrestler on this stage. That would leave Marcus here to rot with his little half-asssed army, because as much as all of you down there want to deny it, if we walk to another federation your going to have some tough competition ahead of you. On top of that, with Marcus's amazing track record, if half of his rooster walks out, this federation will fold twice as fast. So you can take my title, you can take my pay, and while your at it Marcus...,"


Raven pauses for a second and rests her microphone on her lips, she seems to be pondering something very intently. She removes the microphone from her lips and begins to speak again.

Raven Connoly: "While you're at it you can go fuck yourself, because I know you still have your little panties in a bunch because your not fucking me!"


The arena goes eerily quite as half of the fans in the arena attempt to pick their jaws off of the floor after hearing Raven's uncharacteristic words.

Yuki turns away from Marcus to Raven.

Yuki Monotomo: "Three things: First of all, bow-chicka-wow-wow. Second of all, can I? Third of all, like I said, you're just going to deny the people a good federation. This one's still up and running and we can all make sure of that. We're the wrestlers. As long as we're here, people will watch."

Yuki waits for Raven's reply.


Jim was sitting on the top turnbuckle at this point, farthest from everyone else in the ring. He gave a light chuckle to the events he was silently watching up to this point. He brought the mic up to his mouth after clearing his throat.

Jim Rival: "If...if I do understand this correctly you are threatening a walk out. Well, some of you anyway. Yet there something that hits me when hearing that. Oh what is that word..."

Jim sat there for a moment, his hand moving in circles as it to either mock those outside the ring or to truly find the word he was looking for before speaking once again.

Jim Rival: "....hypocritical. If I remember correctly each of you would constantly say how much you loved this place, this company, these...ugly sinners that you would call fans. Also please, Yikui Mono-whatever your name is please get your hormones in check. You are making yourself look like a bigger fool than the horrid and tasteless people that sit in the audience cheering them."

Jim words drew boos like never before, some of them going as far as to throw trash in his direction as he sat there and blatantly ignoring them. He turned his attention back to the 'boy-cotters'.

Jim Rival: "...and don't think these so called fans will even follow you if you do go. All these barbaric and ignorant people want is bloodshed in anyway shape or form. They only see you as a slab of meat, waiting to be busted open to feed their sick desires of violence."


Tubular Hell Plays as the lights begin to flicker wildly.
From behind the backstage curtain emerges Chriso showing scars from his non stop battle with Zombie.
He raises a mic and begins to speak


Chriso: "Sorry for the interruption......
I don't really know whats going on here.....
Nor do I care......
I'm just here to take Zombie away!!!"


Zombie looks back with anger

Chriso: "Zombie......
Locking me in the boiler room........
does not count as me 'taking a break'.........
Next time you try to escape me.......
Make sure it isn't such a flimsy door!!!"


Chriso throws the mic down and brushes a piece of wood of his overcoat.
He then proceeds to head towards the ring and Zombie.


Zombie glances at Chriso and rolls his eyes. He looks back to Troy.

Zombie: "You may have brought me into this company! But I don't need you anymore! You made a huge mistake by coming back with HIM stuck to your asshole!"

Zombie drops the microphone and exits the ring by stepping over the top rope. He jumps from the ring apron to the ground, runs towards Chriso and slams him with a huge clothesline. Zombie brings Chriso to his feet and pushes his way past through the wrestlers with Chriso in tow. Chriso quickly lashes out to Zombie and Irish whips him into the metal supports of the titantron.


"Shut Me Up" by Mindless Self Indulgence erupts over the arena speakers. Connoly walks out onto the stage shaking his head.

Connoly: "Those two have the right idea, now are the rest of you going to bark all day or are you going to bite. Jesus god damn Christ, are we going to talk all night?! Your all talking about the federation going down hill in the future, you know whats going on right now **click**, You've been out here yapping so long half the arena is asleep, this is a wrestling federation not Meet The Press. Now I've never worked for Troy but I've got about 100 reasons to cram my boot down his throat. Now the way I see it, we have two sides here, and the last time I checked we are all in the business of fighting, so lets end this right now. It's going to be awfully hard to run a federation with your skull caved in, huh Troy. So are we going to stand out here and talk all night, or are we going to do something?!"

Connoly looks over at the group of wrestlers on the stage, and then down at the wrestlers that have gathered around Troy.

Connoly: "Hell, I'll do it myself."

Connoly charges down the ramp right for Troy. Connoly is able to spear Troy before anyone knows whats going on. Troy crashes to the ground, Connoly attempts to get up before Troys new goons swoop in and start beating him to the ground. Connoly is able to shove a few away, but eventually starts to lose the numbers game.


Security suddenly pour in before the boycotting wrestlers could react, they quickly surround Connoly and subdues him. The rest of the security pull out stun guns to keep all the wrestlers at bay. Two men help Marcus Troy up to his feet.

Marcus Troy: "THAT... WAS... A... BIG... MISTAKE!"

Marcus straightens his tie and fixes his suit as he stares in anger at Connoly.

Marcus Troy: "Take Connoly away... I will deal with him later."

Marcus raises a finger and notices a small cut on his forehead. He wipes it with his fingers and looks at the boycotting wrestlers.

Marcus Troy: "Have your little boycott. I still have enough wrestlers in the roster to put up a great show, ULOL shall continue without you, you think you are irreplaceable? Think again, once new stars come up to take your place, then you'll see how meaningless your boycott is. In fact, sit your contract out!"

Marcus Troy surrounded by security makes his way back up the ramp...


Before Marcus Troy can exit, the ULOL Tron fizzles and comes to life. On the giant screen we see the face of the VGM of ULOL, Eunice P. Winslow.

Eunice P. Winslow: "As usual, Marcus Troy returns and everything goes to the crapper, what a clusterfuck this has become. Pardon my language... Anyway, I am not out here to take sides, everyone here knows of my disdain for Marcus Troy but he does raise some good issues. Yet the boycott side also have some issues that are of note. An unhappy roster is not signs of a healthy federation."

The crowd's attention focuses on the big screen as the feisty VGM sighs heavily.

Eunice P. Winslow: "I've been doing this shit for far too long... I shall not allow anymore violence to ensue. You wrestlers who want to boycott, fine go do your boycott, unfortunately I have to agree with Mr. Troy here that while in a boycott, you shall not be paid your salary. I do expect that you will conduct this boycott in a civilized manner."

Mrs. Winslow then turns to look at the security holding Connoly.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Release that man now, as I said things will be settled in a more civilized way. As of now, ULOL shall not sanction any scuffle from both the boycott side and the non-boycott side. Even in a boycott, you are still employed by ULOL and can be suspended, so if ANY wrestler want to do violence to each other within ULOL grounds, whether you are in the boycott side or not, YOU WILL BE SUSPENDED! And to the security personnel, use of unnecessary force shall result in unemployment. I cannot do anything about the match between Mr. Conway and The Morbidly Obese Man but both of you shall sign a waiver for your street fight clearing ULOL of any responsibilities to whatever happens to both of you."

The VGM of ULOL pauses and takes a deep breath. As Connoly pulls himself from the clutches of the security personnel.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Now I suggest everyone leave the ringside. This discussion is over. Even if I will not take sides in this, I shall at least keep the peace. Now stop acting like children and go!"

The screen blinks out, Marcus Troy clearly miffed signals and security who follows him backstage.




Last edited by The Morbidly Obese Man on Tue Jul 05, 2011 8:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 07/03/2011   Sun Jul 03, 2011 10:51 am



A very loud brass band plays, fighting with an equally loud audience for the loudest noise of the night. A man in a dapper suit waves to the audience from his table on the stage.

Talk Show Host: "Welcome back to The Not So Late Night Show! And our next guest just brought joy and happiness to his country, when he became the new ULOL Champion! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the masked man known all over the world only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

The brass band plays the Ride of the Magnificent Seven, as the new Primo Ultimo Champion comes out to a standing ovation. He is wearing one of his many custom masks, and one of his very colorful wrestling outfits, highlighted by the shiny Primo Ultimo championship title around his waist.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing raises his hands out in a celebratory pose, as fans throw their panties onto the stage. He gamely grabs one thrown at him, then pauses as he takes a good look at the underwear thrown at him, all the while shaking hands with the always smiling Talk Show Host.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "These look a bit too manly for panties! But I appreciate how much I mean to you, my lovely fans!"

They cheer for him. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing takes his seat beside the Talk Show Host.

Talk Show Host: "Congratulations on your big win! I heard they have made it a public holiday in your country."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "This is true! My lovely people celebrate with me, as we share in this victory! The man I defeated for this title, is an evil man! He takes pride in doing evil things! Until the day came when someone! Namely me! Decided he had enough! And now I'm here before you, with this title in my name!"

Talk Show Host: "I understand that guy you beat....his name's Shogun right? I heard he's really good."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I heard so too! But if that was true, he'd be your guest tonight!"

The Talk Show Host laughs.

Talk Show Host: "Good point. I understand there's a picture you want to show us?"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I do! This will be a poster! Part of the souvenir set you can get of this historic match!"

A still shot appears. It is the exact moment Shogun taps out to Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It'll also have a DVD, a T-shirt, a mask, and a roll of toilet paper!"



The Talk Show Host laughs again, as he accepts Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's gifts.

Talk Show Host: "Very cheeky! You're not worried about Shogun getting really angry and come after you, are you?"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing shakes his head emphatically.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "The only flavor Shogun has is chicken! The man is like any other bully! He makes noise and shouts about how good he is! Until someone stands up and smacks him good! Right on that pimply emo goth butt of his! And I can't even say I'm the first one to do it! Those who watch the ULOL know that Sushi Primo and his Irish Carlito talked big about ruling the ULOL tag scene! Only to not count on a little wang of a man and Nao Fook Mi beating them!"

A clip plays, of the Anarchists losing the the Oriental Spices in the final of the tag title match.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "So Shogun decides to try and win back this title which I now carry! MY BELT, he would say! MY BELT, GIVE IT TO ME!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing takes off the title. Its shiny polish brightly reflects the studio lights as he dangles it in front of the camera.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Thank you for keeping it warm for me, Primo!"

Talk Show Host: "You're not afraid of what this guy or his buddy would do to you, are you?"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "My best answer for that, would be a highlight of highlights! Of my good friend, Primo! I gave a copy to your director! I hope it is ready!"

Talk Show Host: "I think it is. Let's roll it? Okay, roll it."

A highlight reel plays.

********

Shogun: "I do not care what you have to say at all! Not in the least. You see I could go every single week of the year dropping your name with some sort of insult if I wanted to. I could post stupid pictures of you and call you some arbitrary wrestler who does this or that or that this much talent of that much talent. The thing is Q...I do not find you worth enough of my time to drop your ridiculous name or put one of your stupids masks on the screen. You may be able to make everyone laugh. You may create eight hundred more jokes about me by the end of this year but I know that while you are busy cracking your jokes I will be busy winning more titles! I will be busy twisting idiotic clowns like you into pretzels!"

The clip segues into a match.

Jim Jackson: "Q frees himself! SLAPS SHOGUN SO HARD HE FLIPS TWICE IN THE AIR!"

Brad Blood: "HE JUST LANDED ON HIS FACE!"

[05.07:40 27/06/11] Shogun: I didnt expect a stupid fucking ending liek that :S

********

The clip cuts to another interview.

Shogun smirks as Johnson speaks


Shogun: "Wannabe you? Are you serious? Are you seriously joking right now? Let me remind YOU who I am Jack off!"

Shogun takes a step forward

Shogun: "I am the FIRST and longest reigning Primo Ultimo champion in the history of this company! I am a member of the most dominating tag team in wrestling today! I am a BTWE hall of famer! I am the man who put giving people nightmares on the map!"

It cuts into another match.

Jim Jackson: "Q frees himself! SLAPS SHOGUN SO HARD HE FLIPS TWICE IN THE AIR!"

Brad Blood: "HE JUST LANDED ON HIS FACE!"


********

Shogun: "No matter how many of you come out the results will remain the same. When I receive a shot for MY Primo Ultimo championship I will win. That title will go BACK around the waist of its rightful owner and all will be correct in the world of wrestling once again."

Shogun: "Here we are once again on the brink of insanity. A fatal four way match for Jack Off`s newly won Primo Ultimo championship. When you look through the contestants it looks like it might be an easy win doesn't it? "

Another segue, into another match.

Jim Jackson: "Shogun's screaming his head off! He's tapping out to Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing! What the hell move is that!"

Brad Blood: "MY GOD Q WINS! NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION!"

[05:15:06 27/06/11] Shogun : its bullshit

[05:15:19 27/06/11] Shogun : I`m sorry I dont normally get angry about it but 4 months in a row?


Brad Blood: "Shogun is absolutely shaking with rage! His biggest night, ruined in the blink of an eye! He's gonna make sure Q never walks again!"

Jim Jackson: "Q COUNTERED THEM! HE COUNTERED THEM!"

Brad Blood: "HOW!?! HOW!?!?"

Jim Jackson: "Q JUST DDTED BOTH SHADOW CALLAHAN AND SHOGUN THROUGH OUR TABLE! THE ANARCHISTS ARE TWITCHING HELPLESSLY!"

Shogun: "When the four of us step into this ring at the next PPV you are going to realize just how outclassed you really are my friend. You see as worthless as Jack off is in the ring he could still destroy a lamer like you! Even Bakla could find a way to make you look like its toy if you know what I mean."

Shogun looks out the the crowd when a little chuckle emits from it.

Shogun: "I can however guarantee than no matter how many thousands of people decide to interfere in our match the outcome will still be the same. It will go down in the history books that the FIRST Primo Ultimo champion will become the FIRST TWO TIME Primo Ultimo champion! The Demonic God will rise once again to the very top of the mountain! The BEST wrestler in the WORLD will make all of you look like ROOKIES! And there is nothing...that any of you can do about it."

[05:07:22 27/06/11] Shogun : I didnt expect a stupid fucking ending liek that :s

[05:16:18 27/06/11] Shogun : I`m just tired of seeing a screwjob every month


The highlight reel ends. The entire audience gets on their feet, giving Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing a standing ovation.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "When a bully of a demonic god skins his knee, who does HE pray to! WHERE IS HIS GOD NOW!"

Talk Show Host: "I guess you can't get any more clearer than that. One question, though: you got this title shot because Marcus Troy made it happen. Everyone knows how much you hate each other, and what you've done to each other. How did this happen?"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing dangles the title again in front of the camera.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It was the result of the many strange turns of life and justice! I did not seek this title that I now have! But I have it! Marcus Troy did not want to be in a children's show! And yet he was! Primo did everything except suicide to ignore me! And!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing gives the Primo Ultimo belt an emphatic shake.

Talk Show Host: "Ladies and gentlemen, the Primo Ultimo Champion of the world, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing! We'll be right back with Ke$ha!"

The Talk Show Host shakes hands with Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing, as the show goes to commercials.






Connoly is seen walking down the halls of the arena's backstage area. Lex Lexington walks up to him in a haste.

Lex Lexington: "Connoly, what are your thoughts on what went on earlier with the new GM Marcus Troy."

Connoly: "You know you're like a friggin' vulture, just hovering waiting for carcasses to come by. What are you talking about anyway, that yawn-fest that happened earlier, it was ridiculous, a bunch of damn chihuahuas yapping at each other."

Lex Lexington: "Well you were scheduled for a match, what are you going to do now that you're part of the boycott?"

Connoly looks at Lex with a puzzled look.

Connoly: "Who said I was part of the boycott?"

Lex Lexington: "Well, I thought since you went out there that...,"

Connoly: "Yeah, that's the problem, every one here thinks too damn much. I'm not part of this bloody boycott, I went out there because I was bored to tears. I saw potential for a good old brawl and a chance to get my hands on that scumbag Troy. Unfortunately, no one else has any balls to do anything but stand there and talk."

Lex Lexington: "Well, what could they do, as soon as you went after Troy you were beaten down by his new alliance and then drug off by security."

Connoly: "That's because I'm the only one who did anything, everyone else just stood there with their yaps open gathering flies. If some of those waists of flesh jumped in we could have done some damage, whats a few security guards, 15 years ago a few wrestlers could beat down a squad of security in no time, now apparently everyone's to afraid to do anything."

Lex Lexington: "Well now you have the wrath of Troy to worry about, I wouldn't be surprised if he has something planned for you during your match tonight."

Connoly: "I've dealt with blow hard GM's before, they are all the same. Loudmouth power mad lunatics who are as soft as marshmallows. He's going to try to make my life hell, and I'm in for a few knocks I'm sure. In the end he will self destruct like they all do, because they all act like bad asses, but in reality they are all cream puffs. You see if we would have charged Troy and his goofs out there it would have been all over. Sure it would have been a hell of a fight, but that pussy Troy would have been stuck in the middle of it all, and would have been broke in half in no time."

Connoly: "As for him doing something in my match tonight, I would expect nothing less. Like I said, I've dealt with ton's of GM's like him through my career, and yeah, they can do some damage when they want. The thing is though, and Troy should know this better then anyone, the Connoly's don't give up, so he can dish out whatever he wants, I can take it, and eventually I'll get my hands on him, and then its all over for Mr. Troy. Now get the hell out of the way."


Connoly shoves Lex to the side and continues down the hall as the scene fades to black.







The scene opens in William LaCroix's locker room. William is sitting on a rather nice couch, (that he obviously brought in himself to liven up the place), and is lacing up his boots for his match tonight. As he finishes, he leans back into the couch as he stares into the camera.

William LaCroix: "Well, it looks like my comments from last week ended up giving me a match with the old fossil. Mr. "Just let these punks say I'm past my prime! I'll show them! Look at me shake my fist angrily!" Well old man, you are way past your prime."

LaCroix leans forword and feigns a look of surprise.

William LaCroix: "Oh no! I said what should never have been said! I said Connoly was past his prime! Oh man, now the angry old man is going to bring out his little walker and try to beat me with it! I'm so scarred!"

LaCroix rolls his eyes.

William LaCroix: "Let's be serious, if that man was any sort of a threat, then Hell would be frozen over. He walks around like he's some sort of badass, when really, he's just an ass."

LaCroix does his best to make his voice gravelly and old sounding.

William LaCroix's impersonation of Connoly: "Oh! I can attack the boss, like my daughter did in the past! Woo! I'm soooo great! I think I beat anyone, including the boss, because my daughter defeated a bunch of hacks in the past that the boss sent at her. I'm not taking into consideration at all that LaCroix is going to rip my head off, because I am just a senile old man."

As LaCroix finishes, he stands up and walks a few steps away from the camera.

William LaCroix: "Like I said, Connoly is a relic. He can't perform at the level that he did in his prime, and he certainly can't defeat me. He doesn't belong back in my wrestling ring, he belongs in a senior citizen's home. But why should I complain? It's going to be an easy night, an easy paycheck, and an easy win. And, since Connoly attacked the boss, if I do extra damage I should acquire extra rewords."

LaCroix turns to face the camera once more before walking closer to it.

William LaCroix: "Listen to me very carefully, Connoly. You're nothing, you were anything, and you never will be anything but another statistic. I suggest you bring the EMTs and tell your little bitch of a daughter not to watch, because it's going to be a gruesome scene when I am finished with you tonight."



VS

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, Connoly!"

"Shut Me Up" by Mindless Self Indulgence erupts over the arena speakers. After a few moments Connoly walks out onto the stage, he is wearing a green plaid kilt, white t-shirt, and a long black leather coat. He pauses on the top of the ramp, a confident smirk on his face as he scans the crowd. He walks down the ramp and the slides into the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Ring veteran and father of our first ULOL dual champion Raven Connoly, Connoly has been making his presence felt ever since he made an appearance here in ULOL."

Brad Blood: "Connoly is bad-ass man! I mean he even went after the boss earlier. How could you not like him?"

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for tonight, William LaCroix!"

"Sonne" by Rammstein begins playing over the speakers as the big man from Switzerland walks down towards the ring. He ignores the crowd as he climbs up the metal stairs onto the ring apron. After wiping his feet on the apron, LaCroix swings one of his long legs over the top rope before doing the same with the other.

Jim Jackson: "An over-confident athletic powerhouse, William LaCroix has so far made mince meat of anyone he has met in the squared circle. But he has never met a man the caliber of Connoly before."

Brad Blood: "LaCroix is another bad-ass, we have a battle of the bad-asses, this brings bad-assery to a whole new level!"

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for tonight is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Experience against youth, who will prevail tonight? We're about to find out as the bell rings signifying the start of the match. Both men go at each other from the get go throwing punches left and right..."

Brad Blood: "LaCroix hits a right hand that stuns the older wrestler. Massive backbreaker, Connoly got nailed. LaCroix going for the early pin."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "It will take more than that to keep a veteran like Connoly down. Willaim LaCroix locks in a headlock... Connoly powers out of the headlock. Connoly slams William LaCroix. Fallaway slam by Connoly. William LaCroix hits the mat hard."

Brad Blood: "LaCroix gets right back up but is sent to the ropes by an Irish whip... LaCroix gets hit with a huge clothesline! Connoly hits a double axe handle before hooking the leg."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "William LaCroix kicks out at two! Connoly stuns William LaCroix with a huge uppercut. Connoly lays on a series of stiff chops lighting up William LaCroix's chest!"

Brad Blood: "Driven full nelson slam on LaCroix. Irish whip sends LaCroix to the ropes... Connoly misses a clothesline! LaCroix bounces on the ropes and comes charging back..."

Jim Jackson: "Powerful Spear by William LaCroix. Ring-shaking slam on Connoly. William LaCroix with an Irish whip sends Connoly to the corner... He starts throwing big rights on Connoly... Connoly ducks a wild right hand. The two competitors end up in the corner, grappling."

Brad Blood: "It's a battle for control in the corner and no one is winning... The referee tries to break them up! BOTH WRESLTERS HIT THE REF WITH ACCIDENTAL ELBOWS KNOCKING HIM OUT! That ref may be needing a dentist..."

Jim Jackson: "Both wrestler continue brawling along the ropes now... THEY BOTH GO OVER!!! The brawl has spilled to the outside! Both men now are armed with steel chairs. A new referee rushes to the ring..."

Brad Blood: "The referee is telling both Connoly and LaCroix to drop the illegal objects... THEY ARE NOT LISTENING!!! THEY GO AT EACH OTHER WITH THE STEEL CHAIRS!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Uh-oh, the ref is calling for the bell! It's a double DQ!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest has been delcared a draw due to a double disqualification!"

Brad Blood: "I think both Connoly and LaCroix ain't happy with the ref's call... They drop the chair and enter the ring! I think Jack B. Nimble need to get his butt out of there... TOO LATE!"

Jim Jackson: "William LaCroix lifts Jack B. Nimble into a fireman's carry before driving him/her head and neck first into the top turnbuckle. Keeping his hold he quickly charges across the ring to drive them into a second turnbuckle. LaCroix then drives Jack B. Nimble into a third turnbuckle before finishing his tour of the ring and driving him/her into the final turnbuckle before dropping Jack B. Nimble to the mat with a Death Valley Driver executing a Dementia!"

Brad Blood: "Connoly now has Jack B. Nimble in his arms... Connoly lifts the opponent on his shoulders and slams him on the mat head first executing a devastating Belfast Slam! Ooh... They may need something to scrape Jack B. Nimble off the canvas... Man I guess everyone including the match officials need to watch out for these two wrestlers...






The scene opens to the familiar gold star with the name "Andrew Hunter" upon it. But something's different... ah yes, the star's on the right side of the door this time!

Andrew Hunter: "OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! *splunk*"

The camera man flinches, as evidence from the shot jumping upwards momentarily. After a couple seconds, the cameraman proceeds to open the door. The camera spans around the room, the most interesting thing in the room is the "Jobber's View" desk and a full garbage can, along with a unwrapped wrappers, which, for some odd reason, aren't crumpled up. Some might notice that the wrappers say Exlax.
*splunk**pthhhh*

A noise is emitting from a door labeled "Crapper".

Andrew Hunter: "Whoever made exlax look like chocolate desereves a boot up their a-Agh!! *[b]psthhhhhhhhhhhttthh*"

The cameraman quickly picks up on what's happening and rushes back out of the room, shutting the door behind him as the shot fades.

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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 07/03/2011   Sun Jul 03, 2011 10:53 am

ZERO CALORIES!!!

ZERO SUGAR!!!

ZERO FAT!!!




Available in stores everywhere.





Camera opens up to find Chriso sitting in a restaurant next door to the ULOL premises.
He stands out compared to everyone else there who eye him with fear and suspicion. He takes a sip from the cup of tea in front of him and looks over at a young couple staring at him.


Chriso: "What? Do you find me....interesting???"

The couple quickly look back at their food and carry on eating.

Chriso smiles as his food arrives.


Waiter: "Where would you like it sir?"

Chriso: "Where do you think I want it? On my face? Give it to me!!!"

Waiter: "As you wish sir."

Suddenly the tray and plate are brought down over Chriso's head. Chriso falls down off his chair dazed holding his head. He looks up to see Zombie dressed in a waiters outfit. As Chriso stares at him he smiles and rips it off.

Zombie: "Thank god I don't have to wear that crappy outfit again."

Chriso: "Can't you let me have ONE meal before attacking me?"

Zombie: "Let me think......Uuuuuhhh.....No!"

Zombie grabs Chriso around the throat and hoists him up slamming him down through the table.

Zombie: "If you can't keep up Chriso..... Just admit that I am better than you!!!"

Chriso grabs a fork from the table and stabs it into Zombie's hand forcing him to release his grasp.

Chriso: "I wont admit what isn't true"

Zombie dives at Chriso but Chriso sidesteps and Zombie goes headlong into the other tables covered in food.
Chriso laughs as Zombie dives again spearing Chriso through the door and outside.
Chriso stays on his feet as he fights to hold onto Zombie.


Chriso: "Face it Zombie.... You can't win.... Just wait til we have another match!!! I'll prove to everyone once and for all who the most dominant and feared force in ULOL is!!!"

Zombie pushes harder as they head down to the ULOL car park






"Show Goes On" plays as Brostar runs out of the entrance tunnel and runs to the left-hand side of the stage, he raises his hands the no crowd cheered as Brostar runs down the ramp and into the ring, Brostar gets on a turnbuckle raises his hands again and does a back flip off the turnbuckle, he grabs the mic and speaks.

Brostar: "Hello everyone! Guess who's BACK!!"

The crowd gave a small cheer.

Brostar: "That's right I'm back better than ever I was before, I'm back not for people to hate me I'm back to be cheered and to be on your people's side."

Brostar: "I'm back for two things that is to win matches and become a World Champion."

Brostar: "Now for those that don't now, I was fired last time. You see me and the management have been having disagreements and bad stuff happen so than I went, for a couple of weeks, it felt like forever to get a second chance, but finally things worked out between me and the management, so it looks like I won't be going anywhere."

Brostar sits on one of the turnbuckles and continue to speak.

Brostar: "Now onto my opponent tonight, Alexander Conway. Alex your a good wrestler and I respect you of what you have done in the past with being Primo Ultimo Champion and now your the Ligero Maximo Champion, so far you success has been good."

Brostar: "Tonight in this very ring you better not underestimate me, better not take like the wrestler I was a couple of weeks ago. I'm not going to be an easy victory, tonight I am going to beat you and then I'm coming your Title, and become the new Ligero Maximo Champion!"


Brostar finishes speaking as he hands the mic back and awaits for his opponent.




VS

Jim Jackson: "Well this match has been going on for the past two weeks or so. After the last match that was booked ended with a double DQ."

Brad Blood: "And now they have another match here tonight that is most likely going to go the same way."

Jim Jackson: "Well both wrestlers are pretty tired after fighting each other constantly; maybe we won’t see much of a match here."

Jasmine Lee: "This next match is scheduled for One Fall. Introducing first ..."

Brad Blood: "Wait a minute! Zombie just got thrown out from under the titantron!!"

Jim Jackson: "Chriso is following behind! Chriso has Zombie by the scruff of the neck and now he’s pulling him down to the ring."

Brad Blood: "I suppose if they’re already fighting then what’s the point in introductions?"

Jasmine Lee: "Umm ok … the referee for this matchup, Jack B. Nimble! LET THE LUNACY BE... CONTINUE!!"

Jim Jackson: "And obviously Chriso in control at this moment in time. We have seen the momentum change between the two for the past couple of weeks. Chriso with Zombie loaded up onto his shoulders!!"

Brad Blood: "He must really be trying to finish this one up quick"!!

Jim Jackson: "Going for the Chrisonator!!"

Brad Blood: "But Zombie firing left and rights to Chriso! And Zombie manages to stun Chriso enough to slip down."

Jim Jackson: "Chriso blocks a kick from Zombie! These wrestlers just going back and forth here! Maybe we will have a match! Chriso hits a right hand and now a left and now a right!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie lunges wildly at Chriso with those dangerous jaws open ready to take a bite! Chriso dodges and the referee was right behind him. Zombie accidently takes a bite out of the referee!!! Zombie shocked and so is Jack B. Nimble!!"

Jim Jackson: "Aaahhh! Nimble just fainted as blood pours out of his shoulder!"

Brad Blood: "Yeah uhh… we’re gonna need a new referee out here!!"

Jim Jackson: "AND paramedics!! Nimble don’t look good! CHRISO WITH ZOMBIE ON HIS SHOULDERS!! AND CHRISO JUST SLAMMED ZOMBIE WITH A HUGE CHRISONATOR!!! CHRISO MAKING USE OF A DISTRACTED ZOMBIE!! CHRISO WITH THE SHOULDERS DOWN!! THIS MUST BE IT!!"

Brad Blood: "But there’s no referee!! Come on Jim! It only just happened!! Here comes Don Q. Hotte!! He quickly drags Jack B. Nimble out of the ring and enters it. Chriso still with the shoulders down!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie kicks out! And Chriso annoyed at what might have been!"

Brad Blood: "Maybe he should’ve taken the bite from Zombie and he might’ve won!"

Jim Jackson: "Paramedics finally here tending to Jack B. Nimble! Quickly giving him that zombie antidote before going any further!"

Brad Blood: "Back to the action in the ring! Chriso has Zombie in a sleeper hold! Maybe the thought of sleeping after all this fighting will put Zombie down!!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie slipping in and out of consciousness. The referee starting to assess Zombie! The referee lifts up Zombie’s arm and it falls limply!"

Don Q. Hotte: "ONE!!"

Brad Blood: "The referee again with Zombie’s arm! But it reluctantly falls and stays up as Zombie pushes his way up to his feet."

Jim Jackson: "Chriso still keeping that hold locked in. Zombie twists himself and fires some punches to Chriso’s midsection! And Zombie with a jawbreaker on Chriso! Chriso stunned but still on his feet after that! And Zombie now with a spinning neckbreaker!!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie continuing his attack as he has Chriso by the head. And Zombie devastates Chriso with a massive face-first slam! Zombie with Chriso’s shoulders down on the canvas!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "Only a two count as Chriso kicks out!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie shaking his head and lashes out with rights and lefts to Chriso! Zombie to his feet now and …"

Jim Jackson: "And not looking too good!"

Brad Blood: "Oh shiii… MOVE!!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie just vomited all over the outside just in front of us! Almost landed on Brad as it was projectile vomited!"

Brad Blood: "Oh shit! It stinks!!"

Jim Jackson: "Just be thankful it didn’t land on you Brad! Obviously all the fighting for the past two weeks is taking its toll on Zombie! But he looks somewhat better after that!"

Brad Blood: "Can we get someone to clean this up?"

Jim Jackson: "You’ll just have to put up with it Brad! At least just concentrate on the match!"

Brad Blood: "I’ll try mum! I mean … Jim!"

Jim Jackson: "Um … I’ll ignore that … Zombie now with Chriso to his feet and now on with Chriso on his shoulders! Zombie PLANTS Chriso with a huge powerbomb!!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie going for the pin!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Brad Blood: "Only a two once again! Both of these wrestlers trying to take advantage of every move!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie frustrated now as he knows how long he has been fighting! These two behemoths giving it all! Zombie now with Chriso loaded on his shoulders! And plants Chriso with a death valley driver!"

Brad Blood: "The shoulders are down again! Zombie trying a pin after that death valley driver!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr…"

Brad Blood: "And only a two count but so, so close!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie arguing with the referee saying he was too slow! Chriso just bolted upwards and glaring at Zombie! Zombie fires a punch but Chriso blocks it and fires one back that finds its target!"

Brad Blood: "Chriso quickly grapples with Zombie and slams Zombie to the canvas!"

Jim Jackson: "That one shook the ring! Chriso hooks the leg after that one!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "That got as far as the two count!"

Brad Blood: "Chriso not happy as he brings a knee down onto Zombie’s head! That smell is disgusting! And why is the vomit a luminous green colour?"

Jim Jackson: "Chriso brings Zombie to his feet and irish whips him to the ropes! Zombie bounces off the ropes and ducks a clothesline attempt! Zombie hoping to get the upper hand but Chriso puts those hopes to rest with a quick clothesline in retaliation to that counter!!"

Brad Blood: "Chriso looking to finish this one as he climbs the turnbuckle! Zombie slowly getting to his feet and Chriso waiting on that turnbuckle! Zombie turns and gets FLOORED BY HUGE FLYING CLOTHESLINE!!"

Jim Jackson: "Chriso going straight into the pin off that big clothesline!!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "But once again can only manage a two as Zombie kicks out!"

Brad Blood: "Chriso looks tired and frustrated. He brings Zombie to his feet and grapples with Zombie! But Zombie overpowers Chriso and has him by the ears!!"

Jim Jackson: "ZOMBIE WITH A MURDEROUS LOOK IN HIS EYE AS HE BRINGS HIS HEAD BACK AND VIOLENTLY HEADBUTTS CHRISO EXECUTING THAT POWERFUL DEADBUTT!!"

Brad Blood: "Surely this must do it!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match via pinfall, Zombie!!"

Jim Jackson: "And Zombie puts an end to this fight! Zombie celebrates his win! And he so he should! After a long two week fight has a winner been decided? After tonight I would …"

Brad Blood: "Wait a minute! Chriso just sat upright! And now he’s staring at Zombie!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie is still celebrating and he hasn’t noticed Chriso yet! Chriso attacks Zombie from behind with an elbow! Now Chriso fires right hands down on Zombie!"

Brad Blood: "Chriso really punishing Zombie! Now he has Zombie loaded onto his shoulders! And a massive impact as Chriso plants Zombie with the Chrisonator!! This one now seems far from over!"

Jim Jackson: "Chriso leaving the ring with the feeling that a measure of revenge has been taken! And as you say Brad this one, once again, is far from over!"

Brad Blood: "Can this be cleaned up now? I think I’m gonna puke as well!"






A white van with tinted windows is resting in the car park. Two large men in security uniform open the double back doors of the van and a man in his twenties appears from inside. He is wearing a green straightjacket, jeans but no shoes. The two men escort him through the car park. He starts to talk as he is being escorted.

Fettel Marston: "I'm not sure about this Dad. It's all very strange."

Dad: "Don't you worry boy! I'm right here with you, all the way. This is what we've been working towards. You've been a champion all your life and will continue to be."

Fettel Marston: "Thanks Dad. I guess I'm just nervous."

The guards escorting Fettel look at each other and smirk as they watch Fettel talk to himself. "Dad" obviously a man created in Fettel's mind since he was a boy and now "Dad" has manifested itself into something much bigger than any of the doctors or psychologists could have anticipated. "Dad" now a permanent manager to Fettel.

Dad: "Everyone gets like that boy! I bet even the champions here were nervous the day they came here! All the best get it!"

Fettel smiles broadly and starts to get embarrassed in front of the guards.

Dad: "That's my boy! Now let's kick some ass!"


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 07/03/2011   Sun Jul 03, 2011 10:53 am



The taping of the latest episode of The Not So Late Night Show is about to wrap up. We see the show's host, along with international music star Ke$ha, sharing space with the gilded grappler of the ring, the man known only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. The fans cheer loudly and excitedly as the Talk Show Host greets them one last time.

Talk Show Host: "Welcome back! Our thanks to our guests! The Primo Ultimo Champion of the world, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. Along with Ke$ha, and naturist advocate Ivana Zvinkter. Join us tomorrow, as we'll have--"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing quickly raises a note he's holding, while Ke$ha checks him out.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Pardon me! But I have to make a very special announcement for a very special johnny!"

Talk Show Host: "Sure. We still got 20 seconds."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing quickly reads from the note.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Since Nonstop Jack Johnson does not read what I write, here are the talking points! Marcus Troy will pay you for the belt! You'll probably get your rematch! Shogun comes in chicken flavor! And BTWE! Rhymes with junior varsity! Good night!"

Talk Show Host: "Oh! Good night then!"

The fans cheer happily, while the Talk Show Host and his guests share a laugh as the show ends.






The scene fades into The British Hawk and Lady B's locker room. The two are present in the locker room, but in the middle of a make out session. The TV is on, viewing the show as it happens, but it's obviously being ignored. Lady B then slowly leans back onto the bench. She lays on the misplaced remote control which increases the volume of the TV. TBH jumps up and looks at the TV. The boycott segment is being aired. Lady Bianca de Sade sits up and turns the volume down on the TV. They both study the segment.

Lady Bianca de Sade: "Baby, we should go out there and join this boycott. ULOL was getting better whilst he was gone."

TBH sighs.

The British Hawk: "No, we can't."

Lady Bianca de Sade: "What? Why not? We can survive without paychecks. After all, most of our money come from most of our sponsors."

The British Hawk: "I know we can but it's not that. You see Marcus believes that I owe him a favor, because he gave me a job here when I really needed it. Now it looks like he really needs a favor. Which is why we are gonna avoid Marcus at all costs."

Lady B rolls her eyes.

The British Hawk: "Listen babe, it would be fine if he was only the Vice-GM, but he's not he has full power over ULOL again. He's dangerous."

Lady Bianca de Sade: "Alright.. It seems I'll have no choice. But it'll be nice to gun for the now vacant Campeon No Masculino. Poor Raven. She's worked so hard to get those titles and now Marcus just takes them away. Oh look, now Eunice decides to not take sides."

TBH shakes his head.

The British Hawk: "I'm not a fan of Eunice, never was ever since that situation with Taufik and, the then known, Stephanie. She got involved before, I don't see why she doesn't want to get involved now."

Lady Bianca de Sade: "Yeah, well we're gonna have to keep an eye on her, see what's really going on. Now your match is coming up. You're gonna have to start preparing. Felix is a former Campeones Camperno."

The British Hawk: "Yeah, well I'm a former World Tag Team and Intercontinental Champion. Felix has nothing on me. But you're right, I do have to prepare. So come here babe."

The British Hawk grabs Lady B and starts making out with her yet again. Lady B slides the remote off the bench. It falls to the floor. Lady B slowly leans back so she is laying on the bench. The two continue to make out, the TV becomes ignored once again. The scene fades to black.






Andrew Hunter is walking through the hallways of the ULOL when the yelling of his name causes him to stop. The camera turns to show Christopher Bain running closer before stopping beside Andrew.

Christopher Bain: "Andrew Hunter! Just the man I've been looking for! I don't want to take up too much of your time, so I'll make this pretty quick. Now, next week, neither one of us are booked to wrestle. But, I heard that The DWMA are without opponents next week. This creates a nice opportunity for just about anybody to set up and take them on."

Bain directs a finger at himself.

Christopher Bain: "And that's when I thought, that I just had to get involved in this. An opportunity like this doesn't come around all the time. Imagine, whoever would defeat them, would be pretty much guaranteed a title shot against them. But for me to take advantage of this, I needed a tag team partner, and I thought to myself, who better than the other man who was looked upon as a jobber before his recent win streak. I know what you can do in the ring, and I know what I can do in the ring, and I think we have the potential to be a very exciting team. What do you say? Even if you don't want form a permanent team, this one time will beat not having a match, right?"

After several seconds of looking Bain over from top to bottom, Andrew greets Bain with a small grin.

Andrew Hunter: "Bain... you surprised me. Here I was, walking down the halls, eating some chocolates, and then there you are with a brilliant proposal to both earn popularity and... pay off debts, I believe?"

Andrew tosses a wrapper that he was apparently holding the entire time into a conveniently placed nearby garbage can.

Andrew Hunter: "I have absolutely no reason to deny, and several reasons to accept. It will be my pleasure to work with a man like you."

Andrew sticks out his hand, waiting for Bain.

Bain takes Hunter's hand and shakes it.

Christopher Bain: "Thank you, Andrew, this means a lot to me. You're right, I do have a bit of debt piling up that I really need to pay off, and this is a step in the right direction for me."

Bain releases Hunter's hand before continuing.

Christopher Bain: "So that only leaves a few things left that we need to do, the most important of which, the thinking up of a great tag team name!"

Andrew Hunter: "Why do people always jump to the team names? We'll think of that at a later date. For now, I'm going to my locker room to get some more of these chocolates. I still can't believe the drug store had them..."

Andrew slowly turns away from Bain, breaking eye contact for the first time since they met, before walking away.

Christopher speaks loud enough for Hunter to hear him even as he walks away.

Christopher Bain: "I like your style! I'll met up with you later."

Christopher begins walking down the hallway, back the way he came from, with the camera still beside him.

Christopher Bain: "There was something wrong with that guy's chocolates, I could smell it. Either he bought some cheap stuff, has bad taste in chocolate, or that wasn't chocolate. Or maybe it was just because he bought it from a drug store."

Bain laughs at the idea as the scene fades.



VS

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Felix Schwarz!"

Felix Schwarz makes his way to the ring without any music nor fanfare.

Jim Jackson: "Well Felix Schwarz hasn't seen singles action for a while now, will he be able to overcome his opponent tonight?"

Brad Blood: "You mean The British Birdie? Hah! Didn't he again come up short last week in the PPV? He'll probably come up short again tonight."

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for the night, The British Hawk!"

"Rebirthing" by Skillet starts to play over the arena. The fans start to cheer loudly as The British Hawk rises from beneath he stage via a lift underneath the stage. He is wearing his usual wrestling attire and with a black hooded jacket with the hood up. He walks off the lift and raises his arms up triggering stage pyros to go off. He walks down to the ramp and enters the ring. He climbs onto a turnbuckle and removes his hood and taunts to the fans who cheer loudly.

Jim Jackson: "Ever since his return, The British Hawk has been floundering, he needs to win this match badly if he is to be taken as a serious competitor here in ULOL."

Brad Blood: "He's in his twenties and he's already washed up, that's what I think."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for tonight is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Both wrestlers begin by circling each other cautiously. The British Hawk charges in first, Felix Schwarz dodges a clothesline and takes The British Hawk down with a legsweep."

Brad Blood: "Flying shoulder tackle by Schwarz sends TBH to the mat. TBH gets back to his feet... Schwarz is waiting for him! Full nelson slam on TBH. Cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Felix Schwarz locks in a headlock keeping The British Hawk grounded. The crowd boos at the lack of action but Felix Schwarz just keeps the hold trying to tire out The British Hawk."

Brad Blood: "TBH pushes out of Schwarz's hold. Spinning back kick from TBH connects. TBH hits a dropkick on Schwarz. Damn, Schwarz let TBH get his groove. TBH for the cover..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "The match seems to be picking up... Felix Schwarz walks right into a face crusher! He's back down on the mat again... The British Hawk hooks the leg...."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Schwarz kicks out at two! Schwarz gets up... Ack! A dropkick by TBH sends him back down! TBH goes high risk... He flies... WAHAHAHAHA! TBH only gets knees on a splash. Hah! That grounded the birdie."

Jim Jackson: "Spinebuster by Felix Schwarz just keeps The British Hawk down! Felix Schwarz hits a leg drop before hooking the leg."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Damn! TBH still won't stay down. Irish whip by Schwarz on TBH... Massive lariat sends TBH to the mat! Schwarz again goes for the cover."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Bodyslam by Felix Schwarz. Felix Schwarz fires off some right and left hands. The British Hawk blocks the suplex attempt. Felix Schwarz takes a flying neckbreaker from The British Hawk. Good counter by The British Hawk!"

Brad Blood: "Oh no, Schwarz doesn't know where he is! Hurricane DDT by TBH! Schwarz is out. Schwarz is stunned as TBH heads to the top rope. Don't tell me..."

Jim Jackson: "The British Hawk jumps onto the turnbuckle and taunts to the fans. He leaps off the top rope performing a 450 degree somersault and splashing onto the opponent with a brutal 450 Splash!! The crowd goes wild! Here comes the cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "DOH!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, The British Hawk!"

Jim Jackson: "Like a phoenix rising from the ashes The British Hawk soars high tonight with a win over Felix Schwarz."

Brad Blood: "It was just plain dumb luck I tell you! Plain dumb luck!"






The scene opens with Fettel Marston still being escorted through the halls backstage. He still has the straightjacket on and seems to be talking to himself once again. The guards look at him worriedly and then look to each other. They stop in front of a door which has a sign upon it. It reads Eunice Winslow Vice General Manager. The guards tap Fettel on shoulder which stops him mid conversation and motions to the door.

Fettel Marston: "Is this good?"

Dad: "Of course it's good boy! This woman is the Vice General Manager in this place! Here begins our journey! I'll deal with this! Just watch and learn!"

Fettel Marston: "Ok if you say so Dad. You always know best!"

Fettel smiles to himself and enters the office. Fettel approaches the desk and begins to speak.

Dad: "Hello! You must be Eunice Winslow! I am Dad! Nice to meet you! I came here in the hope you would give my boy here a contract to fight in this federation!"

Fettel smiles broadly awaiting a reply as his Dad personality takes over to negotiate.


Eunice P. Winslow looks at the young wannabe wrestler in the straight jacket standing alone with her in the room.

Eunice P. Winslow: "I'm sorry but I don't think that we have an appointment."

She then takes another look at the kid struggling around in the straight jacket... A deep frown is seen on her face.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Besides, I do see some things that are raising alarm bells if you know what I mean."

The VGM of ULOL gestures to the straight jacket the young wrestler is sporting.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Er... Tell you what, I shall have the resident doctor take a look at you first to see if you are um... Mentally fit to wrestle. His name is Dr. Booboo B. Gone, give him a call, when he gives the okay, I shall give you a contract."

Mrs. Winslow calls for someone to escort the young man out as the scene fades to black.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 07/03/2011   Sun Jul 03, 2011 10:54 am



Raven Connoly bursts through the curtains exiting the arena area. Having not only found out that Marcus Troy is back in charge, but also being stripped of her two titles she has a look of absolute rage in her eyes. Lex Lexington see's her and runs up to her.

Lex Lexington: "Raven, what are your thoughts on what just happened out there?"


Raven Connoly: "FUCK OFF LEX!!!!"

Lex jumps out of the way as Raven storms past him, the camera man quickly follows Raven down the hall. Raven kicks the door open to the arena garage. She walks into the garage and stops suddenly, she looks over and see's a large black limo, instantly recognizing it to be Marcus Troys. She walks over to one of the production crew crates that are by the rear entrance and throws it open. She digs through the crate, she comes up with nothing and throws open another crate, she reaches in and pulls out a large crow bar. She walks over to the limo and smashes in the windshield, a large man steps out of the limos drivers door, he looks at the smashed windshield, he then looks at Raven. The man starts to walk towards Raven, Raven lifts the crow bar slightly and shoots the man a deadly glare. The man reconsiders interfering and rushes off into the arena. Raven continues to slam the crow bar against the limo, smashing out all the windows and destroying the body. After a few minutes of beating the hell out of the Limo, she throws the crow bar down and walks off into the garage area. She hops onto a bright red Kawasaki ZZ-R 250 and speeds out of the arena garage just as security rush into the garage area from the arena.




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The night is punctuated with the honking of numerous cars, and the cheers and chants of numerous wrestling fans, as they line up along the streets in front of the ULOL, only a short time after Uno Mas ended. They loudly cheer when a gold parade bus drives out from the ULOL parking lot. Festive banners NEW CHAMPION and VICTORIOUS are draped all over the top of the bus, along with large, blown-up banners showing the masked features of the man all these people are celebrating.

He is none other than the crowd-pleasing champion of the squared circle, the organ or originality, and the daredevil in disguise. Yet, he is the man known to the whole world only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello to each and every one of you loving people and loyal fans!"

The cheers and cars honking loudly rock the night. All for him and only him. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing raises his new championship belt for everyone to see and savor the moment. Cameras flash around him, as fans and photographers record this moment for posterity.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I can honestly tell you I had not been seeking this title to glorify it! For so long, the Primo Ultimo only stood for the baddest things that could happen to my people! The only thing that could have been done, was to promote it to another plane of existence! With a one-way ride through a wood chipper!"

The fans cheer as one, remembering the shower of leather and gold shards when the old title belt was destroyed.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "But the ULOL is a strange place sometimes! Do the right thing, and they tell you to go away! But barbecue the best friend of the General Manager, and you're in the spotlight! Fighting for championships and getting for your own action figure!"

One of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's countrymen brings out an action figure of Carlito. The one with the afro.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I was asked to pay compensation to the ULOL for destroying a symbol of evil decay! But the ULOL have not paid compensation to my poor countryman! He was turned into a fashion accessory! What's their idea of compensation! An autographed piccie of that zombie, with his meat belt!"

Boos are heard when Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing says this.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "But another strange thing happened one day! Marcus Troy, that Unfriend of my people, offered to pay for this new title belt! He has also offered to pay for the pain and suffering of my people! There will be aid and support! My people will use these donations to rebuild our beautiful but bombed-out homeland! There will be schools! And new roads! And bridges! And all the things a nation should have!"

A bloodcurdling, anguished scream startles everyone. Many stare at the ULOL building.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "That is probably Primo! But! Enough about him! We have a parade to celebrate!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's countrymen blow kazoos, as the new Primo Ultimo hoists the title above his head again. The parade bus rolls out, with the fans surrounding it. Many try to reach and touch the bus, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing and the title, wanting to remember everything about this great night.






VS


"Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F blares throughtout the arena as Alexander Conway steps out from the backstage of the ULOL with the Ligero Maximo Championship in hand. He looks over the booing audience before he walks down to the ring. He takes a microphone from a ringhand before climbing into the ring and walking to the center of it.

Alexander Conway: "After the Pay Per View went off the air last week, I went to have a talk with the newly reinstated Marcus Troy. I told him what I am about to tell all of you. That Ligero Maximo Championship might as well be known as the Television Championship, because every time that I am in a match against a lightweight competitor, that title is going to be on the line! Why would I basically hand out title shots? It's simple, none of the lightweights can defeat me in a fair contest, and I am willing to prove that."

Alexander shrugs off the crowd's boos.

Alexander Conway: "You people don't have to like it, you just have to accept it. Back to the important things, however. Troy decided at that same meeting last week, that I should face Brostar this week."

A look of disgust makes it's way onto Alexander's face.

Alexander Conway: "I realize I said I'd put the Ligero on the line against anyone, but Brostar? He's a no-talent loser from Australia who doesn't understand how to wrestle, how to speak on the mic, or even how to play his character! Why should I give an idiot like him a chance like this? But, I had already told Marcus that anyone could get a shot, so it appears that Marcus has a sick sense of humor. Obviously he wants to see Brostar get defeated in humiliating fashion, and trust me, it won't take long for me to make him tap out. An easy night and an easy paycheck makes for a good night thought, I guess."

Alexander waves a finger at the crowd.

Alexander Conway: "But that's not really why I came out here. Last week, at the PPV, another thing happened. A good friend of mine, who signed a contract with the ULOL on that day, came out to ringside during my match and watched as I destroyed that insignificant fly named Christopher Bain. But, since he is going to be an active part of this roster, I thought it was only proper for me to invite him to come out here right now and introduce himself as the next big thing in this company."

Alexander looks towards the backstage of the ULOL as he awaits his friend's entrance.

"Living in Dog Years" by Neurotica begins playing throughout the arena as the man Alexander was refering to steps out from the backstage. As he walks towards the ring, some members of the crowd boo him because of his association with Alexander, while the rest remain silent. Alexander begins applauding the man as he grabs a microphone and climbs into the ring.

?: "It's good to see you, Alexander."

The man grabs Alexander's hand and shakes it before turning to the crowd.

?: "Let's see, where do I start? Oh, nowhere, because these people don't deserve an introduction."

The audience begins booing as Alexander snickers. The man turns to face the backstage before speaking again.

?: "The guys in the back, however, do deserve an introduction. Or, as I would like to phrase it, they deserve to know who will be replacing them. I am the wolf that tracks the lambs, I am Ethan O'Reilly!"

Alexander again applauds Ethan while the fans boo him.

Ethan O'Reilly: "Now, let me tell you why you should be afraid to step in the ring with me. Alexander, am I not just as good, if not better, than you in this ring?"

Alexander looks a bit taken aback.

Alexander Conway: "I don't know about you being better, or even as good as me, skill-wise, but you're pretty damn close. Thanks to your strength, yes, you can defeat certain opponents faster and more easily than I can."

Ethan O'Reilly: "For Alexander, of all people, to admit that, then I must be pretty freakin' good, eh? And obviously, I'm Canadian, which automatically means that I'm better than half of this roster!"

Ethan shakes his head in disgust to the crowd's boos. He exchanges a few Pro-Canada words with Alexander before continuing.

Ethan O'Reilly: "Why else should they be afraid to face me? Well, I've served for four years in the Canadian Armed Forces, and I have done and seen things that most of those guys have not. I've worked harder in those four years, then most of them have in their whole life! Not only that, but after I finished my four years of service, I became an MMA Fighter. Did you know, that I was 16-3? I bet not. Did you also know, that all of wins except for four were against non-Canadian? All of my losses were from Canadians, because the only person that can defeat a Canadian, is another Canadian."

Again the crowd boos, causing Ethan to roll his eyes.

Ethan O'Reilly: "It's my first time speaking out here, and already this booing thing is getting annoying. At least chant something like "You Suck"."

Upon Ethan's request, some of the fans begin chanting "You Suck".

Ethan O'Reilly: "Thank you, that at least breaks the repetition. Now, the last reason that these other wrestlers should be afraid of me, is because I am one-half of the Lords of the Ring with Alexander Conway! And that's not just the name of teaming, but it's the truth! And this truth, is a nightmare for the rest of the roster. Trust me, you haven't seen "The Excellence of Execution" until you've seen Alexander and I dominating in this ring."

More boos flow from the crowd for the association of their tag team to Bret Hart's nickname.

Alexander Conway: "Speaking of dominating in this ring, that's what I'm about to do. My match with Brostar is in about.....right now."

Alexander rolls out of the ring and grabs a steel chair before unfolding it and setting it on the floor beside the commentary table. He motions for Ethan to join him, which Ethan does.

Alexander Conway: "Just like last week, I would like you to sit here and watch the slaughter commence! Besides, I want to talk about how you've been for the past year in about a minute, right after I defeat that failure from Australia."

As Ethan sits down on the steel chair, Alexander rolls back into the ring.

Alexander Conway: "I know you folks love to see me wrestle, but unfortunately, this one's only going to be as long as Little Wang is tall. Which means it's going to be short, just in case you people were wondering."

The crowd boos Alexander's overconfidence as Alexander speaks over them.

Alexander Conway: "Brostar! You shouldn't have been so happy about this match, because now you're going to look like more of a fool when I defeat you in what will be one of the ULOL's fastest matches. You want to be the Ligero Maximo Champion, Brostar? Well, guess what? That'll never happen! I'm going to crush your dreams and your aspirations! Welcome to your life, Brostar, the life of a jobber!"

Alexander tosses the microphone aside as he waits for Brostar to come out and the introductions to begin.

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentleman, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the ULOL Ligero Maximo Championship! Introducing first, the challenger, Brostar!"

Show Goes On" by Lupe Fiasco plays as Brostar comes out and raises his hands as he walks down the ramp and runs into the ring, he goes up to the second turnbuckle raises his hands again, Then he jumps off with a backflip.

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent, the ULOL Ligero Maximo Champion, Alexander Conway!"

Alexander raises an arm into the air before focusing on Brostar as he awaits the start of the match.

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this contest is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"


Jim Jackson: "As the bell rings Brostar punches Alexander right on the temple!"

Brad Blood: "It looks like Brostar wants Alexander to punch him back."

Jim Jackson: "Alexander fakes a punch before catching Brostar behind the ear with an enzuigiri kick. Alexander quickly picks Brostar up and throws him with a release German Suplex. Conway then waits for Brostar to get back to his feet before hitting Brostar with a super kick! The Signum Excellence!"

Brad Blood: "I think Conway's shoulder is bothering him again, look at the grimace on his face. It looks like Conway is going to take it out on Brostar! Alexander grabs Brostar's arm and locks it into a leg scissor before locking his hands over Brostar's face and pulling his head backwards!"

Jim Jackson: "Alexander's got Brostar in The Prophecy! Brostar's taping out!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the match via submission and still the ULOL Ligero Maximo Champion, Alexander Conway!"

Brad Blood: "Wuhahahaha! That match ended as quickly as Alexander said it would! And Alexander is still wrenching Brostar's head back with The Prophecy!"

Jim Jackson: "He won the match, isn't that enough? Ethan's just jumped into the ring and is pulling Conway off of Brostar! It's good to see that at least somebody cares about the health of the other wrestlers."

Brad Blood: "Don't speak so soon, Jim. Ethan's lifting Brostar up for a powerbomb while Alexander is climbing onto the top rope! Alexander leaps and kicks Brostar's head with an enzuigiri as Ethan throws Brostar backwords and into the turnbuckle face-first! I guess Conway was also telling the truth when he said that he was going to crush Brostar's dreams, hahahaha!"

Jim Jackson: "Why can't they ever just get the win and then leave?"

Brad Blood: "Because wrestling is violent, Jim, and that wouldn't be violent. Though one thing Jim, I think Conway and O'Reilly did something Brostar wasn't able to do..."

Jim Jackson: "What's that Brad?"

Brad Blood: "They got the crowd to pity Brostar and slowly turn their support to him..."

Jim Jackson: "You may be right Brad, the actions of Conway and O'Reilly definitely will make at least some of the crowd give their support to Brostar, even if it is "pity" support."




Jim Jackson: "What a night Brad, Marcus Troy certainly rocked the foundations of ULOL tonight."

Brad Blood: "Rocked? That was a magnitude 8.0 earthquake Jim."

Jim Jackson: "The question is what will become of ULOL? The boycott will certainly have an effect on ULOL... Find out next week folks as the boycott saga unfolds. Good night and good fight!"


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