Lucha Loco 05/08/2011

Subject: Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Sun May 08, 2011 10:51 am

Jim Jackson: "Welcome and good evening ladies and gentlemen to another great night of wrestling. Things have been brewing here in Lucha Loco and tonight some of those pots are ready to spill over."

Brad Blood: "That's right Jim, we have a great card in store for everyone including a main event where Taufik tries to take the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly back in a cage match!"

Jim Jackson: "Not only that, another thing that has people perplexed is the sobriety of our general manager Allister King. The death of his best friend has shocked him into doing what rehab and AA meetings can't."

Brad Blood: "Well what are we waiting for Jim? Let's get this show rolling. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

"So this must be hell..." That's probably the thought that passed through the mind of Marcus Troy as he sits in a corner in a bare one meter by one meter room. No windows are available and only a small hole the two inches in diameter brings light during the daytime. The hole is also where water is poured down for him to drink and also where they throw down his food which consists of dead bugs and worms.

The former general manager of the United League of Lunatics tries to rub his hands together for warmth as he try to figure out how to escape, if escape is still possible. They have beaten him, tortured him with ants, pulled out his finger and toe nails, even attached his testicles to a 12 volt car battery yet he endured... Q and his damned countrymen may have tried to break him but Marcus Troy's will is still intact... So now he just waits... He waits for an opportunity to escape and escape he shall...

Marcus Troy starts to chuckle out to himself, others may think he has lost his mind at this point... But Marcus may have just figured out a way to procure his freedom as he grins in the darkness...

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

As the camera enters the locker room area, Christopher Bain can be seen doing some push-ups. As Bain notices the cameraman, he quickly hops up.

Christopher Bain: "You have really got to stop showing up when I'm working out."

Bain shrugs his shoulders.

Christopher Bain: "I should probably just be glad that I have this time. Well, I finally got the opportunity I desired. Alexander has finally given me a chance to face him, but first, I have to defeat an opponent of his choosing. Who will that be? I don't know, he decided it should be some sort of surprise, go figure."

Bain wags a finger at the camera.

Christopher Bain: "But, that's not what is important. What is important, is what I make of this opportunity. If I have my way, I'll make the most of this, score a win, and go on to face Alexander Conway."

Bain shrugs his shoulders.

Christopher Bain: "We'll just have to wait and see what happens though, I suppose."

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

Picturesque cottages are seen, standing in a countryside that's straight out of the postcards and travel books. But we see that several of the small houses have piles of flowers, greeting cards, candles and teddy bears at their front door. Several groups of people mill about, some staring at the flowers and candles being left behind, some quietly sobbing.

Reporter: "Just last week, a horrible attack took place here in this hamlet in Switzerland. What we know is that a zombie, apparently the same one who slaughtered a crowd of wrestling fans a few months ago, somehow arrived here, and tore through this quiet, sleepy village."

We see clips of mourners paying their respects, as the reporter continues.

Reporter: "The authorities were unable to find the zombie, and the trail had gone cold for them."

Police: "We've sent sniffer dogs and search helicopters out, but the trail's dead cold."

Reporter: "This attack mirrors the massacre committed on those who were the countrymen of the international wrestling icon known as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. That attack, which happened on a wrestling show, drew international outrage, and was believed to have been orchestrated by the former general manager of the company, who had a grudge with Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. Several of the masked wrestler's people have come here to offer their condolences."

A group of mourners is being interviewed. From their appearance, they are apparently from out of town.

Woman: "This is tragic. Bad enough that our people got killed like that. But now the Swiss have suffered too. And for what?"

Woman 2: "We just had to come here. I don't know if we can help them with their grief, but we had to try. Have to let them know they're not alone."

Reporter: "It is a sad link tying these two nations together, as Mother's Day approaches. One nation coming to help another cope with their sorrow."

The group of people from Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's homeland are seen talking and sharing their grief with the villagers who have lost so much. Many tears are shared between them.

Old Man: [Please tell them we really appreciate you coming all the way here to offer condolences.]

The translator shares with Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's countrymen what the old Swiss man has said.

Woman 2: "We brought some delicacies to help cheer you up. We hope you like them."

The old man receives the gift.

Old Man: [Oh, this looks tasty. What is it?]

The old man takes a bite, then gives a thumbs up as the visitors from Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's homeland describe their delicious food.

Woman 2: "It's Free Cat."

The old man's eyes go wide, before he starts vomiting violently.

Old Man: [MY HEARRRT! YOU BIIIIITCHRRRR....]

Man: "Oh no, not again!"

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

VS

Jasmine Lee: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Christopher Bain!"

"Take Over" by Dale Oliver begins playing throughout the arena as Christopher Bain steps out onto the entrance ramp. Walking to the center of the ramp, he stops for a moment before throwing his arms out wide as a volley of pyrotechnics explode behind him. As they subside, the young man begins walking towards the ring, slapping the hands of any fan who reaches out to him. When he arrives at ringside, he hops onto the ring apron before hopping over the top-rope. He climbs onto a turnbuckle to strike a quick pose for the fans.

Jasmine Lee: "And now, please welcome Alexander Conway who will reveal Christopher's opponent."

"Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F blares throughtout the arena as Alexander Conway steps out from the backstage of the ULOL.

Alexander Conway: "Have you been anticipating this? Have you been wondering who I'll possibly pick? Has it been consuming your thoughts and your dreams? I hope so, maybe then you'll be a bit more prepared for who I have picked. This man has been wanting a fight for a while now, he won't mind keeping you busy tonight. Your opponent....is none other than William LaCroix."

"Sonne" by Rammstein begins playing over the speakers as the big man from Switzerland walks onto the ramp with a microphone in hand.

William LaCroix: "Really Alexander? This is who you lined up for me? This runt? He hasn't even won a match under his own power! His only win came to him after some random masked guy attacked his opponent! Are you sure you couldn't do better than this?"

Alexander Conway: "Why are you complaining? It's an easy win and an easy paycheck. Plus, it should only take you two minutes to win."

William LaCroix: "Good point. I guess destroying a completely worthless member of the roster wouldn't hurt any."

William looks down to toward the ring.

William LaCroix: "Well Bain, it looks like you won the wrong sort of lottery. Instead of money, you win pain. Let me lay out how this is going to go, alright? I'm going to walk down to that ring, and then I am going to kick your head off. After which, I'm going to crush your spine and pin you. That sound good to you? Good."

William drops the microphone and walks down to the ring as Alexander walks backstage.

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this contest is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "LaCroix and Bain waste little time as the bell rings. Bain tries for a gut kick, but LaCroix catches him and tosses him back onto the mat."

Brad Blood: "Bain is going to have to stay away from LaCroix if he wants to have any chance of winning this match."

Jim Jackson: "Bain's doing just that, LaCroix is forced to check kick after kick. Bain switches legs and causes LaCroix to fall hard. Bain follows up with a low dropkick and a DDT."

Brad Blood: "Bain drops a knee before going to the cover, but LaCroix tosses him off before the ref can even begin counting. As LaCroix gets up, Bain comes in close looking for another DDT, but LaCroix just picks him up before tossing him off and onto the mat."

Jim Jackson: "LaCroix follows up with a huge clothesline that turns Bain inside out. LaCroix has Bain right where he wants him. There's a big stalling suplex! I swear, he had Bain up for two minutes!"

Brad Blood: "LaCroix takes a short run before dropping the leg across the throat! I remember when that used to finish matches. LaCroix goes for the cover."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Bain manages a kickout. LaCroix kicks him in the gut before irish whipping him to the ropes. Big Backdrop from LaCroix. LaCroix pulls Bain back up and irish whips him into the corner before delivering a big running clothesline."

Brad Blood: "LaCroix is firing shot after shot into Bain."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three! Four! F..."

Jim Jackson: "LaCroix stops just before the five count. He lifts Bain onto the turnbuckle, but takes too long as Bain is able to counter LaCroix's attempted move with a tornado DDT!"

Brad Blood: "Bain pulls himself back onto the turnbuckle as LaCroix gets up. Christopher leaps off the turnbuckle and twists 360° before catching LaCroix's head and spiking it to the mat with a flying DDT! There's the Air Raid! Bain goes for the cover, could this be the upset of the year?"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "LaCroix is able to kick out at two! Enziguri from Bain as LaCroix gets to his knees! Bain climbs the turnbuckle again. While facing the turnbuckle, Bain jumps back and front-flips 450° but finds nothing but mat!"

Brad Blood: "LaCroix capitalizes on Bain's weakened state and drops him with a bicycle kick!"

Jim Jackson: "LaCroix doesn't look as if he wants the win of off his Riot Run, he's signaling for Dementia! William LaCroix lifts Christopher Bain into a fireman's carry before driving him head and neck first into the top turnbuckle. Keeping his hold he quickly charges across the ring to drive them into a second turnbuckle. LaCroix then drives Christopher into a third turnbuckle before finishing his tour of the ring and driving him into the final turnbuckle before dropping Bain to the mat with a Death Valley Driver! There's the Dementia! LaCroix puts a foot onto the chest of Bain, showing his disrespect."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner via pinfall, William LaCroix!"

Brad Blood: "LaCroix wins his debut match, but surprisingly, doesn't look satisfied. He rolls out of the ring and grabs a steel chair!"

Jim Jackson: "William LaCroix lifts Christopher into a fireman's carry. LaCroix quickly tucks Christopher's head under his arm before tossing Bain backwards while pushing his head down into the steel chair! Paranoia's Kiss onto the chair! Bain's bleeding!"

Brad Blood: "Now, now LaCroix looks satisfied."

Jim Jackson: "How can somebody find satisfaction after doing something like that?!"

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Sun May 08, 2011 10:52 am

The camera pans onto a dark corridor in the far back of the arena away from all locker rooms and offices.
Suddenly some footsteps are heard walking slowly down the corridor. The camera pans onto a pair of legs walking to the back.
The figure suddenly stops as the camera follows his gaze.
Lying in the corner of the backstage area, is a large coffin big enough to fit two people side by side. Behind the coffin, a large hole in the wall is visible.
The figure walks up to the coffin, kneels down and places his hand on it.

Unknown: "Hmph......
Zombie was the only one who knew of this place.......
And the second I leave he destroys it?.........
This cannot go unpunished...... He will find out soon enough.....
But first........."

The figure digs in a toolbox and pulls out a drill.

Unknown: "I need to rebuild my workshop!!!"

The figure looks towards the camera but the shadows of the backstage area conceal his face.

Unknown: "Leave!!!"

The cameraman makes a quick retreat as the noises of drilling and construction fade.

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

IT'S MEGA YUMMY!

IT'S MEGA CRISPY!

IT'S...

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Megapu10

IN STORES NOW!

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

The ULOL comes to life and on the giant screen is the vice-general manager Eunice P. Winslow. Gingerly sipping her tea before setting down the cup, the feisty granny of ULOL then stares into the camera and begins her announcement.

Eunice P. Winslow: "First of all before I start I would also extend my condolences to the friends and family of the recently deceased Scott Logan. He has provided us with great moments here in ULOL and he shall be missed."

Mrs. Winslow pauses for a moment as a look of melancholy passes through her weathered face.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Now on to business. As we all know that Lucian Blackheart has been looking for real competition for the Ligero Maximo title, and I do agree we need to spice things up in that division so next week on the 15th of May we shall have an over the top rope battle royale featuring ten of ULOL's lightweights. Whoever that is left in the ring shall then battle Lucian Blackheart for the ULOL Ligero Maximo in the pay-per-view!"

An excited murmuring is heard from the crowd.

Eunice P. Winslow: "And now I shall announce the competitors for the battle royale... AJ, Alexander Conway, Andrew Hunter, Arnold "GoodFella" Bold", Christopher Bain, Felix Schwarz, John "Grey Skull" Johnson, Little Wang, Raven Connoly and The British Hawk! Yes, I have received word that The British Hawk shall be returning to action next week."

The crowd goes wild at the announcement. Eunice raises her hand to signal for the audience to quiet down.

Eunice P. Winslow: "But that is not all... We also seem to have a lull in the women's division so also next week we shall have a tournament for the No Masculino division. A grand prix style tournament where there will be two single matches between the wrestlers of our female roster. So next week on the first heat of the first round we shall have Boy Bakla fighting against Samantha Collins. On the second heat of the first round we then have Lady Bianca de Sade versus Nao Fook Mi! The winners of their respective heats shall advance to fight for the number one contendership for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino on the pay-per-view!"

The crowd again erupts in cheers at the announcement.

Eunice P. Winslow: "So before I go let me bid the competitors next week good luck and see you all in the ring!"

The screen blinks out.

As does all of the lights in the arena. The fan cheer in at the unexpected event. Then words appear on the titantron.

WE ALL GET HURT

SOME INJURIES WE BOUNCE BACK FROM

OTHERS WE DON'T

IN THIS CASE MY CAREER WAS OVER IN THE DOCTOR'S EYES

BUT I PROVED EVERYONE WRONG

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

I AM BACK!

The words fade out and the lights turn back on. After a few tense moments, "Rebirthing" by Skillet starts blaring over the arena. The crowd jump to their feet and release the biggest and loudest cheers of all. The camera pans around the arena showing some excited fans, some have even started crying. The cheers volume intensifies as The British Hawk rises up onto the stage, wearing his casual pair of denim jeans and black hooded jacket, complimented by a pair of black Nike Air Forces. He looks from left to right with a huge smile on his face. He steps to the edge of the ramp and raises his arms, triggering pyros to fire off behind him. He walks down the ramp, tagging the hands of the fans who reach out to him. He then pauses at the end of the ramp. Before running up and leaps up to the apron and enters the ring. He climbs a turnbuckle and raises his arms to the fans. He climbs down and grabs a microphone from the ring technician. The music fades as he begins to speak.

The British Hawk: "Wow. Just wow. Its been a long time since I heard a reaction like that. It means a lot. Thank you guys."

The fans cheer again as TBH thinks what to say next.

The British Hawk: "A few months ago I challenged for the ULOL Ligero Maximo Championship against the current champion Lucian Blackheart. Falls Count Anywhere match. I mean you can't have missed it. Easily the highlight of the PPV. As epic as that match was it didn't come without it's costs. Well, those costs affected me more than it affected Lucian. As Bianca told you guys, I had cracked ribs and deep cuts to my head. But the major injury was the severly broken tailbone. Err, as soon as I jumped put of the way of the truck I couldn't move anymore. As the referee's hands were coming down, I didnt think about losing the title match. I was thinking more long term. That I wouldn't be able to compete and perform for you guys anymore. Im serious I felt that bad. So I go into shock and I get transported to the hospital."

TBH strolls around the ring.

The British Hawk: "After a couple of days the doctors told me that. That I had to retire. Because my broken tailbone was that bad. They told me that even if I had surgery there's a huge chance that I could end up in a wheelchair. I was doubting myself and I was angry because I felt that I let you all down. That hurt me inside. But you guys were so supportive through your mail, emails, twitter. Reading some of your messages inspired me not to give up hope. So I told the doctors that I want to through with the surgery. So fast forward a few weeks and I'm training myself back to full strength. At least that's what I thought. The doctors then told me that I'm not making progress and that I should just quit wrestling and take up something easier."

The fans boo as TBH chuckles.

The British Hawk: "Hahaha. Well I instantly told the doctors no. Wrestling is my life and I will push myself further and harder every training session and here I am. The doctors were nervy about discharging me but I am still here and I will compete for the number one contender spot to face Lucian at the PPV."

The fans cheer again.

The British Hawk: "It will be a tough match but Lucian. Your days as a ULOL champion are numbered. I took you to the limit and I will do it again. But this time. I plan for me to be walking put as the new ULOL Ligero Maximo Champion!"

TBH drops the microphone as "Rebirthing" resumes playing. TBH climbs a turnbuckle and taunts to the fans and exits the ring. He tags the hands of the fans up the ramp. He makes it to the stage before raising his arms to the crowd. The crowd cheer loudly as he exits behind the curtain.

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

Zombie is in his locker room getting ready for the night ahead.
Suddenly the door behind him slams without anyone touching it. The sound of the lock clicks.
A voice fills the room in a creepy low tone

Unknown: "Zooooombie.........
We have alot to catch up on.........
How long has it been?............"

The lights start to flicker wildly

Unknown: "A month?.......
A few months?.......
A YEAR?.........."

The Lockers suddenly start opening and closing with a bang

Unknown: "In that year........
Have you ever thought about me?...........
Ever thought about that fiery pit?............
That fiery pit that you put me in?............
Ever thought if you will ever see me again?........."

The vent in the room blows open as a huge gust of chilling wind blows into the room

Unknown: "Its your lucky day Zombie...........
I'm baaaaaaaack.............
And I am never going away again...........
Not without saying hello to you first!!!!"

The chilling wind suddenly stops
The Locker doors stop banging and remain motionless.........
The Lights flicker back to normal........
The sound of the locker room door lock clicks as the door is unlocked once more.
Zombie recollects himself crossing over to the door.
As he reaches for the handle, the voice lets out one more sound

Unknown: "Remember Zombie.........
I will be watching you!!!"

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

VS

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen! The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, here is the Masked Man!"

My Apocalypse by Arch Enemy starts playing around the arena as The Masked Man makes his way down to the ring

Brad Blood: "For a second there I thought it was gonna be Q."

Jasmine Lee: "His opponent! Making his way to the ring! Here is Chriso!"

"Tubular Hell" plays loudly and ominously as smoke fills the ramp. The lights dim, leaving just enough brightness to reveal a silhouette stealthily approaching the ring.

Chriso stands on the turnbuckle closest to the ramp, as flame explodes behind him.

Jim Jackson: "Chriso steps into an ULOL ring, and he's got the mysterious and crafty Masked Man as his first opponent!"

Brad Blood: "His opponent may be mysterious, but Chriso's intentions in ULOL aren't! He's coming in with a big goal, and its name is the Zombie!"

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man attacks Chriso before he can step into the ring! He knocks him onto the floor!"

Brad Blood: "Chriso's opponent not wanting to wait another minute longer! He's going out after Chriso!"

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man taking the initiative with that blindsiding of Chriso! He attacks but Chriso blocks it! Staggers the Masked Man with a huge blow!"

Brad Blood: "Running knee to the face takes the Masked Man down!"

Jim Jackson: "Chriso pressing his advantage...and he lifts the Masked Man oh but he gets poked in the eye! The Masked Man buying himself an opening, and he clotheslines Chriso!"

Brad Blood: "Chriso off his feet!"

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man is reaching under the ring...he's got a chair! This man's taking no chances!"

Brad Blood: "When it comes to someone with the reputation Chriso has, every bit of preparation helps!"

Jim Jackson: "But Chriso KICKS the chair into the Masked Man's face! The Masked Man falls lifeless to the mat!"

Brad Blood: "How did Chriso recover so fast!"

Jim Jackson: "Referee Sully S. Calawag ordering the two men to bring the match back into the ring! Chriso...drags the dazed Masked Man, and rolls him in."

Brad Blood: "And NOW the official is actually starting the match!"

Jim Jackson: "Chriso slingshots himself over the ropes to clothesline the Masked Man!"

Brad Blood: "The Masked Man ducked, but still caught some of that clothesline!"

Jim Jackson: "Chriso charges at his opponent in the corner, but gets a faceful of the Masked Man's boot! The Masked Man grabs a staggered Chriso for a Samoan drop!"

Brad Blood: "He's digging deep to find the strength to go toe to toe with Chriso!"

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man now with the upper hand! He grabs but Chriso with a huge uppercut that nearly takes the Masked Man off his feet! He's grabbing him for a chokehold!"

Brad Blood: "He's lifting him up for a chokeslam onto the knee!"

Jim Jackson: "That's the Spinal Tap! And now Chriso's going for his finisher!"

Brad Blood: "The Masked Man's hoisted onto Chriso's shoulders for a powerbomb OH NO HE GOT DROPPED HEADFIRST INTO A PILEDRIVER!"

Jim Jackson: "That's the Chrisonator!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of the match, by pinfall...Chriso!"

Jim Jackson: "Chriso wins against the Masked Man!"

Brad Blood: "We got company!"

Chriso looks at the stage to find the Zombie, glaring balefully at him. Chriso returns the deep, penetrating, soul-searching stare being given by the Primo Ultimo Champion.

Soulless dead eyes lock onto rotting undead eyes. They stare at each other's depths, peering into the forbidding chasms which define each man. Untold cauldrons buried deep with each other's eyes, that hint of the deep, primal urges that drive Chriso and Zombie

Brad Blood: "Uh...I hope you don't mind, but this isn't a Mills & Boon novel here."

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Sun May 08, 2011 10:52 am

Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. Little Wang pops up from in between her legs. They quickly makes their way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. They bow and give their respect to the crowd before addressing the crowd.

Little Wang: "Last week, we had The DWMA running their mouths off, nothing new of course. They think no one would take their challenge. Well tonight, I and my partner Nao Fook Mi accept that challenge."

Little Wang pauses for a few seconds pacing around his partner before continuing.

Little Wang: "I know our previous battle with The DWMA has been disappointing. Yes we lost but we are not making any excuses, what matters is that we are still here alive and kicking. We may go down but we do not stay down, we will keep coming back up again and again and again. Maybe we will fail again tonight but that doesn't mean that we will give up the fight."

The crowd begins to cheer.

Little Wang: "The odds will again be against us in this fight but I am not one to lay down and hand a win to The DWMA in a silver platter. If they want to win, then they must battle for it. I know my partner feels the same way too."

Little Wang offers the mic to Nao Fook Mi as the cheers of the crowd grows louder.

The oriental beauty known as Nao Fook Mi nods as she takes the mic from her partner.

Nao Fook Mi: "Yes, The DWMA has won every time we met them in the ring. As my partner here has emphasized, we are fighting an uphill battle here. Yet isn't that the battle that's worth fighting for? Isn't that how we improve ourselves? Isn't that how real heroes are born, when they fight against insurmountable odds and prevail?"

A loud "HELL YEAH!" emanates from the crowd as a smile appears on Fook Mi's lips. Her eyes then soften as she continues to address the crowd.

Nao Fook Mi: "All this time, through our stay here in ULOL, one thing remained constant. Through our wins and losses we had you all supporting us and for that we thank you. It is from you all that we gather our strength to go one despite the hardships we have faced and for that we shall be eternally grateful. So tonight... In this match, I promise you that The DWMA will have one of the toughest battle they have ever fought. Whether we win or we lose, we will give it more than a hundred percent in the ring and give you fans a battle worthy of the support you all have showered us!"

Fook Mi raises her fist into the air as the crowd cheers loudly once more. She looks at her partner who is also riding the euphoria of the support of the crowd before they exit the ring and head to the back.

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

Manolo Ferrer taps his fingers against the window as he looks out at the crowded street again. He is sitting in the back of his car, apparently stuck in traffic. Red lights illuminate the road in front of him, as dozens of cars stand still, waiting for the slightest opening.

The video of this recording has the date of May 1.

Manolo Ferrer: "It's not usually this crowded on a night like this. Maybe there's an accident up ahead."

He exhales in exasperation, pointing the camera to record the traffic he's stuck in.

Manolo Ferrer: "Looks like I have time on my hands. So let's talk about a few things."

The camera changes direction to face Mr. Ferrer again.

Manolo Ferrer: "I just heard that Osama bin Laden's finally gone to meet Allah. Good."

He leans back in his seat, a small smile breaking on his face. He stays this way for a good, long moment.

Manolo Ferrer: "It's been a night of good news for me. Bin Laden's finally dead, and my client, Mr. Bold, has scored a victory over the former Primo Ultimo Champoin, Mr. Shogun."

Mr. Ferrer's smile seems to grow wider.

Manolo Ferrer: "I don't know if Mr. Shogun is going to post a response to Mr. Bold's victory. Maybe he'll criticize the referee's competence, or maybe he'll try to spin it that he didn't like my client's tactics to get the win. The bottom line is, my client made the most of the cards he was given, and came out on top over you. Just like you made the most out of Mr. Ray Kamaura's chairshot, or a mob of rioters, to come out on top of opponents like Mr. Conway and Ms. Connoly."

Mr. Ferrer lets that comment sit for a few moments, before going on. The smile on his face has morphed back into a neutral gesture.

Manolo Ferrer: "Let's assume for a minute that Mr. Shogun is going to cut a promo, where he tries to push the idea that no one can 'really' beat him, or that he's the only brave man in ULOL. Don't go there, Mr. Shogun. You have no credibility for it. You've been letting Mr. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing walk all over you since last year. That masked man cuts a promo, you hide like a turtle. And you've been hiding since last year."

The car begins to move forward.

Manolo Ferrer: "Maybe in your next promo, you'll say that the masked man is not on the same level to hang with you. In a way, that's true. Because Mr. Q is the one hanging you by your own noose. You let him. I'm not even making any of this up; it's just me observing you for the past several months."

Mr. Ferrer adds.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Shogun, you can come out in your next promo, foaming at the mouth and ready to tear people in half. Or you could do what you always do when a specific masked man talks about you, and that's to meekly take it. I don't really care, either way. You already lost, Mr. Shogun. You did that to yourself. I'm just taking pictures of the body."

Manolo Ferrer reaches to the camera to turn off the recording.

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens with Ray Kamaura and Leon Hinomoto standing in front of a TV screen with mics. Ray seems to be holding something behind his back.

Ray Kamaura: "Well, well, well. Here we are and once again The DWMA is in a match trying to win back the number one contendership for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero titles. This will be our third attempt to capture the gold. Third time is the charm."

Ray pauses for a dramatic effect. Then he continues.

Ray Kamaura: "We must beat Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi to earn a shot at the titles. Now they are both very good fighters and I'd even go as far to say that I respect them for standing up to us for the third time. That takes heart. Little Wang, Nao Fook Mi, listen closely. Your time will come to have your chance at glory. But It's our time. After we win the tag team titles, The Oriental Spices will receive a title shot at some point, and I'm sure that you will both give it your all. But I'm sorry that we must beat you tonight."

Leon cuts Ray short and raises the mic to his mouth.

Leon Hinomoto: "Now our message to the Age of Pain. We are going to rain down a force of unimaginable terror. The bell tolls on your last week as the champions. The time comes for the both of you to fall on your knee's before our great power. The DWMA is a juggernaut that cannot be stopped. The Age of Pain and The DWMA will clash over the future of the ULOL. Our Battle will be one of Legend that will shake space time, and the very foundation that the ULOL was built on. Becuase Unlike Marcus Troy, or Alister King, Or even Alexander Conway, Zombie, and Shogun the future is in the hands of our two stables. for if we did not stand, so firmly, in your way there would bwe nothing to stop the Age of Pain from controlling everything. Normally the power would fall on the shoulders of the GM or even the Primo Ultimo champion. You seem to have one thing that they do not. Manolo Ferrer! For he is a brillant little rat that seems to always find his way out of the maze and get the cheese. Manolo is a mastermind that if left unchecked will gain control of everything."

Leon pauses to take a breath after the mouth full he just blurted out.

Leon Hinomoto: "Why is it that a man as smart and cunning as Manolo Ferrer is working at the ULOL. The Man could easily be President. But never the less we have faced men like this before and the key is not to battle them but to simple ignore them and focus on the team themselves. The DWMA want to put an end to the Age of Pain and issue a new time in the ULOL because not only will we be fighting for the tiles but we will be fighting for ALEXANDER CONWAY!!!!!!!! I know it sounds like we are arguing over a slab of meat, but he is more than that. He has been a member of the DWMA for a long time far before The ULOL was the number 1 show on the air. So mark our works, Conway is be free from your grasp of evil."

Leon reaches up and turns of the camera.

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

Bombastic drums play, while a graphic of the Campeónes Compañero flashes on your TV.

Voiceover: "On this week's Lucha Loco, a match will take place to find out who becomes the next Number One contenders to challenge for ULOL's Campeónes Compañero! The teams who will fight for this opportunity include..."

&

VS

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Voiceover: "One of these things is not like the others. One of these things is not quite the same. Who indeed will emerge at the end of Lucha Loco as the new contenders for the Campeónes Compañero?"

The graphics showing the DWMA and Oriental Spices abruptly ends, and is replaced by the image of the Age of Pain's manager, Manolo Ferrer. He is standing at the door of his talent agency, his arms folded across his chest.

Manolo Ferrer: "My clients will be keeping an eye on this match. We have no preference on whoever wins. But we might take bets on who gets injured by the time the match ends. You viewers at home are encouraged to do the same. The DWMA and Oriental Spices like audience participation."

The commercial ends.

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

&

VS

&

Jasmine Lee: "The following contest is a tag team match and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, the team of Ray Kamaura and Leon Hinomoto, The DWMA!"

The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura and Leon walk slowly to the start of the ramp. Both superstars stop and the lights turn back on after lightning strikes behind them. The lasers continue as Ray and Leon slowly enter the ring. They go to different ring posts and climb them, then strike a pose. Ray and Leon move to the same side of the ring and wait for their challengers.

Jim Jackson: "This will mark the third time that these two teams have faced off here in the ULOL."

Brad Blood: "What's it say about The DWMA? They are fighting a team who have never won for a third time. To me, that says that they need to compensate for something."

Jasmine Lee: "And their opponents for the evening, the team of Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi, Oriental Spices!"

Ordinarily, at this point the Oriental Spices would come out with their theme playing and their fans going nuts and you know what all happens. But you see, today isn't an ordinary day. Today, a different tag team emerges onto the stage, fireworks erupting all around the edges. One, in a light blue unitard, adjusts his gloves while looking around at the crowd and the wrestlers in the ring, a creepily toothy grin on his face. The other, wearing a darker blue unitard with yellow stripes, takes a puff on a cigarette as he assesses their opponents with a cold stare. Meanwhile, footage from a much newer Japanese anime is displayed on the Titantron while Ima ga Sono Toki da by Mizuki Ichiro plays. The one in the dark blue outfit raises a mic to his mouth.

Mysterious Figure 2: "Ladies and gentlemen, due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, the Oriental Spices will not be able to compete in tonight's match. At the request of a certain wrestler with whom my friend and I are acquainted, we have come to take their place."

The one in the lighter outfit takes the mic from him.

Mysterious Figure 1: "Cut the crap already. These people don't want speeches, they want wrestling! They want blood! They want people broken in half! And who are we to deny them these things? Who are we, Hayato, to make them wait while we sit here and talk about spices and orients and all this shit I don't understand?"

Hayato pulls another mic seemingly out of nowhere, much to Mysterious Figure 1's confusion.

Hayato Tachibana: "Just wanted to clear a few things up, Ryoma. We can't have people scratching their heads because the team they were expecting tonight was replaced by us. By the way, what was that about speeches?

Ryoma Ichimonji: "People don't want them! They want wrestling! They want blood! They want-"

Hayato Tachibana: "And there you go doing exactly what the people don't want, in your own words. If you're so desperate to get into the ring and destroy these people, then shut up and do it."

Ryoma looks like he's about to say something more, but then he stops himself and thinks for a few seconds. Finally, he nods, tosses the mic behind him (causing some ear-damaging feedback in the process), and walks down the ramp to the ring with Hayato following closely behind. When they enter the ring, Hayato has to physically restrain Ryoma from attacking the DWMA before the match starts. While he does so, he looks them over one more time, then tries his hardest to speak into his mic while simultaneously holding back a deranged karate expert.

Hayato Tachibana: "By the way, Ray Kamaura, was it? Inspirational hero? Yeah, that's a load of bollocks. You're about as inspirational as the bars of my cell. Oh, wait, those were inspirational, unlike you."

Ryoma manages to slip out of Hayato's grasp and takes the mic again.

Ryoma Ichimonji: "Listen up, DWMA- what does that even stand for, anyway?-, we're the Getter Team. You're planning on beating up the Age of Pain or whatever, fine, I won't stop you. But guess what? You're not going to be the ones on top of ULOL. Someone, and I'm not gonna mention who, wants to keep the balance of power intact around here, which means it's our job to keep you idiots away from the crown, or title belt, or whatever the hell you use here."

Hayato rolls his eyes, then takes the mic back from Ryoma.

Hayato Tachibana: "Yes, it's all rather...grandiose. Well, as my friend here seems to be eager to start...I think, it's hard to tell with him sometimes, let's begin the match."

Hayato puts out his cigarette on the turnbuckle.

Jim Jackson: "So now it will be these two newcomers vs. The DWMA. Unfortunately folks, we know about as much as all of you when it comes to Hayato and Ryoma."

Brad Blood: "Who cares? As long as it isn't the Oriental Jobbers vs. The DWMA again..."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for the match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "As the bell rings, Ryoma charges at The DWMA! Before they could react, Ryoma took them both down with a double clothesline!"

Brad Blood: "Ryoma tosses Leon over the top rope, it looks as if Ray will be starting this match off for the DWMA."

Jim Jackson: "Ryoma quickly grabs Ray Kamaura and start landing both forearms to the back and knees to the chest. Kamaura can't stand up to this flurry of blows and soon finds himself up against the turnbuckles."

Brad Blood: "This situation is no better for him. Now Ryoma is just wailing on him with punch after punch! Ray looks out of it!"

Jim Jackson: "Ryoma takes a short run, before flying back into the turnbuckle with a huge clothesline! He's lifting Ray onto the turnbuckle."

Brad Blood: "A huge superplex! Ryoma for the cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Ray was able to push Ryoma off of him at two. Ray tries to get to his feet but Ryoma pushes him back down to the mat before raining even more punches down upon him."

Brad Blood: "Ray Kamaura hasn't been able to get any offense into this match so far. Ryoma has just been beating the shit out of him."

Jim Jackson: "Ryoma lifts Ray up and puts him down with a bodyslam. Ryoma drops an elbow before going for another cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Again, Ray kicks out at two. Ryoma with the irish whip into the corner. He comes charging in, but he only finds boot! Ray quickly follows up with a shoulder tackle!"

Brad Blood: "Ray's feeling it. He grabs Ryoma and tosses him into the turnbuckle post shoulder first! He gives Ryoma a few punches before making the tag to Leon!"

Jim Jackson: "There it is! A Leg drop and backbreaker combination! Leon goes for the cover."

Don Q. Hotte: "One..."

Brad Blood: "One big move isn't enough to keep Ryoma down. Leon locks Ryoma's injured arm into a hammerlock. Ryoma tries to fight his way out of it, but Leon isn't allowing him. Ryoma looks to get to the ropes....and he does. Leon is forced to break the hold."

Jim Jackson: "A rolling kick from Leon is followed up by a high dropkick. Leon with a neckbreaker! Ryoma is out on his feet right now. Leon kicks him in the gut before taking him down with a snap suplex. Leon dives onto Ryoma for the cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Ryoma is able to kick out at two. Leon drags him over to the corner and makes a tag to Kamaura. They each grab an arm before whipping him across the ring and following up with a big double clothesline."

Brad Blood: "Ray Kamaura grabs Ryoma by the neck. Ray then lifts Ryoma up and slams Ryoma to the ground with the Game Changer! This could be it!"

Jim Jackson: "What the hell is Ray doing? He's dragged Ryoma over to Hayato and is making his limp body reach out for a tag. Hayato looks to be annoyed by this lack of respect, but he is showing great control-"

Brad Blood: "Hayato just lunged in and tagged the hand of his unconscious teammate! He ducks a clothesline from Ray before using the ropes as a launch pad to hit a dropkick! Hayato follows that up with an enziguri kick to the back of the head!"

Jim Jackson: "Ray's down, but Hayato looks as if he wants to fly. He climbs the turnbuckle, but instead he leaps and spears Hinomoto off of the apron. Hayato rolls back into the ring and right into the clutches of Kamaura! Ray thinking chokeslam but Hayato is able to counter it into a DDT!"

Brad Blood: "Hayato decides to tag out to Ryoma. Hayato holds Kamaura's head and closest arm as Ryoma bounces off of the ropes and flys into Ray's stomach! What a russian legsweep and spear combination! Ryoma goes for the cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Jim Jackson: "Leon dives into the ring to make the save just before the three! As Leon gets out of the ring, Ryoma kicks him in the head, sending him back down to the floor."

Brad Blood: "Ryoma pulls Ray Kamaura back to his corner before tagging out to Hayato again. They each grab an arm before irish whipping him to the ropes. As he comes back, both members of the Getter Team go low and shoulder tackle each of his legs! Oh, have fun standing up now big man!"

Jim Jackson: "Hayato begins attacking one of the hurt legs! He repeatedly stomps on the knee as Ray cries out in agony. Hayato rolls into a knee bar, stretching the wrecked leg to painful levels! Will Kamaura tap? No! Leon again is able to make the save!"

Brad Blood: "But in comes Ryoma! He just clotheslined Hinomoto over the top rope! Both members of the Getter Team grab Ray and pull him over to the ropes. A big suplex sends Ray over the top rope and down onto his own partner!

Jim Jackson: "Ryoma's going out after Kamaura and Hinomoto! He's staying out of their line of sight, while they try to recover from being dumped out of the ring!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three! Four..."

Jim Jackson: "Ryoma charges like a mad bull to clothesline Kamaura hard! But he misses Leon Hinomoto! Hinomoto manages to nail a big jumping kick to Ryoma!"

Brad Blood: "Hayato's going out to help his man!"

Jim Jackson: "Hinomoto tries to muster some offense, but Hayato fresh and alert on his feet! He bludgeons Hinomoto with big strikes!"

Brad Blood: "Ray Kamaura's grabbing Hayato's leg, trying to slow him down! And that gives Leon an opening!"

Jim Jackson: "Hinomoto takes advantage to clip Hayato with a vicious lunging forearm! But Ryoma throws himself at Hinomoto!"

Don Q. Hotte: "Nine! Ten! Ring the bell!"

Brad Blood: "And this match is over!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, neither team was able to return to the ring before the 10 count. Therefore, the referee is ruling this match a no contest!"

Jim Jackson: "That means we don't have a number one contender to challenge the Age of Pain! The DWMA can't believe they just lost their chance to qualify!"

Brad Blood: "Leon's trying to plead his case with the referee, but it looks as if it's final-"

Jim Jackson: "Wait! Taufik has just run past us! He's got a Singapore Cane and he's going after the DWMA! He has just cracked Leon in the back of the head with it!"

Brad Blood: "Leon stumbles to the floor! We got the Getter Team quickly backing away from Taufik!"

Jim Jackson: "Taufik has just thrown Hinomoto into the steel steps! Ray's trying to get up, but Taufik swings the cane into his hurt leg! Somebody needs to stop this!"

Brad Blood: "Why? Taufik is only showing them what happens when you make jokes about The Age of Pain."

Jim Jackson: "Here comes the cavalry! Yuki Monotomo charges out of the back to help his stable mates-"

Brad Blood: "He just ran right into a Singapore cane shot from Taufik, hahahaha! He's out! What kind of cavalry shows up and gets their ass kicked? He should have brought a weapon!"

Jim Jackson: "Taufik bounces Yuki's face off of the turnbuckle post before going back to work on Ray's leg. He smacks Ray's leg over and over before finally letting off. Yuki's trying to stand back up, but gets caught in the groin by the cane!"

Brad Blood: "Taufik sets Yuki up in a rock bottom position, he lifts up Yuki only for him to be crashing down in a sit down spinebuster on the floor! It looks like Taufik has left his curse on the DWMA here tonight."

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Sun May 08, 2011 10:53 am

The scene started at the boiler room where is dark and quiet. The cameraman was told to come here with his camera as he lurks around the place carefully. All of the sudden, a mysterious figure dashes through the shadows. The mysterious figure then comes closer to the cameramen and it turns out to be Taufik. He looks at the camera and started talking as he lights up a candle.

Taufik: "Last week Raven called me out and up the ante about the match were having tonight and I accepted. Tonight, it's going to be me and Raven for the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly which will be soon Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik again as I win the title tonight inside the 15 foot high steel cage. Raven, don't you know what you have done to yourself? You have paved the path of destruction to your own fate. As soon as I lost my title to YOU AT ME CAGO EN LA LECHE you started a wheel turning, a wheel of of YOUR DEMISE!!!! That night you and Lucian brought out someone that I don't wanna show to this world. A side that is so destructive that everywhere he goes only ruins lie in it's wake. With the caged lowered and when the bell rings, you will have NO WHERE TO RUN! And NOWHERE TO HIDE!!! I won't leave you in one piece when this is over, I will leave you in pieces as I slowly tear you apart piece by piece. Do you know that places like the steel cage are my favorite places to be? I can't wait to grind your face to the cage and watch you bleed slowly. While were at it, this reminds me of another asshole that comes to mind, a rookie called Yuki. Yuki, you think you're a smart ass when you come and poke your nose into conversation that Raven and I are having? Listen up punk! You're a fucking ROOKIE and MAKE SURE YOU STAY AWAY ASSHOLE!!! You ain't in my league and so are your Stupid Dancing With The Stars Troop who are not even close to The Age Of Pain's league."

Taufik take a short breather as he thinks of what to say next. He then continued.

Taufik: "Yuki, don't make me select you as my next target to eliminate cause I have no time for punks like you. You are just nothing but a piece of garbage that is ready to be disposed off anytime. Let be this word as my last warning to you Yuki."

Taufik then extinguishes the fire in the candle with his bare hands and walked out of the locker room as the scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals hits the speakers. After a moment fire spouts from the entrance ramp and "The Demonic God" Shogun can be seen walking through. The familiar emotionless expression can be seen glued to the mans face as he makes his slow decent down the ramp towards the ring to the fans dismay. Soon Shogun enters the ring and takes a mic from an awaiting ring hand where where he now begins to speak.

Shogun: "I believe I shall open up this week's talk with this.."

Manolo Ferrer: "The next stage of your career here is going to be directed by the Age of Pain. Mr. Arnold Bold is going to beat you, the way a goodfella should. If then, you find someone in ULOL who doesn't despise you enough to willingly work with you as a tag partner, my clients will be ready for you and your hired gun. Even if he's a fresh graduate of whatever Devil Worshipper's Academy you came from. Maybe if you're fortunate, your future tag partner will have more than enough courage to make up for the complete lack of a spine you have. Until then, I hope you have a good week, Mr. Shogun. Even if I don't really mean it."

Shogun: "I`m sure many of you are expecting me to be irate about being screwed over for the third week in a row. However, I am not very angry considering Monolo proved my point once again. You see I outright told you all that Arnold would have help. Monolo told me otherwise but honestly who thought that a two faced man such as him could possibly do something as simple as uphold his word."

The crowd seems to have mixed reactions at this

Shogun: "I find it funny that you can talk of my lack of spine and talk of all the "help" I received in defending my title when none of your members seem to have the spine to win a match without getting some form of blatant assistance. You see the difference between me taking advantage of an opportunity and your clients taking advantage of opportunities is that I do not create mine."

Shogun: "You talk about how I am yellow for not arguing with a man so yellow he wears a mask to hide his identity from the world. I find it rather funny that you think I honestly care about what he says. Let him talk! Where has his talk brought him hmm? No where! He is simply babbling every week incoherently about anyone in general hoping to rile them up much like you do."

Shogun simply paces the ring, ignoring any crowd reaction

Shogun: "Tonight you have gone through lengths to cover up your foolish words last week and you have also failed. You see I know full well that people can "really" beat me. Alexander Conway did it just recently for that matter. I am not so prideful that I cannot admit that I can lose a straight up matches with one of the best wrestlers in the world."

Shogun: "You seem to think that me not listening to Q talk is a mark of my courage. Again he is a man who walks around in a mask. I believe my point is proven right there."

Shogun: "I still find it funny that one minute you are singing my high praises every chance you get and the next you come out to tell me about how much of a yellow coward I am. It simply shows how completely two faced you are. Lets not forget that you talk all of this big man talk when you have a faction of no less than four men ready and willing to fight for you. Sure you defeated Alexander in a bra and panties match. The fact that you think this earns you any form of recognition as a man who can fight makes me laugh. Also do not bring out that "I am a manager" bullshit. You talk like you can beat someone up but when they come to you for the fight you are "just a manager". Then the next moment that same man is being called a pussy by you."

Shogun: "Oh and before I forget... I do indeed have a partner. I think I shall let him introduce himself though."

Shogun lowers the mic and waits

Hurt's "Rapture" begins to blast through the PA system. A blinding light and smoke covers the entrance. Shadow Callahan makes his way out wearing a white expressionless mask and carrying the harbinger. He continues to walk down to the ring ignoring the crowd. He grabs a microphone before entering the ring. He enters the ring and stares at shogun. He removes the mask to show he has a sly grin on his face.

Shadow Callahan: "Ladies & Gentleman, Welcome to the true age of pain, and we are your hosts."

Crowd has more mixed reactions

Shadow Callahan: "Me and Shogun, We go back along time, Back then We ravaged the world of wrestling, winning titles and ending careers. And the good news is, we are planning to pick up where we left off and our targets. Manolo and The Age of Pain!"

Shogun whispers something to Shadow

Shadow Callahan: "I completely forgot about that douchebag. Our other target, That king of fools known as Allister."

The Crowd boos

Shadow Callahan: "Tonight we will begin our reign by taking him out as well as that hermaphroditic trash known as Bakla. They know what i am capable of but they have no idea what we, The Anarchists, can do as a team."

Shadow lowers the mic as Shogun raises his.

Voice: "Cut. Hold it. Time out."

Both Shadow and Shogun look up at the ULOLtron. Manolo Ferrer's face looms large. He is apparently behind his desk.

The manager of the Age of Pain begins to speak, but then pauses. He eyes both Shadow and Shogun, not unlike the way you'd examine something before buying it.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Shogun, when I suggested you try finding someone who would actually tag with you, I didn't think you'd actually pick Brostar."

Murmurs of confusion are heard amongst the audience. Manolo Ferrer squints, as if trying to get a better look. He waves his hand to correct himself.

Manolo Ferrer: "My mistake. Not THAT Shadow. So. You found someone who's actually more interesting than you, Mr. Shogun. Just like when you had Mr. Troy in your pocket. I'm guessing now, with this man in your corner, you can actually have that spinal transplant you've been desperately needing since 2010. And maybe, you can finally try to wipe off that streak of yellow that Mr. Q paints you with each time he types up a promo."

The manager scratches his chin, as if running something in his head.

Manolo Ferrer: "On the other hand, a condition like yours that's been left untreated all this time is probably irreversible. That means this man beside you is going to do all the work to cover up that fatal flaw in your character. In vain."

Manolo Ferrer briefly points to Shadow Callahan.

Manolo Ferrer: "I'd rather not come across like an apologist for Mr. Q. He's more than able to speak for himself. But you claiming Mr. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing has 'been going nowhere'? Wrong. He's been a lot of places, Mr. Shogun. He's been in your house, drinking your beer, taking your car out for joyrides, and flushing your goldfish down the toilet. Each time he comes back, he uses you for a doormat. Since last year."

For emphasis, Mr. Ferrer brings up a 2010 calendar. "Shogun turns yellow" is scrawled over a long line of dates.

Manolo Ferrer: "I have no idea why no one else has bothered doing the same thing, since he makes it look so easy. I'm saying this now, because I'd rather not be interrupted by Mr. Q wandering out here, and terrifying you enough to make you clam up and hide in your shell for another six months, Mr. Shogun."

Mr. Ferrer switches his attention back to Shadow Callahan. He lips flatten into a thin line as he looks at Shogun's new ally.

Manolo Ferrer: "ULOL really is committed to finding work for those with psychiatric problems. Mr. Chriso came in about the same time you did. He's a nasty piece of work, bit on the crazy side. I think ULOL got you and Mr. Chriso on discount. At least you don't seem to be generic."

The manager of the Age of Pain momentarily glances at the man standing beside Shadow Callahan.

Manolo Ferrer: "I'm no shrink, but I do know bad business decisions when I see them. You stay with Mr. Shogun, and you're propping up a man desperate to restore a shred of credibility to his character. You'll be doing all sorts of atrocities to help keep the spotlight on Mr. Shogun, when all this time his claims of being a monster or some demonic potato chip have been overshadowed by other monsters in ULOL."

Manolo Ferrer gives Shogun another glance.

Manolo Ferrer: "I don't expect you to believe me, Mr. Callahan. I'll just let Mr. Shogun's Inner Marty Jannety convince you for me. I don't think it'll take very long."

Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants right below the ULOL Tron where Manolo Ferrer's face is seen. The divalicious transsexual brings the mic to it's lips and addresses the individuals in attendance.

Boy Bakla: "Boys boys boys... Sorry to barge in on your little shindig here but since it will be my pretty little butt on the line tonight, I think that I should get a few words in too."

Bakla struts around on the top of the entrance platform before continuing.

Boy Bakla: "But before I begin, I would like to take this opportunity to say goodbye to Scott Logan, oh he burned so brightly... In my heart, even if it was for only a brief moment. Goodbye my dear Scottie-poo!"

Bakla sheds a melodramatic tear before it's face suddenly turned serious sizing up the two wrestlers in the ring...

Boy Bakla: "Now let us get down to business shall we boys? You both may look menacing together but guess what? It doesn't matter, I have been around the block and I have fought my fair share of battles... Shadow, you say we don't know what you can do as a team? Well you don't know what I can do either don't you? You think this will be a cake walk? Well think again. The only cake walking out of that ring later the winner is this fruitcake!"

Bakla glamorously points at itself as the crowd chuckles.

Boy Bakla: "Seriously every federation I go I always hear the same old, tune from every wrestler claiming to be the next bad-ass that I am so sick and tired of it. I always hear the same old story, I held this title and I held that title but YOU AIN'T HOLDING ANY TITLES NOW AREN'T YOU? You know what's the meaning of being a former champion? It mean you LOST to someone better than you. So why should I be even intimidated by both of you? Turned-on? Maybe, intimidated? NO!"

A mixture of laughs and cheers is heard in the crowd.

Boy Bakla: "So boys, before you both go on with how you'll start an age of pain and all that, know that this domina standing right here in front of you knows what real pain is really like and I won't hold back showing you dearies what real pain is about."

Bakla then moves a little forward and looks at the screen towards The Manager of Champions...

Boy Bakla: "And you! You sexy mound of mocha you... Maybe we can hook up later after my match, I wouldn't mind showing you some pleasure after dishing out some pain."

With that, Bakla winks at Manolo Ferrer and blows him a kiss before turning around to face the two wrestlers in the ring again.

A Coyote Howl is heard throughout the arena as the entrance is covered in smoke. Godsmack's "Whiskey Hangover" begins to play as Allister King walks out onto the entrance ramp with a cigarette in his mouth and a microphone in hand. He flicks the cigarette away before he begins to talk

Allister King: "Listen up. You two sons of bitches are more stupid than I even imagined. Look at yas, it's like Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees puked their guts out and the result is this piece of turd team known as The Anarchists. The Anarchists? You serious? I could have thought of a better name when riding the shit out of your mothers."

Allister does a thrusting motion with his pelvis. The crowd laughs.

Allister King: "I mean, you are going and this asshole."

Allister points to Bakla

Allister King: "He may be my partner for tonight but I have no problem calling him an asshole. Just like I have no problem beating the living shit out you two faggots."

Allister turns around to look at Manolo.

Allister King: "No offense."

Allister turns back round

Allister King: "Look at you Shogun. You can't even win a title. Every time you try, you screw up. Why? Because you're a failure. A failure in life and you will be a failure in death, same with douche bag number 2 there."

Allister smiles

Allister King: "Honestly, I can't wait to get you two in the ring, so that I can kick the absolute living shit out of both of you. Then turn my attention towards Shadow. Who Ii will make suffer for his actions. Torture him like the dog he is. Although dog is too nice of a word to use. Even dirt is too good for him. And if any of you, that includes you Manolo, get in my way. I will make you pay."

Allister lowers the microphone

A familiar nu-metal music track interrupts the GM. The crowd lights up with a roar of high-pitched cheers, as they see a man come out. He is accompanied by a horde of reporters, diligently taking pictures of his every move as he walks down to the ring.

He is none other than the dynamic dynamo of the wrestling ring. The man known through the seven continents as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I'm taking a moment from zombie hunting to give a very important public service announcement!"

The masked man walks by Allister King and Boy Bakla, stepping into the ring to face Shogun and Shadow Callahan. He looks at Shogun, then Shadow, then back at Shogun, then back at Shadow.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Awwwww, Primo has brought Carlito to hold his hand!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing hands them each an item.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "You ran out of toilet paper!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing then moves to point at Manolo Ferrer.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "You may be a crafty manager! But I think you're reading this wrong! I think Primo here is doing what any Primo would do when facing much better talent! And that is to bury his head in the sand! Raise his butt in the air! Get his sphincter all ready for some action! The names may change, but they tend to act the same way!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing pivots back to confront Shogun.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Now, this Primo has his very own Carlito! To tell him every day that he's okay! Carlito's here now to tell you it's not your fault that YOUR TALENT only takes you SO FAR!"

The crowd roars their agreement.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Shogun isn't hiding because he's afraid! He's hiding because HE! JUST! DOESN'T! HAVE! WHAT! IT! TAKES! AND! HE! KNOWS! IT!"

The reporters covering this huge meeting quickly transmit Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's broadside around the world.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "You want to talk about my MASK, Primo! We ALL wear masks here! Boy Bakla wears a mask! Allister King wears a mask! YOU wear a mask! Only it has EMO GOTH EYELINER!"

A few reporters get in the ring to take better pictures. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing reaches for his mask.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "There is a big difference between my mask and yours, Primo!"

The audience gasps and screams as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing whips off his mask.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "The difference is that your mask is ONE. SIZE. FITS. ALL."

Cameras go off all around Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing, now wearing his new Shogun mask. It is a full mask, complete with hair, scowl and even eyeliner.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "You don't care about whatever I'm going to say, so you obviously wouldn't mind if I go ahead and say this in front of everybody. You like to make a point how your actions make you better than me. That's a bad joke, fuckwit. Being some demonic god means you're just ANOTHER evildoer in the crowd. I find it funny that you have this fantasy that you're some dangerous monster, specifically when SOMEONE ELSE has already hijacked that gimmick and ran off with it. And once again, you don't even stand out. The only monster I see here is a Sesame Street refugee trying too hard. You're proud you DON'T create your opportunities, because all you're always looking for is a HANDOUT. We're talking a FIVE YEAR PITY PARTY of handouts. This is why your mask comes from the dollar store across the street, complete with a dinky manual. Fuck, I CAN ROLEPLAY FOR THE BOTH OF US, Shogun. And I KNOW I can do Shogun better than you. I just choose NOT to give another handout to the Demonic God of Mediocrity!"

With a quick yank, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing pulls off his Shogun mask, revealing another superhero mask that covers his whole head. He gives the Shogun mask to Shadow Callahan.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Citizen! Be sure that next time you do something with Primo, that it REALLY IS Primo, and not me!"

The masked man gives one parting shot to Shogun.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It's not your fault you're an Untalent! That's just how it is!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing exits the ring, followd dutifully by the reporters assigned to cover his every movement. He offers his condolences to Allister King, then looks back at Primo and Carlito one last time, before leaving the stage.

Shogun chuckles audibly at Q`s display

Shogun: "You are absolutely correct Q! I could not have said it any better myself."

The crowd does not seem to know what to say to this

Shogun: "I do not care what you have to say at all! Not in the least. You see I could go every single week of the year dropping your name with some sort of insult if I wanted to. I could post stupid pictures of you and call you some arbitrary wrestler who does this or that or that this much talent of that much talent. The thing is Q...I do not find you worth enough of my time to drop your ridiculous name or put one of your stupids masks on the screen. You may be able to make everyone laugh. You may create eight hundred more jokes about me by the end of this year but I know that while you are busy cracking your jokes I will be busy winning more titles! I will be busy twisting idiotic clowns like you into pretzels! I will not however care any more about you OR your jokes simply because you decided to come out and do exactly what I thought you would do in the first place!"

Shogun begins to pace the ring

Shogun: "Now onto more pressing matters. Allister and Bakla, You two are nearly the most pathetic duo I have ever laid eyes on. A drunkard and a...thing plan on taking down two hall of fame competitors who have been eating people like you for breakfast since the day we started our careers? I understand that you must be angry over the late Scott Logan`s murder Allister. However that anger will only bring you into misfortune! Just look at the position you are in right now. You have put yourself into a match with two of the most revered men in the history of this business. You have made it your personal duty to destroy Shadow Callahan, a man who could have set you on fire just as easily as he did your friend."

Shogun: "You have decided that since you must destroy Shadow, that means you will just have to go through me as well. Sadly I do not plan on going down very easily much like Shadow here will not be going down easily either. In fact we will not be beaten at all. You and Bakla there have given yourselves a one way ticket to the nearest emergency room my friends. Trust me when I say I have no real quarrel with you other than the fact that you would have sat and watched members of your roster shoot themselves in the head for entertainment. However that fault alone is enough for me to want you beaten down and begging for mercy at my feet."

Shogun stops pacing to look at his detractors

Shogun: "Now for you Manolo. This is the third time in a row that you have addressed me with the same exact points. You could not even dispute my arguments against you. You have no reason to even be out here at the moment other than to try and save face and regain whatever little credibility you may have had before you started to trifle in my business."

Shogun: "I believe that you have rocked the boat Manolo and now you have two options. Hold on tight or fall into the ocean as Shadow and I run over your little stable on our way to tag team glory. In my personal opinion? I do not think you have what it takes to stay above water."

Shogun lowers the mic in his hand and motions to Shadow as if questioning whether he has anything else to say

The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura and Leon walk slowly to the start of the ramp. Following behind is Yuki Monotomo. All three superstars stop and the lights turn back on after lightning strikes behind them. Ray takes a mic and motions for the other to stay back as Ray assumes the voice of the DWMA..

Ray Kamaura: "Wait wait wait. WAIT A MINUTE. Sorry to interrupt Q and Shogun's little fued but I don't think I heard you right."

Ray walks past Alister King and stops about halfway down the ramp.

Ray Kamaura: "Did Shadow say that "We are planning to pick up where we left off and our targets. Manolo and the Age of Pain!" Now, that just doesn't fly with The DWMA."

Ray motions his hands to Shogun implying that he will continue.

Ray Kamaura: "Before you wet yourself, out of Demonic rage and a very uncontrolable bladder problem, hear me out. Now you and the other sex pistol need to take a number and get in line. The back of the line that is. You can't just decide to throw together a rag tag team of two long time Demonic buddies and think you just get to go right at the champs. The DWMA has been gunning for the titles for a long time. Our past failures have only strengthened our resolve to accomplish our final goal. But you are more than welcome to have whats left after The DWMA destroys The Age of Pain."

Ray lowers the mic and allows for a response, but with all the superstars in the arena Ray doesn't know what to expect.

Boy Bakla looks at the gathering of odd people now at ringside and shakes it's head.

Boy Bakla: "Wow, this turned out to be a bigger party than I thought it would be. Even the infamous Ray Kamaura is here, we can have an orgy now. It's a shame Q left early, I heard he is quite the Casanova in his country..."

A soft chuckle comes from the crowd.

Boy Bakla: "Now seriously, this is really about me and Allister settling something first with Shadow and Shogun over there and people just keep butting in... That is a no-no! Be patient and you'll get your turn."

Bakla focuses it's attention on The DWMA and continues.

Boy Bakla: "You claim that you've been gunning for the tag titles for quite some time now. Shouldn't failing all those times you went after it already be enough embarrassment for you boys? Seriously how many title shots have The DWMA blown? Why don't you boys go back to the locker room for now and play amongst yourselves? I can join you later to teach you boys some fundamentals."

Bakla winks at The DWMA then turns it's attention back to The Anarchists.

Boy Bakla: "You need to focus on the right people kiddies, you focus Manolo and Q but forget that we are the ones you are facing tonight. Oh you may think that a tranny and drunkard do not pose much of a threat but that underestimation will be the thing that causes anarchy within The Anarchists."

Bakla pauses then looks at it's watch and gasps out loud.

Boy Bakla: "Oh dear, looks like it's time for my facial... I would like to stay here and chit chat longer but I am a busy busy girl... Until later boys, toodles!"

Bakla lowers the mic, turns around with a flourish and waves to everyone blowing kisses as it exits to the back.

Shogun sighs before putting the mic up again

Shogun: "It is as if we have traded in once annoying gnat for another! Kamaura I do not know what has happened to you in the last few months...You went from a man worthy of challenging me for the Primo Ultimo championship to...well a joke."

Shogun: "I mean look at you! You go from being a top contender for this federations greatest prize down to being a lap dog for Conway and then even further as a member of that one team the age of pain beat to keep their titles. I find it astonishing how far you have fallen since tapping out twice in the same match against me."

Shogun chuckles to himself before continuing

Shogun: "I believe I have said all that I can say now my friends. I shall be taking my leave unless you happen to want to say anything else Shadow?"

Shadow raises his microphone and points towards DWMA

Shadow Callahan: "We will do what you 3 haven't done and well never do. Butcher that Age of Pain, and walk away with those titles."

Shadow grins

Shadow Callahan: "You can try coming after us, and we promise you that you will meet your end, while the world stands laughing at blood soaked bodies."

He turns his attention around to Allister

Shadow Callahan: "I tell you one thing Allister. I would rather be a faggot and a burned out granny fucker any day."

Allister tries to go to the ring but he is stopped by security and begins heading to the back

Shadow Callahan: "Boo fucking hoo! You can't even get to me. But I will get to your wife and I will make her scream in all night long."

Allister attempts to break through the security but is unsuccessful

Shadow Callahan: "You get more pathetic with each passing minute."

He laughs then lowers the microphone

"Fire Flame" by Birdman starts to sound, and Campeones Companeros appears at the entrance ramp with a microphones in their hands.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Ray you just talk and talk but don’t do nothing real. We again hear another one of your promises and threats, and we are looking forward to see what excuse you will have when you fail."

Now Arnold turns his attention to Shogun.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Shogun! You want to talk about rocking boats? Your canoe is leaking."

Schwarz brings out the big cue card with Goodfella's score. Felix raises a big cue card to show to everyone:

GOODFELLA: 1

SHOGUN: 0

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Your canoe is leaking."

Then GoodFella & Schwarz music hits and they exit to the backstage.

Shogun raises the mic with a sigh.

Shogun: "That you for giving everyone in the building a peek at your arts and crafts project Mr Bold I hope it did not take to many hours to complete because trust me when I say this. You will need those hours to train if you even want a prayer of beating The Anarchists of ULOL."

Shogun begins the leave the ring before raising the mic one more time.

Shogun: "Also I heard you the first time you told me about my canoe there was no need to repeat yourself."

Shogun chuckles before setting the mic down and leaving the ring, motioning for Shadow to join him

Manolo Ferrer: "Take note that Mr. Shogun has to now resort to trashing my client's use of English, because he really has nothing else of substance to refute what my clients have to say."

Manolo Ferrer's words boom through the giant screen above the stage.

Manolo Ferrer: "You could have won that match. Some say maybe you should have. You didn't."

The manager of the Age of Pain disappears into static, as the video feed is cut.

THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!

The humongous wrestler also known as The Morbidly Obese Man walks out unto the entrance ramps in a jolly mood. Totally oblivious to the aura of animosity that is already shrouding the ring.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "So I heard Bakla mention that there is a party happening... Am I late? Is food still available?"

The blank and confused stares of the wrestlers towards the overweight wrestler made him realize his error.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Oh so there is no party here? Whoops, I just thought that since everyone is here and..."

The big wrestler never got to finish as everyone starts filing out leaving the big man alone...

The Morbidly Obese Man: "IT'S NOT TOO LATE! WE CAN STILL HAVE A PARTY! GUYS?! GUYS?!"

The hungry wrestler calls out only to be ignored as he shrugs and shakes his head before exiting to the back.

THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens with Lucian Blackheart and Lex Lexington standing at the backstage interview area.

Lex Lexington: "Ladies and gentlemen, joining us here today is the ULOL Ligero Maximo champion, Lucian Blackheart. Lucian, reading from your previous line of occupation you were once a professional gambler, can you give us your professional opinion on the outcome of 10-Man Maximo Ligero Number One Contender Battle Royale?"

Lucian Blackheart: "Well, this isn't horse betting. In a 10-Man Battle Royale you can never count anybody out, it's anybody's game. But if I were to put money on anyone, it would be Alexander Conway."

Lex Lexington: "And why would that be?"

Lucian smiles as he pulls Lex Lexington's wrist with the mic towards himself.

Lucian Blackheart: "Confidence, charisma, intelligence and a great all-around wrestling ability. I've seen more of this in Alexander Conway then any other competitor in that particular line up. Look at it this way, he's the less good looking version of me."

Lucian releases his grip from Lex's wrist.

Lex Lexington: "If Alexander Conway does manage to get the victory that makes him the number one contender for your title, have you devised a plan already that will prevent your championship belt from changing hands?"

Lucian Blackheart: "I don't know.. Immigration? I see myself as a person who doesn't need to use dirty tactics to win. I'm not to sure about Alexander Conway, but I intend to fight a good fair fight and hope it comes out in my favor."

A puzzled look appears on Lex's face

Lex Lexington: "But from looking at your previous fights you've always used dirty tac-."

Lucian interrupts Lex snatching the mic right out of Lex's hands.

Lucian Blackheart: "Look at that, you're out of time. No further questions.

Lucian tosses the mic up towards Lex Lexington and begins to walk away.

Lex Lexington: "Um, okay. Well, thank you for your ti-."

Before Lex can finish, Lucian disappears from his line of sight.

Lex Lexington: "Time. So I guess that's um.. Back to yeah.. Brad?"

The scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

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Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Freeca10

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Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

&

VS

&

Jim Jackson: "Well the following match is certainly interesting. We have the team up of the former ULOL Primo Ultimo Shogun and newcomer Shadow Callahan, but the opponents they are facing tonight is an odd team up, our esteemed general manager Allister King and Boy Bakla."

Brad Blood: "No what's odd is that Allister has been sober all this time, you'd think that a death of a close friend would spiral him into more inebriation but, it sobered him up! He's not fun anymore..."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a tag team match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first the team of Allister King and Boy Bakla!"

A coyote howl is heard throughout the arena as the entrance is covered in smoke. Godsmack's "Whiskey Hangover" begins to play as Allister king walks out onto the entrance ramp with a cigarette in his mouth and a bottle of whiskey in his hand. Allister Falls a few times on his way to ring and sits on the ring apron while he finishes his cigarette and bottle of whiskey. He falls of the ring apron and hits his head of the ground which somehow seems to sobers him up enough for him to enter the ring. He gets in the ring and sits in the corner.

Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to it's corner waiting for the match to begin.

Jim Jackson: "A common goal of getting justice for Scott Logan brought two unlikely allies together, will they be able to win against their foes tonight?"

Brad Blood: "It says here on the dossier that this Shadow Callahan was the one who trained Allister King, this will be an uphill battle for King and Bakla..."

Jasmine Lee: "And their opponents for tonight, Shadow Callahan and Shogun, The Anarchists!"

Hurt's "Rapture" begins to blast through the PA system. A blinding light and smoke covers the entrance. Shadow Callahan makes his way out wearing a white expressionless mask and carrying the harbinger. He looks up to the skies and raises his arms as 2 flaming crucifixes appear. He walks down to the ring with his head down. He enters the ring, stands motionless in the centre of the ring with one hand covering the mask. He takes the mask off and lets out a primal scream. He looks around him before walking over to the corner.

"A Victim, A Target" by Misery Signals blasts though the arena speakers ans the lights begin to flash on and off. As the lyrics begin Shogun bursts from behind the curtains with fire erupting from the ramp beside him. Shogun begins to make his way to the ring with a look of pure intensity on his face. as he makes it to the ring he runs up and rolls into the ring the expression on his face unchanged.

Jim Jackson: "An imposing sight indeed is the team of Shadow Callahan and Shogun, if their team up is official, we may have a serious threat in the tag division soon."

Brad Blood: "Imposing is an understatement, I think those two just made me pee my pants. The Mad Man and The Demonic God..."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this fight is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! It looks like it's Bakla and Shogun starting for their respective teams. Shogun charges in with a big right, but Bakla intercepts him with a forearm to the face! Irish whip by Bakla... Big backdrop on Shogun, executed well. Bakla hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Tw..."

Brad Blood: "Kick out by Shogun! A little early to be pinning the former ULOL Primo Ultimo. Bakla goes for a hip toss, NO! Blocked by Shogun who reverses it! It's Bakla who's sent to the canvas."

Jim Jackson: "Bakla eats a suplex from Shogun! Bakla struggles to it's feet but Shogun lies waiting... Reverse DDT on Bakla! Bakla is down! Shogun looks to his corner... He tags in Shadow Callahan! Bakla struggles to his feet he turns around... Spear! Bakla is down!"

Brad Blood: "Shadow Callahan unleashes a fury of kicks to the downed Bakla! Oh man those will leave a mark... Wait Bakla catches Shadow Callahan's leg! the fruitcake shoves Callahan back..."

Jim Jackson: "Bakla unleashes a series of slaps! Mad Man gets slapped around like a bitch! Shadow Callahan throws a punch, Bakla with a neckbreaker! Bakla leaps to Allister King's outstretched arms... TAG! Allister King lunges into the ring with fists flying hitting punch after punch on his mentor!"

Brad Blood: "Shadow Callahan blocks a punch and counters with an Irish whip sending King to the ropes... No! King reverses the Irish whip and it's Callahan who gets sent to the ropes instead!"

Jim Jackson: "Back body drop sends Mad Man flying to the canvas! Knee drop on Shadow Callahan and Allister King hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Shadow Callahan kicks out! Callahan starts to fight back to his feet, he and Allister King exchange punches... Oh! Huge uppercut by Allister King stuns The Mad Man."

Jim Jackson: "A kick to the gut sets Shadow Callahan up... Piledriver! King again hooks the leg for a pinfall attempt."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Still only a two! Allister drags Shadow Callahan to their corner and tags in Bakla! He has Shadow Callahan in a full nelson hold... Bakla kicks Callahan in the guts."

Jim Jackson: "Bakla hits a great swinging DDT on Shadow Callahan. Bakla grabs Shadow Callahan's leg and locks in a Texas cloverleaf! Callahan is trapped but somehow manages to get to the bottom rope! Bakla unleashes kicks unto Callahan with ballet like grace."

Brad Blood: "Mad Man blocks a kick from Boy Bakla. Running knee lift from Shadow Callahan and Bakla goes down! Shadow Callahan hits an elbow drop followed by a leg drop then a fist drop! He tags out to his partner..."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun enters the ring again! Bakla gets back to his feet into a legsweep! Shogun tries to lock in a Boston crab, no Bakla reverses it into an ankle lock... Shogun twists around and reverses it into scorpion death lock! Bakla makes it to the ropes!"

Brad Blood: "Rope break and Shogun lets go. Bakla and Shogun locks arms and engage in a test of strength... Damn, for a tranny, Bakla is actually holding his own against The Demonic God's strength... Well I guess since both are supernatural beings, it's plausible... One's a god and the other is a fairy."

Jim Jackson: "While Shogun and Bakla are grappling away, Shadow Callahan has sneaked to the other side... HE ATTACKS ALLISTER KING FROM BEHIND! POWER SLAM UNTO THE STEEL STEPS AND ALLISTER KING IS DOWN! Bakla gets distracted by the assault on it's partner... Shogun capitalizes! Shogun lifts Boy Bakla up into into the air in a half nelson and then into a backdrop position before slamming Boy Bakla down to a sitting position, slamming the back of his neck to the canvas executing a Demonic Sacrifice! Shogun hooks the leg!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, the team of Shadow Callahan and Shogun, The Anarchists!"

Brad Blood: "Shadow Callahan and Shogun gets the win tonight! But wait, they are not done yet... Shadow Callahan drags Allister King into the ring... Shadow Callahan grabs the kendo stick and grins madly before hitting Allister King in the gut. Shadow Callahan proceeds to place in the kendo stick against his victims throat and locking in a full nelson, choking the opponent. He slams the opponent face first into the mat with a full nelson face buster without letting go of the weapon. Shadow Callahan proceeds to position himself and begins choking Allister King with a full nelson camel clutch with the weapon pushing against his victims throat executing a Damnation! Allister King is tapping but it's no use!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun isn't done with Bakla too! Shogun stands over Boy Bakla who is lying on the mat face up and grasps his leg, Shogun then does a spinning toe hold and grasps the other leg, crossing them into a four locking in the Demonic Reckoning! Bakla is screaming in pain! Both men hold on to their submission until BOTH Allister King and Boy Bakla passes out! Such brutality! The Anarchists celebrate as the crowd boos. EMTs rush to the scene to treat the downed general manager and transsexual..."

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Sun May 08, 2011 10:53 am

Lex Lexington is standing backstage, he see's Raven Connoly walking down the hallway. Lex walks over to Raven.

Lex Lexington: "Raven, I don't think we've meet, I'm Lex Lexington, the new backstage interviewer, you have a few moments."

Raven Connoly: "Nice to meet you Lex, sure I have some time."

Lex Lexington: "You have a steel cage match with Taufik for the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly, are you nervous?"

Raven Connoly: "It's a steel cage match Lex, of course I'm nervous, it's a brutal match no matter who your opponent is. My opponent tonight is Taufik, obviously he isn't afraid to be brutal as hell in a match, and he's pissed that I took his belt as well. So tonight's match is going to be a grueling match, I already know that, but Taufik should know that I can be just as brutal as him, so he would be wise not to underestimate me."

Lex Lexington: "Earlier Eunice P Winslow announced that you will be participating in the 10-man over the top rope battle royale to determine the number 1 contender for the ULOL Ligero Maximo. Are you at all worried that your steel cage match tonight will put you at a disadvantage next week in the battle royale?"

Raven Connoly: "Well, tonight's match will definitely take its toll, but I'll have a week to heal up and get ready, I think I'll be ready for next week. I made a promise a few months ago that I would be a main eventer in ULOL, and I have definitely kept my promise and delivered to my fans. Do you realize the opportunity I have next week, I've already become ULOL's first double champion, but can you imagine if I win next's weeks battle royale I will have a match with Lucian Blackheart for the ULOL Ligero Maximo. That means as of right now, I have a chance at becoming ULOL's first triple champion, and ULOL first female ULOL Ligero Maximo champion. Now, I am up against some great competitors next week, and winning won't be easy, but I have a golden opportunity here to really prove what I can do, so as of right now I'm determined to win that battle royale and beat Lucian Blackheart at the PPV and become the new ULOL Ligero Maximo Champion."

Lex Lexington: "Those are some big aspirations, Eunice also announced a tournament to find the nest number 1 contender for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino, which means you will have a title match coming up for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino, it seems unlikely that you are going to come out on top at the end of all this, you have quite a challenge ahead of you."

Raven Connoly: "Don't get me wrong, my chances of winning all of these matches is slim, I'm smart enough to know that, I've been on a winning streak and eventually it will end. There's one thing I love though, and that's a challenge, and becoming ULOL first triple champion is a hell of a challenge. So are my chances slim, hell yes they are, but with my fans support, I'm definitely going to give everything I've got to accomplish this goal. My first obstacle is keeping my Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly in my match against Taufik. Taufik may be mad as hell, and determined to cripple me, but this woman is on a mission, and that mission begins tonight when I beat Taufik and retain the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly. ULOL's favorite sweetheart is about to go hardcore, so everyone better watch out."

Lex Lexington: "That kinda sounded dirty, but good luck tonight."

Raven smiles.

Raven Connoly: "Well, sorry boys, but not that kind of hardcore, but I'm sure you still have plenty to look at in my match tonight."

Raven winks at the camera and then turns and walks down the hall towards the arena. The camera focuses back on Lex who is clearly checking Raven out as she walks away. Lex looks at the camera.

Lex Lexington: "Oh, uhm, well that should be one great match, now lets go back to the ULOL arena."

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

Staff backstage step aside when they see the crowd of reporters fill the hall. The group moves as one, following the slightest move of the globetrotting grappler.

He is none other than the masked master known to millions only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It is clear Primo lies! He is someone who is so proud of trying to be evil! He cannot stand being in the same building or forum as one who is his opposite! He is a man who cannot help but lash out at anyone who even mentions his name! From Conway to Taufik to Raven! He has to come out and promise pain and punishment! It must be fun being his girlfriend!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing stops to elaborate, pretending to be Shogun and his girlfriend.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello Shogun! How are you today!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "You dare use my name woman!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Then the next day she has to tell everyone she got her black eye walking into a door!"

Reporter: "You're saying Shogun beats his girlfriends."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "He has to do something to live up to his name! And I hope he restocks the toilet paper when I come back next week!"

Reporter 2: "You have a big title match next week. You will fight Zombie and Morbidly Unstoppable for the ULOL's top title."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It is more than a title match! This is a chance to rid the world of that zombie! And that tainted title that is in his name! He has made a mockery of everything good and decent for too long! To even see him happily eating free cat is an additional outrage I will not stand for! I hope the UJJ and the big mountain of manmeat will help me wipe that abomination off the face of the earth! Along with that tainted and scummy title belt he carries!"

Reporter 2: "Morbidly Unstoppable might not be so eager to help you get rid of that championship belt."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I hope that is not the case! Evil must be wiped away! And I plan to wipe it off so thoroughly the ULOL will have a fine sheen!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing receives another question, but the battery in the ULOL camera runs out of power, and the signal goes dead.

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens with a shot of the ULOL Primo Ultimo championship belt. The camera zooms out and we see Zombie standing backstage with the belt hung over his right shoulder. He has a huge grin on his face and looks to the new backstage interviewer Lex Lexington. Zombie scans Lexington with his eyes, briefly stopping over Lexington's chest area. He looks back to Lex Lexington once satisfied with what he sees. Lex Lexington looks at Zombie confused and begins to speak.

Lex Lexington: "Uhh it's nice to meet you Zombie ... is there a problem?"

Zombie is taken aback by the first question of many. He shakes his head.

Zombie: "I was just making sure that what you look like is who you actually are. I mean alot of people were not expecting Stephanie Dawson to be some transvestite now were they? Otherwise certain people in this company would not have flirted with her!"

Lex Lexington: "I suppose that's true. Your not going to hit on me are you?"

Zombie: "Huh? No, I'm not going to "hit on you" if you want to call it that! I will take a nice chunk out of your neck though if you don't start asking me some real questions!"

Lex Lexington: "Right okay I'm sorry if I offended you!"

Zombie leans in to Lexington and snarls menacingly.

Zombie: "Just get on with it jackass."

Zombie stands up straight again as Lex Lexington quickly gains his composure and starts with his carefully planned out questions.

Lex Lexington: "You have a Fatal Four Way next week with some pretty outstanding competitors and your championship is on the line. How are you feeling about your first title defense?"

Zombie: "I feel good. In fact I feel the best that I have ever been in a long while! I took some beatings at the PPV but I feel good. As for my competition ... well they are finally making a move! A move I gave to them on a plate but a move all the same. These guys have been talking and talking all over this federation! Especially Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing! But now let's see if they can back up what they say! Next week is going to be massive! A BIG title match on a non-PPV show!"

Lex Lexington: "Do you suspect any double teaming especially on you?"

Zombie: "Of course they'll team up and try to take me out! But they need to remember that this is not a handicap match! This is a fully fledged title match for the Primo Ultimo Championship! And I urge Morbidly Unstoppable especially to think about that very carefully!"

Lex Lexington: "Now on last weeks show when you were out in the ring, peculiar things started to happen around the arena and someone somewhere spoke to you and you alone. Afterward you seemed spooked out and quickly made an exit. What can you tell us about that?"

Zombie: "All I'm going to say is if that person comes anywhere near me during the title match next week! I'm going to personally put an end to that person once and for all! I thought I'd gotten away from the bastard but obviously the freak wants to play with fire again! And fire is what he is going to get!"

Lex Lexington: "Anything else you wanted to talk about?"

Zombie: "What sort of a question is that? Your too lazy to do your job?"

Lex Lexington: "I just wanted to know if you wanted to get anything else off your chest."

Zombie pauses for a moment, licks his lips and continues on.

Zombie: "........ Fair enough. There WAS one thing I got quite angry about. And that was the total waste of Scott Logan. Just left to burn to ash? That wannabe freak could have just brought Logan to me! I'd have happily taken care of him and I would have gotten intoxicated at the same time! That waste of a human body was also part of why I went to Switzerland to feed! And now talking about it is making me hungry dammit!!"

Lex Lexington suddenly processes some thoughts very quickly through his head. Lexington smiles nervously at Zombie who starts drooling over his championship belt.

Lex Lexington: "Well .. that is fascinating! Thank you for your time! Oh look! Another wrestler to interview!"

Zombie quickly glances in the direction of which Lexington is pointing to see who it is. When Zombie looks back to where Lex Lexington is standing there is no one to be seen. Zombie shrugs his shoulders and grins with evil intent. Zombie then chuckles and strokes his championship belt as the camera slowly fades out.

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

VS

Jim Jackson: "And here you are folks, the main event of the evening, Raven Connoly will be defending the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly against Taufik in a cage match!"

Brad Blood: "Well seriously that belt should have belonged to one person, Lucian Blackheart. Taufik threw a tantrum and took out Blackheart after getting eliminated."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a cage match and is for the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly. Introducing first, she is the current and reigning ULOL Campeón No Masculino, current and reigning Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly, Raven Connoly!"

"Warriors Code" By The Dropkick Murphy's starts to play throughout the arena. Raven runs out onto the stage, she throws her fist in the air and screams as a barrage of fireworks go off behind her.

Jasmine Lee: "And the challenger, here's Taufik!"

"All that Remains" started playing as Taufik walks out and pryos started to come out as he makes his way to the ring with his trusty Singapore Cane. When he reaches the ring, he raises his Singapore Cane as another set of pryos come out before he waits for his victim.

Jim Jackson: "Both wrestlers are already in the ring as the steel cage is slowly lowered encircling them in the brutal steel structure."

Brad Blood: "The last cage match we was when Alexander Conway and Shogun fought for the ULOL Primo Ultimo title. I hope this match will also be as good as that one."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Raven scores with a quick kick on Tau right off the bat. Raven Connoly launches Tau into the cage wall."

Brad Blood: "Tau somehow is able to cling to the cage wall and starts to climb! Raven chases after Tau... Both wrestlers try to shove each other off the cage wall... And end up crashing back to the canvas after a struggle!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven hits a couple of hard elbows on Tau... Raven hits a flying kick on Tau sending him down! Raven leaps to the cage wall and starts scaling..."

Brad Blood: "Tau catches on to Raven's leg and stops her from scaling up! Tau hits a couple of hard shot's into Raven's back... Raven loses her grip... Tau has Raven on his shoulders while precariously balanced on the top rope... FALL AWAY SLAM FROM THE TOP ROPE!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven is down... Tau is not done yet. He grabs Raven and starts slamming Raven Connoly into the cage wall! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Tau is not holding anything back. Taufik launches Raven into the cage wall. Big piledriver on Raven."

Brad Blood: "Raven is lying down on the mat... Can she even move after an onslaught like that? Tau leaps to the ropes and starts scaling up the cage wall... He stops and looks at Raven's lifeless body and a smile creeps up his lips... Don't tell me he's gonna sexually harass the unconscious Raven?! Tau jumps back down!"

Jim Jackson: "Tau want's to make Raven suffer for taking the Correa Grande Del Oro from him... He hits a few stomps on Raven... Irish whip sends Raven to the ropes... Raven somehow ducks below a clothesline! Raven bounces back on the ropes... SHE COLLIDES INTO TAUFIK IN A SPEAR! Both wrestlers are down!"

Brad Blood: "Both of them aren't moving... The ref checks up on both and then begins counting..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven is starting to stir..."

Brad Blood: "Well Taufik is not that far behind. He's starting to twitch..."

Jack B. Nimble: "Four! Five! Six!"

Jim Jackson: "Both wrestlers struggle to opposite sides of the ring and tries to prop themselves up using the ropes."

Brad Blood: "It's a race to see who will get up first or will both wrestlers be counted out..."

Jack B. Nimble: "Seven! Eight! Nine!"

Jim Jackson: "Both Raven and Tau finally make it up to their feet just before the count of ten! Taufik regains his bearings first and charges in... Raven with a dropkick from nowhere! That sent Taufik staggering back! Taufik backs into the ropes and uses it to bounce back... Raven hits a spinning back fist!"

Brad Blood: "Taufik falls to one knee! Raven hits a shining wizard and Taufik is down! Raven with and Irish whip sends Tau to the ropes... NO! Reversed by Taufik and Raven is the one sent to the ropes. Raven bounces back into Tau's arms... reverse back suplex!"

Jim Jackson: "Taufik sees this as a chance to climb up the steel cage... He starts his ascent... Wait! Somehow Raven shakes the cobwebs off and has climbed after Tau. She gets a grip on Tau's leg just as Tau is reaching the top..."

Brad Blood: "Raven holds on to Tau's leg with both hands... She jumps off the cage and pulls Tau down with her... OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Tau loses his grip and falls down as his family jewel lands right between the ropes!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven leaps to the top rope and hits a spinning kick into Taufik sending him down! Irish whip by Raven... Taufik ducks a Raven Connoly clothesline. Raven gets slammed. Taufik is going in for the kill... Instead he walks into a trip!"

Brad Blood: "Raven Connoly climbs the cage, but gets pulled down by Tau! Face crusher from Raven on Tau. Taufik somehow shakes that off but Raven is already making her way up the cage! Tau quickly follows..."

Jim Jackson: "Taufik pulls Raven down! Raven ducks below a huge right and kicks Taufik in the guts. Raven Connoly bounces off the ropes and runs towards Taufik lifts her leg and kicks Taufik in the jaw with the heel of her shoes executing a devastating Bloody Sunday! This could be it! Raven smiles as her finisher connects! She leaps to the cage wall and starts to climb..."

Brad Blood: "The crowd reacts as Taufik somehow shakes off the efects of the Bloody Sunday! Raven notices it and turns her head to see Taufik nipping at her heels! Raven resumes her climb to the top... Taufik is not far behind..."

Jim Jackson: "Raven reaches the top and hoists herself over... Tau grabs on to Raven's thighs and pulls himself up too! Both wrestlers are now on top! They start to trade blows..."

Brad Blood: "The crowd is on the edge of their seats as both wrestlers fight it out on top of the steel cage! Raven Connoly and Taufik throws all their strength into their next punch... BOTH PUNCHES CONNECT!!! Raven and Taufik are both staggering precariously on the top of the steel cage..."

Jim Jackson: "Raven and Taufik try to shake the cobwebs off... It they should fall from this height it would be deadly! RAVEN FALLS OVER! TAUFIK FALLS OVER! Wait! Both wrestlers are still hanging to the edge of the steel cage! Both wrestlers look at each other and look at the ground below! They release their grip and both wrestlers fall to the ground below! Who won?! Who reached the ground first?!"

Brad Blood: "The referee asks for the footage to be replayed on the big screen... Oh, there's the release... Raven released her grip on the steel cage an a split second before Tau did and that made her land first! The referee is raising Raven's hand!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and STILL Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly, Raven Connoly!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly retains the title after a well fought battle! The referee hands Raven her belt... Taufik pushes the referee away. Taufik spins Raven around and hits her with the Singapore Cane! The crowd shows their displeasure at Taufik's action. Taufik raises the cane one more time..."

Brad Blood: "IT'S YUKI MONOTOMO!!! Yuki Monotomo rushes in and takes Taufik down with a spear! It's payback for Taufik's assault earlier! Taufik and Monotomo start brawling! Raven gets up and joins the brawl as well!"

Jim Jackson: "Security has come in and they try to bring order as they separate the three wreslters! Wait who's that on top of the entrance ramp?! It's the VGM of ULOL Mrs. Eunice Winslow!"

Eunice P. Winslow: "Now hold it! The match is over and I have had enough of my roster getting injured fighting in non-sanctioned fights. So let's settle this in the ring... On the 29th of May on the PPV it will be a triangle match between Raven Connoly, Taufik and Yuki Monotomo for the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly! Until then none of you shall be allowed to physically attack or assault each other before the scheduled match. Any failure to comply shall be met by a suspension!"

Brad Blood: "Whoa! Already we have a match booked for the PPV! This time Yuki Monotomo lucks out and gets a title shot too! Man what a turn of events..."

Jim Jackson: "Looks like things just got a little more interesting."

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

Brad Blood: "Whoa! Now this is what you call a show, We had five great matches, every card delivered! I love this show!"

Jim Jackson: "With a beat down in almost every ending?! how is that great?!"

Brad Blood: "Don't be such a prude... This is what ULOL needs, MORE VIOLENCE!"

Jim Jackson: "Sigh, forgive my idiot partner folks, since he has nothing better to rave about, I guess it's time for us to sign off, good night and see you all again next week."

Lucha Loco 05/08/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/08/2011

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