Subject: Lucha Loco 05/22/2011 Sun May 22, 2011 11:55 am
Jim Jackson: "Good evening and welcome to Lucha Loco, with only one more week until the Cojones Grande pay-per-view, things are certainly heating up here in ULOL."
Brad Blood: "That's right Jim, we have great matches for you this evening including a main event that will get up the participants in the four-way elimination challenge for the tag titles next week."
Jim Jackson: "I bet the fans are as eager as us to get the show started, so without further ado, LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Just before the first match of the evening, Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow comes out from the entrance tunnel and heads straight to the ring. The crowd looks on as the feisty matriarch of ULOL enters the ring and asks for a mic.
Eunice P. Winslow: "Good evening everyone, many of you may be wondering why I am out here so early tonight. Well, I have an announcement to make in regards to the actions of Mr. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing last week."
The attention of the crowd gets captured at the pronouncement of Q's name.
Eunice P. Winslow: "As you all know, just before the show closed, Q threw the stolen ULOL Primo Ultimo belt into a wood chipper shredding the premier title of ULOL. Unfortunately this action has been seen as a sign of disrespect for ULOL and a punishment must be handed down. Though it will be unpopular, it is with great sadness that I announce that until Mr. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing pays for the production of a new belt, he shall be indefinitely suspended from the roster."
Loud gasps and boos are heard echoing throughout the arena. Mrs. Winslow raises her arm and signals for the crowd to settle down.
Eunice P. Winslow: "I understand many of you are unhappy with this decision, but the disruptive actions of Mr. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing has provoked management and this leaves us with little choice in the matter. His suspension shall be lifted once he pays for a replacement belt. That is all."
Eunice drops the mic and exits the ring heading out to the back as the crowd looks stupefied at the suspension of their favorite masked wrestler.
William LaCroix is leaning up against a wall backstage as the camera approaches him. He looks both vexed and yet slightly amused.
William LaCroix: "I don't know if I should be mad or amused by the pathetic joke that has been played on me tonight."
LaCroix pushes himself off of the wall before beginning to walk down the hallway. The camera follows him.
William LaCroix: "You see, I left management an open window to put me up against anyone on the roster, and who do they choose? A lightweight! A freakin' lightweight! I don't know whether I should be annoyed by this lack of respect in my ability, or if I should laugh at the sheer worthlessness of my opponent. John Johnson, a lightweight jobber who is hunted by some coward that hides behind a mask."
William stops and looks at the camera.
William LaCroix: "So, you tell me, what should I feel?"
After waiting a moment for an answer, LaCroix begins walking again.
William LaCroix: "I'm facing an inferior opponent, which is to be expected since all of those that constitute the lightweight division are losers and wastes of time and space. Oh well, maybe the eradication of another one of these over hyper runts will convince management to finally kick the little boys off of my playground."
LaCroix reaches his locker room, enters, and shuts the door right in the camera's lens, ending the scene.
"One" from Metallica blast trough the speakers and sparks are showering as John "Grey Skull" Johnson makes his way to the ring, wearing shorts when he hits the ring, lightning hits the ring posts.
We see John "Grey Skull" Johnson asking for the mic once he got it he walks to the center the ring and starts to talk.
John "Grey Skull" Johnson: "You know what I'm getting sick of this. Week after week some low life punk is trying to get me out of this company. You all know who I'm talking about right? In case you don't know I'll tell you. It's The Masked Man. He is some loser who hides behind his mask unable to win a normal match so he needs to "show" people he is still here in case they forget him. He does this by cheating making sure the new guy doesn't overrun him and let people forget about him. Last time I saw him he cost me the battle royale which I was pretty sure I would win, but NOOOOOO The Masked Loser had to interfere."
John "Grey Skull" Johnson: "But enough about him Let's talk about my next match. I'm feeling sorry for my opponent William LaCroix. I'm gonna let out all the frustrations caused by The Masked Man out on you. All I can say to LaCroix is bring some medical back-up with you to the ring."
John "Grey Skull" throws down his mic and walks to the back
VS
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, John "Grey Skull" Johnson!"
One from Metallica blast trough the speakers Sparks are showering as Grey Skull makes his way to the ring, wearing Shorts when he hits the ring the thunder will hit the ring posts.
Jasmine Lee: And now, introducing his opponent for the evening, William LaCroix!"
"Sonne" by Rammstein begins playing over the speakers as the big man from Switzerland walks down towards the ring. He ignores the crowd as he climbs up the metal stairs onto the ring apron. After wiping his feet on the apron, LaCroix swings one of his long legs over the top rope before doing the same with the other.
Brad Blood: "So tonight, we have another jobber going up against William LaCroix? A lightweight too, this won't end well."
Jim Jackson: "I have no clue what is wrong with LaCroix. Why would he intentionally continue to insult the lightweight division?"
Brad Blood: "It's simple Jim, because he can!"
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this contest is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "LaCroix kicks Johnson in the gut to start this match off. LaCroix irish whips Johnson to the ropes, he comes back, but is able to duck the attempted clothesline. He keeps the momentum and comes flying back, LaCroix looking for the big boot but Johnson ducks it too! Grey Skull stops himself at the ropes. LaCroix charges in looking for the spear, but Grey Skull sidesteps and sends him tumbling out of the ring!"
Brad Blood: "A bad mistake from LaCroix, who's having trouble getting back up. He may have tweaked his knee, Jim. Grey Skull takes advantage of his opponent's troubles, vaulting over the ropes and down onto LaCroix!"
Jim Jackson: "Johnson looking to pick LaCroix up, but LaCroix starts throwing punches into Johnson's gut before following up with a knee to the gut."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"
Jim Jackson: "LaCroix grabs Johnson's skull and slams it off of the steel steps. LaCroix goes to lift Johnson into a bodyslam, but Johnson slips down and pushes LaCroix hard into the steel steps."
Brad Blood: "There is no way LaCroix's knee is 100% in this match. Absolutely no way. He looked to have tweaked it falling from the ring, and now he's had it slammed into metal."
Don Q. Hotte: "Three!"
Jim Jackson: "John Johnson rolls back into the ring, but LaCroix is still trying to recover on the outside."
Don Q. Hotte: "Four!"
Brad Blood: "Johnson should have remained outside and inflicted more damage to LaCroix while he was still down. LaCroix manages to grab the bottom rope and pulls himself into the ring."
Jim Jackson: "Johnson stops LaCroix from getting up with stomps. The referee pulls him away though as LaCroix is still under the ropes."
Brad Blood: "As LaCroix manages to pull himself up using the ropes Johnson hits him with a low dropkick to the injured knee before following it up with a DDT! Johnson goes for the cover!"
Jim Jackson: "LaCroix tosses him off before the referee can even begin to count. LaCroix gets caught by an enziguri kick to the head before he can get off his knees. Johnson again tries for the pin."
Don Q. Hotte: "One..."
Brad Blood: "Johnson gets a one count before LaCroix pushes him off. Grey Skull grabs the injured limb and goes to lock in a figure four, but LaCroix is able to push him away. LaCroix is able to get to his feet before diving into Johnson with a big clothesline! LaCroix rolls onto Johnson for the cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One..."
Jim Jackson: "Grey Skull kicks out at one. LaCroix slams Grey Skull with a bodyslam, but Grey Skull quickly scrambles back to his feet. William kicks him in the gut and lifts him into a suplex. He tries to hold it, but William's knee wobbles, causing him to release Johnson. Johnson tries for a dropkick but LaCroix swats him away."
Brad Blood: "LaCroix working through the pain. Full nelson slam from LaCroix. LaCroix pulls Johnson back up and locks in a cobra clutch."
Jim Jackson: "The ref is asking Grey Skull if he'd like to tap, but he says no! LaCroix decides to transition into a Russian Legsweep. LaCroix forces Grey Skull back to his feet before hitting him with european uppercut after european uppercut. Grey Skull falls into the turnbuckles from the onslaught. LaCroix doesn't relent though, he keeps up with the uppercuts until the referee pulls him away."
Brad Blood: "LaCroix moves back in though. Pushing Johnson's chest into the turnbuckle, LaCroix gives him a hard forearm to the lower back. LaCroix begins pulling Johnson out towards him before hitting him with hard forearms to send him back into the turnbuckle."
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three! Four..."
Jim Jackson: "LaCroix disengages for a moment before lifting Johnson onto the turnbuckle. LaCroix climbs onto the turnbuckle as well, looking for a back suplex, but Johnson fires back with elbows to LaCroix's head. LaCroix, dazed, backs off the turnbuckle and creates space, only to be caught by a flying knee! Johnson into the cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "LaCroix pushes Johnson off of his shoulders at two! Johnson again goes to the turnbuckles..."
Jim Jackson: "Wait! The Masked Man has just hopped onto the apron and has grabbed Johnson's leg while the referee is tending to LaCroix! Johnson manages to push The Masked Man off of him and the apron! Johnson looks into the ring to see LaCroix getting to his feet and leaps!"
Brad Blood: "BICYCLE KICK FROM LACROIX! He just countered what looked to be a double axe handle with the Riot Run! That took a lot out of LaCroix, but at least he's conscious and going for the cover!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, William LaCroix!"
Jim Jackson: "Grey Skull might have won if The Masked Man hadn't interfered."
Brad Blood: "Don't start that. William would have won either way, look at how huge he is compared to Johnson."
Jim Jackson: "Whatever you say Bra....The Masked Man has just climbed into the ring! He's grabbing John Johnson....Huntmaster Powerbomb!"
Brad Blood: "Wuahahahaha! The Masked Man does it again! How many times is he going to make an example out of Johnson? Oh, it looks like we have our answer; there's a second Huntmaster Powerbomb!"
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Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/22/2011 Sun May 22, 2011 11:56 am
A loud shuffling is heard in the backstage area. Items are being thrown across the camera's view. The camera turns to the origin of the objects, settling on Zombie slamming things around and looking in every room he passes. He walks down the corridor and past the Woodchipper that shredded his precious Ultimo Primo Title. As he passes it suddenly turns on. Zombie looks back at the Shredder angrily. Yelling he slams the off button. As Zombie walks away the Shredder suddenly comes on again. Zombie turns around confused. He stares angrily at the Shredder again before sighing and walking off. Suddenly a voice behind him sounds as the shredder turns off.
Chriso: "What's the rush Zombie?..........."
Zombie spins around to see Chriso standing next to the shredder smiling.
Chriso: "You seem upset?.......... Have you lost something?............" Zombie glares angrily at Chriso becoming more and more frustrated.
Chriso: "I guess now you no longer possess the Ultimo Primo Title.......... You are no longer busy defending it.......... Which means you're Judgement Day is at hand........... Soon you're rage will get the best of you.......... And you will want to tear every bone from my body............ And when you're rage takes over............ I will be ready!!!..........."Champ"
Chriso smiles back at Zombie who remains his fixed piercing stare.
Zombie stares at Chriso with anger burning in his eyes. His top lip trembles and he takes a step closer to Chriso.
Zombie: "Just because a powerless little bastard ran off with my belt and shoved it into a shredder does not mean that I am no longer champion! I do not make mistakes through my rage! My rage alone would destroy you! But it is not directed at you ... for now!! But stand in my way again and I will not hesitate to put an abrupt end to your existence once ... and for all!!"
He storms off leaving Chriso who is still smiling. The cameraman quickly rushes off after Zombie who heads towards the General Manager's office.
COMING SOON!!! UNITED LEAGUE OF LUNATICS ON THE ROAD!!!
THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS! STARTING NEXT MONTH YOUR FAVORITE ULOL STARS SHALL BE COMING TO YOU!
WATCH OUT FOR THEM AS UNITED LEAGUE OF LUNATICS HITS THE ROAD IN THE MADNESS IN THE STREETS TOUR!
Featuring: Allister King, Bo Hetfield, Leon Hinomoto, Musashi Kuruma, Ray Kamaura, Shadow Callahan, Shogun, Taufik, The Morbidly Obese Man, The Masked Man, Tonelada, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson, William LaCroix, Yuki Monotomo, Zombie, AJ, Alexander Conway, Arnold "GoodFella" Bold, Boy Bakla, Christopher Bain, Felix Schwarz, John "Grey Skull" Johnson, Lady Bianca de Sade, Little Wang, Lucian Blackheart, Nao Fook Mi, Raven Connoly, Samantha Collins, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing, The British Hawk, Summer Bold and Manolo Ferrer.
CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS TO SEE IF ULOL WILL BE KNOCKING AT YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD!
The scene continues with a shot of a floor and the brief glimpses of the cameramans feet as the cameraman quickly chases a wrestler through backstage. A door opens around the corner and the cameraman finally manages to catch up. Zombie stands in front of Allister King's desk. Clearly seething with rage he plants his hands heavily on the General Manager's desk. He looks to Allister King and then to Samantha Collins with anger still burning in his eyes.
Zombie: "I hope that you plan on doing something about that cowardly little prick who stole the Primo Ultimo title and destroyed it! ULOL property! The most highly sought after championship in ULOL!"
He takes his hands off the desk and stands up straight.
Zombie: "I know we probably don't see things eye to eye! But even you must agree that something must be done about such actions!"
Allister leans back on his chair and puts his feet on the desk
Allister King: "Let me get this right, Q threw the title into a wood chipper. So he destroyed property that didn't even belong to him. I mean if he was the champ it would be different."
Allister looks at Samantha
Allister King: "Sami, what do you think we should do?"
Samantha looks at Allister
Samantha Collins: "We should just make him pay for a new title plus an extra fine. That title cost a lot of money and it will be a bit shot to the company budget to replace it."
Allister nods and then clicks his fingers I got it
Allister King: "I got it! I will be back in a few seconds."
Allister gets up and runs away leaving zombie and Sami looking confused. Allister returns about 1 minute later.
Allister King: "Unfortunately this will have to do until we can replace it."
Allister hands zombie a belt shaped piece of cardboard with Primo Ultimo Championship written on it
Allister King: "At least it's better than nothing."
Allister sets the title on the desk and sits back down and puts his feet up
Zombie looks down at the "new" cardboard Primo Ultimo title in despair. He looks to Allister King and licks his lips. He picks up the title and puts it around his waist. It manages to stay in place and once again Zombie looks to King who looks at his handiwork with pride.
Zombie: "You know he won't pay for it. He'll most likely come up with a new title and claim HIMSELF champion. The man is a nuisance to this company and deserves a more serious punishment than just a petty little fine and a slap around the wrist!"
He turns around and heads towards the door to exit. Before leaving he turns around to address Allister King and his wife once more.
Zombie: "And just to let you know ... once I get my hands on Q. You will not be seeing him again anytime soon."
Zombie does not grin or chuckle. This time he means it. Zombie nods at King and leaves closing the door behind him.
Allister turns around to Sami and smiles
Allister King: "Da Vinci has nothing on me."
The Camera fades to black
A muffled voice is heard by the camera as it moves through the halls of the ULOL. The camera seems to follow the voice, as it gets progressively louder as the camera moves until the camera finally reaches the source; an open door. The camera looks into the opened door to see Christopher Bain sitting on a bench while putting on his wrestling gear.
Christopher Bain: "I didn't win the battle royale, so what? It doesn't change the fact that I am still a great wrestler and an even greater athlete, does it?"
No one is in the room with Bain, but he looks up at an empty chair, as if someone were sitting across from him.
Christopher Bain: "No, no, no. It's just self-confidence, that's all! I need to be more self-confident, that's my problem! I always doubt myself in that ring, that is what is costing me. My matches used to always stand out, don't you think?"
Again, Bain looks to the chair and looks as if he is listening to someone else give their opinion. Finally, he nods.
Christopher Bain: "That's true, my matches have been lackluster these days, but that doesn't mean my career isn't on a turnaround."
Bain is silent for a few moments, before looking up with a look of exasperation on his face.
Christopher Bain: "Then tell me what it is I have to do to get better! What am I doing wrong?"
Bain jumps off of the bench, waiting for an answer as he stares through the chair. Dissatisfied, he looks away from the chair, and his eyes fall upon his mirror by chance. Bain walks over to it, eyes locked onto his reflection. With a sudden movement, his hand flies up to point at his own reflection.
Christopher Bain: "It's your fault. If you would stop trying to be such a nice guy, things would be different. Oh sure, be friendly outside of the ring, shake hands and kiss babies. Whatever. But once that bell rings, you need to not worry about whether or not the fans will react to your next move. You need to stop worrying about the possibility of injuring your opponent, and then throwing girly moves at them to prevent said injury from occuring. You need to focus on winning again. Let the match dictate your actions, nothing else. Christopher, you didn't thrill audiences by thinking about other things so much, you've thrilled audiences by giving your best efforts to win."
Bain turns and walks out of the camera's view.
Christopher Bain: "Follow your instincts and use what brought you to the dance, kid. Remember this, and you'll go far."
After a few moments, Bain walks back into the camera's view and sits down onto the bench again. He finishes taping one of his wrists before beginning to tape the other one. After a few wraps, he begins to speak again.
Christopher Bain: "He's right, I have all of the tools I need in order to win. I'm glad those two have left though, after all, oneself is the best company; especially when I'm preparing for possibly the biggest match of mine here in the ULOL to date."
Christopher begins humming a tune as the scene fades.
VS
Jim Jackson: "Well we have a great match tonight between two veterans of the business, Chriso who is known for his work outside ULOL and Tonelada, who started his wrestling career in ULOL before taking a short leave and returning again to the place he called home."
Brad Blood: "Well you know who I'm rooting for on this match... Tonelada is the coolest dude in the locker rooms, just the other day he even gave me some weed... Er, I mean some stuff..."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Chriso!"
Tubular Hell Music is heard from the speakers... Smoke comes down the ramp with lights dimmed... Chriso suddenly appears and stands on turnbuckle closest to ramp as flame explode from ramp behind...
Jim Jackson: "Chriso emits this mysterious aura, and even Zombie seemed shaken when Chriso first appeared here in ULOL."
Brad Blood: "His eyes are creepy... Seriously... It's like he can see you masturbate or something..."
Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for tonight, Tonelada!"
Sisquo's "Thong Song" blasts through the arena speakers as highlights of some of Tonelada's most daring police escapes are show on the titan tron. Tonelada then appears from backstage scratching his posterior. He then poses like an idiot putting his left hand between his shoulder blades and the other inside his pants. He then walks like an idiot to the ring. As he does so, live ostriches are pushed off the titan tron on to the merciless floor. Animal rights' activists start booing and pelting Tonelada with all sorts of food products. Tonelada, undeterred by the reaction, continues to the ring. He positions himself in the middle of the ring then once again poses like an idiot. Then, pornographic magazines shoot from the ring posts as pot float down from above. The crowd start to settle down as they grab the paraphernalia provided by Tonelada. The arena is then covered by smoke as moaning and sudden bursts of laughter is heard.
Jim Jackson: "Tonelada seems like an exact opposite of Chriso, a happy go lucky wrestler who is a contrast to Chriso's dark moods."
Brad Blood: "Plus he's giving out free porn... PORN JIM PORN!!!"
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Tonelada and Chriso circle each other checking each other out... They engage each other and lock grips engaging in a test of strength!"
Brad Blood: "Looks pretty even at this point... Oh wait! Ton-man is starting to get the upper hand... No! Chriso is pushing back and now Chriso has the upper hand... Wait! Now it's Tonelada again... Chriso! Tonelada! Chriso! Tonelada! Chri... Chriso just kicked Tonelada in the nads!"
Jim Jackson: "The referee is giving Chriso a warning. Chriso goes for Tonelada... Irish whip to the ropes... Chriso intercepts Tonelada with a belly to belly suplex! Chriso hits a couple of stomps before picking Tonelada up... Bodyslam! Chriso hooks the leg."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Ton-man kicks out at two! Chriso pulls Tonelada up, he's setting up for a facebuster... No! Ton-man counters it into a back body drop! Chriso lands hard on the canvas."
Jim Jackson: "Chriso rolls back up soaking the damage, arm drag by Tonelada takes Chriso down! Tonelada tries to lock in an armbar... Chriso makes it to the ropes getting a rope break! Tonelada picks Chriso up... Irish whip to the ropes... Clothesline by Tonelada!"
Brad Blood: "WHOA! NO EFFECT CHRISO IS STILL STANDING! Tonelada runs to the ropes and bounces back... Another clothesline... CHRISO SOAKS THE DAMAGE AND IS STILL STANDING!!! Tonelada goes for number three... NO! CHRISO INTERCEPTS HIM WITH A BIG BOOT! TON-MAN EATS LEATHER!"
Jim Jackson: "Chriso picks Tonelada up, side walk slam! Tonelada tries to fight his way back to his feet but Chriso stuns him with an uppercut! Irish whip by Chriso, Chriso with a clothesline. Tonelada ducks! Tonelada bounces back on the opposite rope, Chriso bends down for a back body drop..."
Brad Blood: "Ton-man puts on the breaks kicks Chriso on the face and grabs Chriso's head hitting a spinning neck breaker! Haha! Ton-man hooks the leg."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Only a two count as Chriso kicks out and fights his way back to his feet. Tonelada lunges for Chriso leg, double leg take-down! Tonelada flips Chriso over and tries to apply a Boston crab!"
Brad Blood: "Chriso tries to reach for the ropes, Ton-man drags Chriso back to the middle of the ring! Chriso screams in pain as Ton-man applies more pressure... Wait! Chriso using brute strength is making his way back to the ropes... And he gets it! A rope break!"
Jim Jackson: "Tonelada lets go and goes to the top of the ring post. He leaps... Flying legdrop to the back of Chriso's head connects! Tonelada scores big with that one. Tonelada for the cover..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Chriso gets a shoulder up at two! Tonelada thought he had it there. Tonelada picks up Chriso... He sends Chriso to the ropes with an Irish whip... Tonelada runs towards Chriso... Shoulder block..."
Jim Jackson: "Chriso no sells it! Tonelada looks shock as Chriso is still standing on his feet! Chriso starts throwing some hard punches pushing Tonelada back. A big European uppercut stuns Tonelada! Chriso grabs Tonelada by the throat... Chokeslam! "
Brad Blood: "Whoa! That shook the ring... Chriso goes for the cover! Ton-man is not moving at all..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."
Jim Jackson: "A shoulder up at the last possible millisecond! Chriso looks surprised! That still doesn't stop Chriso from throwing a couple of shots to Tonelada's head before picking him up... Chriso sets Tonelada up... Piledriver! Chriso again goes for the cover..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."
Brad Blood: "Another near fall! Ton-man is still hanging in there. Chriso picks Ton-man up and and sets him up for a powerbomb... Ton-man throws a few punches downward to Chriso's head! Ton-man leaps down from Chriso's shoulder and bounces on the ropes gaining momentum..."
Jim Jackson: "Right into a tilt-a-whirl slam by Chriso! Chriso picks Tonelada up and kicks him in the guts... He's going for a stungun... No! Tonelada pushes free Chriso hits the ropes chest first and bounces back... Atomic drop by Tonelada!"
Brad Blood: "Chriso dances around the ring clutching his bottom! Ton-man goes on the offensive... He bounces on the ropes... SPEAR!!! Chriso is down! Ton-man hooks the legs..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Kick out by Chriso! Tonelada picks Chriso up... Chriso throws a wild right from out of nowhere! Tonelada gets rocked! Chriso with a powerbomb lift onto the shoulders before flipping the legs out in front so opponent is piledrived face first into the mat! HE HITS THE CHRISONATOR!!! Chriso with the cover..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, Chriso!"
Brad Blood: "No! The peeping pervert wins!"
Jim Jackson: "A strong showing by both competitors yet tonight, Chriso comes out on top. Chriso makes his way out of the ring... Walks up the ramp... Wait! IT'S ZOMBIE! Zombie just charged in and knocks Chriso off the top of the ramp! Chriso lands in the equipment below! Zombie laughs out loud and exits to the back leaving Chriso unmoving as EMTs rush in to the scene."
The Morbidly Obese Man Admin
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Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/22/2011 Sun May 22, 2011 11:57 am
The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura and Leon walk slowly to the start of the ramp. Following behind is Yuki Monotomo. All three superstars stop and the lights turn back on after lightning strikes behind them. The lasers continue as Ray and Leon slowly enter the ring. Yuki poses for the fans then runs to the apron. They go to different ring posts and climb them, then strike a pose. Yuki slides in the ring and humps the air in the direction of the female fans. They all have mics but Ray starts things off.
Ray Kamaura: "Well, Once again I find Myself and the rest of the DWMA out here in this ring. Out in front of all the fans and the rest of the world. The DWMA has no need to hide in the back because we are men and we like to face our problems head on. So instead of staying in our locker rooms we decide to come out here. It just so happens that we have ourselves a little bit of a fight on our hands tonight. Four teams will compete for 3 open spaces in the match at the PPV."
The crowd decide to start cheering and Ray had no choice but wait for them to settle down.
Ray Kamaura: "The Getter team, The Satanists, and The Oriental Spices along with the DWMA will all have to try and gain a pin fall. The first three teams that do move on to face the Muppets at the PPV."
Ray lowers his mic as Leon has something to say.
Leon takes a few steps forward.
Leon Hinomoto: "Let's take a look at the tron."
The clips start to play.
Jim Jackson: "The referee sees Taufik hurtling towards him and ducks just in the nick of time! TAUFIK CRASHES INTO MANOLO FERRER! FERRER FALLS OFF THE RING APRON AND DOWN TO THE GROUND!"
Brad Blood: "Alexander Conway hits a rolling kick on GoodFella. Conway tries to finish GoodFella off but GoodFella slips away! Tag between Arnold "GoodFella" Bold and Felix Schwarz."
Jim Jackson: "Felix Schwarz hits some punches. Conway slips out the back of a Felix Schwarz bodyslam. Atomic drop by Conway followed by a backbreaker! Schwarz can barely stand! Alexander Conway forces Felix Schwarz to the ground, catches Felix Schwarz's left arm in a leg scissor and then locks his hands over Felix Schwarz's face, pulling Felix Schwarz's head backwards executing The Prophecy!"
Brad Blood: "Schwarz is trapped with nowhere to go! GoodFella jumps in for the save... NO! HE GETS TAKEN OUT BY A SPEAR BY HINOMOTO! Schwarz is in trouble! SCHWARZ TAPS!!! HE TAPS OUT!!!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via submission, Alexander Conway, Leon Hinomoto and Ray Kamaura, The DWMA!"
Leon Hinomoto: "It seems to me like the DWMA is one of two teams with wins over the Age of Pain. The point is that we have beaten the best and have real experience in the tag team division. The Oriental Spices and The Age of Pain are the only teams that have more experience than us. We have won and we have lost but before we came into the picture the Tag division was a joke with only 3 teams. Now there are 8 teams. We will never back down and we will never quit until we have some gold to some for it."
The giant videoscreen broadcasting the DWMA in the ring suddenly goes dark. The superstars in the ring carry on at first; it isn't unusual for an occasional glitch to happen.
Then a video begins to play. It's a slow-mo of the DWMA, walking down to the ring, accompanied by a narrator's voiceover.
Announcer: "Would you like to have the DWMA as part of your wrestling library? Now, you can."
DWMA: The Limited Edition DVD
It will include the DWMA's most memorable matches:
HanuChrisKwanbo:
Jim Jackson: "Kamaura leaps this could be it! NOOO!!! Shogun gets his knees up and Kamaura crashes gut first into Shogun's knees! Shogun quickly gets up while Kamaura is down. Shogun stands over Ray Kamaura who is lying on the mat face up and grasps his leg, Shogun then does a spinning toe hold and grasps the other leg, crossing them into a four locking in the Demonic Reckoning! Kamaura is trying to reach for the ropes. He is just inches from the ropes... KAMAURA TAPS!"
Here's Your H.E.R.P.E.S.
Brad Blood: "Will we see a new champ here tonight? Wait! Shogun somehow makes it to the bottom rope! Rope break!"
Jim Jackson: "Wait who's that running down to the ring? Ray Kamaura comes running down the aisle with a chair! It seems that Conway and Kamaura have put aside their differences aside and are now allies!"
Brad Blood: "Conway goes to Irish whip Shogun into the ropes. Kamaura jumps onto the apron with the chair...but Shogun reverses! Collision between Kamaura, Conway, and the chair! Alexander Conway falls to the canvas."
Jim Jackson: "Dropkick from the champ sends Kamaura down! Shogun stands over Alexander Conway who is lying on the mat face up and grasps his leg, Shogun then does a spinning toe hold and grasps the other leg, crossing them into a four locking in the Demonic Reckoning! This time Shogun has HIS finisher locked in. Conway has nowhere to go! Conway taps! Conway taps!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and STILL your ULOL Primo Ultimo Champion, Shogun!"
Donde Esta El Banyo!?
Jim Jackson: "GoodFella & Schwarz sends Leon Hinomoto to the ropes with a double Irish whip, they charge in and hit a double clothesline from hell executing a Drive By Shooting! Hinomoto is down! Schwarz for the pin... GoodFella hits a dropkick on Kamaura sending him falling from the ring apron!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and STILL ULOL Campeónes Compañero champions, Arnold "GoodFella" Bold and Felix Schwarz, GoodFella & Schwarz!"
Me Cago En La Leche
Jim Jackson: "Arnold "GoodFella" Bold and Felix Schwarz sends Ray Kamaura to the ropes and charges in hitting a double clothesline from hell executing a drive-by shooting. Schwarz quickly hits a drop kick on Leon Hinomoto on the corner sending him crashing down. Yuki Monotomo jumps to the ring apron. Schwarz hits a dropkick sending him crashing into Leon Hinomoto! GoodFella for the pin... He has his feet on the second rope for more leverage! The ref does not see it!"
Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and STILL ULOL Campeónes Compañero, GoodFella & Schwarz!"
Campeónes Compañero qualifying match
Brad Blood: "Ray Kamaura's grabbing Hayato's leg, trying to slow him down! And that gives Leon an opening!"
Jim Jackson: "Hinomoto takes advantage to clip Hayato with a vicious lunging forearm! But Ryoma throws himself at Hinomoto!"
Don Q. Hotte: "Nine! Ten! Ring the bell!"
Brad Blood: "And this match is over!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, neither team was able to return to the ring before the 10 count. Therefore, the referee is ruling this match a no contest!"
Jim Jackson: "That means we don't have a number one contender to challenge the Age of Pain! The DWMA can't believe they just lost their chance to qualify!"
It will include the DWMA's most memorable promos, tracking their growth. From potential legends:
Ray Kamaura: Fight with your heart, and you're Destined For Glory
But fight without honor, and you're destined to fall
Fight with your heart, and you're Destined For Glory
But fight without soul and you will loose it all"
...to patsies.
Ray Kamaura: "But all joking aside, It's still raining. So we will keep fighting until we reach our goal of winning and taking the gold away for the Age of Pain. This is no longer just some feud. No more bashing them while they try and cut a crappy promo. We are going to let our actions speak. So We are issuing an open challenge for any tag team that thinks they can take us on. Hell you don't even have to be a tag team, just two people. It's go time.
Don Q. Hotte: "Nine! Ten! Ring the bell!"
Brad Blood: "And this match is over!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, neither team was able to return to the ring before the 10 count. Therefore, the referee is ruling this match a no contest!"
Jim Jackson: "That means we don't have a number one contender to challenge the Age of Pain! The DWMA can't believe they just lost their chance to qualify!"
Ray Kamaura: "Another thing I would like to address. What happened to the Spices? I mean come on. The DWMA goes out every week and preforms for you fans and we never miss a beat. But all of a sudden we had to face two new superstars? What kind of crap is that."
Leon Hinomoto: "Now our message to the Age of Pain. We are going to rain down a force of unimaginable terror. The bell tolls on your last week as the champions. The time comes for the both of you to fall on your knee's before our great power. The DWMA is a juggernaut that cannot be stopped.
Don Q. Hotte: "Nine! Ten! Ring the bell!"
Brad Blood: "And this match is over!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, neither team was able to return to the ring before the 10 count. Therefore, the referee is ruling this match a no contest!"
Jim Jackson: "That means we don't have a number one contender to challenge the Age of Pain! The DWMA can't believe they just lost their chance to qualify!"
Ray: Why don't you grow some balls and walk out here and face us like a man. Or you can wait untill we have our hands full and take some shots with your singapore cane. See Taufik unlike you and the rest of the scumbags that are in fact known as the Age of Pain, we like to face our foes like men. So go to Manolo, take your balls back, hand him your singapore dildo and walk out here like a man.
The crowd cheers for Ray and beans to chant "NO BALLS"
Manolo Ferrer: "You two failed that match on your own."
Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Did I hear you right? You say you have a shot in three way? Well I say that No contest means you two buffoons get back in the line and wait for shot until we will allow you have one. Because right now you have wasted more than 4 given title shot opportunities."
Taufik: "You're damn right Arnold. You guys keep on saying that you are championship material and look what happen. Last week you can't even hold off the two newcomers and even when all three of you... And Yes, I'm talking about you as well Yuki, can't even do a beat down on me when there's three of you guys at one go."
Ray Kamaura: "Now that is enough of this. Once again Manolo Ferrer cuts in and steals the spot light. Yuki was right. These two came down here like men while you sit behind the desk and use the tron to talk trash to us. Now if you will excuse us we will be leaving."
Ray again begins to walk out of the arena.
Manolo Ferrer: "NO BALLS! NO BALLS! NO BALLS! NO BALLS!"
Leon Hinomoto: "We aren't running, just leaving."
The DWMA walks out of the arena
Manolo Ferrer: "NO BALLS! NO BALLS! NO BALLS! NO BALLS!"
Announcer: "This DVD of the Dopes Who Make Assumptions is available for a limited time only. So the whole world will remember the truth about them, without having someone show up at their house to tell them so. This DVD is limited to one per household. Offer void where prohibited. Not microwave or dishwasher safe."
The video ends, and the giant video screen returns to showing the DWMA in the ring.
A MANOLO FERRER PRODUCTION appears on the giant videoscreen. A bombastic orchestral arrangement by Danny Elfman begins to play, as various shots of a well-coifed man flash on the screen. We see he is always leading various wrestlers down to the ring, raising their hand in victory after the match, and carry their championship belts for them.
A spotlight suddenly shines on the man himself as he finally emerges, with a mic in hand.
Manolo Ferrer: "I originally didn't plan to come out here. But Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz have something urgent they need to do. So."
He scratches the corner of his mouth, before continuing to speak to the DWMA.
Manolo Ferrer: "I think I get your reason why you keep talking about the Campeones Companero, as if you're actually going to be the next in line for the titles. You actually expect to be the Champions. You yourselves kept talking about dethroning the Age of Pain, before you even had your contenders' match a few weeks ago. In your mind, whoever you faced in your last contenders' match was just there as a formality on your supposedly inevitable crowning as the Campeones Companero. Except you failed to win that match."
Mr. Ferrer is completely blunt in his explanation.
Manolo Ferrer: "After you failed to win that match, what did you do? You went 'Oh never mind. Please put us in a triangle contenders' match.' You were still expecting that it's inevitable you're going to be the next Campeones Companero. So of course you get booked into a four-way contenders' match, with rules that give you three chances to not mess it up. Unlike you, I'm not going to even suggest you did any sexual favors for the people who booked this. I think they just got tired of you whining to them to put you in a contenders' match. But if you flunk this one, gentlemen, what then? Are you going to propose next week that you get into another contenders' match?"
Mr. Ferrer gives an exaggerated shrug.
Manolo Ferrer: "The way you keep saying things, most of ULOL is worthless. In your eyes, the Correa Grande del Oro de Whoever is worthless. The Ligero Maximo is worthless to you. According to you, the tag division was a joke without you. Can someone play that DVD commercial again?"
The DWMA DVD video runs on the giant videowall again, once again replaying all of the DWMA's championship match losses.
Manolo Ferrer: "In your defense, you say you managed to score a win over my clients. That was when you had Mr. Conway. After he became my client, it's pretty clear you've become the Cleveland Cavaliers of wrestling, after LeBron left."
A small smirk briefly crosses Mr. Ferrer's face.
Manolo Ferrer: "You go and trash this title or that ULOL title as worthless. But when those Champions respond, you choke and hide. Mr. Blackheart called you out on what you said about the Ligero Maximo, and you took it like bitches. Mr. Q flat out told the whole world you're retards, and to this day you have done nothing. And don't think they won't come looking for you if you decide to have a go at them."
The manager of the Age of Pain pauses for a moment.
Manolo Ferrer: "In our last confrontation, my clients and I dismantled your whole argument. What was your response? 'We aren't running. Just leaving.'"
Manolo Ferrer momentarily slinks about, pretending to be Ray Kamaura hastily trying to escape.
Manolo Ferrer: "Here's something for you Dopes Who Make Assumptions to think about before your match. My clients and I don't care if you qualify or not. We have proven our point about you these past several weeks, especially last week when you hastily ran away from what we had to say. We're going to keep proving our point about you, because we're really that much better than you. I'm just stating the obvious. I don't need to make up anything about your deficiencies."
Mr. Ferrer lowers the mic, only to quickly raise it back up as he remembers to add something.
Manolo Ferrer: "And if you think threatening me with a beatdown is going to change anything about you, it won't. It will not change the fact that Mr. Hinomoto keeps making promises of greatness that he can't live up to. It will not change the fact that Mr. Monotomo is looking for the fans to cheer for him and be their hero, because he killed his best friend. And it will not change the fact that Mr. Kamaura is a retard."
Ray raises his mic
Ray Kamaura: "Manolo, buddy, you are living in the past. It's high time you understand that your reign of terror is ending. However I do have to give you credit. You finally pulled you hands out of the Age of Pain's asses and walked your lazy ass out here like the man you claim to be.. But All those past failures all mean nothing. Eventually you and your sex slaves will lose everything you got. It's only a matter of time. So how about you turn your ass around, walk back to the Muppets locker room, put on some Barry white, and stick your hands back up your "Clients" Asses and tell them that The DWMA is gonna win their match tonight and next week beat the living hell out of them at one of the biggest PPV the ULOL has ever had. The Age of Pain has run out of lives and it game over for them and their puppet master."
Ray throws the mic up the ramp as the crowd starts cheering.
A smile grows on Leon's face.
Leon Hinomoto: "With the royalties from our new DVD I can by another solid gold Hummer/Limo."
Leon drops his mic. Leon and Ray proceed to exit the ring. Yuki stays behind as he is has issue to address. Leon yells at Manolo.[
Leon Hinomoto: "Now you can move your ass or we can move it for you. But either way are leave so Yuki can have his time without your petty interruptions."
Leon and Ray walk past Manolo and exit the arena.
Yuki Monotomo brings the mic to his mouth and begins talking.
Yuki Monotomo: "Hey Manolo! Guess what?! I hated that guy! And you're not the only one who can use the video screen. Here's something I wanted to show the audience from Tuesday."
The room is shown with Yuki Monotmo, a man, and a woman inside of it. The man is well dressed in a tuxedo with a tie to match the woman's blue dress. They both have black hair and are of asian decent. The room is brightly lit and Yuki begins his interview.
Yuki Montomo: "So Manolo got me thinking I should talk to you about Ragki. I actually am sorry. I've never used that move on anyone after that. I am sorry I killed you son."
Mr. Nikara: "Killed him? No! You just crushed his throat."!
Yuki Monotomo: "I what now?"
Mrs. Nikara: "Yes, he's alive, your friends called the ambulance."
Yuki Monotomo: "Why didn't anyone tell me?!"
Mr. Nikara: "You ran off and we couldn't find you!"
Mrs. Nikara: "And we're asking you to pay for his medical, if you're truly sorry."
Yuki Monotomo: "How much is it? It's come to my attention that thanks to Mr. Ferrer I will be receiving a large amount of money.".
Yuki takes drink of water and waits for the reply.
Mr. Nikara: "$800,000. And we're rounding down."
Yuki almost falls off of his chair as he spits the water out of his mouth.
Yuki Monotomo: "I'm not sure if I'll be making that much!"
A figure in a black cloak appears in the corner of the screen. The figure brings up a steel chair and slams it into Yuki's sided. Yuki falls off the chair and it then kicks Yuki.
Figure: "I never tapped out. Bitch."
Mrs. Nikara: "Let's leave Ragki."
Mr. Nikara: "Yes, son, let's go."
Yuki speaks while coughing and trying to catch his breath. He hands Ragki a card.
Yuki Monotomo: "Call if you're interested in The DWMA."
Ragki kicks Yuki again and replies to the offer.
Ragki: "I'll think about it."
The clip ends and Yuki is standing in the ring across from Manolo.
Yuki Monotomo: "So they can cheer for a scared 17-year-old and not a murderer. Also why did you cut out the fact that the crowd chanted "No balls" to you right before that clip of us leaving ended? Is it in the director's cut? Or special features?"
Mr. Ferrer watches impassively the DWMA's reactions. A half-frown crosses his face as he watches Yuki Monotomo's latest video revelation.
Manolo Ferrer: "Pulling things out of your ass, Mr. Monotomo? I'm surprised it took you all these years to finally face the consequences. Like a man."
He then walks down towards ringside, focusing on the much-taller Monotomo. He looks over his shoulder for a moment.
Manolo Ferrer: "If you want to keep harping about people on who they are chanting 'No balls' to, Mr. Monotomo, they can start chanting it to you and your friends. Look how both Mr. Leon Hinomoto and Mr. Ray Kamaura walked by me on their return to the locker room, without so much as laying a hand on me. Especially since I came out here alone. They still haven't answered my question as to whether it's less embarrassing for them to turn tail and run away from me when I'm face to face with them."
Mr. Ferrer goes on, his tone even throughout what he has to say.
Manolo Ferrer: "As for you, I guess it's nice to see that you finally tried to make amends, Mr. Monotomo. It still doesn't change one thing."
Mr. Ferrer drags it out for a moment, before continuing.
Manolo Ferrer: "When you arrived here, you wanted people to cheer for you, even though you killed somebody. I guess this new video could save you from the gas chamber, but that does not change the fact that, until this video you pulled out, you still wanted to become a big wrestling superstar, having all these people cheering for you. In spite of the fact that you killed somebody in cold blood. Maybe this update on your friend shows you're no longer a scared 17-year-old murderer, but you're certainly a scared 17-year-old asshole who tried to get away with murder for all these years. Until I pointed it out, you didn't even cared that you strangled your friend to death. You just wanted to be the rich and famous ladies' man, and you wanted these fans to not remember that you were hiding for murder for all these years."
The manager of the Age of Pain quickly adds.
Manolo Ferrer: "And before you say anything, you were prepared to work your way up to make your wrestling dreams come true, so long as no one asked too many questions about what you did to your friend. The friend you hated so much, you tried to kill him. Your friend not being dead means now that you can continue your dreams of being that big-time wrestling superstar, while the friend you tried to kill stays maimed for life. You must be so happy you don't have to deal with him anymore."
Mr. Ferrer starts walking back, throwing out a question to the audience.
Manolo Ferrer: "Is that man in the ring the kind you want your children to take pictures with and idolize?"
He stops at the top of the stage, then casually throws a final remark at Yuki Monotomo.
Manolo Ferrer: "I hope Mr. Taufik cripples you when you have your match with him. In the meantime, ladies and gentlemen, I leave you with Mr. Yuki Monotomo, who has had no balls since he was 17."
Then Mr. Ferrer leaves.
Yuki rolls his eyes at Mr. Ferrer's comments.
Yuki Monotomo: "I never said I wasn't an asshole. It takes more balls not to punch you right in your face. Just because you could hide behind our actions and say something like..."
Yuki changes the pitch of his voice to a high whining sound to mock Manolo and overacts his words.
Yuki Monotomo: "Look, they're soo violent, they attacked me in cold blood. Only people without balls would attack a non-wrestler in cold blood. And now I have a random video clip that I'm going to show the audience that makes the Age of Pain seem good and the DWMA seem bad. They should be fired for hitting me. Boo hoo hoo!"
Yuki changes his voice back and stops overacting.
Yuki Monotomo: "If you were a man, you would actually wrestle. Anybody can talk shit but few can back it up. And to Taufik, get ready, cause I'm not holding back in our match tonight!"
While the DMWA are still in the ring, another video is played and this video is for Yuki.
After the video finished playing, the whole of DMWA were left confused.
Yuki asks himself, confused.
Yuki Monotomo: "Is this supposed to threaten me or is this a date? Because I don't swing that way."
As Christopher Bain is walking through the backstage, dressed in his wrestling gear, Bob Bobbie comes up and stops him.
Bob Bobbie: "Where are you going, Christopher?"
Christopher Bain: "To the ring, of course!"
With that, Bain takes a step past Bobbie and keeps walking, leaving a confused looking Bobbie behind for a short time. Bobbie is quick to catch back up to him.
Bob Bobbie: "But why? You aren't scheduled to compete tonight...."
Christopher is now the one that looks confused.
Christopher Bain: "What? What do you mean? I have a match tonight against Alexander Conway to determine the number one contender for the ULOL Ligero Maximo title. I have to defeat him here tonight to face the one guy and win the belt."
Bob Bobbie: "Alexander isn't competing tonight either, Bain. He's already won the number one contendership in the battle royale last week. In fact, Alexander didn't even bring any of his gear tonight."
Christopher Bain throws his finger into the air.
Christopher Bain: "Ah-ha! He's refused to compete! I understand now Bobbie! That's why I don't have a match tonight, I've already won via forfeit. It looks like the one guy's year long title reign will be in jeopardy come Sunday!"
Bob Bobbie: "Uh, Bain, it is Sun....oh, what's the point?"
Bobbie leaves a celebrating Bain to himself.
Several journalists mill about at the exit to the main lobby. They had already reported the news they had heard earlier, given by one of the ULOL's administration. The reporters had talked among themselves earlier about the ramifications of the announcement, but they quickly get to work once the man they are looking for comes out of the building.
He is none other than the heavy-hitting highspot of the wrestling ring. He is the man known all over the world only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.
Reporter: [We just heard you've been suspended by the ULOL for destroying that horrible symbol of Zombie's sins against us! What's your next move?]
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing answers his countrymen, who is clearly distressed over what has just happened. Mindful of the foreign media also present, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing answers in English.
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It is true! I have been told I will not be involved in the ULOL shows until my suspension is finished! I am sad to see that the only right thing that could have been done with that cursed belt would lead to this! And it must be cursed! For even the limp Johnson who stands in corners and does nothing else takes the side of a monster who will eat him like a twinkie!"
Reporter: [What's your next move?]
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I think my next move would be to leave! I have just returned from our humble homeland! To give to our countrymen the shredded remains of that nasty and vile Primo Ultimo champion's belt! It is but a small salve against the pain they feel every day because of that zombie! But! The General Manager has decided that what I did is worse than what Primo and Carlito have done to him! Because they are still going to have a match! Maybe I should have brought the woodchipper closer to the ring! So I could put that zombie through it before getting suspended! But! This is not the end! And that zombie knows it!"
Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing gets into his gold SUV. The journalists take a last round of pictures before he speeds off.
The arena lights turn purple and start to flicker. "Kill Everybody by SKRILLEX" blasts through the arena speakers as the arena fills with purple smoke. Purple and white spotlights scatter around the arena and then shines on and follow Lucian Blackheart as he makes his way to the ring posing and interacting with the fans.
Lucian Blackheart: "So.. As I had predicted, the lesser version of myself, played by Alexander Conway, came out. Not out of the closet... yet, but as the victor of the 10-man battle royal. With this, he has become the number one contender to my title, and officially numero uno on my threat list and my hit list."
Lucian smiles and waits for the audience to settle down before continuing.
Lucian Blackheart: "On another subject, I've made you all know that I'm not only a wrestler, but also a entertainer. With this I do certainly hope you will be entertained. First, please note I am not an exotic dancer, and please hold all applause till the end. Thank you."
Lucian throws away his top hat and tears off his Gucci suit revealing a do-rag, a plain singlet and track pants.
Lucian Blackheart: "Alexander Conway.. You don't wanna step to this, Coz I'll kick your fucking head in you Canadian bitch. Personally, I feel sorry for you since you've come this far, Because the things I'll do to you will put me behind bars. Throwing left hooks, I'll mess your face up so hard, Your teeth are already fucked enough as they are. Guess nobody told this guy I'm fucking ruthless, After you fight me bitch, I'll leave you toothless. Before I go, I'mma tell you something vital. You'll never lay your scummy hands on my title. I'm not a rapist, but I'll leaved you scarred, Just like I was Boy Bakla and you were Brostar.... Wait, what the fu."
With the sudden realization of what he just said, Lucian picks up his clothes and tries to make a quick exit, whilst also attempting to cover up the last two lines of his "freestyle rap". Lucian quickly heads for the stage exit to the backstage area.
Lucian Blackheart: "That was an example. I was saying that, I would yeah, like what thing did to thing on his spare yeah."
Lucian trips over some wires and crawls backstage.
Felix Schwarz is seen walking in the area of Malibu. Malibu consists of 34 km strip of prime Pacific coastline. The community is famous for its warm, sandy beaches, and for being the home of many Hollywood movie stars and others associated with the entertainment industry. Yes Arnold “GoodFella” Bold bought a house there recently. Felix stands near the gates of this huge villa which Arnold is so proud of. He enters and then he sees that Arnold, Summer and a lady that he doesn’t know yet are near the swimming pool.
Felix Schwarz: "Well as I can see you guys having a good time there while I was hiding in the shadows of this known city. Now I won’t complain because Summer can help me finish this thing I am into once and for all... Do you know what I mean hunny? You have a lot of connections, and you didn’t do anything to help me. Well, I am here to ask for your help arranging meeting with the director of FBI or Superintendent of Police departmen. You have the ability to do so don’t you Summer? Anyway I’m in the good mood right now despite the fact I’m somehow most wanted fugitive in the USA..."
Arnold looks at his sister and then at Felix.
Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "Hey man, I know that we didn’t do anything to help you but look at the bright side you're still a free man. I know you were following Summer's orders, even did plastic surgery to take that dirty cop's place. You sacrificed a lot and I get that."
Felix doesn’t seem to be very happy when he heard these words.
Felix Schwarz: "So what now? You want to leave me high and dry? You want to leave me alone in this mess? Don’t forget that I know a lot of things about you guys. I sacrificed everything that I had in my life to be a part of Bold Mafia family. And I am what? Just a soldier in your army. Well so what is your answer Summer?"
Summer Bold: "First of all, I know how you feel. You feel disrespected by us. However, you know what when Arnold left me alone for a wrestling career and my brother Dominic just became “vegetable” I thought that my world is slipping thought my fingers, but then I realized that I have a goal. To take place of Arnold and be in-charge of the Bold Family. I redeemed myself and now I am here with my brother and my apprentice. The same things will to happen to you when you will find your goal. As for your meeting?0 Sure I will arrange it. Come on relax and join here at the pool."
Felix becomes a bit happier and agrees to join them as scene ends.
The Morbidly Obese Man Admin
Posts : 2990 Join date : 2008-12-29 Age : 48
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Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/22/2011 Sun May 22, 2011 11:58 am
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VS
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen! The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, representing the Age of Pain and accompanied by the manager of champions, Manolo Ferrer, here is Taufik!"
"All that Remains" started playing as Mr. Ferrer leads Taufik out. Pyros started to come out as they make their way to the ring, with Taufik carrying his trusty Singapore Cane. When he reaches the ring, he raises his Singapore Cane as another set of pryos come out before he waits for his victim.
Jim Jackson: "This match is a microcosm of the blood feud going on between the Age of Pain and the DWMA."
Brad Blood: "If you believe Manolo Ferrer, DWMA stands for Douches Who Make Assumptions."
Jasmine Lee: "His opponent! Making his way to the ring, he represents the DWMA! He is Yuki Monotomo!"
Welcome to the Club Now by Manian plays for a dimly lighted stage. The lights begin to flash with the beat as Yuki Monotmo walks to the stage, taking time to flirt with the ladies. They shy away from him.
Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo was brutally attacked by Taufik, shortly after his partners Ray Kamaura and Leon Hinomoto failed to win their qualifying match to challenge for the Campeones Companero. While Hinomoto and Kamaura will be involved in a four-way contenders' match later tonight to determine who will face the Age of Pain, Yuki Monotomo here will be facing Taufik in one on one action."
Brad Blood: "Yuki's been doing a lot of preparation for this. But Taufik's very motivated for this match too. He and his colleagues in the Age of Pain have been very ticked at the DWMA. The problem is while the DWMA do their best to talk a good game, they haven't been able to translate it into actual results in the ring,"
Jim Jackson: "If you're talking about that qualifying match that turned into a no contest, they didn't expect another team to replace their scheduled opponents. You can't blame them for that."
Brad Blood: "Why not? Manolo Ferrer does."
The sound of someone putting on a headset is heard.
Manolo Ferrer: "Yes, Mr. Blood's right. You don't mind if I have a seat, do you?"
Brad Blood: "Welcome to the booth, Mr. Ferrer."
Jasmine Lee: "The official in charge of this match is Sully S. Calawag. And now...LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "There's the bell, and Monotomo immediately swarms Taufik! He's pounding away at Taufik with big strikes! Taufik firing back, but Monotomo simply has a longer reach than he does!"
Brad Blood: "And he's making sure Taufik knows it!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik is TOSSED across the ring! And Yuki grabs Taufik before he could bail out of the ring! Yanks him in unceremoniously over the top rope!"
Brad Blood: "Taufik just being tossed around like a rag doll."
Manolo Ferrer: "Not the best start for my client. But we already factored that in. Mr. Monotomo's draw since he was 17 was being very tall with a long reach. And being so brave that he was always on the run."
Jim Jackson: "Taufik manages to keep Yuki at bay with a few hard kicks to the knee. Monotomo grabs him, but Taufik fights his way out of it! Rakes Monotomo in the face to stagger his much bigger opponent!"
Brad Blood: "And a good follow-up with a sweep of the legs to take the big man off his feet!"
Manolo Ferrer: "Take the fight to him."
Jim Jackson: "Taufik goes to the ground, trying to keep Yuki Monotomo down! He's staying behind his opponent, trying to stay out of his reach as much as possible!"
Brad Blood: "Going for a rear naked choke. But Yuki's moving to keep from getting locked in a bad predicament."
Jim Jackson: "Monotomo grabs the ropes. Taufik forced to let go, but he claws at his opponent's eyes before he releases him! And now Taufik kicks away at the downed Monotomo!"
Brad Blood: "Taufik bringing the aggression to this match. He's going for a front facelock, trying to cut off the air to Yuki!"
Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo spent a good number of years trying to come to terms with what he did when he was younger. Manolo Ferrer, you and the Age of Pain have called him out on it several times."
Manolo Ferrer: "If you're in my place, Mr. Jackson, you'd do the same thing. Who is Mr. Monotomo to say that the Age of Pain are cowards? He's the one who's been living the life of a fugitive since he was 17. Mr. Monotomo thinks you should ignore all that, and cheer for him just because he wants to pick a fight with the Age of Pain."
Jim Jackson: "He went to apologize to the family of Ragki Nikara."
Manolo Ferrer: "Do you believe he would have done that if I hadn't brought it up these past few weeks? Mr. Monotomo is now even saying I'm 'hiding' behind his actions. What is that supposed to mean? I didn't travel back in time and tell him to try and kill Mr. Nikara. I didn't tell him to go in hiding all these years. That's all on him. I'm only calling it as I see it."
Brad Blood: "Monotomo's fighting his way out of the front facelock!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik tries to cinch it in even tighter, but Monotomo gets on both feet! He tosses Taufik away from him!"
Brad Blood: "Taufik came into this match with a strategy to nerf Yuki's size advantage. I thought he was doing all right, till now."
Jim Jackson: "Taufik quickly back to his feet, but Monotomo with a boot to the face to send him back to the mat! Taufik somehow scrambling to get back up! Only for Yuki Monotomo to grab him! And drill him to the canvas with an STO!"
Brad Blood: "And Taufik rolling out of the ring!"
Jim Jackson: "He's trying to, but Monotomo stops him! Monotomo grabs but Taufik snaps Yuki's throat across the top rope!"
Manolo Ferrer: "Quick thinking to use his position in the ring to his advantage."
Brad Blood: "Taufik grabs his Singapore cane!"
Jim Jackson: "The official blocking his way, warning Taufik he'll disqualify him! Taufik arguing with the official, but Yuki rolls out of the ring!"
Brad Blood: "The big guy prudently putting some space between himself and an irate Taufik with a big stick!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik chases after Monotomo! But Yuki manages to grab a chair! And he's threatening Manolo Ferrer with it!"
Brad Blood: "The action's too close for my taste!"
Jim Jackson: "Taufik catching up to Yuki! Yuki undecided whether to go after Ferrer or Taufik! TAUFIK SWINGS AT YUKI, BUT YUKI BLOCKS WITH THE CHAIR! YUKI TRIES TO SMASH TAUFIK DOWN, BUT TAUFIK BLOCKING WITH HIS SINGAPORE CANE!"
Brad Blood: "Cane vs Chair! And the ref's calling for the bell!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the official has disqualified both men for using foreign objects, and has declared this match a no contest!"
Jim Jackson: "Manolo Ferrer just TOSSES Brad's mug at Yuki Monotomo! And Taufik CRACKS his Singapore cane across the side of Monotomo's head!"
Brad Blood: "My mug! I! Here come the rest of the DWMA to give Yuki a hand! But Taufik daring them to come! Manolo's grabbing Yuki's chair!"
Jim Jackson: "We got ULOL officials rushing out to break it up! The DWMA and the Age of Pain daring each other to get closer!"
Brad Blood: "My mug!"
The doors to Allister King's office swings open and in strolls, Boy Bakla, ULOL's transsexual diva. Bakla makes it's way to Allister King's desks and stops right in front, slamming it's open palms on the desktop.
Boy Bakla: "Hookay, I'm pissed, in fact I'm more than pissed, I'm in bitch from hell mode right now. Did you see what Shadow Callahan did last week? He cost me my match! And after that, he still dared mar my perfect complexion! We have to do something about him..."
Bakla takes a deep breath as the implants on it's chest jiggles...
Boy Bakla: "I want payback Allie, I understand that The Anarchists have a match scheduled tonight... What if..."
A gleam is seen on Boy Bakla's eyes as it leans over and whispers it's plans to Allister King as the scene fades to black.
The camera follows Alexander as he knocks on a door before stepping in shortly thereafter. As the camera follows, it becomes apparent that they are in the office of Eunice P. Winslow, mainly because of the old lady sitting at her desk, but the name plate is a close second. Alexander steps up to her desk and looks her in the eyes as he speaks.
Alexander Conway: "Eunice, we have a problem! And no, I don't mean Lucian's atrocious rapping or even his....I'm not even going to go there. But, as I was saying, we have a much more pressing issue. I assume you've seen the same footage of Christopher Bain as I have. Something is obviously wrong with this kid. I've worked with Bain in the past, and he has never spoken to himself like that before."
Alexander shakes his head before continuing.
Alexander Conway: "Not only that, but Bain was hallucinating; he thought he was talking to two other people! At one point, he addressed his reflection while thinking he was someone else! Christopher also thought he had a match with me tonight, and it seems he has forgotten many things as well. He forgot the battle royale, he forgot Lucian's name, and he forgot how long Lucian has held the belt for. To me, that sounds like either a concussion or a mental disorder, like Schizophrenia."
Alexander turns his back to Winslow, staring at the wall as he presents her with this problem.
Alexander Conway: "Plain and simple, this kid is a menace in this state. Who knows if he'll show up, or not show up. Who knows if he'll remember how to wrestle, or if he'll wear his gear, or if he'll remember the rules. In this state, he's very much like a toddler with a knife. Nothing good will come of it."
Turning around to face Winslow, Alexander puts his hands onto her desk as he leans closer to make his points more clear.
Alexander Conway: "He has to be stopped before he hurts himself or someone else. I propose that he be forced to get a medical exam. If they clear him, goodie for him. If not, he should be given two options. If it's an injury, he can take time off. If it's a mental disorder, he can either take whatever prescription the doctor may give him and pay to check himself into an institution for the mentally diseased, or, if he doesn't do this, then he should be fired. We don't need a liability in this company, Eunice. Do you not agree?"
Crossing his arms, Alexander awaits Eunice's response.
Eunice P. Winslow looks at Alexander Conway, sips her tea calmly before replying to the wrestler's request.
Eunice P. Winslow: "You think that we actually have the resources right now to spare for a medical examination? As you know things are tight right now Mr. Conway and we have our fair share of lunatics here in ULOL so bring me more proof than someone who talks to himself on the mirror. Seriously, I think it is very out of character for you to show this much concern for Mr. Bain..."
The vice-general manager looks at Conway in the eyes.
Eunice P. Winslow: "I've been in this business for a long time Mr. Conway, you show concern about Mr. Bain yet ignore the other crazy stuff happening? What about Zombie or Q who shredded the belt? What about Tonelada? You are clearly up to something Mr. Conway and unless it benefits the company, I shall not waste any resources just for a medical exam..."
The feisty old lady leans back and smiles.
Eunice P. Winslow: "I know there is an ulterior motive for your sudden concern for Mr. Bain's welfare..."
Mrs. Winslow waits for Alexander Conway to reply.
A look of annoyance flashes on Alexander's face as he considers what Eunice has said.
Alexander Conway: "So, you're saying that you can afford to pay us, but not send us to receive medical care should we need it? Oh joy, apparently this company can't even guarantee our safe healing from work related injury."
Alexander throws his hands up in frustration.
Alexander Conway: "Where's our worker's compensation? You expect us to go out and damage our bodies, but then treat us as animals? What's the mentality? When one breaks, we'll simply purchase another? And what about Q? What about Tonelada? Why should I be concerned with either of them? They choose to do what they do. Zombie, it's in his nature. I'd like to see him burned, but since that seemingly will never happen, I don't worry about it."
Alexander stops for a moment before smiling at Eunice.
Alexander Conway: "Why don't we look at this from a financial stand point then, shall we? You say you can't afford to get Bain a medical examination? Well, I say you can't afford not to give him one. He'll end up hurting someone if you don't, it'll probably be a fan, and then what? They'll sue, that's what. Why should you and everyone else be concerned with Bain? Because it's only a matter of time before that toddler stabs the dog, stabs his playmate, and then stabs himself. And who will be left to pick up the pieces? His mother and father. You and Allister would take so much fan and legal abuse if Bain ends up killing himself or another because of your decision not to help him. Like I had said, his strange actions could be from almost anything. Who knows, it could kill him tomorrow, but I'm sure it would be alright to wait one more week for more conformation. He doesn't even know he's damaged goods in the brain-pan, because he's completely off his rocker. What's a little risk to possibly save some money, right?"
Winslow looks at Conway with a bemused expression on her face.
Eunice P. Winslow: "We are on a tight budget Mr. Conway, as of now our medical resources are stretched thin... Though your proposal does seem to have merit, I will look into it. Maybe we will be able to find a way to accommodate your request. Now if there is nothing else... I have more things to do tonight..."
Alexander turns and walks to the door.
Alexander Conway: "Nope, that was all. You can carry on with your day."
Alexander opens the door and takes a half step out before looking back at Eunice.
Alexander Conway: "I do hope you will make the right decision....leaving things to chance never works out in the end."
With that being said, Alexander walks out of the office and pulls the door closed behind him.
The scene started with Taufik walking around the city in a better mood than when he was in the ring. Taufik then went into the restaurant where he ordered a well done steak and wait for his food. Soon his food arrive and just as Taufik is about to take a bite, a mysterious man came to Taufik's table and Taufik gets a shock. Taufik then starts to talk.
Taufik: "No This isn't happening. What the hell? Why are you here? What in the world you want from me?"
The voice gave a chuckle as the camera started to swing towards the man before being violently shoved back in Taufik's direction.
??: "No no, not yet."
That was all he simply said before the camera man refocused back onto Taufik.
??: "Funny how you should ask that, you see it has be a long....long time seen I seen you and your buddy. I have scores to settle and debts to collect."
Taufik: "Yea? And what it has to do with me? I remember a "Good" friend of yours ditched you if I remembered correctly. So you gonna settle the score with me?"
Taufik looks at the mystery person as he waits for an answer.
??: "Oh come now, the question you should be asking is when he will be ditching you. I been watching and noticed that he doesn't seem that loyal to you as you are with him."
The sound of a match being struck can be heard follow with a small trail of smoke flowing past the camera lens.
??: "To me it looks like you are being used and you know you have much more potential than being someones lackey right?"
Taufik gave it some thought as he realized the changes lately ever since his partner has been working with another person in the ring.
Taufik: "I know what you mean and you've got my attention. Why did you come to me? What good am I to you?"
The mystery man gave an obvious chuckle before speaking.
??: "You have heard the old phrase 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend.' We can help each other get what we want. What we deserve. Revenge, money, titles you name it. A business partnership if you will."
The mystery mans hand appeared on cam for a hand shake to 'seal the deal' on the offer.
??: "What do you have to lose?"
The scene then fade to black without knowing the outcome.
The Morbidly Obese Man Admin
Posts : 2990 Join date : 2008-12-29 Age : 48
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Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/22/2011 Sun May 22, 2011 12:02 pm
Scene fades into the ULOL arena. The fans are cheering loudly as the cameras pass them. Then 'Simply Unstoppable [Yes Rock Remix]' by Tinie Tempah starts blaring over the arena. The fans start cheering even louder as a spark shower begins to fall underneath the titantron. After a few seconds, 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson jogs through the sparks and stops at the top of the ramp. He is wearing his wrestling attire. He scouts the entire arena. Before walking down. He tags a few hands of the fans and rolls into the ring. He climbs a turnbuckle and taunts to the fans. He climbs down and grabs the microphone. The music fades out as UJJ speaks.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Last week we witnessed a war of a fatal four way match for the Primo Ultimo Championship. Despite my best efforts, my waist is still empty. Well so is Zombie's thanks to the jealousy act that Q pulled off. He deserves to be suspended this time."
Few boos are heard but cheers are more heard from UJJ's fans.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Even though you don't have a title belt to prove it, you are still a champion Zombie and you are without a number one contender to take that belt from you. So I had a somewhat crazy thought awhile back."
UJJ strolls around the ring.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I thought that why not give the viewers at home and the fans in attendance a real main event. A main event that could possibly top the first ever main event of ULOL. A rematch if you will. Yours truly Jack Johnson vs The Morbidly Obese Man!"
The fans roar and start chanting 'make the match!'
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "If I remember correctly Lard Ass, we both tried to screw each other out of the title. So we have a score to settle. So why not settle it tonight. Me vs you, the winner gets to face Zombie for the Primo Ultimo title at the PPV. what do you say?"
UJJ lowers the microphone and awaits the arrival of his tag partner.
Thunder crashes as the crowd roar with approval. Smoke begins to fill the arena becoming more thick around the ring. Tubular Hell plays as Chriso walks out onto the stage area with a microphone in his hand. He has a smile on his face as he raises the microphone
Chriso: "Well UJJ...... You don't know who I am.......... And i don't know who you are........ and to be honest..... I couldn't care......."
A large majority of crowd boo but some cheer still
Chriso: "I saw you last week fighting for the now destroyed title....... And now you think you deserve another shot straight away?....... At a title that doesn't exist?........ Somehow....... I don't see this as fair......."
UJJ goes to raise the microphone to comment back but Chriso raises his arm causing a deafening thunder crash to cut him off.
Chriso: "I'm not finished!!!.......... You want a Number One Contender match between you and that fat guy?....... You guys aren't the only ones with a grudge against Zombie........ I suggest..... If you don't fear me............ to make the match a Triple Threat!!!"
The Crowd cheer and chant various names.
Chriso: "However........ If the you and fat man have something to prove........ you may have you're battle........ But I intend to take that spot from the winner!!!"
The crowd cheer and boo with mixed views
Chriso: "I couldn't care less about that title at this time........ I realise that the only way I can get to fight Zombie........ Is to become No.1 Contender to his belt........ And if that means I have to go through you or the Morbidly Obese Man..... Then SO BE IT!!!" Chriso lowers the Mic looking down to the ring smiling
THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!
The earth reverberated and shook as the monstrosity known as The Morbidly Obese Man squeezed himself out of the now visibly cracked entrance tunnel. There is no entrance music and no video playing on the Titan Tron. Just one massive form that brushes past Chriso as he makes his way down the entrance ramp. He stops right outside the ring and stares down his tag partner then looks at Chriso standing on top of the entrance ramp. Raising a mic to his lips, the big wrestler replies.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Chriso, I do not care what your beef is with Zombie. You think you can get through me? You are sadly mistaken, you have to get through not only one of us but Morbidly Unstoppable if you want that title."
The fat man then focus his attention to his partner.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Johnson, Johnson, Johnson... If you remember we agreed that we won't hold anything back on that match, that we would compete with each other as much as we would any other foe. It is unfortunate we ended up our own worst enemies..."
The big man sighs and shakes his head before continuing.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "It is true that we can settle things here tonight on who gets first dibs on Zombie... Yet I also know that if we battle tonight, the winner of the match may not be in full health once the PPV Cojones Grande comes around and that would benefit Zombie and neither of us."
The big wrestler looks up as his gaze settles on "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson's...
The Morbidly Obese Man: "No, I will not fight you tonight, instead I shall let you have that number one contender spot for the title instead, the only condition I want is that I get a title shot if you win that gold. In fact being a good partner as I am, anyone who opposes this, I shall crush with my own two hands, including Chriso!"
The Morbidly Obese Man grins as he looks at Chriso then enters the ring and offers his hand to his tag partner.
Chriso stares intensely at The Morbidly Obese Man. He looks around the arena at the crowd chanting "Shake shake shake" before laughing under his breath and raising the Mic to his mouth.
Chriso: "Hmph....... I don't THINK i can get through you Morbid...... I KNOW i can........ For you see...... Zombie was able to get through you last week....... And I am twice as powerful as Zombie!!!"
The crowd cheer loudly
Chriso: "Back to the matter at hand however........ I'm opposing you're little decision.......
Chriso begins walking down the ramp
Chriso: "Which means you will have to crush me Morbid....... So now we need to arrange a match between me and you...... And once I have laid you to rest........ You're partner is NEXT!!!
Chriso stops at the bottom of the ramp looking into the ring between the two men.
The big man smirks as he looks down on Chriso...
The Morbidly Obese Man: "I know of your reputation Chriso, I've seen your work outside ULOL, but guess what? Things are a little different once you are here. You have been here what? Less than a month? Tell you what Chriso... Let's make this a little interesting. I understand you are also booked in a match tonight... Against Tonelada no less. Win your match tonight against him first then I'll consider fighting you. I know like us, you have no love for Zombie... So I propose this, if you win tonight, we can duke it out after the PPV and see who gets first dibs on the title after my partner here strips it from that undead mound of putrid flesh. You say you can go through me? I say you'll run into a dead end..."
The Morbidly Obese Man leans into the ropes and stares down on Chriso...
The Morbidly Obese Man: "I'll be watching you closely tonight Chriso... And I do hope you win so that I can show you what running into a wall feels like."
Chriso turns around and starts walking up the ramp. The crowd begin boing but as he reaches the stage, Chriso turns and looks back to the ring.
Chriso: "Tonight I will be sure to keep my promise....... I WILL face you after the PPV Morbid...... I will surely run into a Brick wall........ But whether the wall can withstand my force.... is a different story!!!"
Chriso walks toward the backstage area but stops again and looks back
Chriso: "And if I know Zombie........ You're partner will not be the new champion....... Only I can knock off Zombie...... You will see!!!"
Lights flicker on the stage area as Chriso disappears behind the curtain
A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals hits the speakers. After a moment fire spouts from the entrance ramp and "The Demonic God" Shogun can be seen walking through. The familiar emotionless expression can be seen glued to the mans face as he makes his slow decent down the ramp towards the ring to the fans dismay. Soon Shogun enters the ring and takes a mic from an awaiting ring hand where where he now begins to speak.
Shogun: "Well.....well.....well.....It looks like....We have a.....new....wannabe....Shogun."
Shogun chuckles
Shogun: "Not just a wannabe, but a wannabe who can hardly....get out a word....without.....a long pause. I did not know that ULOL had a special division for the speech impaired! Perhaps someone should make sure that the members of that division do not wander out im public for my safety because honestly I nearly suffocated from laughing just now. Also please do not tell us about how much you would enjoy knocking up Zombie. Yes I did indeed notice your play on words wannabe! Nothing flies over the Demonic Gods head."
Shogun: "In all seriousness I have no idea why so many of you pretenders decide you want to come to ULOL..I mean come on Chriso you could hardly cut it in VCW so you decide to come back to ULOL to get your ass handed to you by me even more? And what more Johnson do you honestly think you will ever deserve another title shot after failing so viciously over...and over...and over again in multiple divisions? I mean look at you! You have your tag team partner out there with you and yet you STILL cant seem to pick up a singles title!"
Shogun: "Then again...You two were always a failure as a tag team anyway so I guess the theory of your partner being a help kind of goes out the window. Seeing how you are out here talking about number one contendership I thought I would just remind everyone that tonight The Anarchist take the first step in winning tag team gold! Tonight we will be in a number one contenders match for the Campeónes Compañero titles."
Shogun: "And when we do that? I will be taking the next step in the process of regaining what is mine. The Primo Ultimo title. A title you screwed me out of Jack off. A title that I honestly hope you win. Because if you happen to win it I will take GREAT pleasure in taking it away."
UJJ raises the mic but pauses for a while.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Anyone else wanna come out and steal the limelight? Anyone? No? Good. It seems that I have to address a few things. Firstly that new dude.. Chriso his name is right? Well your not here anymore but I can tell you that you are wrong. You see Zombie may be an undead nightmare who eats people for a living but to me he is just another insignificant fool who happens to hold.. Oh wait, too late for that. The point is, he just happens to be the Primo Ultimo Champion. Now I'm not scared if him, nor is anybody else. I'll go into that match and do what I do best. Defeating my opponents and winning championships."
UJJ turns his attentions to his tag team partner.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I expected better from you Lard Ass, I really do. I do remember having that conversation with you. But considering that we both got in each others way, we better sort out who gets a shot at the Primo Ultimo Championship, fairly, inside the this very ring. But seeing as you declined, I'll reluctantly take the number one contender spot. But honestly I expected better from you. I was sort of looking forward to kicking your ass again. But you made your choice."
The fans start booing. UJJ lightly shakes TMOM's outstretched hand. The new number one contender then addresses the Demonic God Shogun.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Finally we come to you. Jack Off? Really? How long did it take for you think that up eh? I bet your so proud of yourself aren't you. Now if I remember correctly Shogun. Which I do. You screwed me out of the title as well. Remember pulling the ropes away when I was about to grab them? Because I do. I remember it well."
UJJ stares at Shogun before continuing.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "If anyone is a wannabe here Shogun then it is you. All you want to achieve is what I've been trying to achieve since day one. I'll give you an example. You claim that you will win the Campeones Camperno and then go on to win the Promo Ultimo Title. Guess who had the same goal. Me! Another one? You start to give people mock nicknames. Oh look. Another thing that I do! Wasn't being a carbon copy of Bloodflame enough?"
UJJ smirks for a quick second before standing toe to toe with Shogun.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Sorry but there wil only be ONE 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson! That 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson will always be the FIRST Campeones Camperno. That 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson will always be the best wrestler in the entire United League of Lunatics. That 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson will DEFEAT Zombie and become the new Primo Ultimo Champion. That 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson will ALWAYS be ME!"
UJJ's tone is an angry one. He looks at Shogun and lowers the microphone.
Shogun smirks as Johnson speaks
Shogun: "Wannabe you? Are you serious? Are you seriously joking right now? Let me remind YOU who I am Jack off!"
Shogun takes a step forward
Shogun: "I am the FIRST and longest reigning Primo Ultimo champion in the history of this company! I am a member of the most dominating tag team in wrestling today! I am a BTWE hall of famer! I am the man who put giving people nightmares on the map!"
Shogun stares Johnson in the eyes
Shogun: "Who in the hell are YOU to be calling ME a wannabe? You won a tag title and then lost it not long afterward! That is your accomplishment in life! I have been destroying men left and right ever since I stepped into this business. I have DOMINATED every single challenger who has stepped into this ring with me! YOU Have been dominated at every turn. You call yourself "unstoppable" yet you will NEVER...EVER beat me in this ring one on one! And when you try I will destroy you. If you win the title? I will destroy you and then take the title so it goes back around the waist of its rightful owner."
Shogun: "I hope you understand EXACTLY what I am telling you right now Jack off because you talk a gigantic game. The problem is you can never seem to back that talk up with wins."
UJJ quickly raises the microphone.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Still going on with Jack off eh? Well how about this then Nogun! No for no you will NEVER defeat me. No for no you will never become the Primo Ultimo Champion as long a I'm champion!"
UJJ momentarily pauses.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "You want to list achievements? I'm sure you don't have the time to listen to me list them. As for hall of fame... I'm way too young in my career to even think about Hall of Fame but I can guarantee that I'll be in more worthwhile hall of fame than BTWE. But let me tell you this. Were you undefeated in Wrestling Havoc Worldwide? Oh wait you wasn't. Because you were playing Hide and Seek with Birdbrain and his little bitch!"
Few boos are heard from the crowd. While others cheer in agreement.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "So as for you little statement about not backing my words up with wins then why not wait and see if you win tonight. Lets see if you can back up your words with a win. Then once I win the Primo Ultimo Championship, maybe I'll give you a shot at the title just to put your money where your mouth is."
UJJ lowers the mic again.
Shogun takes a moment to chuckle before getting into Johnson's face
Shogun: "NEVER disrespect BTWE in my presence again Jack off. As for the long list of achievements that you do not have? I knew you wouldn't have any. However I would like to remind you that I am twenty five years old. I became a hall of famer at the age of twenty three and yet your excuse is being to young?"
Shogun: "Also you might want to work on your English bub. I do not want to have to throw you into the speech impaired division with Chriso!"
Shogun chuckles heartily now
Shogun: "How long were you even in WHW anyway Jack off? Two weeks? I wouldn't not brag about a three match winning streak Jack off. It only makes you look like a bigger loser then you already are. Trust me when I say you are going to need all of the 3 credentials you actually have by the time I`m finished with you."
Shogun leaves the ring now and begins to talk up the stage before looking back at Johnson
Shogun: "Good luck winning the title from Zombie Jack off! And even better luck keeping it when I come for you because it will take a miracle to keep that belt around whoever`s wait it lies once I begin my hunt again."
Shogun drops the mic and exits the stage without another word
Before anyone else can reply Creeping Death by Metallica plays and Zombie appears at the top of the ramp. He walks out with a microphone in his hand and has the cardboard version of the Primo Ultimo belt around his waist. He stays at the top of ramp and addresses the wrestlers in the ring.
Zombie: "You all talk big games! Yet only a small minority can actually back that up! Only Jack Johnson seems to be acknowledging ME! The CURRENT Primo Ultimo champion! And yet he is underestimating me! You of all people Mr Johnson should know it takes more than one person to bring me down. It seems to me as if you all underestimate this undead champion!"
Zombie points down at the wrestlers in the ring and continues.
Zombie: "What's the matter Shogun? You talk as if you're only addressing UJJ as the champion! I was looking forward to your challenge for this title but I was bitterly disappointed when you backed off towards the tag division! What will you do if Mr Johnson fails once again? Go back to your tag team? Or will actually show your demonic side and challenge me for this belt?"
Zombie taps the cardboard belt. Forgetting it is made of cardboard he accidentally pokes a hole through the center of it. He rolls his eyes and sighs at the sight of the hole.
Shogun: "Do you people ever give up?"
Shogun barges out of the curtain again with a mic in his hand and immediately gets in Zombies face
Shogun: "You talk like I`m afraid of you Zombie! However I am RIGHT here in front of you looking you directly in the eyes. I have already beaten you before and IF you happen to keep your title I will beat you again and take my title back. When I do that I will have something much better that that pathetic cardboard cutout that you have around your waist."
Shogun: "I decided to destroy the tag division because no one seems to want to accept my constant destruction of the singles division and give me a title shot. When I become one half of the Campeónes Compañeros I will come straight for you. Now please do not let me interrupt the bonding of two future losers goodbye!"
Shogun throws the mic down and exits the stage again
UJJ raises the microphone and speaks.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Well, it seems Nogun was in a bit of a hurry to leave there don't you think? Maybe it was because I insulted that old fed of his and now he's gone backstage to remove his emotionless mask and cry into the shoulders of his 'partner'."
UJJ chuckles as he now addresses the Primo Ultimo Champion.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "It was about time you showed your face. Did I mention how incredibly lucky you are to be a champion right now? That is why I underestimate you. I don't see you as a challenge because you were so close to losing the title last week."
UJJ leans against the ropes.
"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Speaking of titles, nice duplicate you got there. where did you buy that? Te charity shop? I hope the company replace it in time for when I WIN it."
UJJ glares at the Primo Ultimo Champion.
Observing quietly at the exchange The Morbidly Obese Man decides to speak up again.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "Now this party is getting somewhere... I see the main eventers have all arrived..."
The big man looks at his partner first.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "You say you are disappointed in me not accepting your challenge Johnson? If you look at it, it's not logical for both of us to fight and possibly injure ourselves one week before the PPV that is why as your tag partner I am offering to let you have the number one contendership while I watch your back. Of course we will still duke it out once you get your hands on that title."
Turning around he then looks at Shogun.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "You, I have no doubt that you'll make a splash in the tag division, though I doubt that you will dominate it like how you think. Me and Johnson here may be having a little hiatus until we get the Primo Ultimo title, but once it is in our hands, both of us will go back and win those tag titles back and if by any chance The Anarchists are the champs by then, well we'll just mow you down and take the tag golds back."
Finally the big wrestler looks at the undead champion.
The Morbidly Obese Man: "You? Spray on some Lysol or something, seriously you smell like a Free Cat left in the sun for a week. I have no doubt my partner here will win that title off your undead butt, so try to enjoy whatever time you have left with that title since come Cojones Grande, you'll be parting with it."
With that the big man drops the mic, exits the ring and makes his way to the back.
THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!
Zombie chuckles and wags his finger at "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson. He walks to the right side of the titan tron stage.
Zombie: "No no no! I was close to losing my title because three wrestlers like yourself were double teaming up on one! If anything you should be more aware of what I am capable of because I took all of that and STILL walked out the champion!! If you will continue to underestimate me then I want people to know NOT to come crying to me when you are lying in a coma! It will be your own destruction!"
Zombie slowly wanders back to the middle of the stage.
Zombie: "And do you really think that there will be a nice new belt come Cojones Grande? Q will continue to push the wrong buttons and will most certainly intervene in our title match! And so doing he will continue to show just how resilient and what a true champion I really am! But .... if you want a new belt by the PPV then I guess someone had better get one .... specially for you!!"
Zombie exits the arena smiling at UJJ.
Lex Lexington catches the Age of Pain's manager, Manolo Ferrer, stepping away from one of the many TVs set up backstage. He quickly approaches Mr. Ferrer, ready for an interview.
Lex Lexington: "Mr. Ferrer. Can I have a moment of your time? There will be a fourway contenders' elimination match, with three of the teams challenging the Age of Pain for the Campeones Companero. Shogun just moments earlier said he and his partner, Shadow Callahan, will be among those three challengers, and they'll be gunning after your team with everything they go. Do you have anything to say regarding Shogun? He's got a strong case for being perhaps the most dominant wrestler in ULOL today."
Manolo Ferrer appears pensive, as he does not reply right away. Instead, he slips a hand into his suit pocket, and pulls out an index card to show to the camera.
GOODFELLA: 1
SHOGUN: 0
Manolo Ferrer is seen walking down the halls of ULOL. The manager of the Age of Pain nods to Richard Simmons as he walks by him. Turning the corner, Mr. Ferrer walks a few doors down, stepping into a locker room.
Only it's not the Age of Pain's locker room he steps into. The manager finds a surprised Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi looking at him.
Manolo Ferrer: "Hello. I think there's something you should know. Actually, I'm not sure if you know about it already, but I'm telling it to you anyway. The other teams you'll be facing in this contenders' match you're in don't think you have any chance of winning. The DWMA spent so much effort talking about winning the Campeones Companero, before they even had their contenders' match with you a couple of weeks ago. The Dopes Who Make Assumptions overlooked you, and I'd say the other teams look at you the same way."
He steps back out, pausing momentarily to add.
Manolo Ferrer: "Think about that. The Anarchists and those Japanese teams all think you're not worth the effort to even talk about."
The manager of the Age of Pain closes the door as he leaves Oriental Spices' dressing room.
Nao Fook Mi looks mulls at what the Manager of Champions just said and puts on her open handed gloves. She gently closes her locker door and faces Little Wang.
Nao Fook Mi: "Hmph... Tell me something I don't know, they again look down upon us Wang. Branded as underdogs, it would be great if we scored an upset, I would revel at the expression on their faces if that happens. So what if we are not perceived as a threat? It will also mean that they are underestimating us and we can use that to our advantage."
Fook Mi throws a few shadow punches into the air before continuing.
Nao Fook Mi: "We will fly under the radar and steal the win from right under their noses. This is our best opportunity for a shot for the tag titles."
Little Wang nods in affirmation at what his partner just said.
Little Wang: "You got that right, they may look down upon us but that will be their gravest mistake. David defeated Goliath, a mouse can scare an elephant... Oriental Spices shall against all odds grab our chance to win the titles and that's all there is to it."
The midget hops down from the bench he was sitting on and heads for the door.
Little Wang: "C'mon Fook Mi, let's show those punks what Oriental Spices can really do."
Little Wang exits the room followed by Nao Fook Mi as the scene fades to black.
& OOC: Sorry for the drawings guys, I wasn't able to make them on time.
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Jim Jackson: "And now we reach the main event, a special four-way tag team match, only three teams can advance to the PPV where they will fight GoodFella & Schwarz for the tag titles."
Brad Blood: "What's special about this four-way tag team match is after a team wins by pinfall, the remaining teams shall still battle on, this will go on until two teams are left, the last team who gets pinned shall not have a chance at the tag titles."
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a special four-way elimination tag team match, the first three teams to get a pinfall shall advance to the PPV! Introducing first, the team of Hayato Tachibana and Ryoma Ichimonji, Getter Team!"
Ryoma and Hayato walk out onto the stage as footage from a Japanese anime is shown on the Titantron, and Ima ga Sono Toki da by Ichiro Mizuki plays. Fireworks erupt from the edges of the stage, which Hayato uses to light a cigarette while Ryoma adjusts his gloves, grinning creepily as he looks around the arena. Their trip down the ramp is less flashy, with Ryoma running toward the ring and jumping right in while Hayato walks slowly enough to enjoy his smoke before joining his partner. Once in the ring, he puts out the cigarette on the turnbuckle as usual, while Ryoma can barely keep himself still with all the adrenaline running through him.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, the team of Leon Hinomoto and Ray Kamaura, The DWMA!"
The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura and Leon walk slowly to the start of the ramp. Following behind is Yuki Monotomo. All three superstars stop and the lights turn back on after lightning strikes behind them. The lasers continue as Ray and Leon slowly enter the ring. Yuki poses for the fans then runs to the apron. They go to different ring posts and climb them, then strike a pose. Yuki slides in the ring and humps the air in the direction of the female fans, then moves to the outside. Ray and Leon move to the same side of the ring and wait for their challengers. Yuki moves back to the barrier and starts talking to the ladies.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, the team of Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi, Oriental Spices!"
Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. Little Wang pops up from in between her legs. They quickly makes their way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. They bow and give their respect to the crowd before heading to their corner.
Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the last team, the team of Shadow Callahan and Shogun, The Anarchists!"
Hurt's "Rapture" begins to blast through the PA system. A blinding light and smoke covers the entrance. Shadow Callahan makes his way out wearing a white expressionless mask and carrying the harbinger. He looks up to the skies and raises his arms as 2 flaming crucifixes appear. He walks down to the ring with his head down. He enters the ring, stands motionless in the center of the ring with one hand covering the mask. He takes the mask off and lets out a primal scream. He looks around him before walking over to the corner.
"A Victim, A Target" by Misery Signals blasts though the arena speakers ans the lights begin to flash on and off. As the lyrics begin Shogun bursts from behind the curtains with fire erupting from the ramp beside him. Shogun begins to make his way to the ring with a look of pure intensity on his face. as he makes it to the ring he runs up and rolls into the ring the expression on his face unchanged.
Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"
Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Looks like Oriental Spices and The Anarchists will be starting things off. Nao Fook Mi and Shadow Callahan engage each other while their partners wait in their respective corners. Fook Mi with lightning kicks to Callahan's leg keeps him at bay... Spinning wheel kick followed by a side kick then an axe kick sends Callahan down!"
Brad Blood: "Damn, those legs are so deadly... Nao Fook Mi goes high risk... She leaps from the top turnbuckle... 450 splash... MISSES!!! Shadow Callahan rolls out of the way!"
A brief cut, and we spot Manolo Ferrer, the manager of the Age of Pain, watching the action from his group's locker room.
Jim Jackson: "Shadow Callahan goes on the offensive, bodyslam! Shadow Callahan picks up Fook Mi... Backbreaker! Callahan is not holding anything back against Fook Mi... DDT by Callahan plants Fook Mi! Callahan drags Fook Mi to their corner, he tags in Shogun! Shogun charges in and takes Fook Mi down with a standing lariat! Shogun picks Fook Mi up and sets her up on his shoulders... Muscle buster! Fook Mi is down! Shogun hooks the leg!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Fook Mi kicks out. Shogun throws Fook Mi to the ropes with an Irish whip... Shogun goes for a back body drop... Fook Mi leaps over Shogun and bounces unto the top rope... Springboard corkscrew dropkick sends Shogun sprawling to the canvas!"
Jim Jackson: "An amazing feat of agility by Fook Mi. Fook Mi tries to get a tag... Shogun has grabs Fook Mi by the leg and drags her back... Fook Mi spins and counters with an enziguri! Fook Mi leaps... She gets a tag! Little Wang enters the ring! Shogun tries to grab the midget but Wang slips past his fingers and just went through Shogun's legs!"
Brad Blood: "Wang bounces on the ropes... Springboard dropkick to Shogun's butt sends Shogun stumbling forward! Shogun tries to grab on to Wang... Wang manages to elude Shogun's grasp and Shogun chases Wang around the ring. Wang gets too close to The DWMA's corner... Blind tag by Ray Kamaura! The big man enters the ring..."
Jim Jackson: "RIGHT INTO A SPEAR BY SHOGUN! Shogun sends Kamaura to the ropes with an Irish whip... Kamaura tries to counter with a clothesline which Shogun ducks under! Shogun goes low and takes Kamaura's leg from behind with a shoulder tackle!"
Brad Blood: "Oh man! Kamaura may have landed badly there! Shogun works on Kamaura's leg stomping away before locking in an ankle lock! Kamaura screams in pain... Kamaura tries to reach out to his partner... Tag to Leon Hinomoto! Leon goes high risk... Flying spinning side kick takes out Shogun! Hinomoto goes for the pin..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Shogun kicks out! Hinomoto hits a spinning neckbreaker on Shogun! Leon Hinomoto grabs Shogun and sends him to the ropes with an Irish whip... Springboard crossbody! Shogun is down!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Again Shogun kicks out at two. Shogun tries to go for a tag, Hinomoto holds on to Shogun's leg trying to pull him back out of Shadow Callahan's reach... WAIT!!! BOY BAKLA JUST PULLED CALLAHAN OFF THE RING APRON! Bakla just hit Callahan with a pink baseball bat before fleeing!"
Jim Jackson: "Shogun somehow gets enraged seeing his partner downed by Bakla... Shogun breaks free from Hinomoto, he dodges a right hook from Hinomoto and counters with a huge uppercut followed by a powerslam! Hinomoto is down! Shogun is screaming at Bakla who is making it's way up the ramp. Hinomoto quickly sneaks up behind Shogun and rolls him up!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Shogun reverses and rolls forward, now it's Hinomoto with his shoulders down the mat!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the first team advancing to the four-way elimination match for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero, the team of Shadow Callahan and Shogun, The Anarchists!"
Brad Blood: "That totally took Hinomoto by surprise and Shogun secures a slot for The Anarchists in the PPV! Shogun quickly exits to check on his partner... Wait! Bakla is sneaking back with it's pink baseball bat... SHOGUN DODGES!!! Shogun was able to see Bakla and starts to throw punches at Bakla! Bakla is in trouble! ALLISTER KING!!! ALLISTER KING JUST JUMPED OVER THE STEEL RAILINGS AND NAILS SHOGUN WITH A FLYING CLOTHESLINE!!! Bakla and King beat down on Shogun and Shadow Callahan before making an exit!"
We cut back to the Age of Pain's locker room. Mr. Ferrer continues to watch the match, his arms folded across his chest.
Jim Jackson: "Well now back to the match! Leon Hinomoto and Little Wang square off. Little Wang with a springboard crossbody... HE GETS CAUGHT MY HINIMOTO! Suplex by Hinomoto! Leon Hinomoto jumps from the turnbuckle, does two front flips before slamming his legs down on Little Wang. He then flips himself and Little Wang backwards, landing with Little Wang pinned down on the ground with Little Wang's legs held by Leon. executing a Rainfall!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the second team advancing to the four-way elimination match for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero, the team of Leon Hinomoto and Ray Kamaura, The DWMA!"
Brad Blood: "Holy crap! Hinomoto redeems himself and gets a win securing the second spot for the championship four-way in the PPV!"
Jim Jackson: "Now it's down to Getter Team and Oriental Spices... Hayato Tachibana quickly enters the ring and hooks the leg of Little Wang who is still down after Leon Hinomot's finisher!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..."
Brad Blood: "This time Little Wang kicks out! Tachibana lifts Little Wang up on his shoulders... Wang slips down! Tachibana tries to get a firm grip on Little Wang but Little Wang slips to the left avoiding Hayato Tachibana's fingers. Little Wang tries to get a tag... Tachibana finally gets a grip on Little Wang! Little Wang squirms around Tachibana's grasp... He gets free! Wang tags in Fook Mi!"
Jim Jackson: "Fook Mi leaps into the ring and attacks Hayato Tachibana with a series of kicks. Big knee by Fook Mi to Tachibana's head! Fook Mi leaps to the ropes, springboard reverse DDT! Fook Mi hooks the leg."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Kick out by Tachibana! Irish whip by Fook Mi... Tachibana reverses and Fook Mi is sent to the ropes instead! Tachibana with a clothesline, fook Mi ducks under it and bounces back with a crossbody... HAYATO TACHIBANA INTERCEPTS FOOK MI WITH A DROPKICK! Fook Mi is down! Hayato Tachibana hooks the legs..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Fook Mi kicks out at two! Tachibana leaps on the ropes... Springboard moonsault connects! Tachibana feeling confident leaps on the ropes... springboard corkscrew splash connects! Tachibana going for a third time... Springboard legdrop! Tachibana goes for the cover!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "FOOK MI GETS A FOOT UP ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!! Tachibana looks pissed! Tachibana grabs Fook Mi and Irish whips her to the ropes... Fook Mi somehow dodges a clothesline and bounces back... Tachibana tries a back body drop... Fook Mi leaps over Tachibana hooks his legs and rolls him up!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Hayato Tachibana kicks out at two! Stiff lariat takes Fook Mi down! Tachibana tags in his partner... Ryoma Ichimonji goes on the offensive stomping away at Fook Mi... Delayed vertical suplex by Ichimonji on Fook Mi! Ichimonji for the cover..."
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Brad Blood: "Fook Mi hangs in there! Ichimonji picks Fook Mi up oh his shoulders... He's going to ram Fook Mi to the ring post... FOOK MI SLIPS OUT OF RYOMA ICHIMONJI'S SHOULDERS AND LANDS BEHIND HIM SHOVING RYOMA SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE RING POST! Ryoma staggers back... Fook Mi rolls Ichimonji up!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."
Jim Jackson: "Kick out by Ichimonji! Fook Mi leaps to their corner... TAG! Little Wang leaps from the ring post with a flying crossbody! He's caught by Ryoma Ichimonji who tries a back suplex! Little Wang slips out of Ichimonji's grasp and lands on the top rope, Ichimonji lands by himself on the canvas... Springboard 630 splash by Little Wang! Tag by Wang! Nao Fook Mi Irish whips her opponent to the ropes, as her opponent bounces back she goes down on all fours and Little Wang uses her back to springboard and hit a dropkick to the opponent's face, as the opponent falls, Nao Fook Mi executes a standing shooting star press executing a Five Star Spice! Fook Mi hooks the leg!"
Brad Blood: "Hayato Tachibana rushes in for the save... NO! Dropkick by Little Wang to Tachibana's shin slows him down!"
Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"
Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the last team advancing to the four-way elimination match for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero, the team of Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi, Oriental Spices!"
Jim Jackson: "The crowd goes wild! Oriental Spices finally gets a much deserved win after a much deserved fight!"
Brad Blood: "Crap! They are not the Oriental Jobbers anymore..."
A final glance backstage, and Manolo Ferrer turns off the TV. His expression is neutral as he walks offscreen.
Jim Jackson: "What a show. What a show!"
Brad Blood: "You got that right, this is a perfect Lucha Loco just before the PPV."
Jim Jackson: "That's right folks, next week, we have Cojones Grande! Don't forget to tune in! Unfortunately we are out of time, for my partner Brad Blood, good night folks and thank you for watching!"
Subject: Lucha Loco 05/22/2011 
Sun May 22, 2011 11:55 am
