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 Lucha Loco 02/03/2011

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The Morbidly Obese Man
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PostSubject: Lucha Loco 02/03/2011   Wed Feb 02, 2011 8:01 pm



Jim Jackson: "Good evening and welcome to another edition of Lucha Loco. Tonight, things seems to be getting a little out of hand. As you all remember last week at the Here's Your Hellishly Extreme Raging Painful Electrifying Showcase PPV, Marcus Troy suspended ULOL superstar Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing and also stripped him of the ULOL Ligero Maximo title. The end result is that protesters comprising of Q's fans have gathered outside the arena trapping us and some of the non-Q fans here inside the arena."

Brad Blood: "That's right Jim, most of the roster couldn't even make it tonight as all the entrances now have been barricaded by security to prevent the protesters from entering the premises. How long security can hold the line, we don't know."

Jim Jackson: "Management has already issued a statement regarding this. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, the card booked for tonight shall be postponed for next week. We all hope that we an resolve this situation safely and without injury."

Brad Blood: "This is real bad Jim. Real bad. The audience that came in early tonight are trapped here with us. I just hope security will be able to hold the line. Oh Gawd, I don't want to die, I'm still a virgi... I mean I still want to experience a lot of things! This is all Q's fault."

Jim Jackson: "Well even though there isn't a show tonight, we will continue to keep you all updated on the happenings here in the arena. Don't turn the channel folks."






The scene opens in the parking lot area where we see protesters and police facing each other in a Mexican standoff. The protesters are getting more riled as each second pass. The tension in the air is so dense it would take a chainsaw to slice through it.



Protesters: "MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO! MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO! MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO!"

The camera pans out and we see standing a safe distance from the chaos is ULOL backstage interviewer/reporter Stephanie Dawson.

Stephanie Dawson: "Good evening everyone, it is a grim sight that greeted us tonight as the supporters of the charismatic masked enigma Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing began to riot at the suspension of their favorite ULOL superstar. There is great unease in the air as just anything can set off the protesters and we will have utter chaos as a result. We are all just hoping that the situation can still somehow... OHMYGOD!! IT HAS STARTED! THE PROTESTERS HAVE BEGUN TO RIOT!"



Stephanie Dawson: "The police and rioters have started to clash! Things are getting out of hand! The police are holding the line but with the amount of rioters, they easily outnumber the police ten to one! This is possibly the darkest day in ULOL history."



Stephanie Dawson: "The police are slowly getting pushed back due to the size of the rioting crowd. Things do not look good. I am being advised to clear the area as the violence slowly escalates. It seems that me and my camera crew may have to vacate to a more safer location. We will try and see if we can get to safetly and then report back on the riot that is ensuing. For ULOL, this is Stephanie Dawson signing off for now."

The screen slowly blinks and fades to black amid the chaos reigning in the background.





Jim Jackson: "Welcome back folks as it seems that the situation has taken a turn for the worse. Q's fans have started rioting and right now there is utter chaos outside the arena."

Brad Blood: "OHMIGAWD! We're all gonna die! The latest reports I'm getting is that the police are getting overwhelmed. I don't wanna die!"

Jim Jackson: "Snap out of it Brad. You are just making the situation worse, we need to be calm for the audience trapped in here with us."

Brad Blood: "Y-you are r-right Jim. I'm s-sorry for my outburst..."

KER-RASH!!!

Brad Blood: "OHMIGAWD! THE RIOTERS HAVE BROKEN THROUGH THE POLICE LINES THE RIOTERS ARE INSIDE THE ARENA! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO..."

KLONK! THUD!

Jim Jackson: "I apologize for my use of violence folks but what else could I do, my idiot partner just won't shut up. Anyways, it seems that the rioters have made it past the police and have entered the arena. Security are trying to prevent the rioters from hurting the people trapped in the arena, things look grim for us... We can only ask that you all please pray for our safety..."






Zombie peels off the burnt skin showing the muscle underneath. He rubs it for a moment and winces at the pain. He puts his fist through the door of the office in anger. He enters the empty room again hoping Eunice P. Winslow would have come back. He looks at the desk and then to the empty bottle of bourbon on the floor. He steps on it with his foot and it smashes into pieces.

Zombie: "Damn that old hag!"

He walks towards the door of the office to exit but he kicks something heavy. He looks down and picks up the lighter used to set his face on fire. He snarls for a moment and puts the lighter in his dirty jeans pocket.

Zombie: "Maybe next time I'll cook her."

He chuckles and leaves the office in the state he had left it previously...

Before Zombie can exit, security suddenly surrounds him. This time armed with tazers, behind them loomed the massive enforcer of Eunice P. Winslow, The Morbidly Obese Man.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Returning to the scene of the crime eh? I seems you may want more bourbon poured on your face and ignited Zombie. It was a mistake on my part to trust security to guard Winslow in my absence but I'm now here to rectify that mistake. The security here is just to make sure you don't run away before I'm finished with you."

The Morbidly Obese Man takes a step closer.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Siding with Troy already put you in my crosshairs, attacking Winslow just brought you a swifter sentence. Prepare yourself Zombie, I'm going to rearrange your face so bad that you'll have to eat from your butt!"

The Morbidly Obese Man steps closer towards Zombie.


Zombie smiles and steps closer to The Morbidly Obese Man.

Zombie: "I'm not going anywhere! This place is already a shithole!"

Zombie puts his fists up ready to fight.

Zombie: "So come on big man! Bring it on! Let's fight! If I can take you out right here, right now I can get to Winslow again."

The Morbidly Obese Man merely chuckles softly.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "You think it will be that easy to get through to me? You are sadly mistaken Zombie, maybe your brain rotted already like the rest of your body. Winslow is my meal ticket just as much as Marcus is yours. You won't be touching her Zombie... In fact, I'll rip those rotting arms off of you so that you won't be able to to grab hold of anything again."

The Morbidly Obese Man cracks his knuckles and starts towards Zombie again.


Marcus Troy: "STAND DOWN!"

All heads whip towards where the general manager of ULOL is standing. The security surrounding Zombie stands down and both The Morbidly Obese Man and Zombie stops in their tracks

Marcus Troy: "We have already a situation on our hands and cannot spare any more men to guard Winslow. I have no time to deal with you now you big fat freak. Furthermore I shall be commandeering this security force you have here for other purposes."

Marcus Troy gestures for the security personnel to leave.

Marcus Troy: "Zombie, I have need of you... We have a situation that is more urgent where I think I will need your expertise in... I'm sure you can continue playing with that piece of ham at a later date."

Marcus Troy gestures for Zombie to follow him leaving The Morbidly Obese Man standing alone. The Morbidly Obese Man is heard screaming invectives and obscenities towards Marcus Troy and Zombie's general direction as the scene fades to black.






The scene opens a few blocks away from the ULOL premises where we see Stephanie Dawson standing. Her hair is a little messy and dark smudges have covered her suit. She is breathing heavily as she tries to make herself presentable.

Stephanie Dawson: "Good evening again. As you all can see we were almost mobbed by the rioters and barely made it out. Things have definitely gone out of hand, behind me you can see that rioters have started burning cars belonging to police and civilians alike."



Stephanie Dawson: "Rioters have also entered the building, we can only hope that everyone inside is safe. Things are not looking good at all. In all this chaos, one can only ask, where is the one person who can diffuse this situation? Where in the world is Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing?"


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 02/03/2011   Wed Feb 02, 2011 8:01 pm



We see the vice-general manager of ULOL standing in her ruined office looking through a window in sadness as the events of the night unfold. A big shadow slowly looms over her causing her to turn around.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "We need to evacuate you ma'am, things are gettin' real bad out here. Rioters have already made their way to the building. Don't worry though, I'll protect you. No rioters shall get through me."

The Morbidly Obese Man shakes his head...

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Damn, that Troy, this is all his fault for suspending Q last week. This could all really be avoided, that man and his pride... I hope the rioters get their hands on him."

The fat wrestler clears the way for Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "This way ma'am, we're running out of time. It seems most of the rioters are heading to ringside but there are a few stragglers and looters about. Nothing that I couldn't handle."

The Morbidly Obese Man offers his arm to the aging VGM to escort her to safety.


The VGM of ULOL nods and takes TMOM's arm.

Eunice P. Winslow: "It saddens me to see all the work and blood I put into ULOL go up in flames because of one man's stupidity. We must definitely wrest the seat of power away from Troy after this night. Things cannot continue as it is."

The old VGM said aloud with conviction.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Tonight's events just prove that Marcus Troy is unfit to be GM. Things never got this bad even when my incompetent son-in-law was in charge of ULOL. My real concern actually are the staff and the crowd trapped at ringside. I hope everyone makes it out safely."

The VGM sighs heavily as she and TMOM leave the scene as it slowly fades to black.






Elsewhere backstage ULOL's intern Bob Bobbie runs around in a panic as loud crashes are heard. Huge beads of sweat roll down from his forehead as he tries to find a place to hide and ride out the riot. Unsuccessful he turns around and sees a group of rioters heading his direction. In a flash of desperation Bob Bobbie did the only thing he could think of to save his skin.

Bob Bobbie: "MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO! MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO! MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO!"

The rioters walk past Bob Bobbie giving him high fives as the go past him. Bob Bobbie could only sigh in relief as he sees the rioters disappear into the shadows. A smile creeps across his lips and he continues to chant.

Bob Bobbie: "MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO! MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO! MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO! MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO! MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO! MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO!"

As Bob Bobbie enjoyed his chanting he turns around and his eyes widen to see none other than the general manager of ULOL standing behind him.

Marcus Troy: "Enjoying ourselves aren't we?"

Bob Bobbie: "B-B-B-BOSS! It's not what you think! You see rioter's and and... I'm in deep shit aren't I?"

Marcus Troy: "No shit Sherlock."

The scene slowly fades to black.






The door to the ULOL infirmary swings open and in strolls ULOL's head trainer Chuck Norris with two unconscious bodies of rioters in tow. He throws the two limp bodies on the clinic floor right in front of ULOL's resident doctor Dr. Booboo B. Gone.

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "You know you could at least throw them unto the beds. So how many again does this make? Fourteen?"

The good doctor inspects the two new additions to the clinic. Behind him we see unconscious bodies lying about filling the beds in the small clinic.

Chuck Norris: "Fifteen Doc. You know I can't really have these hooligans running around hurting people."

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "So you hurt them instead? I can see the logic there Chuck."

The doctor shakes his head as he inspects what seems to be a broken arm.

Chuck Norris: "You worry too much Doc, none of their injuries are lethal, I just knock them out as fast as I can. Besides, they can brag that they were beaten by Walker Texas Ranger when they wake up. Anyways I think I hear some more rioters down the hall."

With that Chuck Norris leaves the infirmary leaving the doctor to wonder how many more injured rioters will be dumped in his room as the scene fades to black.






Jim Jackson: "Are you okay?"

Brad Blood: "Well so far the only injury I sustained was from you when you hit me with the monitor."

Jim Jackson: "I apologize about that but you WERE panicking and it was all I could think of to quiet you down. The rioters have made their way already here into ringside. Security is the only thing keeping us and the non-Q fans safe from the rioters. Something has GOT to be done about this!"

"Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers as smoke rises from the floor. Out from the smoke the figure of Marcus Troy, the general manager of United League of Lunatics emerges. He stops at the top of the entrance ramp with a mic in hand.

Brad Blood: "Ahhh finally!!"

Marcus Troy: "I demand that you cease these riots or there will be serious consequences!!"

Rioters: "MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO! MARCUS DICTADOR! HITLER! ANO!"

Jim Jackson: How is that going to help? Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's fans are just becoming more violent!"

Brad Blood: "Holy shit! Was that a brick?"

Jim Jackson: "Troy doesn't look happy!"

Marcus Troy: "Well I have given you all fair warning but it seems reason have left your minds! Very well! DO IT!!!!"

Jim Jackson: "DO IT?!?"

Brad Blood: "Do what?"

Jim Jackson: "What the?! They're blocking up the exits and have separated the mob from the main crowd! There's a wall of shields blocking all exits! The mob is getting more agitated!"

Brad Blood: "Now the mob is attacking the security! It's just making everything worse!"

Jim Jackson: "Worse is an understatement! Why is Marcus Troy smiling like that? I think he just signaled to someone!"

Brad Blood: "And that someone is emerging from the shadows! Who is it? I can't see!"

Jim Jackson: "The security have cleared a path in for the figure!"

Brad Blood: "He's sort of walking with a limp! No wait he's shambling like... like..."

Jim Jackson: "Oh no! Don't tell me..."

Brad Blood: "Why who is it? I still can't seeeeeee!"

Jim Jackson: It's Zombie Brad!! Marcus Troy's new acquisition Zombie has entered into the circled off area! And it's full of the riotous mob!"

Brad Blood: "Or in Zombie's eyes..... A free for all eat all you can buffet!!!!"

Jim Jackson: "The mob has calmed down slightly! Looks like sending Zombie in got the message through! They're all keeping away from Zombie as much as possible!"

Marcus Troy: "I don't care! I don’t care if the sight of Zombie has calmed you all down. You people and Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing have pissed me off for the last time. I gave you all a chance to peacefully retreat but you threw bricks at my direction. This time you people and your “hero” will learn a VERY, VERY serious lesson here today. It’s time you all learned that I!!! AM the General Manager of ULOL and that I!!! have the power in this company!!!! ZOMBIE!!!! MAKE!! THEM!!! SUFFER!!!!

Jim Jackson: WHAT?!?!??

Zombie: "RRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Oh my god!! Zombie is tearing through the people trapped in there like paper!! People are trying to escape but they’re hitting the wall of shields!! THIS IS INHUMANE!!!"

Brad Blood: "That’s why the security blocked the exits up!! Zombie is bouncing around these people like a pinball in a pinball machine!!! Holy fuck Zombie just literally ripped one guy to pieces!!! It’s already a mess in there!!"

Jim Jackson: "This is … is … is … terrible!! It’s disgusting!!! It’s sick!! Letting loose a hungry monster amongst trapped defenseless people! The cries of the dying are unexplainable!! This … this is … I don’t know what it is anymore … I’m … I’m... absolutely speechless!!! Someone turn off the camera!"

Brad Blood: "Look at Troy he’s just smiling. And now he’s lighting up a cigar!! Zombie now just feasting on a woman’s body. Now he’s moving on, after more people! He’s seen a little girl just standing there!! Frozen in horror!!

Jim Jackson: H"ow … how can Troy just watch this from where he’s standing? How can this … this be like … entertainment to him?!?! It’s just … the … the … lowest of the low!! And now someone has just stopped Zombie from hurting the little girl and has sacrificed themselves in the little girl’s stead!

Brad Blood: "Troy is just letting Zombie go nuts!! I mean … I … I … I’m never normally speechless but this is … is … just … a free a for all like I said before this started!! It’s just one huge buffet for Zombie!! Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing’s people will be scarred forever from this!!! I mean even YOU, Jim, said and I quote “something has GOT to be done about this” and it has been done!! I mean people are gonna think twice about a riot here next time right?!?!?! Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Jim Jackson: "I don’t know!! I just don’t know Brad!! We’re going to have to cut the show there ladies and gentlemen! I don’t know what to say … but … after this … there is no way we’re going to carry on with show tonight! We apologize for any language or viewing that may have been too much for viewers in the last ten minutes here but I hope you can understand why … I don’t know if we’ll be on next week due to the … the … horrific … and … inhumane atrocities that we’ve witnessed and still witnessing!!! Oh dear god … Zombie just … just … I … I … can’t … can’t … commentate on this shit anymore!!! … Why aren’t those security bastards doing anything?!?!? Where are the wrestlers from the back?!?!? Get Morbidly Obese Man out here and Alexander Conway!! ANYONE!!!"

Instead of fading out the transmission cuts instantly…






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