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 Lucha Loco 12/30/2010

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The Morbidly Obese Man
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PostSubject: Lucha Loco 12/30/2010   Thu Dec 30, 2010 9:40 am



Jim Jackson: "Good evening folks and welcome to Lucha Loco! We had quite a week last Sunday with our very first ULOL PPV HanuChrisKwanbo. Tonight we may see the aftermath of what transpired."

Brad Blood: "That's right Jim, shogun retained his title last Sunday against Ray Kamaura while Q won the Ligero Maximo title and Morbidly Unstoppable got the tag gold."

Jim Jackson: "Though tonight to give our champions some time to recover, none of them are booked to fight. Instead we have a wrestler returning from an injury and also some new blood waiting to show their stuff. So without further ado, LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"






THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

The whole arena echoed with the now familiar steps of the mammoth of a wrestler also known as The Morbidly Obese Man comes out from the entrance tunnel with one of the ULOL Campeónes Compañero belt draped on his shoulder. Following closely behind him was "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson. The newly crowned tag team champions make their way to the ring.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "As I have promised, I now stand before you all with the gold! That's right I, BY MYSELF won the tag titles. Of course you can see that even though I should alone hold both titles since I was the one who worked my ass off, I was kind enough to let my partner here, who contributed absolutely nothing hold on to the other tag belt."

The Morbidly Obese Man looks at "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson who stares back with anger in his eyes.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "What did I say any untruths? Did I lie or exaggerate? I only said the facts, everyone here watch me get down and dirty to win these belts while you, just acted like a little girl afraid of a little human fecal matter. You should be happy and even thank me you have a title even though you didn't work for it. I handed it to you in a silver platter. Ain't that right?"

The Morbidly Obese Man asks the crowd who enthusiastically reply with a resounding HELL YEAH! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson glares on but the big wrestler just ignores his dagger looks...

The Morbidly Obese Man: "But still nothing changes the fact that we bested ULOL's other tag teams and are now your reigning ULOL Campeónes Compañero!"

The Morbidly Obese Man raises his belt up in the air as the crowd starts chanting TMOM! TMOM! TMOM!


UJJ doesnt even crack a smirk. He grabs a mic that was placed on the mat by a ring technician. He raises it to his lips and speaks.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Ok first of all, yes we did best the other tag teams. But let me ask you this guys. If someone had crap that came from someone's ass on their hands, would you even remain in eyesight of them? Let alone tag them?"

The crowd murmurs some loud "NO" can be heard.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "You see TMOM, you might like having crap on your hands and body, Hell I bet ya you still got some shit lying around there. But I don't. Know why? Because I'm a normal person. Person who has standards in life."

TMOM cracks a smirk and goes to speak but UJJ cuts him off like he wasn't even there.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "You also say that you handed me this belt on a silver platter, which is true however. If I needed to get involved, I would have got the job done. We would still be the err Camp Companions?"

Giggles echo around the arena at UJJ's attempt of pronouncing the title name he won.


The Morbidly Obese Man merely shakes his head slowly while chuckling.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "All I hear are "IF"s Johnson, and "IF" is not the same as what really happened. But no matter, what's important are these gold we have on us. This is but the first step to our dominance here in ULOL."

The Morbidly Obese Man pauses and sighs...

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Now many of you may disagree with us, but seriously me and Johnson, together, we can take anyone here in the roster. In fact I have a wonderful plan. Why not have a champions versus champions tag match? That's right, if Shogun or Q ain't quaking in their boots, me and Johnson here will battle both champs in a tag match. They may of course decline but then we'll know they are both afraid of true greatness."

The Morbidly Obese Man pauses as a sly grin appears on his face.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Now you guys may say that it would be unfair to Shogun and Q for those two do not even like each other. But me and Johnson here don't get along and we ARE the tag team champions. To make things interesting, we'll even put the tag titles on the line, that's right! They have evrything to gain and nothing to lose. So here we are calling out Shogun and Q! Will you answer our call or just cluck and lay some eggs?"


The crowd looks to the stage in anticipation, wondering if anyone will come out to answer the fat man's challenge. The two brand new Campeónes Compañero continue to celebrate, posing with their shiny belts.

Confetti, streamers and balloons begin showering down from the ceiling, as familiar entrance music begins playing. The music sends the fans into a sudden, delirious tizzy, with many fans of all ages squealing in excitement.

The raucous reactions only get much louder, when a white horse trots out onto the stage entrance. Screams of pure adulation and lust drown out everything else, when they realize the white steed's rider is none other than the epitome of excellence, the icon of incredibility of the wrestling ring.

The rider is none other than the Ligero Maximo Champion, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello, my lustfully loving legions of loyal fans! Happy New Year!"

They scream for him. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is dressed in a very formal suit, his threads complementing the newly minted championship belt around his waist.

Champion and rider trot down to the ring at a relaxed pace, accompanied by a large group of reporters who record every millisecond of this monumental occasion. Flowers and underwear are thrown at Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing by his rabid admirers.

He stops for a moment to autograph the forehead of a baby offered to him. The mother nearly drops the child, as she is almost overcome by the act of kindness shown to her by Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

The confetti and balloons continue falling gently, as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing gets closer to ringside, where Morbidly Obese wait for him.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello there! I see I am in the company of fellow champions! Our big matches have surely scored very well with the fans all over the world!"

The fans cheer in agreement. The giant screen at the stage entrance crackles, then shows headlines of the title victories that have led to this meeting of champions.



Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "We toiled in pain and agony! And our efforts were rewarded!"

The fans cheer again. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing continues, completely enthusiastic about praising his fellow champions.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "These two who are now the Campeónes Compañero live up to their billing! That is why they now stand before the whole world today, with gold in their name! And they deserve it! UJJ was so unstoppable! No one could stop him from standing in his corner, doing absolutely nothing! The earth moved! The wind blew! Time passed! And he was totally unstoppable in letting someone else do all the work for him! Even if the Morbidly Obese Man gets sick from wrestling in all that crap, UJJ will be unstoppable in letting that happen! As the man with the gold, we can only expect UJJ to continue being as unstoppably useful as a third nipple on a leper!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing claps his hands heartily in appreciation of Johnson's talent, while atop his horse.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "And of course, it is easy to let the Mountain of Obesity do all the fighting! It is no secret that UJJ's partner has enough mountain in him to count for 1000 men! I still remember the tough challenge I had when I had to test my skills against him! It was like being in the Amazing Race! On foot! With no map! And no money! But I was able to find enough spare change between the folds of him formidably flabby form to survive! Even now, UJJ is unstoppable in being overshadowed by the lord of lardiness!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing pulls on the reins of his steed. The white horse resumes her leisurely trotting, this time walking around the ring.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I am happy to come out here and share some good holiday cheer and championship glory with these prime specimens of lardiness and unstoppability! Greatness truly can only attract greatness! Which is why only three of us are here today!"

The horse neighs as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing passes by Brad Blood and Jim Jackson.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "So in answer to your challenge, I would say, yes!"

The fans cheer excitedly at the prospect of a match between these champions. The balloons and confetti continue to fall, as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing rides all the way around the ring.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I cannot say when, or where! But I see it happening! I think the ULOL General Manager would want to make the fans very happy!"

The cheers and shrieks get even louder somehow.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "But enough about violence! Tonight should be about celebrating! And I shall now continue my celebrating! Happy New Year to all of you!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing leads his horse back up the aisle as the confetti and balloons continue to snow on everyone. Meanwhile, the reporters excitedly break the news to their viewers, as they hurriedly follow after him.

The balloon and confetti snow fizzles to a halt, and Morbidly Unstoppable are back alone again, to bask in their own glorious title reign.


Then Marcus Troy suddenly appears onscreen. He looks annoyed.

Marcus Troy: "I don't remember any of you having any actual power to book matches around here. Let me reiterate! I'm the one who books the matches around here!"

Troy continues talking loudly, to drown out the booing.

Marcus Troy: "I'm not saying I won't let this match happen, but if you want it...well, since Jack Johnson and Fatty want this match, they ought to beg me for it!"


Boos break out, even as Marcus Troy sneers arrogantly.

Marcus Troy: "I'm only going to repeat myself once on this. You want a champion vs champion tag match? Beg me for it! This is a limited time offer, so don't take too long trying to figure out if you really want it!"

All eyes are on TMOM and UJJ who are seem to be seething with rage as the screen fades out leaving the tag champs in the ring.






The scene opens backstage where ULOL's backstage interviewer Stephanie Dawson stands ready wearing a smart pink blazer and a matching pink pencil skirt. She adjusts her blazer and checks her make-up before facing the cameras bringing the mic to lips.

Stephanie Dawson: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen, we are here backstage... Um..."

Stephanie pauses and looks down, she motions a stagehand over and whispers to his ear. The stagehand nods and comeback with a chair after a few seconds. The camera pans down and we see Little Wang climbing up the chair. The camera pans back up as he stands on the chair bringing him to level.

Stephanie Dawson: "As I was saying, we are here backstage with Little Wang, who incidentally is slated to face Puu "The Pig Farmer" tonight. First of all, thank you for granting us this interview Mr. Wang."

Little Wang: "It's a pleasure Ms. Dawson. I will always make time for an interview if you need it."

Stephanie nods and continues.

Stephanie Dawson: "You are slated to fight Puu "The Pig Farmer" tonight. It is obvious to all that he is more than three times your size. How would you cope with that? Wouldn't this match be considered unfair from your perspective?"

Little Wang: "Ah yes, the million dollar question. Well, I am not one to run from a challenge Ms. Dawson. Puu may have the size advantage but size is not everything. Being skilled can be far more advantageous and I can assure you that I am skillful. All my life people have underestimated me due to my size, that will be their downfall."

Little Wang winks at Stephanie. Stephanie follows-up with another question.

Stephanie Dawson: "You may say that but didn't you get kicked into the audience last week at the pay-per-view? What if we see a repeat of last time?"

Little Wang turns a shade of red.

Little Wang: "Oh... That... That was uh... A fluke. That's right a fluke by that stinky man. Kick me and beat me I will stand right back up! I will always be erect ready to face anyone and Puu is no exception."

Little Wang nods at his own statement with affirmation.

Stephanie Dawson: "Another question. Many people are also wondering of your relationship with ULOL superstar Nao Fook Mi, can you shed a little light on that?"

Little Wang: "Fook Mi and I have been childhood friends, we grew up in the same village and practiced martial arts together. We've known each other for a very long time now. Of course I wouldn't be surprised if she is harboring secret feelings for m... OW! OW! OW!"

A hand is seen twisting Little Wang by the ear, the camera pans out and we see Nao Fook Mi...

Stephanie Dawson: "Well now, it seems that this interview is kind of over. Back to you guys in the booth..."

Little Wang: "It was a joke Fook Mi... A joke! OW! OW! OW!"

The scene slowly fades to black.






All of the lights in the arena go out, and the flash of the occasional bulb flashes in the darkness. A small dot of white light shines from the center of the ULOL Tron.

Sounds begin to flow from the sound system, faint at first, but slowly it becomes recognizable. A chorus of Monks chanting with bells clanging in the distance. As the light grows brighter and larger, the bells and monks begin to crescendo.

Four lines begin growing from the spot in the center of the screen, each reaching out for one of the sides, forming a distinct cross.


2011 - Salvation Comes to ULOL

With a sudden loud clash of bells, the ULOL Tron goes dark once more.




VS

Jasmine Lee: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first! Making his way to the ring, here is Little Wang!"

"Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor starts playing on the speakers as flashing multicolored lights starts flashing at the top of the entrance ramp as smoke rises from the floor. A small form suddenly bounces out of the entrance tunnel and through the smoke which is slowly clearing. The crowd looks wide-eyed at the small midget standing on top of the entrance ramp with both arms in the air waving a victory sign with his fingers. The midget runs down the ramp and scampers into the ring.

Brad Blood: "And we got a midget in the ring."

Jim Jackson: "A midget who can hold his own against normal sized wrestlers, if his match against Brandon Cavo is any indication."

Brad Blood: "I heard Stank Lord had Cavo locked up in a cage, and only gave him water for three days before that match. Little Wang went in the match with an unfair advantage over Cavo. There is no way Little Wang would be crushing anybody if Cavo wasn't treated like a caged sex slave by Stank Lord."

Jasmine Lee: His opponent! Making his way to the ring, here is Puu "The Pig Farmer!""

Pigs' squeals are heard as Puu "The Pig Farmer" jogs his way to the ring.

Jim Jackson: "And we have Puu returning to the United League of Lunatics! He was a fierce competitor with the previous incarnation of ULOL."

Brad Blood: "He's a very tough pig farmer. Puu has had his share of violent matches. I can only imagine what he would do to Little Wang. Hell, ULOL seems to be giving him an easy matchup tonight. Puu! Wang! Wang! Puu!"

Jasmine Lee: The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte! And now, LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Brad Blood: "Will Puu get some Wang! Or will Wang not be smothered with Puu!"

Jim Jackson: "What Wang is doing is backing away from the much larger Puu. Puu looks very amused by having to fight a midget!"

Brad Blood: "Wang better keep backing away, if he doesn't want Puu to devour him!"

Jim Jackson: "Wang ducks out of the way, and kicks Puu in the shin! Puu very surprised by that!"

Brad Blood: "And not in a good way! Now he really wants some of that Wang!"

Jim Jackson: "Little Wang running as fast as his legs can carry him! Puu dives after Wang, but misses! And Little Wang kicks him in the other shin!"

Brad Blood: "But that gives Puu the opening to get his hands on Little Wang! He's gonna chomp Little Wang down now!"

Jim Jackson: "But Wang manages to scurry outta Puu's hands, and climb behind him! There's a Little Wang draped behind the back of Puu's head!"

Brad Blood: "Upside down, no less! Looks like he's trying to get some sorta sleeper on the Pig Farmer!"

Jim Jackson: "Puu reaches over and grabs Wang again! Pulls him off but now he's screaming!"

Brad Blood: "There's a sweaty Little Wang dangling off his ear!"

Jim Jackson: "Wang's got himself an iron grip on any bit of Puu he can get his hands on! Puu trying to pull off Wang! And failing!"

Brad Blood: "But that hard yank got Wang off!"

Jim Jackson: "But Wang grabs him by the nose! Wang's up Puu's nose!"

Brad Blood: "He's like a freakin' mountain climber! He's just grabbing at any handhold of Puu he can find!"

Jim Jackson: "Wang is all over Puu's face! Puu grabs Wang! He's...trying to squeeze Little Wang into a limp noodle!"

Brad Blood: "And now Wang's screaming in pain too! If Puu keeps this up, I think we'll see Wang spurt! Like a tube of toothpaste!"

Jim Jackson: "Puu stumbling around the ring, with Little Wang hanging off his face! OH MY!"

Brad Blood: "Puu just fell over the top rope! And Little Wang just dropped on his head!"

Jim Jackson: "Puu didn't see where he was going! He just tripped over the ropes, with Little Wang still on his face!"

Brad Blood: "He may be a midget, but that additional Wang weight's gotta hurt for Puu just the same!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five!"

Jim Jackson: "Little Wang...is showing signs of life! He's limping along, trying to get to the ring steps!"

Brad Blood: "The Pig Farmer's as still as a puddle of poo!"

Don Q. Hotte: "Six! Seven! Eight!"

Jim Jackson: "Little Wang is clambering up the ring steps!"

Brad Blood: "Wang's getting back in the ring!"

Don Q. Hotte: "Nine! Ten! Ring the bell!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of the match, by countout...Little Wang!"

Jim Jackson: "What an upset! What an upset! Little Wang is raised in victory! His hand, I mean!"

Brad Blood: "Wang comes out on top of Puu mountain! Puu is only now regaining consciousness!"

Jim Jackson: "Little Wang took the fight to Puu! The Pig Farmer underestimated him, and paid for it! Little Wang stands straight and proud in victory!"



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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 12/30/2010   Thu Dec 30, 2010 9:40 am



"Like a Rolling Stone" by Bob Dylan is heard through the arena while Meteoro slowly makes his way down to the ring wearing casual clothes. Most people don't know who he is so they don't say anything. It seems they are waiting for him to talk to decide if they need to cheer or to boo.

He reaches the ring and is handed a microphone. The music stops and he stands in the middle of the ring looking at the silent crowd for some seconds, before he begins to speak.

Meteoro: "Oh, ULOL, good ol' ULOL. I think I missed you. I never though I would ever be back here. Many of you probably don't know me. I'm Meteoro, and I used to be in this fed some time ago, before Marcus was the GM and all of that stuff."

Surely most of the current fans weren't fans back then, so they don't know who he is.

Meteoro: "Back in those days a lot of weird stuff was going on, really weird stuff. I traveled through time and space and met aliens and stuff, and I died, but I came back to life. Well, so did everybody else. I left wrestling when ULOL closed, and it was pretty though."

Apparently, the crowd is starting to get bored of his story.

Meteoro: "I had no money, no home. I was like a rolling stone. But now i decided to come back, and stop being a complete unknown. I used to think about wrestling as a way to prove myself, then I though it was just stupid, but now, I don't think anything at all! I just wanna have fun, and earn money. Lots of money."

Yep, boring story.

Meteoro: "So that's the reason I'm here. I wanna have fun, and also fame, and that means winning titles. I wanna come out here, with the title, be respected, and be able to give a message that people will hear."

Weird speech for a wrestler.

Meteoro: "I guess that's enough about me. I'm Chilean, and I've noticed there's some other guy from Chile here, which was a little surprising. Sr. Gonzalez? A business man? Man, that's weird, how the hell can someone like that wrestle?"

Finally, the crowd starts noticing something that will tell them whether they should boo or cheer.

Meteoro: "Money can't buy everything, sir! I mean, you are old, and you don't know much about wrestling! I bet you paid a whole lot of money to be trained. Oh well. What else can I say... what else can I say..., Umm, it seems Q just won the lightweight title! I remember Q, we had our arguments in the past, about something I don't wanna remember. And the world champion is, Shogun? I don't know much about him but apparently he has defended the title quite a lot of times."

Now he's just making no sense.

Meteoro: "Hehe, Ok, I'll go now."

Meteoro drops the mic and slowly walks up the ramp.






A man is seen leaning against the wall backstage. He is dressed in simple, basic wrestling gear and is talking on a cell phone.

Man: " ... Of course this is going to be big! I'm the best in the world according to the Observer! ...... Does it matter that I haven't been seen since WHW? No, it doesn't, and I'll tell you why, I'm Daniel K Brook, and I have been wrestling since I was 14, with the most feared move in history, the Fujiwara Armbar....... Yes, of course it has broken arms before. Remember how I almost broke Alexander Conway's in that one match...... No, I'm not making up another story....... Look, I bet your just mad that you lost your passport to come down here to Mexico with me...... My match is about to start, I'll call you later, Brian."

The man walks down the hallway towards the ramp as the screen fades out.




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Scene opens at the backstage interview area, where ULOL's resident interviewer, Stephanie Dawson, usually hangs out. Speaking of Stephanie, she steps into view beaming broadly. Her blond silky hair is pushed back behind her shoulders. She raises her special modified microphone to her mouth as she speaks.

Stephanie Dawson: "Ladies and Gentlemen, my guest at this time, The British Hawk!"

Cheers can be heard from the arena as the fans are viewing this segment from the ULOL Tron. The British Hawk comes into view. He too is smiling, but there is something different about this man the fans love. His stubble in which we saw and eventually got used too has disappeared from his face.

The British Hawk: "Thank you for having me here Stephanie."

Stephanie Dawson: "You're very welcome. Now onto business. When you first came to ULOL you was, well below par in your performances but in recent weeks we have seen the old TBH in which we all know and love. Can we expect consistency in these perfomances?"

The British Hawk: "I'm not gonna lie. I was shit in the beginning. I wasn't the same TBH that won the Intercotinental and Tag Team Chmpionships back over in Wrestling Havoc Worldwide. Now I dont blame anyone but myself for that. I allowed my real life problems into my wrestling life, thus causing further problems. However, you are correct, I have improved in recent weeks. I felt like I had to. The fans were resenting me and I was hurting ULOL's rise to fame. But I tried but failed. That is until I got back together with Lady B."

Stephanie Dawson: "So what you are saying is that Lady B is the reason that you have 'regained your abillity'?"

The British Hawk: "Well yes and no Stephanie, I felt more confident and focused once I got Lady B back. It removed a huge obstacle in my life. However, it seems like an abnormal fairytale that a woman would give a wrestler his ability back wouldn't it."

TBH looks at the camera then at Stephanie, waiting for the next question.

Stephanie Dawson: "Well whats next for TBH? What plans do you have?"

The British Hawk: "Well as most people, I like to look forward. I hope to continue entertaining the ULOL faithful who buy tickets to watch us perform, week in and week out. Maybe even come into contendership of the Ligero Maximo Championship."

Stephanie Dawson: "Ligero Maximo Championship, currently held by Q. But why stop at the Ligero Maximo title? Why not gun for the Primo Ultimo?"

The British Hawk: "Well Stephanie, I feel that I have some work to do, so I feel it is only fair that I work from the bottom to the top. When the time is right I will challenge for the title. I have to deem myself worthy."

Stephanie Dawson: "Finally, What are your thoughts on Q? The reigning Ligero Maximo Champion?"

The British Hawk: "I have huge respect for Q. He has his own unique style of wrestling and it proves to work at times. He is a very good champion and he will be very hard to dethrone. If we were to challenge each other, in which we may do in the distant future, I am positive that it will be a great match, one that may have its own place in the history books."

With that said, TBH leaves the interview area, leaving Stephanie to close the segment.

Stephanie Dawson: "Well ladies and gentlemen it seems that we can expect more great matches form The British Hawk. That concludes another interview, enjoy the rest of the show folks!"

Stephanie smiles as the scene fades to black.




VS

Jim Jackson: "Oh, it looks like we have a new face here in ULOL. Daniel K Brook will be fighting Meteoro who was once in the roster under the old management. Shall Meteoro make a successful return or shall Brook be the one who takes the limelight tonight?"

Brad Blood: "I remember Meteoro, isn't he that weird guy?"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Daniel K Brook!"

Daniel K Brook comes out to the ring, with no music on, stands in the middle of it, and crosses his arms.

Jim Jackson: "Brook's presence looks pretty imposing in the ring. I think Meteoro may have his hands full with this guy."

Brad Blood: "Well I'm still a skeptic, I've seen Meteoro fight before and he's a handful himself."

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for tonight, Meteoro!"

"Like a Rolling Stone" by Bob Dylan is heard through the arena as Meteoro walks towards the ring. He is wearing jeans and a plain T-Shirt, plus some sunglasses. He seems pretty relaxed, and takes his time to reach the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Talk about opposite polarity. If Daniel K Brook is dead serious, Meteoro is as laid back as one can get."

Brad Blood: "Maybe he is just not worried about his opponent tonight."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Both men circle each other cautiously testing the waters... They engage... Legsweep out of nowhere sends Daniel down. Daniel quickly gets back up... Back heel kick from Meteoro. Daniel goes down! Meteoro goes for an early pin attempt."

Jack B. Nimble: "One..."

Brad Blood: "Daniel gets a shoulder up at two! Looks like Meteoro is attempting a headlock..."

Jim Jackson: "Daniel K Brook easily pushes out of it! Dropkick connects! Meteoro goes down! Meteoro rolls back up to his feet... Right into a rolling kick by Daniel! Daniel K Brook quickly locks in a half-Boston crab! Meteoro shouts out in pain."

Brad Blood: "Ach! That sounds more like screeching than shouting... Oh God, that high pitched screech is making my nervous system cringe."

Jim Jackson: "Meteoro reaches the bottom rope and the referee breaks the submission. Brook leaps off the second rope and hits a back heel kick on Meteoro. Meteoro goes down again. This time Daniel K Brook applies a cross-face! Meteoro flails his free hand wildly trying to get free..."

Brad Blood: "Whoa! Brook just released Meteoro rubbing his forearm... I think Meteoro just pinched him real hard. That's one way to get out of a submission."

Jim Jackson: "Meteoro ducks a wild right hand. Suplex into a front slam from Meteoro. Meteoro tries to lock in an armbar but Daniel wrests his arms away! Daniel walks into a spinning high kick by Meteoro! Knee drop connects! Meteoro hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Daniel kicks out at two, Meteoro thought that he had it there. "

Jim Jackson: "The match continues. Meteoro with a standing spinebuster. Cover! No, Daniel K Brook gets a shoulder up before the ref can even start counting! Meteoro looks shocked. Bodyslam by Meteoro. Stiff high kick on Daniel by Meteoro. Daniel gets up and is Irish whipped to the ropes by Meteoro. Daniel K Brook ducks a clothesline attempt, he bounces back on the ropes. Daniel hits a dropkick on Meteoro. Meteoro goes down! He staggers back up... Daniel K Brook blasts Meteoro with a super kick. Daniel for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Meteoro gets a shoulder up. I guess Daniel still haven't softened up Meteoro enough."

Jim Jackson: "Meteoro rolls back to his feet... Spinning back kick from Meteoro just as Daniel K Brook lunges at him! Meteoro with a hammerlock... Daniel K Brook elbows Meteoro in the face to break the hammerlock. Kicks from Daniel K Brook to the leg keeps Meteoro at bay."

Brad Blood: "Wow, this match is still pretty even... There are still no clear winners at this point."

Jim Jackson: "You are correct there Brad, this match could still go either way... Meteoro charges, Daniel moves, the referee gets knocked out! Daniel takes Meteoro down with a standing lariat! Meteoro gets back up... Right into a uranage! Daniel K Brook climbs up to the top turnbuckle... Diving headbutt from Daniel, he hooks the leg... There's no referee to make the count."

Brad Blood: "Oh! Bad break for Daniel K Brook. Talk about rotten luck, he could have gotten a three right there!"

Jim Jackson: "Irish whip sends Meteoro to the corner... Meteoro counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Flying shoulder tackle by Meteoro sends Daniel to the mat. Full nelson slam! Meteoro for the pin..."

Brad Blood: "Oh great, now the ref wakes up..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Still only a two count! Flying knee to the face from Meteoro sends Daniel staggering. Meteoro charges in... Daniel counters Meteoro attack into a STF! Meteoro is trapped!"

Brad Blood: "Meteoro reaches out to the bottom rope. He's just a few inches away... He makes it! The ref breaks the submission hold! Meteoro gets up right into a hammerlock... He reverses it! Now it's Daniel in a hammerlock! Wait! Reversal again! Meteoro is back in the hammerlock... Whoa! Meteoro counters it into a sleeper hold!"

Jim Jackson: "Beautiful counters by both men. Daniel looks like he's fading away... He tries to reach for the ropes but he's too far away... Meteoro has the sleeper locked in tight... Daniel is losing consciousness..."

Brad Blood: "WHOA! Daniel K Brook stomps his heel into Meteoro's foot! He stomps it again and again! Meteoro's grip loosens and Daniel lunges away gasping for air."

Jim Jackson: "What a close match who knows how this would end. Both men charge in and locks up in a test of strength... Meteoro punches his opponent in the throat, and then performs a complicated slam involving a spin in the air, and then goes for the cover, performing the Breathstopper! Daniel is down! Meteoro for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, Meteoro!"

Brad Blood: "Man, that weird Chilean dude won."

Jim Jackson: "Meteoro with a strong return to ULOL! It looks like another lightweight is marking his territory here in ULOL. Though don't count Daniel K Brook out! That guy has talent and I believe that we'll be seeing more of him in the future."


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 12/30/2010   Thu Dec 30, 2010 9:41 am



The camera cuts to outside a church in a suburban area covered in snow with a clock in the bottom corner showing the date 25-12-2010 1:32pm. Suddenly the camera cuts to inside the church wearing a priest is giving mass.

Priest: "And the lord cometh on that very day, born in a stable, under that bright star guiding the way to our Savior."

The priest points to a reenactment of birth of Jesus

Priest: "We seem to have a special visitor. I wonder who it is?"

The priest walks over to it and pulls a blanket of the manger to show an oh to familiar face lying drunk in the manger

Allister King: "What do you want ya pedophile bastard! I'm trying to sleep here."

A gasp of shock is heard from the attendants at the church at the profanity that was heard.

Priest: "Young man, you not suppose to be here. A baby was suppose to be lying there."

Allister King: "A baby? You priest are going for the younger models now aren't ye?"

Allister pulls himself up and finishes the alcohol he had stashed underneath him.

Allister King: "All you should be ashamed! Coming here to see this...this..this..preverted sicko molest a small child. I mean i know the government are monitoring your computers but come on! Just go for the 18 year-olds like us regular folk."

The priest begins to push Allister.

Priest: "Get out of here now!"

Allister King: "Stop pushing me ya fat cunt or else I will break you fecking jaw!"

The priest continues to push Allister.

Allister King: "Right mate."

Allister headbutts the priest breaking his nose. He then proceeds to rip his shirt off and throw it at the priest.

Allister King: "It's on now!!"

Allister dives on top of the priest and starts to bite him until the attendants try to break it up.

Allister King: "You want some as well, do ye?"

Allister screams and runs headfirst into the people knocking most of them down.

Allister King: "Who's the king? Who's the king? Not this wee bastard that's for sure."

Allister picks up the baby that he set on the floor so he could lie down.

Priest: "Don't harm the child!"

Allister laughs at the priest.

Allister King: "You already harmed enough kids haven't ye? Ha ha you arsehole."

Allister throws the baby like a grenade into the crowd of people and walks over to the altar.

Allister King: "Now to get to the good part. The blood of Christ!"

Allister drinks all the wine.

Allister King: "What the hell is this? This tastes like my ma's tits on a Tuesday afternoon after a good shite!"

Sirens are heard coming and Allister starts to panic.

Allister King: "There's no fecking escape!! Those bastards are hunting me down. You!"

Allister points to a random kid who wasn't knocked to the ground.

Allister King: "What day is it?"

Kid: "Christmas day."

Allister King: "Here!"

Allister throws the kid some guys wallet.

Allister King: "Go get me an automatic rifle. Today is fucking judgment day ha ha!"

The kid and everyone else runs out of the church. Squad cars can be seen outside.

Allister King: "Wee fecker stole my money!! I need that for drink!"

Cop on megaphone: "Come out with your hands up!"

Allister King: "I didn't here please ya pig!"

Cop on megaphone: "We will give you to the count of 10 or else we will come in to get you by force."

Allister King: "Oh no. I'd like to see ya try ya sheep shagger!"

The cop starts to count down from 10.

Allister King: "I gotta do this right, but what to do? I fecking got the answer."

Allister breaks the leg of a table, grabs the lid of a metal bin and begins to get naked.

Allister King: "This will show them I'm not messing around."

Allister stands in the aisle holding the broken table leg in one and and the bin lid in the other. For obvious reasons Allister's genitalia is blurred out.

Cop: "Go!! Go!! Go!!"

Allister King: "YAHHHHHHH!!"

Allister runs towards the police banging the bin lit with the table leg as the camera fades to black.

TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO SEE THE MISADVENTURES OF ALLISTER KING!!






The scene opens as we see Arnold Bold known as GoodFella, Felix Schwarz and the recently returned from the dead Taufik. Felix doesn’t show any emotion but GoodFella is very angry. He calms down and says what he want to say.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "I was wondering where the hell you’ve been all this time partner... I got myself Campeónes Compañero title opportunity and what you do? Huh? You ruined it for us! Explain to me your freaking actions and tell me why I shouldn't destroy your pretty face."

GoodFella looks with anger into the eyes of Taufik.


Taufik, who is now all muscle and standing in the dark steps out and goes right to the face of Arnold.

Taufik: "Is this how you treated your friend that has been missing for a month? You are now looking at the new and improved Taufik. I'm no longer that Taufik who thinks he's dashing or the old Taufik who gives grooming tips to people. This is the new Taufik that you are seeing and I have only one goal in mind... Destroying people, and looks like both The Morbidly Obese Man and that UJJ are my first victims on the long road of bone breaking title glory. Right now I got a proposition for you, if you are willing to listen."

Taufik waits for Arnold to reply.


Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "What do you think I'll say to friend who is missing for a month and just pops back in from nowhere? I was searching for you the whole damn month. No one can surmise how I felt at that time. The only one question I got for you is where the hell have you been? Because it doesn’t look like you’ve been kidnapped or anything. You who are a big celebrity just went missing, you can’t even imagine how much money me and Manolo spent to find you….You say you got proposal for me? Huh? Well I’m listening..."

GoodFella is still mad but he is listening what Taufik has to say to him.


Taufik: "That is a very wise choice, Arnold. I'm going to tell you straight to the point. Are you willing to be by my side destroying people or are you going to be the guy that I have to destroy because you are in my way on my road to title glory? Think about it Arnold, you can't win the tag titles with that pipsqueak Felix whoidontcarewhathislastnameis. But with me, you and I going to get that title away from both TMOM and UJJ. What do you think?"

Taufik awaits for Arnold to reply to his proposition.


Man: "So that was all you?"

The wrestlers find manager Manolo Ferrer approaching them. He appears very displeased, as he stares at his formerly missing client.

Manolo Ferrer: "Welcome back, Mr. Taufik. You decided to distract Mr. Bold, when he was just seconds away from winning the tag titles?"

Manolo Ferrer quickly interrupts Taufik, raising his hands as if trying to ward off whatever his formerly missing client will say.

Manolo Ferrer: "I don't want any misunderstanding here. But it strikes me as very unusual that you would want to get back at Morbidly Unstoppable by costing the GoodFella and Mr. Schwarz their chance at victory. I do not understand the logic. It is very important that we have clarity on this situation which we now find ourselves in, because Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz were so close to becoming the Campeónes Compañero."

Mr. Ferrer pauses. When Taufik does not reply, the manager emphatically adds.

Manolo Ferrer: "It's not unreasonable to ask for a clear answer. Please explain so we can understand."


Taufik looks at Manolo Ferrer as he sits down somewhere dark.

Taufik: "Well it's simple, To make myself better without letting you all know. I am so sick and tired of "Dashing" Taufik that I destroyed him real good. As some people would like to call it... A beautiful disaster. Well now I'm back, better than ever and I will destroy anyone who is in my path to tile glory and immortality in the ULOL."


GoodFella is still looking mad and he can't believe what he heard.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "You came back and cost my damn freaking match. That's another question that must to be answered why you decided to give victory to Morbidly Unstoppable instead of helping us? Huh? What excuse you will use know? Huh?"

GoodFella is staring into the Taufik eyes.


Taufik: "Excuse? There's no excuse on what I did there. You lost while you were distracted. I know now I going to have fun destroying Morbidly Unstoppable and lay claim to that the tag title before anything else. I loved the sensation of my Singapore Cane smashing right into both of their thick skulls. I am going to enjoy it again when we meet.

Taufik waits for someone to answer.


It looks like none of these questions that was asked by Arnold are going to be answered so Felix decides to interfere in this little conversation.

Felix Schwarz: "Well Arnold you’ve been very paranoid and nervous all this time then Taufik disappeared and guess what Taufik is back and playing mind games with you and your manager. What is the reason for this you might ask, but everyone knows it, that Taufik didn’t want to have you as a nemesis so he spent his time to make these videos to just play with you, am I right?"

Then Felix turns around to see what Taufik reaction is. Then he steps back and looks into both men.

Felix Schwarz: "This is just a beginning of your plan to rule ULOL, is that right? But you have been out of action and didn’t follow what has been happening in ULOL. And then you came back and you saw that GoodFella and Schwarz are a better team than The Entourage... And now you thought I might warn him that he is doing mistake isn’t that right?"

Felix looks at Taufik and waits for explanation.


Taufik gave a little laugh before he replies to Felix Schwarz.

Taufik: "Who the hell are you trying to interfere in this affair Felix? I will be damned if the team of Bold and whoidontcarewhathislastnameis is a better tag team than The Entourage. If you are then why aren't you the tag champs? Is it because you guys got distracted by the video? Real teams will keep focus."


Manolo Ferrer quickly steps in between them, though his eyes are fixed on Taufik.

Manolo Ferrer: "Please correct me if I am wrong, Mr. Taufik, but you deliberately distracted Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz from winning their match? You wanted to be the guy who gets the glory?"

Mr. Ferrer is dumbstruck by what his client has just said. When Taufik does not reply right away, the manager follows up his own question. His calm, even-keeled voice does not match the agitation on his face.

Manolo Ferrer: "I am not sure if you have been keeping track of time, Mr. Taufik. But a full month passed by while you were off on your sabbatical of self discovery. The GoodFella may be the greatest tag team partner you've ever worked with, but he has his career to think of, too. Felix Schwarz volunteered his services as a tag partner. If it wasn't for him, Mr. Bold would not have been fighting for a championship. Your attempt to...help...the GoodFella and Mr. Schwarz undid all their efforts."

Mr. Ferrer goes on, hoping to get his point across.

Manolo Ferrer: "We spent a lot of time, effort and money looking for you. To have you say it's the GoodFella's own fault for being distracted by your video misses the point, to put it mildly. He would not have been distracted if you at least had better timing for your video's broadcast. I signed on as your manager to help guide you to all those shiny, gold belts you wanted. I can't do that if you try to undermine each other. Or disappear for a month without at least telling us, so we can better prepare for it."

Manolo Ferrer stands between the wrestlers, hoping to keep them from tearing into each other.


Taufik: "I know that, But I decided not to. I rather keep it a surprise to you all. Right now I'm back and we are going to get ready to take over the ULOL. And Marcus Troy have set me up a match with that no good for nothing Hillbilly Phil. Well all I need to know that are you guys going to forgive me or shall I have to break your bones and have you all join in the long line of my list of conquests?

Taufik waits for anyone to answer.


Felix sees that it is hopeless, and that Taufik do not intend to answer all these questions put to him.

Felix Schwarz: "It looks like none of the questions are going to be answered, well that’s what I expected from you. It’s like Mr. Manolo have said, me and Mr. Bold moved on to a new chapter and I clearly see that you don’t like it. Well you say forgive to forgivr you for your sins. But you already cost our match, not once but two times and I bet you'll do it again. We do not trust you yet Taufik. Isn’t that right Mr. Manolo? So reveal your all cards Mr. Taufik."


Taufik stands up and stares at Felix with anger as he replies.

Taufik: "Oh it's that right Felix, how bout this. The next year , the very first show of ULOL of the year 2011. You and me one on one. The winner stays and become Arnold tag partner while the Loser quits the group. So what about it Felix whoidontcarewhatsyourlastnameis."

Taufik waits for Felix to answer the challenge.


Felix Schwarz thinks on what he should reply.

Felix Schwarz: "You know what? This offer is not interesting to me, but since I am not coward I will accept your challenge and we will collide in square circle. We will see which one will be declared the winner of the match. Since I am not welcomed here by Taufik I will leave you two here, cause I have to attend some other business…"

Felix Schwarz closes the door and heads to the parking lot.


With questions left unanswered and GoodFella tries one more time to reach his old tag partner.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "So you are going to tell me why you decided to play these games with me? And I am serious… And after hearing your answer I will think about the trust that you demolished..."


Taufik: "My mind games may have cost you the match but that doesn't matter anymore because as of right now, I'm back and ready to annihilate anyone who stands in The Entourage's way. The trust that I demolished is the old Taufik trust. Right now the trust of the new Taufik has begun and if you trust me enough, we are going to get ourselves the ULOL Campeónes Compañero. What is it going to be. With me or against me?"

Taufik waits for Arnold to answer.


With Taufik or against Taufik? That’s what on the mind of Arnold right now but this question is very tricky as it will affect more than GoodFella himself.

GoodFella: "You know Taufik I will answer that question then you reveal your card to us. What are you really planning, cause I know, Felix knows and Manolo knows that you still have some kind of plan that you are keeping from us. When you tell me what it is, then just maybe I will trust you again."


Taufik: "I have told you already. It's just a matter of whether you listen to it or not. It's about the takeover of ULOL and we are going to do that by taking every single title here one by one and with our first objective is to destroy both TMOM and UJJ and put the belt right where it belongs, to us. That Felix guy. I have never trusted him and never will. After this week, I will face him and wipe him off from the face of ULOL and possibly the world."

Taufik pauses for a second before he continues to talk.

Taufik: "But now I have to take care of that Hillnogoodbilly Phil. I don't care if you following me tonight or not, but think about my proposition."


Manolo Ferrer raises his hand at this point, calling the attention of both men.

Manolo Ferrer: "I'm sorry. You want to challenge Felix Schwarz to a match, to see who gets to become Mr. Bold's tag partner? What exactly is this? A duel for the hand of some princess? I hope you remember that this sort of challenge was what turned Brostar into Stank Lord's personal gimp."

Mr. Ferrer notes the reactions of his clients, and decides to take another tack.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Taufik, won't it be a whole lot easier to just ask your old tag team partner if he wants to work with you again? This match you're suggesting sounds like two dogs fighting over a piece of meat. I'm not altogether sure if Mr. Bold would like to be compared to a piece of meat."

Mr. Ferrer's gaze floats between the GoodFella and Taufik.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Taufik, if you don't trust Mr. Schwarz, then maybe you should go ahead and try to settle things with him. But having the GoodFella be contractually obligated to be anyone's tag team partner as a result of the match is asking for quite a lot. What sort of penalty should be given to Mr. Bold if he decides he doesn't want to be your tag team partner anyway?"

Mr. Ferrer's lets that sink in for a moment.

Manolo Ferrer: "I like your ambition to become the biggest thing in ULOL. But it's going to take a lot of work to rebuild your momentum after you went AWOL. Now, I'm going to step outside and leave you two to talk things over. I am not demanding you settle things today. But I would prefer if you do not wind up wrestling each other and rolling around on the floor. Just keep it rated G, all right?"

Manolo Ferrer sternly eyes both men, before leaving them alone.





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"I am...All of Me" By Crush 40 plays as Brostar walks on to stage with his hands up high with the crowd cheering as of what he did at the PPV and walks down the ramp tagging the fans hand, Brostar gets in the ring and grabs the mic to speak.

Brostar: "Hello everyone and welcome to ULOL!"

The crowd cheer loudly.

Brostar: "Man I haven't felt this good for a while since you know I have a stench following me for months. But finally I sprayed it away and you won't be smelling anything bad for a long time also with that said Brandon Cavo, you are free to do what ever you wants without anyone causing you trouble. Now before I get started, I want Nao Fook Mi to come out he cause I have something to say to her."

Brostar waits for Nao Fook Mi to come out.


The fans expecting Nao Fook Mi to come out and reply suddenly hear a familiar nu-metal song playing. Shrieks and cries of near-instant arousal erupt from the crowd, with many rushing to the walkway where the wrestlers make their entrance.

The shrieking gets louder as they see him step out. He is dressed in a Zegna suit that highlights his muscled form. The fabric complements the shiny Maximo Ligero belt around his waist.

He is none other than the gilded gladiator of the wrestling ring, the man idolized by millions, and known only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello, my loyal legions of lusciously loving fans!"

They cheer for him as he makes his glorious march down the aisle. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing enters the ring, soaking in the adulation and joy being loudly given to him by the fans.

He climbs each corner of the ring, showing off his new title belt to the fans. The glimmer of his name on the belt's plate shines under the cascade of flashbulbs lighting up all around him.

The chants and shrieks get louder as confetti, streamers and balloons begin falling from the ceiling. The balloons have the mask of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing printed on them. The newly crowned Ligero Maximo picks up a balloon, and playfully volleys it into the audience. It is a move he immediately regrets, as he momentarily freezes from the lingering pain of his brutal title match.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It seems like such a short time ago, when I was fighting for my very life inside a steel cage! I remember every second of pain that threatened to break me into a million tiny pieces! I remember the taste and smell of blood on steel!"

The fans grow silent with concern as they remember all too well the hard challenge Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing faced. Several chants of GONZALES! PINOCHET! DICTADOR! MARIONETA! break out in different parts of the building.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "But that is all behind us, my loving legions of lustful fans! Now, you have a champion you can truly support! Without having to feel dirty about sticking a toe into his hairy sphincter!"

The fans cheer again, clearly very happy about Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. and his title win.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I am here today to celebrate with all of you! In fact, I see I already have a fans in this very ring with me, to bask in the warm sexy afterglow of what I have achieved!"

Photographers quickly gather around the marvelous masked maven of the wrestling world, as he does a victory pose with the other man in the ring. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. even pulls out a notepad, signing his autograph as a gift to the lucky fan who has traveled so far to come see his hero.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Please tell me your name, so I can give you a humble token to commemorate this historic highlight of your life!"

Then Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing takes a long look at the other man. The new Ligero Maximo champion practically leaps backwards, away from the "fan".

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I know you! You are him!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing quickly runs behind the other man, looking at his butt.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It is you! You are the one with the creepy smile and whistling fart! You are the one who breaks wind when leaving an elevator! YOU are the buttocked fiend who tried to keep me from reaching the Ligero Maximo final!"


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing points a finger at Brostar's butt, who finds himself being booed at.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It was you! You may look different now that you are no longer Stank Lord's goth alien schoolgirl fantasy! But I have the misfortune of having the sharp eye and sharper memory to recognize the curves of your buttocks! Anytime and anywhere! And I recognize those buttcheeks because you flashed them in my face!"

A heavy round of boos and angry jeers erupt from the fans, all at Brostar.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I appreciate you coming down to join me in my celebration! But as you brutally attacked me in the first place, I hope you understand if I would rather not let you try and attack me your buttocks again! I will have to give this autograph to someone else! You are on my unfriend list!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing points to the aisle, basically instructing Brostar to get out of the ring.


Brostar: "All I wanted is for Nao Fook Mi to come out and end the feud. Anyways so Nao Fook Mi if you can please reply to me?"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing gives Brostar a look of outright disbelief as he calls out for Nao Fook Mi to help him.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I see! You want to be a good guy! So you can hide behind Nao Fook Mi! You say you are now a good guy, and so we should all forget all the dirty evilness you did! Especially to me!"

Ligero Maximo Qualifying Match, December 16 flashes on the big screen.

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing has her! Lifts her for the vertical suplex!"

Brad Blood: "She slips loose!"

Jim Jackson: "CLOCKS Q IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A BIG ENZIGUIRI!"

Brad Blood: "She nearly kicked his head into the stands!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing practically laying flat on his face! Nao Fook Mi in a lot of pain! She's...crawling towards her opponent!"

Brad Blood: "Q is still in la la land!"

Jim Jackson: "What's HE doing out here!"

Brad Blood: "Stank Lord is marching down to the ring! Nao Fook Mi's face just lit up the moment she saw him!"

Jim Jackson: "The referee telling Stank Lord to return to the locker room! Fook Mi looks like she's ready for him!"

Brad Blood: "Which is really a bluff, since she's hurt and all!"

Jim Jackson: "Stank Lord taunting Nao Fook Brostar is in the ring! Fook Mi turns around and Q JUST GOT A FACEFUL OF FART GAS!"

Brad Blood: "Q FALLS LIFELESS TO THE MAT!"

Jim Jackson: "Fook Mi ducked just in time! She knocks Brostar down with a kick to the chest!"

Brad Blood: "Jack B. Nimble is calling for the bell!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen! The winner of this match, as a result of a disqualification, and advancing to the next round of the Ligero Maximo tournament...Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Brad Blood: "Q advances! Nao Fook Mi's been screwed over!"

Jim Jackson: "Nao Fook Mi can't believe it! Brostar missed, but he was still able to cost her the match! And Stank Lord can't help but celebrate like he's won a championship!"

Brad Blood: "Someone better check on Q! He could have thrown up in his mask or something!"

Jim Jackson: "Nao Fook Mi glaring daggers at Brostar and Stank Lord as they make their exit! But the damage has been done!

Boos are loudly heard as the highlight clip ends. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing continues to speak, his voice as cheerful and full of sunshine as ever.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "What is your excuse for that! Were you brainwashed by Stank Lord's farting! Is this supposed to be all Stank Lord's fault, and you were just an innocent little virgin Brostar! You want to be a good guy, so you don't have to be responsible for what you did when you were not a good guy!"

The boos continue. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing cheerfully continues.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I do not remember inviting a phony good guy to my celebration! That is what you are! Because you do not want us to remember what you did! To me!"


Brostar: "Mr. Q there has been a lot of stuff that I had done which I'm not proud of and I'm sorry for anything I had done to you."

Cheering and jeering fill the building after Brostar's apology, as the fans react to what he has said. Some approve of Brostar's words. Others don't.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing does not say anything, at first. Instead, he turns to the crowd, watching and listening to their reactions.

This goes on for awhile, before he suddenly spins around, face to face with Brostar.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Absolutely! Definitely! Indisputably! You have done a lot of nasty, filthy things! Nasty things many of us cannot unsee! Filthy things that can get the ULOL thrown off the air!"

Jim Jackson: "...there's video of Stank Lord and Brostar?"

Brad Blood: "It's not worth leeching off the torrent. Trust me."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "You can apologize now! You can try to be a good guy starting today! But I am not the only one you have wronged!"

Another video begins playing on the giant screen. We see pictures of a happy baby boy. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing points to the screen, stepping through the ropes.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "These are the pictures of someone who had big dreams! He wanted to be a big star! With people cheering for him, and asking for his autograph! That is why he came to the ULOL! But then, the wrestler with the big dreams had his first match!"

Lucha Loco, December 16 flashes on the big screen, as another clip begins to play.

Brad Blood: "DID YOU SEE THAT!"

Jim Johnson: "Incredible! The Stank Lord just FARTED at Brandon Cavo while he's midair, sending him crashing to the mat!"

Brad Blood: "Brandon got farted out of the sky! Jack B. Nimble BARELY put on his gas mask in time to save himself!"

Jim Johnson: "Cavo landed quite awkwardly! I think his arm's limp! It could be broken!"

Brad Blood: "He farts again, this time point blank in Brandon's face! Brandon loses consciousness!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Ring the bell! This match is over!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of the Fart Challenge...the Stank Lord!"

Jim Johnson: "And now we see Stank Lord, trying to pull Brandon Cavo out of the ring! Brostar is going to get a new playmate!"

Brad Blood: "He's gonna be his sex slave. He's gonna gargle mayonnaise. Them's the breaks, Brandon!"

Jim Johnson: "Wait, Nao Fook Mi is rushing out to stop the Stank Lord from taking Brandon Cavo!"

Brad Blood: "Brandon should have thought about that BEFORE he agreed to this match in the first place!"

Jim Johnson: "Brostar just blindsided Nao Fook Mi! Fook Mi is groggy from the attack!"

Brad Blood: "Brostar's...he bent over and blew a huge fart right in her face!"

Jim Johnson: "The intensity of the blast sends Nao Fook Mi crashing THROUGH the guardrail! Nao Fook Mi's been knocked out!"

Brad Blood: "Cavo's still out cold too! I think Stank Lord better check if he's choking on his vomit!"

Stank Lord grabs his latest trophy by the foot, and drags him back to the locker room. Brostar follows at a respectful distance behind him, even as EMTs rush out to check on Nao Fook Mi.

The clip ends as boos fill the building again. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is now standing in the aisle, looking at Brostar, who is still in the ring.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "You can try to be the good guy today! You can try telling everyone you don't have to be Stank Lord's virgin transexual nun fantasy anymore! But you let Stank Lord keep another boytoy! You, more than anyone on this planet! You know what it's like to have Stank Lord molest you night and day! And you left a man behind! Because you are now a good guy!"

Thousands of angry glares are directed at Brostar, even as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing starts marching up the aisle.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "And now, I have my glorious celebration to celebrate! Maestro! Play my music!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's song begins playing. More confetti and streamers start falling from the ceiling, and the fans who were giving Brostar the stare of death are suddenly cheering and shrieking the name of the masked marvel of the wrestling.

The journalists who constantly follow Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing trail behind him, continuing to take countless pictures, as the new champ slaps hands with as many fans as he can.

Within minutes, the entourage has returned to the back, leaving Brostar alone in the ring.


Brostar: "Whatever! I'm going to prove one way or another that I am a good guy and you all can count on that."

Brostar drops the mic he was just about to leave the ring when all of a sudden the lights turn out bang and crashing can be heard around the arena no one knows what is going on. The lights turn back on and we see Brostar laying down on the floor motionless with blood all over his face. The EMTs come to check up on him and help him to backstage.

~The Camera Fades Away~




VS

Jim Jackson: "And tonight, we see the return of Raven Connoly! After getting injured and going through intense physical therapy and training, is she ready again to battle inside the squared circle?"

Brad Blood: "We also have word from Cavo that this will be his last match. It seems that he's retiring from wrestling, I guess his experience with The Stank Gang left a foul taste in his mouth."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Brandon Cavo!"

Brandon Cavo comes out, quickly running to the ring.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Raven Connoly!"

"Warriors Code" By The Dropkick Murphy's starts to play throughout the arena. Raven runs out onto the stage, she throws her fist in the air and screams as a barrage of fireworks go off behind her.

Jim Jackson: "Looks like the fans are happy for Raven's return..."

Brad Blood: "Well she's hot in that outfit she's in... Oh man is she hot."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Cavo tries to charge in but is kept at bay by a series of low kicks by Raven. Irish whip sends Cavo to the corner. Here comes Raven... Cavo counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Spinning back kick from Brandon Cavo. Brandon Cavo misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee by mistake. Springboard blockbuster on Raven!"

Brad Blood: "Cavo hooks the leg, but the referee is out. What an idiot knocking out the referee then going for the pinfall."

Jim Jackson: "Raven blocks a kick from Brandon Cavo. Brandon Cavo takes a knee lift from Raven. Cavo is again sent to the corner with an Irish whip... Raven Connoly with a running dropkick into the corner."

Brad Blood: "Oh! Cavo staggers around before dropping to the canvas! Did you see Raven's skirt fly up during that dropkick?! Man that was hot! Raven for the pin."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Raven goes high risk... Diving headbutt!"

Brad Blood: "That has also gotta hurt Raven... Raven hooks the leg."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Raven thought she had it there. Cavo blocks a punch and counters stunning Raven. Irish whip sends Raven to the ropes... Running bulldog! Second rope splash by Cavo, he goes for the cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Raven gets a shoulder up! Cavo picks Raven up and loads her on his shoulders... Raven escapes and slips down behind him."

Jim Jackson: "She whips Cavo around... Enzuigiri! Cavo drops down to the canvas! Raven Connoly grabs Brandon Cavo and throws them into the turnbuckle, Raven Connoly runs towards Brandon Cavo, does a cartwheel jumping into the air and wrapping her legs around their head, Raven Connoly locks her legs around their head and pulls them to the mat locking in a koji clutch executing a Taste of Heaven! Brandon Cavo can not resist anymore and taps out!!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via submission... Raven Connoly!"

Brad Blood: "I bet Cavo did taste heaven there. Look at the smile on his face..."

Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly goes into the crowd, where she celebrates her victory! A triumphant return for Raven Connoly!"


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 12/30/2010   Thu Dec 30, 2010 9:41 am



The lights in the arena dim down as the ULOL Tron fizzles to life. Alexander Conway is seen on the big screen, dressed for success as usual in his signature black designer tuxedo. He stares at the screen for a moment with his usual scowl before beginning to speak.

Alexander Conway: "Now that the miserable business with the Ligero Maximo title is officially behind me, I can focus on something much more important. This thing, is all that this federation needs to reverse Marcus Troy's poor judgment. This thing, will bring back the prestige of this federation."

The crowd in attendance start booing Alexander.

Alexander Conway: "I really think you people will appreciate it, maybe not at first, but definitely in the long run."

Alexander looks behind him. Thanks to his movement, half of a Grandfather clock is able to be seen. He turns back and begins to speak again.

Alexander Conway: "I'm afraid our time grows short, as I have business to attend to. Keep watching folks, ULOL is about to enter into a new epoch. One of strength, one we all will be proud of."

The ULOL Tron goes black, once again falling into a quiet slumber. Although the feed has stopped, the booings of the audience persist for a few more minutes.





The scene started with Taufik coming to the parking lot and sees an old symbol of "Dashing" Taufik. That old symbol was his car. He heads toward his car with a fire axe in his hand and destroys his old car part by part. As he is dismantling his car, he laughs. Once he had destroyed his car completely, he felt some satisfaction as he started speaking to no one in particular.

Taufik: "The last ornament of "Dashing" Taufik is now destroyed. So will you tonight Hillbillynogoodfornothing Phil. You are my first victim that Marcus Troy has set me up with. Tonight I will start my reign and road to destruction and glory... And Felix, next week you are going to be the next guy to have broken bones. No matter if they sanction next week's match or not, I will be coming after you."

Taufik walks away and back to The Entourage's locker room after a powerful shove to the camera man to the ground as the scene fades to black.




VS

Jim Jackson: "Last week we saw the return of Taufik. But to all our amazement it's not the old "Dashing" Taufik but a new more grittier Taufik. Tonight we will see the new Taufik in action."

Brad Blood: "I just can't believe he's not GAY Taufik anymore."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Hillbilly Phil!"

A loud Yee-Haw blares over the speakers as bluegrass music plays over the sound system, Hillbilly Phil makes his way to the ring carrying with him a jug which he shares with the crowd.

Jim Jackson: "Here comes Hillbilly Phil, despite his rotten luck in the ring, he is still well loved and well received here in ULOL."

Brad Blood: "Well he would have better luck I reckon if he was fighting GAY Taufik..."

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for the evening, Taufik!"

"All That Remains" started playing as Taufik walks out and pryos started to come out. Taufik makes his way to the ring with his trusty Singapore cane. When he enters the ring, he raises his Singapore cane another another set of pryos starts to shoot out from each corner as he waits for the match to start.

Jim Jackson: "Well this NEW Taufik seems like he's all business. He actually looks menacing now."

Brad Blood: "Maybe he's still a GAY Taufik underneath, you know a closet case."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for the match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "There's the bell! Taufik with an Irish whip sends Hillbilly Phil to the ropes... Big backdrop on Phil! Taufik hits a spinning elbow drop and quickly hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Phil kicks out at two! The match goes on!"

Jim Jackson: "Back heel kick from Tau followed by a standing clothesline sends Phil to the canvas! Taufik looks menacingly at Phil. He digs his heel into Phil's face! Taufik stomps in Phil at the face! Again and again and again!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man, this new Taufik is brutal. I think I'm beginning to like him."

Jim Jackson: "Phil blocks and holds on to Taufik's foot! He throws Taufik off-balance and quickly gets up. Phil blocks a kick from Taufik. Vertical suplex by Hillbilly Phil. Vicious back suplex! Pin!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Taufik gets a shoulder up at two! Taufik fights his way back up to his feet..."

Jim Jackson: "Phil has Taufik in a headlock... Taufik fights out of a grapple. Phil walks into a spike slam. Taufik with a leg drop... Right into Phil's chest. Taufik with his forearm of Phil's face pins him down."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Phil fights out of that one at two. Taufik seems to have some killing intent in his eyes. If looks could kill, man Taufik's eyes screams bloody murder. This new Taufik is awesome."

Jim Jackson: "Taufik climbs up to the top ringpost... He leaps... OH!! Right into Phil's knees! Chokeslam by Phil shakes the ring! Tau staggers up into a back suplex! Phil is not done, he tries to set Tau up for a piledriver... Tau counters it into a back body drop! Taufik hits a missile dropkick on Phil. Diving headbutt from Tau. Hillbilly Phil can barely stand. Here it comes... Taufik set his opponent up in a rock bottom position, he lifts up his opponent just only for him to be crashing down in a sit down spinebuster executing a Taufik's Curse!"

Brad Blood: "Whoa! I felt the shockwave from that impact! Taufik hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall... Taufik!"

Jim Jackson: "Hillbilly Phil loses this one to Taufik... He leaves the ring and walks back down the aisle. Wait...Taufik comes running as well, and Phil gets dropped with a strike from the Singapore cane followed by a load of stomps. He is left lying in the aisle. That was totally uncalled for!"

Brad Blood: "That was totally awesome! Now I'm sure I like this NEW Taufik, GoodFella should just ditch that hack Schwarz and continue his tag team with Taufik."




Jim Jackson: "Well what a night we had, we had four great matches and many more surprises..."

Brad Blood: "You got that right. Even after the PPV things haven't calmed down much... In fact I think things will only get nastier from hereon in."

Jim Jackson: "Probably Brad, I won't refute that so tune in next week folks to see what else unfolds here on Lucha Loco. Until next week! Good night!"


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 12/30/2010   

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