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 Banzai Ultimo 09/30/2012

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The Morbidly Obese Man
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PostSubject: Banzai Ultimo 09/30/2012   Wed Nov 25, 2015 7:59 am



Jim Jackson:  "And again we welcome everyone to a great night of wrestling!  That's right, a three-way hardcore title match and the 3 versus 3 tag team match shall highlight tonight's evening!  But first, let me introduce my partner here in the announce table, Mick Mooney!"

Mick Mooney:  "Yo dudes and dudettes!  It's gonna be a wild evening tonight that's for sure.  I'm so excited I can cream my pants..."

Jim Jackson:  "Premature ejaculation eh?  No wonder you your girlfriends always leave you Mick..."

Mick Mooney:  "AHM GONNA KILL YOU~!"






Vera:  "Iz zhere no challenge at all?  Iz zhis vhat LLP has got to offer?  A pitiable lizzle waif called Camerella Videoh?"

The Amazonian beauty looks straight in the camera and shakes her head.

Vera:  "I shall dispatch zhis lizzle waif with no trouble at all and zhen, after tonight, I zhall focus on claiming a new prize...  So you champions beware...  After tonight, I Vera, shall come after zhat shiny gold around your waists."

Vera walks off as the screen fades to black.






The camera approaches Alexander Conway, who is leaning against the side of the arena with his eyes closed.  As the camera gets closer, Conway lets out a huff of air before opening his eyes and looking in into the camera with an annoyed look.

Alexander Conway: “How fitting that I used the term “calamity” to describe what would cause me to lose the lightweight title match.  I do find consolation in the fact that Crusade is a moron though.  You see, while I was actually winning the match, Crusade was lying on the mat dazed.  Christy would have defeated him had it not been for me.  Of course, when I was about to win, Crusade would come back to steal my work.  That, that is annoying.  I should have won that match, but Crusade managed to take advantage – no, I let him take advantage of the situation to pick up the win.  It’s funny though, Crusade claimed that I was using the past as my justification, but he then used me to win.  If I am not among the best wrestlers in the world, Crusade would have actually defeated me instead of tossing me out and pinning Christy Chase.  Unfortunately for him, that isn’t the case as he fluked his way to victory yet again.”

Alexander’s eyes brighten as he holds up a finger.

Alexander Conway: “And that brings me to another section of Crusade’s ludicrous claims.  Crusade claims that The Church only fell to Excellence Inc. by a fluke, but there is no fluke to be had.  We crushed you Crusade – we crushed you and your little pet Dylan, too.  You two even tried to get a third man involved because two wasn’t enough to get the job done; TMOM and I don’t require that kind of additional aid to win our battles.  As for your accusations of me hiding behind The Morbidly Obese Man, I invite you to try and prove that as true.  I implore you to man up and take me on in a singles match so that I can show you just how foolish you are being.  Do you enjoy playing the part of the impotent child?  At every opportunity, you seem to only want to complain and cause trouble until you get your way and actually manage to make yourself feel like something important.  You can take your false sense of validation, because that’s the only kind of validation that you are going to get.  It wouldn’t take too much effort for me to show you that you simply can’t get things done without your acolytes helping you or without you picking at the scraps left from someone else’s work.”

Pushing himself off of the wall, Alexander steps closer to the camera.

Alexander Conway: “While tonight I would adore showing you how futile your career is in a one on one scenario, I am afraid I will have to just settle for kicking your entire group’s collective ass.  Tonight Crusade, The Church will fall for a second time.  And after that, you will fall.  You can’t escape the cold grasp of fate Crusade…no one can.”

Turning away from the camera, Conway signals that he is done with this promo as he walks to the arena entrance.






The scene opens with the LLP Light heavyweight championship. Crusade can be seen in the back ground, simply letting the title take it's place in the center of the frame. After a moment Crusade puts his hand to his ear.

Crusade: "Do you hear that? It is the beautiful sound of a has been complaining about his inability to get the job done. I captured the championship in the center of your screen last week, and already Conway has his excuse. His reasoning behind his loss in an attempt to make himself feel better about himself. I must agree with you though Conway. I won because of you. You were so amazingly foolish and stupid that you let your eyes off the prize! I won, because you were an idiot and I took advantage of your idiocy. Of course you do not see things this way."

Crusade: "I'm not even going to bother talking about your hypocrisy in calling my victory a fluke. I will love to see what kind of excuse you make when I break your arms in our eventually one on one match. Troy would be an impudent fool to not book it and you know it. I'm sure it would be more entertaining than watch the nobodies wrestling for the world championship."

Crusade:"However this night is not about a singles match is it? It's about Excellence Inc and friend against my congregation! I'm not foolish. I know that no matter who wins tonight, the victor will be pointless. You will still try to win my championship, and we will take yours away from you. Tonight's match is simply going to be a showcase of dominance. Myself, Dylan Thompson, and the mighty Shadow Callahan will run directly through the three of you. Try as you might, you will not be able to crush my congregation under your boot heels as if we were nothing but a bug! You know this as well as everyone else in this company. My advice to you would be to simply save yourself the trouble and forfeit while you have the chance to save yourself from embarrassment."

Crusade pushes his hair out of his face.

Crusade: "As for you, Johnny Fortune, I have you idea why you are even a part of this contest. Your inability to do anything other than nip at the heels of this Church has shown itself quite obvious in recent weeks. Defeating you is the same as crushing a bug. A waste of time and effort, for every time you squash a bug, a new one will soon take it's place. So enjoy your time in the spotlight Fortune, it will only last so long. If you know whats good for you, stay out of my way tonight. For while crushing you is pointless, I happen to take a liking in torturing poor defenseless creatures like yourself. Now if you will excuse me, I have some business to take care of. Amen."

Crusade then takes his title from it's place on the table, smacking the camera off the table. Before the screen blackens, you can hear Crusades demented chuckling as he leaves the trailer.




VS

Camerella Videoh VS Vera

Jim Jackson: "We kick off tonight's festivities with a battle between 2 of LLP's leading ladies, Camerella Videoh and Vera. These girls have battled many a time here in LLP and they know each other quite well at this point"

Mick Mooney: "Well they are women. To be fair, they aren't as good in the ring as men but they are good to look at"

Jim Jackson: "Quite a sexist opinion you've got there."

Mick Mooney: "Not opinion, Fact!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first weighing in at 131 pounds and standing in at 4 feet 11 inches tall, hailing from New York, New York... CAMERELLA VIDEOH!"

Green lights flash in the big top as "Looks That Kill" by Motley Crüe plays. Cam awkwardly walks toward the ring as her expert video plays in the background. She steps into the ring and cowers in her corner before shaking her head and looking out at the crowd."

Jasmine Lee: "And her opponent, standing in at 6 feet 7 inches tall and weighing in at 224 pounds, hailing from Kiev, Ukraine... VERA!"

Mozart's "Requiem" starts playing on the loud speakers as the lights slowly grow dim until total darkness envelopes the big top. A sole spotlight focuses where the curtain parts as the figure of a very tall and large framed woman steps out from the darkness. A look of blood lust is etched on her face as she makes her way into the ring much to the awe and fear of the audience in attendance.

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this contest is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE ACTION BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Vera has already begun this match with a series of strikes before the ref has even rung the bell"

Mick Mooney: "Well its rung now and the ref doesn't really look like he gives a shit about the strikes before the bell"

Jim Jackson: "Vera hits a modified body slam on Videoh and hooks the leg"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two!"

Mick Mooney: "A kickout at 2 and just to correct you there Jim, it was a michinoku driver"

Jim Jackson: "My mistake, Vera takes a leap into the air and fails to connect with the elbow drop"

Mick Mooney: "She was trying to drive the point of the elbow right into the chest and heart area of Camerella"

Jim Jackson: "Camerella hits a leg sweep seemingly out of nowhere"

Mick Mooney: "Where exactly is nowhere? Things appear from there as if its a rip in the time space continuum"

Jim Jackson: "Where is nowhere?"

Mick Mooney: "I mean is it a busy city, deserted wasteland, ghost town, medieval castle, what?"

Jim Jackson: "That is one of the stupidest questions you have ever asked. Now back to the match and Videoh connects with a flying elbow"

Mick Mooney: "You never answered my question"

Jim Jackson: "Vera strikes fast and hard with that right hand, staggering Camerella on her feet"

Mick Mooney: "Why don't you love me?"

Jim Jackson: "She is moving in for the kill! Vera Irish whips Videoh to the ropes where in she then runs perpendicularly and bouncing back from the adjacent ropes. Just as her Camerella bounces back and runs to the middle of the ring, Vera goes low and spears the opponent from the side taking her Videoh down with the Cross Javelin."

Mick Mooney: "Pin!!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match via pinfall... VERA!"

Jim Jackson: "Vera has defeated Camerella in an impressive showing here tonight"

Mick Mooney: "No it wasn't"

Jim Jackson: "Care to elaborate on that statement"

Mick Mooney: "Look at them! Vera is like 2 feet bigger than Camerella! Of course she was going down. A nerdy girl with a camera against a beast of a woman in Vera"

Jim Jackson: "But Camerella did show she had heart in this match"

Mick Mooney: "Yeah when she got it speared right out of here chest with that spear"

Jim Jackson: "Wait a minute! What is Vera doing?"

Mick Mooney: "She slid out of the ring and got a steel chair. This is going to be brutal"

Jim Jackson: "Oh No! Camerella is about to make it to her feet and doesn't know what's waiting behind her"

Mick Mooney: "She's Behind you! You know if they listen to me in the movies, they would be finished faster"

SMASH!!!!

Jim Jackson: "She might have bent that chair around her head with that shot. There was no need for this! The match was already over!"

Mick Mooney: "It's called hammering a lesson into them and I think Camerella might have just got it"

Jim Jackson: "Paramedics are checking on the condition of Camerella Videoh. She might have a concussion after the last match but at least they got Vera out of the ring before she does anything else reckless"


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PostSubject: Re: Banzai Ultimo 09/30/2012   Wed Nov 25, 2015 7:59 am



As Johnny Fortune walks through the backstage of LLP’s big top, he is suddenly stopped by two men stepping out of the shadows.  These men are Fortune’s tag team partners for tonight, Alexander Conway and The Morbidly Obese Man, the team of Excellence Inc.

Alexander Conway: “Fortune, Fortune, Fortune, you’re jus the guy we’ve been waiting for.  For whatever inconceivable reason, Marcus Troy has decided to partner us up with you to take on The Church here tonight.  Now, let’s make something very clear right now, neither The Morbidly Obese Man nor I like you.  In fact, we think very little of you and even less of your skills.  If we had our way, you wouldn’t be teaming with us tonight.  You are actually very close to the bottom of people we’d want as partners.  Heck, I think Christy Chase would be a better partner than you, and TMOM and I would actually feel good about ourselves for finally showing that girl what having real tag team partners feels like.  But no, instead, we are stuck with your ugly mug.  However, we do have a common goal here tonight.  While we may be forced to work with you, you do have some good sense as you are an enemy of our enemy.  The enemy of our enemy is our friend…for now.”

Alexander steps closer to Fortune to better emphasize his words.

Alexander Conway: “So let’s cut straight to the point.  The Morbidly Obese Man and I don’t care what The Church has done to you, and you probably don’t care what our problems are with them either.  Tonight, we all have a chance for some revenge and a chance to embarrass The Church, and I suggest we take it.  While we wouldn’t give a crap about you on any other day of the week, tonight you will have us watching your back.  I trust that you won’t screw this up for us, Fortune, because as far as we’re concerned, you are the third wheel here.  If you don’t agree with us, then prove us wrong in that ring, but don’t get in our way or cost us this match, got it?  It’s high time The Church got its scheduled ass-kicking, and we’re the misfit team that Troy has decided to let do it.”

Putting a hand on Fortune’s shoulder, Alexander continues to speak.

Alexander Conway: “So stick with us kid, don’t do anything stupid, and we’ll come out of this match a whole hell of a lot better than The Church will.  And who knows, you may just learn something from two of the best wrestlers in this business.”

With a coy smile, Alexander takes his hand off of Fortune’s shoulder and takes a step back.  Alexander gives The Morbidly Obese Man a look the camera can't quite catch before hopping up onto some nearby boxes and beginning to tape his wrists.


Fortune licks the inside of his lip. Hops on some boxes to the left of Conway and puts his right arm around his shoulder.

Johnny Fortune: "Oh is another tag team entering the match? Because I know there's no way you're seriously talking about yourself and Jabba over there. Now you're right I don't like you and I don't care what problems you have with the Church, in fact I think the Church could mop the floor with you. Just let it be known I think even less of a man so arrogant to call himself the best when I can name multiple people in this organization who would destroy them. So if you decide for whatever to screw with me tonight you will be going down faster than women on me, oh I'm sorry I forgot your buddy may not understand me. What I'm saying is that if tonight you two do anything to piss me off tonight I'll drive your heads to the ground and make sure they bring out the stretchers, a triple wide for your friend. See you in the ring."

Fortune Smiles at Conway and hops off of the boxes and walks away from Excellence Inc.


The Morbidly Obese Man:  "Someone should teach that boy some manners..."

The big wrestler frowns heavily as he looks at Johnny Fortune walking away...

The Morbidly Obese Man:  "Marcus Troy just put us together with a liability tonight...   Tsk...  Maybe we can pound some sense into that boy after we WIN against The Church again tonight..."

The Morbidly Obese Man grabs a sandwich from a  backstagehand passing by and stuffs it into his mouth...

Backstagehand:  "Hey that's mine....  Uh...  Nevermind..."

Cowered by the size and glare of the gigantic wrestler, the backstagehand hurriedly scurries away.

The Morbidly Obese Man:  "Well, let's think of it as a challenge then Conway...  Dragging along excess baggage while we fight against three losers...  Let us show them why we are the LLP Tag Team Champions."

A grin spreads across The Morbidly Obese Man's face as the scene fades to black.






The scene opens to the locker room. The DDTKID sits on the bench tying his boots. His face painted as a Blood Red Skull. He finishes with his boots, cracks a smile and looks into the camera.

"Darkside" Dylan Thompson: "Freedom comes at a price. The only time you're ever truly free is when you're taking a dirt nap 6 feet under. Human Crimson traded everyday like currency. The lost soul of man being forced to work everyday of their life. Always pursuing something out of their grasp. Alexander Conway and The Morbidly obese man. Now I was the one to get pin in our tag team match, Our little dance if you will. I slipped up maybe I underestimated you two. However it was I can only blame myself for that loss."

Dylan Grabs his kendo stick and uses it to lean forward on. His face changing to a disheartened frown.

"Darkside" Dylan Thompson: "That was technically My first big loss in this company and it's accompanied by the bitterness of the fact that if I hadn't messed up the church would have the tag team titles. The win last against Fortune is almost rendered pointless. you see I have a goal. We may not be able to win the titles this week but I get a chance for redemption. I have the chance to give Conway and the obese man a loss and a chance to kick Mr Fortune in the head which is just icing on the cake.  I may have lost but I'm moving forward. This week 3 on 3 it's going to be Armageddon. All my resentment for the past and anger of the present is going to explode like a bomb and when the dust clears The Church will be the sole survivors. Watch out because I'm coming for you and I'm going to show you what it's like to be NEGATIVE."

Dylan Laughs to himself a little and starts to whistle to himself as the feed fades to black.




VS

Taufik VS Yuki Monotomo

Jim Jackson:  "And next tonight, we shall have Taufik facing Yuki Monotomo."

Mick Mooney:  "Oh goody, two losers facing each other tongiht...  Oh joy!"

Jasmine Lee:  "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall!  Introducing first, standing at 6 feet 4 inches tall and weighing in at 236 pounds, hailing from Singapore...  TAUFIK!"

Taufik makes his way to the ring to little fanfare.

Jasmine Lee:  "And his opponent tonight, standing at 6 feet 11 inches tall and weighing in at 250 pounds, hailing from Tokyo, Japan...  YUKI MONOTOMO!"

"Shinigami" by Machinae Supremacy echoes throughout the arena. Fog rolls down the ramp as ice blue lasers fly to the beat of the music. Yuki Monotomo walks slowly toward the ring, taking time to flirt with a few female fans. After entering the ring, he blows a few kisses at some female fans from each ring corner.

Jasmine Lee:  "The referee for this contest is Jack B. Quick.  LET THE ACTION BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson:  "There's the bell!  Both wrestlers circle each other and engages...  It's a grappling match from the start!  Yuki Monotomo gets the upperhand and sends Taufik to the ropes with an Irish whip.  Monotomo misses the clothesline!  Taufik bounces back...  Monotomo stumbles on his own foot as he spins around..."

KA-BONK!

Mick Mooney:  "OH!  Both wrestlers knock their heads together!  They both stumble backwards....  THEY BOTH FELL OVER THE TOP ROPE AND LANDS ON THEIR HEADS OUTSIDE!"

Jim Jackson:  "They are both knocked out!  The ringside medics check up on them...  It looks like both men are not able to continue the match!"

Jasmine Lee:  "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest has been declared a DRAW due to double knockout!"

Mick Mooney:  "See?  What did I tell you?  Two losers!"






A loud, eerie chanting begins to chime through the big house before The Beast (Evangelion 2.0 soundtrack) begins to play. After a moment Crusade shambles out onto the ring ramp, his matted hair nearly covering his face as he makes his way to the ring. The zealot is wearing a plain blue jean shorts along with wrestling boots, he is bare chested, showing off the tattoo of a cross on his chest. However, he now sports his Light Heavyweight championship around his waist. Once near the ring he rolls in, quickly making his way to the center of the ring with a mic in his hand.

Crusade: "Well the time has come. I would like to formally invite you out to the ring Conway. Let's have a nice one on one chat before my congregation comes down upon you with the wrath of the heavens! Since you wanted me in a ring by myself so badly, I thought I would make the first move!"

Crusade lowers his microphone, waiting in the center of the ring to see if his invitation will be taken up.


After a few moments delay, Alexander Conway steps out onto the entrance ramp with a microphone in hand.  Turning towards the crowd, Conway gestures at the ring.

Alexander Conway: “And there he is, Ladies and Gentlemen, in his full glory, our very own delusional flop!”

With a usual look of annoyance, Alexander walks down to the ring and slides in before walking up to Crusade and looking over his adversary.

Alexander Conway: “It’s good to see that you took so much time primping yourself for this crowd.  I’m sure they appreciate it, too.”

Looking a little bit bored after insulting Crusade, Conway continues to let Crusade know how little he wants to be out here talking with him.

Alexander Conway: “I see you’ve set aside this special time to once again humiliate yourself in public, so what do you really want?  Are you going to waste my time with trivialities and your own misconceptions about your skill, or are you going to actually say something significant while we’re both out here?  If you are just going to decay my time, then I’ll go back to doing things of actual value.  I regret to say that I simply don’t have a low enough I.Q. to enjoy your company in any kind of non-wrestling capacity.”


Crusade chuckles a little.

Crusade: "I am terribly sorry to have wasted your time tonight good sir, but I simply wanted to get a chance to speak with you face to face at last before our confrontation tonight. We have done far to much speaking via video tape as of late and I simply wanted to tell you right now to your very face that I am going to do my very best to embarrass you tonight. I don't think your poor ego can take much more of a beating from my establishment to be quite honest with you. How foolish could you possible be to talk of my low I.Q when you cannot even manage to check your opponent before making a pin?"

Crusade smiles and pats the title around his waist.

Crusade: "Nevertheless, tonight you will be put through a true test. It shall separate myself and my Church from the rest of you pests. But to be honest I must digress, for you are a person I am beginning to truly detest. The Church has left our nest. You cannot stop us. Soon we shall hold every belt in this company, it is an inevitable must. Good luck against us tonight Conway, because you are running out of time. Once I am finished with you, no one will even want to pay you even a simple dime!"

Crusade begins to walk out of the ring with his mic in hand, talking as he heads up the ramp.

Crusade: "When you mess with a killer like myself he shall more than likely cut your throat and present it to the masses. Tonight is just another one of the tests that my congregation always passes. If you wish to stand in my way let this simple rhyme be your warning. Continue to get under my skin and i swear...you will not live to see the morning. Amen."

Crusade drops the mic after finishing his twisted rhyme, leaving Conway in the ring alone, not actually caring what his reply might be.


Conway walks over to the turnbuckle and leans against, looking to the crowd with an exasperated expression.  After looking at them for a moment, Alexander lets out a sigh before bringing his microphone back up to his lips.

Alexander Conway: “He just doesn’t get it.  It’s really quite pitiful when one so wretched can’t see his place.  I openly mock that vulgar little man week after week and yet all he can do is get truculent with me.  Was I not condescending enough?  Am I being too vague in my method?  He called me out here and I disrespected him to his face, and yet he still just fails to grasp what I am trying to communicate to him.”

Alexander turns and leans against the rope as he continues to talk to the audience.

Alexander Conway: “It shouldn’t take a man of much intellect to see that Crusade is not a threat, he’s a laughable joke.  Does it look like I am apprehensive about getting into the ring with him?  Does he really believe that he can injure me physically, let alone mentally?  Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to be translucent for a moment and say that Crusade is nothing more than a parasitic protozoan.  The stench of this man’s failures, amplified by his unavailing words, leaves no question as to why he has dwelled in obscurity for so long.  Before he decided to utilize numbers to antagonize others, what good was he?  Who actually cared about the cantankerous oaf?  I’ll save you the trouble of asking around - no one cared about him.”

Pushing himself away from the ropes, Alexander walks to the center of the ring, now looking at the backstage and not at the audience.

Alexander Conway: “That’s why our battle tonight is not going to be glorious, it is not going to be exceptional, and it is not going to be competitive.  No, instead, it will only be one thing – expected.  There is not a path that those men can take here tonight to ensure their victory, who is to win is already known.  For when three belligerent, arrogant, foolish men get together to advance a goal, they fail.  When you are outclassed as dramatically as these three men here tonight are, you simply stand no chance at walking away with the win.  What’s more, you only wait to suffer humiliation as you fall.  This isn’t a storybook, and the weak do not triumph.  Instead, the weak are held down by superior men and tonight will be no different.  The Church will be defeated by The Morbidly Obese Man and I as we rid ourselves of the filth that has clung to us for too long.  Those three cretins, who are now trying to soil our reputations to augment their own, are only stepping closer to their own collective demise.”

Without looking back at the audience, Alexander drops the microphone he was holding onto the mat.  After flicking his hair and smirking at the crowd, Alexander steps onto the apron before dropping down to the floor and walking to the back.


"Sound Of Madness" by Shinedown starts to play as Ray Kamaura begins striding towards the ring. His seven foot frame towers over everything until he comes to Crusade. Ray Kamaura pats the belt around his waist while he says "Get out of my arena, The Champ is Here." Ray Kamaura chuckled as he continued his stride to the ring. He hops right in and gets down to business.

Ray Kamaura: "That, Ladies and Gentlemen was the second rate messiah, also known as Crusade. But that's enough with this lovers quarrel, The Champ has something he would like to address."

Ray glanced at Conway and made a motion to outside of the ring.

Ray Kamaura: "Last week, I retained my championship... FIVE TIMES. To my knowledge not even the Great Alexander Conway can say that."

The golden-clad giant stops to let his last jab at Conway sink in.

Ray Kamaura: "So, after my show of dominance I was attacked and now I have to compete in a triple threat match? Surly Troy must be losing his feeble mind! Even God's Bleed Marcus... Even YOU! Never the less I should address the challengers tonight. C4 and Alister King. I beat one for the title and the other is a washed up hack. If either of them think for a single second that I will give up my title..."

Ray Kamaura held his title above his head.

Ray Kamaura: "Then you really must be fools."


The Lights dim as you hear Fortune's voice yell "Where are all the beautiful ladies tonight" as "DANCE" By Justice plays Fortune comes out holding a microphone and stops at the top of the ramp. He looks at Ray and then looks behind him as if looking to Conway and Crusade.

Johnny Fortune: "Well looks I'm a little late to the party, everybody I wanted to talk to is gone. Of course I am left out here with the LLP champion but eh you're mediocre at best. I mean come on Crusade's already whooped you before so tonight when I take him off of his high horse there wouldn't really be any point in even dealing with you.

Fortune shrugs


Johnny Fortune: "Well it seems that I have better things to do with my time then waste it on filth like you. So, I will see all of you beautiful ladies later tonight when the poorly named Excellence Inc. and I dismantle the Church, Peace.".

Fortune Throws up the peace sign and goes to the back.


Jesters of the Moon plays over the PA as Desire rides down the ramp on a small red Tricycle. She honks a novelty horn then enters the ring.

Desire Blackrose: "Why look at us here. HAHAHA this ring is full of clowns. HAHAHA."

Desire Blackrose: "Now I have to say something smells fishy here and it's not the pink haired guy or that fatty backstage. Who might I add stole my bag of cheetos. Here there was a somewhat serious. well as serious as Crusade and Conway get Ripping into each other and then they left. And then Ray came out and spoke gibberish or at least I assume he went on some sort of tangent when I was playing with some animal crackers."

Desire Pulls a cracker shaped like a lion out of her other pocket and pretends to make to walk in to the air.

Desire Blackrose: "Rawr. Hehe but then Fortune came out to trash the champion who had waited for everyone else to leave. So effectively the ring went from 2 to 0 to 1 to 2 but then fortune started walking backstage so it was 1 then I came out and I'm pretty sure I'm a person so that would be 2 though maybe I just think I'm a person but I'm really a flamingo and in this ring right now is the world champ, a pinked haired guy at the top of the ramp flamingo. Sqawk. anyways so there we are 3 things that don't belong standing here clowning around and yet I wonder why I'm not taking seriously. Hehehe."

Desire jingles the bells on her hat then begins to speak again.

Desire Blackrose: "You all are too serious. That's boring, You're boring. YOU GUYS ARE BORING THIS CROWD. Stop that. stop being boring. get out maybe do something productive. Like sing you guys should go backstage right now and sing."

Desire walks over to ray and starts singing clearly trying to impersonate him

Desire Blackrose: "I'm a giant champion hear me shout. I've got a fish in my pants it's a trout.  if you don't pay attention to me then I'll pout. So get yourself over and knock me out"  (~ sung like I'm a little tea pot)

Desire Blackrose: "Hehehehe Well now that I've made everyone smile I bid farewell.  My time here was rather swell. Now Ray get the f*ck out and go to hell.


Desire gets out of the ring and goes back on the tricycle riding away and laughing to herself about her pretty much pointless appearance out here .




VS

Excellence, Inc. & Johnny Fortune VS The Church

Jim Jackson:  "And now we have the first of our co-main events of the evening, a six man tag team match, Excellence, Inc. with Johnny Fortune shall be facing The Church!"

Mick Mooney:  "That's right...  The Church has attacked both Excellence, Inc. and Fortune in different occasions. The question is if Excellence, Inc. and Fortune can get along.

Jasmine Lee:  "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a 3 versus 3 tag team match scheduled for one fall!  Introducing the first team, EXCELLENCE, INC. AND JOHNNY FORTUNE!"

"Junkies for Fame" by Shinedown blasts over the arena as Alexander Conway steps out from the backstage of LLP. He stops on the aisle and holds a fist into the air as a series of pyrotechnics explode behind him. Once they subside, Conway pulls his vest off and tosses it onto the ground as he walks to the ring.

THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!

"Weird Al" Yankovic's "Eat It" starts blasting from from the speakers and the earth reverberated and shook as the monstrosity known as The Morbidly Obese Man stepped out from behind the curtains and makes his way into the ring.

The lights dim as you hear Fortune's voice yell "Where are all the beautiful ladies tonight?!" as "DANCE" By Justice plays Fortune comes out holding a bouquet of roses and as he walks towards the ring begins handing them out to women in the audience. He enters the ring climbs to the second turnbuckle and blows kisses to women in the audience.


Jasmine Lee:  "Introducing their opponents for the evening..  THE CHURCH!"

A loud, eerie chanting begins to chime through the big house before The Beast (Evangelion 2.0 soundtrack) begins to play. After a moment Crusade shambles out onto the ring ramp, his matted hair nearly covering his face as he makes his way to the ring. The zealot is wearing a plain blue jean shorts along with wrestling boots, he is bare chested, showing off the tattoo of a cross on his chest. However, he now sports his Light Heavyweight championship around his waist. Once near the ring he rolls in, quickly making his way to the back end of the ring to await the start of the match after unstrapping his title from his waist.

"Suicide Messiah" by Black Label Society begins to blast through the arena. Two beautiful women (one in black, the other in white) walk out and stand on the entrance ramp. They move to the edge of the entrance ramp as Shadow Callahan makes his way out wearing sunglasses and a leather trench coat. Shadow does not raise his head and stands just in front of the two women. He stretches his arm open handedly in the gesture of a crucifix before lowering his arms. He removes his trench coat and hands it to the woman in black, then removes his sunglasses and hands them to the woman in white. The two women proceed to the backstage area as Shadow continues his way to the ring. He rolls into the ring, lowers his head and stretches his arms to resemble a cross. He then goes and stands at a neutral corner.

Crimson from the streetfighter alpha 3 OST blares on the P.A as the light darkens and fog appears suddenly the lights shine upon the DDTKID wearing a black jacket and red bandana, his back turned holding a kendo stick over his shoulder, He turns around and cracks a smile as he begins walking slowly to the ring. He stops in the middle of the ramp and raises the hand holding the cane. the crowd boos as he just smiles he continues forward and climbs on the side of the apron. He turns his head slowly smiling once more before entering the ring he climbs the turnbuckle lifts the hand with the kendo stick one more time before jumping down, He places down the kendo stick and awaits for the beginning of the match.


Jasmine Lee:  "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble!  LET THE ACTION BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson:  "It's Alexander Conway and Shadow Callahan starting off for their respective teams...  Standing leg lariat by Alexander Conway on Callahan. Spin kick by Alexander Conway to the face. Tag between Alexander Conway and Johnny Fortune."

Mick Mooney:  "Let's see if Fortune will give good fortune to Excellence, Inc."

Jim Jackson:  "Fortune uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Spinning bulldog in the corner, Callahan is down. Cover!"

Jack B. Nimble:  "One!  Two..."

Mick Mooney:  "Only a two count there dude.  Fortune tags out to The Morbidly Obese Man."

Jim Jackson:  "Irish whip by The Morbidly Obese Man followed by a big clothesline downs Shadow Callahan.  Callahan struggles to his feet...  Big knee by TMOM!  Callahan with a low blow!"

Mick Mooney:  "Ooh!  Bummer man, that has got to hurt."

Jim Jackson:  "The Morbidly Obese Man goes down with a leg trip!  Big elbow drop from the second rope by Shadow Callahan!  Tag between Callahan and "Darkside" Dylan Thompson.  Flying elbow from The DDTKID.  Tornado DDT from The DDTKID and TMOM gets planted.  Cover!"

Jack B. Nimble:  "One!  Two..."

Mick Mooney:  "Only a two count there...  The DDTKID needs to put on more juice to stop TMOM."

Jim Jackson:  "Here comes "Darkside" Dylan Thompson with a a basement dropkick to the knee.  Tag to Crusade.  Crusade with a series of leg kicks stops the giant.  Headlock by Crusade...   The Morbidly Obese Man fights out of a grapple.  Big chop floors Crusade. Tag between The Morbidly Obese Man and Alexander Conway. Hard back suplex on Crusade.  Conway grabs Crusade...  Crusade reverses!  Snap suplex on Conway!"

Mick Mooney:  "Crusade goes for a tag!  Callahan enters!"

Jim Jackson:  "Callahan hits a right hand. Conway kicks Shadow Callahan in the gut to reverse the momentum. Alexander Conway has Shadow Callahan down on the canvas. Alexander Conway crosses the arms of Shadow Callahan before swinging his legs over the crossed arms while falling onto his back. Forming an "X" shape with his legs, Alexander Conway begins pushing them against Shadow Callahan's neck while also pulling on the arms to maximize the pressure...  It's the Signum Victoriae!  The DDTKID jumps in but Johnny Fortune anticipates it and takes him out with a spear!  Crusade leaps in to help Callahan but TMOM is there like brick wall stopping Crusade!  Callahan is in pain..."

Mick Mooney:  "HE TAPS!  CALLAHAN TAPS!"

Jasmine Lee:  "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via submission, the team of EXCELLENCE, INC. AND JOHNNY FORTUNE!"

Jim Jackson:  "Looks like fortune did shine on the team of Excellence, Inc. and Johnny Fortune tonight...  Wait!  It's not over!  A brawl has started!"

Mick Mooney:  "WOOHOO!  It's carnage down there as all six men start brawling, security has been called in to stop the six men..."


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PostSubject: Re: Banzai Ultimo 09/30/2012   Wed Nov 25, 2015 8:00 am



The camera opens to show the parking lot, just over half filled, where a black Chevrolet Impala pulls in and parks in a reserved parking space. Allister King, who is wearing his usually leather jacket and sunglasses, also with a white cowboy hat adorned on his head, exits the vehicle with a beautiful woman. He grabs his bag, locks the car and begins to walk into the building when all of a sudden a wild interviewer appears and he must engage it in battle.

Penelope Garcia: "Allister, may I get a few words?"

The woman beside him, gives him a look. You know one of those looks women give you when you have done something bad and you have no idea why? yeah one of those looks. Allister sees this reaction and quickly goes on the offensive.

Allister King: "Hey Penelope. You remember my wife Sammie right? Doesn't see look sexy as hell?"

Allister has attempted to soothe the angered beast but it was ineffective and attempts to try again

Allister King: "Ok! Just tell me whatever it is I did. I do a shit load of stupid shit so how am I suppose to know which one of those shits have severely fucked me over on this night? huh?

Samantha King: "Look you fucking idiot, hurry up with these and lets get going."

Allister King: "Yes whatever you say."

Allister bows

Allister King: "Your majesty."

Allister raises his head only to be the recipient of a slap to the back of the head

Allister King: "Oww! That kinda hurt. Ok let's get this over and done with. Go ahead ask me any question, I am ready."

Penelope Garcia: "Tonight, You will take on Colton Charles Cai Cobb and the reigning champion Ray Kamaura in a three way hardcore match for the LLP World Title. Do you have any strategy going into this match?"

Allister is giggling

Allister King: "You said three way."

Allister continues to laugh until he sees the looks of impending doom from both ladies

Allister King: "Ahh I mean, Ok, back to the question. Any Strategy? Not really. I mean do I ever really have a strategy? or Do I simply just go out there and just be spontaneous? Ray kamaura is a big guy, I mean he is like a foot bigger than me so whats my plan? If he tries to do a powerbomb, crawl underneath his legs. I'm faster than him, as long as I keep it moving moving, just keep it moving moving, just keep it moving moving, cause I like to......move it!"

Allister seems saddened at the lack of laughs that joke received

Allister King: "And C4 is explosive like TNT in a looney tunes cartoon. I shall be the roadrunner and he will be Wile E. Coyote. I shall we constantly on the move while he is scheming for a way to defeat me but in the end it backfires like it always has in the cartoons. Well except that one episode where he actually does catch him but doesn't know where to go from there."

Allister picks up his bag which he forgot he even set down.

Allister King: "Oh and by the end of the match, one of them will be hailing the name of the king."

Allister and Samantha continues to walk into the building. Although you can't hear it, you know Allister is being scolded by his wife. Just as the enter the building the camera starts fading to black. All of a sudden, Allister runs back and stares at the camera.

Allister King: "Hail to the King baby!"

The screen completely fades to black






The scene opens with the former LLP World Champion Colton Charles Cai Cobb standing a dimly lit area backstage.  His hair unkempt and in his hand, a deadly sledgehammer.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb:  "Tonight two people shall be reminded of pain...  Pain that will resonate through their bones, their muscle, their very existence...  Tonight I shall rise again to claim what is rightfully mine, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, THE LLP WORLD TITLE!  For too long I have been separated from my property and it is time that it is returned to it's rightful owner..."

The arrogant wrestler unconsciously flips the sledgehammer around like it was weightless.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb:  "No rules, no limitations...  Tonight's hardcore match is the perfect avenue for my return to greatness.  Allister King and Ray Kamaura...  Two jokes...  Two unfortunate souls...  Two LOSERS who shall be nothing but a mass of broken bones and bloody messes when the bell rings and the rightful champ is restored to glory in the squared circle tonight."

With that, the former champion swings the sledgehammer towards the camera and everything turns to static before cutting to black.




LUCHA LIBRE PURORESU WORLD TITLE MATCH


VSVS

Allister King VS Colton Charles Cai Cobb VS Ray Kamaura

Jim Jackson:  "And we have next the co-main event and final match of the evening...  A three-way hardcore match for the LLP World Heavyweight title!"

Mick Mooney:  "That's right!  This will be an awesome awesome match, look at all the stuff littered inside and outside the ring!"

Jasmine Lee:  "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a three-way hardcore match scheduled for one fall and is for the LLP World Heavyweight Title!  Introducing first, standing in at 7 feet 1 inch tall and weighing in at 350 pounds, hailing from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, he is the current and reigning LLP World Heavyweight Champion...  RAY KAM..."

Jim Jackson:  "What the?!  Ray Kamaura just stumbles out from the back with Colton Charles Cai Cobb slamming his sides with a sledgehammer!  C4 with a vicious unfair ambush!  Wait!  Now Allister King comes out with a chair and hits both C4 and Kamaura on the head!  The referee calls for the bell to start the match!"

Mick Mooney:  "Ooh, this match looks promising...  Allister King is going ballistic with that chair on both Kamaura and C4!  That chair now looks like a pretzel!"

Jim Jackson:  "Ray Kamaura stumbles into the ring...  Allister King raises the chair ready to strike at Colton Charles Cai Cobb...  C4 dodges and kicks King in the gut...  Irish whip right into the steel steps and King is down!  C4 climbs up to the ring apron...  Kamaura hits him with a big right and C4 falls outside!  The champ retrieves a baseball bat from the weapons scattered inside the ring...  Oh!  a bat to the ribs stops King cold!"

Mick Mooney:  "C4 also gets clobbered with the bat!  Not even 5 minutes and the action is already heating up!"

Jim Jackson:  "Ray Kamaura raises the bat he's going for Colton Charles Cai Cobb's head...  C4 dodges and Kamaura breaks the bat on the ringpost!  Neckbreaker by C4 on the champ makes him stumble right into Allister King who drills his head into the ground with a DDT!  C4 smashes into King with a STOP sign!  C4 picks up an empty bottle of beer...  He smashes it into Kamaura's head breaking the bottle!  Kamaura is busted open!"

Mick Mooney:  "C4 now has a broken beer bottle, a deadly weapon with sharp edges!  AND HE USES IT ON KING!   KING HAS A DEEP GASH ON HIS CHEST!"

Jim Jackson:  "Allister King with ignores the blood from his chest and charges towards Colton Charles Cai Cobb...  A SPEAR!  C4 is down!  Allister King pulls out a table from under the ring and sets it up...  He turns around...  Ray Kamaura grabs him by the throat!  Chokeslam into the table he set up!  C4 struggles to his feet...  Kamaura grabs him...  POWERBOMB RIGHT INTO KING!"

Mick Mooney:  "Both challengers are down, the champ goes for a double pin!"

Jack B. Quick:  "One!  Two..."

Jim Jackson:  "Both men get a shoulder up at two...  Ray Kamaura picks Colton Charles Cai Cobb up and rams him shoulder first into the steel ring post!  He turns around...  Allister King  smashes into his face with a vicious elbow!  Irish whip by King sends Kamaura into the steel barricade!  King picks up another item...  It's a staple gun!  King starts using the staple gun on Kamaura's back!"

Mick Mooney:  "King staples a smiley face on Kamaura's back!  CLASSIC!  Uh-oh, here comes C4...  King doesn't see him!"

Jim Jackson:  "Colton Charles Cai Cobb rams into Allister King with a shopping cart!  He rams Ray Kamaura with the same cart again and again until the champ is not moving!   C4 focuses his attention on King who is getting up again...  This time C4 has picked up a trash can...  He puts the trash can on King!  Half of King's body is in the steel trash can!  C4 grabs a chair and brutally attacks the trash can!  King helpless to stop him!  King is down!"

Mick Mooney:  "C4 the only man who is still not bleeding in this match...  He looks at King...  Looks like he signalling for the RDX!  He's gonna make King submit!"

Jim Jackson:  "Colton Charles Cai Cobb knocks his opponent down and sits on his opponent's back. Grabbing both his opponent's arms, Colton Charles Cai Cobb pulls them across his opponents neck in a "X" until his opponent passes out executing an excruciating RDX!  King is trapped with nowhere to go!  Wait!  Here comes the champ with a big boot into C4's head!  C4 is down!  Ray Kamaura kicks Colton Charles Cai Cobb in the gut causing him to double over, puts his right shoulder to the back of Colton Charles Cai Cobb's neck, grabs the back of their legs and quickly lifts them up. Ray Kamaura holds the pose for a few seconds and then falls onto his butt, crushing Colton Charles Cai Cobb's neck on his shoulder!  It's The End Game!  Kamaura for the pin!"

Jack B. Quick:  "One!  Two!  Thr..."

Mick Mooney:  "King for the save!  I thought Kamaura had it there...  Looks like I'm wrong...  King grabs a steel pipe and is choking Kamaura from behind!  Can Kamaura keep conscious?"

Jim Jackson:  "Colton Charles Cai Cobb gets back up...  Allister King sees him and releases the champ from the strangle hold!  King swings the steel pipe...  Oh!  King misses!  C4 counters with kick to the gut and a brainbuster!  King is down!  C4 grabs some camera wires and starts wrapping it around King's throat!  He's choking King out!"

Mick Mooney:  "The champ is shaking the cobwebs off... He grabs a steel chair...  He's swings it at C4...  C4 ducks and Kamaura hits King instead!  King is down!"

Jim Jackson:  "Colton Charles Cai Cobb with some brutal rights sends Ray Kamaura stumbling into the steel steps...  He pulls the champ up into the steel steps...  Colton Charles Cai Cobb grabs his opponent's waist and hoists his opponent up onto his shoulder in an overhead gutwrench backbreaker rack. He then sits down and simultaneously flips the opponent forwards and downwards, slamming his opponent down to the ground face-first to one side executing an EXPLOSIVE GROUND ZERO RIGHT INTO THE STEEL STEPS!  Kamaura is twitching!  C4 for the cover...  No!  Allister King turns a flat iron into a projectile and it finds it's target, C4's head!  C4 is busted open and blood splatters as he falls into the steel railings!  Allister King crawls for the cover on Kamaura who is still down after C4's explosive finisher..."

Jack B. Quick:  "One!  Two!  Three!"

Jasmine Lee:  "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall and NEW LLP WORLD CHAMPION...  ALLISTER KING!"

Jim Jackson:  "NEW CHAMP!  NEW CHAMP!  WE HAVE A NEW CHAMP!"

Mick Mooney:  "Oh man I didn't see that one coming...  C4 probably didn't either...  Allister King celebrates his win inside the ring.  What a main event."




Jim Jackson:  "The evening ends with Allister King celebrating his win and his reign as the new LLP World Champion, yet I know the title scene will not be a quiet one...  Ray Kamaura and Colton Charles Cai Cobb shall not remain silent while King holds the title."

Mick Mooney:  "C4 should have won that one, if not for that flying flat iron.  Who knew Allister could be that good of a shot?"

Jim Jackson:  "True, but these are how unpredictable wrestling is.  It seems we are out of time tonight so it's time to bid farewell...  Until next time...  Good night and good fight!"


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PostSubject: Re: Banzai Ultimo 09/30/2012   

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