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 Lucha Loco 11/20/2011

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The Morbidly Obese Man
The Morbidly Obese Man

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PostSubject: Lucha Loco 11/20/2011   Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:37 am

Jim Jackson: "Good evening folks and welcome again to another night of Lucha Loco. As you all see, we are one week away from the PPV and what a show we have tonight for all of you watching."

Brad Blood: "You got that right. We have a great show in store for everyone, I mean we always do, never do we give out crappy shows... Except if we have a show which involves poop..."

Jim Jackson: "Well we should get the show rolling now... I'm sure everyone is excited to see what surprises we have for them tonight. So without further ado, LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

The scene started with Taufik walking around the street thinking about his current losing streak that he’s having, and as he is walking around thinking of ways to end it when he realized someone who dresses casually with a bunch of ladies walking behind him, and as he turns back the pimp saw Taufik and went pale as if he saw a ghost. Taufik noticing the pimp's reaction spoke first.

Taufik:"Yes mister? How may I help you?"

???: "How can you forget me? This is your dad speaking. I know I've been seeing you on the television for so long and now you that amnesia going on. Listen, I'm sorry I didn't visit you when you got hospitalized but things were... Busy then. Come son let's go to my place."

Taufik thought about it for a few moment but then Taufik asked him a question.

Taufik: "Listen to me mister I don't know why you're claiming to be my father, and if you are, what proof do you have?"

Taufik's Dad: "I knew you would say that. Just come over to my place, and I'll tell you everything.

Taufik then agrees and follows the person claiming as his dad and soon they arrive at a strip bar. Taufik is really confused and shocked at the sight of the establishment. His dad enters and beckons him to follow, then asks him to sit in the VIP Corner as he has something to attend to. While waiting, two ladies dressed in nothing but G-strings enters the room. They were all over Taufik in an instant and soon Taufik is experiencing feelings he never had before. Confused Taufik tries to stop the girls but one of them whispered in his ears that it was okay and just it let go. The other girl then offered Taufik a Martini, Taufik didn't take it at first, but then she sips the Martini and kissed Taufik slowly slipping Martini into his mouth. Taufik coughs it out at first but then the girl does it again, this time he swallows it and it seems like a door has opened in his mind. Taufik takes the Martini and drinks it down without hesitation. After few drinks later, Taufik start feeling a little tipsy, and everything went into blur for him as suddenly flashes from his lost memories start pass through his mind.

When Taufik woke up the next day in the club, he saw with the two ladies naked and beside him. Yet instead of feeling shame he felt something different. He felt that this was actually his calling, he stands and notices he is not wearing any clothes, looking around he was able to find his underwear and pants. He quickly dresses up and looks around to see his dad was at the entrance of the club with a grin.

Taufik's Dad: "So how was your night son?”

Taufik: "Dad I know I’m supposed to be angry at you for this corruption, but I don't feel like it because if being corrupted feels this good, then corrupt me more. I never knew how good Martini is until I downed them and the girls in the club? The girls were magnificent, they were beyond great and best of all they were all over me, Dad. I somehow regained my memories and now I understand why you left mom and led this kind of life... I guess I should even do this in the ring.”

Taufik's Dad: "In the ring? I don't get you.”

Taufik: "Yes in the ring dad, if you see my matches, you'd know that I’m on a road filled with loss after loss, and I’m kind of tired of it. Maybe, just maybe if I reinvent myself and bring these wonderful young ladies with me, maybe I can change myself. I know I already feel more confident... Dad, I want to be just like you.”

Taufik’s Dad looked pleased with his son request and replies to his son request.

Taufik's Dad: "That’s what I’m hoping to hear from you son. Welcome to the family business, you are now a Pimp. I will inform from some of our business associates to help you out... Now I guess we should celebrate.”

Taufik nodded his head in agreement as they went breakfast and spend the whole morning shopping for Taufik new found calling as the scene fades to black.

The ULOL Tron comes to life and we see the visage of the vice-general manager of ULOL on the big screen.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Forgive me for not heading into the ring for this announcement but my arthritis is acting up today. Now as many of you know we have some newcomers here to ULOL, aBs⊗LUte, Chase O'Brien and Crusade. Now all these three are wrestlers which fall into the lightweight division. As I believe that everyone should be given a chance at gold, so tonight I shall book a match between these three. A three-way elimination match where the winner, gets a shot at the ULOL Ligero Maximo!"

The crowd murmurs in excitement at the news.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Now I wish these three good luck tonight. This is a chance that not everyone gets so I expect that you shall give it your all."

With the announcement at end, the screen goes off leaving the crowd in eager anticipation.

The Camera opens up to show a ship sailing on a stormy night, A message shows up at the bottom of the screen saying ''Earlier this week''. A crew of what looks to have around 100 men working hard despite the storm. The camera looks up to show a jolly rogers (pirate flag) flying high. Then it lowers down and over to a door, we are guessing this is the captains quarters. The door opens and Captain Sebastian Wolf walks out.

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "Raise t' sails!! Tonight we battle t' storm!! If any o' ye don't like it, i will send you t' Davy Jones' locker personally. Understood?"

Crew: "AYE AYE CAP'N!"

Alexander Drake: "Cap'n, we got word from land, they have work ye that needs doin'."

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "What kind o' work?"

Alexander Drake: "Three men Cap'n. They need ya to take care 'o them."

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "Who be these men? 'N why I waste me many the hour sailing back for them?"

Alexander Drake: "Wee Wang, Taufik 'n Walter Tiberius Funk. They said ye gunna be paid many doubloons fer ye efforts."

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "These men aren't worth me the hour I takes to tie th' noose but th' sound 'o them doubloons be quite temptin'. Lads we set sail back to land whar ye can get ye fill 'o grub, meed 'n wrenches!!"

The crew let off a hearty shout.

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "Ye did well Drake."

Alexander Drake: "Thank ye Cap'n."

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "Keelhaul th' bastards, 'n have ye way wit' their women fer nothin' gunna stop th' Leviathan 'n its Cap'n!!"

Crew: "Aye Cap'n!"

Captain Sebastian Wolf: "Get back to work before I shoot th' lot 'o ye!!"

Wolf turns around and enters his quarters as the camera fades to black.

The scene opens in the parking lot where we see the silhouette of two wrestlers walking... As the camera pans closer, it is revealed that the two wrestlers are none other than Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi who are walking towards the building entrance.

Little Wang: "It seems we both have matches scheduled tonight... This is our first matches since we put our tag team in hiatus... I'm nervous and excited at the same time... Still, this is the best route we should take to improve ourselves... Good luck Fook Mi..."

The midget wrestler cheerfully says to his best friend as they casually walk towards to building entrance.

Nao Fook Mi nods as she adjust the shoulder strap of her gym bag.

Nao Fook Mi: "Yes you are correct my friend, this is the next step on our road to find true strength. It will be difficult but it is the road we cannot avoid if we are to improve ourselves. I also wish you luck my friend. It seems that you will be having a tougher night than me..."

Fook Mi looks at her watch...

Nao Fook Mi: "It seems that we must hurry... Your match is about to begin..."

Both wrestlers start to run as they enter the building and the scene fades to black.

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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/20/2011   Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:37 am




Jim Jackson: "What a great way to start the evening, we have a four corners match coming up next."

Brad Blood: "And what's great is one of our participants... Walter Tiberius Funk! WOO! A masked gorilla!"

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a four corners match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Capt. Sebastian Wolf!"

Alestorm's Shipwrecked begins to play throughout the arena as the scourge of the seven seas, Captain Sebastian Wolf, makes his way out to the entrance ramp. He takes out his pistol and fires it into the air as a jolly roger falls and covers the tron. He puts his pistol back into its holster before continuing down to the ring. Before he enters the ring, he removes his cutlass and begins to threaten a few of the audience members. With the cutlass still in hand, he walks up the steps and enters the ring. He climbs till one foot is on the top turnbuckle and the other is on the second rope. He raises the cutlass in the air and lets out a pirate yell. He jumps off the turnbuckle, the referee forces him to relinquish his cutlass and pistol. He hands them over and removes his hat and coat before going to his corner.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Little Wang!"

"Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor starts playing on the speakers as flashing multicolored lights starts flashing at the top of the entrance ramp as smoke rises from the floor. A small form suddenly bounces out of the entrance tunnel and through the smoke which is slowly clearing. The crowd looks wide-eyed at the small midget standing on top of the entrance ramp wearing stilts with both arms in the air waving a victory sign with his fingers. The midget runs down the ramp and scampers into the ring.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Taufik"

"The Way I Am" By Emniem started playing as Taufik walks out with a few beautiful ladies on his side as he is making his way to the ring and once he is in the ring, awaits his opponent with the ladies behind him.

Taufik: "Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for what I call "Deal It or Lose It". This is what I'm going to do and it's quite simple. I got some wonderful and fine young ladies here with me and if you accept my offer here, you can spend a night with them. You can do whatever you want with them, you can ask them to wash your clothes, do whatever you want with them just as long as you forfeit the match to me. So what do you have to say?"

Jim Jackson: "Taufik is pimping his girls for a forfeit?! What a lowlife!""

Brad Blood: "Agh! I wonder if he would pimp a girl to me..."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Walter Tiberius Funk!"

"Congo River" played on African tribal drums starts playing over the loud speakers. Through the fog amidst and along the runway a roar is heard. A shadow dashes the whole way down the runway and leaps into the ring. The shadow turns out to be... WALTER TIBERIUS FUNK, a FUNKIN' GORILLA! Walter then pounds his chest with his arms and gives out a loud roar! In the confusion, Leon Hinomoto walks calmly behind the gorilla up to the ring.

Brad Blood: "GORILLA!!!"

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell!"

Brad Blood: "FUNK IS AWESOME! Wait! The gorilla just leaped over the steel railings and... FUNK JUST MAULED A FAT GUY EATING A FROZEN CHOCO BANANA! Oh man, there's panic in the stands!"

Jim Jackson: "Everyone is distracted at the chaos! Security is coming in with tranquilizers!"

Brad Blood: "Capt. Sebastian Wolf just grabbed a tranq gun from one of the security personnel... HE SHOT LITTLE WANG! WANG GOES LIMP! WANG GOES LIMP!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Taufik charges at Capt. Sebastian Wolf and takes him down with a spear before he gets a chance to reload the tranq gun! Taufik's girls enter the ring and start stomping Wolf with their stiletto heels while everyone is distracted with Walter Tiberius Funk going ape in the crowd! Oh man, those gotta hurt... "

Brad Blood: "WAIT! Wolf's pirate crew rush into the ring and they are hauling the girls out over their shoulders! Wolf's crew have taken all the women as booty! They've kidnapped all the women! Taufik looks on in shock!"

Jim Jackson: "LOW BLOW BY CAPT. SEBASTIAN Taufik by the arms and headbutts them. He then lifts them up in a vertical suplex and holds them there for a few seconds. Wolf quickly jumps up and locks Taufik in a crucifix pin type hold and hooks the leg. They fall to the ground with a sickening impact with the Finishing move Sebastian calls, Shipwrecked!! Taufik is not moving! Wolf hooks the leg and shouts to the ref getting his attention!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall, Capt. Sebastian Wolf!"

Jim Jackson: "Leon Hinomoto finally gets Walter Tiberius Funk in control and both of them makes a quick escape with security chasing behind."

Brad Blood: "Aww, I wanted to see more of Funk..."

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"Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers as smoke rises from the floor. Out from the smoke the figure of Marcus Troy, the general manager of United League of Lunatics emerges from the back. He quickly strides down the entrance ramp and enters the ring with a mic in hand.

Marcus Troy: "And the time for the PPV has again come. I shall be booking us some very special matches for next week. The first match I plan to book shall be Connoly versus Shogun Shogunsen for the Correa Grande del Oro... That's right, last week they were allies, next week they shall fight for the title... Let us see just how fragile their said alliance is."

The crowd boos loudly at the general manager of ULOL.

Marcus Troy: "Next off we shall also have the following match Aurora Borealis versus Boy Bakla versus Nao Fook Mi versus Gina "The Wild" Sheridan in a four-way elimination match where-in the winner shall go on to face the ULOL Campeón No Masculino Raven Connoly for the title, RIGHT AFTER the match."

More boos are heard from the crowd.

Marcus Troy: "And we have the main event... Andrew Hunter versus "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson versus Yuki Monotomo for the ULOL Primo Ultimo! And to make things interesting, this will be a ladder match... Now that that has been settled, I am a busy man and still have much planning to do."

With that, Marcus Troy takes his leave as the crowd boos loudly and "Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers.

"Sound Of Madness" by Shinedown starts to play as Ray Kamaura, The leader of the DWMA, begins striding towards the ring. His seven foot frame towers over everything until he comes to a stop at the top of the ramp. He stands there looking puzzled.

Ray Kamaura: "Troy, there seems to be a mistake, two of them actually. The first mistake being that I am not in a match tonight, now I can live with that. The second being that I’m in the dark match at the PPV."

Ray Kamaura pauses and takes a small step forward.

Ray Kamaura: "I understand that you are a very busy man and you have a lot of work to do, but did you see last week's match? Yuki was in the ring for two minutes then he got beaten so bad he had to tag me. Then I single handedly man handled the Primo Ultimo Champion and Unstoppable "Jerkoff" Johnson. I feel like I deserve better than that. So what are you going to do about this problem?"

Ray Kamaura pauses and waits for the response from Marcus Troy.

Marcus looks at Ray unintimidated and replies.

Marcus Troy: "I do not make mistakes Mr. Kamaura. Let's take a look at your situation, right now you cannot challenge for the Primo Ultimo until the end of December, what does that mean? It means that you are nothing more than a midcarder right now. You should be happy I booked you in a dark match, I could have not booked you at all. You want to be booked as a main event Ray? Well prove it to me in that dark match PPV, show me what you are REALLY capable of, it's a four-way elimination match, but if you can be the one who does ALL the eliminating, I shall reconsider your position."

Marcus Troy shoves past Kamaura and disappears backstage not even waiting for a reply.

Ray Kamaura: "Consider it done. One of them is a gorilla, one of them smells like a gorilla, and Taufik is as smart as a gorilla. Like shooting monkeys in a barrel."

Ray Kamaura chuckles and walks out.

The camera pans out to show Shogun sitting in his locker room. A large welt can still be seen on his head from the chair short he endured last week as well as the other possible injuries he may have sustained. He looks up at the camera after a moment and begins to speak.

Shogun Shogunsen: "Predictable. Very predictable outcome to our match last week Raven. You cheated, you lost, then you decided to make me pay for pinning you."

Shogun shakes his head a little, wincing in pain.

Shogun Shogunsen: "The only thing that seperates the new you from the old me is that I never touched Marcus Troy's more than likely tiny penis."

Shogun shrugs his shoulders, once again wincing.

Shogun Shogunsen: "I thought I would give you a little history lesson Raven. Seeing how you must have forgotton who I am and why you can't beat me. I, much like you, started wrestling at a very young age. I was forced out of my home and had to fend for myself with no training. While my father never trained me I did find a mentor who was just as harsh and cruel. Unlike you however I have to be turned into the man I am today."

Shogun Shogunsen: "You must remember, I was much colder and more evil than you are now and will ever be. I was a ruthless machine hell bent on ending careers because I thought that it was the only thing I was good at. You watched my matches all the time, jut like you admitted to me a long time ago. You were a fan!"

Shogun Shogunsen: "I was cold and ruthless until I met a girl. I'm sure many of my fans remember her. Her name was Anne Marie and she opened my eyes. She made me feel liek even an ugly, horrible man such as myself could be loved."

Shogun Shogunsen: "So yes, the two of us were lovers for a number of years, I fought for her. Bled for her. I was young and stupid. I guess I still am considering I thought you were a good person Raven. Obviously you remember the breakup and the fact that I was used. I was broken until you slapped the sense into my head that fans all around the world cared about me!"

Shogun wipes a small tear from his eye

Shogun Shogunsen: "Obviously that lesson never kicked in until just recently. You have had similar experiences I'm sure. The two of us are as close to mirror images as it gets! I'm sure that you think you are proud of yourself for trading your body and your dignity in exchange for free reign to do whatever you want around here. I know you probably think everyone is totally fooled and thinks you could never be the mastermind behind all of this Troy business."

Shogun looks a little closer into the screen.

Shogun Shogunsen: "I know that as soon as you get what you want you will ditch Troy because you don't care about him. You are just letting him have his way with you so that you can benefit in the way of title shots!"

Shogun Shogunsen: "Maybe you watched me a little too closely long ago, maybe to you that plan is brillient! I mean you obviously don't seem to care about your dignity, or that the people who loved you think you are a dirty slut now...or do you? Perhaps one day this little phase of your life will haunt you like my past life does me."

Shogun Shogunsen: "Though I highly doubt that my past life can haunt me as much as being Troy's little toy will haunt you. I am the best wrestler in the world Raven. You think that this path you are taking will get victories against me but you are very wrong! You found out last week that you can best me even if you cheat! Even if you let Troy have you I will not back down! I will do what you never could and destroy Marcus Troy whether I have to go through you and your false pride or not!"

Shogun slams his fist into his palm.

Shogun Shogunsen: "One day you will look back at what you did now and hate yourself Raven. That is, you will if you do the smart thing and snap out of this idiot phase like I did. I guess maybe this role reversal thing will work out when I slap the sense into you next time we meet in the ring...I can only hope that for your sake you listen to reason..."

Shogun gets up and walks past the camera man as the screen fades to black.

The clip starts rolling, showing the spacious, if sparsely furnished, interior of a room. A large table stands in the center, while a projector screen hangs down one end of the room.

Seated in front of the screen is the man whose company owns this room. He is putting away some papers as he begins to speak, not bothering to look at the camera.

Manolo Ferrer: "Certain parties have made inquiries about me. I'll have to apologize for not being available for November 13's Lucha Loco. My team has done a tremendous job of keeping the ship going while I was out. Unfortunately, some of our clients prefer to deal with me, personally. I'm still easing my way back into a lot of things, and since I was told that my clients weren't booked for any match on November 13, I focused on other parts of my business instead."

He finishes sorting his papers, placing them off-camera.

Manolo Ferrer: "One thing I want to clarify for those disturbed by my clients' actions: what happened was a business decision. Targets have been set, and need to be met. My clients' goals have been on the backburner for too long, and it is time they got back to completing those goals. That my clients are going to be at odds with you is unfortunate, but not avoidable. They can live with that. The only thing they will regret is if they are unable to get the prize they are after."

Mr. Ferrer pushes himself away from the table as he stands up.

Manolo Ferrer: "I was told this clip will be posted on the ULOL website. My apologies for being brief, but I'm very busy these past several days, and right now this is the most convenient way for me to provide a response."

Mr. Ferrer leaves, without so much as another word.

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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/20/2011   Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:37 am

The scene opens in the infirmary, there is a large white curtain that is blocking what is going on in the back of the room. The sound of a saw can be heard and suddenly a spray of blood splashes against the curtain.


The saw continues, followed by what sounds like bones breaking. More blood sprays against the curtain.


The saw stops suddenly.

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Oh my, this is embarrassing, I totally forgot to put you under. Well, we are to far into it now to do anything about it."

The saw turns back on, followed by screams, more bone breaking, gurgling noises, and other assorted noise. Blood continues to sporadically spray against the curtain. This goes on for several agonizing minutes.

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "There, that should just about do it."

Dr. Booboo B. Gone comes out from behind the curtain, his doctors coat covered in blood. He removes his blood soaked gloves and tosses them into the bio hazard bin.

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "How does it feel?"

Man: "How does what feel?"

Dr. Booboo B. Gone pulls the curtain back to reveal Connoly laying on a surgery table.

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Well get up and walk on it Connoly. We need to make sure everything is OK."

Connoly: "Walk on it? You just tore my knee open, did god knows what, and stapled it back together. Don't I need to give it some time to heal?"

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Really Connoly, there is a reason I'm the doctor for ULOL, I'm something of a miracle worker. Remember that time Allister King had his stomach ripped open and was strangled with his own intestines?"

There is a rather long silence.

Connoly: "....,What?!"

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Oh, that may have been before you came to ULOL. Anyway, he was back in a matter of weeks. That was thanks to me, now get up."

Connoly sits up, a row of staples holding an incision together on his left knee. He looks at Dr. Booboo B. Gone suspiciously as he slowly slides off the table and onto his feet. He stands there a few moments before lifting his leg up and down a few times.

Connoly: "I'll be god dammed Doc. It's like nothing ever happened."

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Well, that was the goal wasn't it. OK, lets get that wrapped up and you can be on your way."

Connoly sits down and Dr. Booboo B. Gone starts to wrap his knee.

Connoly: "Uhm, so what happened to Allister?"

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Well, it was quite a mess. You see....,"

The scene fades to black.


Jasmine Lee: "The following match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, Gina "The Wild" Sheridan"

“Highway to Hell” by AC/DC starts to sound and Gina “The Wild” Sheridan accompanied with Summer Bold walks down the entrance ramp and enters the ring to little fanfare.

Jim Jackson: "Gina looking determined as ever as she makes her way to the ring."

Brad Blood: "Well, we've all seen how well that determination has worked for Gina in the past. She's lucky she has a nice rack or there would be no reason for me to watch this match at all."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Nao Fook Mi!"

Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. She quickly makes her way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. She bows and gives her respect to the crowd before heading to her corner.

Jim Jackson: "Who ever wins this match will have the momentum going into Aquí Está Tu Premio Puta!! We have sort of a preview match here."

Brad Blood: "Yeah, except the match at Aquí Está Tu Premio Puta!! is a four-way, and the winner will immediately take on Raven Connoly for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino, but other than that, yeah, totally the same thing."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Gina starts things out with a powerful chop to Nao, the sound from that one went all the way out to the back of the arena! Gina with an irish whip into the ropes, and she nails Nao with a big boot."

Brad Blood: "Fook Mi receiving some punishment from Gina. Gina pulls Nao to her feet, and Nao with a quick jab to The Wilds throat. Man, I've never noticed how nice of an ass Nao has."

Jim Jackson: "Maybe you should pay more attention to the match, and less attention to the competitors asses."

Brad Blood: "Why would I do that? Jeez Jim, are you gay or something?"

Jim Jackson: "Forget it. Nao Fook Mi ducks a clothesline attempt. Fook Mi crushes The Wild with a running senton. Back heel kick off the second rope, The Wild goes down. There's the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two!"

Brad Blood: "Gina hurling Nao off of her like she was made of paper. Gina with a body slam on Nao Fook Mi, followed by a few stomps for good measure."

Jim Jackson: "Nao Fook Mi back to her feet, and is greeted by a kick to the gut. DDT from Sheridan, and now Gina goes for the cover."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two!"

Brad Blood: "Fook Mi kicks out, Gina goes for an elbow drop but Nao rolls clear. Shocking, Gina just messed up her momentum, I've never seen that happen."

Jim Jackson: "Nao locking Gina in the Boston crab, could this be it. Wait, Gina may be powering out, yes she is, sending Nao flying across the ring. Gina lifting Nao in the air, and delivers a power bomb, wait, she lifts Nao back up. DOUBLE POWERBOMB ON FOOK MI. THE WILD HOLDS NAO DOWN FOR THE PIN!!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Thr..,"

Brad Blood: "Fook Mi kicks out just in time, man Gina's trunks are half way up her ass after that powerbomb. Awww, don't fix it, god dammit!"

Jim Jackson: "Nao off the top rope with a roundhouse kick to Gina's face. That was out of nowhere and it floors Gina Sheridan. Nao Fook Mi slips behind Gina and locks her forearms over The Wild's neck and nape choking Gina to unconsciousness executing a devastating Fook Mi to Sleep!!!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by submission, Nao Fook Mi!"

Brad Blood: "Hmmmm, Gina is unconscious, dare I take advantage?""

Jim Jackson: "EWWWW! Are you kidding me Brad?! Nao Fook Mi climbs each turnbuckle in turn, working the crowd as she celebrates her victory!"

Though well lit, an ominous aura is cast upon the locker room as we see Colton Charles Cai Cobb hunched over, his eyes looking straight into the camera. The rage is clearly seen in his eyes as the camera zooms in and stops only when C4's head and shoulders are in view.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Finally tonight I shall get my hands on Ragki Nikara, the worm who dared betray me. This evening, the world shall bear witness as I show them what happens to people who dare draw my ire. Ragki Nikara, I shall not waste any more words on you, instead tonight, in the ring with my magnificent abilities, I shall make you understand that your error could cost you your career. And the money you took from me? Well I doubt that would even cover your medical expenses once I am through with you. And just to show how confident I am tonight with my promise to dismember Ragki... I will be putting my Boleto Dorado on the line."

The camera zooms away again as the scene slowly fades to black.

The scene opens with Brostar entering Marcus Troy's office, he walks to Troy who is doing some paper work and looks up to Brostar.

Brostar: "Hello sir."

He says as he sits down on a chair.

Brostar: "So as you know couple of weeks ago GoodFella & Schwarz decided to jump me and my partner Fettel, they threw him off the stage and beat me up with brass knuckles. I'm not going to sit here and do nothing about, I want a match with Fettel against GoodFella & Felix at the next PPV in a any type of gimmick match."

He says as he waits to see what Troy says.

Marcus Troy puts aside some paperwork he was working on and looks at Brostar. He casually lights up a cigar and replies.

Marcus Troy: "Any type of match you say? Well this may prove interesting... I'm sure that can be arranged. In fact I'll be extra generous and make the match a number one contender's match. The winner shall get a title shot against The Northern Kings."

Marcus Troy looks at Brostar who looks pleased with Troy's decision.

Marcus Troy: "The question now is what type of gimmick match to book you in. Well I have got it then. Next week at the PPV, it will be Brostar & Marston VS GoodFella & Schwarz in BRAS AND PANTIES match..."

A grin is seen on Marcus Troy's lips as Brostar looks surprised at the decision.

Marcus Troy: "You did say I can book you in ANY type of gimmick match am I correct? So that is my decision. I guess you should go and choose some lingerie for next week then."

Marcus Troy starts chuckling under his breath as the scene slowly fades.

Ragki Nikara is backstage walking around in the hallways as the dims lights shine upon his black figure. He spins a steel chair around toward the camera and sits in it backwards. The lights flicker above the wrestler as he begins to speak.

Ragki Nikara: "I have a match against C4 tonight. Ha! That fool. He just assumed that missing a payment wouldn't affect my loyalty. I told him what I was there for and what I wanted. Money, cash, bills, moolah, greenbacks, dolluhs, cents, bones, scratch, denero, pictures of dead people that are important. That's all I wanted out of our partnership. I offered my allegiance in exchange for the glorious green pieces of paper."

Ragki laughs to himself for a second as the light swings above him. He pulls a large clip of money from his jacket and flashes it at the camera before putting it back.

Ragki Nikara: "I used your money to buy myself a new money clip C4. 24 carat. Holds the cash I took from Brostar nicely. It sees as though you did aid me one final time so my currency could be snug as a bug. It looks like I'll have to be going now, putting my money in the safe and whatnot. But long story short, I'm winning, you're losing. That's as simple as it is. So I hope you brought your checkbook, because I'm taking out another payment."

The man in the black cloak begins to walk back toward the dressing rooms as the lights flicker and the scene fades to black.

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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/20/2011   Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:38 am

Blue and Red lights shine throughout the arena as Edguy's King of Fools begins to play. Allister King, accompanied by Samantha Collins who is holding a briefcase, walks out onto the entrance ramp to a thunderous roar of the crowd. He poses on the top of the ramp as white pyrotechnics begin to rain down behind him. He continues to walk down to the ring, smiling to the crowd. He high fives a few off the audience members before sliding into the ring. He poses once more for the crowd, before grabbing a microphone

Allister King: "Well I bet you are all wondering why I came out here but to be fair I actually doubt you don't know. You see at the PPV, I am holding a special event. The ULOL Awards known as Aquí está su perra de premio! Long title but if you speak spanish you will know what it means. It shall be a night of merriment in which Celebrities and Wrestlers will be together under one roof. Tickets go on sale tomorrow and hopefully you will purchase a ticket to show your support for the many employees of ULOL and for the chance to see your favorite celebrities. So far I have got word that Charlie Sheen, Morgan Freeman and Arnold Schwarzennger will be in attendance."

The Crowd roar at the mention of the 3 big actors names

Allister King: "Right beside me is my beautiful wife, Samantha, and this may sound like a cheesy magic show but as you can see, she is holding a briefcase. Inside are very important documents. Sammie, the briefcase please."

Samantha hands Allister the briefcase.

Allister King: "This contains the names and nominations for each category of the awards. People such as Zombie, The Morbidly Obese Man, Shogun Shogunsen, Marcus Troy, Myself and many many more. There is a total of 12 awards to be handed out at the ceremony and as you can guess I went out of my way just to get a special trophy made for the event. Picture it as the ULOL equivalent to the MTV VMA awards and instead of musical performances we have wrestling matches. Isn't that weird?!"

Allister laughs

Allister King: "Sorry was watching the third Austin Powers movie last night. Anyway before I finish I have something else to do. I need one of the authority figures here to sign this document. Its pretty standard, it just states the amount ULOL will receive of the profits from the show and that I am not held responsible if someone blows up the building or something like that."

Allister waits

Allister King: "I know you guys are busy and Eunice might break a hip if she moves too fast but I also have other business to attend to so if you please.

The ULOL Tron comes on and we see the vice-general manager of ULOL Eunice P. Winslow on the giant screen.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Forgive me if I can't make it into the ring in person Mr. King but my arthritis is really bad tonight. I applaud you for your initiative and I would gladly sign that document you are holding to finalize the plans."

The ULOL intern, Bob Bobbie comes bounding down the entrance ramp and enters the ring.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Mr. Bobbie shall bring the document to me, please hand it to him. I shall sign it and have it delivered back to you. Again I thank you and your wife for this opportunity you brought to ULOL."

Bob Bobbie takes the document from Allister King and heads to the back as the scene ends.

Marcus Troy, the most powerful man in ULOL at the moment sets down what he was doing as Jim Rival enters the room at his request. He lights up a cigar just as Rival settles down on the seat opposite his table.

Marcus Troy: "Ah, Mr. Rival, though you and Raven didn't win the match last week, the way you destroyed Shogunsen didn't escape my notice. I just want you to know that your service is muchly appreciated. Now I know that the old hag Winslow has booked a three-way behind my back to determine your next opponent for the Ligero Maximo title. Well as a reward for your services, I shall allow you to choose the stipulations for your title match."

Marcus Troy takes another puff from his cigar and leans forward.

Marcus Troy: "And the stipulations can be anything, I can even book it that only you Mr. Rival cannot be disqualified in a match. A sweet deal don't you think?"

Marcus Troy smiles as he waits for Jim Rival to reply.

As Jim sat there thinking for a moment he pulled a cigarette from the inside of his jacket, lighting it and taking a long drag before having a frigid smile come over his face. As he spoke the grey trails of smoke came form his mouth.

Jim Rival: "That is a very interesting idea...I think it is time to send a message."

He leaned forward, tapping the ashes of his cigarette into a nearby ashtray and looking back to Troy.

Jim Rival: "I like what you suggested, but I think we will add on more. In order to see the light at it's brightest you must know nothing but darkness. So they will be blindfolded. They will know the darkness first hand that holds them before I bring down the light to them."

Marcus Troy: "Done!"

Marcus Troy grins as he offers his hand to Jim Rival to seal the deal.

Marcus Troy: "Here's to our lucrative partnership Mr. Rival. As I told you before, I shall always reward those who side themselves on MY side. You are now reaping the benefits of being my right hand."

The scene opens in a dark alley. What? I'm being vague? Regardless, the cameraman makes his way toward the street, being lit by a light on a pole. The camera cuts to the left, making a complete one-eighty, showing two buildings right next to eachother, seperated only by the alleyway; which is actually a relatively large seperation compared to most spaces. A bar, evident by the sign saying "BAR", and an unlabeled building. Neither have windows, which would likely make for bad atmosphere.

A commotion is heard from within the bar, assumably, and suddenly the door bursts open to show Andrew Hunter, wearing his favorited brown jacket, running out into the street. He's currently going through somebody's wallet. He glances upwards and notices the camera.

Andrew Hunter: "What? He lost the bet!"

Andrew comes out a wad of bills, assumably larger than 20, and drops the wallet on the street. He continues to stuff them into his pocket and run into the alley, leaping up, over, and into a dumpster.

Just as suddenly as Andrew, a man blows through the door. Standing at least 6'4", dressed in a black jacket, white shirt, black pants, and sporting a black eye. He runs into the street and looks around, followed by about 4 people who look almost exactly like him. You know, minus the eye. Except for one feature being off, (lips, nose, ears, and eyes), on one of each of them, they were practically clones.

Black-Eyed Man: "Hey, cameraman! Ya know where he went?"

The camera shakes from left to right, which would make it appear that he was saying no, as the man drops down and picks up his wallet.

Man With Green Eyes: "Ya know Chuckie, maybe you should just stop making that bet..."

Black-Eyed Man: "But how is it possible for him to roll a seven seven times in a row, every time?"

Man With a Small Nose: "Well, he always goes through your pockets before he rolls. Maybe he stole your loaded dice!"

The Black-Eyed man pats his left pocket, and with a grimace addresses his tiny-nosed friend.

Black-Eyed Man: "Frankie, you're right man! That guy swindled my prize swindlin' tool!"

Cameraman: "Wait, you mean the guy with the brown jacket? Ooooooh! He went thataway!"

The group of black jacket greasers take their attention toward the screen, hopefully looking at the guy carrying the camera and not the people watching this, and make a break to their right.

After a few seconds, Andrew Hunter jumps back out of the dumpster. Brushing himself off, he smiles to the camera before making his way back into the bar. However, he stops halfway there and turns back to the camera.

Andrew Hunter: "Since I'm technically supposed to be at ULOL right now... Hey, anyone wanna hear my thoughts?"

He glances to his right, looking for the group of bouncers, then back at the camera.

Andrew Hunter: "Well, I must say, I wasn't really surprised that much...
I mean, cameraman, you work here! You know, first hand, that if something is not expected to happen in the slightest, it happens! Case and point with Ray beating me. Case and point with Jerkoff Johnson! Notice how I'm insulting him."

Cameraman: "Clever!"

Andrew Hunter: "Thank you! Really, it was shown publicly that we had a truce for the night. What drove him to break said truce, even though I stated that he'd be first in line for another shot after I weather the storm for a bit? Was it him being upset over the loss? Did he really never give a shit? Did he make the calculated decision of attacking me so he'd be back on Primo Ultimo lane? Perhaps. But regardless of the reasoning, what he did hasn't managed to lose my respect. Who knows? Maybe after I beat him and Yuki, (which, I'm calling right now, will be due to Ray Kamaura in some way shape or form), I might even offer him another singles match. Why? Well..."

Andrew Hunter: "What better way to make someone stop hitting you than to hit them back hard enough to put them on their arse? Now if you'd excuse me, I'd prefer to grab a quick drink before I have to ruin such a peaceful evening with another face punch."

Glancing this time to his left, then to his right, he makes his way back into the bar as the shot fades.


Jim Jackson: “Well our match now is a feud that has been on-going since our last PPV. Ragki Nikara and Colton Charles Cai Cobb were teamed up for a short while before Ragki assaulted C4 from behind after his match with Brostar.”

Brad Blood: “Ragki even stole C4’s wallet and emptied the cash out of it! And now C4 is on a mission to see Ragki NIkara bloodied and beaten!”

Jim Jackson: “And obviously Ragki really doesn’t want that to happen and will do everything he can to avoid the explosive wrath of C4!!”

Jasmine Lee: “This match is scheduled for One Fall and is for the ULOL Boleto Dorado!! Introducing first, Ragki Nikara!!”

"Evolution" by Korn plays as Ragki Nikara walks down the ramp toward the ring quickly. Once he enters the ring, he throws off his sun hat and trench coat toward the ramp and waits for the match to begin.

Jasmine Lee: “And introducing his opponent, Colton Charles Cai Cobb!!!”

Green Day's "Having a Blast" starts blaring out of the speakers as the silhouette of the penultimate wrestler, covered in smoke and with a light show on, Colton Charles Cai Cobb raises from the ground with his back facing the crowd. He turns around as he steps off the platform and into the entrance ramp with a smirk on his face and an air of arrogance as he makes his way to the ring ignoring the loud boos which echo the ringside. He enters the ring, flexes and stretches waiting for the match to begin.

Jim Jackson: “C4 looking determined to just get this one started. The referee trying to hold him back from Ragki Nikara!!”

Jasmine Lee: “The referee for this match will be Jack B. Nimble! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!!!”

Brad Blood: “Well we would show you Nimble looking professional but he’s trying to hold C4 back!! The bell’s gone now anyway!! C4 shoving Nimble out of the way and an unsuspecting Ragki Nikara is now under fire from a storm of punches!!”

Jim Jackson: “Nimble brushing himself off and seems to have just taken it in his stride! But he’s going to have to peel C4 away from Nikara all the same!!!”

Brad Blood: “And not getting anywhere! Put your back into it Nimble!!”

Jim Jackson: “Ragki finally lashing out as he pushes C4 away from himself and Nikara now firing a few rights of his own!! And finally a boot to the face of C4 subdues the aggressive wrestler for a short period! Ragki hoping to take advantage of the situation and continues his attack with the stomps to the midsection of C4 now!!”

Brad Blood: “Ragki Nikara hoping to get the upper hand early on in this matchup! Ragki Nikara dragging C4 to his feet and with the kick to the midsection to keep C4 quiet for little longer!! C4 though bent down as NIkara prepares!! Nikara steps back a few paces and moves forward going into the scissor kick!! But C4 moves out of the way just in time!!”

Jim Jackson: “C4 takes advantage of the surprised Nikara and a BIG clothesline brings Nikara down to the canvas!! C4 now looking to EXPLODE into action as he goes over to the turnbuckle and climbs it to the top! C4 diving forward into the air and he lands a BIG atomic drop!! That leg landing right onto the face of Ragki NIkara!! C4 with the shoulders down!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!!”

Brad Blood: “C4 lifts the head of Nikara up on purpose!! Looks like he doesn’t want this one to end so soon!”

Jim Jackson: “Looking to deal a bit more damage to the man that betrayed his trust!”

Brad Blood: “I think he just wants to beat him to hell within the legal confines of this match!! C4 though risking a lot if Nikara comes back into this one and finishes HIM off instead! C4 planting a few more rights to the cranium of Nikara!! And now with Nikara on his feet!! NIkara mounting a fightback!! Quickly taking a stab in the dark!!“

Jim Jackson: “C4 though stopping the offense with a european uppercut!! And another one!! And a third forces Nikara onto the ropes!! C4 irish whips NIkara sending him running to the opposite side! C4 waits for NIkara to rebound off the rope! NIkara has arm outstretched but C4 foresaw the attempted counter!!”

Brad Blood: “He countered the counter! Ha!”

Jim Jackson: “As I was saying …. C4 just planted Nikara with a nice spinebuster right into the canvas!!! Nikara just ran right into that!!! The momentum slamming down into the canvas along with Ragki Nikara!! C4 looks to the grounded Nikara and flips him over!!”

Brad Blood: “Hoho! I can see what’s coming!! Oh! And I think Ragki knew as well!!! Nikara suddenly springing into life as he kicks away the beginnings of the RDX!! I suppose he knows C4 back to front and front to back! Wait a minute where’s he off?”

Jim Jackson: “Nikara deciding to throw in the towel as he makes his way up the ramp!! C4 sprinting after him and well both men now have left the arena in a hurry!! Nikara running away from this match and C4 has gone after him!!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!! Three!”

Brad Blood: “Nimble is in all sorts of confusion!! But he’s counting all the same!! Is there any point? I don’t think they’re going to be making their way back here in any hurry!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Four! Five! Six!! Seven!!”

Jim Jackson: “Maybe Nikara realised he couldn’t win this one!!”

Brad Blood: “That’s a sore loser for you!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Eight!! Nine!!! TEN!!!!! Ring the bell!!”

Jim Jackson: “Nimble shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders!! There’s not much more a referee can do when something like that happens!!”

Jasmine Lee: “Ladies and gentlemen as a result of a double count out this match has been ruled a No Contest!”

Brad Blood: “I think wrestlers just run away from Nimble anyway! Who even likes this man?”

Jim Jackson: “Obviously you don’t! We’ll back folks!! Just after some of this!!”

Have you always wanted a pet but cannot afford one?

Have you always wanted a pet but is afraid that it'll destroy the furniture?

Have you always wanted a pet but do not have the time to feed and walk it?



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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/20/2011   Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:39 am


As the reverberation from each step the massive giant known as The Morbidly Obese Man take shook the arena, the crowd looks on in fear the the ruthless behemoth that has managed to enslave a nation and humiliate it's national hero, the masked hypocrite also know as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. The gargantuan wrestler makes his way down the ramp and enters the ring with a mic in hand which he raises to his lips.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "It is no secret of the hatred between me and Q... You've all heard the insults he has thrown my way... I myself have retaliated towards him. Well I think this PPV is a perfect opportunity for both of us to end our war once and for all."

The big man paces in the ring before continuing.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "You see whilst vacationing in Q's country, I was able to see some wonderful sights, and one of the places I saw was an active volcano, Mt. Guabepachewching... Now many of you may wonder what does a volcano have to do with my feud with Q? Well the answer is simple... The time has come for me and Q to end our squabble and what other place would be appropriate for our explosive battle than the top of an active volcano! So Q, this is my challenge to you... Next week, we battle on top of Mt. Guabepachewching in your home country... The loser of the match is the one who falls into the boiling lava, what say you?"

The crowd is shocked by the challenge thrown by The Morbidly Obese Man who waits for his nemesis to come out.

The fans talk among themselves, wondering if indeed the masked man will come out. For all anyone knows, he may already be back in his home country, desperately rallying his people to fight off the freaking fat invader who now stands before them. The Morbidly Obese Man's girth fills the length and breadth of the ring, leaving very little room for anyone else.

The chords of a very familiar nu-metal song begin to play, rousing everyone from their seats. However, as the Morbidly Obese Man and everyone else watches the stage expectantly, they see several people come out, instead of one masked man.

The assembled group at the stage glare viciously at the fat man. They are immediately recognized as the reporters who constantly cover the every move of the man known as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Reporter: "You fat bastard! You expect to show your face here after what you did!? You enslaved our country and took all the food!!!!!"

Reporter 2: "You didn't even leave a free kitty behind! You sold off the airport! The seaport! The post office! Now you're expecting Mr. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing to appear at your beck and call, and answer your challenge! HE'S NOT HERE TODAY!"

The crowd reacts with a mix of cheers and boos.

Reporter: "You assume too much, fatty! You left our country! And now Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is back there! He's back there, taking back what you stole and soiled! He's there to pick up the pieces of your act of molestation!"

The reporter's emotions get the better of him, and he chokes off an angry sob as he steps back to regain his composure. Another reporter steps forward, producing a satellite phone. He points a microphone at the phone, and we hear a momentary crackle, before a familiar voice booms from the other end.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Is this on! After sneaking back into our beloved homeland, all I can say I am barely able to bottle the rage burning inside me! In some countries, you would be dragged to the street and shot! But you somehow show up in the ULOL again! Without a scratch! Where are those Occupy people! Where is the UN! I thought they were supposed to fight oppression! My humble homeland has been made humbler because of you! And we weren't asking to be made humbler! AND YOU SAT ON ALL THE PONIES!"

Varied expressions of horror mar the journalists' faces as they receive that last bit of news.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "There are no more ponies in our land! So many things gone! You want a fight on top of Guabepachewching! I accept!"

The fans react to Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing accepting the Morbidly Obese Man's challenge, even as the reporters quiver in helpless, frustrated rage and grief over the fat man's acts of heinousness.

The two wrestlers stare at each other with such hatred that security quickly came out to stand between them lest they start brawling...

The Morbidly Obese Man: "You guys don't have to worry, I got what I wanted... Next week then Q... I shall savor how I destroy you in your own homeland..."

The big man starts laughing as he exits through the crowd as Q stares on angrily.

The scene opens to the hallways in the backstage area. Staff constantly make thier way back forth through the corridors as does the occasional wrestler. The camera pans on one particular wrestler in the background. As the camera moves closer the camera we can hear the wrestler talking but to no one in the immediate area. The camera looks left and right as if looking for the other person, then moves in. As it moves in even closer it is clear the wrestler is Fettel Marston. Staff eye him wearily as they make thier way past the psychotic wrestler.

Fettel Marston: "Are you sure he will get the job done? I want those two in a goddamn match!! And I want them to enter the arena first so we always have our eyes on them!!"

Fettel's tone changes to one of calm.

Dad: "Don't worry boy! I trust Brostar with this task and I'm sure we'll have a match with them at the PPV! Week from now we will have them at our mercy! Just make sure you are ready for them!"

Fettel Marston: "I'm always ready! We hung them out to dry before and we'll do it again."

Dad: "In a triple threat tag match boy! Never forget that! A tag on tag is alot more different! I only say this because they seem different. With the so-called return of thier manager they seem to have picked themselves up! Surprising what one man can do isn't it?"

Fettel looks up into the air in thought and bites his lip.

Fettel Marston: "It is. But why now? Why has he come back now? And what for?"

Dad: "He was injured during some attack or something. He was recovering."

Fettel Marston: "For about three or four months? Not even a manager needs that long in order to recover does he? It just seems like he's after something or lacks something in his life that he needs to fulfill."

Fettel's look changes from one of thought to one of confusion.

Dad: "Just let me do the thinking boy! Whether or not he is after something or if he's after some sort of mysterious power that lies within The Northern Kings, we still have to deal with the puppets he strings along! Concentrate on them and they won't be problem!"

Voice: "You're here."

A large, very well-dressed man approaches Fettel Marston. His arrival is sudden, not unlike the shattering of china at a restaurant. The man is immediately recognized.

Manolo Ferrer: "We've never met, but I've heard a lot of things about you. I'd like to ask a question, Mr. Marston. That is, the elder Mr. Marston."

He is quick to correct himself, while impassively looking on at the smaller Fettel Marston.

Manolo Ferrer: "I understand you're quite busy. I don't intend to take up much of your time."

He stands alone, without the company of his clientele.

Fettel Marston raises an eyebrow and grins. He vigourously shakes Manolo Ferrer's hand.

Dad: "Manolo Ferrer! Well it sure is a pleasure to finally meet you! Whether or not your cowardly friends that you manage attacked Fettel and Brostar, it's still a pleasure! Well we're not doing anything just waiting for Brostar on the answer from Marcus Troy! Go right ahead with your question!"

The manager of Arnold Bold and Felix Schwarz does just that.

Manolo Ferrer: "How long do you think you can have Mr. Brostar in your corner, before he shoves Mr. Fettel Marston under the bus?"

Mr. Ferrer is impassive as he continues.

Manolo Ferrer: "You want what's best for...your son. I'm telling you right now that you have far bigger problems than Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz. Mr. Brostar's cheering you on to get a match with my clients, all while ready to flip on you like a blueberry cowpie without any warning. We're even not sure who he's going to log in as half the time."

Mr. Ferrer delves further, his words calm and even.

Manolo Ferrer: "I'm not saying Mr. Brostar is a kindred spirit you could relate to. Nor should you. I'm saying you're teaming with someone who will turn on you and fart in your face when you probably least expect it. Then you wake up dressed in a French maid outfit that's two sizes too small, with a ball gag in your mouth and a toilet seat around your neck. And that's probably assuming if Mr. Brostar decides you should have something to wear. Last I heard, his own country doesn't want him back. And here you are, teaming with him when he could jump off the rails and take you...and your son...to places you probably shouldn't be going to."

Mr. Ferrer adds, almost as an afterthought.

Manolo Ferrer: "I have no reason to lie, by the way. In fact, I'm probably depriving millions of ULOL viewers the spectacle of a Mr. Brostar trainwreck."

Brostar walks into the scene, he sees Manolo and speaks to him.

Brostar: "Manolo, what are you doing here?"

Brostar: "Not in a million years I would turn on my friend Fettel, you're only here to cause trouble and trying to turn us against each other, that will never happen. Plus for your information my country very well accepts me as I have to go back there in a couple of weeks to sort something out."

He says as he walks over to Fettel still having his attention to Manolo.

Brostar: "Now why did you send your boys to come and attack us? Is it because you are to old to do stuff for yourself or are you just a coward who hasn't got it anymore to what it takes to step it in the ring?"

He says as he waits for an answer.

Fettel Marston chuckles at the comments made by Manolo Ferrer. He places a hand on the shoulder of Brostar.

Dad: "Let me handle this Brostar. Mr Ferrer here is not a coward! He's approached us right here right now. And without his clients as well! This man is anything but! Plus if I hear right this man beat Alexander Conway!"

Fettel turns his head to look back to Manolo Ferrer. He removes the hand on Brostar's shoulder and takes a step forward.

Dad: "Mr Ferrer I understand your concerns but please I do not care. It was not Mr Brostar here who forced himself upon myself and Fettel. I saw something within Brostar and it was me who requested this team to form. You may continue to raise anymore concerns you may have about Brostar and you may hope to get a rise out of him or myself. But I know that Mr Brostar here knows better than to get into a little tussel with your good self."

Fettel has a look of shock on his face as he suddenly remembers something and turns back to Brostar.

Dad: "Oh! What did Mr Troy say? Did he give us our match at the PPV with Mr Ferrer's friends? Anything specific?"

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold was going through the backstage area as he sees Manolo Ferrer talking to the father of Fettel Marston... He is not very happy right now as he was informed that he will be facing Fettel and Brostar at the PPV. He approaches them and starts to speak.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "That's the guy I wanna beat up so bad... I've just been informed that at the PPV we facing these two in Bra and Panties match. You gonna regret that you asked for a match against us. So what you gonna say now Fettel?"

Fettel's smile of confidence changes to one of anger. Fettel goes for Arnold GoodFella with his fist raised. His body is suddenly stopped. Fettel looks back and tries to move his locked fist.

Fettel Marston: "Dad! This guy has been asking for it from day one!!!"

Fettel shakes his head and his fist slowly goes back to his side.

Dad: "I understand boy! But WE are better than that! We will see them in this .... uhh ... Bra and Panties match and beat them to a bloody pulp in organized competition. Mr GoodFella I advise against trying to aggravate Fettel or Brostar. You have angered them enough and doing so will only put another nail in your coffin!"

Fettel stares at GoodFella for a bit before moving away from his spot.

Dad: "Now if you'll excuse us. We must begin to train for our match! There must be plenty of techniques to learn and footage of past Bra and Panties matches. Most of which will be women's competitions but I don't think there will be any arguments from Fettel and Brostar!"

Mr. Ferrer waits until a lull comes up for him to speak. He coolly replies to Fettel Marston's tag team partner.

Manolo Ferrer: "It's common knowledge why you're going back home to sort things out, Mr. Brostar. Being caught naked doing kinky things with a platypus does require at least some sorting out. The fact they caught you on the receiving end of said kink speaks volumes."

The manager casually interrupts Brostar before he can begin to respond, even as his expression turns mildly disgusted as he eyes Brostar.

Manolo Ferrer: "And I'm afraid you're not paying the world enough to forget about Mr. Brandon Cavo. I heard Mr. Stank Lord had a really gay old time breaking Mr. Cavo in, and I heard he even let you mop up his sloppy seconds. I think Mr. Richard Simmons may have video of that. By the way, you demanded a bra and panties match from Mr. Troy?"

Disbelief and amusement flash through Mr. Ferrer's disgusted sneer.

Manolo Ferrer: "Not even five minutes after I point out you have an albatross for a tag partner, and already things happen. That's fast, even by Mr. Brostar's standards. If I were you, Mr. Marston, I'd bring hand gel to all your...son's...next tag matches. You never know where Mr. Brostar's hands have been lately. He may even be touching young Fettel without you knowing about it."

Mr. Ferrer taps Mr. Bold's shoulder, gesturing that they should be on their way.

The microphones screech and lights flicker in the ULOL arena. The operator symbol flickers on the screen as low growls are heard coming from the speakers. The laughter of children is heard as the screen fuzzes to a group of children holding hands and spinning in a circle.

Children: "Ring around the rosie."

The operator symbol flashes for a brief millisecond, after which it returns to the children playing in negative focus.

Children: "Pocket full of posies."

The operator symbol flashes once again, but this time the children are in black and white.

Children: "Ashes, ashes, we all fall down."

After another flash of the operator symbol, sacks are shown hanging from trees. They are moving around and there are muffled cries and screams. aBs⊗Lute is standing in the background, tendrils are coming from his body with the focus off of him. In one tentacle he holds rope and in the other, a burlap sack. The screen fuzzes like an old tv before showing a new clip from the night before.

Telly Vizhon: "Hi, I’m Telly Vizhon reporting to you about the disappearance of a group of children from a local park today. Nobody claims to have seen the person responsible, but the authorities found this symbol, scratched into the ground at the scene of the disappearance."

A picture of the operator’s symbol in the dirt is shown where the children were playing earlier in the video.

Telly Vizhon: "If you know anything about the whereabouts of these children, or the person responsible, call the nu-"

Telly is cut off and the operator symbol is shown again, this time in red instead of white. aBs⊗Lute’s white text appears over it.

aBs⊗Lute: "THeY c⊗uLdN’t st⊗P tHEiR faTe aND NeITher cAn y⊗U. wE hAVe sAVed tW⊗ sACks, ⊗nE f⊗R Chase O’Brien aND thE ⊗ThER f⊗r Crusade. n⊗tHInG cAn st⊗P uS, sTepPInG sT⊗nES. WE wIlL haVE ⊗Ur tArGeT AnD Y⊗u WiLl n⊗t hInDeR Us. D⊗ N⊗t fEaR. We WIll mAkE iT As PAInfUl aS P⊗sSiBlE."

Loud screeches come from the microphones once again and the ULOL Tron fades back to normal as frightens fans talk amongst themselves in horror of what they just saw while some try to grab cell phones.

Marcus Troy returns to his office after the PPV announcement. He opens the door to his office and finds Raven leaning against his desk with her arms crossed.

Raven Connoly: "What the fuck was that!?"

Marcus gets a confused look on his face as he closes the door to his office. Marcus walks around the desk and sits in his chair.

Raven Connoly: "Didn't I win a match at the last PPV making me number one contender for the ULOL Primo Ultimo? Yet, I did not here my name mentioned at all in that ULOL Primo Ultimo title match at the PPV."

Raven leans over the desk making sure Troy gets an eyeful of cleavage.

Raven Connoly: "So why is that, Baby?"

Marcus Troy: "Calm down babe, it's actually simple... You'll cash in your title shot at the best possible opportunity. We'll observe the way things will go at that three-way ladder match... If whoever wins is in no condition to defend the title... BAM! You cash in your title shot at that time and I'll be there to make sure that match happens... I am just looking out for your best interest babe... Besides, I gave you an easy match on the PPV, no matter who wins, you'll be able to defeat her easily since she'll be dead tired from the triple threat elimination match."

Troy walks over to Raven and encircles his arms around her waist.

Marcus Troy: "I am looking after you babe... So don't fret... I will make sure you are the ULOL Primo Ultimo."

Raven looks at Marcus and smiles.

Raven Connoly: "OK, I guess that does sound like a pretty good plan, I'll let you off the hook this time. Well, now that we got that out of the way."

Raven looks over at the camera man.

Raven Connoly: "You, get the hell out of here!"

The camera man walks out of the office, Raven and Marcus start to kiss as the Camera man closes the door.

Camera Man: "Ugh, I think I'm going to puke!"

The ULOLtron lights up. Chase O'Brien can be seen sitting in a chair in a small room backstage.

Chase O'Brien: "G'day lads and lassies. As you've all heard earlier tonight, I will be competing in a three-way elimination match against aBs⊗LUte and Crusade for the chance to face-off against Jim Rival for his Ligero Maximo title belt."

The intensity in Chase O'Brien's face lights up.

Chase O'Brien: "Now I can't say I've proven myself worthy to have gained an opportunity like this so quickly.. But consider tonight my chance to. I will be champion one day, that I can assure you."

Chase O'Brien nods his head in assurance.

Chase O'Brien: "Now I've shown you that Crusade is no threat.. but the mysterious competitor known as aBs⊗LUte, I can't speak for. But what I can say about him? her? it? Yeah.. It, let's go with it. I can tell you that just because I don't know anything about it, that isn't going to prevent me from winning this match and moving on to face Jim Rival for his title. It's taken me almost 3 years to get here, and after I win tonight.. It's going to take me 3 minutes to beat Jim Rival for the gold.

With a great grin, Chase O'Brien reaches out towards the camera. The ULOLtron cuts off and fades to black.

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The Morbidly Obese Man
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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/20/2011   Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:39 am



Jim Jackson: "Well next we have a triangle match for the number one contender for the ULOL Ligero Maximo, three newcomers will get a chance at the title which Jim Rival currently holds."

Brad Blood: "Well it won't matter who wins, my man Jim Rival shall not let that title go that easily."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a triangle match, introducing first Absolute!"

Silence is in the ULOL arena. The lights flicker and aBs⊗LUte is in the arena, standing.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Chase O'Brien!"

The arena lights up with a blinding white light. "The Chase by Illy" blasts through the arena speakers as the arena fills with white smoke. Blue, White and Red spotlights scatter around the arena and then shines on and follow Chase O'Brien as he makes his way to the ring posing and interacting with the fans.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing last, Crusade!"

"Believe" by Disturbed hits the speakers. The lights in the arena turn and a spotlight shines down on Crusade as he walks out of the entrance curtains to the jeers of the crowd. Crusade can be seen carrying his blood red copy of his holy book in his hand while he makes his way down to the ring. The light from the spotlight shines off of the large leather trenchcoat Crusade wears everywhere. Once in the ring Crusade sheds the trenchcoat cueing the lights in the arena to turn on. After shouting out to the fans about their various sins Crusade takes a seat in one of the turnbuckle corners with his book pressed against his chest.

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Just think the next time the bell rings, one of those three will get a chance at the ULOL Ligero Maximo. Chase O'Brien strikes Crusade sending Crusade reeling. O'Brien turns around and walks into a high dropkick from Absolute. Another dropkick from Absolute sends Crusade over the ropes! Crusade lands on the apron..."

Brad Blood: "This Absolute guy is creepy... He's giving me the heebiejeebies! Seriously look at the hairs on my arms, they are standing upright!"

Jim Jackson: "Chase O'Brien charges in but Absolute dodges and coutners with a huge enziguri. Crusade kicks Absolute in the gut to stop the momentum. Irish whip by Crusade sends Absolute to the turnbuckles... Spinning bulldog in the corner, Absolute is down."

Brad Blood: "Looks like Crusade has gotten the advantage now. I've liked Crusade ever since he debuted, in a hetero kind of way..."

Jim Jackson: "Big kicks from Crusade sends Chase O'Brien to the ropes... O'Brien takes a hurrancarana from Crusade. Crusade hooks the leg... Absolute with a double axe handle breaks the three count before it begins."

Brad Blood: "Damn, seriously that Absolute guy is really disturbing... Maybe even more than Boy Bakla..."

Jim Jackson: "Springboard dropkick from Absolute sends Crusade flying. Nicely done. Chase O'Brien grabs Absolute from behind... Absolute slithers free from his grasp! DDT by Absolute and O'Brien is down! Absolute turns around and Crusade with a hard clothesline send to the ropes..."

Brad Blood: "Haha! Absolute gets tangled in the ropes! What a clothesline from Crusade. O'Brien gets into a grappling match with Crusade while Absolute is trapped on the ropes."

Jim Jackson: "Chase O'Brien seems to get the upper hand! Back suplex on Crusade! Crusade gets up down a belly to belly suplex sends him back to the canvas! O'Brien is kicking things up a notch."

Brad Blood: "O'Brien goes for the cover but Crusade gets a foot up on the bottom rope. Good move by Crusade. Absolute is still struggling on the ropes... Is it me or does he seem like he's enjoying it..."

Jim Jackson: "His awareness of his surroundings got him out of that one. Leg drop by Chase O'Brien... And he misses it as Crusade rolls away on the last second... Crusade with a big kick to the face! O'Brien is down."

Brad Blood: "Crusade is stomping away at O'Brien... And Absolute... Wait?! Where's Absolute? Wasn't he tangled on the ropes a few moments ago? What the?! Where is he?"

Jim Jackson: "Absolute pops up from out of nowhere and takes Crusade down with a leg scissor! Absolute climbs to the top turnbuckle... Chase O'Brien leaps after him and stuns him with an uppercut! SUPER FRANKENSTEINER! Absolute crashes to the canvas and rolls under the rope, off the apron and out of the ring..."

Brad Blood: "Crusade with a series of punches tries to take O'Brien by surprise... Damn it! O'Brien blocks everyone of them..."

Jim Jackson: "Big knee to the gut stops Crusade's onslaught! Chase O'Brien whips the opponent to the ropes following closely behind them. As the opponent rebounds off the ropes, Chase O'Brien leaps in mid-air horizontally spinning in a 360 degree motion landing a kick to the opponents face executing a devastating Chaser!"

Brad Blood: "Ack! Nononononononononono... Dammit! O'Brien goes for the pin!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall, Chase O'Brien!"

Jim Jackson: "Chase O'Brien wins this one and gets the title shot next week! What a big chance for this rookie."

Brad Blood: "Bah, he just got lucky, and next week his luck will run out when he faces Jim Rival."

Jim Jackson: "What a night... The revelations and the surprise bookings..."

Brad Blood: "Surprise is right... Brostar & Marston versus GoodFella & Schwarz in a BRAS AND PANTIES MATCH! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

Jim Jackson: "Again we see the abuse in power which Marcus Troy begins to display again... How will it affect ULOL? Can anyone actually stand up to him? Find out next week in the PPV... Until then, good night folks."

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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/20/2011   

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