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 Lucha Loco 11/06/2011

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PostSubject: Lucha Loco 11/06/2011   Sun Nov 06, 2011 7:45 pm



Jim Jackson: "Good evening and welcome to ULOL's one year anniversary since re-opening! That's right it's Lucha Loco's one year anniversary and I bet you we have a great show lined up for everyone tonight."

Brad Blood: "That's right Jim, I heard that management will make a special announcement about a special booking tonight, I can't wait."

Jim Jackson: "I'm sure our fans can't either, so without further ado, LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"






Stepping out from the entrance tunnel, the vice-general manager of United League of Lunatics Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow quickly makes her way down the entrance ramp and climbs up into the ring. She takes her time to catch her breath before getting down to business. Raising a mic to her lips, the VGM of ULOL speaks.

Eunice P. Winslow: "As you all well know, tonight is a special night... That is correct, tonight is the one year anniversary of Lucha Loco! One year! So in celebration tonight, we shall be giving away ONE title shot... Well not really giving away as much as booking a special TEN MAN BATTLE ROYALE for it. So tonight, for the main event of Lucha Loco we shall be having the following people compete for a chance to win a title shot."

Eunice P. Winslow pauses for dramatic effect...

Eunice P. Winslow: "The participants were drawn in random via a lottery to give everyone in the roster a fair chance, the ten competitors are as follows... Aurora Borealis, Boy Bakla, Gina "The Wild" Sheridan, Little Wang, Nao Fook Mi, Ragki Nikara, Rupert B. Humperdink, Taufik, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson & Yuki Monotomo."

The crowd starts cheering after the names are announced.

Eunice P. Winslow: "So good luck ladies and gentlemen and may the best wrestler win."

With that Eunice P. Winslow finishes her announcement and leaves the ring heading to the back.






The ULOLtron lights up. Lex Lexington can be seen outside the ULOL gym.

Lex Lexington: "Ladies and gentlemen, word is that one of tonights contenders can be found in here. Lets see if we can get in a quick interview."

Lex Lexington enters the gym, signalling for the cameraman to follow behind him.

Chase O'Brien: "twenty-four.. twenty-five.."

Lex Lexington interrupts Chase O'Brien. Chase O'Brien drops a set of dumbells.

Lex Lexington: "Would you mind if I get in a quick interview?"

Chase O'Brien: "Uhh.. Sure why not?"

Lex Lexington: "Great. So is this some sort of pre-match ritual for you?"

Chase O'Brien: "Well, kind of. I like to work up a bit of a sweat before heading into a match. But it doesn't really effect me in the match, it's for more personal reasons."

Chase O'Brien looks directly into the camera and winks.

Chase O'Brien: "How you doing tonight, ladies?"

Lex Lexington nods in agreement as he prepares for a follow up question.

Lex Lexington: "Oh.. I see. So how much you benching these days?"

Chase O'Brein: "Um, usually I bench 175kg. So that's... 385lb? But if it's a pre-match warm up, usually around 220lb.

A look of suprise strikes Lex Lexington's face.

Chase O'Brien: "You're suprised? I know that's not much compared to the rest of some of these guys in here. I actually prefer to bench a light load. It helps to keep the balance between power and speed."

Lex Lexington: "What's your routine looking like?"

Chase O'Brien takes a moment to think.

Chase O'Brien: "Well.. I'll start off with some push ups, sit-ups, abdominal stretches. Then I'll walk that out on the treadmill for a good 10-15 minutes before I do some dumbbell presses, and then 3 sets of 7 speed reps on the bench. Then I usually finish off with some cool down stretches followed by a nice cold shower."

Lex Lexington: "Sounds like suicide to me. You've never cramped up during a match?"

Chase O'Brien: "Sometimes I do feel the effects of over-working during matches, yes. But I can't compete without this workout. It helps ease nerves. Technically, it's therapeutic."

Lex Lexington sighs with relief.

Lex Lexington: "Well thank you for your time, and once again, good luck.

Chase O'Brien: "Like I said last time.. Never needed it."

Chase gets back to his work out as Lex Lexington leaves the ULOL gym. The scene fades to black.






"Believe" by Disturbed hits the speakers. The lights in the arena turn and a spotlight shines down on Crusade as he walks out of the entrance curtains to the jeers of the crowd. Crusade can be seen carrying his blood red copy of his holy book in his hand while he makes his way down to the ring. The light from the spotlight shines off of the large leather trench coat Crusade wears everywhere. Once in the ring Crusade sheds the trench coat cuing the lights in the arena to turn on. After shouting out to the fans about their various sins Crusade takes a seat in one of the turnbuckle corners, taking a microphone from a ring hand so he can speak.

Crusade: "There is not much to say on this evening.A foolish man plans to step into the ring with me. Chase O'Brien must repent for his sins tonight against me, the only priest in the land who can save him from himself. Just like I can save any and all of you who have the courage to face repentance!"

The crowd erupts in boos.

Crusade: "As I thought. Today's people are a people of cowardice and deciet. I am here to take on all comers in this ring so that I may show them the true road to happiness. Many men have joined my congregation in years past. Those men are now very successful. Chase O'Brien has a chance to become one of those men tonight in this ring...I wish him good luck."

Crusade drops the mic and waits against the corner for his opponent to enter the ring.






Ragki Nikara is in a locker room of the ULOL, sitting at a desk with a small lamp. Mountains of money are on the desk and Ragki has a few of the bills in his hands. He is rapidly placing the money down and muttering to himself before saying something audible.

Ragki Nikara: "57, 58, 59, 60. Damn it, Brostar. You didn’t have all that much on you. Only 60 bucks. Oh well, I guess C4 made up for it with MY three grand. Damn, I didn’t think he’d have that much on him. Soon, very soon, all your money are belong to me. Yes. All your cash… all your bills… all your moolah… all you dough… all your wallet babies… all your ATM vomit… it are belong to me. Monies are something that I will get from you. Right after I get my title shot."

Ragki places the stack of cash off to the side. He puts a paper band around the stacks and the slides it off of the desk and into a safe. He then pushes the safe under a mattress.

Ragki Nikara: "There, safe! Now then, I’m going to win tonight. I’ll have the title shot, then I’ll win it… Then I will sell it back to Hunter for a bigger amount! Yes, more money! I’ll win it from him, then win it again, and again, and again! I’ll get more monies from him! All the money! Imma get all up in his wallet!"

The scene fades to blackness as Ragki begins to dance.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2011   Sun Nov 06, 2011 7:46 pm



The lights in the ULOL arena short out and blackness envelops the ring. Screams are heard from the crowd as stumbling is heard. Crashes and fizzles from microphones are the only noises heard as a video appears on the ULOL Tron in white text with a black background and the Operator symbol in the corner in dark red.

aBs⊗LUte: "heLl⊗ UlOl sUpeRstArS. wE haVE a gaME f⊗R y⊗U. W⊗uLD y⊗u LIkE t⊗ paRtICipAtE? A t⊗UrNAmenT ⊗f ChaMPi⊗ns. T⊗ diC⊗VeR, The Truth. P⊗wEr anD weAlTh. AnYthINg y⊗U deSire. n⊗W c⊗ME ⊗Ut neXT wEEk t⊗ ansWER uS."

After the cryptic challenge has been issued from the person or people. The screen returns to blackness for about another minute as mutters are heard amongst the crowd. The lights are flicked back on and the microphones scream for a second.




VS

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first Chase O'Brien!"

The arena lights up with a blinding white light. "The Chase by Illy" blasts through the arena speakers as the arena fills with white smoke. Blue, White and Red spotlights scatter around the arena and then shines on and follow Chase O'Brien as he makes his way to the ring posing and interacting with the fans.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Crusade!"

"Believe" by Disturbed hits the speakers. The lights in the arena turn and a spotlight shines down on Crusade as he walks out of the entrance curtains to the jeers of the crowd. Crusade can be seen carrying his blood red copy of the Holy Bible in his hand while he makes his way down to the ring. The light from the spotlight shines off of the large leaver trench coat Crusade wears everywhere. Once in the ring Crusade sheds the trench coat cuing the lights in the arena to turn on. After shouting out to the fans about their various sins Crusade takes a seat in one of the turnbuckle corners with his Bible pressed against his cheat, waiting for the match to begin.

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "There's the bell and a Flying elbow from Crusade connects. Followed by a NICE hurrancarana from Crusade."

Brad Blood: "This match got started fast, don't we usually say stuff about the wrestlers after they make their entrance."

Jim Jackson: "Yes, we usually do, I'm not really sure why you felt it was necessary to point out our mistake?"

Brad Blood: "Hmmmm, that was kinda dumb. Well any way, both of these wrestlers names start with 'C', that's what I would have said when they came out."

Jim Jackson: "Well that was a huge waist of time, how about we get back to the match. Crusade charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. O'Brien hits a short arm drag on Crusade. O'Brien looking to get back in this match."

Brad Blood: "O'Brien hits a soaring kick on Crusade, and goes for the cover."

Don Q Hotte: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "Crusade kicks out. Chase O'Brien blasts Crusade with a superkick. Another Pinfall attempt from O'Brien."

Don Q Hotte: "One! Two!"

Brad Blood: "I would have bought that as the finish! You know it's true though."

Jim Jackson: "Whats true?"

Brad Blood: "Both their names start with 'C'"

Jim Jackson: "Are you drunk or something?"

Brad Blood: "I wish i was. Chase O'Brien arm drags Crusade over and locks on an armbar. This could be a submission, no Crusade breaks free."

Jim Jackson: "O'Brien goes for a splash but Crusade puts the knees up. Spinning bulldog in the corner and O'Brien is down! Now Crusade looking to pick up the win."

Don Q Hotte: "One! Two!"

Brad Blood: "O'Brien walks into a face crusher variation. Well that was dumb, you know what else starts with 'C'?"

Jim Jackson: "Really? Are you serious with this Brad!?"

Brad Blood: "Cunt, which is what these two guys are! HAHAHAHAHA that was brilliant, I executed that perfectly, I'm a comical genius."

Jim Jackson: "Why do they not fire you? Crusade hits a dropkick on Chase O'Brien and gets right back up. STIFF high kick on O'Brien by Crusade. O'Brien backdrops Crusade out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Chase O'Brien. Weak bodyslam on Crusade by O'Brien sets up a legdrop."

Brad Blood: "Slingshot clothesline by O'Brien, who almost messed it up by slipping on the ropes, what a dumbass. Wait, Crusade is in trouble."

Jim Jackson: "Chase O'Brien whips Crusade to the ropes following closely behind them. Crusade rebounds off the ropes, Chase O'Brien leaps in mid-air horizontally spinning in a 360 degree motion landing a kick to Crusade's face executing a devastating Chaser!"

Don Q Hotte: "One! Two! THREE!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall, Chase O'Brien!"

Jim Jackson: "Chase O'Brien is still in the ring celebrating, But wait Crusade pushes the referee away!!"

Brad Blood: "Looks like Crusade was not happy with the way this match ended. Crusade grabs O'Brien's shoulder and spins him around. Crusade kicks Chase in the gut before double under hooking O'Brien`s arms and hitting a quick butterfly suplex before instantly switching into a cross arm breaker submission hold. Crucified! Crusade wrenches the hold a few times before dropping Chase to the mat!"

Jim Jackson: "Well, Chase may have won that match, but it looks like Crusade was the one who made the impact in that one!"




ZERO CALORIES!!!

ZERO SUGAR!!!

ZERO FAT!!!




Available in stores everywhere.





The Camera opens up to the sound of merriment and screams. A group of women is seen running with tears coming from their eyes.

??: "YAARRHAAA!!!"

The Fearsome pirate captain of ULOL, Captain Sebastian Wolf, walks into view of the camera followed by 3 others in pirate attire.

Cap'n Sebastian Wolf: "Welcome ya sea dogs to next destination fer th' scurvy pirate crew 'o th' leviathan, ULOL. We be here to do what we do best."

Alexander Drake: "What be that Cap'n?"

Cap'n Sebastian Wolf: "Debauchery, violence and sin lad."

Lex Lexington appears out of nowhere and walks up to talk to the captain

Lex Lexington: "Excuse me, Sebastian, may I ask a few questions?

2 of the pirates take out their cutlass and holds it to Lex's throat.

Robert Bartholomew: "Ye dare disrespect th' Cap'n like that? We have no problem cuttin' ye throat from ear to ear. Ain't that be right William?"

William Teach: "'Tis scurvy dog was disrespectful to our Cap'n 'n we can be havin' that."

Cap'n Sebastian Wolf: "Now lads let him shout. if I don't like what he be sayin' ye can cut his tongue out."

Teach and Bartholomew: "Aye aye Cap'n."

They talk the swords from his throat and allows him to speak tho he remains shaken up

Lex Lexington: "Mr. Wolf..."

Alexander Drake: "It be Cap'n Sebastian Wolf to ya ya worthless dog."

Lex Lexington: "My apologies, Captain Wolf, who are these men with you?"

Cap'n Sebastian Wolf: "Ye mind ye tongue around me laddie or I gunna have it. My Crew laddie, 'tis be my first matey, Alexander Drake, one 'o th' finest men I have ever known."

Alexander Drake: "Thank ye fer th' kind words Cap'n

Cap'n Sebastian Wolf: "'N these a pair be William Teach and Robert Bartholomew, A pair 'o th' most bloody thirsty band 'o pirates to ever raise th' Jolly Rogers."

Wolf stares at Lex with cold eyes

Lex Lexington: "Tonight you face Enigma in the ring, how do you feel?"

Wolf and his crew begin laughing

Cap'n Sebastian Wolf: "Keelhaul th' bastard!! What do ye shout lads?"

Crew: Aye Cap'n!

Cap'n Sebastian Wolf: "Now get out 'o me sight before we end ye laddie."

Lex moves as the pirates leave.

Lex Lexington: "Those guys are insane."

The camera fades as Lex tries to collect himself.






The camera turns on to the arena of ULOL as "This Stinks" plays as Stank Lord appears onstage with move of the crowd booing and the others hiding away from the awful and strong stench that follows Stank Lord into the ring as he speaks with a mic in his hand.

Stank Lord: "Guess who's back. Haha!!!"

He says as he walks around the ring while talking.

Stank Lord: "That's right, I am back stronger, badder and smellier than you could ever imagine. I am back to be your most worse, stinkiest nightmare! Your parents used to tell you that dreams and nightmares aren't real? Well they are lying!"

Stank Lord: "Well let's look at the reality, I am a nightmare, I am real and I am never ever going away. I want to tell everyone that if you ever cross my path, I'll make sure it is the last thing you ever do."


He says as the crowd being to boo louder.

Crowd in the Front Row: "YOU STINK YOU SMELLY BASTARD!!

Stank Lord: "Thank you for the complement. Anyways I am hear to say that for the moment I am back for one thing and that is get revenge on a certain someone that I should have awhile ago, and I get it sooner rather than later."

Stank Lord: "But as for now I need a match and I want one next week, and what better match to have then another $1, 000 Fart Challenge! So do I have any takers? If there is, you know where to find me. Just follow my noxious scent."


Stank Lord drops the mic and exits the ring as the crowd breathes a collective sigh of relief.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2011   Sun Nov 06, 2011 7:46 pm



We slowly pass by a row of cubicles, occupied by staff who silently go about their work - filling out forms in triplicate, responding to clients' e-mail, and other chores you would expect to find in any typical corporate fiefdom. Punchclock wage slaves, anonymous in their uniform business suits, and all striving to meet the targets set for them.

Like any fiefdom, it doesn't take long to spot where the manor lord of these corporate serfs is. His secretary ushers us right into his huge office, where he offers us a seat.


Manolo Ferrer: "I heard my return was so hot, ULOL ran it twice. For emphasis. And in case the prior narration didn't say it clearly enough, this is all mine."

Mr. Ferrer gestures with his hand around the office.

Manolo Ferrer: "Questions were asked. Answers were not given at the time, mainly because many of those answers you people already knew. An ambush and injuries forced me off ULOL. It's the sort of attack you'd expect being done to someone who could defeat you in a championship match. Like Evolution beating down Goldberg. That it was a manager who was the prime target of such a hit, that says quite a bit about how frail my attackers' confidence was, and probably still is. But that's a topic for another day."

Mr. Ferrer's expression and tone stay neutral.

Manolo Ferrer: "A lot has happened since I was put on medical leave. Mr. Marcus Troy is running ULOL, apparently having problems with yet another Irishman. Mr. Stank Lord is still trying to lure people into his bed with some fart challenge. Mr. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is still Mr. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing."

The manager pauses.

Manolo Ferrer: "I said a lot has happened since I got injured. That does not mean a lot has changed. What happened to me did not change my priorities in ULOL. That, you may not have known. And now that you do, you can go on your way."

Mr. Ferrer's secretary leads us out of his office.






WHAM!

Another production staff gets slammed into the wall as the fury of one Colton Charles Cai Cobb seem to burn ever so brightly. As other staff members quickly scurry away, C4 grabs the next person passing by who happens to be ULOL's resident intern Bob Bobbie.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Ah... Perfect, what better way to inquire about a worm than by asking another worm... Have you seen Ragki Nikara? That man dared betray me... ME! COLTON CHARLES CAI COBB! He shall bear the brunt on my fury... Now answer my question or you shall end up like that piece of garbage lying over there. People who are useless to me are nothing but garbage."

Bob Bobbie looks at the unconscious broken body of a member of the production crew laying on the side. Fear ran down his spine so many times that Bob Bobbie felt that he developed herniated discs.

Bob Bobbie: "Um... R-Ragki N-Nikara was l-l-last seen in h-his locker r-room... P-please don't h-hurt me..."

Hearing the whereabouts of the man who betrayed him, Colton Charles Cai Cobb releases Bob Bobbie and heads out in search of his prey as the intern breathes in a sigh of relief and the screen fades to black.






The Camera opens up in the locker room showing Allister King and Rupert B. Humperdink talking

Allister King: "Rupert, you want to win the match tonight right?"

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Yipperroonie, if I won, my mommy will take me to Disneyland."

Allister King: "I have here something that will help you win but it will cost you."

Rupert B. Humperdink: "But all I have is my lunch and this note my gran gran gave me."

Rupert takes out the note which turns out to be a hundred dollar bill

Allister King: "Hmm well Rupert that note will only hold you back so why don't ya hand it to me and I will give you this super secret awesome power that will give you the energy to win the match."

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Okie Dok!"

Rupert hands Allister the note

Allister King: "Now Rupert, this here is magic pixie dust that will make you super strength and super fast."

Allister takes out a small bag filled with a white powder.

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Golly is it really pixie dust like the one from Peter Pan?"

Allister King: "Yep but it is used a little different than that. Ya see I got this from a magical warlock assassin with the blood of a tiger."

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Neat-o!"

Allister King: "What ya do is sniff it up your nose. You can use it in a line or with a key. Here I will do ya a few lines."

Allister makes 3 lines on a DVD case of Two and a Half Men that he just happened to have.

Allister King: "Use this to sniff all 3 of them. It may hurt at first but you will soon feel the effects boil up inside you."

Allister rolls up the note into a cylinder shape and hands it to Rupert

Allister King: "Go ahead but I want that note back."

Rupert sniffs all 3 lines and Allister has a big smile on his face. Rupert hands the note back

Allister King: "Feel any different."

Rupert B. Humperdink: I don't know, I feel strange like I can do anything like Spongebob Squarepants. I feel really really strange."

Allister King: "Good that's it kicking in. Now go get ready for your match."

Rupert B. Humperdink: "YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

Rupert runs out the door

Allister King: "Nothing beats taking advantage of a mentally disabled person to lighten up your day."

Allister does a little dance as the camera fades to black.




VS

Jim Jackson: “Weeell our next match features our own masked friend Enigma going against our very own pirate man Captain Sebastian Wolf!!”

Brad Blood: “Pirate man? Tis just pirate yer dirty landlubber! Me thinks I be a pirate now!”

Jim Jackson: “Very well! That should make the match even more interesting! Brad Blood pretending to be a pirate! Hooray!”

Brad Blood: “Be tha’ a sliver o’ sarcasm landlubber?”

Jim Jackson: “Heeere comes Jasmine!!”

Jasmine Lee: “This match is scheduled for One Fall! Introducing first, Enigma!!!”

A soothing and spiritual instrumental begins to play as the lights turn dim. After a few seconds pass, Enigma walks out slowly. He raises both hands into the air and point to the roof before outstretching his arms to point to the ring. He lowers his arms and then suddenly leaps forward, rolling onto the edge of the ramp and immediately jumps up to execute a picture perfect somersault. As he lands, pyros placed around the stage and titantron fire off to make a golden explosion.

Enigma walks down the ramp and leaps onto the apron. He then leaps onto the top rope with amazing balance. He then twists so he facing the stage. He then jumps backwards, performing a beautiful backflip. As he lands the four turnbuckles shoot out golden pyros. He then stands a corner of the ring as the lights resume their usual brightness.


Jasmine Lee: “And introducing his opponent, Captain Sebastian Wolf!!!”

Alestorm's Shipwrecked begins to play throughout the arena as the scourge of the seven seas, Captain Sebastian Wolf, makes his way out to the entrance ramp. He takes out his pistol and fires it into the air as a jolly roger falls and covers the tron. He puts his pistol back into its holster before continuing down to the ring. Before he enters the ring, he removes his cutlass and begins to threaten a few of the audience members. With the cutlass still in hand, he walks up the steps and enters the ring. He climbs till one foot is on the top turnbuckle and the other is on the second rope. He raises the cutlass in the air and lets out a pirate yell. He jumps off the turnbuckle, the referee forces him to relinquish his cutlass and pistol. He hands them over and removes his hat and coat before going to his corner.

Brad Blood: “Har har! There be tha’ cap’n o’ one o’ the finest vessels to ev’r sail tha seas! This pirate cannot wait to see wha’ the cap’n does agains’ this masked speed man!”

Jim Jackson: “Me too! These two relatively new wrestlers about to tangle it up! They don’t know a whole lot about each other but this one is bound to entertain us all the same!”

Jasmine Lee: “The referee for this matchup is Sully S. Calawag!! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!!!”

Brad Blood: “Hoorah! The cap’n goes straight in wit’ a big boot righ’ to the face! Hopin’ to slow the speed demon to the cap’ns own pace! Har har!”

Jim Jackson: “Wolf taunting Enigma as he waits for the masked man to find his feet! Wolf with the grapple from behind and he brings Enigma over himself with a hard back suplex!! Wolf now deciding to attack the grounded Enigma!! Spreading out the right arm of Enigma and stomps down hard right onto the forearm!! Enigma retracting the arm in pain!!”


Brad Blood: “The cap’n now be lockin’ in tha’ hammerlock!! Hopin’ tha’ this masked crusader will give in! Usin’ tha’ arm ‘e jus’ stamped his big boot on! Lucky ‘e didn’ have tha’ boot up ‘is ‘airy backside! The cap’n gots a big boot ya see! Ya really wouldn’ wan’ tha’ goin’ where the sun don’ shine! I ‘eard the cap’n trains wit’ the ring ‘e gots aboard his vessel!”


Jim Jackson: “Righto! Wolf still has the hammerlock locked in tight!! Enigma not planning on tapping out and Wolf realising that he needs more pressure and he does so!! Almost pulling the arm all the way around to the left side!! Enigma shaking his head in defiance!!”


Brad Blood: “Harhar! Tha’ boy be in the middle o’ nowheres! Com’ on Enigman gives in! Ya know ya want ‘o! Wai’! Wha’s tha’ masked landlubber doin’ now?!?!?”

Jim Jackson: “Enigma summoning some strength as he powers up to his feet!!! And with the elbows to the face he breaks out of the hold! Wolf resisting that somewhat as he lifts Enigma into the air hoping to get in that back suplex!! But Enigma counters and he spins in the air to DDT Wolf into the canvas!!! What impressive athleticism there from Enigma!!”

Brad Blood: “Arrrg!”

Jim Jackson: “Cat got your tongue Cabin Boy Brad?”

Brad Blood: “I ain’ no cabin boy yer bastard! Ya better watch ya tongue else I’s make ya walk tha’ plank! Enigman pinning tha’ shoulders o’ tha’ cap’n!! Come on cap’n!”

Sully S. Calawag: “One! Two!!”

Jim Jackson: “Only a two count this time! Enigma planning a high risk manoeuvre though as he decides to go to the top rope! Waiting for Wolf to get to his feet!! Wolf turns around and he’s met with a flying Enigma!!! With the flying crossbody!! But Wolf catches Enigma midair!!! Wolf throws Enigma into the air to reposition for a big spinebuster!!!”

Brad Blood: “Harhar! ‘e’ll be feelin’ tha’ in tha’ mornin’!”

Jim Jackson: “Wolf with the pin!”

Sully S. Calawag: “One! Two!! Thr…”

Jim Jackson: “Painfully close there for the scurvy pirate! Wolf looking to continue his attack as he brings Enigma to his feet! Wolf now sending Enigma into the corner with an irish whip! Wolf taking a step back and gives himself a run up!! Wolf looking to slam all his weight right into Enigma!! But he gets met with a boot from Enigma!! Enigma quickly sitting onto the turnbuckle as he looks for crossbody once again!!! And he lands it!! Enigma straight into the pin from the crossbody!”

Sully S. Calawag: “One! Two!! Thr…”

Brad Blood: “Ahar!! Jus’ a two!!”

Jim Jackson: “But a close call all the same!! Enigma going top turnbuckle once again!! He’s already put the pirate in his grave can put the gold with him and finish this one off? Enigma now blind to the actions of Wolf as he turns his back and prepares for the Springboard Inverted 450 Splash!! Enigma leaps backwards but Wolf has moved!!! Enigma though somehow knocks the referee down as he crashes down to the canvas!! Wolf trying to take advantage of the situation but Enigma is quickly back to his feet!!”


Brad Blood: “Darn! Tha’ menace sure is fast!”

Jim Jackson: “Enigma has Wolf’s arm twisted around and Enigma about to twist it some more in the awesome way that he does it but Wolf resists!! But Wolf just kicked Enigma right to the privates!!! And Enigma crumples to the canvas in pain!! The arena now full of boos after that low blow!! And the referee didn’t see a thing!!”

Brad Blood: “Harhar! Thar be tha’ big ol’ boot of the cap’ns!! Righ’ ta where ya really don’ wan’ tha’ boot ta go!! The cap’n ‘as tha’ shoul’ers down!!”

Jim Jackson: “And the referee just about rousing from the hit he took!!”

Sully S. Calawag: “One… Two… Three…”

Brad Blood: “Yohohoho!! The cap’n won! The cap’n won!! Yeeehooo!!”

Jasmine Lee: “The winner of this matchup by way of pinfall, Captain Sebastian Wolf!!!”

Jim Jackson: “The referee was out and didn’t see that!!! What is this company coming to?”

Brad Blood: “When there be gold in fron’ o’ ya, ya take it! An’ tha’s exactly wha’ tha’ good cap’n did! An’ now ‘e won tha’ match fair an’ square! Harhar!!”

Jim Jackson: “For some reason that actually made sense!!”

Brad Blood: “O’ course it did ye fool!! Only land folks like yerself take heed o’ yer conscious! Some o’ the people in this comp’ny think too much!”

Jim Jackson: “Thank you oh great powerful wise pirate!! But sometimes people who do think like to win cleanly and have the good company of friends!! We’ll be right back folks right after some of this!!!”






The scene opened up to Jim leaning against the wall way from the desk, the door right next to him as his left hand still rubbed the sore spot on the back of his head from the cane shot at the PPV. Finally done he crossed his arms over his chest and looked up to speak to the boss. His tone of voice was surprisingly calm considering what was going on.

Jim Rival: "So I need to get something straight, one of two things happened over the pat...month, two months. Either you decided on a different right hand man...or woman in this case...or you just left me in the dark just to make everything more believable. "

Jim reached into his jacket, pulling out his cigarette in a casual manner. After lighting it he placed the contents back to the inside pocket and exhaled the smoke. His attention turning back to Marcus.

Jim Rival: "I have to admit I am impressed..."


Marcus Troy: "Another right hand man? You got it wrong Mr. Rival... Raven is not my right hand man, you still are. Raven has different duties..."

A wry grin appears on Marcus Troy's face...

Marcus Troy: "Now you shall still reap the benefits of being loyal to me, but now you do understand that someone else needs your loyalty as well... Now as much as I do enjoy your company, I also am a man..."

The general manager of ULOL looks at Rival waiting for a reply.


Jim listened quietly to the reply as he puffed on his cigarette before giving a smirk and a nod in return.

Jim Rival: "I assume you are speaking of Miss Connoly, she has my loyalty as well with no qualm or complaint. After all I have no personal ill will against her."

He chuckled for a bit before placing the now small cigarette into his hand, his left eye twitching slightly from the burning sensation as he balled his fist over it to ensure it was out.

Jim Rival: "All understandable, just need a bit of clarification."

Jim pushed himself off the wall, moving to the door before pausing and looking over his shoulder.

Jim Rival: "Before I go, is there anything or anyone you need taken care of?"


Marcus Troy thinks for a while before replying...

Marcus Troy: "Well so far it seems that our biggest threats are all more or less neutralized. Zombie has been incapacitated by Kamaura, The Morbidly Obese Man is off with his war against Q... The only one that would need attention would be Shogun..."

Marcus Troy goes into deep thought...

Marcus Troy: "Hmm... Shogun definitely is a stray dog that must be put down. You already lost to him once so be cautious... Shogun has always been targeting me and it seems he's going for Raven too..."


Jim just gave a small smile before nodding.

Jim Rival: "I wouldn't worry too much about him, I have an old mentor to call upon now to help deal with him. Besides, he was only lucky because someone did some interference."

With that he bowed his head politely to Marcus before beginning to walk out.

Jim Rival: "I will remain in contact Mister Troy."


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2011   Sun Nov 06, 2011 7:48 pm



The scene opens with Lex Lexington smiling into the camera. Lex is standing backstage as he gets ready to introduce his interviewee.

Lex Lexington: "Hello people of ULOL! I'm pleased to introduce Fettel Marston!"

Fettel Marston walks into the sight of the camera and he nods in acknowledgement. He waves at the camera.

Fettel Marston: "Hi mum."

Lex Lexington raises an eyebrow and smiles at the troubled wrestler.

Lex Lexington: "So Mr. Marston you have a match here tonight with GoodFella and Schwarz. Feeling good about this one?"

Fettel Marston: "I am! Brostar and myself have beaten them before and we'll sure as hell do it again! It may not have been in a Two On Two but we can deal with these two no problem!"

Lex Lexington: "There is one key factor in this one though tonight! Manolo Ferrer! Thoughts?"

Fettel Marston: "Manolo Ferrer? I've not met him but I know what he did as a manager for those two! It's impressive but he won't bring them to win tonight! A manager can only sit and watch as opponents rip his team apart!"

Lex Lexington: "What does um ... "Dad" make of Manolo Ferrer?"

Fettel's expression changes to one of deep thought. He looks at Lex Lexington and smiles.

Dad: "Manolo Ferrer has been MIA for a while. While, as Fettel says, he is a good manager. He brought a great tag title reign to his puppets. I do not underestimate him but he will not bring his team to win tonight! Brostar and Marston are a team that he does not know. We are quick, fast and technical! He will not be able to keep up with the pace! And that is how we will beat GoodFella and Schwarz! They too will not be able to keep up with our pace!"

Lex Lexington: "So what are the plans for the future?"

Dad: "We train! We fight! And we WILL win! We will beat GoodFella and Schwarz! And we will beat ... The Northern Kings!"

Lex Lexington: "One more match right?"

Dad: "No. We earn the title matches! No matter how many times we lose we will earn the right to fight King and Callahan and will continue to do so until WE are at that position at the top of the Tag Team League!"

With that being said Fettel Marston walks away and the scene closes with Lex Lexington looking perplexed as he watches Marston walk down the corridor.






Artificial Fear's metal cover of "Song of Storms," without the music box playing, blares out of the speakers as Leon walks down to the ring. He stops before the ring and if people are cheering, throws his grey fedora into the crowd, otherwise its on the ground. He then dramatically pulls of his trench coat, drops it on the ground, and enters the ring.

Leon Hinomoto: "I have news for you, Ray, and news for all of you!"

Leon Hinomoto points to everyone in the audience.

Leon Hinomoto: "As of today, I, "The Rainman" am back and officially through with the DWMA!"

The crowd goes in to an uproar.

Leon Hinomoto: "Now Ray, I have one thing to say! I challenge YOU!"

"Sound Of Madness" by Shinedown starts to play as Ray Kamaura walks out and says No then returns to the back.

Leon Hinomoto: "Fine then. If my old friend does not wish to challenge me, then who will accept? It's been a while since I've had a human opponent."

Leon looks around at the crowd.

"Show Goes On" plays as Brostar enters the stage with a mic in his hand, the crowd cheer loud for him as he poses for them. He turns his attention to Leon and speaks.

Brostar: "Leon, nice to see you back."

Brostar: "You are issuing an open challenge to anyone on the roster, and I have come out here to accept. I'm going to show you that you should never make an open challenge because you never know who will accept."

Brostar: "I'm am not really worried about my tag match later tonight because I know I and Fettel can beat GoodFella & Schwarz, after that I'm going to beat and the week after that I'm going to get some pay back on Ragki for taking my money."


He finishes speaking as his music hits and he returns to the back.


Leon Hinomoto: "So I'll be taking on Brostar. This should be a good fight."

Leon Hinomoto walks out of the ring and fades through the entrance with the words good luck.





Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity,and right now GoodFella is very happy with the return of Manolo Ferrer. It looks like everything is going back to normal. As it was before the man who betrayed him yes that man name was Taufik. He and another man which Arnold despice now put Manolo into the hospital.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold:" This is the greatest day in the world Felix. Manolo has returned. I feel so confident and it looks like I have a lot of energy. It is the meaning that we will beat Brostar and Marston and we will make an example out of them."

He looks at Felix Schwarz which is sitting on the armchair. And he is like in the deep thoughts.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold:"Felix you hear what I just did said? "

Arnold comes closer but he is still not responding. He punches him and that‘s what brings him back to life.

Felix Schwarz: "Hey no need to punch me. Sorry what you said I didn‘t heard I was preparing for our match against two morons by meditating.You know it really helps a lot.You should try that too but anyway I think we shall go now. Shall we?"

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold:"Well I guess we should."

Felix closes the door as both guys heads to the backstage area.






"Sound Of Madness" by Shinedown starts to play as Ray Kamaura, The leader of the DWMA, begins striding towards the ring. His seven foot frame towers over everything until he comes to the apron. Ray grabs the top rope and steps onto the ring then over the ropes into the ring. He swiftly moves to a turnbuckle and climbs it raises on arm into the air. Ray jumps down and picks up a microphone off of the ring apron.

Ray Kamaura: "Zombie is history."

Ray Kamaura takes a moment to reflect on the actions of the past week.

Ray Kamaura: "UJJ and Andrew Hunter are history."

Ray Kamaura smiles and looks around himself. Nothing looking for anything but still looking.

Ray Kamaura: "I am still alive and with me is the fire that is The DWMA."

The proud giant standing tall in the ring looks to the ramp and continues his promo.

Ray Kamaura: "Yuki, you are welcome to return if you wish. Now I'll get down to business. Last week I destroyed Zombie, "Unstoppable" Jerkoff Johnson, and Andrew Hunter. So now I look to the locker room and simply ask, Who's next. I have sometime to fill before my championship regin begins, so come on out and test your luck. Unless the ULOL locker room is fill with pansy. Raven? Shogun? Rival? Bakla? The Northern Kings? Anyone brave enough? How about you Troy, do you have any ideas?"

Ray lowers the mic and waits for a response by anyone and everyone who dares accept his challenge.


'Black and White' by Bleeding in Stereo begins blaring over the arena. The fans start to cheer loudly as 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson walks out from behind the curtain dressed in his ring attire. He is clutching his waist and has a slight limp.. Or does he? He smiles at Ray before jogging to the ring. He enters the ring and eyes Ray, before climbing a turnbuckle and taunts to the fans. He climbs down and picks up a microphone near the edge of the ring. The music fades and UJJ begins to speak.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Just when I thought that nothing has really changed around here, I end up drawing with Andrew Hunter. But probably the biggest change here is that Ray Kamaura has FINALLY grown a pair of balls."

The fans cheer and laugh at UJJ's statement.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "But you know what Ray, I don't blame you for doing what you did at the PPV. Hell if I were in your big shoes, I would have done the same thing. Because you wanted to make a statement. You wanted the champion to know that you are coming for him, and you wanted to let the most dangerous obstacle in your little 'journey to success' that you aren't afraid of me."

UJJ breaks off momentarily

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "So as I said, It's a very simple and well laid out plan. But, I am not 'history' as you put it. You attacked me after my match last week and I will not let you get away with it."

UJJ stares at Ray with cold and venomous eyes.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Now there are two ways we could sort out our little problem Ray. The first way is that I could get you back, and beat the living shit out of you right now. Or I could answer your silly little open challenge and we settle this inside the ring, next week. Your choice Ray."

UJJ lowers the microphone.


Ray Kamaura looked in UJJ's eyes and raised the microphone.

Ray Kamaura: "It's about damn time someone walked out here. But sadly it had to be you. Don't you remember our last match? Despite being hit over the head with a ring bell, I still beat you and Bloodflame to become the number one contender. Also last week, I destroyed you and Andrew Hunter."

Ray took a step back and turned slightly away from UJJ

Ray Kamaura: "Nobody on this entire roster is at my level, not even YOU! Did you see how I basically killed Zombie? How about when I lifted TMOM over my head and smashed his lifeless body to the mat.? If you want to be next to fall to me than so be it. I have no problem putting your monkey ass back into place. So next week, I'm going to show you just how stoppable you really are."

"Sound Of Madness" by Shinedown starts to play as Ray Kamaura exits the ring and proceeds to make his way up the ramp.


However, he is stopped half way up the ramp by his music being cut off. What? Whether or not Ray made it up the ramp was never mentioned!

Replacing the "Sound of Madness" is none other than "New Divide", by Linkin park, erupting throughout the arena, causing the crowd to give a thunderous pop. Andrew Hunter, carrying his title around his waist with pride, walks out from below the Titan Tron. Striking a pose for the fans, it becomes more apparent that he has a microphone in his hand. Andrew Hunter procedes to walk out, closer to the currently unspecified, presumably halfway up the ramp, spot where Ray currently stands. He stops prior to reaching Ray, however, as he plants his feet in a surprisingly firm manner. The 'Stroke-of-Luck' champion procedes to raise the mic up to his lips.


Andrew Hunter: "Dude, just... just don't."

Andrew Hunter: "I'm not sure if I'm the only one who gets a strange premonition of things to come, but I can see the end of this, sure to be month-long, little exchange you started. But really, just from recent events, everyone already knows what's gonna come of this..."


Andrew Hunter, who apparently thought everyone DID know what would happen, takes his sweet time in raising the mic back to his lips.

Andrew Hunter: "Let's see... Jack Johnson beats you next week, Zombie makes an appearance, I come out for the hell of it, Raven chuckles backstage, a week passes, Zombie eats one of Q's countrymen, TMOM eats something, Q gets upset, I probably have a match, Raven makes fun of my skills but pays more attention to her daddy, I continue to overuse commas, Marcus Troy decides it would be funny if you were #1 competitor so he makes you one, Jack Johnson gets upset, he somehow gains a title fight as well, the Pay-per-view comes, I get owned the entire match, zombie comes out and eats you, Q comes out and runs over Zombie with a Volks Wagon, David Connoly decides to come out, Raven gets distracted, Jack Johnson stares at Q, (whom does something only Q can and would do), and I somehow manage to win again. The next week, you're fine but you complain to Troy, who makes your title prohibition 730 days long."

Andrew Hunter, with very labored breathing, leans forward as he struggles for air after such a long sentence. After he does so, and since neither of the other two men have said anything, he raises the mic back to his lips.

Andrew Hunter: "ULOL in a nut shell ladies and gents. Might as well get to saying something face-like... Oh right, it doesn't take any guts to attack, even the world's best fighters, as we probably are, after such an intense match. The likes of which neither of us manage to rise back to our feet from."

Andrew Hunter: "Now, just picture that, would you? We hit eachother with everything we had. We matched wit, engaged in skill, tested strengths, and we proved to be about even in the end. And then out comes Ray Kamaura, throwing his usualy hissy fit. With both of us barely able to remember our own names, Jack Johnson and myself actually were... errm... pwned. (Yes, I'm addicted to the internet. Happy?) And Ray Kamaura actually thinks that he proved something through that?"

Andrew Hunter: "Okay, picturing that yet? Now imagine that he decides to brag about it. Because he, in all his glory, made us history?"


Andrew chuckles lightly, although quite mockingly, staring directly in Ray's empty eyes.

Andrew Hunter: "Since the open challenge was already accepted, my rant from earlier was kind of pointless, but really; unless you want your little blaze of glory to end badly, just stay down for once after someone proves to be your better. Or at least find a more effective way to get what you want."

Andrew Hunter, deciding he's said enough, makes his way off the scene, demonstrating the proper way to leave a promo by disappearing backstage.


Ray Kamaura cuts off Andrew Hunter before he can leave the arena.

Ray Kamaura: "How about a two on one handicap match? Andrew Hunter and Jack Jerkoff against Ray Kamaura!"

Ray Kamaura drops his microphone at Andrew Hunter's feet and mockingly walks out.


Andrew Hunter, out of reflexive habit, kicks the microphone, causing it to whiz by Ray Kamaura's head and hit the floor with VERY loud static.

Andrew Hunter: "Handicap match? Weren't you out here bragging about the DWMA to begin with? Wait, no... Leon's gonna get very scraped up in his match against Brostar... Even match, after all."

Andrew, pondering the decision, begins scratching his scalp. After a couple seconds, and throwing a few stray strands of his hair at Ray Kamaura, Andrew Hunter shakes his head.

Andrew Hunter: "Ray, you know I'm all about fair fights. Tell you what, find a tag partner and I'd be more than happy to help Jack out next week. But otherwise, throwing me into the mix just seems like overkill..."

Andrew, realizing that he kicked Ray's mic away, reaches into his brown jacket, (What? I did too mention that he was wearing his favorite brown jacket!), and comes out with another microphone in hand. He tosses it at Ray Kamaura's feet as the giant had done just moments ago to him.


Ray Kamaura kicks away the microphone and yells to Hunter, "I'll find a partner." Ray turned around and walked out.

Jack Johnson stares at Andrew Hunter. Then cracks a small smirk as he exits the ring and goes behind the curtain.





The Cameras open up to show the happy go lucky atmosphere that is exuded from the place that is known throughout ULOL, or even the world for that matter, as the sanctuary. Samantha King is running the place, temporarily while Allister is off on ''Business''. The Laughter of the place suddenly goes silent as the howl of wolves is heard. The Snow White Beauty and the Princess of the Arctic, Aurora Borealis, walks accompanied by her loyal companions into the area.

Samantha King: "Sorry but no dogs allowed."

Aurora Borealis: What did you just say?

Samantha King: "I said No Dogs Allowed. It's that simple."

Aurora Borealis: "These aren't ''dogs'' madame, these are pure breed arctic wolves whose worth by far surpasses that of your own."

Samantha King: "Who said I was talking about the wolves, Bitch?"

Aurora Borealis: "Comment osez-vous me parler comme ça?"
(TL: How dare you talk to me like that?)


Samantha King: "Speak English, ya snobby rich bastard. You think just because you can speak French you have the right to look down on us? Éist go dlúth, más rud é nach bhfuil tú ag fuck amach anseo ar an luath, tá muid ag dul go bhfuil fadhb."

Aurora Borealis: "Excusez-moi?"

Samantha King: "I said ''If you don't get the FUCK out of here soon, we are going to have a problem''. What's the matter bitch? Don't speak the Celtic language?"

Aurora Borealis: "Why on earth would I even want to learn such a vulgar language?"

Samantha King: "Vulgar Language? The Celts were the greatest warriors there was. Vikings feared the Celts. The English feared what we could do, so they enslaved us and took our land. We were shipped to Australia and America, as proclaimed as ''Convicts'' for fighting back. The one thing I have kept from my ancestor, besides the red hair, is the fact I know how to kick the every loving shit clean out of you. So you get the hell out before I smash that pretty face of yours in with my boot."

Aurora Borealis: "Je pars maintenant mais je vais être de retour et la prochaine fois que je ne vous laissera hors cela à la légère. Angelus Lucien Allez!"
(TL: I am leaving now but i will be back and next time i wont let you off this lightly. Angelus, Lucien, Come!)


Aurora and the wolves leave

Samantha King: "Stupid blonde, skinny assed bitch. Tiocfaidh ár lá agus Erin go bragh."

The Camera fades to black as some random patriots shouts ''Wooo Cat Fight''


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2011   Sun Nov 06, 2011 7:48 pm

&

VS

&

Jim Jackson: "We have a tag match coming next, it's Brostar & Marston versus GoodFella & Schwarz... Can Brostar & Marston stand against the revitalized GoodFella & Schwarz?"

Brad Blood: "With Manolo Ferrer back on the helm, GoodFella & Schwarz may stop being a joke..."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a tag team match scheduled for one fall, introducing first the team of Brostar and Fettel Marston, Brostar & Marston!"

Jim Jackson: "What the?! GoodFella & Schwarz just jumped Brostar & Marston as they exit the entrance tunnel! Are those brass knuckles?! Brostar just got nailed on the jaw with those brass knuckles! Brostar is down! "

Brad Blood: "Felix Schwarz just threw Marston off the top of the entrance ramp! GoodFella & Schwarz start beating down on Brostar... Oh man, we may not even have a match here... GoodFella & Schwarz are just brutally assaulting Brostar... Schwarz has Brostar up in a full Nelson... GoodFella with his brass knuckles start throwing blows to Brostar's liver!"

Jim Jackson: "WAIT! IT'S THE NORTHERN KINGS! ALLISTER KING AND SHADOW CALLAHAN COME OUT AND SAVES BROSTAR! The Northern Kings and GoodFella & Schwarz start brawling! They are brutally attacking each other... Security has come out to separate the two teams to no avail!"

Brad Blood: "The two teams brawl their way to the back! The tag champs sure are paying GoodFella & Schwarz back for last week. It seems that this match is a bust... EMTs come out to check on both Brostar and Marston..."




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Yuki Monotomo walks out to the ring and looks at the crowd. He stares at them before beginning to speak.

Yuki Monotomo: "Really!? What the hell!? I'm now in a 10-Man Match! I didn't know this before tonight! I get a call to come in from Ray, damn it, Ray! I was planning on having a nice evening with some nice girls with wine and movies! Now I'm here in this arena to wrestle against, where's my list?!"

Yuki pulls out a small piece of paper that looks like a napkin. He opens it up and begins reading and criticizing.

Yuki Monotomo: "Aurora Borealis, to begin, isn't even a man, and can't be understood half the time. I don't speak Japanese all the time to everyone here, so come on princess, meet me backstage after the match, I won't hurt you much. Boy Bakla, um, I really don't want comment on. What is there that isn't obvious? If I insult or compliment he slash she, they will attack me, and not with a steel chair. Speaking of steel chairs, Ragki Nikara is in this match as well. Well that sucks because he just betrayed his other paycheck and now wants to maximize this one. I bet I could drop a quarter and he'd go after it! But he'd have to wrestle Rupert B. Humperdink for the shiny coin! I haven't even HEARD of Gina "The Wild" Sheridan before this match to begin with, so she can't be all that good, but hey, there's always room in the harem."

The ladies' man flips over his list to the other side and begins reading once more.

Yuki Monotomo: "Little Wang will be puntable and Nao Fook Mi will be... Well come on, let's get some Asian action on backstage. Taufik... I don't have to talk about him anymore. I think I've done enough to him. He's terrible, that's about it. "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson is... well louder than the damn gorillas! Walter would probably be quieter that he is."

He looks out in the crowd again before he walks back toward the the ramp shouting "THIS IS A JOKE!"






A gold SUV screeches as it rushes past a red light, leaving a chorus of honking motorists in its wake as it speeds down the street.

Those who follow the ULOL recognize the SUV. The timestamp on the recording is the day of the Fantastico event.

Inside, we see the man who is perhaps most associated with this gold SUV. He is busy on the phone, on a very hasty, desperate conversation.

He is none other than the disguised daredevil of the ring. He is known to billions only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: [This is a disaster which should never have happened in the first place! I know we are still rebuilding! But how did he beat our army! How could this have happened!]

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is not the only one making on the phone. His companions, who have accompanied him from his homeland, are also busy trying to reach the families they have left behind.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: [How can you say you did not see him coming! Have you seen how big this man is!]

He listens while the other person on the line tries to explain, but is distracted by the anguished cry of one of his countrymen, who is one of the many journalists reporting on their masked countryman's every move.

Reporter: [That fat bastard's got my children! I don't know where my wife is!]

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: [That overweight ogre wants me to fight him on his terms! He wants this fight to be done in our country! So he can defeat me in front of all our people! We will fly back! And we will stop that cheeky cliff of cellulite's new hobby of enslavement!]

Reporter 2: [We gotta kill him!]

Reporter 3: [We gotta carve him up like a roast pig!]

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing and his countrymen's angry promises of justice and retribution are loudly interrupted by the screech of tires, the crunching of metal on metal, and the shattering of glass.






Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to the center with a mic in hand.

Boy Bakla: "I really don't know how to go about this... Anyhoo here it is... Last week Shoggie defeated me but after the match, instead of getting persecuted, I was given a new clean slate by Eunice..."

Bakla's voice trails off and the transsexual superstar then begins to chuckle to itself.

Boy Bakla: "Who would have thought that the outcome will be like that? It seems that all this time, I was creating my own demons. I spent the whole week contemplating and reflecting upon my fabulous self... Just like yesterday's fashion, I shall discard my old self and start fresh. So be prepared y'all, tonight is the birth of a new Bakla and in that battle royale, I shall show you what a new Bakla is capable of."

Bakla smiles to itself, happy at its new resolve as it exits the ring and heads to the back as Cher's "Believe" starts to play again on the speakers.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 11/06/2011   Sun Nov 06, 2011 7:49 pm



The scene fades into the ULOL backstage, interview area. ULOL's proud interviewer, Lex Lexington, stands a few feet away from the camera, with his microphone raised to his lips, he speaks.

Lex Lexington: "Ladies and Gentlemen, my guest at this time is Jack Johnson!"

Cheers from the audience can be heard (They are viewing this from the titantron) as the big man himself comes into view, dressed in his ring gear, he greets Lex.

Lex Lexington: "Now Jack, earlier this evening we saw the confrontation between you, Ray and our current Primo Ultimo Champion Andrew Hunter. Which has left us with a possible tag team match, with you tagging with Hunter. What are your thoughts on this?"

"Unstoppale" Jack Johnson:"I think its a great way to settle our differences. Ray attacked me and Hunter last week and its clear that neither of us are willing to let Ray get away with it. It doesn't matter who Ray chooses for his partner next week, Because him or her is gonna be on the receiving end of a brutal beatdown, just like Ray will."

Lex Lexington: "You do have a match tonight, our main event of our first anniversary show to determine a new number one contender for the Primo Ultimo title. What are your chances?"

UJJ takes a deep breath before answering.

"Unstoppale" Jack Johnson: "Yes, I am in the main event of our first anniversary show. As many would remember, I was in the first main event of our first show too. So it's nice to see that I haven't dropped or lost my main event status over the past year. Now as for my opponents tonight, they will be hungry. A lot of them will never get this opportunity again. It's harsh but true. It's a make or break night for a lot of my opponents. But sadly, I will be the one to face Hunter for the Primo Ultimo, for the second time."






The scene opens in the locker room of the Oriental Spices where we see both Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi lounging casually.

Little Wang: "Maybe we should take a break..."

Little Wang looks at Fook Mi who has a confused look in her eyes.

Little Wang: "I mean, let's face it, after our latest loss, I think it may be better for us to take a break from the tag division. Maybe hone our skills individually and become stronger before competing as a team again. Truth be told I think you also know it... That I am a liability as I am right now. I get my wins by pure luck, and in the team, it is you holding both our weights up."

Little Wang holds up his hand and prevents his partner from reacting.

Little Wang: "I know what you are going to say Fook Mi, but I have thought about this for quite some time now. If I am able to get myself stronger by competing in singles matches then I'd be able to pull my own weight when we become active as a tag team again."

Little Wang hops down from his seat and walks over to Fook Mi.

Little Wang: "This is my decision, I hope you respect it Fook Mi."

The midget wrestler waits for his partner to reply.


Nao Fook Mi sighs deeply before looking at her partner and replying.

Nao Fook Mi: "With your mind made up like that, I shall not stop you Wang."

Then a smile comes upon the oriental beauty's lips.

Nao Fook Mi: "I shall wait for you then my friend. The day Oriental Spices come back is the day we shall take the ULOL tag division again by storm. I shall look forward to that day."

Fook Mi rises and walks over to Little Wang and grins at her partner.

Nao Fook Mi: "With that being said, I look forward to competing against you in that battle royale later tonight. You'd better be ready since I shall not hold back..."

Little Wang grins back at Fook Mi as both wrestler clasp arms as a sign of respect and friendship as the scene fades to black.






"Hybird Stigmata-the Apostasy" by Dimmu Borgir hits the speakers suddenly as the lights in the arena begin flashing on and off. As soon as the first lyric is screamed Shogun bursts out from the hind the curtain and stands on the entrance ramp, throwing his arm up with a loud yell causing a loud pop of cheers from the crowd. Shogun then begins walking down the ramp though with a noticable limp due to his match with Boy Bakla, eyes still showing the same intensity that have painted them for years. He manages to rolls himself into the ring and hop onto a turnbuckle to pose to the crowd, cawsing a string of cheers. Shogun then limps over to a ring attendent where he takes a microphone and begins to speak.

Shogun Shogunsen: "What a pay per view folks! We managed to go an entire show without me being screwed over! My leg may hurt like hell right now but I defeated Bakla in what almost seems like a pointless best of five series that ended up giving certain individuals enough time to completely massacre this company!"

Shogun Shogunsen: "I never thought I would be able to come out and say that compared to my mistakes and Raven Connoly's I look like a fucking saint. The former Demonic God looks like the tooth fairy compared to the girl who probably doesn't have a shred of dignity in her entire body!"

Shogun Shogunsen: "I mean think of the questions! How much did Marcus really have to pay to get Raven in bed with him? Is Raven really just the slut Brad Blood wants her to be? How long is it going to take before this pairing pisses me off?"

Shogun takes a moment to pause before going on.

Shogun Shogunsen: "Well the answer to that last question is simple. I'm already pissed off! I'm pretty damn sure everyone in this roster who is not in Troy's pocket will agree with me in that this Troy crap has gone too far!"

Shogun Shogunsen: "I think the one person who could possibly be as angry about this as I am is Connoly! You can't possibly take this bullshit lying down! I don't know you well enough to be making this assumption, but something tells me that you are not the type to let someone play with your emotions! Troy and Raven manipulated you for months and now it has come to this."

Shogun Shogunsen: "Come out here and help me stop this from spiraling further out of control! Together we can end Troy once and for all!"


"Shut Me Up" by Mindless Self Indulgence erupts over the arena speakers. After a few moments Connoly walks out onto the stage, he is wearing a green plaid kilt, white t-shirt, and a long black leather coat, the Correa Grande Del Oro De Connoly around his waist. He has his cane again and has a large metal brace on his left knee, his body once again covered in bandages. He has a serious look on his face as he makes his way down the ramp, he pauses for a moment and motions for someone to bring him a mic. He grabs a mic from a stagehand and makes his way into the ring.

Connoly: "First of all, I know everyone has a lot of emotions running through them right now, but I'd advise you to refrain from calling my daughter a slut, lest you want my boot crammed down your throat. Having said that, now lets continue on to more pressing issues, because right now I find myself in quite a spot."


Connoly walks over to the corner and leans against the turnbuckle.

Connoly: "As you can see my PPV match once again took its toll, as a matter of fact I was once again put into the hospital. One of the people who put me there was my own daughter, Raven Connoly."


The crowd begins to boo loudly Connoly puts his hand up to quite the crowd down.


Connoly: "However, my daughter is also the one who rode in the ambulance with me to the hospital, and was one of the people who was at that hospital with me until I was released. What I'm saying is she is my daughter, and I made her what she is, and no matter how wretched she is, she is still my daughter, and I'm still her father. Now lets look at that match from a different point of view, lets replace Raven with you Shogun. You have a match to be the number one contender for ULOL's top title, and one of your opponents has a injured knee, are you telling me you aren't going to take advantage of that? If you are telling me that your either an idiot or a liar, because we would all take advantage, that's what we are trained to do. That's what I trained her to do, because its what I would do, it's what anyone else in that locker room would do, I taught her to do whatever it takes to win. Trust me, I don't have time to go into my past tonight, but I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who know I have done some pretty horrible things during my career, and I'm not going to be the pot calling the kettle black, especially when I'm the one who helped make the kettle black."


Connoly walks back to the center of the ring.


Connoly: "Now, having said that, this only gets more sticky, because I still hate Troy's god damn guts, and would love to knock all his teeth down his throat. I have never been more disgusted in my life than when I saw Raven kiss that son of a bitch, it still makes me sick thinking about it. What can I do about it though!? What can I do Shogun, as much as I hate him, going against him now means going against her, and I can't do that. I won't support him, I won't join him, but how can I fight him now?"


Shogun nods for a moment in thought before speaking.

Shogun Shogunsen: "First of all attacking you knee is something anyone would have doen, thats wrestling. I have nothing against someone attacking a weak spot. The Troy issue is this Connoly, your precious daughter is the one who pretty much took advantage of your emotions hell your whole family has been involved in that famous rivalry she had with Troy! You practically took up arms against Troy because of the things he was doing to screw her over!"

Shogun Shogunsen: "I'm no father, but I've had my emotion played with before. I've done some pretty bullshit things out here, we all know this. But I never manipulated my whole family for months on end just to come out and start making out with a disgusting sack of shit like Marcus Troy! After all these years of being called out by that girl every time I decided to turn a different cheek I feel as if I was being scolded by a hypocrite of the worst kind! I'll refrain from petty name calling and just say that your daughter is just as much to blame as Troy!"

Shogun Shogunsen: "I've been up in arms against Troy for months. I refuse to stop being up in arms against Troy. I will go through ANYONE who decides to get in my way when it comes to destroying this regime. So simply put, If you can't fight against Raven, don't try to stop me when I do."


Connoly: "Now calm down Shogun, I think your misunderstanding me, I never said Raven was innocent in all this, I agree she is just as much to blame as Troy, probably more so. I'm simply stating that I'm not going to stand up her and scold her when I've done plenty of crap myself. I'm also stating I am not going to war with my daughter, nor am I going to war for my daughter. If you want to go after Raven, you go for it, I'm not going to stand in your way, she's a big girl, she made her bed, she can lie in it. I would be fighting a lot of people if I went after every one who challenged my daughter, she's a damn wrestler, she's supposed to fight."

Connoly walks over to Shogun and continues to talk.

Connoly: "But you know what, you do have a point. Raven hasn't done me any favors the past few months, and though I won't go to war with her, I see no reason why I can't go to war with her new love interest. I hate that bastard Troy, and hate him even more now, and I have no problem continuing to make his life a living hell."

Connoly drops his mic and starts to exit the ring.


Just as Connoly is about to climb out of the ring 'Map Of The Problematique' by Muse starts playing throughout the arena. Connoly stops suddenly and looks up at the stage. A wall of flames shoot up across the stage floor, after a few moments Raven Connoly emerges through the flames. She has the ULOL Campeón no Masculino draped over her left shoulder, the crowd erupts in insults and boos, to a almost riotous point as Raven makes her way down the ramp. Connoly climbs back into the ring and looks at Raven with a confused and irritated look. He backs up and stands by Shogun as Raven enters the ring. Raven paces back and forth in front of the two men a few times before she starts to speak.

Raven Connoly: "Neither of you two have any room to talk, or look down on me for what I did. You both have done just as many despicable things as I have, the difference is I'm just better at it. Now I decided to come out here before you two dig yourselves into a deeper hole than your already in. Seems like there has been a lot of rumblings of a war again, a war against Troy. Well, I'm out here to hopefully help you both come to your senses. I don't think I have to remind you what happened the last time you tried to go to war against Troy. Well, it hardley got off the ground before it was stopped. You see all the power is on Troy's side, and he's already got plenty of muscle behind him. What do you have, that old bag Winslow, she's got one foot in the grave already."


Raven smiles as she continues to speak.

Raven Connoly: "I think it would be in your best interest to just let bygones be bygones and walk away from this. I mean look at you Dad, your a damn mess, you really think now is the time to go up against the so called 'regime'. If you enjoy having that belt I would strongly advise against it. Then we have you Shogun, do you really want to give Troy more reasons to fire your ass. Basically boys, if I were you, I would keep a low profile, you know, stay off the radar."

Raven smiles broadly as she walks backwards up against the ropes, and then flips backwards out of the ring and starts to make her way up the ramp. As she makes her way up the ring Connoly turns and looks at Shogun.

Connoly: "You know, if I didn't know better, I would call that a threat. What do you think Shogun?"


Shogun smiles a little before replying.

Shogun Shogunsen: "It sounds as if you are scared of something Raven! Maybe it's that you know you chose the wrong side of the war this time? Maybe you realize that now you can't just manipulate yourself out of this corner? Long ago Marcus Troy was beaten by a woman named Raven Connoly. I don't recognize you as that person any longer..However, I am going to do what the Raven Connoly before you could not do! When this war begins it will be much more than two of the meanest men in the world doing anything and EVERYTHING to destroy Marcus Troy.

Shogun pauses.

Shogun Shogunsen: "The two meanest, most despicable men on the planet are going to have friends. Do you really think that more people won't join our cause? You can threaten to fire me all day long but it won't happen. Troy is too pompous and arrogant to fire me before he breaks my spirit. So before you get yourself all hot and bothered at the thought of having a free run at the Primo Ultimo let me remind you of a little something.

Shogun Shogunsen: "Since you seem to know what kind of despicable things I can do you know what I'm capable of. You know the careers that ended because people decided to try and ruin me! Remember what happens to men like Troy when they fight against people like myself and Connoly!"


Raven puts her hand over her mouth and mockingly acts scared. She reaches the top of the ramp and a wicked smile crawls across her face.

Raven Connoly: "You know I was hoping that was the position you would take. The next few weeks are going to be a whole lot of fun, that I can guarantee."

Raven waves and disappears back stage leaving Connoly and Shogun in the ring as the scene fades.




VS

VS

VS

VS

VS

VS

VS

VS

VS

Jim Jackson: "We have a battle royale as the main event as a special match in celebration for ULOL's one year anniversary. Ten men will get a chance to get a title shot of their choosing."

Brad Blood: "This would be interesting. Ten losers get a chance to lose to a champion. Haha!"

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a ten-man battle royale for the number one contender for any ULOL title. The participants are as follows. Aurora Borealis, Boy Bakla, Gina "The Wild" Sheridan, Little Wang, Nao Fook Mi, Ragki Nikara, Rupert B. Humperdink, Taufik, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson & Yuki Monotomo!"

Jim Jackson: "All ten wrestlers slowly make their way to the ring, no individual entrances this time to save time."

Brad Blood: "I wonder who will win this tonight? If I should predict, my top three in no particular order is that fruitcake Bakla, UJJ and Monotomo"

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! It's mayhem in the ring as everybody is brawling left and right. Oh wait! Ragki Nikara hits a springboard hurricanrana on Taufik... NO! Taufik counters it into a powerbomb! Nikara gets hit hard!"

Brad Blood: "Cat fight! Borealis and Sheridan are going at it! Oriental Spices are double teaming on Monotomo while UJJ is throwing huge punches at Bakla. That retard Rupert is running around singing the Pokemon theme. Wait is that C4? C4 just pulled Ragki Nikara over the top rope as he is using it to climb back up to his feet! He drags Nikara to the steel steps... POWERBOMB! Nikara is down and out!"

Jim Jackson: "Clothesline by Yuki Monotomo takes down Nao Fook Mi. Little Wang tries to attack but runs into Monotomo's boot! Monotomo grabs Rupert B. Humperdink and Irish whips him right into Taufik! Boy Bakla with a low blow and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson crumples to his knees."

Brad Blood: "Borealis just threw Sheridan over the top rope! Sheridan lands on the ring apron. Summer Bold jumps up the ring apron and blocks a right by Borealis that could have sent Sheridan into the ground."

Jim Jackson: "Summer Bold is being called on by the ref... She argues with the official... AND IS THROWN OUT FROM RINGSIDE! THE REF HAS EJECTED BOLD FROM RINGSIDE! Boy Bakla takes "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson down with an armdrag. Snapmare by Yuki Monotomo on Taufik... Nao Fook Mi with a springboard dropkick and Monotomo goes flying to the canvas!"

Brad Blood: "Little Wang from the top turnbuckle... A mini-Senton on Monotomo! Bakla goes after Taufik with a spin kick! Taufik knocks into the Borealis and Sheridan brawling and apologizes to the girls... Sheridan and Borealis take Taufik by the nape... AND THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE! Taufik is gone!"

Jim Jackson: "Nao Fook Mi with a dropkick sends both Aurora Borealis and Gina Sheridan over the top rope! Both girls land on the apron. Fook Mi tries to follow up with a clothesline to eliminate them but a double elbow stops her! Boy Bakla leaps over Fook Mi and hits a dropkick on Sheridan. Sheridan falls out! That's three down!"

Brad Blood: "Borealis hits a backbreaker on Fook Mi. Wang with a springboard elbow slams right into Borealis' boobs! Bakla stuns Wang and punts him into the air! Wang heads straight for Monotomo who catches him in mid-air! Powerslam! Wang gets flattened!"

Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla turns around and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson takes Bakla out with a spear! UJJ tries to throw Bakla over the top rope... Bakla somehow lands on the apron! Yuki Monotomo with a neckbreaker on Rupert B. Humperdink who is innocently humming the theme for Family Guy."

Brad Blood: "UJJ catches Little Wang in mid-air after Wang tries a flying crossbody. He throws Wang over the top rope! Wang is eliminated! Fook Mi with a dropkick sends Borealis reeling. She picks Borealis up on her shoulders, Borealis slips free! Russian legsweep and Fook Mi is down!"

Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo grabs Rupert B. Humperdink's lunchbox from the corner... And throws the lunch box into the crowd! Humperdink leaps over the top rope and into the crowd going after it! Humperdink is gone! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson stuns Monotomo with an uppercut. Sidewalk slam on Monotomo! Boy Bakla with a shoulder block takes Aurora Borealis down, Nao Fook Mi with a wheel kick sends Bakla reeling. Flying knee by Fook Mi and Bakla is sent to the corner!"

Brad Blood: "Borealis with a clothesline to the back of Fook Mi stuns her. DDT! Fook Mi is down! Monotomo tries to put up a fight but is being pummeled by huge rights by UJJ."

Jim Jackson: "Aurora Borealis and Boy Bakla start pulling on each others' hair. they slowly edge towards the ropes... Nao Fook Mi comes charging in with a spinning highkick! Bakla ducks and Fook Mi hits Borealis sending Borealis over the top rope! Aurora Borealis has been eliminated."

Brad Blood: "Bakla whips Fook Mi around and throws her over the top rope! Fook Mi hangs on and lands on the apron. Big boot by Bakla sends Fook Mi down outside! Fook Mi got fooked by Bakla! It's now down to the final three!"

Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo is gets cornered by huge punches by "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson. Boy Bakla sneaks behind UJJ, atomic drop! Monotomo uses this chance to counter with an elbow off the second turnbuckle! Bakla locks UJJ's legs in a figure four... Monotomo climbs up to the top turnbuckle... FLYLING LEG DROP SLAMS RIGHT INTO UJJ!"

Brad Blood: "UJJ is getting double teamed by Bakla and Monotomo! Monotomo with a big lariat from out of nowhere takes Bakla down! Monotomo picks Bakla up and throws it over the top rope! No! Bakla lands on the apron! Monotomo tries to finish off the fairy... Bakla blocks a right hand and counters with an elbow!"

Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo quickly recovers and throws another right. Again he is blocked by Boy Bakla who counters with its own right. "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson recovers and charges towards Monotomo... Monotomo dodges! UJJ SLAMS INTO BAKLA AND SENDS IT OFF THE APRON! BAKLA IS GONE!"

Brad Blood: "We are down to the last two men. Monotomo with a springboard dropkick sends UJJ reeling. Springboard moonsault by Monotomo... IT BACKFIRES AS UJJ BRINGS UP HIS KNEES! Monotomo clutches his midsection in pain. UJJ picks Monotomo up, looks like he's gonna throw Monotomo over the rope..."

Jim Jackson: "Hard elbows by Yuki Monotomo into "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson's head in desperation works as UJJ staggers and releases him. Monotomo and UJJ starts to brawl throwing caution to the wind! Both men are slowly making their way to the ropes."

Brad Blood: "UJJ attempts to throw Monotomo over the top rope... REVERSED! Monotomo blocks and instead sends UJJ over the top rope! UJJ lands on the apron... Monotomo leaps with all his might... UJJ pulls on the top rope and Monotomo goes over! WAIT MONOTOMO ALSO LANDS ON THE APRON! UJJ throws a punch and Monotomo is sent reeling. Monotomo holds on to the rope and throws a punch... NO IT'S A FEINT! Monotomo throws a kick instead and it connects sending UJJ off the apron to the ground!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match Yuki Monotomo!"

Jim Jackson: "YUKI MONOTOMO WINS! MONOTOMO ACTUALLY WINS!"

Brad Blood: "Damn, that last feint was a doozy, now Monotomo gets a title shot!"




Jim Jackson: "What a night, what an anniversary show. Things are certainly heating up here in ULOL, and it seems a new war is brewing."

Brad Blood: "I know, things are certainly picking up and it's just the start of the month."

Jim Jackson: "So join us next week to see what else ULOL has in store for you. Until next time good night and thanks for watching."


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