Lucha Loco 08/07/2011

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Sun Aug 07, 2011 10:59 am

Jim Jackson: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Lucha Loco, joining me tonight here on the announce table is my partner Brad Blood. Many things happened in our last PPV and tonight we shall see the aftermath of the events of Ay Caramba!"

Brad Blood: "That's right Jim, tonight there were many things that surprised us in the PPV including the metamorphosis of Raven Connoly."

Jim looks at Brad in shock.

Brad Blood: "What?!"

Jim Jackson: "You used the word metamorphosis! That's a big word for you Brad, are you sure you didn't sprain your brain using that word?"

Brad Blood: "Ha ha! Pretty funny Jim... NOT! Why don't you just get on with the show."

Jim Jackson: "Well, with the insistence of my partner, without further ado, LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

The scene fades into the ULOL Arena. The fans are buzzing as this is the first show from the Pay-Per-View. The first shows are guaranteed to be rated as high as the Pay-Per-View itself because many things happen on this show. The aftermath of matches roll over onto these shows, new feuds begin on these shows. Many champions celebrate their wins and others recoil in their defeats.

'Lets Go!'

'Simply Unstoppable' by Tinie Tempah begins blaring over the arena. The fans cheer loudly as a spark shower begins to fall. After a few seconds the animal that was 1000th of a second slower than Q was on his descent off of the cage, walks slowly through the shower. He is in wearing his ring gear. He doesn't acknowledge the fans at all he just walks with his tired eyes fixed upon the ring. He enters the ring and receives a microphone from a ring technician. The music fades and UJJ begins to speak.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Last week at the PPV, I had a title match inside a steel cage. I lost by a fraction of a second. But I'm not gonna go over in a lot of detail about what happened because quite frankly I don't wanna talk about it. But I will address something else."

UJJ takes a deep breath.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "CM Punk. For the last few weeks, I might have been mocking him or ripping him off by modifying his shirts and using his theme song but it is all out of respect. I have masses of respect for Punk. His in-ring skills are phenomenal. His mic skills are even better. He has been my idol, my role model when it comes to cutting a promo. Because you have to learn from the best to eventually beat the best and then become the best yourself. You go to any legend in this industry and they well te you similar things."

Cheers flow through the arena.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "But whilst we are on the topic of CM Punk, amongst all the great promos he's done. One stands out and I'm going to adapt to that promo. After the monthly Pay-Per-View. I, 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson, am leaving the United League of Lunatics."

Gasps of shock and boos of disagreement fill the arena.

Jim Jackson: "Wah?! Did I just hear that? UJJ is leaving us?"

Brad Blood: "I-I think you heard right."

The collection of boos and gasps continue to flow freely. That is until UJJ speaks again.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Yeah you all heard me right. I'm leaving, I'm going. You want to know why? Well to be truthful, it's a bit like the WWE really. One man is being made to look like the best. I'm referring to our current Primo Ultimo Champion, Q. Ever since this company rebuilt itself and after being thrown to the ground for no interesting reason, every single road agent, every single writer, basically everyone's main focus has been Q. Wherever he went, this company's officials made sure that at least a dozen cameras follow him. I have had enough of it."

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "It makes me sick that just because Q is an old trademark here and his countrymen are so helpless, he gets all the attention. Whilst there's people like me and Shogun who work twice as hard every single week to get to where we are today. But we have to swallow our pride time and time again just to put over Q. 'the fans will love it if Q retains"' they say. Well I can't handle it no longer. I refuse to lower myself, just to conform to their needs and desires. Now call me a whining bitch for saying this but I'm sick of the cameras not being on me as much as they should.

You want proof of everything I just said? Well let's see. What ULOL competitor gets to go to talk shows around the world?

Q.

Who brought in an unofficial title, only for the company to start recognizing it weeks later.

Q.

Who gets to cut around three promos a week. Because the company gives them dozens of cameras?

Not me. It's Q."

UJJ slowly walks around the ring.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I could stay and put up with being screwed time and time again but I don't see the point nor the gain in burning myself out to the point where I'm getting owned by the likes of AJ and Brostar in promos. I'd rather go to another federation or maybe even just retire on a high note."

Chants of "UJJ Don't Go!" start.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "You can chant all you want but I won't change my mind. To tell the truth, I've felt like this ever since I lost the title to Q at the PPV last month. I've only just became one hundred percent certain about this choice at the PPV. After accepting the fact that I wouldn't become the Primo Ultimo champion. Even after a month of pulling the best promos out of my ass. I feel like all the work I've put into this company isn't for my gain. It's always been for someone else hence why I had short reigns as a tag team champion. The same reason I had a one month reign. I just cant deal with it anymore."

The camera pans around the arena. No one is happy at this announcement. Some women have burst into tears as have some men.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Now I wouldn't have adapted fully to this CM Punk template without saying this last. I will try to get into the ULOL Primo Ultimo title match at the PPV. I will leave after the PPV, whether I leave with the Primo Ultimo title remains to be seen."

'Simply Unstoppable' resumes playing and UJJ drops the mic and exits the ring. He makes his way up the ramp and disappears behind the curtain. The camera pans around the arena again, UJJ's messages was sent and received. The frowns and the tears reflect that. The scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens backstage we see Connoly walking down the halls backstage. Connoly turns the corner and almost runs into Lex Lexington who is standing there.

Lex Lexington: "Connoly, mind answering a few questions?"

Connoly: "What the hell Lex, do you just friggin stand here waiting for some one to walk by so you can interview them."

Lex Lexington: "No, I uhhh, I just happened to be standing here at this particular time. Any comments on your match at the PPV?"

Connoly: "You're a sad little man. What is there to say about my match at the PPV, I said I was going to win, and I won."

Lex Lexington: "What about those people who are saying Bakla should have had that match won but...,"

Connoly: "But nothing Lex, the fact is Bakla didn't win the match. Whaaa Whaa, the deck was stacked against me, the ref was distracted, I was distracted, that's the way the cookie crumbles, the simple truth is I won and Bakla lost, end of story. Now of course Bakla is going after that hag Eunice, blaming her for Baklas problems. We can all see through the facade Bakla, she's going after Eunice now because she knows she can't beat me. Bakla realized it can't handle a real wrestler so now she's going after Eunice. Well that's fine with me, I'm tired of having to touch that thing anyway, plus now I can concentrate on more important things, like going after The ULOL Primo Championship."

Lex Lexington: "One last thing, what do you think of Ravens actions at the PPV."

Connoly: "I think Raven has finally decided to live up to her potential and stop caring what all these idiot fans think of her. I trained that girl well, and all I can say is the rest of that loker room better stay out of her way. Now, I have to get going."

Connoly walks around the corner and starts walking back towards the loker rooms, he see's Rupert B. Humperdink approaching him.

Connoly: "Hey Rupert, guess what I just saw a whole bunch of SpongeBob toys laying on the floor down the hallway around the corner."

Rupert B. Humperdink: "Really?!?!"

Rupert takes off running and turns the corner **CRASH!!!**

Lex Lexington: "DAMMIT, WHAT THE HELL RUPERT!!!"

Connoly continues down the hall laughing to himself.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Green Day's "Having a Blast" starts blaring out of the speakers as the silhouette of the penultimate wrestler, covered in smoke and with a light show on, Colton Charles Cai Cobb raises from the ground with his back facing the crowd and with a mic on his hand. He turns around as he steps off the platform and into the entrance ramp with a smirk on his face and an air of arrogance as he makes his way to the ring. Upon reaching the ring, he raises the mic and addresses the crowd.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Though undeserving, you all get to feast your eyes at my magnificent form!"

That statement alone solicited loud boos from the crowd.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "I suggest that you all stop your booing for you have not earned the right to say boo to me yet, in fact you have not earned the right to say anything to me at all."

More boos are heard.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "I guess some of you are just too stupid to understand plain English, but it matters not to me. For those who still don't have an idea who I am, then you are idiots and ignoramuses! I am the internet sensation every federation wants to sign. I am the Charismatic Crippler, Colton Charles Cai Cobb or C4 for short. Now you should count yourselves lucky that I have allowed you all to get a glimpse of me here tonight."

The crowd is getting angry now at the arrogant wrestler as they start throwing cups, half eaten hotdogs, water bottles and whatever they can into the ring. C4 easily dodges everything thrown at his direction and with a nonchalant wave of the arms swats away a soda can just before it hits him.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Not only are you all idiots and ignoramuses, you all are wasteful too."

C4 shakes his head in disgust.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Now many of you are asking why I am here. Why I chose the United League of Lunatics, well... Simply put, I am here to save this federation. You see I have seen what has been happening here and frankly I think this place is near it's end, until I was signed of course."

The crowd again show their displeasure to the egotistical wrestler.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Now tonight, I am facing a certain AJ, someone who couldn't afford to have more than two letters in his name. Someone who really isn't worthy to compete with me in the ring so he should count himself lucky that he will lose to me... Now if you should ask me, I would rather fight that whiny bitch of a former champion who is too dumb to think of an original gimmick that he had to rip-off CM Punk. He wanted to break the internet but all he broke was his image. That's right the former champion who couldn't hack it so he decided to quit, "Unstoppable"...."

Colton Charles Cai Cobb stops and tries to suppress a laugh.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Seriously, why name yourself "Unstoppable" if you lost? But before we veer off-topic, I would rather fight this Jack Johnson, for then you shall all see me defeat a former champion, what better way to kick off my career here in ULOL eh? But instead I was given a small fish, a guppy! Well not that it matters who they throw at me for the results shall always be the same. It will be me standing and them broken and on the ground. So get ready ULOL for I shall set forth a series of explosions that will leave everything in my path reduced to ashes."

Colton Charles Cai Cobb drops the mic as Green Day's "Having a Blast" starts blaring out of the speakers in full volume drowning out all the boos. He exits the ring and heads out to the back disappearing into the tunnel.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Ladies and gentlemen without long introduction let me introduce to you your host of the show Jay Leno.

Jay Leno: Well let’s this show started. Let me introduce to you my first guest of the evening. They are team of Arnold Bold known as GoodFella and his tag-team partner Felix Schwarz. Two times former Campeones Companero GoodFella & Schwarz.

"Fire Flame" by Birdman starts to sound. The light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again and Felix and Arnold are standing in front of the crowd of people in the show at Jay Leno studio. They walk near the armchair and sit. The crowd in the studio becomes silent until Arnold says some words.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Good to be here Jay."

Jay Leno smiles as he always do.

Jay Leno: "Sorry that it took long time for us to finally invite you guys here. Mostly, we are booked two months forward. Nevertheless, well, Dennis Rodman somewhere disappear, and no one can find him. So here we are with GoodFella & Schwarz."

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "No need for explanation Jay. I’m a business man too, I understand. My schedule is very tight too..."

Jay Leno: "So guys I’m not a huge fan of wrestling, but I saw a headline in one of the sports newspaper that you had a pretty good match at the Ay Caramba! PPV. You were facing Taufik and Jim Rival, both your former tag partners. So tell me more about this."

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "No offense to Taufik who is a great guy and terrific competitor but he was like a thorn to me. He was like he blamed me for being a better wrestler than he is. So let’s take a look at our Pay Per View Ay Caramba!"

Quote :

Jim Jackson: "GoodFella and Schwarz sends Taufik to the ropes with a double Irish whip. They charge in and hit a double clothesline sending Taufik flipping into the air before landing on his back! There it is the Drive-by Shooting! GoodFella for the pin... Rival struggles to get free..."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by pinfall, GoodFella & Schwarz!"

Jim Jackson: "A strong showing by both teams but it's GoodFella & Schwarz who comes out on top this time."

Brad Blood: "The handcuffs were a genius move by GoodFella & Schwarz... Wait! What's GoodFella and Schwarz doing? They are bringing the steel steps into the ring... It looks like they want to dish more punishment to Taufik..."

Jim Jackson: "This doesn't looks good... GoodFella sets Taufik up over the steel steps... PILEDRIVER!!! TAUFIK LANDS ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD AND IS BUSTED OPEN!!! Jim Rival is staring at horror as GoodFella & Schwarz continue to attack his partner."

Brad Blood: "Looks like Schwarz is getting a turn too... He sets Taufik up... BRAINBUSTAH~! Right on the steel steps! Taufik is in a pool of blood! Looks like they are not done yet!"

Jim Jackson: "Schwarz hands GoodFella Taufik's Singapore cane... GOODFELLA USES IT ON TAUFIK'S SKULL!!! SOMEONE STOP THIS BRUTALITY!!!"

Brad Blood: "I-I think he's dead Jim... EMTs are now rushing to the scene to check on Taufik... Oh, I guess he's not dead yet. Though this may be a career ending injury... I mean Taufik may end up as a vegetable with that head injury."

Scene ends, and Arnold wants to explain something before they continue.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "What just happened there was a point that I’m better than him. I’m just glad he is gone. Now I can move on."

Jay Leno : "What’s with this guy who sits next to you? Is he that quiet all the time?"

GoodFella looks into Felix.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "You know the funny things is that usually I’m the quiet one in our team, and he is the talker but I have no idea why he is so quiet today."

Felix suddenly begins to smile.

Felix Schwarz: "Ah guys sorry I was just try my new technique of meditating."

Jay Leno: "Can you teach me that? I hear it's a good technique to achieve inner zen."

Felix Schwarz: "Sure why not. You just need to call me."

Jay Leno: "So guys you facing Oriental Spices to become #1 contenders once again. Did I spell that right? So what are your thoughts about this upcoming match?"

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "You know Jay, Oriental Spices are one of the teams that we totally respect. They worked their asses of to achieve the gold, and they finally did."

Felix Schwarz: "I totally agree with you Arnold. Them and Morbidly Unstoppable. However, we are going to beat them, and that’s for sure."

Jay Leno: "Sorry guys I guess our time is over here. See you next time guys."

TV show production crew ends the scene and GoodFella & Schwarz leaves.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:00 am

VS

Jim Jackson: "Well we kick things off with a match between a newcomer, Colton Charles Cai Cobb and AJ."

Brad Blood: "Seriously, I like this Cobb guy, I mean even his nickname C4 is cool."

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, he is the internet sensation that swept the nation, Colton Charles Cai Cobb!"

Green Day's "Having a Blast" starts blaring out of the speakers as the silhouette of the penultimate wrestler, covered in smoke and with a light show on, Colton Charles Cai Cobb raises from the ground with his back facing the crowd. He turns around as he steps off the platform and into the entrance ramp with a smirk on his face and an air of arrogance as he makes his way to the ring ignoring the loud boos which echo the ringside. He enters the ring, and asks for a mic.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Be awed and amazed at how fast I shall dispatch of my opponent tonight. His unworthiness to be in the wrestling business shall be shown to you all watching tonight. With this match, it shall be clear that I should be fighting with top guys in United League of Lunatics. And if I get to choose, I would choose "Unstoppable"..."

Colton Charles Cai Cobb stiffles a laughter.

Colton Charles Cai Cobb: "Jack Johnson! That's right the one who says he's leaving, what better way to usher out a failure by giving him one last failure!"

The arrogant wrestler laughs as the crowd starts to boo. He drops the mic and heads to his corner to wait for his opponent.

Jim Jackson: "Some really strong words from the newcomer... But he may have bitten off more than he can chew if he thinks taking on UJJ is a cake walk."

Brad Blood: "I think he can, I would like to see him walk the walk after hearing him talk the talk."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, his opponent, AJ!"

"Tears Don't Fall" by Bullet For My Valentine starts blaring over the arena. After a few seconds AJ bursts out of the tunnel. He stops at the edge of the stage and looks at the arena. He smiles and walks down the ramp. He climbs the apron and then climbs the turnbuckle. He raises his arm up high to the fans, who respond with cheers. AJ climbs down and enters the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Looks like the fans are cheering for AJ now. Clearly their distaste for the newcomer made them back AJ."

Brad Blood: "Well they are putting their money on the wrong horse if you ask me."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! AJ runs in hoping to use his superior speed to take on the newcomer... Oh! He gets stopped with a big boot! Back suplex on AJ followed by a vertical suplex by Colton Charles Cai Cobb. The execution of that was just perfect!"

Brad Blood: "C4 gets up and puts his foot on AJ's chest while flexing his muscles to the crowd. Hah!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "AJ gets a shoulder up! Colton Charles Cai Cobb picks up the smaller wreslter but AJ drops out the back of Colton Charles Cai Cobb avoiding a bodyslam attempt. Stun Gun from AJ!"

Brad Blood: "Wait! There wasn't enough force in AJ's stun gun! C4 is still standing! AJ rushes to the ropes... He's going for a springboard crossbody! NO! CAUGHT IN MID AIR BY C4!"

Jim Jackson: "C4 counters with a backbreaker! And another! And another! AJ is down on the canvas clutching his back in pain... C4 doesn't waste time... AJ tries to get up... sits on his opponent's back. Grabbing both his opponent's arms, Colton Charles Cai Cobb pulls them across his opponents neck in a "X" until his opponent passes out executing an excruciating RDX!"

Brad Blood: "The ref is checking out AJ... He signals for the bell! It's over! AJ is not moving at all!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by submission, Colton Charles Cai Cobb!"

Jim Jackson: "An impressive victory by the newcomer. Wait! HE'S NOT RELEASING AJ!!! The match is over but Colton Charles Cai Cobb still has his hold on AJ!!! He'll choke the wrestler to death if he continues!"

Brad Blood: "Wait security has come out... The reach ringside but stay out of C4's reach, I guess they still remembered the last time they tangled with C4... Colton Charles Cai Cobb sees them and finally lets AJ go. Security clear out as C4 passes through... EMTs are rushing to the scene to check up on AJ..."

Jim Jackson: "It looks like the young wrestler is finally coming out from unconsciousness. C4 may have proven that he is a good wrestler but he also proved to us all that he is a bully. I hope UJJ does accept his challenge and help teach C4 a lesson."

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

ZERO CALORIES!!!

ZERO SUGAR!!!

ZERO FAT!!!

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Dietwa10

Available in stores everywhere.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. Little Wang walks up beside her noticeably the dwarf is wearing stilts. They quickly makes their way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. They bow and give their respect to the crowd before speaking to the crowd.

Nao Fook Mi: "A lot has happened since and a lot has changed here in ULOL, yet one thing is certain, that change has unfortunately have not been for the better. I stand here today with my partner for we have an announcement to make."

Fook Mi sighs deeply before she continues.

Nao Fook Mi: "Since Troy's return we have seen morale drop, we have heard backstage of so and so talking about leaving the company, we have seen morals get corrupted. I thought once that by joining a boycott we could make a difference but it seems a pro-active stance is needed. So me and Little Wang have come up with a solution. Both of us shall show ULOL that you don't need to leech up to persons in power to be successful, you do not need to cheat or ambush you opponents to win, you do not need to beat-down on a defeated opponent to show you are superior!"

Fook Mi paces around as the crowd starts cheering.

Nao Fook Mi: "Tonight, we get a chance to start all that, tonight me and my partner Little Wang shall be facing the team of GoodFella & Schwarz, the same team who did a brutal beat-down on Taufik last week. Mind you I do not like Taufik and his foul mouth yet the beat-down he got, I do not approve of. So tonight, we shall defeat GoodFella & Schwarz and get the number one contender slot for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero."

The crowd cheers loudly again as Fook Mi hands the mic to her partner.

Little Wang takes the mic and addresses the crowd.

Little Wang: "My partner is correct. In our absence, we have come back to an ULOL that has become rotten, but unlike other wrestlers who decide to bail or join the dark side, Oriental Spices shall still be a shining light. We shall stay here in ULOL in an uphill battle to restore some semblance of honor to this federation."

Little Wang walks around as the crowd cheers loudly.

Little Wang: "If you all notice, I now am wearing stilts and for the past two weeks, me and Fook Mi have been training hard so that I get used to wrestling with these. I have secured permission to use these stilts in competition since my size already gives me a handicap, this just evens things out. So tonight I want to ask your support for Oriental Spices as we take on GoodFella & Schwarz in our first step to bring light back to ULOL."

Little Wang raises his arms as the crowd cheers loudly, he drops the mic and both he and Nao Fook Mi exits the ring heading to the back as the crowd cheers "SPICES! SPICES! SPICES!"

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Journalists from various news agencies eagerly wait to be among the first to capture the thoughts and emotions of the masked wrestler who has successfully defended his title. Judging by the sour and harsh outburst that followed his big match, these veterans of news media would not be surprised to hear him give more depth to the unexpected turn of events that have marred a successful night.

It is not long before he returns from the ring, with the Primo Ultimo championship belt in tow. He is none other than the standard of success in sports entertainment. The masked marvel known among the billions as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

He quickly begins to speak, once the reporters have gathered around him.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "If it is true that the UJJ is leaving the ULOL, I eagerly wait for that twit to twit on the Twitter! Twittering about his twittiness!"

The journalists silently record and broadcast his comments around the world.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I should not be surprised to read about you complaining! Claiming you work twice as hard every single week! Then at the same time admit I do MORE PROMOS THAN YOU every single week! You are a kindergarten example of illiteracy!"

The journalists quietly transcribe his statement for their respective audiences.

Reporter: "他文盲."

Reporter 2: "...analfabeto."

Reporter 3: "...enfant illettré et illogique..."

Reporter 4: "Kulang ata ang gerber na pinakain sa yo, dahil tangina ang tanga mo talaga."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I have published short versions of my roleplays FOR YOU! Because you admit you can't read longer work! This means I post more! So it means I do more! Than you! But somehow you convince yourself I don't perform as hard as you! I think it means the UJJ wants someone else to do the work for him! And I don't think I'm wrong! about that!"

The members of the media continue diligently recording and transcribing.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "You say you talk to that greedy gulper of food all the time! Did he ORDER you to make only one promo a week! Is this what you mean! When you complain that I do more than you! Did you want him to wrestle for you at Aye Caramba too! If you are leaving, then maybe you will do better doing SOMETHING ELSE! Like writing songs! About cute monkeys!"

Several reporters quickly ask their questions.

Reporter 2: "The Morbidly Obese Man allegedly ate a whole shipment of food aid for your people. We understand you are very upset about it, but can you share with us more about your thoughts on what supposedly happened?"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing appears peeved to be asked this, even when his face is completely masked.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "The UJJ is upset that he did not have someone else to do the work for him! Because that soulless superstomach he calls a friend was too busy stealing food that was never meant for him! My people go hungry, while he belches and picks his teeth! This is an offense I will not stand for! The UJJ may not know how to turn a faucet without that mountain of manmeat's help! But I'm nowhere as unstoppably helpless as the UJJ! And you can tell him that!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing abruptly leaves. The reporters follow him, though the rest of the interview is not caught on the ULOL camera.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens with Taufik lying down in the bed of the ULOL infirmary. Taufik then wakes up in a daze, his vision blurry and his balance unstable as he tries to stand only to fall back down as the pain from his head starts throbbing. Emma Enema, the ULOL nurse comes in to check up on Taufik.

Emma Enema: "You're awake now Mr. Taufik?"

Taufik: "... Taufik? Who is that?"

Emma Enema: "Yes, your name is Taufik. Don't you remember your own name?"

Taufik: "I... I... Arrrgh!"

Taufik clutches his head as it begins to throb again when he tried to recall his name. Just then Doctor Booboo B. Gone enters the room.

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Well hello there Taufik."

Taufik: "What.. Who's this Taufik you guys are talking about and why am I here?"

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Sir. You are Taufik and you work here at ULOL as a wrestler."

Taufik's head then begins to throb again as he tries to absorb the fact that he is currently working in ULOL as a wrestler. Yet try as he might only a blank slate comes out when he tries to dig into his memories. The doctor tells him to lay down and rest as the nurse administers some sedatives. As Taufik slowly shuts his eyes, Dr. Booboo B. Gone then aska Nurse Emma Enema to follow him.

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Well this is more serious than I thought. It seems that Taufik received a major concussion triggering a trauma in his brain. He must have contracted amnesia. Whether it is temporary or not, only time will tell. Keep an eye on him nurse, if he recalls anything the next he wakes up, call for me.

The nurse nods and Dr. Booboo B. Gone exits the infirmary as the scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:01 am

Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. Bakla makes it's way to the ring and hops in with a mic in hand, clearly it is very very angry.

Boy Bakla: "Cut the music! Cut the music!"

Cher's "Believe" abruptly stops and Bakla raises the mic to speak out again.

Boy Bakla: "As you can all see, last week, I received a major beating."

The crowd cheers.

Boy Bakla: "Yes, cheer for injustice, cheer for prejudice, CHEER FOR DISCRIMINATION!"

The cheering abruptly stops.

Boy Bakla: "Now it sets in doesn't it? You all saw what happened in Ay Caramaba! last week, where not only was I booked in an unfair match but I was cheated out of a win that was rightfully mine. Now I won't make my gripe against Connoly because if I find myself in that situation I would probably do the same too."

Bakla pauses and walks about the ring in seemingly deep thought before continuing.

Boy Bakla: "I also won't bitch about LaCroix's actions since I guess one good bat hit deserves another. Besides, I know that bitching against that French man would probably result to nothing. No, I'm here to bitch about Eunice P. Winslow, the same Eunice P. Winslow who said she'll be the check and balance to Marcus Troy to maintain order and fairness."

The transsexual wrestler takes a deep breath before continuing.

Boy Bakla: "IS THERE ANYTHING ORDERLY AND FAIR ABOUT HOW YOU SCREWED ME YOU BITCH?! What you did showed your true colors Winslow, it showed that you are a hypocritical discriminatory old hag drunk in power that you booked me in an unfair match. We never did get along Winslow, here or even in the past, but we could have put it all behind us here. Instead you want to bring what should have been history to the present time."

Bakla takes a moments pause to catch it's breath.

Boy Bakla: "Eunice, dear Eunice... If you think I've been a bitch, you have no idea how much more of a bitch I could be. You opened Pandora's box you old hag but this Pandora's box doesn't have hope coming out last, it has ME wiping the floor with your decrepit wrinkled face! You want to dig up an old war you old bag? Well you have it!"

Bakla drops the mic, exits the ring and heads to the back.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

&

VS

&

Jim Jackson: “Well we got some tag team action coming up folks! Both teams looking to be the Number One Contenders for the tag titles!!! We have the longest reigning former tag team champions, GoodFella and Schwarz going up against Oriental Spices! And if I remember rightly Brad it was Oriental Spices who managed to tear the tag titles away from GoodFella and Schwarz!”

Brad Blood: “REVENGE!!!”

Jasmine Lee: “This match is scheduled for a tag team matchup! Introducing first, Arnas GoodFella and Felix Schwarz!!”

“Fire Flame" by Birdman starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again and Felix and Arnold are standing in the middle of the ring and waving to their fans.

Jim Jackson: “Revenge indeed! And here now is GoodFella and Felix Schwarz! Both wanting to prove something and determined on getting those tag titles back!”

Brad Blood: “DETERMINED!!!”

Jim Jackson: “Why are you speaking like that?”

Brad Blood: “Just doing something a little different that’s all!”

Jasmine Lee: “And introducing their opponents, Nao Fook Mi and Little Wang, Oriental Spices!!!”

Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. Little Wang follows behind her wearing stilts. They quickly makes their way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. They bow and give their respect to the crowd before heading to their corner.

Jim Jackson: “And Oriental Spices look about ready to get this one started! These two are an odd combination but it’s one that quite obviously works!”

Jasmine Lee: “The referee for this matchup, Jack B. Nimble!! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!!!”

Brad Blood: “Now they have to decide who’s starting the match off! Looks like Little Wang is starting this one for Oriental Spices. GoodFella seems to be limbering up ready to take on the midget.”

Jim Jackson: “GoodFella tries and fails to tangle up with Little Wang! Little Wang dropkicks GoodFella to the knee! Little Wang may be small but he sure is fast! Little Wang again with a kick to the knee! GoodFella now to Little Wang’s level! Little Wang lines up GoodFella! Runs to the ropes, bounces back towards GoodFella and gets some good height as he jumps and twists GoodFella around to slam GoodFella with a nice DDT!!”

Brad Blood: “GoodFella now on the canvas! Little Wang now standing on GoodFella! Little Wang jumping up and down on the ribcage and stomach of GoodFella! Little Wang must have some weight as GoodFella recoils holding his stomach in pain! Little Wang jumps off GoodFella and continues his assault!”

Jim Jackson: “Little Wang firing some right hands to the still grounded GoodFella!! GoodFella trying to get to his feet! Trying to get back the advantage of height back into play! GoodFella pushes Little Wang away! Little Wang decides to change his offense as he jumps on the back of GoodFella! Little Wang now wraps his arms around the face of GoodFella locking in a sleeper hold!!”

Brad Blood: “Little Wang not only using his strength to put GoodFella to sleep but using his strength to keep himself held up as GoodFella gets to his feet! Little Wang keeping that sleeper hold locked in tight! GoodFella seems to be drifting off! This is going to be a falling tree situation! Has Little Wang done this right? Or will GoodFella fall on his back then hurting Little Wang?”

Jim Jackson: “GoodFella is swaying and still on his feet! Oh man this doesn’t look good!! GoodFella almost falling backwards!! But Little Wang shifts his weight to pull GoodFella to fall forward!! GoodFella now though trying to summon some strength!! And he does so as GoodFella purposely falls back onto his back!! Little Wang under GoodFella from that! The impact from Little Wang hitting the canvas forces him to release the hold!!”

Brad Blood: “GoodFella trying to regain his composure! Trying to get his eyes back from the darkness!! GoodFella now manages to shake away the fuzz! GoodFella now with Little Wang on his shoulders and slams him with a nice Samoan drop! GoodFella with the shoulders down!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!”

Jim Jackson: “But Little Wang kicks out at two!! GoodFella immediately decides to tag out to Felix Schwarz!! Schwarz now entering the match for the first time! Schwarz going to work on Little Wang as he brings Little Wang up onto his shoulders in the powerbomb position!! But Little Wang fighting his way out!! Little Wang with the combination of punches and knees to the face of Schwarz!

Brad Blood: “Little Wang with the eye rake to the face of Schwarz!! Schwarz recoils in pain!! Little Wang though managed to wrap his legs around the neck of Felix Schwarz!! And he stays in position!!”

Jim Jackson: “It looks like now though as if Little Wang is trying to squeeze the life out of Schwarz!! This time he locks in that vice grip using his legs this time!! But Felix Schwarz is not having any of it! He pulls Wang up to the powerbomb position once again and slams him onto the turnbuckle!!”

Brad Blood: “Little Wang continues to hold on despite that impact!! Still keeping that grip locked in tight!! Even when Schwarz lifts Little Wang up to try to relieve some of that pressure he still has that grip around his neck!! And Schwarz again slams Little Wang onto the same turnbuckle!”

Jim Jackson: “Little Wang now losing his grip on the hold!! Schwarz now breathing in some of that fresh air! Schwarz managing to completely free himself!! Felix Schwarz now maneuvers Little Wang and slams him to the canvas with a big side walk slam!! Schwarz this time with the pin!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!”

Brad Blood: “Nao Fook Mi manages to the break up the count with a pretty hard boot to the head of Felix Schwarz! And she quickly leaves the ring before the referee can even say a word! Schwarz seeing stars after that and stumbles to his feet! Little Wang now also to his feet! Little Wang slowly making his way over to Nao Fook Mi! Wanting to get the tag out! But Schwarz intercepts him! Felix Schwarz again lifting Little Wang! But Little Wang using his weight to shift his body around and pulls Schwarz down onto the canvas!! Little Wang with a rather awkward looking roll up pin!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!”

Jim Jackson: “Schwarz kicks out at two! Little Wang rolls away and this time manages to tag out to Nao Fook Mi!! Nao Fook Mi explodes from the outside as she slams Schwarz with a powerful elbow!! She brings Schwarz to his feet and goes straight into a well-executed suplex!”

Brad Blood: “Nao Fook Mi going to the top rope! Stalking her prey from that top turnbuckle as she waits for Schwarz to get to his feet! As Schwarz finally gets to his feet Nao Fook Mi dives towards Schwarz and lands a cross body!! Schwarz once again on the canvas!! Nao Fook Mi has the shoulders down!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One! Two!! Thr…”

Jim Jackson: “And GoodFella this time breaking up that count! So dangerously near that three count! GoodFella with more than the one stomp to Nao Fook Mi!! The referee clearly not happy with the continued assault from the illegal man! GoodFella forced back to the outside and back on the ring apron! Felix Schwarz up now and about to make the most out of GoodFella’s interference!”

Brad Blood: “Schwarz with the irish whip to Nao Fook Mi! Fook Mi bounces off the ropes and Schwarz follows up with a big clothesline!! Nao Fook Mi taken clean off her feet from that clothesline! Felix Schwarz continuing his attack!! So far this has been a pretty even match!! Neither one has out powered the other!”

Jim Jackson: “It certainly has been very back and forth!! Felix Schwarz forced to break the armlock he had locked in after Nao Fook Mi managed to get to the ropes!! Schwarz now brings Fook Mi to her feet and pulls her over to the corner where GoodFella waits on the outside!! Schwarz tags out and brings GoodFella in as the legal man! I think we’re about to see some double team action!! Schwarz and GoodFella with the irish whip to Nao Fook Mi!! Both men sprint toward the running Nao Fook Mi and send her flying over the top rope with that huge double clothesline!!”

Brad Blood: “Oh man!! GoodFella needs to get her back in the ring so he can get the shoulders down! A win must be a sure bet after a huge impact like that!! Little Wang though checking on his partner making sure she’s alright! GoodFella now pulls Little Wang away and sends him flying into the barricade just in front of us!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “One!”

Jim Jackson: “The referee starting his count!! GoodFella now taking it to Nao Fook Mi!! As he irish whips her towards the steel steps but she counters and sends him flying into the steps instead!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Two!”

Jim Jackson: “Nao Fook Mi checking on Little Wang now after that attack from GoodFella and now here comes Felix Schwarz!! Attacks Nao Fook Mi from behind with a big slap to the back!! Little Wang now retaliating with a quick multiple chops to the midsection of Schwarz!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Three!”

Brad Blood: “Schwarz now backed up onto the ring apron!! Little Wang now standing on top of that barricade!! What is he planning on doing? LITTLE WANG JUST MISSILE DROPKICKED FELIX SCHWARZ FROM DIVING OFF THAT FAN BARRICADE!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Four!”

Jim Jackson: “Schwarz now flattened from that dropkick! Little Wang getting to his feet! But he just got dropped by a huge boot to the face from GoodFella!! Little Wang now completely flattened by that boot! And GoodFella turns around to direct his attention to Nao Fook Mi but Nao Fook Mi just seemed to explode from nowhere and plants GoodFella with a spinebuster on the outside!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Five!!”

Brad Blood: “Nao Fook Mi now slamming GoodFella with lefts and rights!! Little Wang being manhandled by Felix Schwarz as Schwarz slams Little Wang’s back right into the steel ring post!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Six!!”

Brad Blood: “Are these guys completely ignoring the referee?”

Jim Jackson: “They seem more concerned with doing as much damage as is possible within the rules! Schwarz now directing his attention to Nao Fook Mi! Schwarz pulls Nao Fook Mi by the hair!! Giving GoodFella the time to recover after those multiple punches!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Seven!!”

Brad Blood: “Maaan!! Either GoodFella or Nao Fook Mi must reenter the ring if we’re going to have a winner in this one! But both of the legal wrestlers are either recovering or being attacked!! Schwarz sends Nao Fook Mi into that ring post! And he proceeds to slam her head into the steel ring post!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Eight!!”

Jim Jackson: “Nimble getting ever closer to the ten count!! GoodFella now scrambling to his feet and about to enter the ring!! WOAH WAIT A MINUTE!! LITTLE WANG WAS ALREADY INSIDE THE RING AND JUST DOVE TOWARDS GOODFELLA THROUGH THE ROPES KNOCKING GOODFELLA BACK TO THE FLOOR OUTSIDE THE RING!!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Nine!!”

Brad Blood: “What a save by Little Wang!! Felix Schwarz watched the whole thing unfold!! I think he’s realized it’s probably too late to do anything!! As he sends Nao Fook Mi crashing to the bottom of the entrance with a big suplex!! GoodFella trying his best to get to his feet!! But it’s too late!”

Jack B. Nimble: “Ten!!!!”

Jasmine Lee: “The result of this matchup due to a double count out is a draw!!”

Jim Jackson: “Schwarz now going over to his teammate!! GoodFella still shocked from that save by Little Wang!! Little Wang now tending to Nao Fook Mi!! Well after that I think a draw was probably the best result!!”

Brad Blood: “But who goes on to …”

"Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers as smoke rises from the floor. Out from the smoke the figure of Marcus Troy, the general manager of United League of Lunatics emerges from the back. With a microphone already in hand he stands at the top of the ramp.

Jim Jackson: “I think our general manager Marcus Troy is about to sort out that very problem!”

Marcus Troy: “God damn you four! I was hoping for at least one of you actually winning tonight! But I guess ratings will be higher with what I have planned! Two weeks from now GoodFella and Felix Schwarz will have a title match with the tag champions the DWMA!”

Jim Jackson: “What the? How is that fair? The crowd now boos like crazy at Troy for screwing over Oriental Spices!!”

Marcus Troy: “Woah woah! I’m a business man I know what I’m doing! I haven’t finished yet! Yeah that’s right Schwarz and GoodFella!! I ain’t finished!! It will be a three way tag title match between GoodFella and Felix Schwarz, the tag champions DWMA … and Oriental Spices!!”

Jim Jackson: “Crowd now cheering at the announcement!! A three way tag title match for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero two weeks from now!!!!”

Marcus Troy: “Booing me for no reason whatsoever! Idiots!!”

Brad Blood: “PURE GENIUS!!”

Jim Jackson: “Maybe. But why did he have to word it like that?”

Brad Blood: “ENTERTAINMENT!!”

Jim Jackson: “Well we’re going to commercial we’ll be right back!!”

Brad Blood: “FREE CAT!!!”

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Have you always wanted a pet but cannot afford one?

Have you always wanted a pet but is afraid that it'll destroy the furniture?

Have you always wanted a pet but do not have the time to feed and walk it?

WELL TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY!

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Freeca10

HERE AT FREE CAT INC. WE WILL SOLVE ALL THOSE PESKY LITTLE ISSUES YOU HAVE! OWN A PET NOW HASSLE FREE! NO NEED TO FEED IT, NO NEED TO WALK IT! NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING! SO CALL NOW AT 1-800-FREE-CAT! AND WE'LL DELIVER YOUR VERY OWN FREE CAT RIGHT TO YOUR DOORSTEP FOR FREE!!!

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Blue and Red lights shine throughout the arena as Edguy's King of Fools begins to play. Allister King, accompanied by Samantha Collins, walks out onto the entrance ramp to a thunderous roar of the crowd. He poses on the top of the ramp as white pyrotechnics begin to rain down behind him. He continues to walk down to the ring, smiling to the crowd. He high fives a few off the audience members before sliding into the ring. He poses once more for the crowd. Samantha hands him a microphone.

Allister King: "How you guys doing?"

The Crowd chants ''King''

Allister King: "Thank You, Thank You. Please calm down!"

The Chanting stops

Allister King: "I have a few things to announce. Tonight for the first time ever, I will debut my new talk show."

The Crowd cheers

Allister King: "You like that huh? We maybe this will intrigue you abit more. My Guest tonight on the first ever edition of Allister's Sanctuary, which is being held in my new tavern but it is also a cafe and music club, is. Drum roll please."

A drum roll is heard it lasts for 10 seconds.

Allister King: "Shogun!"

The crowd cheers

Allister King: "I guess we have some Shogun fans in attendance tonight. Well I will be asking the questions that people are afraid to ask. I will try to get info into the mind of what drives the former demonic god. I have arranged for guests for the next few weeks but those i shall keep a secret. But please trust me when I say this but you will love it."

Allister leaves the ring

Allister King: "I like this guy right here."

Allister points to a guy in the front row holding up a ''Hail to the King'' sign. Allister shakes his hand.

Allister King: You got a camera?

The Guy holds up his camera and hands it to Allister. Allister then hands it to Samantha

Allister King: "Go on, Take a picture."

Allister poses with the fan. Samantha takes the picture and hands it back to Allister

Allister King: "That's a great picture."

Allister hands it back to the fan and heads back into the ring

Allister King: "Now for my other announcement. For those who seen last weeks show, they may have noticed me and Callahan leaving in my limo. Well things, happened and I got to know Callahan a bit more than I thought it did. I convinced him to show his real self. So without further ado. Please Welcome the new and improved, Shadow Callahan!!!"

Hugh Laurie's St. James Infirmary begins to play through the arena as smoke covers the entrance. Shadow Callahan comes out with a fedora on his head, a cigarette in his mouth and a cane in hand. He tilts his hat, exhales smoke and has a grin on his face. He tilts the hat over his eyes, twirls the cane as he walks down begins to walk down to the ring. He holds the cane under his arm as he flicks the cigarette away. He walks up the stairs and into the ring. He hugs Allister and then Hugs Samantha

Allister King: "Ladies and Gentleman, Shadow Callahan!"

The Crowd cheers as Shadow grabs a microphone

Shadow Callahan: "Well ahh, how you doing?"

The crowd cheers

Shadow Callahan: "Well you see, I must admit I haven't truly been myself you see. I was trying to portray a certain image. One of a man without emotion, A man who thought the world was heading for destruction but honestly that's not me."

Allister King: "Tell them about Scott Logan?"

Shadow Callahan: "Ahh yes, Scott. Well Scott isn't dead. He never was. He wasn't even injured in the slightest, well he was hurt. He paid me to fake his death. He wanted out of the business but didn't want to cause much fuss but he did anyway. Weeks before he died he filled out a huge life insurance policy. He ran away with a woman who wore make up to make her appear as a old woman but was actually a 25 year old hottie from Baltimore. He is probably living in Fiji under a new identity, the both of them. So Allister and Samantha, hold no more grudge against me."

Allister King: "Well that does sound like something he would do."

Shadow Callahan: "I myself am a pianist. I specialize in blues music. But i am a wrestler. Allister should know, I taught him everything he knows. Life moves on and so do all of us. So I thank you for hearing me out."

Allister King: "Shadow Callahan everyone!"

The Crowd cheers

Shadow Callahan: "Thank You."

Allister King: "And I hope you tune in later for the talk show for you guys sitting at home. Remember Hail!!"

The Crowd shout ''Hail to the King''

Allister King: "You got that right."

Allister's music hits as he, Samantha and Shadow leave the ring, up the ramp and disappear into the back. The camera fades to black

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

The door to the locker room of the gluttonous wrestler known as The Morbidly Obese Man slowly opens as ULOL's interviewer Lex Lexington peeks in and spots the big wrestler. Cautiously he asks.

Lex Lexington: "There you are big guy, I was wondering if I could have a few words for you?"

The big wrestler waves Lex Lexington in who quickly signals the cameraman to follow.

Lex Lexington: "I have a few questions for you, one regarding your tag partner "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson and another regarding the incident that happened in the pay-per-view Ay Caramaba! First let's get to you tag partner, is it really true that "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson is leaving ULOL? What does this spell for the former tag team champions?"

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Whether he leaves or not, it is his decision. Sure he thinks he deserves the title, but don't everyone here think the same? We have only one Primo Ultimo and it's a steep climb to get to it. I've tried and I've failed, he wants to leave because he failed to capture it? Fine by me, it's one less man for me to go through."

Lex Lexington follows up his question.

Lex Lexington: "Those are harsh words about your partner TMOM. Did you talk to him about his decision to leave?"

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Harsh maybe, but I don't sugar coat Lex, I tell it as it is. It is well known in ULOL that me and UJJ don't get along, this was a tag team of convenience which could break up at any time and it seems that the time has come. As of talking him out of it, I'm not his keeper, he's free to do what he wants, as I said him leaving makes my road to the top easier, that's one less man for me to worry about."

Lex Lexington realizes that TMOM has said all he wanted on the topic so he moves on to the next question.

Lex Lexington: "Let's move on to the next question then. Last week at the PPV, you helped yourself to a truckload of food which was intended for Q's people, how can you explain your actions?"

The Morbidly Obese Man: "I was hungry, I saw food, that was it. I won't make excuses for my actions. I was broke after I paid my hospital bills, so with no money and no food, I was starved and when the scent of food came up to my nostrils, I just lost it. Just as some people see red in extreme anger, something similar happened to me, only on this case due to extreme hunger. If Q wants I can pay him back slowly, he could even charge me interest. What's done is done, I can't regurgitate the food, I've already digested it and crapped it out. I am in the wrong so I apologize to Q but right now I cannot do anything to compensate for the food."

Lex Lexington again follows up on his question.

Lex Lexington: "Do you think Q will accept that? He is pretty passionate about his people."

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Accept it or not, as I've said earlier I can't do anything about it right now. My bank account has nothing but zeroes in it, I'm barely surviving on the food I manage to scrape up each day. So if Q wants me to find a way to compensate for my actions, he'd have to wait a while. Of course I DO intend to pay him back sometime... Now if you would excuse me I still have things to do."

Lex nods.

Lex Lexington: "Well thank you for your time TMOM, and this concludes our interview."

Lex Lexington lets himself out as the screen fades to black.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:05 am

The Camera opens to show a busy bar or maybe cafe, I can't be sure. Shadow Callahan is playing the piano as people are drinking whatever drinks they have. Allister King appears from the back and stands on a table.

Allister King: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to my Sanctuary!"

The crowd claps.

Allister King: "This is a special night. Not just because its the opening off my new business, Allister's Sanctuary but it is also the debut of ULOL's new talk show of the same name."

Allister jumps off the table.

Allister King: "Now ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight, The One and Only, Shogun!"

Shogun appears and shakes Allister's hand. They both sit down. Allister calls over a waiter.

Allister King: "Yeah I will have a cappuccino, Shogun would you like something to drink?"

Shogun smiles but shakes his head.

Shogun Shogunsen: "No thank you. What I will do however is thank you for inviting me here to your new talk show. I know we had some differences but then again we have both changed since our last encounter. However, the question in my mind is why you decided to have me as the first guest on the show?"

Shogun Shogunsen: "I mean dealings with me have caused many a good wrestler to be judged simply because the powers that be like to point fingers at everyone but themselves. You might end up being called a bad guy just for having me in this fine establishment!"

Shogun lets out a hearty chuckle as a few members of the crowd do too.

Shogun Shogunsen: "Honestly though, why me?"

Allister King: "Why not you? You're a former Primo Ultimo champion. Maybe it's just that I'm insane. Or this is my favorite, because I want to create a memorable talk show. Unlike Lex. I'm willing to stand up to you guys and say the questions that everyone wants to hear."

The Waiter brings Allister his cappuccino.

Allister King: "Merci. Now let's get down to it shall we?"

Allister puts his feet up on another chair and takes a drink of coffee.

Allister King: "Exactly why do you have this deep hatred for Q? I mean you come out nearly every week and call him a complete dickhead but I can't remember exactly why?"

Shogun Shogunsen: "Let me refresh your memory then. I hate Q because he IS a dickhead. He couldn't even come out himself to screw me out of the Primo Ultimo title. He had Troy send out a fake! He hides behind this mask of self righteousness no pun intended. He pretends that he is the good guy and obviously Troy has turned around to becoming a nice guy."

Shogun shakes his head in disgust.

Shogun Shogunsen: "The Guy is the biggest hypocrite on this roster. He constantly comes out saying that I ignored him for months. Well how many times has he refuted a single word I say about him? Not once."

Shogun Shogunsen: "I`m not going to go into another long ramble about this. The fact of the matter is. For a guy who loves to pretend to be a good guy he sure likes to shit all over the little guy. Calling BTWE a minor league federation simply because I am a hall of famer is going for the low blow. I`m not going to let him get away with his bullshit. I will not shut up and I will not back down from Q or Troy."

Allister raises his fist

Allister King: "Right on brother, fight the machine."

Allister lowers his fist and takes a drink of his coffee.

Allister King: "Well not that we got that question down lets move. So shogun tell me what was it like for a demonic god such as you growing up? Was it the lack of love from your parents that cause you to travel down the road of darkness, were you molested by the local priest, or was it some other childhood event?"

Allister takes a drink of his coffee.

Shogun Shogunsen: "The answer is simple. I was a little wrestling fan. A nerd. One of the guys who never had any friend because he was not "cool". Well eventually I got tired of people treating me like crap. I decided that instead of being bullied I would BECOME the biggest bully in the school yard. So yeah, in my life I have been a bit of a douche occasionally in my life."

Shogun shakes his head again.

Shogun Shogunsen: "My mindset cause me a lot of problems through the years but it still stands. I WILL NOT be pushed around by anyone. I do not care if you are Alexander Conway, or Marcus Troy, or The Glide. No one pushes me around ever again and that's all I have to say about that."

Allister lights a cigarette.

Allister King: "From beating games to beat people, the Story of Shogun. I like it, it has a nice name to it."

Allister takes a drink of coffee.

Allister King: "As we all know you are a former champion since you brag about it any chance ya get. You are probably planning on going for the title again in the new future. But let me ask you this. Who is it you want to fight for that title? You have many choices, The Morbidly Obese Man, The British Hawk, Brostar?"

Allister stops for a few seconds to chuckle

Allister King: "Go on show tell, who is it you want to fight?"

Shogun takes a moment to laugh before answering.

Shogun Shogunsen: "Well honestly I don't want anything to do with that paper title right now. Everyone knows Q never earned a shot. Everyone knows Troy is a bogus booker. So as long as Q is champion I honestly could care less about the Primo Ultimo title. I was the first wrestler to win it two times. Do I honestly have anything to prove to anyone?"

Shogun Shogunsen: "However when Q loses the belt expect to see me becoming the first three time Primo Ultimo champion."

Allister King: "Okay take the title out of the picture then. Who do you want to fight within the company? Any wrestler. Just a nice friendly match."

Shogun Shogunsen: "In a friendly match I would love to wrestle Raven Connoly again. Our rivalry has spanned three different federations and I would love to see how she has evolved since the last time we had a chance to wrestle one on one."

Allister drinks the last of his coffee.

Allister King: "Raven huh? Nice choice. If only I wasn't married."

Allister smokes his cigarette while looking around incase Samantha was near

Allister King: "Troy, the man who I dethroned due to finding a little itty bitty loophole. You seem to be building a new hatred for him. We can obviously see why. He screwed you out of a championship, Teamed with a man I see as your rival, Q. Don't ask me to say his name, still cant pronounce it. You seem to be egging on him and his little gang of misfits. How do you that what you are doing isn't a trap? A highly detailed trap to capture and humiliate the former deity of darkness?"

Shogun Shogunsen: "I honestly don't care if its a trap. Let them "trap" me. Let them try and humiliate me. I promise you that no matter what they say, every wrestler allied with Troy is scared of me. Troy himself if afraid of me. They know that I am the most dangerous man in wrestling. I`m pissed off. They pissed off the wrong guy and now they are gonna pay for it."

Allister King: "A lot of confidence in that statement. Now a few questions to get to know the man that is you."

Allister takes a final smoke of his cigarette before putting it out.

Allister King: "Who do you say is your influences in the wrestling industry? It doesn't matter if you worked with them or not? It can even be multiple."

Shogun Shogunsen: "Red Dragon is the man who made me the wrestler I am today. He gave me my first break in wrestling. He gave me the chance to wrestle in front of a bunch of people. So anyone who has a problem with me and wishes I was not a wrestle can go talk to Red Dragon about it because he made Shogun."

Allister King: "Ya make it sound like he is Doctor Frankenstein and your his monster but whatever. We all know about your history with Black Thorn Wrestling Entertainment or BTWE if your prefer and you talk about it like a Jehovah witness talks about jesus. We also know that your wrestled there with Shadow Callahan. So I'm going to ask this. What is your favorite match you wrestled there and whats your favorite match wrestled else where?"

Shogun Shogunsen: "Everyone wants me to say that my favorite match was the hell in a cell. The same hell in a cell that broke me into the wrestling scene. I threw a guy through one of those big cell doors it was fucking awesome you should find it."

Shogun chuckles.

Shogun: "Besides that I could never pick a favorite match period. Sure I liked beating that blowhard two faced sell out The Glide in a great wrestling match. But I liked wrestling against a lot of people who aren't as famous as Mr sellout himself."

Allister King: "Okay now if I might quote Monty Python here I will give you 3 questions. What is your name? What is your quest and what is your favorite color?"

Shogun Shogunsen: "My Name is Shogun. My quest is to kick ass and entertain. My favorite color is cyan."

Allister King: "Well that will do for the interview. I hope you have had fun here. But before you go I have a small present for you."

Allister clicks his fingers and the waiter brings over a small box.

Allister King: "And here it is!"

Allister opens it and takes out a medal.

Allister King: "This has been a great interview and iI hope to you again sometime in the future."

Allister holds out the medal and his hand for a handshake

Shogun gives Allister a hearty hand shake and takes the medal with a smile before putting it around his neck.

Shogun: "Thank you very much for having me Allister. Any time you want to have me on the show don't be afraid to ask. I`d be happy to be a regular."

Allister King: "Shogun Everyone!!"

The crowd give a round of applause as Shogun leaves.

Allister King: "Well..."

Allister climbs up onto the table

Allister King: "Ladies and Gentlemen, that was our first show. I hope you enjoyed it. Now Callahan play me out!"

Shadow Callahan plays the piano as the camera slowly fades to black.

And the scene quickly fades back in, as a new arrival steps in. Prompting the patrons to suddenly give a surprised cheer.

The newcomer is none other than the top-flight takedown artist of the ring. He is the world-famous icon known only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

He waves to the fans, all the while taking an extra interview mic as he passes by Shadow Callahan.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Don't mind me! Keep playing, Sam!"

The masked man addresses the patrons in attendance.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I have a talk show taping to do a few blocks down! I heard Shogun was here to speak his mind! All I can say right now is that not only has Mr. BTWE junior varsity been backing down from me for months! He has done everything he could think of! Short of leaving the ULOL! To avoid me! All I see! Is a devil worshipper getting unglued! Just after losing one match! He cannot or will not admit it! So I've come here to say it for him!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing hands the microphone to Allister King, then makes his exit, waving goodbye as the patrons urge him to stay on for a bit longer.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

The scene fades in. We are outside the office of the General Manager of the ULOL. Then we see The British Hawk walking towards the door. He stops outside the door and looks down. He sighs and knocks on the door. The British Hawk then enters and marches directly to the desk of Marcus Troy. The man himself is sitting in his chair, he smirks as TBH approaches. TBH however, tries to not make eye-contact with him. TBH sighs again as he speaks.

The British Hawk: "Alright Troy, you wanted to see me? What do you want?"

TBH's tone makes it clear that he doesn't want to be in the office. He scans around the office, waiting for Troy to respond.

Marcus Troy looks at The British Hawk and chucks a contract on his table. The contract slides stopping right before it falls off the table.

Marcus Troy: "Here it is, your contract renewal. Sign it and you can be on your way."

Marcus Troy's expression is one of amusement as he sees The British Hawk look over the contract as flashes of anger is seen on the young wrestler's face.

The British Hawk: "Is this some sort of a joke?"

TBH reads over the contract again and again. His facial expressions doesn't change.

The British Hawk: "What the hell is this shit Marcus? This is considerably lower then my current contract."

TBH slides the contract back at Troy.

The British Hawk: "I'm not signing this Troy. This is a friggin' joke of a contract. No way."

TBH crosses his arms.

The manager of the United League of Lunatics merely shrugs his shoulders in indifference.

Marcus Troy: "Joke of a contract? I believe this is your value Mr. Hawk so that is what I offered you. If you don't want it, I'm sure there are other hungry newbies out there whom I can hire for pretty cheap. Sign it or not, it's not my concern anymore."

Marcus Troy leans back and waves his hands dismissing the young wrestler.

The British Hawk scoffs at Troy.

The British Hawk: "For the last year or so I have put myself on the line time and time again under your reign. I tried my best to put on the best show possible. Hell my wrestling career nearly ended a few months ago. But what have I got in return for it? When Bianca got kidnapped did you bother to do anything? No.. When I got severely injured, did ULOL offer to pay for any of my medical bill? No."

TBH looks severly pissed.

The British Hawk: "I do what I do in the ring for both WHW & ULOL, which then technically means that I'm doing it for you and you expect me to sign that piece of CRAP?! No way Troy."

Marcus Troy's only reaction is another shrug.

Marcus Troy: "Suit yourself."

He drops the contract back in a drawer.

Marcus Troy: "What are you still here for? Discussion's over."

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

VS

Jasmine Lee: "The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first Gina "The Wild" Sheridan"

“Highway to Hell” by AC/DC starts to sound and Gina “The Wild” Sheridan accompanied with Summer Bold walks down the entrance ramp and enters the ring to little fanfare.

Jim Jackson: "Gina looking to get some payback here after Raven's attack on her and Lady Bianca at Ay Caramba!"

Brad Blood: "I'm not so sure I would be so quick to step in the ring with Raven after what she did last week, but that's just me"

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Raven Connoly!"

'Map Of The Problematique' by Muse starts playing throughout the arena, suddenly a wall of flames shoot up across the stage floor, after a few moments Raven Connoly emerges through the flames. She has on black spandex pants, a red and black corset, a black cane with a silver dragon design handle resting on her shoulder, and a long black coat that splits at her waist, once in the middle of her back, and on both sides, forming four tails that dance behind her as she approaches the ring.

Jim Jackson: "As we saw at Ay Caramba! Raven has changed quite a bit since we last saw her, and from what we've seen so far, it look's like it's more than a makeover "

Brad Blood: "You know, I thought the old Raven was hot, but this new Raven, with the corset, and the tight pants, and the black hair, she is a fox, this match will be fun to watch."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly starts thing off with a missile dropkick on The Wild sending her back into the turnbuckle!"

Brad Blood: "Raven moves in fast with a series of kicks followed by and Irish whip."

Jim Jackson: "Gina Sheridan smashes into the turnbuckle, and here comes Raven, and she nails Gina with a huge boot to the skull."

Brad Blood: "Gina slumps down against the ropes, man Raven is not holding anything back. You know I like the corset, but I miss the skirt."

Jim Jackson: "Raven with a bull dog, and Gina is really getting dominated here! Yes Brad, we all know that you wouldn't mind getting dominated by Raven."

Brad Blood: "Well, I wouldn't min..., wait, oh, uhm, Gina gets to her feet and throws a punch, Raven counters it into an arm drag."

Jim Jackson: "Gina just can't seem to get an offense going here. Raven goes for a Irish whip but Gina counters and sends Raven into the ropes."

Brad Blood: "Gina goes for the clothesline but Raven ducks, Gina off the ropes and goes again but Raven with a scoop slam, and BAM!! That was a great shot of Ravens cleavage, oh and Gina looks pretty hurt."

Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly has Gina Sheridan down on the canvas. Raven has a nasty look in her eyes, Raven going up the turnbuckle, Raven off the top rope with a 450 Splash!"

Brad Blood: "Gina Sheridan is done, Raven going for the cover, wait, she's not going for the cover, Raven pulling Gina up by her hair, Gina can barley stand, and Raven nails her with an elbow smash sending Gina into the corner."

Jim Jackson: "This is unnecessary, Raven could have won this, now she's just toying with Sheridan."

Brad Blood: "So many different jokes I can say here...mind overloading!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly grabs Gina and throws her into the turnbuckle, Raven Connoly runs towards Gina, does a cartwheel jumping into the air and wrapping her legs around their head, Raven Connoly locks her legs around their head and pulls them to the mat locking in a koji clutch executing a 'Taste of Heaven' Sheridan can't resist anymore and taps. That's it, it's over!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match by submission, Raven Connoly!

Jim Jackson: "Raven completely dominated Gina in that match, this new Raven is definitely going to be a force to be reckoned with."

Brad Blood: "Look at that look Jim, I don't think she's done. Raven slides out of the ring, she grabs a steel chair, this probably isn't good for Gina."

Jim Jackson: "This is disgusting, she's already won the match! Raven's back in the ring, and she nails Gina across the back with a chair shot, followed by another."

Brad Blood: "Wait a minute, I think the cavalries coming!"

Nao Fook Mi slides into the ring just as Raven Connoly was about to deliver a blow to the head of Gina Sheridan. Quickly snatching the steel chair away from Raven, the oriental superstar confronts her peer.

Nao Fook Mi: "What has gotten into you? This is not the actions of the Raven Connoly I respected. You have changed my friend and I do not like what I see, last week you attacked both Lady Bianca de Sade and Gina Sheridan, today you beat-down on an already defeated opponent. Whether this is but a phase or not, one thing is certain and it is that you are starting to cross the line and I'm here to pull you back before you fall into the deep end."

Fook Mi looks into the eyes of Raven Connoly trying to find a hint of the woman she once respected.

Raven Looks right back at Nao Fook Mi with a cold piercing glare and then laughs to herself.

Raven Connoly: "You want to know whats gotten into me, Nao, I'll tell you exactly what's gotten into me. I've finally came to my senses and decided to stop letting my true potential go to waste. I've decided to stop watching all these hacks walk around and call themselves champions while I pander to these mindless drones and play the good girl. Let me take you on a history lesson Noa, I started in a federation called Black Thorn Wrestling, and I became the World Champion, and when that federation closed it's doors, I was still champion. Then I went on to WHW,and I became the WHW World Champion, when WHW closed it doors, I was still champion. Then I came here, and I became ULOL's first double champion holding both the ULOL Campeón no Masculino and Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly, until Marcus stripped me of my Titles."

Raven pauses and smiles, a much more sinister smile then the one the ULOL fans are used to coming from Raven.

Raven: "Do you see a pattern here Nao? Do you see my point I'm trying to make. I've never lost a championship, NEVER!!! I'm the best there is in this business, and I'm tired of holding back and following the rules. She doesn't deserve to be in the same ring as me, Bianca had no right to put that championship around her waist, SHE CAN'T HOLD A DAMN CANDLE TO ME!!!"

Raven pauses and looks down at Gina.

Raven: "I'm taking back my titles, and then I'm taking the ULOL Primo Ultimo, because I deserve it, because I'm the best there is. If you want to get in my way Nao, then I'll just leave you laying on the mat broken as well."

Raven rolls out of the ring and walks towards the ramp, she pauses at the bottom of the ramp and looks over her shoulder back into the ring at Nao Fook Mi, then she turns back and makes her way up the ramp.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

"Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing on the speakers as smoke rises from the floor. Out from the smoke the figure of Marcus Troy, the general manager of United League of Lunatics emerges from the back. He casually walks down the entrance ramp and heads to the ring with a mic in hand as the crowd starts booing.

Marcus Troy: "Well it seems that things have gotten a little interesting here in ULOL. Before we end the night, I have another special announcement to make. Starting next week we shall have a tournament for the number one contender for the ULOL Primo Ultimo Title."

Marcus Troy captures the crowd's attention with his statement.

Marcus Troy: "Unbeknownst to the roster, I've put a poll on the ULOL website on who the fans want to fight Q for the title. The top four names that came out are, Alexander Conway, Shogun, The Morbidly Obese Man and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson! So next week we shall host a number one contender tournament. Round one will have two singles matches Alexander Conway against "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson and Shogun against The Morbidly Obese Man. The winners shall advance to the semi-finals and the last man standing will face Q in a title match this coming PPV."

Murmurs of excitement emanate from the crowd.

Marcus Troy: "I'm sure that got the blood in everyone boiling, with this tournament, we can put to rest on WHO is the best in ULOL, on WHO is the rightful Primo Ultimo."

Marcus Troy drops the mic as "Make Them Suffer" by Cannibal Corpse starts playing again on the speakers and he exits the ring and heads to the back.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Behind12

The scene opens in the training area with Chuck Norris yelling to "Push it Harder" and Leon Hinomoto is on a strength machine.

Leon Hinomoto: "I can't let that happen again. I can't be the first to go like I was last time. I must become better that what i am. I must force myself, push past the pain. I must move mountains, I MUST MAKE IT RAIN!!!!!!!!!"

Leon keeps pumping the iron, with the passion of a proud warrior, and the scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:06 am

Ragki Nikara walks into Marcus Troy's office and sits in the nearest chair. The man takes off his hat and holds it. He stretches back and looks at the ULOL's General Manager. He puts his elbow on the table and rests his head on his hand.

Ragki Nikara: "Let's get right to the point, Mr. Troy. I want to wrestle for some cash and you happen to have a wrestling federation. Can we make a deal tonight so I can start to make some sweet, green cash?"

Ragki smirks and sits back up in the chair. He chuckles slightly.

Ragki Nikara: "What do ya say? I wrestle and make you money and you give me money. Sound good?"

He waits for Troy's response while fiddling with his hat.

The General Manager examines his latest visitor. When he does speak, the first thing he says is.

Marcus Troy: "Tall guy. Oriental. Giant Baba is dead, so I'm assuming you're...Ragki, right?"

Marcus Troy eyes the tall man, not unlike how you would check out a new puppy from the animal shelter, before deciding whether to buy him.

Marcus Troy: "I'll give you a tryout. Depending on how you do, we could arrange something more permanent. But I'll be straight with you on this. You've lost all these years just trying to get healthy again, because another guy on my roster went nuts on you. ULOL isn't going to be a place where you get easy money. You get a chance, but that is all you'll be getting for now."

Marcus' expression remains neutral as he explains his terms to the rookie.

Ragki cracks his knuckles as he smirks back at the General Manager.

Ragki Nikara: "Do you really think a guy like me would let a doctor keep me from training? Hell no. I've been training, I'm stronger, and I'm willing to get in the ring. I'll prove I'm worth it in there Mr. Troy."

Ragki waits for Troy's response as he puts his hat back on.

Marcus Troy: "Then you are no good to me, if you keep ignoring doctors' orders."

Troy's expression gives away his skepticism.

Marcus Troy: "I understand you're motivated. But just how many years did you lose by trying to train, despite your injuries? How much more punishment can your body now take? For all I know, you might compete for two or three months, then be forced to retire because you pushed yourself too far."

Troy raises his hand before Ragki could reply.

Marcus Troy: "I'm not done yet. I'll still schedule a tryout for you, but if you are signed to ULOL, I'm going to expect you to actually take better care of yourself. Because I'm not doing it for you."

Ragki stands to leave. He turns back to the man at his table.

Ragki Nikara: "Thanks for the opportunity at least, Mr. Troy. I'll show you what I can do in the ring."

Ragki leaves and pulls the door closed behind him.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

"Life is Beautiful" by Sixx AM blares throughout the arena and when the lyrics start to play Ray Kamaura, the mammoth member of the DWMA, makes his way to the ring very slowly. He is proudly wearing both of his championships on his shoulders. The giant superstar moves to the ring apron and climbs the stairs while starting to talk.

Ray Kamaura: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the Leader of the DWMA, and the absolute greatest champion the ULOL has ever seen, MYSELF."

Ray, the colossal being, moved into the center of the ring and held up his two belts. One being the ULOL Campeónes Compañero and the other being the Correa Grande Del Oro De DWMA.

Ray Kamaura: "Aside from Leon, my partner and the second greatest superstar to walk these halls and stand in this ring, I am the single most powerful man in the ULOL. I am the leader of the absolute juggernaut that is the DWMA. Think of it this way, Yuki Monotomo is a champion, and Leon Hinomoto is a double champion, like myself. But I have complete leadership over two other champions. There are a total of five golden belts between the three of us."

The fans start chanting "No Balls" while others chant "DWMA".

Ray Kamaura: "It seems that the crowd is divided on what to chant. But what do I care? I am the greatest superstar ever. My name now stands above such greats as Alexander Conway, Shogun, and UJJ. I am greater than they and i hold the controlling power in the ULOL, aside from Marcus Troy. I guess the point I’m trying to convey is that... ... ... I am the best. That’s all I ever wanted you people to know."

Ray's music starts to play as the massive giant, glittered with gold, hops out of the ring and walks up the ramp. He exits the arena.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

A rising wall of cheers builds, as the audience enthusiastically reacts to the resumption of the talk show after the break. The host goes right back to where he left off before cutting for commercials: giving the spotlight to his guest, whose very elaborate mask shines under the studio lights.

He is none other than the costumed crimefighter of the squared circle. The important icon known to millions only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Talk Show Host: "Welcome back! Mr. Q, before we went to commercial, I asked you about what happened with the Morbidly Obese Man. He ate all the food that's supposed to be sent as aid for your people. And he's apologized for it. He's offered to pay you back for it, however he can. Would this be at least a start to, maybe, mending fences between the two of you?"

A replay of the very fat man's latest interview is played.

Quote :

The Morbidly Obese Man: "I was hungry, I saw food, that was it. I won't make excuses for my actions. I was broke after I paid my hospital bills, so with no money and no food, I was starved and when the scent of food came up to my nostrils, I just lost it. Just as some people see red in extreme anger, something similar happened to me, only on this case due to extreme hunger. If Q wants I can pay him back slowly, he could even charge me interest. What's done is done, I can't regurgitate the food, I've already digested it and crapped it out. I am in the wrong so I apologize to Q but right now I cannot do anything to compensate for the food."

Lex Lexington again follows up on his question.

Lex Lexington: "Do you think Q will accept that? He is pretty passionate about his people."

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Accept it or not, as I've said earlier I can't do anything about it right now. My bank account has nothing but zeroes in it, I'm barely surviving on the food I manage to scrape up each day. So if Q wants me to find a way to compensate for my actions, he'd have to wait a while. Of course I DO intend to pay him back sometime... Now if you would excuse me I still have things to do."

The interview clip ends, and Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is impassive.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I have watched and listened to what that mountain of manmeat had to say! If he cannot replace it right away, that just means continued misery for my people! A delay means more deprivation and despair! But if that mountain of manmeat is sincere, then I will hold him to what he has said! I will see that he pays back what was eaten! We will sit down and talk this over! And maybe work out something!"

The Talk Show Host seems surprised.

Talk Show Host: "All right then! That sounds like a pretty civilized way of handling it. Your people have endured so much, and they have my full sympathies. On another note, being the champ, you got a lot of challengers looking to knock you off your perch."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Yes! Let us talk about one particular Shogun!"

Talk Show Host: "I...by all means."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing looks at the camera.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I am surprised to see Shogun now trying to sell himself as the little guy! This is THE SAME SHOGUN who brags about having the longest reign on top of the ULOL! How is that him being the little guy!"

Talk Show Host: "That's...a good point."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "This is THE SAME SHOGUN who told the other players to IGNORE little me! Hoping I would go away! Because he was threatened and frightened! Yes, IGNORE QUIOAECAOPEDIDWAZHAPZHING! That's what you told the Brostar and the others! That's what the big mountain of manmeat and that shifty manager Ferrer overheard! And read!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing continues.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "And now you want everyone to believe that YOU'RE the little guy! You Plank-Headed Beginner Trainee Wrestling Edu-plan Hall of Famer Perpetrator of An Outright Lousy and Bland Gimmick! YOU did everything you could to keep me down! All the time you were on top of the ULOL!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing gets up from his seat, walking to the audience who are enraptured by his presence.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Shogun! You gleefully sunk your McSatan's mitts on anyone who said anything bad about you! But you stayed FAR away from me whenever you could! YOU! Were the one who wants everyone to know he destroyed the main event in the ULOL! And was willing to attack GMs like Allister King! Because you want everyone to believe no one was good enough to beat you! But you also wanted the rest of the ULOL to ignore me! Even after you kept crowing you would beat ANYONE who wanted to fight or say bad things about you! YOU! Were the one who said!"

Quote :

[05:19:27 27/06/11] Shogun: "I think Qs rps are stupid."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "And you did everything you could think of to play keep-away from someone you saw as a real threat! Evil circumstances helped you out! But if all I have said about you came from the Brostar, or Taufik, or Nao Fook Mi, or that King of an Allister, or that FULL REEEEE-TARD Kamaura, you would chase them down! But there was nothing in your evildoer's burger flipping training that prepared you for me! So you tried dumping all your Unhappy Meals on me! To keep ME down! And all this happened WHILE YOU WERE THE CHAMPION!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing takes off the Primo Ultimo, dangling it in front of him.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "YOU were the used toilet paper champion LONG before I took this off you! You AVOIDED me! And used every tragedy and obstacle I fell into to keep selling your Supersized Stinky DARKNESS! But never fear, you evildoer! I won't disrespect you by IGNORING you, the way YOU did to me! I WILL tell you that hiding behind a MOD LOCK is definitely junior varsity!"

The audience bursts into applause, but Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing interrupts them.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "If you want to find out if it was really me who beat you at Uno Mas, we can settle it the old fashioed way! But I don't think you'll go for it! Because BTWE junior varsity burger flippers aren't required to have courage! Only know how to do a short order, and clean the toilet!"

An image appears, just as the audience again applauds wildly.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

"Welcome to the Club Now" by Manian booms throughout the stadium as Yuki Monotomo walks down the ramp with the gold title on his shoulder. Plastered over Musashi's face is a piece of duct tape with "DWMA" written in red sharpie. He humps the air in the direction in some female fans before heading to the ring. Yuki climbs into the ring and brings the mic to his face.

Yuki Monotomo: "Ladies and gentlemen, did I mention ladies? The DWMA now holds the Correa Grande Del Oro de DWMA! So while we're waiting to get it fixed, and possibly have a little bit smelted into our solid gold hummers, we're going to just use the duct tape. But the title is still the title! We here at the DWMA would like to thank all of our fans for all your support!"

Yuki points to a group of big breasted female fans in the crowd with white tee-shirts with red lettering that spell out "DWMA" on their giant chests. He winks at them then continues speaking again.

Yuki Monotomo: "Some we'd like to thank in private. But that's not the main reason I'm out here tonight. I'm here to tell you what the title being in the DWMA's possession is all about. First of all, the title is owned by the stable, so it can't be won from a single person. In order to win the Correa Grande Del Oro de DWMA from the DWMA is to beat all of us! In a gauntlet match! The order of the matches will be Leon, followed by myself, then Ray! In order to win the title from the stable, you have to be better than the stable! Ladies of the ULOL, you may fall at my feet now, for I always have been great even if you had strayed from the path my angels! I will forgive you and yes, you may join my harem! I leave you with that offer!"

"Welcome to the Club Now" by Manian plays as Yuki drops the microphone in the middle of the ring and points to the group of lady fans with milk mounds. The ladies' man beckons them over with his finger and they scramble to exit the crowd, pushing people out of their way. They latch onto Yuki who wraps his arms around them, exiting to the hallways with 2 girls and 4 boobs on each arm.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Marcus Troy is at his desk in his office. There are a few papers in front of the man, and it would appear that he is looking over them. However, he is suddenly interrupted by the loud noise of his door smacking the wall as Alexander Conway struts into the room. Alexander looks at the marks on the wall from where the door hit for a few moments before looking over at Marcus and shrugging his shoulders. He then walks over to Marcus Troy’s desk before pushing Marcus’s things out of the way and sitting on top of Marcus’s desk in a scene that is reminiscent of last week.

Alexander Conway: “Well, buddy, last week you dismissed me from your office instead of giving me what I asked. Now I’m back, and I want that money. There’s no need for you to get all angry and try to tell me no. There’s no reason for you to say that you can’t afford it, either. You see, everyone knows that Jack Johnson is quitting because, like a petulant child, he’s upset that he never gets his way. Although, maybe if he was half as good as he seemingly thinks he is, he wouldn’t keep losing matches. But nonetheless, since Johnson is leaving as well as that other failure, the one that is British, you now have a surplus of cash that I would love to take. So why don’t you make your next Primo Ultimo Champion a happy man, and just give him the money?”

Alexander drums his fingers on Troy’s desk as he awaits Troy’s response.

Marcus Troy looks at Conway then sighs...

Marcus Troy: "You fail to realize that your contract is already as good as it is. The contract I offered to Mr. Cobb includes a clause that if he doesn't deliver and bring in the crowd, I fire him on the spot and he pays me the amount of the remaining time left in his contract. Of course being an arrogant man, Mr. Cobb accepted never thinking that he would ever fail. So in other words, if he does not make me money he'll owe me money. If you really want a similar contract Conway I can easily oblige."

Troy looks at Conway for a response.

Alexander looks down at Marcus Troy. A look of consideration is on his face, but it soon becomes a grin.

Alexander Conway: "You do realize, you announced not too long ago that your fans voted me into your new tournament, which I will win. I don't really think I would have any problem fulfilling such a contract, and truthfully, I doubt Mr. Cobb will have trouble with it either. The standards of the fans are rather low."

Alexander's grin soon fades into a snear as he leans closer to Troy.

Alexander Conway: "But why don't we cut the crap, Marcus? Do you really think that the new guy is the only thing that bothers me? Please, he's just the straw that broke the camel's back. I've seen Ethan's contract. Not only is he being paid more than me, but he has more benefits listed on it than I do. If he's being paid more than me, then how am I to know that Shogun isn't being paid more than me? Or William LaCroix? Or anyone else in this company? Why should other less talented and less intelligent individuals be paid more than me, Marcus? It just doesn't make sense, now does it?"

Alexander cocks his head to one side, unfortunately not looking anywhere near as pleasant as he did when he walked in.

Marcus Troy feints a sigh and replies.

Marcus Troy: "There is no pleasing you is there? Well I'll tell you what Conway, I'll offer you a better contract... AFTER THE CURRENT ONE EXPIRES! You signed the old contract, you agreed to the terms and now you are bound by it and oh look!"

Marcus pulls out Conway's contract.

Marcus Troy: "You still have FOUR months to go, so until then... You are just wasting my time and yours."

Alexander reaches out and grabs the contract from Marcus’s hands before rolling it into a ball and tossing it behind him.

Alexander Conway: “So you want to play it like that, eh? Alright, Marcus, have it your way. You have four months, and only four months, to accumulate a rather large sum of funds. Between now and then, I plan on winning the Primo Ultimo Championship for a second time. I also plan on using my Boleto Dorado to win either the Campeónes Compañero or the Correa. I’ll control three of the ULOL’s championships, and I’ll use the bonus that comes with holding them to make up for your stupidity until my contract expires. But, because I will have doubled my success with your company by that time, I’ll expect double of what I wanted here today to be the starting point for the negotiations.”

Alexander hops off the desk and begins walking towards the door.

Alexander Conway: “We both know the starting point for negotiations is never the accepted amount, Troy. So I hope you realize just how much you are actually going to have to pay, and it’ll be all because of your greed.”

As Conway reaches the door of Troy’s office, he twists the door knob before pulling the door open.

Alexander Conway: “And people say that Marcus Troy is a shrewd businessman, ha!”

With that, Conway slams the door behind him as he leaves Marcus Troy’s office.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:07 am

VS

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Ethan O'Reilly, he is Alexander Conway!"

"Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F blares throughout the arena as Alexander Conway steps out from the backstage of the ULOL. He looks over the booing audience before he walks down to the ring.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, his opponent for tonight, Shogun Shogunsen!"

"Hybird Stigmata-the Apostasy" by Dimmu Borgir hits the speakers suddenly as the lights in the arena begin flashing on and off. As soon as the first lyric is screamed Shogun bursts out from the hind the curtain to the roar of cheers mixed in with boos. The wrestler has the same golden belt around his waist. When he makes it down the ramp Shogun quickly rolls into the ring and faces his opponent.

Jim Jackson: "We're in for a treat tonight, Brad. Two of the most successful men in the ULOL are facing off tonight."

Brad Blood: "That's right, Jim. Shogun is a former two time Primo Ultimo Champion while Alexander is a fomer one time Primo Ultimo Champion, the current Ligero Maximo Champion, and the current holder of the Boleto Dorado. These two have fought on numerous occasions in the past, but who would you say has the advantage this time, Jim?"

Jim Jackson: "Well, Shogun has the size and strength edge, but Alexander is faster and has the better technical prowess. However, Shogun has been extremely motivated lately, so I would give the overall advantage to him."

Brad Blood: "I disagree. I think Alexander has the advantage due to the presence of Ethan O'Reilly. Ethan has a reputation for attacking people after matches, and you can be sure that the thought of that will be distracting for Shogun."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "These two men lock up for a test of strength, but Alexander sweeps the leg and sends Shogun falling to the mat. Conway grabs a leg of Shogun and pulls it over Shogun's head, causing Shogun to roll over and onto his feet."

Brad Blood: "Shogun doesn't look happy about being toyed with. He charges at Conway, but Conway pulls Shogunsen's arm into a hammerlock!"

Jim Jackson: "Conway releases the arm before slapping Shogun on the back of the head. Shogun again charges at Alexander, but Conway ducks a clothesline before pulling Shogunsen to the mat with a backslide pin!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Conway almost won this match without even doing anything! Shogun had better get his head in the game."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun kicks Alexander in the gut before irish whipping him into the ropes. As Conway comes back, Shogun lifts Conway onto his shoulders before crushing him into the mat with a samoan drop! Big stalling suplex from Shogunsen! Shogun goes for the cover."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Alexander kicks out at two. Bodyslam from Shogun! Shogun goes for an elbow drop, but Alexander rolls out of the way. Irish whip from Alexander is followed up with a high dropkick!"

Jim Jackson: "As Shogun hops back to his feet, Conway catches him with a second dropkick! And a third! Arm drag from Conway! He's on fire! Conway irish whips Shogunsen into the corner before charging in. Conway jumps and drives both knees into the chest of Shogun!"

Brad Blood: "Conway pulls Shogunsen in and snap suplexes him to the mat. Conway takes a short run before dropping a knee into the face of Shogun! Conway climbs onto the turnbuckle."

Jim Jackson: "But Shogun jumps up! He goes to pull Conway down, but Conway kicks him away! Missile dropkick! Conway hooks a leg for the cover."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Shogunsen kicks out at two. Conway gives him a few hard punches before irish whipping him into the ropes, but Shogunsen flies back with a big clothesline!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun lifts Conway onto his shoulders, but Conway fights out of it before following up with a neckbreaker! Conway bounces off of the ropes, but Shogun suddenly gets up and delivers a hellish spear to Alexander!"

Brad Blood: "Conway tries to roll out of the ring, but Shogunsen grabs a hold of him and yanks him to his feet. Shogunsen tries to hook Conway up for the Demonic Sacrifice, but Conway fights him off with hard elbows before jumping out of the ring."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun doesn't want to give Alexander anytime for recovery and follows him out. Alexander sees Shogun and is quick to move behind Ethan O'Reilly. Ethan and Shogun enter into a stare down, but I think Shogun knows that Ethan can't do a thing without getting Alexander DQed."

Brad Blood: "Shogun just slapped Ethan! He's goading Ethan to attack him, but Ethan isn't falling for it."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun dives into Ethan with a big punch before going after Alexander, who rolls into the ring. Shogun follows him, but Conway catches him with a low dropkick. Conway pulls Shogun up for a DDT, but Shogun drives Conway into the turnbuckle."

Brad Blood: "Shogun with a series of shoulder thrusts as Conway is trapped! Shogun stops before the count of five. He lifts Conway onto the top turnbuckle before punching him in the head and climbing up as well."

Jim Jackson: "But Conway gives Shogun a few hard punches before pushing him off of the turnbuckle! Flying elbow drop misses! Shogun lifts Alexander up before throwing him with a fallaway slam! Shogun bounces off the ropes before dropping a leg across the throat of Conway! Shogunsen holds down the shoulders for the pin attempt."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Conway with a kick out at two. Shogunsen tries to pull Conway to his feet, but Conway tosses his arms off before connecting with a series of short jabs to the jaw of Shogunsen."

Jim Jackson: "Conway does a little dance, channeling the Honky Tonk Man before knocking Shogun down with a looping right hand. He pulls Shogun back up before doing a Shake, a Rattle, and a Roll! Swinging neckbreaker! Conway goes for the cover."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Shogunsen pushes Conway off at two. Conway doesn't look like he expected that blast from the past to gain him victory."

Jim Jackson: "Conway grabs the legs of Shogunsen and locks him into a cloverleaf! You can see the pain on Shogun's face as he pulls Conway towards the ropes."

Brad Blood: "Shogunsen is almost to the ropes, but Conway releases the hold and drags him back to the center of the ring before reapplying the cloverleaf!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun's hand is hovering above the mat, is he going to tap? No! Shogun begins to drag Conway to the ropes once more. He grabs a hold of the bottom rope, but Conway refuses to break the hold!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three! Four..."

Brad Blood: "Conway drops the legs just before the count of five. Conway pulls Shogun to his feet, but Shogun lifts Conway up and slams him to the mat with a quick death valley driver!"

Jim Jackson: "Both men get back to their feet, but Shogun dives into Alexander with a big clothesline! Shogun snapmares Conway to the mat before locking Alexander into a sleeper hold!"

Brad Blood: "Shogunsen has turned the tables on Conway! Conway desperately scratches at Shogun's arm as he tries to break the submission hold, but to no avail! Conway realizes this, and begins working a different strategy."

Jim Jackson: "Conway forces a few of his fingures inbetween his neck and Shogunsen's arm before lowering his chin to remove the threat of passing out! Conway works his way to his feet before elbowing Shogunsen in the stomach!"

Brad Blood: "But Shogunsen just lifts Conway up and slams him down to the mat with a big bodyslam! Powerslam from Shogun! Shogun pulls Conway up and tries for a back suplex, but Conway flips over and hits Shogun with a backstabber!"

Jim Jackson: "Reverse STO! Conway grabs both Shogun's head and arm before flipping over and locking Shogun into a bridging arm triangle choke! Shogunsen is in trouble once again! But Conway positioned himself too close to Shogun, who hits him with a hard punch right to the nose!"

Brad Blood: "That's one way to escape that hold. I think Conway's nose is bleeding....yes it is. Conway looks pissed!"

Jim Jackson: "Is Shogun someone you want to pissed at? Alexander needs to stay calm if he wants to win this match. Conway walks into a big full nelson bomb! Shogunsen goes for the cover."

Don Q. Hotte: "One..."

Brad Blood: "Conway out at one! Now Shogun and Alexander are trading punches, but Shogunsen easily gets the edge! Shogun whips Conway into the ropes before sending him flying with the back body drop!"

Jim Jackson: "As Conway gets to his feet, Shogunsen comes charging at him and goes for the big boot, but Conway ducks! The referee just got annihilated!"

Brad Blood: "Shogunsen turns around and gets kicked in the gut. Conway pulls him in before using the ropes to hit a tornado DDT!"

Jim Jackson: "Alexander Conway pulls Shogun into a front facelock before scooping Shogun into the air and spiking Shogun's head into the mat with a Northern Lights Bomb! That's his new version of the Signum Excellence! Conway covers Shogun!"

Brad Blood: "But the referee is still out! Conway yells at the referee, but the referee obviously can't respond. Alexander gets up and does his best to revive the referee, but to no avail."

Jim Jackson: "Conway covers Shogun again for a few seconds as he waits to see if the referee might come to. The referee doesn't so Conway pulls Shogun up before tossing Shogun out of the ring."

Brad Blood: "What is Conway doing? Why not just lock Shogun into a submission hold until the referee regains his senses?"

Jim Jackson: "I guess Conway doesn't like that idea, Brad. He's again trying to revive the referee, but wait! Ethan O'Reilly is running over to the side of the ring that Shogun is on! Alexander sees him and slides out of the ring. As Ethan goes to clothesline Shogun, Alexander pushes Shogunsen out of the way and gets clotheslined by Ethan!"

Brad Blood: "Conway just got flattened! He should have just allowed Ethan to clothesline Shogun."

Jim Jackson: "Obviously, Alexander doesn't want help defeating Shogun. Ethan tries to go after Shogun again, but Shogun rolls into the ring as the referee finally recovers."

Brad Blood: "Oh yeah, now the referee gets up. And look at Shogunsen, he's trying to goad Ethan into the ring."

Jim Jackson: "But Ethan is too smart to do that. Wait....he's smiling at Shogunsen? As the referee comes closer to the ropes to begin the count, Ethan grabs Conway! He's lifting Conway up for a powerbomb!"

Brad Blood: "It looks like Ethan is deciding to get Shogunsen DQed! Look at Shogun's face, I think he has just realized that too!"

Jim Jackson: "O'Reilly tosses Conway, but Conway manages to land on his feet! Superkick from Conway to O'Reilly! I guess Alexander didn't take too kindly to Ethan's attempt to powerbomb him."

Brad Blood: "Conway should have taken it like a man, then he would be walking out of here with the win."

Jim Jackson: "Alexander slides into the ring and ducks a clothesline from Shogun. German suplex from Conway! Conway pulls himself onto the top rope before leaping for the 630˚ Senton, but Shogunsen gets the knees up! As Conway tries to recover, Shogun rolls him up for a pin!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, Shogun Shogunsen!"

Brad Blood: "Alexander Conway just got screwed! He had Shogunsen beat but the referee was inable to count it because of Shogun!"

Jim Jackson: "I thought you'd say something like, "He deserved that for not just allowing Ethan O'Reilly to attack the guy," or something like that."

Brad Blood: "It is Conway's fault for that part, but the fact is that Conway still had Shogunsen down for a three before this, and yet Shogunsen is the winner? Say it with me, Conway got screwed! Besides, Shogunsen should have been DQed and fined for attacking an official! It's ridiculous that these wrestlers can get away with attacking our referees week after week."

Jim Jackson: "Brad, it was an accident. We can't throw every match out just because someone accidently hits a referee."

Brad Blood: "Well we should be able to."

Jim Jackson: "Nontheless, Shogun got a big win tonight....Jim Rival just hit Shogun on the back of the head with a steel chair!"

Brad Blood: "Hahaha! Good man! Take him out Rival!"

Jim Jackson: "Rival throws Shogunsen over the ropes before following him out as Alexander and Ethan head to the backstage. Rival slams Shogun's head onto our commentator's table! He puts Shogunsen onto it and climbs up as well! It looks like we have to move, Brad!"

Brad Blood: "Oh, damn it, Rival! Why didn't you destroy him in the ring?"

Jim Jackson: "Jim sets up Shogun in a torture rack before flipping Shogun up and over into an Implant DDT on the table, and it gives out! The Waters of Nazareth just destroyed our announce table!"

Brad Blood: "And it destroyed Shogun!"

Jim stood over Shogun with a frigid smile of satisfaction, his eyes looking down at him like he just won first prize in a contest. After taking a minute to cherish the moment he walked over to ringside, grabbing a mic and moving back over to Shogun. He knelt down and looking him over before finally speaking.

Jim Rival: "You know the Light is such a wonderful thing. The actions you take that are heinous and deceitful will come back as vengeance ten fold. I learned this the hard and now...you have too."

Jim tone was a severely poor mockery of sincerity, the same frigid smile on his face as he paused for that brief moment to adjust his position while kneeling.

Jim Rival: "The Light didn't forget what you said and try to do to Troy when he first came back after the torture that he never deserved. So now it is time for it to come back to you and don't think for a second that this is just the end of it...heh..oh no no."

Jim slowly rose to his feet, keeping his eyes locked onto Shogun before speaking his final words.

Jim Rival: "This is only the beginning."

With that Jim dropped the mic next to him, holding his arms out mockingly before exiting the ring. "Seven Secrets Of The Sphinx" by Therion begins to fill the arena as he walks backwards up the ramp with a wider than ever smile on his face.

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Jim Jackson: "What a show Brad, what a show!"

Brad Blood: "I know, we had a great debut of C4, we had two teams who will fight The DWMA for the tag titles, not to mention a totally new Raven and we ended things with Jim Rival of all people attacking Shogun!"

Jim Jackson: "And the month just started. I can't wait for next week. Until next time folks, this is Jim Jackson signing off!"

Lucha Loco 08/07/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Lucha Loco 08/07/2011

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