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 Lucha Loco 06/12/2011

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PostSubject: Lucha Loco 06/12/2011   Sun Jun 12, 2011 10:26 am



Jim Jackson: "Good evening and welcome to Lucha Loco, where lunacy meets wrestling. Tonight we have a great card for everyone, from a four corners match to two title matches we have them all."

Brad Blood: "Don't forget a number one contender's match too Jim. Bakla and Callahan will be going against each other for a chance to win the ULOL Primo Ultimo title in the PPV."

Jim Jackson: "You are correct there Brad, but before we begin we seem to have a report from Lex Lexington..."

The ULOL Tron comes to life...

ULOL's interviewer, Lex Lexington, is in the waiting room of what appears to be a hospital or some type of medical center. A few bystanders curiously watch as Lex begins his report.

Lex Lexington: "This is Lex Lexington. I've just received an update on the medical condition of Manolo Ferrer, the manager of the Age of Pain. According to the doctors here, Mr. Ferrer has received significant injuries, which will keep him from handling the day-to-day operations of his business for the next few weeks, at the least. His injuries are not life-threatening, but he will certainly not be attending ULOL shows for some time. Mr. Ferrer himself is not available for comment. We now return you to Lucha Loco action."

Jim Jackson: "Thank you Lex, let's not keep our viewers waiting. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!






Jim is seen in his locker room, looking at if he was talking to himself in a low tone before pausing and looking over his shoulder to the camera man. A small cross is seen in his left hand as he rose to his feet and turned his full attention to the camera man and then finally noticing the interviewer.

Jim Rival: "This better be important."

Lex Lexington: "Mr. Rival we would like just to get a few comments about last week and your oppo--ERK!"

Jim had walked over to Lex and placed a firm grip over his throat with his free hand, not enough to siphon the air from him but to keep him from talking. Using his left hand while still holding the cross to lift the mic up to his face to speak.

Jim Rival: "What happened last week is not something you have to concern yourself with, you would not comprehend what I would tell someone like you so it would be a waste of breathe."

Jim kept his firm grip as he turned his attention to the camera man, just outside of camera-shot Lex was struggling to get free. Using his vice like grip to give Lex a good shake to keep him from struggling after a glare he returned his focus back to the camera.

Jim Rival: "....as for my opponents tonight, nothing more than a mere challenge set in my way to one of my goals here. If you haven't notice great thing come in the form in gold and is often used to show, in companies such as this, who is the best at what they do. I will get to show why I am in the best condition of my life, why I am the best at what everyone here does and to why others should fear who I am....now get out of my sight."

With that Jim let go of Lex who quickly gave a loud gasp audible even with the mic far from him, the camera following Jim back to his spot where he was before as the camera faded to black, not before his final words.

Jim Rival: "Let the light be with you..."






Yuki Monotomo: "I wasn't strong enough."

Yuki delivers a quick left hand to the punching bag in front of him. His half-mask is around his neck.


Yuki Monotomo: "I wasn't fast enough."

Yuki kicks at the dummy with his shin. He uses his foot as a hook to pull the dummy to the ground and follows with an axe kick down.

Yuki Monotomo: "I need to get better."

Yuki sweeps the dummy out from under itself and wretches his left arm around the dummy executing his White Dragon hold.


Yuki Monotomo: "I need to win."

Yuki lets the dummy wobble back up before sweeping the dummy out from under itself and wretching his right arm around the dummy with his knee in the middle of the dummy executing his Black Dragon Hold. Yuki lets the dummy go and grabs a drink of water. He cracks his back and super kicks the dummy. He then walks out of the room, pulling up his half-mask and the scene fades to dark blue.






The huge ULOL Tron comes to life and the image of the vice-general manager of ULOL, Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow is seen on the big screen. She clears her throat to get the crowd's attention before continuing.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Good evening. It seems that we have received numerous emails from fans about last week's show about the unfair treatment of GoodFella & Schwarz. The fact that they were booted out of the three-way tag team match by Jim Rival and Taufik."

The feisty old lady pauses as the crowd murmurs amongst themselves.

Eunice P. Winslow: "So next week on June 19, I shall book a tag team match, the winner shall proceed to fight Oriental Spices and The DWMA in a three-way TLC match for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero titles!"

The crowd cheers at the exciting announcement.

Eunice P. Winslow: "So next week, is a second chance for GoodFella & Schwarz and Getter Team... BUT!!! To make things interesting they shall also be battling Jim Rival & Taufik! That's right, a three-way tag team triangle match. Whichever team gets the first pinfall wins the title shot!"

More cheers are heard from the crowd.

Eunice P. Winslow: "So I wish all three teams good luck next week."

The VGM finishes her announcement and the screen fades to black.






The camera came into focus onto Jim and Taufik watching a television in the hallway, watching intently as Eunice gave her in ring speech regarding the tag team titles. A frigid smirk overcame his face as he turned to look at his partner, holding up the cross he always carries with him.

Jim Rival: "Looks like the light has shined on us more than ever my friend. Soon we both will get what we want. Something we very so much deserve. When the time comes and we become blessed with the gifts that the light has so much graciously given we will be known as the true best in this business."

As he waited for Taufik to respond he moved his attention back to the television, the smirk now becoming a cold smile. He was obviously happy with the news.


Taufik: "Oh fuck yea. We will get our hands on that MOTHAFUCKER S.O.B Arnold and his tag team partner next week as now let's see HOW FUCKING GREAT THEY ARE WITHOUT ME BY THEIR SIDE!!! Once we beat them and that "Gutter Team" , I am going to make history as the first man in this fucking company to have a double title match at the same night as one is for the Ultimo Primo and another is the title that both Arnold and Felix DON'T FUCKING DESERVE, which is the Campeónes Compañero. You know what Jim? Let's pay a visit to a friend of mine who can help us win these titles..."

Taufik breaks a few crates with his bare hands while waiting for the answer from Jim Rival


Jim gave a light sigh as he listened to Taufik, watching his actions with a look of un-approval on his face. Looking back to the television one last time as he spoke.

Jim Rival: "Please refrain from such words, you should know that actions speak louder than words.."

Jim turned his attention back to Taufik to raise an eyebrow. The obvious look of curiosity on his face about the for-mentioned friend. He gave a small nod before holding his arm to have him lead the way to this friend he has in mind.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 06/12/2011   Sun Jun 12, 2011 10:26 am



GoodFella is standing in the locker room of The Age of Pain and having a glass of juice. He has doubts until he finally realized that something was wrong with Taufik and June 5th was the day that he will remember all his life. His friend Taufik decided that his journey with The Age of Pain is over. However, since GoodFella & Schwarz team was formed this man acted like a different person. Now his true colors have been revealed to everybody.

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "Taufik I thought you were my buddy but you are nothing but a Judas. Jim Rival shows up after long time and what do you do? You betray us and join arms with my enemy. But you see I already had doubts about you, I was thinking to backstab you myself but then my conscience turned on and said NO DO NOT DO THAT, HE IS YOUR FRIEND. So I followed my conscience and my heart despite what my mind is telling me and what do I get? A fistful of betrayal. I mean if it wasn’t for me, you'd still be a jobber."


Felix enters and sees Arnold.

Felix Schwarz: "Well I told you that Taufik is a little rat. Look what at he did before. He kidnapped himself and then distracted us in a match where we lost Campeones Companero. Well, to be fair he is not even in our league just look at him, he is doesn't even have a solid identity. One day he is “dashing” another day he is a just spooky person and after that he is just simply dude which calls himself Simply Taufik. That guy can't even decide on who he is, how can he decide on his allies?"


Arnold thinks for a moment and agrees with him by nodding his head. He drinks a gulp from a glass, and then he starts to speak.

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "I also want to dedicate some words to my former friend and partner but now my enemy Jim Rival. It’s been a long time since we saw each other. I don’t know what happened to you in the rehab, but you blaming me for destroying your career is BULL. Don’t blame me, your accusations are false. Whiskey, beer, wine, brandy- that’s what destroyed your career. Yes we’ve been stripped from the titles when we were tag champs in the past, but it wasn’t my fault. You picked the wrong team to screw Rival... You also picked the wrong person to ally yourself to... You think that you've had the last laugh? Think again!"


Felix Schwarz: "Before we wrap up, I still want to dedicate some words to the future dead man, Taufik. He thinks he knows every single move we're gonna make, but he's dead wrong. You're gonna feel real pain. That we gonna give you. Jim Rival talks about vengeance for everything Arnold did, but you see, vengeance will be ours, there will be blood. That's right, you've fell into our rabbit hole and we will keep you trapped in it forever. Welcome to the wonderland boys. I’m sure you won’t like this travel. And to our manager Manolo Ferrer, get well soon. By the time you come back, Jim Rival and Taufik shall be no more."

Felix taps his partner on the shoulders and both of them walk away as the scene fades to away.




VS

VS

VS

Jim Jackson: "Well we have an exciting four corners match lined up for you all tonight featuring four of ULOL's rising superstars."

Brad Blood: "Rising? The Masked Man has been floating in limbo since god knows when, he lost to John "Grey Skull" Johnson remember?"

Jasmine Lee: "The following contest is a four corners match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Jim Rival!"

"Stress" by Justice erupts through out the arena as Jim Rival makes his way to the ring at a slow pace. A black background with only the golden outline of a cross leaning back is all that appears on the ULOL Tron, occasionally flickering in an almost violent fashion...

Jim Jackson: "What the?! Someone just jumped Jim Rival!"

Brad Blood: "It's GoodFella & Schwarz! They jumped Jim Rival just as he is waling down the entrance ramp! WAIT! Here comes Taufik with his Singapore cane! Now both teams are brawling with each other as they make their way to the back! Wait what about Rival's match?"

Jasmine Lee: "Um due to certain circumstances the following contest is a triangle match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, John "Grey Skull" Johnson!"

"One" from Metallica blast trough the speakers Sparks are showering as John "Grey Skull" Johnson makes his way to the ring...

Jim Jackson: "IT'S WILLIAM LACROIX! THIS TIME WILLIAM LACROIX ATTACKS JOHN JOHNSON!"

Brad Blood: "HE SPEARS GREY SKULL OFF FROM THE TOP OF THE ENTRANCE RAMP AND SENDS HIM CRASHING TO THE CRATES BELOW!!! GREY SKULL IS NOT MOVING AT ALL! LaCroix laughs out loud before exiting to the back! EMTs rush to the scene where they signal that Grey Skull is unfit to wrestle tonight! It seems he's ending a message to Grey Skull that last week's run-in will not be tolerated."

Jasmine Lee: "Um due to another unforseen circumstance the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, The Masked Man!"

"My Apocalypse" by Arch Enemy starts playing around the arena as The Masked Man makes his way down to the ring.

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man is looking to redeem himself after his loss in the last PPV."

Brad Blood: "Heh, I was expecting another attack, if that happens his opponent will be champion by default."

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for tonight, Yuki Monotomo!"

"Welcome to the Club Now" by Manian plays for a dimly lighted stage. The lights begin to flash with the beat as Yuki Monotmo walks to the stage, taking time to flirt with the ladies.

Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo, the third member of The DWMA is looking for a win too after his failure to capture the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly."

Brad Blood: "So basically we have two guys who flopped in the last PPV duking it out tonight..."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "There's the bell and instantly both men lock arms and start a grappling contest... The Masked Man gets the upper hand and snap suplexes Yuki Monotomo. Yuki Monotomo gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from The Masked Man! The Masked Man goes for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Monotomo gets a shoulder up at two! Masked climbs up to the top turnbuckle... He leaps... And his elbow hits nothing but canvas! Monotomo rolls away at the last second."

Jim Jackson: "Arm drag by Yuki Monotomo takes The Masked Man down! The Masked Man gets back up... Yuki Monotomo catches him in a sleeper hold! The Masked Man flails around but manages to grab the top rope!"

Brad Blood: "Monotomo is forced to release Masked who tries to throw a huge punch! Monotomo gets clipped allowing Masked to set him up for a piledriver... NO!!! Countered!!! Monotomo turned that piledriver attempt into a back body drop!"

Jim Jackson: "Knee drop by Yuki Monotomo... He quickly grabs The Masked Man's leg and locks in a scorpion deathlock! The Masked Man screams in pain and tries to grab on to the rope..."

Brad Blood: "He makes it! Close call for Masked... WAIT!!! Monotomo pulls him back in the middle of the ring and locks in a Boston crab instead! The Masked Man tries to use muscle to crawl back to the ropes... HE MAKES IT!"

Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo is showing his technical prowess here tonight... He throws a few punches at The Masked Man... Big lariat takes The Masked Man down... This time he locks in a crossface!"

Brad Blood: "Masked screams in pain! He tries to break free... He manages to wrench free! WAIT!!! Monotomo quickly transitions into an armbar!"

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man wrenches his arm free just before Yuki Monotomo can fully lock in the armbar. He rolls back up to his feet... Yuki Monotomo sweeps The Masked Man's leg out from under The Masked Man and wretches his left arm under The Masked Man's neck with the elbow over the Adam's apple locking in the White Dragon Hold!"

Brad Blood: "The Masked Man tries to go for the ropes... He's an ince out of reach! He struggles some more but is not making any progress... HE TAPS!!! THE MASKED MAN TAPS!!!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via submission... Yuki Monotomo!"

Jim Jackson: "A strong showing by Yuki Monotomo here tonight!"

Brad Blood: "The other members of The DWMA rush to the ring as the trio celebrates Monotomo's victory!"






Eunice P. Winslow is sitting at her desk when she hears a knock at her door.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Enter."

Suddenly the door flies open and smashes against the wall. Eunice jumps and looks up with a look of irritation.

Man: "Oh Eunice, you old hag, how the hell have you been!?"


A man walks in, he is wearing jeans, a black t shirt, a long leather coat, and a gray fedora. He sits down on a chair in front of Eunice's desk and slams his large black boots on Eunice's desk.


Connoly: "Oh, it's been a while love, can't say time has been overly nice to you, I would check your pulse to make sure you're alive but I'm afraid your hand may snap off. I got your call, so here I am, now what is so urgent that would make the woman who said she would rather die then ever speak to me again suddenly reach out to me?"


The VGM of ULOL looks at her visitor and shakes her head mildly in disapproval.

Eunice P. Winslow: "I see age hasn't mellowed you down Connoly. It's actually simple. I'm sure you still keep tabs on your daughter even if she doesn't want to speak with you... Which I can't really blame her... Well as you know she has gone MIA since last week. I know you probably know where she is. She has a title defense tonight and if she doesn't show, I may have to do something drastic and strip her of the title."

Eunice P. Winslow leans closer and stares Connoly in the eyes as she smiles...

Eunice P. Winslow: "And I know this, as much as your daughter wants nothing to do with you. You still can't help but worry for her... Besides, the Connoly name is on the line... If she doesn't show, what would that say about the Connoly wrestling clan?"

The feisty old lady leans back with a grin, her eyes never leaving Connoly.


Connoly laughs to himself a little.

Connoly: "Oh Eunice, as usual your a little off the mark. Now I know you and everyone seem to think my daughter would have nothing to do with me, but in reality Raven and I have a very good relationship. Granted, she hates the man I was in the ring, but I was actually a pretty damn good Dad Eunice. As for tarnishing the Connoly name, if I remember correctly Raven is ULOL's first double champion, not to mention she has been the world heavyweight champion in two other federations, I'd say she's doing justice to the name."

Connoly: "Now, Eunice, Raven is in her dressing room right now getting ready for her match, so you don't need to worry your wrinkled little head, you'll have your title match. I do have to admit that she was more than a little shaken up after that gun incident at your PPV. You know it amazes me that you fired me all those years ago because I attacked one of the fans, but now you run a federation where there are guns under the ring, fans are actually killed by the wrestlers, and the GM is a stumbling drunk Irishman. I must admit when Raven came to me hysterical after that PPV I was tempted to tell her to quit, you simply can't protect your fans or your wrestlers Eunice. Raven's weakness though is her loyalty to her god damn fans, which I will never understand, and apparently she can't disappoint them, so Raven is back."

Connoly: "So here's the deal Eunice, I just don't trust you or your drunkard GM to provide a safe environment for Raven, and the other few wrestlers on this joke of a rooster. So Raven will come back, but you have to hire me on to your federation. I will be Ravens Manager, now before you answer, let me advise you on something else. As I said, Raven was hysterical after that PPV, not only was she hysterical, but she was beyond pissed, the fact that she was put in that situation had her blood boiling. Now as we both know Raven got most of her personality from her mother, but I think you remember the Raven that reared her head when she was in WHW when she was pushed to far. Well she was right on that edge again, about to cross back over, and if you remember that Raven was a lot more like her old man. Now I was able to reign her back, and put her back in reality, and the Raven your fans know and love is in that dressing room. Now without me here to keep things in check, she may snap Eunice, and then you'll have another lunatic on your hands, now I'm pretty certain you don't want that. So whats it going to be Eunice?"


A deep frown appeared in Eunice's face as she pondered what Connoly proposed. After a few minutes of weighing her options, the VGM sighs reaches into her drawer and pulls out a contract and places it in front of Connoly. Her other hand slams a pen on the table.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Just so you know, I am not entirely happy with this arrangement. I know what you are capable of and I WILL be keeping my eye on you Connoly. That be said... You know where to sign."

The VGM sits back and wait for Connoly to browse over the contract given...

Eunice P. Winslow: "And just so you know... If you try something, you don't only endanger YOUR employment here but also your daughter's despite her achievements and fame."


Connoly scans the contract and then signs his name ridiculously large on the bottom.

Connoly: "Oh come now Eunice, I know you missed me love."


Connoly slides the contract back over to Eunice as a huge smile crawls over his face as he stands up.


Connoly: "Well, I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again, if your as annoying as you used to be I'm sure I'll be seeing your crypt keeper mug every time I turn around. Great to be back in your employment Eunice."


Connoly laughs loudly as he walks out of Eunice's office. Leaving Eunice frowning at the newly signed contract on her desk.




ZERO CALORIES!!!

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ZERO FAT!!!




Available in stores everywhere.





Lex Lexington is seen backstage with one-half of the current and reigning ULOL Campeónes Compañero, Nao Fook Mi.

Lex Lexington: "Good evening folks, I am here backstage with none other than one-half of Oriental Spices, Nao Fook Mi who also seems to have a title shot tonight against the ULOL Campeón No Masculino Raven Connoly. Ms. Nao, thank you for giving us some of your time for this interview."

Nao Fook Mi: "You're welcome Mr. Lexington. So ask away."

Lex Lexington nods and proceeds with the interview.

Lex Lexington: "There are rumors going around that your match tonight may not continue, that Raven Connoly is not even in the building."

Nao Fook Mi: "If that is the case, then I have sorely misjudged Ms. Connoly. If she cannot fulfill her responsibility tonight then she is not fit to be the ULOL Campeón No Masculino or even the Correa Grande del Oro. In fact she should relinquish those belts right now and allow other more deserving people hold it."

Lex Lexington seems taken aback by Fook Mi's straightforwardness.

Lex Lexington: "Isn't that a bit harsh Ms. Nao? I mean the psychological impact of what happened in the PPV must have had some sort of toll to Raven Connoly."

Nao Fook Mi: "Yes, what happened in Cojones Grande was a sad thing but it was an accident. Mr. Kuruma is still alive and with physical therapy will return to the ring. It's not like Ms. Connoly intentionally wanted to wound him. If she cannot handle that then she should just retire and make way for other wrestlers to take the limelight."

A tinge of anger is felt from Fook Mi's verbal attack.

Lex Lexington: "Retirement? Surely you jest?"

Nao Fook Mi: "Listen Mr. Lexington, people tonight may view what I said as harsh but everyone knows that I've worked really hard and climbed a very steep mountain to be where I am tonight. For me not to get my deserved title shot just because the current champion is feeling delicate is not acceptable. I endured many hardships to reach where I am today, one-half of the current ULOL Campeónes Compañero and number one contender for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino. So no I do not jest Mr. Lexington, I am very much serious. Now if you'll excuse me..."

Nao Fook Mi turns around and walks off screen...

Lex Lexington: "Well it looks like Nao Fook Mi is serious tonight... The question is if Raven Connoly will return that same seriousness, if she does make an appearance..."

Lex Lexington brings the mic down as the screen fades to black.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 06/12/2011   Sun Jun 12, 2011 10:27 am



Lex Lexington is seen in the backstage area of the ULOL arena, he walks up to Raven Connoly's locker room door. Lex Lexington knocks on the door, he waits a few moments and then opens the door slightly.

Lex Lexington: "Miss. Connoly, are you in there."

There is a few moments of silence.

Raven Connoly: "Yes, I'm guessing you want an interview Lex."


Lex Lexington: "Well if it's OK with you I did have a few questions?"

Raven Connoly: "Well, are you going to ask them through the door or are you going to come in."


Lex opens the door and slowly walks in, he nervously looks around the dressing room. Raven is standing by a heavy bag, in the corner of her locker room, she is wearing a white tank top and black track pants, her hair is back in a pony tail rather than the usual pig tails. There is sweat dripping off her face, she grabs a towel and whipes her face.

Raven Connoly: "Calm down Lex, I'm not going to attack you or anything."


Lex Lexington: "Sorry, no one has seen you since the PPV, there have been a lot of talk about your state."

Raven Connoly: "Yeah, everyone thought I lost it huh, well I will admit after the PPV I was pretty shook up, I did just shoot a man. I was thinking of just forfeiting these titles and walking away from all of this."

Lex Lexington: "You were that upset over shooting Musashi?"

Raven Connoly: "No, I mean yes I was upset that I shot him. I was more upset that there was a god damn gun under the ring, someone could have gotten critically injured, someone could have been killed, I wasn't sure I wanted to be part of a federation where something like that could even happen. So that's why I disappeared, I needed some time to think. Now, that gun being under the ring was ridiculous, but way more crazy shit has happened here, and really that same thing could have happened anywhere, as many people that are working on this show, anyone could have put that gun there, and it could have happened anywhere. So I stopped feeling sorry for myself, remembered I had two titles and millions of fans who counted on me to be there champion, so here I am, where I belong."

Lex Lexington: "Well, the big news around the arena is your father just signed with ULOL as your manager, how do you feel about that?"

Raven Connoly: "I heard, yes I did go to my father for guidance, and yes he, like any father would, over reacted and now feels my safety is at risk, and he needs to be here to make sure nothing happens."

Lex Lexington: "You don't seem overly thrilled about it."

Raven Connoly: "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture, but I can take care of myself, and he knows that, every once in a while he has to go into super dad mode. I'm not too worried about it, the whole manager thing will last two weeks tops."

Lex Lexington: "Why do you say that?"


Raven Connoly: "Well, first of all he will remember that he trained me and I can take care of myself. Secondly, I know my Dad, and he can't be this close to the ring with out getting back in. Trust me, he'll be back in that ring in no time."

Lex Lexington: "So is there going to be a Connoly & Connoly tag team in the future?"

Raven Connoly: "No chance in hell, I know what the ring does to my Father, and I want no part of that, we will be in the same federation, but I don't see us crossing paths."

Lex Lexington: "Well, I guess the last question is what are your thoughts about your title match tonight."


Raven Connoly: "I'm up against Nao Fook Mi, she's a great competitor, we have had some great matches, and tonight will be no different. She is focused and determined to win this title back, and I'm just as focused and determined to keep it. I know Nao wasn't to happy at the prospect at me now showing tonight, I think Nao knows me better than that though. Tonight's match is going to be one hell of a match, that's all I know. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to finish my workout."

Lex Lexington: "Oh yeah, oh course, good luck tonight."

Raven goes back to work on the heavy bag as Lex walks out of the locker room.






VS

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen! The following contest is for one fall, and is for the Campeón No Masculino!"

Everyone cheers over the title match announcement, as Oriental music starts to play.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing first the challenger! She is one half of the reigning Campeónes Compañero! She is Nao Fook Mi!"

Suddenly out staggers a fat panda, bloodied and beaten. Nao Fook Mi leaps out, with a flying anorexic ostrich kick that sends the panda tumbling off the stage.

Brad Blood: "This title match is brought to you by Kung Fu Panda 2!"

Nao Fook Mi is wearing her Campeónes Compañero championship belt, which seems to be the only thing keeping her short cheongsam from falling off. She quickly makes her way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. She bows and gives her respect to the crowd before heading to her corner.

Jim Jackson: "Nao Fook Mi once worked as a tourist guide, before going into a career as a sports entertainer. And now she has gold to her name. Quite an accomplishment for her!"

Brad Blood: "And she's determined to win more gold, Jim. Despite all the setbacks she's had, Nao Fook Mi's stayed hungry and ambitious. She sees Raven Connoly walking around with two ULOL titles, and is driven to make the same mark here in this company."

Jasmine Lee: "Her opponent! She is the reigning Campeón No Masculino and Correa Grande del Oro de Raven Connoly! She is Raven Connoly!"

"Warriors Code" By The Dropkick Murphy's starts to play throughout the arena. Raven runs out onto the stage, wearing her two championship belts around her waist. She throws her fist in the air and screams as a heavy barrage of fireworks go off behind her.

Brad Blood: "Tonight, Nao Fook Mi has a shot at holding two titles. But she's gonna have to take one off this lady."

Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly carries the proud lineage of her wrestling family, taking up where her father left off."

Brad Blood: "Yeah. She had a lot to live up to, being the daughter of Connoly, a man who was supposed to be so awesome, his own parents didn't think any birthname would do justice. Either that, or they couldn't get the priest to sign off on Filthyrich Wellhung as a name."

Jim Jackson: "Actually, he's got a first name..."

Brad Blood: "I also heard Raven's grandparents were both blind, deaf and mute, and so didn't give her dad a first name."

Jim Jackson: "I'm...sure Raven will be more than happy to help fill you in, Brad."

Jasmine Lee: "Your official in charge is Sully S. Calawag. And now...LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Connoly sidesteps as Nao Fook Mi bursts out of her corner with a swift running kick! She grabs Nao Fook Mi for a headlock takedown! But the challenger rolls loose! Nao Fook Mi with a couple of hard chops to Raven!"

Brad Blood: "She tries sending Raven to the ropes, but gets reversed..."



Jim Jackson: "...helping Raven Connoly and Nao Fook Mi return backstage to be rebooted. Looks like Raven gets to hold on to her title for another night. And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors."




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The scene started with Taufik walking past to the General Manager's Office where Bob the intern is standing outside of the room. Taufik tries to enter the room but Bob stops Taufik from entering.

Bob Bobbie: "Mr.Taufik, you are not permitted to be in the office of Mr. Allister King."

Taufik then grab the throat of Bob Bobbie and slams him to the wall then proceed to lift him up.

Taufik: "Listen cocksucker, you better don't get into my business or I shall make sure you go back to the bitch that you called "mom". Oh wait a minute, you are living still living with her. So BACK OFF VIRGIN OR YOU'LL DIE A VIRGIN!"

Taufik then throws Bob to the side as he entered the GM office. Taufik then closes the door and sit on the sofa and waits for Allister King to come in.


Allister King can be heard outside the door.

Bob Bobbie: "Mr. King, You don't want to go in there."

Allister King: "Move it."

Bob Bobbie: "But Mr. King, with all due respect."

Allister King: "Fuck off you ballbag looking piece of shite. I will do what I want."

Allister opens the door and sits at his desk. He puts his feet up on the desk, lights a cigarette before noticing that Taufik is sitting in the room.

Allister King: "*Sigh* What ya want?"


Taufik: "Remember Manolo Ferrer? That old bastard who is now in the hospital thanks to what me and Jim did last week to the "Age Of Fools"? Before he is where he belongs now, he was requesting on my behalf for a fucking title shot for the Ultimo Primo title and I'm here to receive it. I deserve that fucking title and not the SCUMBAG MOTHAFUCKER WHO LOSE TO A FUCKING MIDGET SHOGUN!!! Have you ever seen me lose to that "runt" Little Wang? I have worked my ASS OFF for those "jokes" that to help them retain and become the longest reigning ULOL Campeónes Compañero so far in this motherfucking company. So I am not gonna ask right now... I'M DEMANDING A TITLE SHOT..."

Taufik then waits for the answer for Allister King to reply.


Allister sighs once more

Allister King: "It's not who beat you but who you have beaten. And besides no one ever listens to me. I already said you were getting a title shot so not only did you waste my time by coming here but you wasted your own damn time by thinking you are some mad cunt demanding things that you yourself don't pay attention to. Shogun is getting a title shot as well. A triple threat for the title at the PPV. You know what? Since you are being a complete dick about it. The winner of the Callahan/Bakla match is also getting into the match making it a four way. If you are as great as you say 3 people should make no difference in the outcome. Now please get the hell out."


Taufik look pleased and left without a word as he kicked the door down and it hit Bob square to the face as the scene fades to black.





Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and addresses the crowd.

Boy Bakla: "Hello people!"

A loud "HELLO!" echoes back from the crowd.

Boy Bakla: "I have two agendas tonight so that's why I'm out here. One concerns my match later... Yes, tonight I get to kick Shadow Callahan's tooshie in the ring. It may be a cute tooshie but still I'll be kicking it or at least spank it around!"

A soft chuckle emanates from the crowd.

Boy Bakla: "And after I get my fill of Shadow's cute toosh and get my Primo Ultimo title shot, I shall then go after Shogun and Taufik! I shall punish Shogun for teaming up with Shadow Callahan who mercilessly murdered my beloved Scott Logan and I shall punish Taufik who attacked and injured my sexy chocolate man Manolo Ferrer."

Boy Bakla pauses to choke in a sob.

Boy Bakla: "All in all this will coincide with my goal to be the NEW ULOL Primo Ultimo by the end of the PPV!"

Bakla raises it's mic as the crowd cheers loudly.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 06/12/2011   Sun Jun 12, 2011 10:27 am



The scene started with Taufik in a dark and gloomy atmosphere the the camera shows that Taufik carrying a gasoline tank to a familiar looking cage. Taufik then put down the gasoline tank as Taufik looked at the caged and started talking.

Taufik: "This is where it all began, the Taufik that you know now. I would like to thank all of the MOTHAFUCKER THAT BEEN BULLYING THE FUCK OUT OF ME!!! As this is the place where the creation of "this Monster" started."

Taufik kicked and punches the cage a few times before continuing to speak.

Taufik: "The Taufik that was once stood this earth was a nerd , a GEEK!!! That people tend to get picked on and get bullied by others. I was THE LAUGHING STOCK of the whole fucking school THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME!!! Till one day, A Fucker who I thought was a “friend” challenged me to a sparring competition as I was the easiest amongst the rest. I had seen the look of their face of disbelief when I dropped this “friend” of mine twice in a row till they have to intervene in the sparring competition. That Fucker won’t stop hitting me when I got down and ran away with his bitch and his cronies when the police that was patrolling in area on their siren and left me to be. Oh by that day on, I started to change myself and I got to thank this fucking cage and the fucker that I “sparred” with. This cage is the symbol of the “geek” Taufik as this is where it “died”. ”

Taufik then pours out the gasoline gas all around the cage until it is empty. Taufik then use the lighter and light it up and continue to talk.

Taufik: “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is where the old Taufik lies and die and also the place where the new Taufik is born… I will make sure that this Taufik will stay after so long. It got hidden in this world due to wrestling but now "This Creature" is going to unleashed hell on ULOL as GoodFella and Felix, watch out because you will never know what might hit ya… ”

Taufik then throw the lighter to the gasoline and the cage started burning as Taufik gave a sadistic laughter and the cameramen turned to the burning cage as the scene fades to black.






The video starts in the infirmary. The head doctor's face is in the center of the shot, while Musashi can be seen sleeping in a bed behind him. The doctor's face is red and covered in sweat, and he's breathing heavily.

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "No, you can't come in and talk to him. I only just got him in that bed. I had to tranquilize him, you know, and then he fought me all the way there! Now you just expect me to wake him up again so you can make a video of him recovering? No! Go away!"

Cameraman: "But thou must!"

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "That may work in video games, but it won't convince me. Get out of here!"

Cameraman: "But thou must!"

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "No! And a thousand times more, no! Leave! Now!"

Cameraman: "But thou must!"

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "GET OUT! NOW! Before he-oh, now you've gone and made me wake him up. Fine, make your video."

In the background, Musashi can be seen stirring and finally sitting up, stifling a yawn. The cameraman pushes past the doctor and approaches him. Musashi holds up a hand, as if to stop the cameraman from speaking.

Musashi Kuruma: "Just give me a minute, still feeling woozy."

Musashi shakes his head and clears his throat, then begins to speak.

Musashi Kuruma: "You know, getting shot hurts a lot. I've been hit by many things, but a bullet is a new one for me. However, the pain of that piece of lead eating its way into the flesh of my leg can't compare to the embarrassment of a victory like the one that granted me the Correa title. No wrestler deserves to lose a title to an accidental qualification. At least, I hope it was accidental. If it wasn't, I have a few choice words to say to Connoly."

Musashi tries to stand up, then winces and sits back down on the bed.

Musashi Kuruma: "Must be this drug, weakening my resolve and dousing my fighting spirit. Anyway, I will give up the title if Raven Connoly will agree to have a rematch with me for it. If I truly deserve that belt, then I will win it with my own hands, not because my opponent shot me and lost by default. Professionals have standards, you know."

Musashi lays back down, and soon is snoring loud enough to wake the dead. The video ends.






A videoclip begins to play. For some reason there is no sound, but that is probably not needed to show what is happening.

It seems to be a show taking place. A bunch of young children are onstage, wearing their prettiest clothes. They point upwards, as something is lowered down on a rope from above.

A woman dressed up like a sunflower walks to the long sack being lowered down. It's a very colorful sack, with pictures of lollipops and candy all over it.

Only when the bottom of the sack begins to move is it made clear that the bushy bottom of the sack is Marcus Troy's head. Spit flies from his mouth as he screams at the people around him.

The sunflower lady continues to talk to the children in a happy way. Several children raise their hands, as if wanting to answer a question, or be chosen for something. The sunflower lady picks several children, then grandly gestures to the sack that holds Marcus Troy.

The young children get closer to Troy. One of the kids wears a mask of none other than the hero of his homeland. The mask is of none other than the iconic icon of the wrestling ring...

Marcus Troy shouts at the child wearing the mask, clearly saying the name of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

He struggles with whatever might he can muster, as the kids happily whack him with their wiffle bats. Their strikes are quick and true, but it seems they have been instructed to only hit Troy's body, not his head.

The sunflower lady calls to the kids after several moments of them hammering at Troy. Another batch eagerly approaches the man so hated by them and their whole people.

Troy briefly manages to say something, before the fresh batch of wifflers hack away at him.

A sudden tear, and something spills out from the sack holding Marcus Troy. A few of the children quickly scamper to pick up the fallen chocolate coins, lollipops and other sweets dribbling out of the sack.

The rest of the children hastily put more effort into whacking Marcus Troy some more. It isn't long before another stream of candy flows out of him.


Marcus Troy: "--ope you fuckers choke on your candy! I want my mommy!"

The sudden presence of sound is punctuated by a loud thud, as Marcus Troy is unceremoniously dropped to the floor. He is out cold as the sack is raised back up.

The sunflower lady says something, and a third round of happy children eagerly surround the candy sack.

As the camera pans back, it catches the hero who brought Marcus Troy to his homeland to face justice. He stands at the edge of the stage, the masked man known as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. He too has a wiffle bat.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "[Remember, young children! Later we will show you how to deliver righteous sodomy to that Unfriend in that lovely candy sack!]"




VS

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Boy Bakla!"

Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to it's corner waiting for the match to begin.

Jasmine Lee: "And now, introducing its opponent for the evening, Shadow Callahan!"

Hurt's Rapture begins to blast through the PA system. A blinding light and smoke covers the entrance. Shadow Callahan makes his way out wearing a white expressionless mask and carrying the harbinger. He looks up to the skies and raises his arms as 2 flaming crucifixes appear. He walks down to the ring with his head down. He enters the ring, stands motionless in the centre of the ring with one hand covering the mask. He takes the mask off and lets out a primal scream. He looks around him before walking over to the corner.

Brad Blood: "Wohoo! We get to watch the fruitcake be beaten to a bloody pulp tonight! It's like Christmas came early!"

Jim Jackson: "Don't get too excited Brad. Who knows, Bakla might win this one."

Brad Blood: "That would be a cold day in Hell, Jim."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this contest is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "As the bell rings to start this match, Callahan immediently grabs Bakla and tosses Bakla into the corner."


Brad Blood: "Callahan's pelting Bakla's face with punch after punch! The ref is starting to count? Oh come on! Callahan is just tenderizing the fruit! Callahan backs off to argue with the referee."

Jim Jackson: "Callahan's arguing is giving Bakla time to recover from its momentary stunning. Bakla charges out of the corner and hits Callahan with a running forearm! As Callahan gets up he is met with a dropkick! And there's a second dropkick! Callahan is scrambling out of the ring, but Bakla is in hot pursuit."

Don Q. Hotte: "One!"

Brad Blood: "Bakla charges with a full head of steam at Callahan, but Callahan takes Bakla down with a huge clothesline! Pushing Bakla against the steel steps, Callahan begins stomping him over and over and over again."

Don Q. Hotte: "Two! Three! Four!"

Jim Jackson: "Callahan lifts Bakla onto his shoulders, only for Bakla to slide down and dropkick him into the steel steps! Did you hear that THUD?!"

Don Q. Hotte: "Five!"

Brad Blood: "Bakla slides into the ring and looks to rest while Callahan is still down on the outside."

Don Q. Hotte: "Six!"

Jim Jackson: "You know, I think Callahan hit those steel steps at an odd angle and got knocked out...."

Brad Blood: "He better not have, it would be an embarrassment for him to lose to this weirdo."

Don Q. Hotte: "Seven!"

Jim Jackson: "Callahan is starting to move. I think he's trying to regain his bearings."

Brad Blood: "Bakla should work at the cirus, he'd fit right in with the bearded lady!"

Don Q. Hotte: "Eight!"

Jim Jackson: "Callahan has definitely realized what has happened so far in this match and looks to be pretty pissed off about it."

Brad Blood: "I don't notice any difference of mood....are you sure he isn't always like that?"

Don Q. Hotte: "Nine!"

Jim Jackson: "Shadow Callahan slides back into the ring and catches a charging Bakla with a big boot! Irish whip from Callahan sends Bakla into the ropes....big back body drop from Callahan!"

Brad Blood: "It's about time someone hit that move....usually you just see them getting kicked in the face."

Jim Jackson: "Rude Awakening from Callahan! There's the cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Bakla managed a kick out at two. Callahan takes a short run before dropping the leg, but nobody's home! Bakla managed to roll out of the way!"

Jim Jackson: "Bakla hits the low dropkick before following up with the elbow drop! Bakla goes for the cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "And Callahan manages to kick out at two. DDT from Bakla! Bakla goes for another cover."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Again Callahan manages to kick out at two. Bakla irish whips Callahan into the ropes. As Callahan comes back, Bakla leaps into the air and hits Callahan with its buttocks! Bakla again goes for the cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "And again, Callahan kicks out. Callahan throws a hard right hand into Bakla's skull before tossing Bakla with the T-bone suplex!"

Jim Jackson: "As Bakla gets up, it walks right into a clothesline! Bodyslam from Callahan! Callahan goes for the pin attempt!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Boy Bakla just barely manages to stay alive in this match. Bakla kicks Callahan in the knee before crawling away towards the corner. Callahan is quick to follow, but gets pulled into a small package!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Jim Jackson: "Bakla was close to upsetting Callahan with that attempt! As Callahan comes after Bakla, Bakla jumps and wraps his arms and legs around Callahan with a flying hug! Oh no! Bakla is kissing Callahan, the lip-lock is locked in! Callahan can't breathe!"

Brad Blood: "Callahan is trying to push Bakla off of him, but Bakla's hanging on tight! Callahan falls to his knees as he borders on passing out!"

Jim Jackson: "Callahan falls on top of Bakla, but Bakla is able to turn slightly and keep a shoulder off of the mat! The referee is checking on Callahan. He lifts the arm...it drops. He lifts the arm a second time...it drops. He lifts the arm a third time...and it drops! Callahan is out!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the match via submission, Boy Bakla!"

Brad Blood: "I think that's the first time I have ever seen someone get beaten by a kiss....that's really embarrassing..."

Jim Jackson: "As Bakla begins celebrating, Shogun slides into the ring and hits Bakla from behind before stomping on Bakla!"

Brad Blood: "That's what it gets, the fruitcake should never have returned to the ULOL. And now Callahan is getting in on the action! They are both stomping Bakla into the mat!"

Jim Jackson: "But wait! Here comes Allister with a beer bottle! He breaks it over Callahan's head, causing Shogun to flee from the ring! Allister checks on Bakla as Shogun pulls an unconscious Callahan out of the ring."

Brad Blood: "We haven't seen the last of these two teams, that's for sure. I don't any number of matches will settle the issues these wrestlers have with each other."





THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!

The earth reverberated and shook as the monstrosity known as The Morbidly Obese Man squeezed himself out of the now visibly cracked entrance tunnel. There is no entrance music and no video playing on the Titan Tron. Just one massive form that looks bigger than an elephant. The crowd stares in stunned silence, not knowing what to make of the super-sized behemoth making his way down the entrance ramp as the floors creak with every step. As The Morbidly Obese Man reaches the ring he climbs up the steel steps the crowd wonders how this "thing" can enter the ring. But lo and behold in a feat of utter incredibility and great fat flexing ability, The Morbidly Obese Man somehow squeezed through the ring ropes and enters the ring which sighs heavily under his weight.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Tonight I shall get my shot at ULOL's most prestigious title... That's right, the Primo Ultimo! Currently it's my tag partner "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson who holds the title. So I am out here to apologize to him in advance for after tonight, IT WILL BE I WHO HOLDS THE PRIMO ULTIMO! So Johnson, I am sorry that I'll beat your butt tonight in our match, no hard feelings."

The big man begins to chuckle...

The Morbidly Obese Man: "I bet the question in everyone's mind is the same, what will happen to Morbidly Unstoppable after this match? Isn't this the formula where a tag team breaks up? If Johnson and I were any ordinary tag team, maybe that would happen. If we let petty jealousy affect us, maybe it will occur... BUT!!! We are no ordinary tag team... We never were friends, just allies of convenience and even after I win that title off of him, it will still be convenient to keep our team together."

The big man pauses for a while before continuing.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "So to all you watching tonight, be prepared to see a new Primo Ultimo champion and to "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson... Your defeat tonight will be unstoppable! Sorry pardner!"

The Morbidly Obese Man drops the mic and exits the ring.

THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 06/12/2011   Sun Jun 12, 2011 10:28 am



Scene fades in to the backstage interview area. ULOL's resident interviewer, Lex Lexington stands in view of the camera. He begins another segment.

Lex Lexington: "Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time is none other than the current Primo Ultimo Champion. 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson."

Cheers can faintly be heard from the arena. Feminine wolf whistles at heard as the new Primo Ultimo Champion steps into view. He is wearing his wrestling gear and his brand new platinum coated championship belt rests on his shoulder. He nods at Lex.

Lex Lexington: "I do believe that this is our first interview session Mr. Johnson. Glad to have you aboard."

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Likewise Lex, I don't really like doing interviews anymore. Never seem to have the time for them since Stephanie- I mean Stephen showed his true colours. But please continue."

Lex Lexington: "Uhh ok. Well Mr Johnson you became our new Primo Ultimo champion back at the Conjones Grande Pay-Per-View. But some say that you don't deserve the title because if Q didn't run over Zombie then things could have worked out differently. What's your thoughts on this?"

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Before the match began I made it clear that I'd accept no help whatsoever. I didn't need help to defeat Zombie. It's his own fault for making so many enemies. I'd like to see those people. who say I'm undeserving, get inside the ring and take this title away from me."

A stern look appears on the face of UJJ.

Lex Lexington: "What about the situation between our GM, The Anarchists and Boy Bakla? They all seem very eager to get a shot at the Primo Ultimo title."

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I didn't exactly watch the segment unfold because I was celebrating, but from what I've heard, it's typical ULOL. Whine about a title and you are instantly the number one contender for it. Makes me sick. But if I had to choose an opponent out those 4 then I'd choose Shogun. I still have a bone to pick with him due to his actions when Conway was champ. I'd love to squash that arrogant grin off his face."

UJJ makes a squashing gesture with his hands.

Lex Lexington: "Finally Mr. Johnson, your match against The Morbidly Obese Man. Most people predict that this match will break apart Morbidly Unstoppable. That both of your desires to be the Primo Ultimo Champion will overwhelm you both."

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "See that's where you are wrong. If Lard Ass and I were to split then we would have done it months ago. We are the premier tag team in ULOL and that's how it's going to stay. Even after I whoop his ass in the ring later on."

Lex Lexington: "Thank you Mr. Johnson."

UJJ shake Lex's hand and leaves as the scene fades to black.






A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals hits the speakers. After a moment fire spouts from the entrance ramp and "The Demonic God" Shogun can be seen walking through. The familiar emotionless expression can be seen glued to the mans face as he makes his slow decent down the ramp towards the ring to the fans dismay. Soon Shogun enters the ring and takes a mic from an awaiting ring hand where where he now begins to speak.

Shogun: "So it is just as I predicted. The Demonic God in a match for the Primo Ultimo once again! You all doubted me. Everyone thought my title reign was a simple fluke I`m sure."

Shogun: "I doubt any of you idiots will be able to say that when I decimate the opposition and defeat Jack off once and for all!"

Shogun: "My victory will be swift and merciless. Jack Johnson you never won that belt to begin with. You win was the definition of a fluke! I will prove to you just what it takes to be a real champion when I destroy you and anyone else who happens to be fool enough to step into my ring with me!"

Shogun: "My time has come once again...Good luck Johnson..and keep my belt warm for me."

Shogun drop the mic and exits the ring.






VS

Jim Jackson: "And now we have the main event of the evening! It's a battle for the ULOL Primo Ultimo between The Morbidly Obese Man and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson."

Brad Blood: "Both wrestlers mentioned earlier that they won't let this match affect their tag team status... I highly doubt it though..."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the main event of the evening, it is a singles match scheduled for one fall and is for the ULOL Primo Ultimo! Introducing first the challenger, The Morbidly Obese Man!"

THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!

The earth reverberated and shook as the monstrosity known as The Morbidly Obese Man squeezed himself out of the now visibly cracked entrance tunnel. There is no entrance music and no video playing on the Titan Tron. Just one massive form that looks bigger than an elephant. The crowd stares in stunned silence, not knowing what to make of the super-sized behemoth making his way down the entrance ramp as the floors creak with every step. As The Morbidly Obese Man reaches the ring he climbs up the steel steps the crowd wonders how this "thing" can enter the ring. But lo and behold in a feat of utter incredibility and great fat flexing ability, The Morbidly Obese Man somehow squeezed through the ring ropes and enters the ring which sighs heavily under his weight.

Jim Jackson: "Considered as a major force here in ULOL who hasn't won the Primo Ultimo, this may be The Morbidly Obese Man's chance to take the gold."

Brad Blood: "Crap, did he gain more weight again? He may die of a coronary first before winning the title."

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for the evening, he is the current and reigning ULOL Primo Ultimo, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson!"

Tinie Tempah's "Simply Unstoppable" (Yes Rock Remix) blasts over the arena as "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson enters the stage through a spark shower. He makes his way to the ring. He enters the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, scouting the entire arena.

Jim Jackson: "Here comes the champ, after his grueling battle with Zombie which left a path of destruction in the building, he finally won the gold that has eluded him since his debut here in ULOL."

Brad Blood: "Well UJJ will have his hands full tonight against TMOM... In fact even if he had extra hands I doubt it will be enough to take on a man TMOM's size..."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for tonight is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "There's the bell! Both wrestlers waste no time and go at each other at once! The Morbidly Obese Man hits a right hand! A stiff chop lights up "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson! The Morbidly Obese Man with an Irish whip sends "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson to the ropes... He hits a running knee lift!"

Brad Blood: "How can a man TMOM's size move that fast?! It defies the laws of physics! I mean he didn't even give UJJ time to breathe... Another Irish whip sends UJJ to the ropes..."

Jim Jackson: "Back body drop sends "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson flying through the air before crashing down hard on the canvas... The Morbidly Obese Man climbs up to the top ring post..."

Brad Blood: "Oh man, I just heard some nasty creaking as TMOM climbed up the turnbuckles... It's a miracle the ring post is holding... TMOM leaps... SPLASH MISSES!!! Oh man the shockwave from the impact is felt until the last row of the crowd..."

Jim Jackson: "This is "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson's chance to turn the tables... He stomps a few times on The Morbidly Obese Man... He tries to lift him up for a body slam... NO!!! The Morbidly Obese Man is just to heavy! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson hits a DDT instead! The Morbidly Obese Man tries to get up... "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson sends him back to the mat with a facebuster! "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "TMOM kicks out at two! UJJ kicks TMOM a few times before he tries a knee drop... HE MISSES!!! HOW CAN HE MISS SOMEONE FORTY FOOT WIDE?! TMOM gets up... UJJ for the kick... TMOM CATCHES HIS LEG!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Huge standing clothesline takes "Unstoppable" Jack John son down! The Morbidly Obese Man with a leg drop... OH!!! That flattened "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson! The Morbidly Obese Man goes for the cover..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "UJJ gets a shoulder up at two! UJJ somehow fights his way back up to his feet... Irish whip by UJJ sends TMOM to the ropes... He tries a back body drop but TMOM counters it with a kick to the face! UJJ staggers back..."

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man grabs "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson... Big spinebuster by The Morbidly Obese Man! The Morbidly Obese Man quickly hooks the leg!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "The champ hangs in there! TMOM picks UJJ up and gets him in a bear hug! UJJ is getting the air squeezed out of him... UJJ wrenches his arms free... Double ear slap on TMOM and TMOM loosens his grip enough for UJJ to get more leverage!"

Jim Jackson: "Headbutt by "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson... And another! And another! The Morbidly Obese Man's grip falters and the champ gets free! Arm wringer by the champ on the challenger... The Morbidly Obese Man counters it with an elbow th the side of the head!"

Brad Blood: "Shoulder tackle by TMOM takes UJJ down! Irish whip sends UJJ to the ropes, UJJ holds on to the ropes stopping himself from bouncing back... TMOM charges in... TMOM CRASHES INTO UJJ!!!"

SNAPT!!!

Jim Jackson: "HOLY COW!!! THE ROPES SNAP UNDER THE WEIGHT OF BOTH WRESTLERS BUT MOSTLY UNDER THE WEIGHT OF THE MORBIDLY OBESE MAN AND BOTH MEN TUMBLE TO THE OUTSIDE!!!"

KLANG!!!

Brad Blood: "HOLY CRAP!!! THE MOMENTUM SENDS BOTH MEN CRASHING INTO THE STEEL GUARDRAILS HEAD FIRST!!! BOTH MEN ARE KNOCKED OUT AND BUSTED OPEN!!! The referee has begun the ten count..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven!"

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man gets up first... He know he can't win by count out so he tries and drags the champ back into the ring with him... He tries to climb up to the apron..."

Jack B. Nimble: "Eight! Nine!"

KER-RACK!!!

Brad Blood: "THE RING CRASHES!!! THE WHOLE RING BUCKLED UNDER TMOM'S WEIGHT AND BOTH WRESTLERS TUMBLE BACK TO THE GROUND!!! The referee manages to hold on to the ropes as he finishes his count..."

Jack B. Nimble: "Ten!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the match has been declared a draw due to a double count out! So STILL the ULOL Primo Ultimo champion... "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson!"

Jim Jackson: "A battle that culminated in a draw..."

Brad Blood: "Man, good thing this is the last match of the evening... I mean we now have NO RING!!! TMOM is a hazard!"




Jim Jackson: "Well that was an interesting night..."

Brad Blood: "Interesting was an understatement. We had a four corners match somehow reduced to a singles match, a title match that went buggy, a match that ended with a kiss and a main event that left us with no winner and no ring."

Jim Jackson: "Well at least you this night had a lot of unexpected twists..."

Brad Blood: "Twists?! It's like our writing staff ran out of ideas!"

Jim Jackson: "Stop complaining, we had a show right? Anyway we are out of time so tune in again next week folks, same time same channel and be prepared to expect the unexpected! Good night folks."


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 06/12/2011   

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Lucha Loco 06/12/2011
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