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 Lucha Loco 05/15/2011

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PostSubject: Lucha Loco 05/15/2011   Sun May 15, 2011 10:23 am



Jim Jackson: "Good evening everyone and welcome to another great night of wrestling here in Lucha Loco! Tonight we have a great great card for everyone watching, from tournament matches to battle royales to a four-way match for the ULOL Primo Ultimo title for our main event. I doubt if things will get any hotter than this."

Brad Blood: "I know Jim, I'm so excited I'm producing a non-dairy creamer at this moment!"

Jim Jackson: "Too much info Brad, NO ONE needed to know that... So before my partner produces more of a mess, let's get things rolling... LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"






The scene opens in a dark parking lot. The camera man begins pacing as evidence to the screen being jolted slightly up and down. He stops rather quickly to show Andrew Hunter, wearing his full wrestling attire. Andrew stops abruptly in front of the camera, fixing a sharp gaze on the lens as he prepares to speak.

Andrew Hunter: Well, 'twould appear that I'm getting my chance after all! Yes, I am in the ten man Maximo Ligero Number One Contender Battle Royale.

Andrew pauses for a second, as if not sure what to say.

Andrew Hunter: Despite not having won my last match, I cannot honestly say I lost.

Andrew directs his eyes from the camera to the ceiling as he slowly nods. He brings his stare back down to the camera before he begins speaking again.

Andrew Hunter: That means that I did not 'lose' in my mind, no matter what the record shows. Mainly because the one of the biggest parts in winning a triple threat is luck; being at the right place at the right time. I, sadly, was not. Stank Lord was forced to submit, while unconscious, strangely, when I was outside the ring. Had I had to be eliminated; I believe things would have been different.
Although I would've preferred if it were singles competition, I am glad that I have to be eliminated in order to lose. This way people get to see what I'm really made of, not how many chair shots it take to KO a stinky individual.

Andrew chuckles slightly before turning away, as if set to walk away. Andrew takes a few steps away before the shot fades out.





Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to the center of the ring. Bakla holds up a compact and applies some make-up covering the mild bruising it got last week from the beat-down it and Allister King suffered under the hands of The Anarchists.

Boy Bakla: "Good evening peoples! As you all know last week, my fabulous and beautiful self got beaten down along with Allister King by that sadistic albeit hot looking team who call themselves The Anarchists. It's only by pure luck that I escaped with minor injuries."

Bakla pauses for a while and melodramatically sobs for a few seconds before stopping as a grin appears on it's face.

Boy Bakla: "What The Anarchists don't know is that I LOVE PAIN! That's right, I am a masochist and what they did to me last week was NOTHING! Shadow Callahan and Shogun, it will take much much much... MUCH more for you to keep me down. Now I don't know about Allister King but if you little boys want to play dirty, I'll be glad to roll with you in the mud. So listen up boys... After my match tonight, I shall come after both of you... Be afraid... Be very afraid for Bakla has now gone into stalking mode and this kitty will always catch her prey."

Bakla purrs loudly, winks at the crowd and drops the mic before exiting the ring and strutting it's way to the back.






A soft rapping is heard before the doors to the office of the general manager swings open revealing none other than the vice-general manager Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow. She looks at Allister King accompanied by his wife Samantha Collins, with a curt nod, she enters and seats herself in front of his desk.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Mr. King, I am glad to see that you are still in once piece after that fiasco that occurred last week. It worries me to see that our top authority figure get beaten down in the ring. I implore you to refrain from challenging Mr. Callahan again, losing will make you look like a weak general manager, and if that happens, you will lose control and the respect of the roster. Honestly I could care less to what happens to Boy Bakla but not to you Mr. King, not at this point. That is something we cannot afford."

The feisty grandma continues before Allister can get a word in.

Eunice P. Winslow: "I understand your need to want to take matters to your own hands, Mr. Logan was a valued associate and confidant but there may be other ways to make Mr. Callahan's life more unpleasant here in ULOL. Remember YOU ARE the general manager and YOU CAN book him into ANY match you want, no matter how absurd or dangerous it is."

Mrs. Winslow waits for Allister King to respond.


Allister looks at Sammie before looking at Eunice

Allister King: "Weak? Challenging him would make me look weak? No, challenging him would be me look strong. The roster will have more respect for a General Manager willing to fight for what he believes in rather than having someone else do his dirty work."

Allister stands up

Allister King: "You see I'm Irish. The Biggest Characteristic of our country is that we are a bunch of persistent bastards. We have been fighting the English for around 800 years. Why? Because we are doing what is right, We are fighting to get our homeland back to the way it was before the English came and divided it into 2 countries."

Samantha Collins: "Allister's father and grandfather were members of the Irish Republican Army who fought for the country during the hardest times."

Allister looks at Sammie and nods

Allister King: "That's right, but i refused to join and left the country. But their blood is inside me, and until i die, i won't let up on that bastard, I will make his life a fucking living hell with my own hands. Only the weak refuse to confront their enemies."

Allister lets out a slight chuckle and grins

Allister King: "But I appreciate the reminder of that I can place him in any match no matter the danger. I will have to give that some thought."


A crisp knocking is heard on the door, and a visitor enters before any of the ULOL officials can respond. The Kings and Eunice Winslow all stare at the unannounced arrival of the skilled spitfire of the wrestling ring.

He is none other than Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello, General Manager King! I have come to offer a cheer you up! I only know all too well the black grief you are going through! When it seems weeks go by with no good news that goes your way!"

A few reporters from Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's homeland sneak in after the masked man's arrival. They quickly start taking pictures, as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing continues to talk to Allister King.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "For so many weeks I have had the task of giving to my lustfully loving people the half-eaten remains of their friends and relatives! For many of my people, all they could find of their loved ones were bits of meat and bone that looked like leftovers of some demonic KFC! But I was fighting an Ungeneral Manager and his BFF zombie! You have a few more tools you can use! You should not let yourself be taken down by a second-rate carbon copy and his Carlito!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing offers a gift-wrapped package for Allister.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "This is not much! But I hope this will help ease your mind a bit from the brain-sucking melancholy! You can have some too, Mrs. Winslow!"

One of the reporters steps forward, offering several plates and cutlery to Allister King, his wife and Eunice Winslow.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "This is boxty and colcannon Free Cat! I hear it goes great with a pint! I hope you enjoy! I can get you more if you like!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing bows, then makes his exit. The reporters from his homeland quickly follow after him.


Allister face palms

Allister King: "Where the hell do all those reporters come from? I'm getting the suspicion that he pays them to follow him. Zombies, Gaddifi wearing a mask, Murderers, Terrorists. Seriously we need to clean this place up if dead cat is considered a delicacy."

Samantha Collins: "Well at least it's not his half eaten people."

Allister King: "How do you know that? For all we know cats could be his people or else he could just be some guy completely out of it on LSD."

Allister lights a cigarette

Allister King: "Eunice, you got anything else to say? I have got some thinking to do."

The scene slowly fades to black.




VS

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is heat one of the first round in the Campeon no Masculino tournament! Introducing first, Boy Bakla!"

Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to it's corner waiting for the match to begin.

Jasmine Lee: "And now, introducing Bakla's opponent for the evening, Samantha Collins!"

Soundgarden's Black Rain begins to blast from the PA system as Samantha Collins makes her way out to the entrance ramp. She stands and lights a cigarette before heading down to the ring. She drops the lit cigarette and stomps it out before entering the ring.

Brad Blood: "Oh yeah, it looks like papa's in for a show tonight! I love watching Samantha Collins go to work."

Jim Jackson: "Oh, for a moment there, I thought you were excited to be seeing Bakla."

Brad Blood: "I hate you, Jim."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this contest is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Both of these competitors are circling the ring, waiting for the other to make a move."

Brad Blood: "I don't know about you, but something about Samantha and circles makes little Brad a very happy camper."

Jim Jackson: "Seriously Brad, grow up."

Brad Blood: "I am growing, but not in the way you want me to be, ha!"

Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla finally makes the first move, grabbing Samantha into a headlock! Samantha gives Bakla a few hard shots before slipping out and pulling Bakla's arm into a hammerlock."

Brad Blood: "Bakla frees itself with a hard elbow to the head of Samantha. Bakla grabs Samantha's arm and whips her into the ropes, but Samantha sees the backdrop attempt coming and kicks Bakla right on the nose!"

Jim Jackson: "Collins is quick to follow up with a clothesline, Bakla is down! Collins takes a short run and drops the leg across the throat, what a leg drop! Collins goes for the cover."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Bakla is able to kick out at two. Collins gives Bakla a hard kick to the skull before locking Bakla into a boston crab."

Brad Blood: "Boy Bakla is able to roll out of it though. Samantha tries to hang on to Bakla's legs, but Bakla kicks her backwords into the turnbuckles!"

Jim Jackson: "Samantha hit the turnbuckles awkwordly, she doesn't look to be in good shape after that. Bakla realizes this, and begins repeatedly slamming the back of Samantha's head into the mat before going for the cover!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Thr..."

Jim Jackson: "Samantha manages to make the kick out. Bakla grabs Samantha by the hair and takes her to the nearest turnbuckle."

Brad Blood: "Bakla's slamming Samantha's head into the turnbuckle pad! The crowd's counting each time head meets turnbuckle."

Crowd: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten!"

Jim Jackson: "Bakla DDTs Samantha and dives on top for the cover!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Thr..."

Jim Jackson: "Samantha's refusing to stay down. Bakla lifts her up into a suplex, but Samantha knees Bakla on the head to escape before taking Bakla down with a neckbreaker."

Brad Blood: "Samantha pulls Bakla into a piledriver attempt, but Bakla backdrops her out of it. Bakla's looking for a sleeper, but Samantha counters with a jawbreaker."

Jim Jackson: "Collins whips Bakla to the ropes before catching Bakla with a high drop kick. Backbreaker from Samantha. Samantha lifts Bakla into the air before spiking it onto it's head! There was the brainbuster! Collins for the pin!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Bakla refuses to stay down. Samantha pulls Bakla in to try for another piledriver, but Bakla moves out of it and gives Samantha a hard punch to the jaw."

Jim Jackson: "Bakla hits the bodyslam on Collins, but doesn't go for the cover. Collins uses the rope to get to her feet. Bakla comes charging in, but Samantha pulls the ropes down, causing Bakla to roll right out of the ring!"

Brad Blood: "Collins quickly rolls out after Bakla. She grabs Bakla and slams her face first into the steel steps before the referee begins counting."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "Samantha keeps slamming Bakla's head into the steel steps! She's relentless!"

Sully S. Calawag: "Four! Five! Six!"

Brad Blood: "Samantha finally ceases her attack, only to suplex Bakla onto the concrete flooring! She rolls Bakla back into the ring before going into the cover."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Thr..."

Jim Jackson: "How Bakla managed to kick out, I'll never know. Collins looks a bit frustrated. Irish whip by Collins, Bakla hits the rope... WHAT THE?! SHADOW CALLAHAN JUST JUMPED TO THE RING APRON AND HIT BAKLA WITH A STEEL CHAIR AS BAKLA HITS THE ROPES! I can't believe the ref missed that. Bakla stumbles around, Samantha Collins kicks Bakla in the knee causing Bakla to fall to its knees. She then runs behind Bakla bouncing off the ropes to build speed and violently kicks Bakla in the back of the head! The Erin Go Bragh struck hard! Collins with the cover!"

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, Samantha Collins!"

Jim Jackson: "And Collins with the win! She will advance to round two and face the winner of Nao Fook Mi VS Lady Bianca de Sade. Bakla got screwed out of that one..."

Brad Blood: "What? Over all ready? I was enjoying watching Samantha get all hot and sweaty."

Jim Jackson: "Shadow Callahan jumps into the ring and starts beating down on Bakla! This is insane! Somebody stop this!"

Brad Blood: "WOO! That is a good chair shot! And another... And another! Aww security has come into the ring to pull Shadow away... Killjoys..."

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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/15/2011   Sun May 15, 2011 10:24 am



"Sonne" by Rammstein begins playing over the speakers as the lights dim down. A spotlight shines upon the entrance to the backstage of the ULOL as William LaCroix steps out onto the ramp. He's holding a microphone, which he casually brings to his lips.

William LaCroix: "Well, well, well, it's an interesting little show we have going on here tonight, isn't it? Not really. It's a rather pathetic one in my opinion."

The crowd begins booing LaCroix.

William LaCroix: "Oh, howl if you must you monkeys. A failure of a tag team are getting title shots, while I am not. Women with no skill who no one even slightly cares about are fighting in some ludicrious tournament for a title restricted by gender."

LaCroix shakes his head at the audience.

William LaCroix: "And that's not even the worst of it! There's some 10-man battle royale going on tonight, to determine the number one contender for a title that is restricted by weight! How unfortunate is it that some little runts can't man up, and so have to hide in their own little world fighting men of the same size so that none of them feel too small. Even that hotshot loser, Alexander Conway, is hiding in this little group. I guess the big bad Zombie scarred the bastard back into his kennel."

LaCroix looks over the audience as he lowers the mic. He takes a moment before beginning to speak again.

William LaCroix: "But what was my point? My point, is that real men, like myself, are held down by restrictions. If anybody deserves a title shot, it most certainly isn't Morbidly Unstoppable or Oriental Spices who have been failing miserably in the tag division. It certainly isn't Christopher Bain, who I destroyed on my debut and who hasn't been able to win a match yet except for the one that someone else helped him with. And it certainly isn't Alexander Conway, who was too much of a coward to face Zombie in a match just because he found it to be "unfair". Do you want to know who deserves a title shot? It's me. I'm better than these losers, and I'm willing to prove it at anytime. So, Eunice or Allister, book me against anyone you may choose next week, and I'll steamroll right through them."

LaCroix gives a cocky smile to the booing fans.

William LaCroix: "I'm a Juggernaut that can not be stopped. I am the future of this business, and you can all bank on that."

LaCroix drops the microphone and takes his leave as the scene fades.



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The scene opens backstage where one of ULOL's more over tag teams is seen standing next to Lex Lexington. Lex Lexington looks over at Nao Fook Mi then at Little Wang who is standing on top of a step ladder checking if they are ready before nodding to the camera and beginning the interview.

Lex Lexington: "Good evening everyone, we are here backstage with Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi, collectively known as Oriental Spices. As everyone know, both Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi have been experiencing a streak of rotten luck lately and have been in a drought when it comes to winning. Both of you are booked in different matches tonight, Little Wang in a battle royale and you in a grand prix tournament match Ms. Nao. We all know that you are fan favorites so the question in everyone's mind is, will you both disappoint the fans again tonight?"

Nao Fook Mi takes the mic from Lex and replies.

Nao Fook Mi: "Disappoint the fans? The only reason our fans will be disappointed is if they know that we did not give our all in our matches. Whether we win or lose, we already know the fans won't abandon us if we stay true and fight with all our being. But that doesn't mean that tonight will be the same. Who knows, we may win our matches tonight."

Fook Mi pauses before continuing.

Nao Fook Mi: "Wang and I are fighting an uphill battle. We will not make any excuses for our failures, we will not blame anyone for our losses and we will continue to fight as long as there is still one person cheering for us."

Fook Mi returns the mic to Lex Lexington.


Lex looks at Fook Mi with renewed respect and continues the interview.

Lex Lexington: "Being a tag team consisting of a woman and a dwarf, Oriental Spices can be seen as an underdog, don't you think that concentrating on a singles career may be the best thing for now? I mean both of you are booked not as a team tonight, if you both do find some success tonight wouldn't it be prudent to put Oriental Spices on ice and focus on singles competition?"

This time Little Wang takes the mic from Lex and replies.

Little Wang: "And why can't we do both? I'm sure the fans would like to see us compete not only in the tag division but also in the singles division. Both Fook Mi and I may be the underdogs but isn't rooting for the underdogs more fun? Specially if the underdogs beats all the odds and win?"

Little Wang looks at Fook Mi who nods at him agreeing with what he just said as he hands the mic back to Lex Lexington.

Lex Lexington: "How about last week? Last week you and Fook Mi were attacked by Getter Team and weren't able to compete in the scheduled match. What are your plans regarding them?"

A tinge of anger is seen in the eyes of Little Wang...

Little Wang: "Yes, Getter Team, those two Japanese goons. We haven't forgotten them. Believe me when I say that Oriental Spices shall settle accounts with them... Tonight our goal is to win our respective matches, after that, we'll deal with Getter Team... Now if you'll excuse me Lex, me and Fook Mi need to do some warm ups..."

With that, Little Wang hops off the step ladder and walks away with Nao Fook Mi following close behind after shaking Lex Lexington's hand.

Lex Lexington: "Well there you have it folks, Oriental Spices, underdogs? Maybe, crowd favorites? Definitely!"

Lex Lexington ends the interview as the screen fades to black.






Saga by JAM Project starts playing as footage from an old Japanese anime runs on the Titan Tron. As the saxophone starts up, he walks onto the stage with his hands in his pockets, flames shooting up from the edges of the stage. He uses the fire to light a cigarette, then heads down to the ring at a leisurely pace. When he reaches it, he hops through the ropes onto the mat and casually walks to the opposite corner, putting the cigarette out on the turnbuckle.

Afterward, he produces a mic seemingly from thin air, and begins to speak.


Hayato Tachibana: "Well, it seems that my debut match here at ULOL ended in a draw. Some would say this means I did not win, but I'm an optimistic kind of person, so I prefer to think of it as not losing. Either way, I apologize if my partner and I did not give you an exciting show."

Hayato takes a moment to light another cigarette, then continues speaking.

Hayato Tachibana: "Now, let's get down to business. As I understand it, my eligibility as a wrestler of this federation has been brought into question because of some things I have done in the past. There are some who have called me a former terrorist in a tone I can only call accusatory. True though this may be, the emphasis should, I think, be on the word "former."

Hayato takes a long drag on his cigarette.

Hayato Tachibana: "I have done my time. I was legally released by the penitentiary where I was held with no interference from myself or anyone related to myself. In the eyes of the law, I am rehabilitated. I am an ordinary man, with a clean slate. However, this does not mean I am without guilt. My wish to repent for the lives I have taken or otherwise ruined is genuine, and this is but a small way by which I can do so. Entertaining the masses is not something I am used to, but it is a start on the road to forgiveness."

Hayato drops the cigarette on the mat and stamps on it.

Hayato Tachibana: "However, I will not sit idly by while others mock me behind my back. Members of the DWMA, I assure you that the next time we are in the ring, I will not be so careless. Next time, there will not be a No Contest. No matter which of us wins, I will leave you with a beating to remember me by. And maybe, just maybe, if you get the idea in your head to try and soil my reputation again, you will be deterred by that memory."

At first, the crowd is silent. However, being the crazed fans they are, they quickly begin to cheer, chanting Hayato's name. It would seem he's won most of them over, but how long can he keep that up?

Hayato allows himself a small smirk.


Deep Red by JAM Project starts playing as footage from an old Japanese anime runs on the Titan Tron. The arena is dark, and lasers right out of a techno concert sweep the arena. When the main riff starts, the lasers disappear, the lights turn back on, and Ryoma can be seen standing atop the Titan Tron, arms crossed over his chest and scarf blowing in a convenient breeze. When the lyrics begin, he leaps off and lands on the ramp in a kneeling position, one fist against the floor, fireworks erupting from the stage behind him at the same time. Almost immediately after, he takes off, sprinting toward the ring and jumping over the ropes. He walks over to Hayato, takes his mic, and begins speaking.

Ryoma Ichimonji: "There you go again, Hayato, talkin' shit I don't understand. We had a draw last time, simple as that. So don't give the crowd any of that 'not winning, not losing' bullshit. What they really want is to see you make good on your promise. They wanna see blood! They wanna see bone-crunching action! They want their minds to be blown right the hell out of their skulls! ISN'T THAT RIGHT!?"

This last was directed at the crowd, who go completely nuts. Ryoma waits for them to quiet down, then continues.

Ryoma Ichimonji: "Ex-terrorist? Who cares? If you gotta break some faces, then break some faces! Don't go pussyfooting around with your explanations and justifications. Just get out there and beat them until they can't feel their brains! But make sure to leave some for me, Hayato. You have a score to settle with the DWMA, I have a score to settle with the DWMA. We can't let it end with a No Contest, and I sure as hell ain't gonna let it end with them holding some stupid title or whatever!"

Ryoma steps close enough to Hayato that they're practically sharing the mic.

Ryoma Ichimonji: "Tell me, Hayato. Are you a man? Or are you GETTER FUCKING TWO!?"


Hayato pushes Ryoma away from him, gagging at the smell of his breath. Once again, he apparently summons a mic out of thin air.

Hayato Tachibana: "That's all very nice, Ryoma. You're very hyped for the next match, aren't you? However, I must ask you to tone down the cursing. It only serves to make you seem less intelligent than you are. Of course, that's assuming you have any intelligence to begin with."

Hayato interrupts Ryoma before he can say anything in response.

Hayato Tachibana: "I know, I know, you won't stand for comments like that. No need to remind us all. Now, to answer your last question, I'm going to need a moment to think.

Hayato strokes his chin for a moment.

Hayato Tachibana: "As much as I hate to say it, we are partners. I am, as you say, Getter Fucking Two.






Scene fades into a locker room. An empty locker room with the door wide open. After a few moments, a young woman walks in. It's Lady Bianca de Sade. She is in her ring attire with a bottle of water in hand. She looks better than she has in recent weeks. Then suddenly the bottle drops out of her hand as someone wraps their arms around her. Lady B gasps as a strong cockney accent speaks.

Voice: "Oi Oi sweetheart, how's about you and me go out for the night eh? After our matches we go down to your place eh?"

Lady B chuckles as she looks up to see her boyfriend The British Hawk. She reaches up to kiss him. TBH meets her halfway. TBH let's her go as he sits down on the bench.

The British Hawk: "This is babe. Tonight we both become number one contenders. You become the number one contender for the Campeno No Masculino and I become the number one contender for the Ligero Maximo Championship."

Lady B looks nervously down at the floor.

Lady Bianca de Sade: "Yeah well it's ok for you. But what about me? I haven't won a single match yet in ULOL. I feel kinda nervous."

TBH pulls Lady B towards him and places her on his knee.

The British Hawk: "Hey listen, we all feel nervous before matches. I used to feel the same way babe. But believe me when I say that you WILL win tonight. You have the skills and the passion to win. I believe that you will win. And so do the fans. But remember, Nao Fook Mi has been on a losing streak aswell. So it's an even match. Just do what you do what you do best. Try. You'll do fine."

TBH kisses Lady B emphatically and he leaves the room leaving Lady B smiling as the scene fades.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/15/2011   Sun May 15, 2011 10:25 am

VS

Jim Jackson: "This is the second match for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino grand prix tournament. Lady Bianca de Sade will be facing Nao Fook Mi."

Brad Blood: "Honestly, I would like to root for Fook Mi on this one but we all know she's like one-half of ULOL's Oriental Jobbers."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the second heat of round one of the ULOL Campeón No Masculino Grand Prix Tournament! Introducing first Lady Bianca de Sade."

"Rebirthing" by Skillet blasts over the arena as Lady Bianca de Sade comes out from the entrance tunnel. She walks down to the ring with The British Hawk following behind her. She waves to the fans as she enters the ring.

Jasmine Lee: "And her opponent for the evening, she's one-half of the Oriental Spices, Nao Fook Mi!"

Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. She quickly makes her way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. She bows and gives her respect to the crowd before heading to her corner.

Jim Jackson: "Rumors are that the returning superstar, The British Hawk who is also romantically involved with her trained her specially for this match. We may be seeing a new Lady B tonight."

Brad Blood: "She don't need training, she's going against Nao Fook Mi, the jobber of ULOL! She will win this even if she doesn't train."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for tonight is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "There's the bell! Both wrestlers engage each other... Nao Fook Mi gets hip tossed by Lady B. Fook Mi gets up and here comes Lady B with a huge right!"

Brad Blood: "Fook Mi ducks a wild right hand! Lady B spins out of control due to the momentum of her punch... That disoriented her big time!"

Jim Jackson: "Irish whip by Fook Mi sends Lady B to the ropes... huge back body drop sends Lady B to the air! Fook Mi crushes Lady B with a big legdrop. Tiger suplex on Lady B."

Brad Blood: "Nao Fook Mi goes high risk... Senton splash... MISSES!!! Lady B rolls out of the way at the last second! Lady B looking to capitalize on Fook Mi's bad landing..."

Jim Jackson: "She locks Fook Mi up in a STF!!! Fook Mi tries to reach for the ropes... It's to far away... Fook Mi is switching to a different tactic and now tries to wriggle out of Lady B's grasp... FOOK MI SLIPS FREE AND COUNTERS!!! Nao Fook Mi slips behind her opponent and locks her forearms over her opponent's neck and nape choking her opponent to unconsciousness executing a devastating Fook Mi to Sleep!!!"

Brad Blood: "Holy crap! Fook Mi actually locked on her finisher! Lady B is fading! The referee check up on Lady Bianca de Sade... He lifts her arm... It falls down once! He lifts her arm again... Two! The ref lifts the arm a third time... IT'S STILL LIMP! The ref is calling for the bell!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and advancing to the second round of the tournament on the PPV, Nao Fook Mi!"

Jim Jackson: "The crowd goes wild at Fook Mi's win! Could this be? Is the drought really over for Nao Fook Mi?"

Brad Blood: "She just got lucky Jim... I bet you she'll botch it at the PPV against Samantha Collins."






The Masked Man is shown backstage with a mic in hand

The Masked Man: "John "Grey Skull" Johnson, you think my business with you is over? It's far from over and you life is going to go from bad to a living nightmare!"

The Masked Man smiles and leaves the backstage area






'Warriors Code' by Dropkick Murphys hits the arena speakers and the fans jump to her feet. Raven Connoly runs out onto the stage, the ULOL Campeón no Masculino is around her waist, and the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly is draped over her shoulder. Raven unhooks the ULOL Campeón no Masculino from around her waits and holds both belts over her head and lets out her battle cry. Raven then throws both belts over her shoulder and makes her way for the ring. Raven rolls into the ring and climbs up the turnbuckle and holds both belts high above her head again and screams. Raven does a back flip off the turnbuckle and lands in the center of the ring, she throws the belts back over her shoulders and smiles as she waits for the crowd to quite down.

Raven Connoly: "Well tonight's the night of the 10-man battle royale to find the number one contender for the ULOL Ligero Maximo. I have to tell you I'm still a little sore from last weeks steel cage match, but don't let that fool the other 9 contestants in this match. I may be a little beat up but it's still going to take a helluva fight to eliminate me tonight.

The fans begin to cheer again.

Raven Connoly: "You see last week I realized that I have a chance to be a triple champion, its a hell of a road, but as of right now, I have a chance. The first step was retaining the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly last week, which I did despite Taufiks best efforts. Now tonight is step two, winning this battle royale and becoming the number 1 contender for the ULOL Ligero Maximo. Now trust me, that will be no easy task, there are 9 top competitors in this match, and its going to take everything I've got to win, but I'm determined to do it."

Raven Connoly: "Now after I win tonight's match I have one last feat at the Cojones Grande! As we have found out I am already booked in a triangle match for the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly against Taufik and Yuki Monotomo at the PPV. Which means if I win tonight I will also have an iron-man match against Lucian Blackheart for the ULOL Ligero Maximo, that's a rough night to say the least."

Raven Connoly: "Now, I know my chances of winning tonight are slim, its a 10 man battle royal, which means there only a 10% chance I'll walk away the winner. Now if I do walk away tonight the winner, the chances of me winning a triangle match and an iron-man match are practically non existent, I know this, I know my chances for failure are 99.9%, but you know what there is still that .1% chance that I can do it. That .1% chance, and all of you, is the reason I'm going to give it everything I've got, it may kill me, but it's better to give it everything you have and fail, then to just say it's to hard to give up. Plus if there's anyone who can pull this of, it's ULOL's favorite sweetheart!"


Raven throws her fist in the air and screams again before rolling out of the ring. The fans chant 'Raven" as Raven makes her way up the ramp and disappears backstage.






Bain is in the training room, but instead of working his muscles, Bain is sitting on a bench with his head in his hands.

Christopher Bain: "What's the bloody point? No matter how hard I work, something just isn't clicking. Poor performances are not what I am about. The fans deserve better, the GM deserves better, and my opponents deserve better."

Christopher gets to his feet and walks towards a punching bag.

Christopher Bain: "So that's what they'll get, me at my best. There is no point whining about the past; what's done is done, and I can't change it. What I can and will do, however, is change the future. Business, Ladies and Gentlemen, will be picking up."

The scene fades as Bain begins beating the punching bag with hard punches and fast kicks.





Arnold "GoodFella" Bold is knocking on the doors of the office of the Vice General Manager Eunice Winslow.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Mrs. Winslow you're here?"


The Vice General Manager greets Goodfella.

Eunice Winslow: "What brings you to the office today?"


Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Honestly there is a rumor going on in the roster that we are really in need of money. So me and my manager thought that we could offer one business idea. A DVD series featuring DWMA their greatest defeats and for these guys who orders more than one, we could add promo's of DWMA. This is a good thing because we could expand our viewer circle. We could be seen in such a countries as Lithuania, Singapore, Estonia, Latvia...And maybe even Russia. Let me show you example."

He bring in a portable video player and turns him on.

Jim Jackson: "GoodFella ir Schwarz siunčia Leoną Hinomoto į virves naudodami dvigubą airišką metimą. Jie pasiruošia savo galingąjam manevrui taip Vairuok Šaudydamas. Hinomoto guli pąslikas ir nieko negali nieko padaryti."

Jack B. Nimble: "Vienas! Du! Trys!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ponios ir ponai eilinį kartą klaunų komanda buvo įveikta nenugalimųjų GoodFellos ir Švarco."

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "This is but one of the stuff I have already finished doing. Do I need to show another one? Because I have prepared several."


The Vice General Manager stares at what Goodfella is presenting her.

Eunice Winslow: "This...is a DVD. Of the DWMA?"

She goes over the DVD menu.

Eunice Winslow: "This is...about all their losses? Am I correct to say this?"


GoodFella nods as he continues to say what he wants.

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "Well we could add one or two victories. If you really want that. But basically you understood correctly it is DVD of DWMA losses. We need to show the world what team is The DWMA."


The elderly Vice General Manager just gives Goodfella a long, probing look. From the look on her face, it's clear Eunice is not quite sure if Bold is joking.

Eunice Winslow: "This is......a very unusual request you have. Can I have a copy of this.......DVD? I can look it over these next few days."


Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "Well it’s not like a request, but it is an offer for you from me on how to earn money from The DWMA. Sure you can have it. I have a lot of copies."

GoodFella gives the DVD to Eunice. Packs everything that he brought and leaves.


The old woman looks at the DVD she's been given.

Eunice Winslow: "A DVD of nothing but losses? What...is this?"

She drops the sample DVD in a drawer under her desk, ending the scene.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/15/2011   Sun May 15, 2011 10:26 am



The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura and Leon walk slowly to the start of the ramp. Following behind is Yuki Monotomo. All three superstars stop and the lights turn back on after lightning strikes behind them. The lasers continue as Ray and Leon slowly enter the ring. Yuki poses for the fans then runs to the apron. They go to different ring posts and climb them, then strike a pose. Yuki slides in the ring and humps the air in the direction of the female fans. Ray seems to be limping.

Ray Kamaura: "No contest! No contest! I don't know what the ref was thinking when he rule the match a no contest. It was a number one contenders match, for crying out loud."

Ray limps to the other side of the ring. It is apparent that his leg is injured. Brad Blood notes that there is a knee brace and tap on his leg.

Ray Kamaura: :Another thing I would like to address. What happened to the Spices? I mean come on. The DWMA goes out every week and preforms for you fans and we never miss a beat. But all of a sudden we had to face two new superstars? What kind of crap is that. Don't get me wrong they were skilled in the ring. Now I am torn, on one hand they gave us a good fight and they are some more competition, on the other hand they think they can just come to the ULOL and disrespect The DWMA. The nerve of these fools really get me wanting to lay a whoopin' on someone."


Leon puts his hand on Ray's shoulder and whispers to him. Then takes the mic and slowly starts to pace around the ring. Brad Blood also nots that he has extra tape on his elbow.

Leon Hinomoto: "Now Ray let's not get ahead of ourselves. Sure the match ended in a No contest. But that might not be a bad thing. See that just means that the title match will have to be a triangle match."

The fans start to cheer and Leon takes in the moment,

Leon Hinomoto: "Now as it can be seen, Ray and myself have a couple of injuries. But rest assured the doctors have cleared us and we will compete were ever and when ever we want. We are going to become the greatest force in the ULOL and its going to start at the PPV when Ray and I capture some gold as well as when Yuki does the same."


Ray stops Leon short and puts out his hand for the mic. Leon passes it over and Ray starts to speak.

Ray Kamaura: "Okay and the last thing on the agenda tonight is that bastard Taufik."

Ray turns towards the entrance ramp and talks to Taufik, who is backstage.

Ray Kamaura: "Why don't you grow some balls and walk out here and face us like a man. Or you can wait until we have our hands full and take some shots with your Singapore cane. See Taufik unlike you and the rest of the scumbags that are in fact known as the Age of Pain, we like to face our foes like men. So go to Manolo, take your balls back, hand him your Singapore dildo and walk out here like a man."

The crowd cheers for Ray and beans to chant "NO BALLS" A few seconds pass.

Ray Kamaura: :I figured you wouldn't show. So Ill leave you with some final comments. You attacked us when we were down. Now this little feud between our stables just became a free fire zone."

The music starts playing and the DWMA makes there way out of the ring and up the ramp.


The DWMA are interrupted when the giant videowall begins playing a clip.

May 1 Lucha Loco

Ray Kamaura: "But all joking aside, It's still raining. So we will keep fighting until we reach our goal of winning and taking the gold away for the Age of Pain. This is no longer just some feud. No more bashing them while they try and cut a crappy promo. We are going to let our actions speak. So We are issuing an open challenge for any tag team that thinks they can take us on. Hell you don't even have to be a tag team, just two people. It's go time.

May 8 Lucha Loco

The scene opens with Ray Kamaura and Leon Hinomoto standing in front of a TV screen with mics. Ray seems to be holding something behind his back.

Ray Kamaura: "Well, well, well. Here we are and once again The DWMA is in a match trying to win back the number one contendership for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero titles. This will be our third attempt to capture the gold. Third time is the charm."

Ray pauses for a dramatic effect. Then he continues.

Ray Kamaura: "We must beat Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi to earn a shot at the titles. Now they are both very good fighters and I'd even go as far to say that I respect them for standing up to us for the third time. That takes heart. Little Wang, Nao Fook Mi, listen closely. Your time will come to have your chance at glory. But It's our time. After we win the tag team titles, The Oriental Spices will receive a title shot at some point, and I'm sure that you will both give it your all. But I'm sorry that we must beat you tonight."

Leon cuts Ray short and raises the mic to his mouth.

Leon Hinomoto: "Now our message to the Age of Pain. We are going to rain down a force of unimaginable terror. The bell tolls on your last week as the champions. The time comes for the both of you to fall on your knee's before our great power. The DWMA is a juggernaut that cannot be stopped.

Everyone reacts as they watch the replay of the DWMA's own proclamations. The videowall then shows the Age of Pain's manager, Manolo Ferrer, apparently in his stable's locker room. He is poker-faced as he begins to speak.


Manolo Ferrer: "It's clear now that your team's name stands for Douches Who Make Assumptions."

The manager announces this, as if it were a matter of fact.

Manolo Ferrer: "You two have kept crowing about how you're going to beat my clients for the Campeónes Compañero. But when the number one contenders' qualifying match came, you didn't win. You didn't even dominate."

The manager shakes his head slowly, as if disappointed.

Manolo Ferrer: "You two talk a big game. And each time you just show to everyone how wrong you two are. Maybe the drugs you're abusing have finally scrambled your brains. Mr. Kamaura, you actually asked for an open challenge. You wanted the open challenge. And...those two men answered your challenge. And you couldn't handle them."

Manolo Ferrer points to the DWMA for emphasis.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Hinomoto. When you talk about raining unimaginable terror, we can now assume that's your way of saying you and Mr. Kamaura are going to piss yourselves. You two wanted this qualifying match, and the results showed you're unqualified to be my clients' challengers."

The manager of the Age of Pain lets that last statement hang in the air for a moment.

Manolo Ferrer: "You two failed that match on your own. What Mr. Taufik did afterwards...well, if ULOL is a jungle, then Mr. Taufik is the predator cutting down you dodos. And you deserved what he did to you. Maybe you two need a few more hits to the head, if you keep assuming you're going to be challenging my clients for their titles. Especially when you have just proven to everyone that you couldn't even handle a qualifying match."


Yuki Monotomo: "Quick question, If he knows so much, why doesn't he come out here and do this? I mean he talks enough about his clients this and his clients that and bashes us all the time. It seems like he's hiding behind the Age of Pain. Like a puppet master. Or a little kids with his hands inside of a couple socks with poorly glued eyes on. And if Ray were on drugs, he'd yell at me a lot less! We're competitors and in this business it's the wrestlers who do the work, not the managers. So get your hands out of your clients' asses and stop working them like puppets. And who would care if we were on drugs, which we're not, the test results prove it, our GM's a drunk, and we wrestle with a former terrorist! And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Manolo Ferrer, the puppet master!"

The screen cuts in half and on one side the following image is shown.



Fire Flame by Birman starts to sounds and one half of Campeones Companeros GoodFella & Schwarz making their way to the ring accompanied with Taufik... All man enters the ring and asks for a microphones .

Arnold “GoodFella “ Bold: "Did I hear you right? You say you have a shot in three way? Well I say that No contest means you two buffoons get back in the line and wait for shot until we will allow you have one. Because right now you have wasted more than 4 given title shot opportunities."

Now GoodFella turns his attention to Yuki.

Arnold “GoodFella “ Bold: "Hey you refugee, where were you when I was all by myself and challenged Shogun to a match one on one? Well there is a history lesson to you. Alexander Conway now member of Age of Pain was talking same thing like you are now and it ended with a bra and panties match, which he lost. Well that’s enough of an embarrassing history lesson I think."

GoodFella remembers something.

Arnold “GoodFella “ Bold: "Talking about drugs, you sure need to be tested because you always talk nonsense. A clear example is now, when you all talk about shot at tag team titles. Am I right Tau?"


Taufik: "Your damned right Arnold. You guys keep on saying that you are championship material and look what happen. Last week you can't even hold off the two newcomer and even when all three of you... And Yes, I'm talking about you as well Yuki, can't even do a beat down on me. Yuki, I thought I have given you a warning but you didn't get it in your head did you? You even attempted to take me out again after my cage match but you failed again asshole and now were going to have a match for Raven's title at the next Pay-Per-View. You know that you're one lucky son of a bitch... If that Eunice never put that ban, I would have made you my bitch as I will beat the hell outta you."

Taufik then waits for anyone to reply


Mr. Ferrer allows himself a satisfied grin as he listens to what Taufik and Arnold Bold have to say to the DWMA. He decides to add more to his clients' input.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Monotomo, I'm just going by what you submitted in your own character bio. You killed your friend when you were 17, then became a runaway so you wouldn't face the music. You are a fugitive. If the parents of the friend you killed see this show, what are you going to tell them? 'I'm sorry for murdering your boy. Please forgive me and let's be friends again so I can wrestle and be a celebrity? I promise I'll dedicate my career to your dead son, so please don't ask them to send me to jail?' Is that what you plan to tell the parents of the friend you killed, if and when they do show up here, Mr. Monotomo?"

Manolo Ferrer makes an effort to peer at the audience. He points at random parts of the crowd as he continues.

Manolo Ferrer: "Should you fans cheer for what Mr. Monotomo did? He's gotten away with killing his friend. He's been hiding from the law since he was 17. That doesn't give a man many career options. I reckon Mr. Monotomo survived by letting himself become a teen prostitute to dirty old men in small towns and bars all over the place. You can imagine this tall, Asian boy dropping to his knees to satisfy some fat trucker's sushi fantasy in the men's room."

The manager of the Age of Pain points again at Yuki Monotomo, Ray Kamaura and Leon Hinomoto.

Manolo Ferrer: "You Douches Who Make Assumptions want people to cheer and support you. The problem is there is nothing to cheer about. You couldn't even win the number one contenders' match, and now you go 'It doesn't matter that we didn't win. Please make it a three-way title match, and ignore that we were completely outclassed.' I'm sorry, but the only competition you're doing well in is giving Brostar a run for his money."


Yuki looks down. He shakes his head.

Yuk Monotomo: "You're right. About everything. Except the whole trucker thing. I've been working under the table like an illegal immigrant. But I should do something."

Yuki reaches for his mask, but stops and swings his fist down. He brings the microphone back up to his face.

Yuki Monotomo: "I'm staying right here. I can't do anything to fix what I did. If they saw me, I'd be very surprised to see them because I don't believe they'd want to see me. The boy I killed, Ragki Nikara, was my rival. I hated him. He broke my ribs or limbs every time I faced him. I hated him. Maybe I did want to kill him secretly. I owe them nothing. 2 years of serious medical bills and being a dick like you. It was a backyard wrestling match between kids. We wanted to be like the superstars. So we used chairs, canes, sledgehammers, and in Ragki's case, chains. So there. If his parents want to speak with me, so be it. He was a bully who died in a backyard wrestling match. But I also enjoy you not talking about your puppet master status at all! You manipulate people and force them into your stable! That shouldn't be what this is about! I practice like hell for my match. And Taufik, that was cowardly of you to attack my stable mates. Why weren't you a real man and attacked me head on, with equal terms instead of using that cane? I didn't fail! We were all stopped! You can never know what could have happened!"

Yuki lowers the microphone and looks around the arena. He takes a step back to the DWMA.

Yuki Monotomo: "You can't intimidate us! As long as you're hiding and not wrestling, you can't do anything! Taufik and Goodfella have more balls than you because they're actually even in the ring! Not behind a desk! I think guys who wrestle should run the stable. Not a person who could probably have their ass handed to them by their stable mates if they really wanted to! It was a no contest! It could have happened to The Age of Pain if they were held outside the ring as well. That's just dirty fighting. It's like saying 'If I can't have it, no one can'. There should be a winner and a loser in a match. Not a tie."


The manager of the Age of Pain only rolls his eyes after hearing what Yuki Monotomo had to say.

Manolo Ferrer: "You're saying what the Age of Pain have done to you is worse than you killing your friend and hiding from the law all this time? Really? And how long did you 'practice like hell' before you killed him?"

Mr. Ferrer once again speaks to the fans in attendance.

Manolo Ferrer: "These men want you to cheer for them and treat them as your heroes. Because they believe that running in on a match is worse than murdering your friends."


Ray cuts off Yuki before he can say anything.

Ray Kamaura: "Now that is enough of this. Once again Manolo Ferrer cuts in and steals the spot light. Yuki was right. These two came down here like men while you sit behind the desk and use the tron to talk trash to us. Now if you will excuse us we will be leaving."

Ray again begins to walk out of the arena.


A small sneer cross Mr. Ferrer's face.

Manolo Ferrer: "Yes, Mr. Kamaura. Please, show everyone how you are going to overthrow the cowardly Age of Pain, with your very brave action of desperately running away from the truth."


Leon looks up at the rather large tv.

Leon Hinomoto: "We aren't running, just leaving."

The DWMA walks out of the arena


Mr. Ferrer watches Leon Hinomoto leave after Ray Kamaura. As the two men walk up the aisle, the manager of the Age of Pain starts chanting and clapping.

Manolo Ferrer: "NO BALLS! NO BALLS! NO BALLS! NO BALLS!"

It's the same chant the fans shouted earlier in support of the DWMA. Mr. Ferrer looks at the audience, as if asking them to chant with him.


Yuki Monotomo starts to leave as well but first turns and looks at the audience.

Yuki Monotomo: "Hey guys! Mr. Ferrer wants you all to chant for him!"

Yuki turns back around and lightly jogs to catch up with his team mates as they leave.






Alexander Conway is in the Age of Pain's locker room, when Manolo Ferrer arrives. His manager takes a seat beside him.

Manolo Ferrer: "You're going into this battle royale with an advantage the others don't have. You'll be entering this contest as part of the Age of Pain. I talked it over with Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz, and they'll be doing what they can to help keep you in the match. Hopefully you can help them out too, if you're able. What's key is that there should be at least one from our side winning this. We have the best odds, and we're going to make the most of it."

Alexander looks over towards his manager.

Alexander Conway: "Advantages, disadvantages, what do they really matter? In the end, only one man will be left standing, and it has already been prophesied that that man will be me. I can't promise you that I will even attempt to assist them as you have instructed them to do for me. When they are together, they are a threat, as is Raven Connoly. Once those three are eliminated, my win is all but guaranteed, so I will be looking to backstab Arnold and Felix as soon as they give me the opening. There is something that I can promise you though. It's something that simply can not be changed, and that is what was prophesied. I shall not allow anybody to stand in the way of my destiny of becoming the new Ligero Maximo Champion, which means that I must win this little battle royale and the number one contendership along with it."

Conway's manager doesn't change his expression as he listens to Alexander give his input, as the scene concludes.




VS

VS

VS

VS

VS

VS

VS

VS

VS

Jim Jackson: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the battle royale for the number one contendership for the ULOL Ligero Maximo! We have a special treat for you all tonight as the current and reigning ULOL Ligero Maximo Lucian Blackheart will be joining us here at the announce table. Welcome Lucian."

Brad Blood: "Yes, welcome champ, it's great to be seated to the man that dominated the Ligero division."

Lucian Blackheart: "Thank you for having me."

Jim Jackson: "Well to speed things up we have foregone the individual entrances and have all ten participants already in the ring. In an interview last week, you said that Conway was your best pick to win this match, am I correct Lucian? What about Raven Connoly? Many are predicting her win here tonight."

Lucian Blackheart: "Yes Jim, that would be correct. As for Miss Connoly, I have no doubt that she will provide a great deal of entertainment tonight, but she's what I would consider an underdog. I never place bets on an underdog."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a ten-man battle royale for the number one contender of the ULOL Ligero Maximo! The participants tonight in the ring are as follows! AJ, Alexander Conway, Andrew Hunter, Arnold "GoodFella" Bold", Christopher Bain, Felix Schwarz, John "Grey Skull" Johnson, Little Wang, Raven Connoly and The British Hawk."

Brad Blood: "Looks like everyone is raring to go... This will be a good one. I can't wait to see who gets thrown out first, I hope it's the midget."

Jim Jackson: "Well we can clearly see everyone eying each other, sizing each other up. The best strategy here would be to go after the stronger competitor first, don't you agree Lucian?"

Lucian Blackheart: "That is one way to do it. But I'd imagine most of the people in the ring right now are confused as to which person is the strongest, due to simple lack of intelligence."

Jasmine Lee: "The referees for this match are Jack B. Nimble, Don Q. Hotte and Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Brad Blood: "And there's the bell! It's absolute chaos in the ring as everyone is a jumbled mess in the middle! It's a free-for-all brawl!"

Jim Jackson: "Felix Schwarz hits some punches. Massive lariat by Schwarz takes Grey Skull down! Wang slips through AJ's legs and dropkicks him on the butt! AJ falls forward into Christopher Bain who sends him flying with a German suplex!"

Brad Blood: "Raven and Conway are apparently duking it out trading punches. Here comes GoodFella rushing in... Raven and Conway with a double uppercut sends GoodFella to the mat! Here comes The British Hawk with a springboard crossbody... HE HITS NOTHING BUT CANVAS as Raven and Conway steps out of the way!"

Lucian Blackheart: "Oh, Bird Brain. It's a miracle that you're back in fighting form. Too bad you're still stupid as hell."

Jim Jackson: "Andrew Hunter keeps it simple and hits a dropkick sending Bain crashing to the corner! Hunter catches Little Wang, he tries to throw the midget over the top rope... NO! Wang lands on the top rope and springboards himself towards Christopher Bain!"

Brad Blood: "Bain catches Wang and plans to powerbomb him to the outside... NO!!! THE MIDGET COUNTERS IT WITH A HURRICANRANA AND SENDS BAIN OVER THE TOP ROPE! Bain clings on the ropes and lands on the apron... Grey Skull with a double axe handle and Bain falls out! Bain has been eliminated!"

Lucian Blackheart: "Quick question. If a jobber eliminates another jobber, do they see that as a victory?"

Jim Jackson: "Bain was the first casualty of the evening! Nine wrestlers left and the action continues! Hunter concentrates his efforts on Grey Skull stunning him with a kicking combination. GoodFella and Schwarz begin to use their heads and team up on AJ! AJ is helpless as he gets pummeled by the tag champs."

Brad Blood: "The British Hawk is back up and hits a flying knee to Andrew Hunter! He throws Hunter over the top rope but Hunter grabs on and slides back in! Grey Skull with a clothesline takes TBH down! Everyone seems to be leaving Conway and Raven alone now who are grappling in their own little world. Countering each other with brilliant moves!"

Lucian Blackheart: "Brilliant? That's a bit much."

Jim Jackson: "Conway tries to scoop Raven up who flips and lands behind him! Raven tries to hit a neckbreaker but Conway counters it into a sleeper hold! A few hard elbows and Raven counters Conway again and how has a hammerlock on Conway! Conway breaks free and now both wrestlers engage in a test of strength!"

Brad Blood: "GoodFella & Schwarz have stomped AJ into a pulp! And now they've rushed over to give Conway a hand by attacking Raven!"

Jim Jackson: "Alexander Conway waving off the Campeones Companero, telling them he's got this! Hunter with an Irish whip sends Grey Skull into the ropes... WAIT! IT'S THE MASKED MAN! THE MASKED MAN PULLED THE TOP ROPES DOWN AND GREY SKULL GOES OVER!!! John Johnson has been eliminated! Grey Skull and The Masked Man starts brawling all the way to the back."

Lucian Blackheart: "Oh that's too bad. I was actually beginning to like that guy. What's his name again?"

Jim Jackson: "Little Wang with a springboard cannon ball from out of nowhere takes Hunter down! Raven Connoly stuns Conway with a good axe kick! Snapmare sends Conway to the mat! Connoly turns around... OH! Double clothesline by GoodFella & Schwarz takes her over the top rope!"

Brad Blood: "Raven is still in the game! She landed on the apron! GoodFella & Schwarz realize it and tries to take her out... Slingshot over the top rope and Raven takes both men out with a crossbody! Meanwhile Andrew Hunter is still chasing Little Wang around the ring..."

Lucian Blackheart: "It pains me to see those two imbeciles. I guess that is there purpose though."

Jim Jackson: "AJ regains his bearings and tries to shake off the cobwebs. Conway Irish whips The British Hawk who crashes into AJ sending him smashing to the turnbuckles! TBH walks right into a jaw breaker by Conway! Conway spins around... Connoly hits a neckbreaker on Conway!"

Brad Blood: "Little Wang just slipped in between Raven's legs, Raven turns around and see Hunter charging in... Spin kick intercepts Hunter who staggers back! Felix Schwarz grabs Hunter and plants him with a reverse DDT! Raven turns around and GoodFella takes her down with a spear!"

Lucian Blackheart: "Ouch! Raven looks like she's in pain. This never would've happened if she had stayed in the kitchen where she belongs."

Jim Jackson: "AJ again attempts to get up... Little Wang with a springboard bulldog! AJ gets planted! GoodFella tries to throw Raven over the top rope. Raven holds on... Schwarz joins in and tries to get Raven out! Raven is still holding on... Raven lands on the apron and throws alternating elbows keeping GoodFella & Schwarz at bay. Conway with a dropkick sends Raven off the apron as she is entering... Raven is out thanks to a triple-teaming from the Age of Pain!"

Brad Blood: "Conway walks into a fireman carry by The British Hawk... No! Conway slips free and Irish whips TBH towards AJ! AJ grabs The British Hawk and tries a belly to belly suplex... TBH lands on his feet and hits a spin kick on AJ sending him stumbling forward... Conway holds the top rope down... AJ GOES OVER! Another one bites the dust!"

Lucian Blackheart: "And another one gone and another one gone. Another one bites the dust-ah!"

Jim Jackson: "GoodFella & Schwarz have turned their focus on Andrew Hunter. Hunter is getting hit by a barrage of punches. Double suplex on Hunter! The tag champs are using their team work to their advantage... TBH hits a springboard reverse DDT on Conway! TBH tries to throw Conway over the top rope but Conway holds on...and Felix Schwarz clubs the British Hawk to give Conway a hand!"

Brad Blood: "Andrew Hunter somehow crawls away from GoodFella... but Little Wang with a springboard dropkick off the second rope sends Hunter back into Arnold Bold's grasp... Felix Schwarz rushes in to help, and the Age of Pain bundle him over the top rope! Andrew Hunter is out! We're down to five men!"

Lucian Blackheart: "Looking at Little Wang it's more like four and a half. Then again we also don't know what Felix Schwarz is. So maybe it's more like three and a half men... and a possible relative of Boy Bakla."

Jim Jackson: "GoodFella & Schwarz begin to chase Little Wang around... Conway somehow battles out of his precarious situation and is sending The British Hawk back with a series of punches and kicks. TBH with a wild right... IT CONNECTS! Conway is stunned! TBH goes in for the kill..."

Brad Blood: "Little Wang comes in between him and Conway! TBH turns around and sees the tag champs running towards him chasing the midget... Dropkick by TBH sends both men down! Little Wang with a springboard hurricanrana on TBH... TBH counters it into a sit-down powerbomb! TBH picks the midget up... Little Wang flies over the top rope and is out of here! Little Wang has been eliminated! It's just the British Hawk and the Age of Pain!"

Lucian Blackheart: "And then there were three men... and Schwarz."

Jim Jackson: "TBH will have to go through the Age of Pain to win this! Conway, Schwarz and GoodFella have been covering each other, making it all the way to the final four! GoodFella & Schwarz start attacking TBH... They manage to send him over to the ropes... GoodFella & Schwarz try to bundle TBH over... TBH is holding on for dear life... Conway sneaks up to help shove TBH off, TBH's legs lock in on GoodFella's head and flips GoodFella over the top rope! GoodFella is out! Felix Schwarz gets surprised by his partner's sudden elimination TBH stuns him with an enziguri, TBH with an uppercut stuns Conway! TBH flips Felix Schwarz over the top rope as Conway shakes off the stars!"

Brad Blood: "There goes Schwarz! It's now down to two men! Conway tries to hit TBH, TBH with a shoulder to Conway's midsection through the middle rope stops Conway. The British Hawk enters back into the ring..."

Lucian Blackheart: "Looks like the end of the Age of Pain... Literally."

Jim Jackson: "TBH hits a dropkick on Alexander Conway. Springboard reverse elbow by The British Hawk. Conway blocks a suplex attempt. Conway hits a wicked chop. Conway hits a dropkick on The British Hawk. TBH almost went over the top rope! Flying knee to the face from Alexander Conway. Spin kick by Alexander Conway to the face. TBH is in trouble..."

Brad Blood: "The British Hawk pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Flying elbow off the top rope by The British Hawk. Diving headbutt from TBH. The British Hawk is gaining momentum..."

Lucian Blackheart: "Come on Conway! I've got a lot of money riding on you!"

Jim Jackson: "Spin kick by The British Hawk to the face. Conway walks into a high dropkick from The British Hawk. Conway backdrops The British Hawk out of a piledriver attempt. Conway uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Springboard blockbuster! TBH is down! Alexander Conway hits The British Hawk with an enziguri kick, quickly picks The British Hawk up, and throws him with a release German Suplex. Alexander Conway then waits for him to get back to his feet before hitting The British Hawk with a super kick executing a Signum Excellence! THE BRITISH HAWK GOES OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!"

Brad Blood: "IT'S OVER! CONWAY WINS THE BATTLE ROYALE!"

Lucian Blackheart: "Pay up, Brad. A deal's a deal... and I know where you live, so."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the battle royale and new number one contender for the ULOL Ligero Maximo, Alexander Conway!"

Jim Jackson: "After a hard fought battle Conway comes out on top. It seems that you may have your hands full in the PPV Lucian, Alexander Conway is not an easy game... What will be your game plan Lucian?"

Lucian Blackheart: "Jim, I have a really simple game plan. You see, Alexander is a great competitor... But he's just not at the level where I need to complicate things. So what I'm going to do, is what I have been doing since I got here. Dominate!"

Brad Blood: "Agh! I don't know who to bet on... I mean root for in the PPV!"

Jim Jackson: "Well thank you for joining us tonight and good luck in the PPV."

Lucian Blackheart: "You're welcome. It's not every day that I find myself being able to hang out with commoners. Not that I'd want to. But I do feel like I'm doing good in the world every time I hang out with the less fortunate. So thank you, Jim."






We arrive at a room full of electronic equipment. Several screens show different areas of the United League of Lunatics. A few people are seated in front of the control panels of these machines.

Standing behind them, is the manager of the Age of Pain, Manolo Ferrer.


Manolo Ferrer: "This isn't one of the rooms you usually see on Lucha Loco or the pay per views. This is the ULOL production booth. The people here handle all the special effects, intro music, pyro, and cameras. I'm here, because the talking point about me lately seems to be about my recent preference to have my promos put up on the big 'tron on the stage, instead of having me in the ring, talking to people. I don't know why certain people are criticizing me for this. They want me to talk to them face to face, in the flesh. That's why I'm in this room."

Mr. Ferrer leans over towards one of the engineers running the booth.

Manolo Ferrer: "We're ready? Okay. Now, I don't know why I'm being criticized for this, so I had to trawl the Lucha Logo archives to find a promo where I was confronting someone face to face. Guess what? It wasn't even that long ago."

Manolo Ferrer directs your attention to a wall full of small TV screens.

April 17 Lucha Loco

All That Remains from Fozzy started playing in the speaker as "The Age Of Pain" are Making their way to the ring. The fans are giving a mixed reaction but more to being booed at due to Taufik cashing in on the title which the masked wrestler who is called Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing once own but lost to Musashi Kuruma. Taufik ripped the newly won title off from Musashi and now is called Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik. As Taufik reached the ring, he took the mic from the ring announcer as he posed with the Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik high up in the air before he starts to speak

Taufik: "What? You all aren't happy of what I've done?"

The fans are giving out more jeering than cheering but Taufik doesn't care as he continues to speak.

Taufik: "Guess what people, here's a newsflash for ya. I don't care what you all think. Why you asked? You guys assume that I will cash it in on the Ultimo Primo as soon as I won this title, that was my initial plan at first but since Alexander Conway is now apart of "The Age Of Pain" I have to find other alternatives and that's where my esteemed manager, Mr.Manolo has given me the idea to cash it in on then Correa Grande Del Oro De Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing on the night he is defending it. Well it's too bad that Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing lost the title that he created so I cash it in to the next best thing, the person who won the title that it is now the Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik, Musashi Kuruma."

More jeering is coming from the fans as Taufik make a gesture that he is smarter than you think.

Taufik: "You guys can hate me all you want cause this title is no longer Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's. It is mine and Nobody and I mean NOBODY will take it take it away from me. I'd rather be hated for something that I have done right than being cheered for nothing."

Taufik gives out some laughter before he continues as the fans keep jeering at Taufik.

Taufik: "Now that "The Age Of Pain" is in control of every major title that ULOL has. Tonight my good buddy and his partner is going to face the team that they won the titles from, Morbidly Unstoppable. They will however will do what they've always done, and that is fall to the hands of "The Age Of Pain" once again."

Taufik passed the mic to any member of the group who wants to speak as the crowd still jeering on Taufik

The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura walks slowly to the start of the ramp. Ray stops and the lights turn back on after lightning strikes behind him. Ray lifts a mic to his mouth.

Ray Kamaura: "Taufik, Taufik, Taufik. I would like to be the first to give you a congrats on your fine work. You, being the brillant competitor that you are, used the ULOL Boleto Dorado to win the Correa Grande Del Oro De Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. Good job, no doubt it was Manolo's idea?"

Ray looks up to the big screen above his head as film starts playing.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "And as we will wrestle to see who is the better man, I will, as always, offer the Correa Grande Del Oro De Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing as a prize for the winner! Whoever it may be! This is a title that needs no contender's matches! No one has to sing and dance to challenge for the title I now carry! When I compete, the Correa Grande Del Oro De Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is on the line! And it could be yours, Musashi Kuruma! But if I win, I hope you will still let me rub your belly! For good luck!"

Ray looks back at Taufik.

Ray Kamaura: "The point I'm tring to make is that you wasted your chance. You won a worthless belt. Its only value is know that you won it. It is as useless as the ULOL Ligero Maximo title. You should have just asked Musashi Kuruma for a match then had your life partners beat him down to win the fight. Oh but that doesn't matter because you finally found a new shiny belt to wear. The only thing that title is good for is holding up your pants. The Age of Pain now seems to be the most powerful stable in the ULOL. We might have to start getting some new members. But when its time It's gonna be Game Over for you all."

Ray paces back and forth on the ramp.

Ray Kamaura: "Now Leon is not at the ULOL building tonight. So I'm here by myself. But that won't stop me from whipping The Age of Pain left, right, up and down all over this damn arena!"

Ray stops and waits for a reply.

Manolo Ferrer steps forward, taking the microphone from the new Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik. He blandly responds to Ray Kamaura.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Kamaura has taken the trouble to come out here and have a better, more....intense....look at me. I know, because I can see his erection. And I'm still not impressed by it."

Mr. Ferrer walks to the side of the ring nearest to the stage. The manager leans on the ropes as he continues addressing Mr. Kamaura. His words not going beyond a calm tone that is pleasing to the ears.

Manolo Ferrer: "I'm also not impressed at all by anything you say. Last week you say I'm only brave hiding behind other people. You conveniently forget that I went one on one with Mr. Conway. And you say this not only to my face, but in the presence of Mr. Conway."

Mr. Ferrer points up to the screen over Mr. Kamaura's head. Sure enough, video from Ferrer's last confrontation with the DWMA plays.

April 10 Lucha Loco.

Alexander looks over at Mr. Ferrer.

Alexander Conway: "As for the present situation, there is no sense in fighting over it with you. I'm stuck in it either way. But, like you said, we can both profit off of this. Whatever ideas you have, I'll listen. I don't have that much of a choice in the matter anyway."

Alexander rises from the chair and walks over to join Manolo and Taufik as he waits to leave the locker room of his former allies.

Ray stands up from his sitting position.

Ray Kamaura: Manolo, you sir, are nothing more than a scared child hiding behind a bigger kid. Now under normal circumstances Conway would have beaten you into a bloody pile of stool. However I understand that you had to get on your knees in the parking lot and offer Alister King a "favor". But unlike The Age of Pain, The DWMA takes no short cuts. We don't need to. So before you leave, be assured that The Age of Pain will soon be over."

Ray stares into Manolo's eye with great intensity. Then the video ends, and Manolo Ferrer continues.

Manolo Ferrer: "Such smoldering intensity. You are clearly thinking with your Little Ray too much. I never fought Mr. Conway in a handicap match, Mr. Kamaura. I'm sure Mr. Conway doesn't remember me hiding behind anyone, either. In fact, I was the one who walked up to him, and told him to his face what I thought of him. If there's anyone playing hide and seek, it's you."

Manolo Ferrer nods slowly, like a sage revealing some lost secret.

Manolo Ferrer: "It's you, Mr. Kamaura. You and Mr. Hinomoto figured you were going to ride Zombie's coattails to the top of the ladder in ULOL. You two hid behind my client, Mr. Conway, hoping some of his success would rub off on you. But you two kept mucking it up for him at every turn."

The manager of the Age of Pain again points to the screen above Mr. Kamaura's head. A clip from the main event of Here's Your H.E.R.P.E.S.! plays. We see Kamaura aiming to whack Shogun with a chair, only for Shogun to duck at the last second, resulting in Conway getting smashed, and an eventual Shogun victory.

Manolo Ferrer: "You cost him one title shot against Mr. Shogun. Then later you tried to take Mr. Shogun out, in the hopes of injuring him so he would have to forfeit to my client."

The manager of the Age of Pain again gestures to the big screen. We see the DWMA attack Shogun, dropping him with big moves even as Alexander Conway shouts at them to stop.

Manolo Ferrer: "Ladies and gentlemen, that's the DWMA's idea of not going for shortcuts. Oh, and let's not forget this gem."

Mr. Ferrer's delivery is not unlike Steve Jobs hyping a new product. We see a clip of Ray Kamaura visiting then-General Manager Marcus Troy. This was after Kamaura lost his title challenge against Shogun at HanuChrisKwanbo.

January 6 Lucha Loco

Marcus Troy: "Can I help you Ray?"

Ray Kamaura: "You're damn right you can help me. So last Sunday at the first ever ULOL PPV I pinned The Champ... TWICE. Sadly I Lost the match. But I still deserve my Return Match. Just Because Shogun forced me to tap out means nothing. The fact is I pinned Him twice. I am still the Number One Contender for the ULOL Primo Ultimo Championship. You need to think about that Marcus and make this injustice right. How is it possible that I main evented at the PPV and now I'm up again some bird man with buck teeth and big chin."


The clip ends. Mr. Ferrer waves out his arm towards the big Ray Kamaura.

Manolo Ferrer: "That was said by the man who has proudly gone on record that he does not take shortcuts. Mr. Kamaura lost his big chance, on his own, and wanted an immediate do-over. Never mind that he just didn't have it in him to win when it mattered."

Mr. Ferrer mildly smirks as he listens to the crowd's reaction. He goes on, still calm as ever.

Manolo Ferrer: "I see you've lost your erection, Mr. Kamaura. Good. Now, please stop calling Mr. Taufik and Mr. Blackheart's titles as 'worthless'. Just because you have been unable to win anything of importance here doesn't mean those titles don't mean anything. You even tried throwing Mr. Conway under the bus, claiming you never needed to take the shortcut, when you and Mr. Hinomoto went out of your way to try to help him, misfiring every time. Mr. Conway can be sure that his career is now in much better hands than when he was associated with you. Contrary to what you and your erection would think, the Age of Pain is not your problem. We have no interest in replacing you as your own worst enemy."

Manolo Ferrer pauses, before adding.

Manolo Ferrer: "You can go now, Mr. Kamaura."

Taufik gave out a laugh as Ray Kamaura is ignorant of the prestige of the title which he holds. Taufik starts to speak before Ray Kamaura even reply.

Taufik: "Ray, you were dumber than I thought. You didn't know that winning this title means it will have my name on the title that's one thing and the other thing is that since this title is named after ME. I get to make the rules, I get to pick the stipulation to the matches I want and all the details of this title will be revealed soon but one thing is for sure this title will be with me for the longest time and I will be the greatest and smartest champion of all time."

Taufik gives out some laughter as he awaits for Ray Kamaura to speak.

Mr. Ferrer once again steps forward, this time addressing his clients.

Manolo Ferrer: "No need to keep taking up Mr. Kamaura's time, gentlemen. I'm sure he has an appointment with a doctor somewhere, to try and save whatever's left of his ego."

Mr. Ferrer then turns to speak to Ray Kamaura, still standing on the stage.

Manolo Ferrer: "Thank you for entertaining us, Mr. Kamaura. You've made our victory celebration that much more memorable. I think I can get you a gig for my goddaughter's birthday party. She's four, and she likes clowns. You may go now."

Manolo Ferrer returns to the task at hand, as his clients continue to celebrate Taufik's championship victory. Ray Kamaura is left standing on the stage. Alone.

Ray chuckles but continues.

Ray Kamaura: "Ride Zombie's coat tails? As I recall I arrived shortly before Zombie did. My First day in the ULOL and I won my first match on 12/02/2010. I lost my second match to Alexander. Then the very next week I beat two other men and became the Number One contender."

Ray starts to pace again but he stops and grows silent.

Ray Kamaura: "Then, at the ULOL first PPV HanuChrisKwanbo, I was in the main event battling for the ULOL Primo Ultimo Championship. Then I became the first man to Pin the champ. So in only for short weeks I had accomplished more that Taufik ever will and before you go bragging about your worthless Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik remember that you won it from an injured, tired, monk."

Ray Kamaura drops the mic and turns the the back. Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. Ray takes his leave.

Manolo Ferrer quickly gets back on the microphone.

Manolo Ferrer: "Kill his music. Please kill his music."

Indeed, Ray Kamaura's music stops. Seeing that he has gotten Mr. Kamaura's attention, Mr. Ferrer continues.

Manolo Ferrer: "Yes, Mr. Kamaura. We know you managed to become the top contender to challenge Mr. Shogun. And what did that get you? You couldn't get it done. You weren't able to do it. You were reduced to going to the General Manager, trying to convince him to give you another title shot. And now here you are, trashing any title you aren't good enough for. That's being a pussy, Mr. Kamaura."

Mr. Ferrer hears the crowd's reaction.

Manolo Ferrer: "You couldn't beat the Primo Ultimo Champion. You couldn't get the Campeones Companero. I guess those titles are worthless to you, too then. In which case, why in this company still employing you?"

Mr. Ferrer then turns away from Ray Kamaura.

Manolo Ferrer: "If Mr. King or his advisers are listening, I urge them to do the right thing, and release Mr. Ray Kamaura from his ULOL contract. Clearly, he has become a bad influence in the locker room, calling this company's championships worthless while still getting a paycheck. He has become more undesirable than Brostar. He should be removed. Immediately."

Ray turns slowly and grows frustrated at Manolo.

Ray Kamaura: "You are very sly. The way you just tried to get me fired. That, Sir, is a short cut. Also, don't compare me to Brostar. I have something he never will. EVERYTHING!"

Ray laughs then turns around and walks out.

Manolo Ferrer waits till Ray Kamaura exits the stage.

Manolo Ferrer: "That was Mr. Ray Kamaura, ladies and gentlemen. Yes, he knows a thing or two about shortcuts, and how to completely drop the ball on them. Mr. Conway and his fans have witnessed it, firsthand."

Alexander Conway's new manager continues.

Manolo Ferrer: "Like I said, I really don't see how this company should keep Mr. Kamaura on the payroll. All he has going for him is just talk about how he thinks ULOL's championships are worthless, simply because he's not able to win any of them. And by the way, has anyone noticed that Mr. Kamaura once again failed to live up to his own talk? He just said he was going to come down here, and fight the Age of Pain."

Manolo Ferrer takes the moment to look around, exaggerating his movements as if he is trying to find someone in the audience.

Manolo Ferrer: "I don't see him now. Again, this is just another sign of just how Mr. Kamaura cannot live up to his own hype. But, he has a bright future doing children's parties. But enough about him. Now, the Age of Pain...celebrates."

The video of the confrontation ends. Mr. Ferrer then asks a question.


Manolo Ferrer: "I want to ask the Douches Who Make Assumptions if it's less painful for them to turn tail and run away when I'm right in front of them, instead of me being broadcast on a videowall. I honestly can't tell. In this video from a few weeks ago, Mr. Kamaura came out all ready to get into a fistfight, but he lost his nerve, and ran away. Which is pretty much the same reaction he, Mr. Hinomoto and Mr. Monotomo had earlier. They ran away. Maybe Mr. Kamaura gets a better hard-on when he can see me live and in the flesh."

Mr. Ferrer makes an exaggerated shrug, as several telephone numbers suddenly appear in front of him.

Manolo Ferrer: "I'm bringing this question up to the entire ULOL Universe. Do you think the DWMA find it easier to run screaming back to their mothers if I'm actually in front of them, or if I'm projected on a giant TV screen?"

Do you think the DWMA find it easier to run away from Manolo Ferrer if he is actually in front of them, or if he is projected on a giant TV screen? flashes in front of the viewer, alongside the phone numbers to be used for viewers to respond to.

Manolo Ferrer: "Please text in your answers to the numbers on your screen. The winner will receive a prize from ULOL."

The scene ends.






The sun shines brightly as worshippers take their turns to offer their joss sticks to the brazier, or enter the temple to kneel in prayer. The temple courtyard is filled with people, but everyone either patiently lines up, or tries not to impede the other visitors.

Many of the worshippers and tourists who have come to this temple, however, cannot help but stare at a man leaving the main temple. He is used to the curious looks people give him, it is to be expected for the path he has chosen. He is also alone for once, with no horde of reporters following his every step.

He is none other than the righteous ring general of the squared circle. He is the masked man known throughout all of civilization only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

He exits the temple gate, where several reporters wait for him.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello! I have come here to show my respects to Buddha on his happy birthday! I have also come to score some good fortune, as I prepare for an opportunity to bring justice for my loving and luscious people! I have come to rub Buddha's belly on his happy birthday, so that I may have added power to take the fight to that eater of my people!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing waves his hand in a circle in front of him, like he's rubbing someone's belly.

Reporter: [You will be challenging that monster with Morbidly Obese Man and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson also challenging. Are they going to be on your side?]

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "We all want to get rid of that zombie! This is more than just a match for a championship! This cannot be said enough! That zombie has kept one step ahead for so long! But he will not pass this time! My people should not have been the prawn cocktails and pot roast of his murderous bulimic binge eating! I think I will not stand alone, as I am sure the big mountain of manmeat and unstoppably standing Johnson have good decency to help put away such evil! Regardless of what happens in this match, I will work to bring some burning justice to that Undead Unfriend of my people!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing raises a defiant fist, before stepping into his waiting gold SUV.




Last edited by The Morbidly Obese Man on Sun May 15, 2011 6:17 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/15/2011   Sun May 15, 2011 10:26 am



The camera opens up to show Lex Lexington standing in the interview area

Lex Lexington: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Please welcome my guest at this time, One half of the newly formed team known as the Anarchists, He is the Mad Man, Shadow Callahan."

Shadow Callahan walks into view of the camera wearing a white expressionless mask and stares at Lex unnervingly

Lex Lexington: "Shadow, Last week You and Shogun teamed up to take on the General Manager, Allister King, and his partner, Boy Bakla. The Anarchists got the win but afterwards continued to attack your opponents. Why?"

Shadow Callahan: "Do we need reasons to do what must be done? Does the universe need a reason to exist? No it doesn't. The King of Fools and his gimp of a partner were made an example of. We dominated that match and made sure that they will remember who is superior. If not, then we have no problem doing it again, and again, and again."

Lex Lexington: "Well Do you and Shogun plan on going after the tag titles of the age of pain?"

Shadow Callahan: "Are you Brain Dead? Are you retarded? Or are you just plain stupid?"

Lex Lexington: "I ahh ..."

Shadow Callahan: "We already explained our plans last week! We will eliminate all competition in order to achieve greatness."

Lex Lexington: "But what about Mr. King, the general manager?"

Shadow Callahan: "Allister, the king of fools, should stay out of my way unless he wants more punishment. Last week, He had to be carried out because we TOOK him out. And he still wants to fight? He is more of a fool than I couldn't even begin to comprehend."

Shadow begins to tilt his head and stares into the camera

Shadow Callahan: "Allister! If you are watching this, I will tell you again. Give it up! I will end you for good just like i did to you granny fucking friend. Don't worry I will make it different. One more befitting of a king. Then when you are dead and buried, I will go to your widowed wife, take her to your grave, and make him scream, cry and enjoy every minute of it. As I defile your wife on your grave, I will laugh."

Shadow starts laughing and walks away

Lex Lexington: "That was .... disturbing."

The Camera fades to black






Lounging around in the locker rooms, the former tag team champions Morbidly Unstoppable is seen getting ready for their match tonight. The unusually large individual also known as The Morbidly Obese Man has a bucket of chicken in on hand and grabs a chicken leg with the other stuffing it into his mouth. After breathing in his food, the big wrestler turns to his partner and speaks.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Well Johnson, I guess tonight's the night. We finally get that title shot for the premiere belt here in ULOL, the ULOL Primo Ultimo title. Zombie's days are numbered. Still the wild card that worries me is that masked freak Q. He's unpredictable, I think we may need to keep our eyes on him more."

The big man settles down and offers the bucket of chicken to his partner who graciously declines.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "One thing though Johnson, since this is ALSO my chance at the top title, don't expect me to bend over and just hand the gold to you. If you want the title, you'd have to fight for it."

A big grin appears on the face of The Morbidly Obese Man as he waits for his partner to reply.


Jack Johnson just eyes his partner and opponent.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I wouldn't expect you to bend over for anything, let alone the Primo Ultimo title. I'd expect you to give it your all, because it might come down to whoever is the last man standing between us two that gets the top prize."

UJJ becomes more relaxed.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Just remember this Lard Ass.. We both have a deal If either one of us win the title then we become the first in line to challenge for it. Remember?"

UJJ stands up and heads towards the door.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Good luck out there and let the best man win."

UJJ opens the door and leaves as the scene fades to black.






A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals hits the speakers. After a moment fire spouts from the entrance ramp and "The Demonic God" Shogun can be seen walking through. The familiar emotionless expression can be seen glued to the mans face as he makes his slow decent down the ramp towards the ring to the fans dismay. Soon Shogun enters the ring and takes a mic from an awaiting ring hand where where he now begins to speak.

Shogun: "Well what do you know...It appears that I am back on the winning side of things! I told you all that The Anarchist would destroy that pathetic tag team and we did. I also told you that the next step will be destroying the Age of Pain. Trust me when I say that we will make short work in becoming the next number one contenders for the Campeónes Compañero."

Shogun: "When we do that you can all rest assured that there will be NEW Campeónes Compañeros here in ULOL. Then very soon after that you will all see a new Primo Ultimo champion as well. ME!"

Shogun: "The gloves come off now. No one is going to stand in my way any longer for I am the BEST wrestler on the face of this planet in the BEST tag team on the face of this planet! We are the men who will set the bar. It shall be set so high that no one will ever be able to reach it."

Shogun: "Be ready for the change is coming. A new era if you will. The era of The Anarchists!"

Shogun then drops the mic and exits the ring






He tripped on his own chains, unable to react in time to stop himself from falling. Then several pairs of hands grab him, dragging him back up. Their words he could not understand, but he could tell that they were angry.

A push from behind, and he is walking again, someone pulling his bound hands to guide him along.

He could hear the sounds of a large crowd ahead. He had little doubt they planned to make some sort of spectacle out of him. He could only guess what cruel horrors they have planned for him, when he felt the noise of the crowd all around him.

They remove the hood that had kept Marcus Troy blindfolded ever since they took him out of his cell. The man squints, staring at the size of the crowd gathered to see him. He is standing dead center in some type of arena.

The guards untie his bonds, and one tells him to stand still, the only English he's heard in weeks. Marcus sees just how big and brawny his guards are, and decides to do what they told him.

They leave him as they return to the tunnel behind him, locking the barred door behind them.

Marcus sees that the arena has several entrances. As the crowd boos loudly at him, the door in front of him opens.

Troy goes white as a sheet as a huge bear enters the arena. It does not take him much to guess what they have in mind.

The ex-boss of the ULOL quickly runs back to the tunnel behind him. He shakes the door's iron bars, shouting at the guards to let him back in.

Someone shoves his stick through the bars, forcing Troy to step away.


Marcus Troy: "You can't do this! The UN will hear of this! You'll be condemned as barbarians!"

He looks at the big bear moving towards him. It's huge, and even though it is wearing a muzzle, the bear is big enough to break his bones.

Troy tries climbing up the walls, but is immediately pelted with drinks and rotten fruit.

And then the bear corners him. Weeks of being locked up and not getting enough food have worn Troy down, making him all too easy of a target for the bear.

He is thrown hard into the wall, falling into a heap of limbs as the crowd cheers.

The bear grabs Troy again, and lifts him over its head, sending the man sailing facefirst into the dirt.

Troy weakly tries to crawl away. But the bear is already on top of him. He feels big paws tearing at his dirty clothes.

Marcus Troy could see every moment of his life all at once, as the bear's breath tickles the back of his neck.

Then he felt something hairless plunge between his buttcheeks.

Marcus Troy's soul-burning scream of sodomized agony is drowned out by the massive cheer of approval from the crowd, as the big bear pushes deeper inside him. He desperately flails his arms and legs any which way he can, but he is took weak and hurt, and the bear is too big and aroused.

Somewhere in the crowd, several announcers are giving a blow by blow of what the bear is doing.


Play By Play Man: [It's only fitting that our nation's great wrestling bears are used to deliver justice to this evil man! These bears, who have helped train so many of our homeland's wrestling heroes, are every bit a part of our proud nation! You can expect more of the sodomy of justice to be delivered to Marcus Troy, every Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays after the news!]

The big bear on top of Marcus Troy moans as it thrusts deeper into the little man underneath it.






Tubular Hell plays as the lights flicker wildly
A figure walks out among smoke and down the entrance ramp
He climbs into the ring and looks directly into the camera with Dead Eyes as flames explode from both sides of the entrance ramp behind him.
Chriso looks up and takes out a microphone.


Chriso: "Well I guess the secret's out..........
Chriso has returned to ULOL!!!"


The crowd let out a loud cheer

Chriso: "And what better way to return.........
Last week I proved my power has not diminished over the years..........
by destroying the Masked Man........."


More Cheers

Chriso: "And then........
To make the night even better.......
Zombie decides to pay me a little visit........."


The crowd let out a big boo with some scattered cheers

Chriso: "If Zombie wants to come out and challenge me...........
Then why didn't he attack me?...........
Ill tell you why.........
Its because you FEAR me Zombie.......
In the past you have seen my wrath..........
How i do not rest until vengeane has been taken..........
and honour has been restored!!!"


The crowd begin chanting Chriso's name as Chriso raises his arm.
A loud thunder crash deafens everyone silencing the crowd.
A few boos kick up, but most stay silent.


Chriso: "BUT.........
If you wanna prove me wrong..........
then please...........
GET OUT HERE.......... NOW!!!"


On the 'Now' the lights flicker wilder than ever to go with Chriso's anger
Chriso lowers the mic and stares down at the floor.
The crowd begin chanting Zombie's name waiting to see if Zombie accepts the challenge


Creeping Death by Metallica blasts through the arena and Zombie walks out holding his championship belt in air. He walks down to the ring and the crowd boos him. He snaps his teeth at a few of the fans and laughs when a child starts to cry. He continues on and enters the ring. He holds the Primo Ultimo aloft once again in the middle of ring and grins when the boos from the crowd seem to get louder. He closes his eyes for a minute soaking in the boos. He opens his eyes still smiling broadly and grabs a microphone.

Zombie: "I hope you morons are going to shut your faces now!"

The crowds boos seem to get even louder if it was even possible. Zombie chuckles at the crowd.

Zombie: "You know you people are stupid! You don't seem to realise that these boos empower me! I love the fact that you hate me!"

The crowd now seems to be indecisive with only half the crowd continuing to boo.

Zombie: "Now then down to business! I know alot of people seem to be talking about the Tag Team Division. But who cares? Who cares if Shogun was taunted by Manolo Ferrer and now he seems to have stopped his "hunt" for my title. Who cares if he couldn't think of a better name for his new tag team?"

Zombie lets a sly grin out of the side of his mouth.

Zombie: "But enough of that! Tonight is the night you people have been waiting for! The night where I put three idiots to rest once and for all! The night where you will all see a REAL champion fight! I will continue my reign over this company and no man living will stop me!"

Zombie laughs maniacally.

Zombie: "I know Q still will not relent in his effort to destroy me but his efforts will continue to fall short of the mark. He does not know what it takes to bring me down."

His mind seems to wander as if his next topic is linked to his last. His mood now dropping with each thought.

Zombie: "So! You have come back!"

Some of the crowd cheer as they know who Zombie is talking about.

Zombie: "Chriso! If you dare come anywhere near me tonight I WILL make it my personal task to put you back where you belong! Those fires will hold no one else! And after I am finished I will celebrate once again and take another village as my feast! Maybe I'll revisit a village I already know and love."

Zombie grins once again and looks at the camera directly with pure evil intent burning in his eyes.


The lights go out suddenly.
Suddenly they come back on very quickly and off in an instant. A figure is seen standing behind Zombie very briefly.
Zombie spins around but is too late as the lights go off and on and the figure is gone.
Zombie looks around madly.
Suddenly a deep, low voice echos around the arena


Chriso: "Zombie.......
You are in no position to make threats to me..........
You should have known a fiery pit cannot hold me.......
And about putting me back in that pit........
THIS TIME........
YOU..... will be the one that the flames........
and the Darkness take.........
You had better be alert from now on Zombie.......
Because now i'm back.......
You are no longer safe!!!"


Zombie continues to look around angrily and stops to address the mysterious voice of Chriso.

Zombie: "Why don't you show yourself instead of staying behind those silly tricks of yours?"

Zombie walks to a corner of the ring and continues.

Zombie: "Maybe then next time we'll have to make those fires stronger! Make sure that your ass goes down for an eternity this time! Then we can kill two birds with one stone! We can get rid of you! And we won't have blackouts in this company anymore!"

Zombie smirks and walks back to the centre of the ring. He adjusts the championship belt on his shoulder a little.

Zombie: "I am not afraid of you Chriso! In fact I take back what I said just now. I welcome your distraction or interruption tonight! You can enter this ring and I can show you exactly what this undead wrestler has become since we last battled!"


The lights flicker again very briefly
A voice is heard again but this time it is not an echo.


Chriso: "But Zombie.....
I'm already in the ring."


Zombie spins around quickly to see Chriso staring into his eyes.

Chriso: "The time is not now.....
so you can relax.....
but you want to show what you have become since we last battled?.......
Haven't you wondered if I have become stronger since then too?......."


Zombie approaches Chriso staring back into Chriso's eyes.

Zombie: "Then when the time does come, I hope for your sake you will surprise me! Otherwise if you do not I will make it quick!"

Zombie chuckles and pushes past Chriso making his way out of the ring.


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/15/2011   Sun May 15, 2011 10:28 am



The scene opens with Stank Lord and Stephen Dawson in their locker rooms as Stank Lord speaks.

Stank Lord: "STEHPEN!! What was your problem two weeks ago? Hey? I simply told you to help me win the match... And not screw it up."

Stephen Dawson: "I was just trying to help you out."

Stank Lord: "Help me?.... Next time I'm in a match you better, do what you were suppose to do and help me win because if you don't.... Well lets just say we will find out. As for now get a bottle of water for me."

Stephen Dawson: "Yes, sir."

Stephen said as he walks out of the locker room to do what he was told to do as the camera fades away.




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VS

VS

VS

Jasmine Lee: "The following contest is a fatal fourway match for the Primo Ultimo Championship!"

The fans cheer in response. Then they go nuts when nu-metal music begins to play. A highlight reel of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing runs on the ULOLTron. A horde of reporters and photographers gather at the stage entrance, recording the masked man's every movement as he poses for the fans, before heading to the ring.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the first challenger. Here is Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Brad Blood: "He gets a chance at revenge against Zombie. He says he's got the fighting spirit of his people on his side. But is that gonna be enough?"

Jim Jackson: "Q has been tormented by the tragedy that happened to his people thanks to Zombie. He gets a chance to not only beat Zombie for the championship, but maybe also destroy the monster."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the next challenger. Here is the Morbidly Obese Man!"

THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!! The earth reverberated and shook as the monstrosity known as The Morbidly Obese Man squeezed himself out of the now visibly cracked entrance tunnel. There is no entrance music and no video playing on the Titan Tron. Just one massive form that looks bigger than an elephant. The crowd stares in stunned silence, not knowing what to make of the super-sized behemoth making his way down the entrance ramp as the floors creak with every step. As The Morbidly Obese Man reaches the ring he climbs up the steel steps the crowd wonders how this "thing" can enter the ring. But lo and behold in a feat of utter incredibility and great fat flexing ability, The Morbidly Obese Man somehow squeezed through the ring ropes and enters the ring which sighs heavily under his weight.

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man has his eyes set on the Primo Ultimo title too. He comes into the match with his tag partner also a challenger for the same title. Both men have made it clear they wouldn't hesitate to take each other out in the match, if it means winning the championship."

Brad Blood: "At least Jack Johnson won't have to worry about his partner eating him like a cheeseburger."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the next challenger. Here is 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson!"

Tinie Tempah - Simply Unstoppable (Yes Rock Remix) blasts over the arena as 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson enters the stage through a spark shower. He makes his way to the ring. He enters the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, scouting the entire arena.

Jim Jackson: "Johnson's had a couple of opportunities challenging for the title, but he's been unable to win it. If he and the Morbidly Obese Man work together, they could wear down their opponents enough, before the two tag partners decide it'll be every man for himself."

Brad Blood: "I think both Zombie and Q actually suspect Morbidly Unstoppable will use this strategy. It makes sense for Morbidly Unstoppable to team up against Q and Zombie. But would Q and Zombie team up themselves if they need to?"

Jasmine Lee: "And making his way to the ring, here is the Primo Ultimo Champion, Zombie!"

Creeping Death by Metallica plays as Zombie slowly walks out. Zombie strolls down to the ring. He shows off his title belt as he steps into the ring, hissing at Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Brad Blood: "He celebrates title wins by eating whole villages. He's every bit the monster Marcus Troy wanted when he brought him to ULOL. And now he's the champ."

Jim Jackson: "There are superstars in ULOL who bill themselves as monsters and murderers. But Zombie, unfortunately, is the yardstick of evil that they all have to measure up to."

Brad Blood: "I hope you're not trying to say they should find a way to one-up the guy."

Jasmine Lee: "Your official in charge is Don Q. Hotte. And now...LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie and his three challengers will all be in the ring at the same time for this match! And Zombie is quickly swarmed by Q and Morbidly Unstoppable! They're beating him down!"

Brad Blood: "No question among the three living superstars that the undead guy is the biggest threat!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie manages to clothesline Q! But Johnson blasts him with a stiff shot to the back of the head! The Morbidly Obese Man with a belly to bellly suplex on Zombie! Q gets back in the fray, helping Morbidly Unstoppable stomp down the Zombie!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie survived the combined attack of the Age of Pain, Morbidly Unstoppable AND Q to win the Primo Ultimo title! His challengers for this match have to keep pummeling away, if they even want to have as much of a chance in this match. And I'm not even talking about winning. I'm talking about them walking out of here not being bitten by Zombie!"

Jim Jackson: "Johnson is countered! But Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing clips Zombie in the leg! Then leaps up for a facebuster on Zombie!"

Brad Blood: "But Zombie manages to poke the Morbidly Obese Man in the eye!"

Jim Jackson: "But 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson gets back at Zombie with a takedown! Morbidly Unstoppable...doubleteam gorilla press slam on the Primo Ultimo Champion!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie's trying to bail!"

Jim Jackson: "Doesn't get far! Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing sends Zombie running into a Morbidly Obese Man sidewalk slam! TMOM holds on...and his tag partner with a leaping legdrop to Zombie!"

Brad Blood: "But Zombie rolls to his feet!"

Jim Jackson: "Johnson gets punched down! He blocks Q's charge, and slams him down to the mat! Zombie's enraged!"

Brad Blood: "But the Morbidly Obese One PLOWS him down!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie spitting some icky puss from his mouth! And TMOM and Johnson quickly go back to stomping him!"

Brad Blood: "Q back into the fray! He's planning something with TMOM and UJJ!"

Jim Jackson: "Morbidly Unstoppable LAUNCH Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing onto Zombie! Q with a vicious splash to the champion! And now TMOM off the ropes with a splash of his own!"

Brad Blood: "All three of them just dogpiling Zombie!"

Jim Jackson: "They just grabbed Q and flipped him in the air like a pancake! TMOM and UJJ attacking Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Brad Blood: "Johnson and the Morbidly Obese Man dropping their partnership with Q!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing staggering back to his feet, but 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson has him! Tosses him almost all the way across the ring! TMOM grabs Q...and he goes over the ropes!"

Brad Blood: "Oh Q grabbed the ropes! He's trying to skin the cat!"

Jim Jackson: "But Johnson grabs Q in midmove! Drags Q over the ropes but Q flips loose! And he takes UJJ down with an armdrag! Goes for another armdrag, but UJJ turns it into a full nelson!"

Brad Blood: "He's got it locked on Q!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing struggling wildly to break loose! The Morbidly Obese Man goes after him, but Q use his legs to grab TMOM by the head! Q FLIPS OVER, SENDING BOTH MEMBERS OF MORBIDLY UNSTOPPABLE OFF THEIR FEET!"

Brad Blood: "Q somehow fighting them off! But Zombie rushes him and tackles him to the ground!"

Jim Jackson: "The Primo Ultimo Champion with a quick recovery! He's trying to bite Q! But UJJ yanks him off by the ankle! Johnson getting an anklelock on Zombie!"

Brad Blood: "ZOMBIE IS SCREAMING IN PAIN!"

Jim Jackson: "TMOM goes after Q! UJJ trying to force a tapout! Big chop by TMOM sends Q sprawling to the ropes! And now the Morbidly Obese Man helps Johnson doubleteam the Zombie!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie just blocked TMOM's kick! He's trying to put TMOM in an anklelock, while HE's in an anklelock himself!"

Jim Jackson: "But Morbidly Obese Man kicks him loose! Unfortunately that forced Johnson to let go!"

Brad Blood: "Q with a running DDT to Zombie!"

Jim Jackson: "He zeroed in right on Zombie! But that just exposes him to another Morbidly Unstoppable doubleteam! Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing being hammered by TMOM and UJJ!"

Brad Blood: "They send him running to the corner!"

Jim Jackson: "But Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing ducks the Morbidly Obese Man's avalanche! Lashes out and clips Johnson with a flying clothesline! Johnson quick to his feet, but Q with a running neckbreaker!"

Brad Blood: "TMOM misses!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing floats over behind the Morbidly Obese Man! AND DRILLS HIM TO THE MAT WITH A DDT!"

Brad Blood: "Dropkick to UJJ! Q's just going all-out here!"

Jim Jackson: "And Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing seizes the dazed Zombie from behind! But Zombie powers out of the grapple attempt! Zombie lifts Q over his head but Q falls harmlessly behind him! AND HE'S TRYING TO PULL DOWN HIS ZOMBIE'S PANTS!"

Brad Blood: "HE WANTS TO STICK SOMETHING UP ZOMBIE'S ASS AGAIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie knocks Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing to the mat! But Q kicks him in the chin! And UJJ grabs the distracted Zombie! DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!"

Brad Blood: "Q follows it up with a running splash!"

Jim Jackson: "But Johnson kicks him off Zombie before the ref can begin to count the pin! Q gets in Johnson's face, but Johnson punches him hard! He lifts Q up"

Brad Blood: "The masked man slips loose!"

Jim Jackson: "BUT JOHNSON CATCHES Q WITH THE JKO! JOHNSON REACTING QUICKLY TO Q'S COUNTER!"

Brad Blood: "Q's ripe for the pinning!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie already getting back up, but the Morbidly Obese Man surprises him! And TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVES THE PRIMO ULTIMO CHAMPION!"

Brad Blood: "He's going for the cover, but UJJ pulls him off Zombie!"

Jim Jackson: "Johnson's partner didn't like that! But UJJ quickly lashes out with big strikes! TMOM and UJJ trading blows!"

Brad Blood: "TMOM getting the upper hand no Johnson blocks! Goes for another JKO!"

Jim Jackson: "Johnson's shoved off! But he throws himself off the ropes to rock his partner with a big shoulder tackle! Johnson grabs"

Brad Blood: "The Morbidly Obese Man lifts Johnson on his shoulders! And drops him with a doctor bomb! Looks like he lulled UJJ into thinking he was dazed!"

Jim Jackson: "And TMOM GOING FOR THE COVER ON HIS TAG PARTNER!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie breaks the count!"

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man trying to cover up from Zombie's assault! Trying to keep Zombie from biting him! Zombie staggers him with a shot to the kidneys! Jumping facebuster to TMOM!"

Brad Blood: "The Morbidly Obese Man barely on his feet!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie clothesline TMOM's legs out from under him! He goes after the dazed Jack Johnson with a boot to the face! TURNS AROUND AND RUSHES AT TMOM WITH A DEADBUTT!"

Brad Blood: "That was a loud clanging of heads!"

Jim Jackson: "And now the Champ sees Q trying to get to his feet! Zombie's lurking behind Q!"

Brad Blood: "He's gonna have another sample of Q's people!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing BARELY ducks out of the way! Zombie trips and lands throat-first on the ropes!"

Brad Blood: "Q sees an opening! He's going for a tiger feint kick!"

Jim Jackson: "Johnson TOSSES Q over the ropes! Takes down Zombie with a clothesline! And another clothesline! Grabs Zombie for a big powerslam!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "UJJ...with a pumphandle powerslam!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Brad Blood: "And Zombie still won't stay down!"

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man and Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing are still out of it! Johnson has Zombie...and he's lifting Zombie over his head for the Impact Driver! But Zombie fights his way out of it! Zombie lands behiind UJJ but gets an elbow in the face! UJJ WITH THE JKO"

Brad Blood: "ZOMBIE THROWS JOHNSON OFF HIM, AND INTO THE MORBIDLY OBESE MAN!"

Jim Jackson: "He rolls up Johnson from behind!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "Kickout! The Morbidly Obese Man was getting to his feet, when UJJ accidentally crashed into him! Zombie with an eyepoke! Turns around and blasts the Morbidly Obese Man with a diving forearm to the face!"

Brad Blood: "TMOM struggling not to fall back down again!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie with another Deadbutt COUNTERED! THE MORBIDLY OBESE MAN CATCHES ZOMBIE BY THE THROAT FOR A CHOKESLAM!"

Brad Blood: "Q FIRES HIMSELF OFF THE ROPES FOR A FIREBIRD SPLASH ON ZOMBIE!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "Johnson and TMOM break the count! They grab Q, but Q fighting them off! Hard kicks send Johnson reeling! TMOM is struck by solid chops and punches!"

[color=orange]Brad Blood: "But the Morbidly Obese Man breaks Q's defense, and lifts him over his head

Jim Jackson: "BUT QUIOAECAOPEDIDWAZHAPZHING GRABS TMOM'S HEAD, AND USES HIS MOMENTUM FOR AN INVERTED DDT, BOUNCING TMOM'S HEAD OFF HIS KNEE!!"

Brad Blood: "Q pulling a lot of counters in his offense tonight!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing however has left himself exposed to Jack
Johnson! UJJ on the attack! And he blocks Q's strikes! Double arm suplex takes Q off his feet!"


Brad Blood: "And he goes for the pin!"

Jim Jackson: "Johnson interrupted by Zombie! Zombie stumbling about as he stomps away at UJJ! He grabs Johnson, but UJJ fights back! Johnson ducks a Zombie bite attack, and scoops up Zombie for a released German suplex!"

Brad Blood: "Q CRACKS JOHNSON IN THE HEAD WITH AN ENZIGUIRI!"

Jim Jackson: "Jack Johnson tumbles to the mat thanks to Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing! Q...he's staring at Zombie! Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing grabs the undead Primo Ultimo Champion
and drills him into the mat with a mighty crunch executing a devastating Ditwabiaosiahdiswehankiamma! HE JUST LAID HIM OUT!"


Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "NO NO NO THREE! THE MORBIDLY OBESE MAN PULLS Q OFF ZOMBIE! Q LASHES OUT, BUT TMOM FLATTENS HIM WITH A BIG URANAGE THAT SHAKES THE RING!"

Brad Blood: "The momentum just sent Q out of the ring!"

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man is groggy, but still on his feet! He sees Zombie flattened! He...he's setting up the Massive Sit Down!"

Brad Blood: "JOHNSON FROM BEHIND!"

Jim Jackson: "Jack Johnson shoves TMOM facefirst into the corner! He quickly dives onto Zombie for the cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "The Morbidly Obese Man stops the count! He didn't like what UJJ did one bit! Johnson and Morbidly Obese Man trading shots!"

Brad Blood: "Johnson getting the upper hand over his much bigger teammate!"

Jim Jackson: "UJJ with an Irish whip attempt, but TMOM reverses it to send UJJ into the corner! TMOM misses the avalanche! Johnson with a HUGE clothesline to take the Morbidly Obese Man off his feet!"

Brad Blood: "And UJJ throws himself into a groggy Zombie, crushing him in the corner!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie's listless on his feet! UJJ GOES FOR THE JKO"

Brad Blood: "Zombie shoves him off, and into a BIG boot from the Morbidly Obese Man!"

Jim Jackson: "DEADBUTT NAILS THE MORBIDLY OBESE MAN! ZOMBIE DROPS ON HIM FOR THE COVER!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of this match, and STILL the Primo Ultimo Champion, Zombie!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie retains! Zombie retains!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie's survived the challenge of Jack Johnson, Morbidly Obese Man and Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing! He ends tonight STILL the Primo Ultimo Champion!"

Brad Blood: "He was pretty much targeted by everybody for the majority of the match, but he still managed to outlast them all to keep the title! Jack Johnson shaking off the effects of TMOM;s kick to the face, and he's just found out who won the match! He don't look very happy about it!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie continues his reigns as the top dog in ULOL! Undead or otherwise!"

Brad Blood: "Q's leaving with the Primo Ultimo title!"

Jim Jackson: "What?"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is indeed leaving with ULOL's most important championship. He is already about to return to the back when Zombie notices that his belt is missing.

Jim Jackson: "Where's he going with the title? Zombie rushes out after him! But Q's got too much of a head start!"

Zombie staggers after Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. But smoke unexpectedly begins to form along the aisle. Only moment after Q disappears from the stage, a man steps out, barring Zombie's way.

Brad Blood: "It's Chriso!"

Zombie glares angrily at Chriso, as puss dribbles steadily down his injured lip. Chriso is impassive as he coolly returns Zombie's raging stare.




Jim Jackson: "What a night... We had two great tournament matches, a great battle royale where Alexander Conway has stepped up to become the new number one contender for the ULOL Ligero Maximo, and the main event? Well even though Zombie won, Q ran away with the title..."

Brad Blood: "Wait we are receiving some word from our producers Jim... Something is about to happen in the parking lot... We are going to a live feed."

The ULOL Tron comes to life...

A masked man emerges at the parking lot, carrying with him the ULOL's flagship title. It is the championship he had fought for in the match he was just in.

The man is none other than the costumed crusader of the wrestling ring. He is the idol of millions, but known only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello! I promised to bring justice to my lovely and luscious people! And I give you this! This champion belt has been nothing but a symbol of the blood spilled by the champion of the ULOL and his formerly Ungeneral Manager! But despite of all the lives that have been lost because of this title, we still have people fighting for it!"

The masked wrestler walks up to a piece of machinery, strapped to the back of a truck.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I will not stand and have anyone fighting for ownership of something that has been tainted with so much blood! This one is going to the only place where it belongs!"

The machine is turned on. Without a moment's hesitation, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing inserts the Primo Ultimo title into the woodchipper. Shreds of metal and leather shoot out from the machine just moments later.

Screen fades to black.


Jim Jackson: "Uh... Did Q just do what I think he did?"

Brad Blood: "Er... I guess we have again a beltless champ..."

Jim Jackson: "Indeed we do... Tune in next week folks to see how management deals with this issue... Until next Sunday, good night folks!"




Last edited by The Morbidly Obese Man on Sun May 15, 2011 6:18 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/15/2011   Sun May 15, 2011 3:13 pm

how come the conway/ferrer prematch promo came after the battle royale?
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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/15/2011   Sun May 15, 2011 6:14 pm

Ah sorry my bad. >_< Clicking edit button now.
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Lucha Loco 05/15/2011
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