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 Lucha Loco 05/01/2011

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The Morbidly Obese Man
The Morbidly Obese Man

Posts : 2990
Join date : 2008-12-29
Age : 43

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Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Empty
PostSubject: Lucha Loco 05/01/2011   Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 I_icon_minitimeSun May 01, 2011 10:30 am

This show is in tribute to Scott Logan. He burned brightly.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Luchal12

Jim Jackson: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen and a wonderful Labor Day to you all! The mood is somber tonight..."

Brad Blood: "Of course it is somber, we're working on a holiday! It's Labor Day and we're doing labor!"

Jim Jackson: "That is not what I meant Brad, the mood is somber tonight due to the shocking events that happened in the PPV. Our condolences to all of Scott Logan's family and friends."

Brad Blood: "Oh yeah! That also happened... Man that was screwed up... It was awesome but screwed up..."

Jim Jackson: "You're screwed up Brad but we already knew that. Anyway, as we try to move on after the tragedy that happened last week, we hope we can dedicate this show to the late Scott Logan. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Behind12

The camera pans out at the infirmary where we see Dr. Booboo B. Gone on the bed waiting for wrestlers in need of medical attention. Nurse Enema can be seen caressing a rectal bulb syringe whilst sitting down on the operation table.

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "It's been a quiet week. I'm so damn bored! I don't know how the hell these wrestlers manage to get hit by a brick, get shot by nerf guns and get bitten by zombies and not come to me! Damn! I feel so useless."

Emma Enema: "Relax."

Emma then stands and runs her syringe over the good doctor's body slowly. She goes lower then squeezes the doctor's posterior to the delight of the man.

Emma Enema: "I know what you mean doc. I too get frustrated. Me and my syringe have been seeking the warmth of a man's body."

The good doctor lets out a small grin. The two stare awkwardly at each other for a while. They slowly head towards each other. With each millimeter, tension grows stronger. The doctor takes a deep breath as he initiates his move. But before anything could happen, someone barges in the door. The two hastily separate trying to cover up what was taking place. They turn and see Tonelada in top physical form.

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Goddamnit! You're back?!?! Emma, have Bob install a new safe."

Emma Enema: "What for? Who is he anyway."

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Trust me, you wouldn't want to have this guy here without making sure ALL of the drugs are tightly secured. So, just get Bob okay? I have to hold him off for as long as possible."

The nurse leaves the room quickly. Tonelada sits down on the operating table and casually scratches his belly.

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "What do you want Ton? You seem capable of competing tonight. And surprisingly, you look sober but I highly doubt that."

Tonelada: "Come on, I'm just here to see my friend again. Did it even occur to you that I missed my good friend? I mean come on. I remember the last time I was signed here, I was always here having a conversation with you."

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Don't screw with me Ton. We all know your in it for the drugs. I mean you publicly showed your privates just to distract me whilst you were taking all the anabolic steroids only to sell them to a baby. You sold all my viagra to Herbert the octogenarian who loves kids a little too much. He ended up molesting fifty-eight children and sixteen fetuses before succumbing to flushing. Flushing Ton! He died due to flushing! WHO THE FUCK DIES DUE TO FLUSHING?!?! How many did you sell to that guy?!?! Goddamn Ton! His autopsy showed he had cancer, A(H1N1) fever, a deadly infection, meningococcemia and was shot forty-eight times in the head when he died yet it was determined he died of flushing! All the other shit had no affect on his death!!! Fuck man!"

Tonelada: "Damn! I don't remember any of those shit man!! It wasn't me man!"

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Go to hell you son-of-a-bitch!"

Tonelada: "Come on man. That hurt. You know I would never do such a thing. How could I? You were the only one that believed I could win a championship here in ULOL back then. That drove me and that led me to becoming the top dog. I wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize our friendship. Shit, I gotta go. Gotta prepare for my match."

Tonelada then slowly leaves with a sorrow look on his face. The doctor bites his lips as he sits down to think.

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Damn! I didn't mean to hurt the guy. I didn't know I meant a lot to him. Booboo, you're such an asshole!"

Nurse Emma Enema then returns to see the doctor in the middle of his thinking.

Emma Enema:"What happened? Did someone die or something?"

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "No, don't mind me."

Emma Enema: "Anyway, Bob told me the fed has a tight budget. They say Allster King has been spending all our money on booze while others blame Eunice Winslow. So, He said we can't afford to store our medicine in a safer place than here."

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Nah, forget it. I think we won't need to anyway."

Emma Enema: "Okay, whatever you say."

Suddenly, a medical staff arrives with a fan who is obviously in a world of pain.

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "What happened?"

Staff: "This woman says she is experiencing a severe headache."

Woman: "Help me please! I can't take it!"

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Nurse, get some paracetamol."

Emma Enema: "We're out. But we have some psilocybin mushrooms."

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "Okay, get them. Ma'am, you may experience some hallucinations with the medicine we will give you."

Woman: "I don't give a damn! Make the pain go away!"

Emma Enema: "They're gone!

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: "What?! Where did you leave them?!?!"

Emma Enema: "Here, on the operating table. I needed to dry them out and if I left them in the cabinet, they would moisten up."

Woman: "FUCK!! HELP ME!!"

Dr. Booboo B. Gone: On the operating table?!?! TONELADA!!"

The camera then fades to black as the doctor and the patient scream simultaneously.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Behind10

The scene opens to a relatively well lit hallway. Most people might notice Andrew Hunter walking toward the camera from the other end of the hall. But for those who don't: Andrew Hunter is at the other end of the hall, walking slowly, lightly toward the camera. He's wearing his full wrestling attire . He stops abruptly in front of the camera nodding as he prepares to speak.

Andrew Hunter: "Well, as you can plainly see; I'm here. Yes, and I have a match too."

He chuckles slightly and looks past the camera man.

Andrew Hunter: "Oh, I still have some time 'til my match."

He redirects his gaze back to the lense.

Andrew Hunter: "As you can probably tell, I got my job back. Heh, not to mention a match and some more camera time. Quite joyous, except that I'm probably the least of anyone's concerns. I mean, Alexander Conway almost became zombie food. Apparently Stephanie Dawson is a guy named Stephen, which makes me glad I always go for the camera time. Of course, that probably makes Stank Lord happy, if you know what I mean. Not to mention four men just got shot in the head with a nerf gun. And some kind of crazy man is running around, strapping people to burning crosses!"

He lets out a slight sigh, followed by a small chuckle.

Andrew Hunter: "Hey, some things never change, eh? On that note, I believe I should get going. After all, my match is next."

Andrew easily slips by the camera man's sides. The shot makes a complete turn around, catching Andrew's back as he's walking away, the shot slowly fading to black.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Behind12

The scene opens with Stank Lord and Stephen Dawson in the locker room and Stank Lord began speaking.

Stank Lord: "So it turns out you're a gay boy name Stephen Dawson, we all thought you were a girl!"

Stephen Dawson: "And your point is?"

Stank Lord: "There is no point, you better just make sure you don't pull anything funny or else."

Stephen Dawson: "Or else?"

Stank Lord: "You don't want to know!"

Stephen comes very close to Stank Lord going to hug him. But instead Stank Lord grabs a hold of his shirt and lifts him up in the air, bringing him close to himself.

Stank Lord: "Don't you even think about doing so! I'm going to give you 5 warnings, after those 5 warnings.... Your going to be experiencing some of the worst things ever you could imagine, now let me give you this first warning."

Stank Lord burps in his mouth, then he opens it amd breathes out the burp towards Stephen's face making it go up his nostrils, burning his nose hairs and brain.

Stank Lord: "This is warning number one, pull anything else funny and you will reserve a second warning and it will be something much worse."

He finishes as he lets go of Stephen Dawson who falls to the floor.

The camera fades away.

It took only a moment for someone to find the light switch.

The newcomer is wordless as he looks at the scene in front of him, even as the Stank Lord stares at the axe he is carrying.

Stank Lord's crotch hangs like an oppressive sun over the prone and swooning form of Stephen Dawson. Stephen has his hand palm-up across his forehead, while his other hand clutches at his chest, as if trying to stop his heart from beating too fast.

This is the sight that greets the eyes of the masked marvel of the wrestling ring. The icon known to millions only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "As if it was not enough that you had to molest the Brostar! His brother! And Brandon Cavo! I hear funny noises in the dark, but instead of finding that zombie, I find you with your new meat! I see you standing over him, ready to lube him up for your grunting and groaning, pumping and orgasming!"

The masked man points his axe at the still swooning Stephen.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I have seen this movie before! First there is the hostility! Then there's the dramedy! Then there's the curiosity! Then there's the 18-man orgy! You will have your face in Stephen's crotch, trying to make him melt in your mouth! And then once more we will find your used condoms in the shower room! In the cafeteria! In the parking lot! In the lobby! And maybe even in that zombie's pocket!"

Stephen cannot help but moan.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I can see it now! You will do to Stephen what you did to the Shadow! I remember how Bob talked about the time he saw you pulling the Shadow's fleshy wrinkled crank! While making him watch your collection of Inbred, Young, Dumb and Full of Cum! Starring the Brostar!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing turns to leave, still toting his axe.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Now I have to go back and hunt that zombie!"

He turns off the light, plunging the scene back into black.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Andrew10VSLucha Loco 05/01/2011 Stankl10

VSLucha Loco 05/01/2011 Tonela10

Jim Jackson: "Welcome folks to the first match of the evening. We'll be kicking things off with a triangle match between the returning Andrew Hunter, Stank Lord and Tonelada."

Brad Blood: "I'm rooting for Tonelada on this one, I heard he's giving out free roofies and I need to pick up some chicks since gayness have been spreading in this fed ever since the arrival of Boy Bakla."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a triangle match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Andrew Hunter!"

"New Divide" by Linkin Park blasts through the arena. Andrew Hunter appears on the top of the ramp, straightening out his elbow pads. He cracks a grin as he begins walking down the ramp. He slaps the hands of the fans on his left, followed by the fans on his right, seeming to enjoy the spotlight. He slides underneath the ropes and quickly bounces back up, jumping up on a turnbuckle and staring into the audience.

Jim Jackson: "Andrew Hunter has the odds stacked against him tonight as he faces two heavyweights in the ring. Will his superior speed be enough to get him the win?"

Brad Blood: "Pretty bad luck facing two big men on his return match..."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Stank Lord!"

"This Stinks" plays as Stank Lord appears on stage he looks around him then walks down the ramp and into the ring, he poses for the fans as he waits for his opponent.

Jim Jackson: "And here comes Stank Lord making his way down the ramp. It became S.O.P. for ULOL to issue out gas masks to the audience every time this guy has a fight."

Brad Blood: "It's bad enough that he stinks, now he also has a boy toy... Stephen Dawson."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing last, Tonelada!"

Sisquo's "Thong Song" blasts through the arena speakers as highlights of some of Tonelada's most daring police escapes are show on the titan tron. Tonelada then appears from backstage scratching his posterior. He then poses like an idiot putting his left hand between his shoulder blades and the other inside his pants. He then walks like an idiot to the ring. As he does so, live ostriches are pushed off the titan tron on to the merciless floor. Animal rights' activists start booing and pelting Tonelada with all sorts of food products. Tonelada, undeterred by the reaction, continues to the ring. He positions himself in the middle of the ring then once again poses like an idiot. Then, pornographic magazines shoot from the ring posts as pot float down from above. The crowd start to settle down as they grab the paraphernalia provided by Tonelada. The arena is then covered by smoke as moaning and sudden bursts of laughter is heard.

Jim Jackson: "And here is Tonelada who wreaked havoc everywhere he goes."

Brad Blood: "Havoc? He's just having fun Jim. C'mon pot and porno? What else could you ask for?"

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Andrew Hunter connects with a back heel kick on Tonman and gets back up quickly. Hunter hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Tonman pushes out of a Andrew Hunter hold. Hunter takes a hard, stinging chop from Tonman."

Brad Blood: "One word... Ow. Stank Lord is staying out of the way as the two other wrestler battles biding his time. Stank Lord hits a crappy missile dropkick on Tonman. Hooks the leg!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Kick out by Tonelada! But wait here's comes Hunter with a dropkick that sends Stank Lord flying to the ropes! Enzugiri takes Tonelada down! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD!"

Brad Blood: "Andrew Hunter turns around... Stank kicks Andrew Hunter in the gut to reverse the momentum. That stopped Hunter's offense."

Jim Jackson: "Kick out by Tonelada! But wait here's comes Hunter with a dropkick that sends Stank Lord flying to the ropes! Enzugiri takes Tonelada down! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD!"

Brad Blood: "Double team between Tonelada and Stank Lord... Tonman and Stank whip Hunter into the corner. Tonelada whips Stank Lord in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Oh! That flattened Hunter!"

Jim Jackson: "Tonelada with an enziguri takes Stank Lord down. There goes their temporary alliance. It's a wonder that a man of Tonelada's size can hit an enziguri so flawlessly. Stank Lord gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Tonelada."

Brad Blood: "Tonman is down! Stank Lord picks Tonelada up and sends him to the ropes... Stank Lord misses a clothesline by a country mile!"

Jim Jackson: "Tonman hits a spinning back kick but turns around to a waiting Hunter who hits a neckbreaker! Andrew Hunter hooks up a suplex, but Tonman flips out and lands on his feet. Stiff high kick on Tonman by Andrew Hunter."

Brad Blood: "Here comes Stank Lord charging in... Hunter sidesteps and spins out of Stank Lord's spear! Stank Lord hits Tonelada instead! Standing leg lariat by Andrew Hunter on Stank. Hunter is on fire! He goes to work on Tonelada."

Jim Jackson: "Hammerlock applied by Hunter on Tonelada... Tonman reverses a Andrew Hunter hammerlock. Tonman hits a flying kick on Hunter. Stank Lord with a hard right takes Tonelada down!"

Brad Blood: "Stank Lord goes high risk and climbs to the top turnbuckle! Flying elbow off the top rope by Stank Lord right to Hunter's ribcage! Stank Lord hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Wait Tonelada with the double axe handle disrupts the three count! Legsweep out of nowhere and Stank Lord goes down. Hunter shakes the cobwebs off... Hits a spinning side kick on Tonelada! Stank Lord gets up... Sprinboard hurracanrana by Hunter sends him flying!"

Brad Blood: "Tonelada hits Hunter with a clothesline to the back! Irish whip sends Hunter to the corner! Tonelada continues his attack on Hunter... He slams Hunter's head to the turnbuckles! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Hunter is swaying around like a drunk duck!"

Jim Jackson: "Stank Lord comes in with a drop kick... No! Tonelada sidesteps and Stank Lord hits Andrew Hunter instead sending him over the top rope to the outside! Tonelada hits a couple of rights to Stank Lord stunning him..."

Brad Blood: "Wait! Is that Stephen Dawson coming in with a steel chair?! Stephen hides beneath the ring apron waiting for the right moment to strike, he, she, it signals Stank Lord who sees the steel chair... Stank Lord with an Irish whip sends Tonman to the ropes... NO WAIT TONELADA REVERSES AND STANK LORD IS SEND TO THE ROPES!"


Jim Jackson: "Stephen hits the wrong man by mistake! He hits his own owner! Stank Lord staggers back right into Tonelada's arms... Tonelada approaches his fallen opponent and stuffs 45 lit sticks of grade A marijuana joints in the opponent's mouth causing the opponent to have a severe case of the munchies which leads to the opponent feeding on 1000kg of beans outside the ring which leads to arthritis leaving the opponent no choice but to tap out to the extreme pain executing a vicious The Joint!"


Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via submission, Tonelada!"

Jim Jackson: "Stephen Dawson tried to help his owner but ends up costing him the match instead."

Brad Blood: "I think Stank Lord will be pretty angry once he wakes up..."

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10
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The Morbidly Obese Man
The Morbidly Obese Man

Posts : 2990
Join date : 2008-12-29
Age : 43

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Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/01/2011   Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 I_icon_minitimeSun May 01, 2011 10:30 am

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Thesqu10

A Coyote Howl is heard throughout the arena as the entrance is covered in smoke. Godsmack's Whiskey Hangover begins to play as Allister king and Samantha Collins walk out onto the entrance ramp. They continue on down to the ring. Allister grabs a microphone.

Allister King: "I would like to take this opportunity to talk about something that has been bothering me lately. Last Sunday at the PPV, Something unbelievable, sickening and horrific happened."

Allister looks about.

Allister King: "Usually at this point, You expect me to show you the footage but I refuse. One of my friends, A man i have known most of my life was killed by a evil, disturbed man. Scott was burn alive on a crucifix at the end of the PPV."

Samantha grabs Allister's hand.

Allister King: "I, myself, couldn't do a single thing to help him. I was frozen with fear. Even as Sami was crying. I could barely move".

Allister rips his eyes.

Allister King: "But that man. The Son of a bitch! If I ever see him again. I will reign vengeance upon him."

"Hurt's Rapture" begins to blast through the PA system. A blinding light and smoke covers the entrance. The Mysterious Man makes his way out wearing a white expressionless mask and carrying a kendo stick. He looks up to the skies and raises his arms as 2 flaming crucifixes appear. He grabs a mic from backstage as he stands on the entrance ramp.

??: "Al...lis..ter! Remember me? Or better yet remember this?"

The man points to the flaming crucifix.

??: "Oh where are my manners? I need to introduce myself to these people. Not like I need to explain it to you, Allister."

The Man removes the mask.

Shadow "The Mad Man" Callahan: "My Name is Shadow Calahan. The Beast of Blood, Death incarnate, a mad man or as you clearly stated, One evil son of a bitch."

Sami holds onto Allister in fear

Shadow "The Mad Man" Callahan: "I will answer 2 questions for ya King. But choose wisely."

Allister King: "Why the hell did ya do it? Why did ya kill Scott?"

Shadow "The Mad Man" Callahan: "Why? Because I felt like it haha. I needed to make my presence known so he was a sacrifice, a scapegoat. Also I killed him as a message to you."

Allister looks shocked

Shadow "The Mad Man" Callahan: "Yes, You think you are the master, running around here like a drunk fool. But let me tell you and all these people. I TRAINED YOU!! You will always be the pupil and I, the master. What? Thought I forgot? You stupid naive piece of shit. You're still weak. You have your wife control you like a puppet. Now ask your second question."

Allister looks at Sami

Allister King: "How the hell did you get in this building?"

Shadow "The Mad Man" Callahan: "Oh No! Didn't you know? Seems you don't run things, the way they should. I work here."

Allister King: "What? That's not true!"

Shadow "The Mad Man" Callahan: "Yeah it is. I was hired by that bitch Winslow. So what? You gonna do something about it or am I going to have to butcher your wife like I did Scott?"

Allister drops the mic and moves Sami away. He then runs out of the ring and runs towards Shadow. Shadow hits Allister with the kendo stick causing him to fall. Shadow continues to beat Allister until security comes and moves him away. Shadow grabs the mic.

Shadow "The Mad Man" Callahan: "Hey Allister! Until your rapture falls to piece. You will never beat me!"

Shadow is escorted out as Samantha and a few security attend to Allister.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Behind10

Walking through the halls of the ULOL arena can be seen a new face..... well a shadow of a face at least.

Pushing open the door to the locker room this new addition to the roster drops a bag of personals on the floor and looks about the room. Eyeing up each wrestler one by one, thne moving over to Allister King, he looks him straight in the eyes......

Missing Linc: "You sent for me and I have come, now where is my first opponent? I have a need to feed the darkness inside of me and that need must be fullfilled soon or there is no telling what might happen to this half hazard bunch that I see before me....."

Missing Linc continues to eye up each wrestler trying to decide who he will feed to the darkness first.....

Missing Linc: "So whom will it be my friend, will I be having a match or will this be a good old fashioned locker room brawl that you and I both know I enjoy sooo much."

Looking at Allister he awaits an answer, growing impatient by the minute and visibly angered. A small bit of green slime begins to flow from Missing Linc's mouth.....

Allister stares at Missing Linc

Allister King: "Missing Linc, You haven't change at all it seems. Your still the neanderthal you have always been so i will give you it up straight. I am having a lot of personal problems going on at the moment so I will tell you this. You will be having a match but I will not tell you who your opponent will be."

Allister taps Linc on the shoulder

Allister King: "Don't worry, I'm sure you can handle it."

Allister lights up a cigarette and begins to walk away

Allister King: "Have fun in your match."

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Behind12

Yuki Monotomo is in blue jeans and a grey tee-shirt. His mask is still on, like always. He punches the locker in front of him.


He kicks the locker door in and continues ranting. He paces in front of the bench as he rants.


He knocks over his ring attire on the bench beside him. The new superstar begins to pace again.


Yuki stops and takes a deep breath. He sits down.

Yuki Monotomo: "Every time. Every time something good happens."

He shakes his head in his hands before punching the bench.

Yuki Monotomo: "This time I'm staying in one place! I'll take whatever test they want! Drug, STD, STI, HIV, blood, urine, I don't care! I'll pass them all!"

Yuki stands to leave and talk with Allister King.

Yuki Monotomo: "Maybe Mr. King can set something up."

The scene fades to black.

The screen is black and Yuki has left the room. and a voice can be heard.


Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Thesqu10

Creeping Death by Metallica plays and the new ULOL Primo Ultimo champion Zombie appears at the top of the ramp. Charred and injured from the brutal attack executed by the powerful tag team of Morbidly Unstoppable he slowly makes his way down the ramp. He is met with loud boos as he raises his championship belt up in the air. His abdominal area is rather bloated and is twice its normal size. He enters the ring and holds his new ULOL Primo Ultimo championship belt in the air once again. He grabs a microphone and begins to speak.

Zombie: "I’m going to start by NOT bragging about how I deserve this title. This IS... MY title! I beat back five other wrestlers! FIVE! Not one could accomplish what they set out to do …"

Zombie thinks back to Alexander Conway’s statement in tonight’s show. He looks directly into the camera.

Zombie: "Conway! You are not a champion! And never will you be again!

The crowd boos loudly and Zombie looks to the crowd to speak to them.

Zombie: "You boo me? I know you people don’t like Conway but you would rather someone who chickens out of a title defense because it is too much for him? I will be a good champion and take on all challengers! No matter what the stipulation!"

Zombie pauses for a moment as he rubs his bloated stomach.

Zombie: "So you people know I am not pregnant! But I celebrated my title win by slaughtering a whole secluded village of people! BUT! I have other matters to attend to other than my over-sized stomach … matters like Morbidly Unstoppable! I know I fell into that trap but I was wrecked after that match and I guess I just would’ve taken any help. It was stupid of me and I shall not make that mistake ever again! But so you two know, I will take care of BOTH of you! HELL you two want this title so bad … maybe both of you should have a shot at it at the same time!!"

The crowd cheers at hearing this and Zombie is taken aback by them.

Zombie: "I’d destroy both of them! After they destroy themselves of course!"

The crowd reverts back to booing him and Zombie smiles snidely.

Zombie: "And last of all … Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. What happened? You bring a gun to the fight? You of all people should know better! A man of your stature deserves a title shot! But unfortunately for you … you lost your chance! And good for it! Maybe you should start worrying about yourself and less about your people!"


The humongous mass of flubber known as The Morbidly Obese Man comes out from the back and stops at the top of the entrance ramp with a mic in hand.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "My my my, someone got a little confident after winning in a match that was designed specifically to give him the advantage. So you think you can take one both me and my partner Zombie? Well tell you what you're on, but of course I don't want you to make any excuses that you still haven't fully recovered that's why you lost to us so I tell you what, me and Johnson will wait until the 15th of May to fight you. That will give you ample time to regenerate from crispy charred back to your normal rotting carcass self."

The big man pauses as he hears the crowd cheers.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "While it is true that both me and Johnson are power hungry and that both of us do want that title you are now TEMPORARILY holding, you seem to underestimate us. If you think our partnership will implode when we fight for that title, then you are dead wrong. Against all odds, we have somehow kept our partnership intact surprising not only our critics but ourselves. You see me and my partner both agree on one thing, that the Primo Ultimo title should first be taken off your hands. It doesn't matter if I or Johnson wins it first, so you better be prepared Zombie, two weeks from now, Morbidly Unstoppable shall go through you and make sure you are nothing but a smear on the canvas when we are done."

The big man stares down unto Zombie's eyes, clearly not intimidated by the newly crowned Primo Ultimo.

The sound of static distracts both the zombie and the fat man. The big screen flickers, with the image of Zombie in the ring replaced by something right out of the countryside. The first bloom of spring is already adding colors to the rows of cottages that are seen onscreen. A faint, light trail of smoke wafts out of one cottage's chimney, perhaps someone cooking lunch.

The lines of police tape that are set up across several cottages is the first sign that something is amiss. It does not take very long before police cars and ambulances are seen. Several men pass by, carrying gurneys that are fully covered.

Reporter: "This hamlet is one of several that are found in the more remote parts of the Swiss Alps. Here, we can still find the traditional Swiss way of life, framed against the beauty of these mountains. The way of life for this hamlet has been shattered by the horrific arrival of something that can only be described as unholy."

A clip plays, showing the reporter talking to the police in charge of the investigation.

Police: "At around 10:46AM, a creature attacked the village. We estimate so far about 24 dead, with another 6 missing. We have sent hunting dogs and SWAT teams after the monster, and hope to track it down before it attacks any more hamlets."

The clip ends. We see the reporter interviewing an old man, who has a child huddled in his lap. The child's eyes stare blankly into the distance.

Reporter: [Sir, you are one of the survivors. Can you tell us what happened?]

The old man wipes tears from his eyes, all the while hugging the child with seemingly all his might.

Old Man: [Little Fritz and his cousin were in yodeling class. They have been getting ready for the big yodeling tournament of Schwyz. We have a good chance this year of finally winning it from those bastard watchmakers on the other side of the mountain.]

The grandfather chokes back a sob, trying to keep coherent under his grief.

Old Man: [Fritz and the others were practicing their yo-de-le-heeeeeeeeees and gof-uckyos-elves.....and then the monster.....they were only children! How will I tell Ulf that his daughters are no more! Who.....who is going to help the Hausers milk their cows now?]

Reporter: [Sir, were any of your villagers able to slow the monster down?]

The old man shakes his head.

Old Man: [This is Switzerland! We have no army! They're all in Rome guarding the Pope and studying strange things like men's fashion! For all I know, that thing could be on the other side of the mountain, eating those bastard watchmakers.....what are we going to do? What are we doing to do?]

The reporter is visibly moved. He pats the sobbing old man on the shoulder, trying to offer whatever shred of condolences he can muster.

Reporter: [We want to show you something, sir. Is this the creature who came to your hamlet?]

Both the old man and his grandson look at the picture in the reporter's hand. The child recoils in horror, as he and his grandfather scream as one.

Old Man: [HIM! IT'S HIM! IT'S MY HEART! MY hearrrt.....]

Reporter: [Uhhh...medic! Help!]

People quickly move to tend to the old man, twitching feebly on the ground, while his eyes roll into the back of his head. The newsclip ends, and a man comes out, to the humongous cheers of the fans.

He is none other than the globetrotting grappler of the ring. He is the masked maven known as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

He walks right past the Morbidly Obese Man, stopping right at the end of the aisle as it opens up to ringside. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing stares at the zombie as he speaks.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It wasn't enough that you're gainfully employed and actually getting royalties from the ULOL! You're getting frequent flyer miles on a world tour of terror! What did those Swiss do to you! Did you get a bad serving of Swiss cheese with your newborn baby back ribs!"

The masked man turns around, raising his axe at the man mountain still standing at the stage.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "The belt this Unfriend of humanity has is a symbol of all that's gone wrong with the ULOL! And you still want it! I would not be surprised if carbon copy Primo comes out to talk about it!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's voice unexpectedly changes, as does his gait.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Once again, all someone needs to do to get a title shot is to beat down the champion. All this, while the Demonic God has to jump hoops to get the title match he deserves. I had to join in a golden ticket match, where my wrestling talents were never even a factor in how I did in the match. That's the only reason why Musashi now has a title shot. But I am going to make up for that, by tearing in half Manolo's flunky, Arnold Bold, for DARING to think he can beat the Demonic God. In case I haven't made it clear yet, the only title that matters to me isn't the one that lightweight Blackheart has, or some tag gold. The only title that matters to the Demonic God is the one with his face on it:"

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Eddie_10

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "But now that Primo Ultimo stands for horrors Shogun can only dream of doing! The mountainous mass of manboobs behind me might want that title for his collection! But the only place where it belongs is on this Unfriend of my people! And the only place where HE belongs to is in an incinerator!"

Zombie looks at Q unsurprised at his appearance. He licks his lips constantly trying to stop saliva from escaping his undead mouth. He tries to avert his attention away from the footage of the people left in the Swiss village.

Zombie: "Damn that footage brought back some good memories! And now you've made me hungry for some more! The Swiss are an acquired taste and I had to celebrate in style just like anyone else would!"

Zombie looks on at The Morbidly Obese Man.

Zombie: "Everyone wants to make sure I'm a splatter on the floor or putting me back in the ground where I belong or even in Q's case that I'm burnt to a crisp. But none of you seem to actually accomplish whatever it is that you want to do. As I have said to you Morbidly Obese ... I will destroy you both! I'll take you ALL down in two weeks time! Now that I'm Primo Ultimo champion ... I feel better than I ever have and NO ONE will stop me now!!"

Zombie laughs loudly causing the crowd to boo loudly.

"Simply Unstoppable [Rock Remix]" by Tinie Tempah starts blaring over the arena. After a few seconds, "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson appears from behind the curtain with a mic in hand. He stops next to his tag team partner as the music fades,

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Woah, woah, woah! Am I hearing this right? No one can stop you now? Sounds like something I should be saying. You are terribly mistaken Zombie. You see if anyone out of the four of us stand a chance of walking out here the Primo Ultimo Champion in two weeks then it's me."

UJJ smirks as he looks at the burnt Primo Ultimo Champion. UJJ then turns his attention to Q as he walks down the ramp.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Q, all it's been with you is My people this and my people that! Yet you have done nothing! Nothing to avenge those that have eventually fallen into Zombie's lavatory. You have seemingly 'tried' to attack Zombie yet he is still here. Hell, he's even Primo Ultimo Champion. See it it were the great people of Calgary that were being attacked and eaten, I can guarantee that Zombie would NOT be standing in that very ring. So instead of waving that big and somewhat scary axe around why not try entering the ring and hitting him!"

UJJ shakes his head as he enters the ring. Some boos can be heard.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Zombie, like I said earlier this evening. I could have cost you the Primo Ultimo title. But I want you to experience the pain, the suffering that you have been deserving for so long. You cannot run away like you have from Q. Because you are a champion now. Which means you have to stay and take it like a bitch! Or that precious title that you hold will no longer belong to you."

UJJ walks around the ring not taking his eyes of the undead champion.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I will take that title away from you Zombie. 2 weeks time. Zombie vs Q vs The Morbidly Obese Man vs 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson. Clash of the real titans in ULOL. No Taufik's no Shogun's no Conway's. When the dust finally settles and the smoke clears it'll be me standing with my arms raised."

UJJ lowers the microphone. He looks at all the competitors.

Suddenly the arena lights start flickering wildly on and off. Sparks fly as the bulbs from the arena lights explode.

Suddenly the titantron springs to life as a pair of eyes flash very briefly on the screen.

Zombie stares at the screen in disbelief

Suddenly a low, cold creepy voice rings through the arena.

Unknown: "Zooooombie..... Do you Remember me?..........
I certainly haven't forgotten you........"

There is a long pause as Zombie's eyes widen in horror

The arena goes back to normal

Brad Blood: "What the fuuuuuck?"

Jim Jackson: "Who could that be? I have never seen Zombie look like that before!!!"

Zombie curses under his breath looking down at the ring floor. He looks at the other wrestlers who all seem to be taken aback by the sudden occurrence. It seems only Zombie knew what had caused the sudden poltergeist type activity. He drops the microphone to the floor and walks past Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson exiting the ring. He starts to walk up the ramp and stops when he meets The Morbidly Obese Man who remain in his way. He looks at all the other wrestlers with a depressed look on his face. Obviously whatever caused the sudden intrusion to their conversation has spooked Zombie.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Allist11

Yuki Monotomo cautiously opens the door to ULOL General Manager Allister King's office. He stands in the door, looking around and begins to speak, once fixated on Allister.

Yuki Monotomo: "Mr. King? Could you arrange it so I can have an... everything test? I wanna prove that the DWMA is made of good people because of what the Age of Pain said. I wanna show all of our fans and our other wrestlers that I'm a good person and I've never done anything but drink."

Yuki straightens up and breathes out slowly, sounding louder, he continues to speak after leaning in the doorway.

Yuki Monotomo: "So, Mr. King, could you make it so that I can have those tests and if possible, the entire DMWA, or even the entire ULOL? I think it would be a good idea to have mandatory screenings. I'll even pay for mine out of pocket if I have to."

Yuki looks at Allister King and waits for a response.

Allister looks at Yuki

Allister King: "Mandatory screenings? Ahh I don't think that's a good idea. I mean some people would obviously fail that. But if its only for the DMWA I don't see why not. Or we can do something like quiz show. You know an intellectual test but we will discuss that at a later date."

Allister looks at documents on his desk

Allister King: "I guess we could give you and our comrades that test next week. So yeah, piss into a cup for practice and good luck."

Scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10
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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/01/2011   Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 I_icon_minitimeSun May 01, 2011 10:32 am

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Aj10VSLucha Loco 05/01/2011 Missin10

VSLucha Loco 05/01/2011 Yukimo10

Jim Jackson: "The next match will feature three new bloods in ULOL. We have AJ, Missing Linc and Yuki Monotomo coming in, which of these three rookies in ULOL will be the one to shine tonight?"

Brad Blood: "My bet is on Missing Linc since he looks bad-ass!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a three-way elimination match! Introducing first, AJ!"

"Tears Don't Fall" by Bullet For My Valentine starts blaring over the arena. After a few seconds AJ bursts out of the tunnel. He stops at the edge of the stage and looks at the arena. He smiles and walks down the ramp. He climbs the apron and then climbs the turnbuckle. He raises his arm up high to the fans,m who respond with cheers. AJ climbs down and enters the ring.

Jim Jackson: "AJ is one of ULOL's newest acquisition, he recently just made his debut and tonight we will see if he has what it takes to play with the big boys. He is a well rounded wrestler..."

Brad Blood: "Well rounded means you are a jack of all trades and master of none. He's gonna get a pummeling..."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Missing Linc!"

Jim Jackson: "Hmm... It seems like Missing Linc is... Missing..."

Brad Blood: "Well he was seen earlier tonight... I wonder where he... There he is! He was hiding under the ring the whole time... He sneaks into the ring with a baseball bat..."


Jim Jackson: "Missing Linc just hit AJ on the back of the head with the baseball bat! AJ is down on the canvas! Missing Linc raises the bat..."


Brad Blood: "Oh man! That may have cracked a few ribs! Missing Linc is destroying one of his opponent even before the match begun... Wait look who's rushing in... It's Yuki Monotomo! Yuki is also booked to fight Missing Linc tonight... Linc swings the bat..."

Jim Jackson: "Yuki Monotomo ducks under it and starts throwing vicious rights stunning Linc! Monotomo is sending Linc back to the ropes... Wait! Linc blocks his punch and counters with a European uppercut! Missing Linc starts to hit back this time it's Yuki Monotomo who is being sent back..."

Brad Blood: "Monotomo is on the ropes... Hard standing clothesline by Linc sends Yuki Monotomo over! Missing Linc exits the ring and both wrestlers start brawling... The match hasn't even begun and we've already seen great action..."

Jim Jackson: "AJ is starting to stir. Looks like he is favoring his ribs a little... He sees both men brawling outside the ring... AJ despite his injury runs towards the direction of the two men... HE LEAPS OVER THE ROPES IN A CORKSCREW!!!"

Brad Blood: "AND HITS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! Monotomo and Linc parted like the Red Sea and AJ went splat! Yuki Monotomo and Missing Linc resume their fight."

Jim Jackson: "The referee has ran in and tries to re-establish order... HE gets shoved away by both Monotomo and Linc! The referee is calling for the bell!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following match has been declared a no contest!"

Brad Blood: "Looks like the fans ain't happy with the decision... Missing Linc and Yuki Monotomo don't seem to mind as they continue brawling..."

Jim Jackson: "Security has run to ringside and finally separated the two wrestlers... EMTs also rush to the scene and shake their heads at an unconscious AJ who is still knocked out after his failed attempt for a corkscrew splash before beginning to treat him..."

Brad Blood: "Monotomo and Linc seem to be exchanging some non-PG words as they are being led to the back by security... We may see a round two between these two guys next..."

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10




Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Dietwa10

Available in stores everywhere.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Behind12

Manolo Ferrer is seen approaching a door. The crowd reacts when they see the door has a DWMA sign.

He reaches for the doorknob, when he notices someone walk up to him.

Lex Lexington: "Hi! Manolo Ferrer, I am Lex Lexington, the new ULOL interviewer. Nice to meet you!"

Mr. Ferrer raises an eyebrow at the newcomer, before shaking hand.

Manolo Ferrer: "Nice to meet you. Welcome to ULOL. Would you be able to wait a moment? I need to..."

The manager's sentence trails off, as he gives the door a sideward glance. He shifts away from pointing at the DWMA's locker room, instead waving his finger to stress something else.

Manolo Ferrer: "Since you're here and the camera's on, I got something to say. In one week's time, the men in this locker room will be competing in a tag team match. They win, they build their case to getting to challenge my clients for the Campeones Companero. Their opponents get to do the same thing if they win."

Mr. Ferrer points to the DWMA locker room.

Manolo Ferrer: "I don't care who wins: the DWMA or their upcoming opponents, Oriental Spices. But, I want to make sure these teams are prepared for their match. That's why you're standing outside the DWMA's door, to give them this."

The manager of the Age of Pain gives Lexington a pail, full of ice and energy drinks.

WATERBOY is prominently stenciled onto the pail.

Manolo Ferrer: "The drinks are in mint green tea flavor for Oriental Spices. Mr. Ray Kamaura should personally receive this. He'll know what to do with it."

Manolo Ferrer shakes the newcomer's hand, then leaves the scene. Lex Lexington calls after him, but is clearly left on his own. He looks at the camera in confusion.

Lex Lexington: "I...what harm can it do, right?"

He eagerly knocks on the door of the DWMA, with the WATERBOY pail in hand.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Vehicu10

A tall man who could easily be mistaken as a bodybuilder is walking away from a Koenigsegg CCX towards the ULOL building.

?: "This is the United League of Lunatics? The quality of the building mirrors the quality of the matches....appropriate, I suppose."

All of a sudden the man stops with a peculiar look on his face. He walks over to a dumpstar that legs are hanging out of, reaches in, and pulls out a dirty kid who is holding a large top hat filed with random things out of the dumpster.

Kid: "Wot the bloody 'ell do ye fink y're doing?! Let me go you tosser!"

?: "Who are you?"

Kid: "Oi, I'm da chimney sweep."

A moment of silence passes.

?: "This place has a chimney?"

Chimney Sweep: "Nope."

?: "Then what are you doing here?"

Chimney Sweep: "Wot's it look like I'm do'in; Guv'nor?"

?: "Ok, I'm sick of you."

The man drops the Chimney Sweep to the ground.

Chimney Sweep: "Oi! Wot did you do that fore?!"

The man turns and begins walking to the door of the ULOL. The Chimney Sweep puts on his hat and grabs his broom before running after him.

Chimney Sweep: "Oi! 'ave you got somefing t'eat?"

The man stops and looks at the Chimney Sweep.

?: "No."

Chimney Sweep: "Sum' bloke wif aids took off wif all my savings an' now I'm 'aving to start over from the scratch."

?: ".....that's uh...too bad."

The man starts to walk away again, but before he gets far, the Chimney Sweep grabs his wallet and keys out of his pocket.

Chimney Sweep: "Thanks Guv'nor!"

The Chimney Sweep quickly runs past the man and into the ULOL building. The man is right on his tail, but once he enters the building, he doesn't see the Chimney Sweep.

?: "Now where did that British punk go? It's inappropriate to run."

The Chimney Sweep's voice can be heard from behind a nearby door.

Chimney Sweep: "I'm more int' being inappropriately alive!"

The man swings open the door to see the Chimney Sweep lighting a cigarette.

Chimney Sweep: "Oi!"

?: "I've got you now you little-"

Chimney Sweep: "British-ninja Vanish!"

The Chimney Sweep slams his broom into the ground, sending out a puff of dust. The sound of coughing, a bunch of footsteps, some things falling over, and the door slamming are all that the audience can pay attention to until the dust settles. The cameraman is still in the room along with the man, but the Chimney Sweep is nowhere to be seen.

?: "Oh...he's gone...damn it..."

The Man exits the room and goes into the hallway. He notices another guy watching him, and figures he had to have seen The Chimney Sweep exit the room.

?: "You! You had to have seen the Chimney Sweep exit the room!"

Upon the camera's closer examination, the watcher is none other than Alexander Conway.

Alexander Conway: "Uhh....Who?"

?: "The Chimney Sweep! He's a dirty British kid with a top hat and a broom!"

Alexander Conway: "Sir, are you high? There are no dirty British kids running around this arena....well, unless of course, The British Hawk is playing dress-up."

?: "I know what I saw!"

The Man looks at Alexander for a few seconds.

?: "Hey, aren't you Alexander Conway?"

Alexander: "Yes. I take it you are a wrestler as well?"

?: "Not just any wrestler! I'm the next Primo Ultimo Champion!"

Alexander lets out a short laugh.

Alexander Conway: "Surrreeee you are. That's what everyone says."

The man moves closer to Alexander.

?: "Are you calling me a liar?"

Alexander smirks at the man.

Alexander Conway: "Does it really make a difference?"

Alexander leans to the right and looks past the man.

Alexander Conway: "Someone's car is being jacked by a dirty British Chimney Sweep."

The man turns around and takes a look.

?: "Oh hey, that's him. And that's my car....wait, that's my car!"

The Man runs out of the building as the car speeds off. He looks frustrated, but soon shrugs his shoulders.

?: "Oh well, looks like I'll have to call for another one to be brought here."

The Man picks something up off of the ground.

?: "Well at least he left me my wallet."

The scene fades as the man begins to walk back to the building.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Behind10

Lex Lexington is new to the ULOL, and he is ready to prove he can score the juicy soundbites the fans expect him to get. The man spent much of his first week poring over the orientation materials his supervisors have given him, like notes on the work schedule, how to interview certain people, how to promote the ULOL brand as a member of the on-air staff, among other things.

Lex sees a likely interview subject come back from the ring. The person appears agitated, even when he is wearing a wrestling mask. Lex hears the roar of the fans as he gets ready to ask questions from the costumed crusader of the ring, the man known only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Lex Lexington: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing, can I have a moment of your time please?"

Numerous reporters unexpectedly appear, pushing Lex aside as they pepper Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing with a chorus of questions about his latest confrontation with the zombie who has become the bane of his people. The masked wrestler hastily waves his hands, asking everyone to be silent so he can say what is on his mind.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "One thing at a time! I would like to have a moment to talk about UJJ! The Unstoppable thinks he knows what he's talking about when he talks about the struggles of my people! HE LOST TO A BASKET OF KITTIES! CUTE! CUDDLY! HELPLESS! KITTIES!"

Several cameras flash, as the assembled reporters take pictures of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "That undead sack of excrement mocks my humble people's grief with each step he takes! The ULOL keeps him on the air! As long as this atrocity walks the earth and they make merchandise of him to sell, I will not stop doing the right thing to heal the pain of my people!"

Reporter: [Can you tell us about your match tonight with Boy Bakla?]

That question from his countryman seems to catch Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing by surprise.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: [It has been a long time since I have been in the same company as that wrestling tranny! Boy Bakla was a stalwart ally once! Maybe one day we can be allies again! But tonight, it will be a slightly different story!]

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing makes his way further backstage. The reporters are quick to follow the international icon, continuing to ask him questions.

Lex Lexington is left all alone, staring at the media circus that so quickly shoved him aside.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Behind12

Sitting inside it's locker room is the hunch form of ULOL's transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla as it nurses the side of it's face with an ice bag. Noticeably Bakla's face is swollen and purple from being hit by a brick in a bag in it's match with Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow just a week before.

A rapping sound is then heard coming from the other side of the door. Bakla shifts it's eyes to the door realizing it is someone knocking.

Boy Bakla: "Come inth... Ith openth..."

Bakla winces as it talked out loud, moving it's lips and jaws still bring stabs of pain which also is responsible for the gay wrestler to pronounce words with a lisp.

The door opens and a dashing young man in a tan coat comes in with a camera crew.

Lex Lexington: "Good Evening Mister... Or should I say Miss Bakla, my name is Lex Lexington and I am ULOL's new backstage interviewer. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions..."

Boy Bakla nods as it stares at the fine specimen of a man standing before him.

Lex Lexington: "First of all, thank you for your time Mister... Er Miss Bakla, I know that you are still suffering from the fallout of your match with our vice-general manager Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow..."

Boy Bakla: "Pleath don'th menthion thath bitch's name. That sneaky olth hag. I beth you wanth to ask how I am feelinth right nowth and whath are my planths, am I correcth?"

Lex Lexington nods in affirmation.

Boy Bakla: "Certainly I mayth thake a smallth breakth to recover... I meanth how can I face my fansth with my face like thisth? I thell you whath though, thath oldth hag does have my respecth for being sneaky, buth even ifth she hasth my respecth, she doesn'th have my love! Don'th you worry, I shall noth be puth down by thisth... I will heal upth and then I will rethurn sthronger and more beauthiful. Now I am thorry for cutthing this intherview thort buth I still need to resth up for my mathch lather with Q."

Lex Lexington nods and thanks Bakla...

Lex Lexington: "Thank you for your time then, I shall bother you no longer. Hope you recover soon."

Lex Lexington shakes Boy Bakla's hand and proceeds to exit but Bakla doesn't let go of his hand.

Boy Bakla: "Y'know, I may recover fasther ifth you are here with me... You're my thype..."

Lexington takes a big gulp, wrenches his hand free and runs away once he is out of view of the camera as the scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10
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The Morbidly Obese Man
The Morbidly Obese Man

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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/01/2011   Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 I_icon_minitimeSun May 01, 2011 10:32 am

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Thesqu10

'Warriors Code' by Dropkick Murphys hits the arena speakers and the fans jump to her feet. Raven Connoly runs out onto the stage, her hair in her patent pig-tails, wearing a red tank-top and black jeans. The ULOL Campeón no Masculino is around her waist, and the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly is draped over her shoulder. She puts her hand behind her back and quickly removes the ULOL Campeón no Masculino from her waist, Raven lifts both titles above her head and lets off her battle cry as fireworks fire off behind her. Raven then puts the ULOL Campeón no Masculino over one shoulder and throws the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly over her other shoulder and makes her way down the ramp, high fiving the fans as she goes. Raven slides into the ring and settles in the middle of the ring.

Raven Connoly: "Well, it was a long, rough start, but I think it is safe to say Raven Connoly is back in prime form again!!"

The fans cheer loudly and then go into the chant 'Raven'.

Raven Connoly: "So, in case any of you missed Me Cago En La Leche! last Sunday, I became ULOL's FIRST double champion!!"

Raven holds both of her belts above her head again as the 'Raven' chants grow louder.

Raven Connoly: "You know what would be great, if I could actually enjoy a win at a PPV without getting attacked. You see I had to beat two other ULOL champions to win my match at the PPV, those two champions were the ULOL Ligero Maximo Lucian Blackheart and the former Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik, Taufik. Apparently Taufik decided to put his title on the line, I give him props for being a fighting champion. However, when you put your title on the line, you better be prepared to lose it. Well, Taufik got eliminated first, and there went the Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik, a true champion would have shook it off, and waited for their chance to win it back. Taufik, however, apparently got some sand in his vagina and decided instead to attack Lucian and myself and then stomp off in a huff, poor, poor, Taufik."

Raven Connoly: "Now, unfortunately Taufiks little tantrum is what helped me win that match, I didn't realize that Taufik had taken out Lucian, I just saw my opponent on the mat and did what your supposed to do, I went for the cover. So even though I won the match, it wasn't the clean win I prefer. So that is why tonight I want to rectify that, tonight I have a match with Taufik. Now since I did not like the circumstances I won the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly, I will put it on the line tonight. We already know what Taufik thinks of me, I'm a little girl who doesn't belong in this business. Well, this girl took your belt Taufik, think you can take it back, I'm giving you the chance Taufik. Now of course there is one catch, since I don't trust you, and since I know you have all your Age of Pain goons, I want this match to be a STEEL CAGE MATCH!!"

The fans go crazy at the mention of a steel cage.

Raven Connoly: "So what do you say Taufik, are you up for the challenge!? Hell, I don't even need your permission, lets just get someone out here to make this match official."

"All That Remains" by Fozzy started playing as Taufik, wearing his black leather jacket walked his way to the ring with a mic in hand. He begins talking enroute.

Taufik: "Raven, I think you should take back your words about having our match in a steel cage because this Taufik is not the old Taufik that you all pieces of crap remember."

The fans jeers at Taufik when Taufik disses the fans as Taufik continues to talk.

Taufik: "I put my title on the line in our little triangle match and guess what! I lost it! and to who?"

Taufik pauses for awhile.

Taufik: " I lose it to you!!!"

The fans cheers to Raven Connoly as Taufik gets more pissed with the fans.

Taufik: "But what happens after that was not expected. You see when I lose that title, it opened up another side of me. A side of me that I thought I've locked up deep inside and thrown away the key. I was so frustrated that I've lost a title which holds as much prestige as the Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly. I struck both you and Lucian with my Singapore Cane with such force which you guys have never felt before, and it felt good. Now you want me in a steel cage match..."

The chant of "We Want Cage" from the fans has started as Taufik pause for a moment to see the fans reaction.

Taufik: "Looking at the fans' reaction and your demand, you want it to be in a steel cage then so be it, but on one condition. You put the title that was rightfully mine on the line or there will be NO Steel Cage match. Be careful what you wished for Raven, cause it might be the last thing you'll ever do!"

Taufik waits for the answer from Raven Connoly.

"Welcome to the Club Now" by Manian plays for a dimly lighted stage. The lights begin to flash with the beat as Yuki Monotomo walks to the stage, taking time to flirt with the ladies. Yuki enters the ring and picks up the microphone. He smirks behind his mask and laughs.

Yuki Monotomo: "I have to admit, last week was fun."

The ladies' man claps his hands sarcastically. As he laughs some more, taking time to make his claps overdramatic.

Yuki Monotomo: "Poking fun at the new guy! It was a hoot! Hilarious! It was a great time! At least I'm putting down information that makes sense!"

Yuki moves to the corner of the ring closest to the announcer's table. He sits on the second turnbuckle and crosses his right leg over his left leg, making his right leg like a table. He leans his head against the third turnbuckle and continues talking.

YYuki Monotomo: "If I remember when I was a viewer there was a wrestler known as "Dashing" Taufik! What happened? Were you the one lying? I'm just stating facts here people. We had "Dashing" Taufik who, in fact, wasn't so "dashing"! Come to think of it, he sucked it up in the ring, every Thursday, until he became just Taufik! So, I'm asking if "Just" Taufik has anything he'd like to release to the public. I told you all about my past freely. Maybe "Just" Taufik was "just" pulling all of our legs. Maybe he was trying to hustle us into pitying that "poor man who wants to make his dream come true"."

Yuki says the last part while mock-wiping fake tears from his eyes. He stands up and walks to the center of the ring.

Yuki Monotomo: "Please. I'm here for one thing. Glory. That's what anyone wrestles or fights for. I'm not going to deny it. I'm here to hit people in the face and earn titles. No disguise. If I want to be remembered, I'm not going to go on a sad story. My life is just one of running from my problems. I'll admit it, but I'm not running anymore! So, I'm telling all of you, I'm here to fight and earn glory. Not "realize a dream", like "Just" Taufik. And I'll prove it if you let me in that steel cage."

Yuki stares at Taufik and Raven down.

Raven gets a confused look on her face, she looks at Yuki, then over at Taufik, and then back at Yuki.

Raven Connoly: "Go figure, I get some gold and suddenly all the boy's want to get in the ring with me. Well, lets straighten this all out shall we. Let's start with you Taufik, maybe you should have listened to everything I said earlier before you came out here running your mouth, because I already put the title on the line hon, that's what I meant when I said 'I will put it on the line tonight'."

Raven get's a ditsy look on her face, tilts her head to the side and starts playing with her pig-tail, and starts to speak in a baby voice.

Raven Connoly: "Now I know I'm just a dumb girl, but I'm pretty sure when you say you want to put the title on the line that means your putting the title on the line"

Raven pauses for a second and then looks at Taufik.

Raven Connoly: "OH, is that why you got so mad last week, because you didn't realize when you put your title on the line that's what it means, that totally makes sense now. Now as for your claim that you hit me harder with that Singapore Cane then I've ever been hit before, well..,"

Raven walks over and gets face to face with Taufik.

Raven Connoly: "As most men do when telling stories involving there canes, it was greatly exaggerated."

The fans begin to laugh as Taufik glares at Raven.

Raven Connoly: "Now, as for you Yuki, I am impressed that you walked out here and asked to be in this match. Your new here, and it takes some guts to walk out here and challenge a champion. Having said that, tonight is between Taufik and I, Taufik seems to think it was a fluke loosing to me, so I need to prove otherwise. So I can't allow you in this match tonight, but I don't get to pick and choose my challengers either. So if you want a shot, I'd go talk to the GM or Vice GM, if they want to give you a shot, well I'll gladly accept."

Raven Connoly: "Well, I'd love to stay and chat boys, but I have a Steel Cage Match to get ready for. Now don't be late for our date tonight Tau, you now how us girls get when were left waiting"

Raven smiles as she takes a few steps back until her back hits the ring ropes, she then leans back and does a back flip out of the ring. Raven makes her way up the ramp leaving Yuki and Taufik in the ring.

Yuki, while watching Raven leave begins laughing. He brings the microphone up to his face again to speak.

Yuki Monotomo: "I'll see you in this ring sometime, sweetheart, and when I do, that title is mine! Just remember that!"

Yuki turns back around to Taufik. He stares him down and after a few seconds, begins to speak again.

Yuki Monotomo: "You, however, I look forward to seeing lose. That title's got a reservation for the new guy. Me. I'm taking that title. Because, Taufik, you sucked as "Dashing" Taufik and you suck as "Just" Taufik. I think I'm gonna just sit on the barricade and watching Raven smash your face against the cage. I'll laugh about it too. You espically won't be "dashing" after that!"

Yuki laughs as he looks to the monitor. He shakes his head as he turns back around.

Yuki Monotomo: "And if you want me, I'll be heading to our GM's office to request something. Everyone here knows what I'm going to get and I'll pay for it out of my own pocket if I need to. The DWMA doesn't need to take that kind of crap from people. We'll prove that we're supposed to be here and we'll prove that we're all good people. The DWMA is going to be the most dominant force in the ULOL and we'll prove that too. The DWMA doesn't need to bad-mouth the Age of Pain, because we don't need to point out their flaws. Oh, and by the way, I truly think that Raven is going to hold onto that title for me while I wait and watch an athlete of your caliber get beaten."

Yuki drops the microphone in front of Taufik and slides out of the ring. He then begins to walk up the ramp, bowing to female audience members before leaving Taufik alone in the ring.

Taufik then stops Yuki as Taufik then started to speak again.

Taufik: "Boy! You ain't gonna wanna to mess with me right now cause I'm in a very bad mood and feel like destroying a living being. And if you keep running your mouth, IT MIGHT BE YOU THAT I HAVE TO DESTROY FIRST!!! You are just here for two weeks and you're showing your cockiness. Don't you think for one second that you running your mouth like your pothead friend in that Dancing With The Stars stable would get you anywhere! If you think that you little Dancing With The Stars stable of yours can be the most dominant stable ever, YOU'RE WRONG asshole!!! Well tell me Yuki how many time your stable has been in a title match with my stablemate and LOSE!? You bring up the past about my being "Dashing" Taufik? That bitch is long gone and right now I don't care if I cut my face cause it give me more the reason to destroy you. Yuki boy, be careful what you say about me cause it might be your last word.

"All that Remains" started playing as Taufik make a statement to both Raven and Yuki as he head to the back of the backstage area.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Behind12

The ULOL tron lights up. Lucian appears sitting on a couch with the camera directed right at him.

Lucian Blackheart: "Fans of ULOL. As you have all witnessed, a great injustice was done. My streak has come to an end, but my title belt remains safely on my shoulders."

Lucian taps at his belt that rest on his shoulder.

Lucian Blackheart: "I robbed Taufik of his title, and in return I too was robbed of the match and the title. Now personally, I do not give a damn about some useless made up championship belt.. But what I do give a damn about was the cowardice he had displayed by striking me in the back of the head whilst I had victory held in a tight grasp. To make matters worse, he continues to brag about being a coward. To add to this he waited for Raven Connoly to take advantage of the situation and pull up for the win to attack her. He knew that he would be entitled to a rematch, and he saw Raven Connoly as an easier opponent generally based on her gender. Well shame on you, Taufik. No matter what sex she may be she will still be a better competitor then you."

A devilish grin appears on Lucian Blackheart's face.

Lucian Blackheart: "Raven Connoly... You claim that you had no idea of what happened. But I'm pretty sure you knew exactly what happened. How does one end up flat on the mat when they are or were in control of the match? But you're smart. You took advantage of the situation. I'm sure I would've done the same thing if the roles were reversed. If that were possible."

Lucian briefly pauses. The grin passes and a little more serious, yet calm look appears on his face.

Lucian Blackheart: "Yes I know... I like to bitch after a loss. But I'll ended it with this. Miss Connoly, I believe a congratulations is in order. Taufik, sleep with one eye open. Your tough talk does not frighten me at all. Sorry, I mean psychotic talk. As I have been told many times, payback's a bitch and right now your karma isn't looking to good. Remember that."

Lucian lifts his head and smiles, then stands to his feet and walks away as the ULOL tron goes dark.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Thesqu10

The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura and Leon walk slowly to the start of the ramp. Following behind is Yuki Monotomo. All three superstars stop and the lights turn back on after lightning strikes behind them. The lasers continue as Ray and Leon slowly enter the ring. Yuki poses for the fans then runs to the apron. They go to diffrent ring posts and climb them, then strike a pose. Yuki slides in the ring and humps the air in the direction of the female fans. Leon takes the mic and raises it to his mouth.

Leon Hinomoto: "We are down but not out. Last week at the PPV we lost our match but we still walked out of the arena with our heads held high. We may not have won but we gave it all we had. The IRA and the Orential Spices were all taken out with some ease. The Age of Pain beat us fair and square with only a little help from the second rope."

Leon passes the mic to Ray.

Ray takes the mic and lets the words flow from his lips.

Ray Kamaura: "Now we aren't trying to justify our loss, in fact we have to give props to them for winning. Also and big old congrats for Taufik on retaining his ti- Oh Wait He lost. Well at least he was the last one to be elimin- Oh wait he went first."

Ray pause and waits for the crowd to settle down.

Ray Kamaura: "But all joking aside, It's still raining. So we will keep fighting until we reach our goal of winning and taking the gold away for the Age of Pain. This is no longer just some feud. No more bashing them while they try and cut a crappy promo. We are going to let our actions speak. So We are issuing an open challenge for any tag team that thinks they can take us on. Hell you don't even have to be a tag team, just two people. It's go time.

Ray waits for someone to answer his challenge. Several seconds passes and nothing

Ray Kamaura: "What, no takers? Are you all scared? FINE WE WILL JUST WAIT TILL NEXT WEEK."

The music starts playing and they all walk out of the ring.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Boybak10VSLucha Loco 05/01/2011 Quioae10

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen! The following contest is for one fall! Making its way to the ring, here is Boy Bakla!"

Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to it's corner waiting for the match to begin.

Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla looks like it's recovered enough from the beating it took at Me Cago En Leche!"

Brad Blood: "Who knew Eunice Winslow could throw a swing like that? But yeah, I'm amazed Bakla's jaw didn't shatter into a thousand pieces. But how far has Bakla really recovered?"

Jasmine Lee: "Its opponent! Making his way to the ring, here is Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Nu-metal music begins to play as a highlight reel of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing runs on the ULOLTron. A horde of reporters and photographers gather at the stage entrance, taking pictures and giving a blow by blow of Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's every move as he steps out for his match. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing waves to the fans as he slowly makes his way to the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Q and Boy Bakla used to be partners in the same stable, in the early version of ULOL. But this is a much different United League of Lunatics, and now they face each other as opponents."

Brad Blood: "Q's been chasing Zombie for weeks. His mind's likely on the dead guy. Boy Bakla may not be at 100%, but if Q's not totally focused on this match, it could cost him."

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing actually eliminated himself from the Boleto Dorado match, when he chose to help save his countrymen from a rampaging Zombie."

Brad Blood: "Considering HOW the Boleto Dorado match turned out, I don't think Q really minded. But neither Q nor Zombie have been able to get the decisive upper hand in their blood feud."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee in charge is Don Q. Hotte. And now...LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Bakla and Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing immediately lock up, and Bakla slides behind Q...and it's rubbing itself suggestively against Q!"

Brad Blood: "Q trying to shake Bakla off, but Bakla's glomped on him like white on rice!"

Jim Jackson: "Bakla forcing Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing to grab the ropes! The official forces the break, and Bakla wags its tongue at Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing."

Brad Blood: "That's creepy."

Jim Jackson: "Bakla and Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing stalking each other...they lock up again, and this time Q cinches Bakla in a headlock. Bakla forces Q off with a shove to the ropes, and manages to duck his running counterattack!"

Brad Blood: "Bakla trips up Q!"

Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla goes for a wristlock! And SLAPS Q across the face! Q fires back, but Bakla ducks under! Hooks Q's arms from behind for a backslide!"

Brad Blood: "Q's blocking it!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing trying to keep from being pulled off his feet! A test of strength between the two! Bakla suddenly unhooks an arm, and uses Q's own momentum against him!"

Brad Blood: "Did you see how fast Bakla was with that takedown!"

Jim Jackson: "Bakla quick to cut off Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing! Double wristlock...and into a pinning suplex!"

Brad Blood: "Q manages to kick out before the ref can make the count!"

Jim Jackson: "Bakla staggers Q with a strike to the throat! And it rolls him up with a schoolboy!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "Bakla pounces on Q again with another rollup!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Brad Blood: "Bakla keeping Q off-balance with quick pinfall attempts. A shame it didn't try this when it had Eunice Winslow as an opponent."

Jim Jackson: "Bakla no doubt underestimated her. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing lifted off his feet, but he counters the suplex attempt, landing behind Boy Bakla! Q ducks Bakla's charge! Jumping elbow to Bakla's face on the rebound!"

Brad Blood: "Oh, Bakla didn't rattle Q enough!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing knocks Bakla into the ropes! He's pulling Bakla up, leaving his opponent suspended across the ropes! KICKS Boy Bakla hard in the breadbasket!"

Brad Blood: "That bounced that thing off the ropes, and onto the mat!"

Jim Jackson: "Cradle suplex by Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "No three! Q headbutts Bakla! Looks like he's aware of Bakla's injury! Bakla trying to cover up, but it gives Q an opening! Russian legsweep!"

Brad Blood: "And an elbowdrop to the face for good measure!"

Jim Jackson: "Crisp flow of moves by Q! Now Q's grabbing Bakla by the legs...and he slingshots Bakla up and back down to the mat!"

Brad Blood: "Hard wheelbarrow suplex! That move dropped Bakla on the back of its head! Even if it didn't land on its face, the impact is sure to aggravate its injury from Mrs. Winslow's brick!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla manages to kick out! And it is trying to roll out of the ring!"

Brad Blood: "Q didn't waste any time stomping it flat in its tracks!"

Jim Jackson: "Indeed. Q grabbing Bakla yanks Q facefirst into the turnbuckle! Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is stumbling back to his feet!"

Brad Blood: "And into a wicked kick to the face!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "Bakla able to stall Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's momentum AND nearly steal the win!"


Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing falls lifeless to the mat! Boy Bakla moves back into the ring!"

Brad Blood: "JUMPS and lands buttfirst onto Q's face!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "Nearly got him! Boy Bakla...slithers suggestively across Q for another pin attempt!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two!"

Brad Blood: "But Q's manliness was grossly offended, helping him kick out!"

Jim Jackson: "Bakla...throws Q into the corner and crushes him with a clothesline! Bakla with a running bulldog NO!"

Brad Blood: "Q manages to push Bakla away!"

Jim Jackson: "Q counters Bakla's attack with a Jericho Codebreaker! Both Q and Bakla are down!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie's coming out from the back!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is still trying regain his bearings! He doesn't know Zombie's out here!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie's not gonna give him the chance to let him react!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie leaps onto the apron! HE PUNCHES BOY BAKLA BACK DOWN TO THE MAT! He's jumping off the apron!"

Brad Blood: "Q is rushing out after Zombie! Hotte's calling for the bell!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen! The winner of the match as a result of a disqualification...Boy Bakla!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie meets Q on the floor! Q managing to sidestep Zombie's attack! He's connecting with hard shots to Zombie!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie is shrugging it off though!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing ducks Zombie's charge, and shoves Zombie into the ringpost! He's reaching under the ring!"

Brad Blood: "Q's got a chainsaw!"

Jim Jackson: "IT'S OUTTA GAS! Q tries to swing it at Zombie, but Zombie counters! And he slams Q into the ringpost!"

Brad Blood: "He tosses Q back into the ring!"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is in a daze! Boy Bakla's getting to its feet! IT GIVES Q A HARD SLAP THAT NEARLY FLIPS HIM INSIDE OUT!"

Brad Blood: "And now it spots the Zombie still at ringside!"

Zombie cackles evilly as it watches the bewildered and irate Bakla mounted over the dazed Q. It wipes the spit off its rotten, cracked lips as it shuffles backwards up the ramp, pointing at its masked nemesis.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Thesqu10

"Sonne" by Rammstein begins playing on the speakers as a man who the audience has only seen entering the building, begins walking down the ramp. A few boos are heard due to his actions earlier in the night. He takes a microphone off of a ringhand before walking up the steel steps onto the ring apron. He wipes his feet on the apron before entering the ring.

?: "All around me are familiar faces. Worn out places. Worn out faces. You all have seen too much of the wrestlers that work here. This place is bland, because the wrestlers ruin it. Week after week, you all have to watch the same people fight, over and over, again. The main portion of airtime is always about either The Age of Pain, Alexander Conway, Shogun, Raven Connoly, or some guy with a really long name."

The crowd responds negatively to the comment that some of their favorite wrestlers make the ULOL bland.

?: "I'm here to say, that the chain of repetition shall be soon broken. There is going to be a new head dog here in the ULOL."

Again the crowd boos. It seems they don't like people just coming in and saying that they will be the next big thing.

?: "I've seen tapes of the past ULOL events, and I have to say, that I am not impressed by the wrestlers who work here. I believe, no I know, that I have more talent then they do. Unlike some of the guys who say they have talent, like Alexander Conway, I can actually win matches without cheating. I'm in better shape, I'm in better condition, and I've had better training than these used up has-beens. I know I can defeat them, and soon all of you will know it as well."

Upon stating this, the man is showered with even more boos.

?: "I'm not some random kid off the street, I'm William LaCroix, and I'm your next Primo Ultimo Champion. If you were smart, you would bank on that."

William gives the camera a smug smile before stepping over the top rope onto the apron, then dropping down to the ringside flooring. He takes his time walking to the backstage.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10
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The Morbidly Obese Man
The Morbidly Obese Man

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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/01/2011   Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 I_icon_minitimeSun May 01, 2011 10:32 am

Have you always wanted a pet but cannot afford one?

Have you always wanted a pet but is afraid that it'll destroy the furniture?

Have you always wanted a pet but do not have the time to feed and walk it?


Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Freeca10


Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Thesqu10

"Simply Unstoppable [Rock Remix]" by Tinie Tempah starts blaring over the arena. The fans start cheering loudly as "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson makes his way to the ring, carrying a microphone with him. He enters the ring and taunts to the fans, who responds with cheers. The music dies down and UJJ begins to speak.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Last week ULOL had an electric PPV! A PPV that Morbidly Unstoppable didn't even compete in."

The fans boo.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Hahaha. But nevertheless we did play a part in the aftermath of the main event. Play the footage."

The video wall sparks to life, showing the ending of the PPV's main event.

Quote :
Brad Blood: "Oh man, Zombie ruled this night... Are we going to see a new reign of terror here in ULOL?!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie picks up the win in this gruesome contest! Zombie is celebrating his win while walking back up the ramp! But wait. Morbidly Unstoppable have come out from the back! They square up to Zombie. Zombie stops celebrating and looks at the two jauggernauts. Wait a minute? UJJ's extending his hand? Zombie looks at the hand and shakes it! UJJ is smiling at Zombie. "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson Irish whips Zombie onto the wall then Irish whips The Morbidly Obese Man directly at Zombie crushing him into the wall executing a morbidly Unstoppable Force! Oh my god!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie jerks forward from the impact. Uh oh look at UJJ! 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson lifts Zombie in a military press hold. 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson then smiles as he lifts Zombie up and down like a weightless toy. Then 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson releases Zombie spinning him wildly on to the mat face first executing a brutal Impact Driver! But it doesn't stop there! TMOM is taunting the cheering crowd! The Morbidly Obese Man leaps up into the air and sits down on Zombie with such force crushing them to the canvas executing a morbidly horrifying Massive Sit Down!!! Zombie isn't moving! Wait UJJ just got a jerrycan from the back... IT'S GASOLINE!!! HE POURS IT ON ZOMBIE!!! HE LIGHTS ZOMBIE UP! Zombie regains consciousness and retaliates while on fire! TMOM and UJJ hightails it as staff come in and extinguish Zombie!"

The feed cuts back to "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson who smiles. The fans chant "UJJ! UJJ!"

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Well I think we all agree that the ending of that match was smoking right? Haha. But there was a reason for that attack. All of you know that me and zombie aren't exactly the best of friends. In fact it was the weeks leading up to the PPV, Ay Basura when Zombie played his part on a beatdown on me, leaving me injured and unable to fight my way out of Conway's Prophecy submission hold. Thus making me come up short in my quest to become Primo Ultimo Champion. So I decided that now would be the best time to get revenge."

UJJ walks up to the edge of the ring, facing the stage.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "You have something I want Zombie, the Primo Ultimo Championship. I could have cost you the Primo Ultimo title, but I've been waiting long enough for the belt. I will go through anyone who stands in my way."

UJJ drops the mic and climbs a turnbuckle making a title gesture around his waist. The fans cheer. "Simply Unstoppable [Rock Remix]" by Tinie Tempah resumes playing as UJJ exits the ring and heads up the ramp.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Behind10

The scene opens backstage where we see ULOL's new backstage reporter Lex Lexington with a mic ready to address the crowd.

Lex Lexington: "Good evening folks I just came about a footage here that happened last week right after the PPV, it wasn't shown due to the commotion caused by the tragedy involving Scott Logan, but here I am to deliver it all to you now. ROLL THE TAPE!"

The scene shifts on the ULOL Tron...

In the hallways, a pair of Mysterious Figures are conversing about the recent show.

Mysterious Figure 1: "What the hell was that? That wasn't a wrestling match! I wanted to see people getting slammed into the mat! I was promised men getting broken in half, never to be the same again!"

Mysterious Figure 2: "You're confusing ULOL with something else, I think. I haven't heard anyone here promise that yet. Even so, there were other matches in the show. You could have stayed and watched them if you wanted wrestling."

Mysterious Figure 1: "I was going to root for that fat bastard! He got me all hyped up for some high flying, bone crunching, blood spewing action! And then what do we get? Russian Roulette! FUCKING RUSSIAN ROULETTE!"

Mysterious Figure 1 punches a hole in the wall as he shouts, leaving behind a bit of blood where he skinned his knuckles.

Mysterious Figure 2: "Yes, but there's no reason to damage the wall. Whoever they have doing maintenance around here doesn't need the extra work. Oh, by the way, here comes the 'fat bastard'."

Indeed, as Mysterious Figure 2 said, Musashi rounds the corner at that moment and stops just in time to avoid bumping into them. He starts waving a golden ticket around.

Musashi Kuruma: "Oh, hey guys. Did you see that? I caught that dart right out of the air! I never thought those training sessions with the chopsticks and flies would ever actually be useful, but I guess I was wrong. So now that I have a shot at any title I want, you two wanna watch my next match?"

Musashi unfortunately can't hear their answer, as Mysterious Figure 1 has forced him to the ground and is now screaming in fury while beating the monk's face into a bloody mess. Only a well-placed chop from Mysterious Figure 2 saves Musashi from looking like ground beef, but now there are two men who need to be dragged to the infirmary. Or maybe a rubber room, in Mysterious Figure 1's case.

Mysterious Figure 2: "On the bright side, maybe this will convince our daring leader to spend some time recovering instead of hurting himself more. Oh, look at me, talking to myself in the middle of the hallway with two unconscious men at my feet. Quite the image that must be. Feh."

Mysterious Figure 2 starts dragging the other two toward the infirmary. The doctor will probably have an aneurysm, but that's not his problem.

The scene fades back to Lex Lexington.

Lex Lexington: "There you have it folks it seems that our ULOL Boleto Dorado holder Musashi Kuruma was attacked. But who are these two mysterious figures? Stay tuned maybe more revelations will be revealed next week."

Scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Thesqu10

"Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F begins playing throughout the arena as the crowd falls silent. It seems they all are waiting to see how Alexander looks after his Pay Per View match with Zombie, and they all seem surprised when he looks....fine? Yes, fine. He stops to show the leg that was thought to have been bitten, and there are no bite marks, no damage, no nothing. It looks as if nothing ever happened. Alexander laughs at the crowd's astonishment before running in place. He gives out another laugh before walking down to the ring. He is handed a microphone before he rolls into the ring.

Alexander Conway: "Oh, I'm sorry. Were you all expecting an injured man? That would be hard for me to do, considering I wasn't even in a match last week."

Again, the crowd seems confused by what Alexander is saying.

Alexander Conway: "Don't you idiots understand? The only time I was in this ring with Zombie, was when he was attempting to give me back the title. I never faced him in the Main Event. Don't you all remember, I told Eunice that I would not fight in a match that involved Cannibalism. So, I lived up to my word, and I didn't compete."

Alexander looks at the audience before shaking his head in disdain.

Alexander Conway: "Are you all freakin' kidding me? None of you could tell that it wasn't me in that match? Seriously? You thought my cousin was me!?"

At this, the crowd begins booing Alexander.

Alexander Conway: "Oh, come on! I said I wasn't going to do it, so I paid my cousin a few hundred to go out there in my place. Poor kid, I didn't even mention it was an actual Zombie. I do have to thank The Age of Pain, they tried to help him. But, due to me not participating in the match, I believe that I forfeit any claim I may have had on the title. Now, that means that I have to earn the contendership if I want to face Zombie again, which I do, since he did not defeat me for it."

Alexander looks to the backstage.

Alexander Conway: "So Eunice! Allister! Set me up against Jack Johnson, I'll knock him down a few pegs. Or, put me up against Shogun, who I would prefer. He keeps going on and on about how he's the best in the world and about how he's a God, and blah, blah, blah. If he was the best in the world, then I am sure he wouldn't have only held onto the title via a series of unfortunate events. I'm sure he would have won the title without assistance from a ruined rope. And I am sure that he would have held a few more World Titles."

Alexander stops for a moment in order to think. He taps the microphone against his chest while he does so, before bringing it back up to his mouth.

Alexander Conway: "Actually, screw the Primo Ultimo Championship. If Zombie is champion, that only means that Q will be stirring the pot along with the dead freak....and we'll have mountain upon mountain of child-killing drama. Like I said, screw that. I think I will go after a certain other title. A certain title held by a man I have already defeated. I'm thinking the Ligero Maximo title, held by Lucian Blackheart, will soon find a new home. What do you all think about that?"

Alexander is once again met with boos, but he takes them for an applause, and gives the crowd a few bows before dropping the microphone.

Just then, "Take Over" by Dale Oliver begins playing, interupting Alexander's self-pandering. Before long, Christopher Bain steps out onto the entrance ramp with a microphone in hand.

Christopher Bain: "So you ran away from a fight? What kind of champion does that? At least your cousin went out and put on a show for these people."

The crowd begins cheering, as they agree with Bain.

Christopher Bain: "But, since you are starting over, that puts you at the bottom of the ladder. I have never before been so happy to say that I am at the bottom of the ladder, too! So, since we are both at the bottom of the ladder, you have no reason to not accept that challenge I made to you so long ago."

Bain walks down to the ring and stops at ringside as Alexander picks up the microphone he dropped earlier.

Christopher Bain: "So? Will you face me? The sooner you do, the sooner I stop bugging you all the time."

Alexander grabs his temples with his free hand while also speaking into the microphone.

Alexander Conway: "Oh, not you. You give me headaches. You are a pest."

Alexander gives the crowd a questioning look.

Alexander Conway: "You people cheer for this guy? Really? He's a loser! He's only won, like, one match!"

The crowd show their support for Bain, much to the bafflement of Alexander.

Alexander Conway: "Whatever, we've established that you were all idiots just a moment ago anyway. Look, Bain, I have nothing to gain from defeating you. Nothing. In fact, I'll probably be accused of picking easy opponents if I take your offer."

Alexander lowers the microphone as he thinks. Suddenly, he snaps his fingers.

Alexander Conway: "I got it! If you defeat an opponent of my choosing next week, you know, to prove that you aren't an easy opponent for me, then you can face me! How's that sit with you? Or, you could go back to defending and kissing the hands of men that you think are women."

Christopher Bain: "Hey! I'm not the only one who thought Stephan was Stephanie! At least I didn't hit on her....or, him."

A couple of EEWWWW!!!s are heard from the crowd.

Christopher Bain: "My sentiments exactly. But, onto my response to your idea. I accept, because I am not a coward. And if I defeat whoever you pick to face me, you had better live up to your end of the deal. Otherwise, this will have solved nothing, and you will still be bothered by me asking for the match."

Alexander directs a cold smile at Bain.

Alexander Conway: "Magnifique! I believe I have the perfect person picked out for you. But, I don't want to spoil the surprise. You'll just have to wait until next week to see who it is. Until then, au revoir."

Alexander rolls out of the ring, but as he walks past Christopher Bain, he stops and tosses his microphone at him. He gets a laugh out of Bain's reaction before heading up the ramp and disappearing backstage.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Behind12

Manolo Ferrer is seen standing at the door of the Age of Pain's locker room. Aside from him and the camera, there is no one in sight. He gets straight to the point.

Manolo Ferrer: "We saw new champions crowned at Me Cago En Leche. It's sad that they won at the expense of my clients, but we knew the risks going in. So now we have a murderous freak on top of ULOL's mountain. From what I hear, this is par for the course for for an organization like ULOL. The question then is about the next step. The only next step for my clients is the most logical one: we are going to let Ms. Connoly and Mr. Zombie savor their title reigns and take pictures for their Facebook. Then, when the time is right, my clients will be looking to retake those titles."

Mr. Ferrer raises his hand, as if to ward off a question before it's asked.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Conway did say he has interest in another title. That doesn't mean he can't focus on the Primo Ultimo Championiship at the same time. If Ms. Connoly can hold two titles at once, there is no reason why my client cannot do the same. Speaking of which, Ms. Connoly understandably is on top of the world, and thinks she is going to be able to hold off Mr. Taufik in their rematch, which will happen on May 8. I reckon she's justified to think that. That white hot spotlight is now on her, because in just one match she broke through the barrier of being 'just a wrestling woman'. It wasn't that long ago when people would roll their eyes over the mere idea she could beat a title holder, like Mr. Shogun once upon a time. She's proven them wrong, and I'm sure she's eager to prove them wrong again..."

Manolo Ferrer's drift into silence for a moment, before he goes on.

Manolo Ferrer: "You can only imagine what's going through her mind while she's getting ready for her rematch. She loses this, and her chance of making her star grow bigger take a hit. Then her Twitter gets spammed with 'get back in the kitchen' or other nonsense. I don't agree with that, but it will happen."

Mr. Ferrer looks up briefly, pausing to collect his thoughts.

Manolo Ferrer: "I mentioned Mr. Shogun a moment ago. He has a match with my client, Mr. Arnold Bold. I can see where this is going. Mr. Shogun wants to prove he's still on top of his game, by challenging one half of the Campeones Companero to a match. And then, when it's done, he's going to rubbish my client for 'not being on his level'. In Mr. Shogun's mind, any title that isn't the Primo Ultimo Championship isn't worth his time or talent. That's how he prioritizes things. Except Mr. Bold will be entering and leaving this match as a champion. Mr. Shogun won't be."

Mr. Ferrer turns around, and steps into the Age of Pain's locker room, closing the door behind him.

GoodFella was sitting alone in the locker room of his stable and watching recap of TV series The Sopranos. Nevertheless, then he heard the doors open and saw Manolo Ferrer step into the room.

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "Manolo I want to correct you for something that you said moments ago. I issued a challenge to Shogun not that he has done to me. One thing that made me a bit mad is what he thinks about Age of Pain. That we are just a bunch of goons for you who doesn’t have our own minds and thoughts. Anyway, I had a pretty good match at the PPV. I am sure that was one of the greatest matches of my career."

He pauses the show he is watching for a bit and continues to talk with Manolo.

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "I wonder where is Taufik now. He was pretty upset last week when he was beaten by Raven Connolly.. Nevertheless, I think it was also Taufik fault because he didn’t bring the A game that night. So next time he will be facing her, he will know what to do."

He waits for Manolo to answer while he takes a glass of juice and drinks a gulp.

GoodFella's manager smiles as he answers his client's question.

Manolo Ferrer: "It's more important that we show Mr. Shogun that you're not going to be his stepping stone to anything bigger or better. The idea that a Tag Team Champion can't compete, much less defeat, a former World Champion should be dragged out to the street and bashed to bits with a crowbar. I hear that's something goodfellas are good at."

There is a granite undertone that colors the manager's calm demeanor.

Manolo Ferrer: "As for Ms. Connoly, I am sure she would also like to know where Mr. Taufik is. That's not really the discussion we should be having. We should be talking about how this rematch is really all about Ms. Raven Connoly. She's got a chance to live another week holding two of ULOL's titles. But she has a lot more to lose than Mr. Taufik. If Mr. Taufik wins, she could find her options in ULOL again hamstrung exclusively by her own gender. That Correa Grande Del Oro...de Raven Connoly..."

Manolo Ferrer's pause before correctly using the new name of Taufik's former title is obvious.

Manolo Ferrer: "The Correa Grande Del Oro de Raven Connoly is her passport to bigger and better things in ULOL. She's going to do desperate things to keep that title in her name. I won't be surprised if she's been losing a lot of sleep, wondering how things can go totally wrong for her next week. It happened to Mr. Taufik; there's no reason why Ms. Connoly can't suffer the same twist of fate."

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold changes channel and sees that self-proclaimed “Demonic God” Shogun is in the ring and addressing to Manolo Ferrer and GoodFella.

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "Look. What do we have here? Little Shoggie wants to play. Should I come out and respond to him, or you will do it? Alternatively, we shouldn’t waste our time on him right now."

Drinks a gulp from the glass before continues.

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "This guy makes me laugh. Look at him, he maybe was Demonic God but where is that now and since his title reign is over, he would like to take Campeones Companero from me and Felix."

GoodFella laughs and waits for Manolo Ferrer to reply.

A perplexed expression appears on Mr. Ferrer's face as he watches Shogun ramble in the ring. The manager sighs.

Manolo Ferrer: "I'll be right back."

He leaves the locker room in a hurry as the scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10
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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/01/2011   Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 I_icon_minitimeSun May 01, 2011 10:33 am

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Vehicu10

The scene opens to the parking lot where we see ULOL reporter Lex Lexington.

Lex Lexington: "Good evening again folks, I am here in the parking lot where another event happened last week, this time concerning Taufik. Again this clip was overshadowed by the tragic death of Scott Logan. Though it may be nothing, I just feel it's my obligation to show the crowd how the former Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik treated his loss last week on the PPV. ROLL THE CLIP!"

The scene started showing last week assault that Taufik gives to both Lucian and Raven as the cameraman catches up with Taufik as he makes his way to his car. With frustration, Taufik speak to the cameraman.

Taufik: "Don't you dare follow me or I'll make sure they send another EMT just for you asshole."

Taufik then put his luggage at the back seat and slams the car door as he ignite his engine and drive off as fast as he can as the scene fades to black returning to Lex Lexington.

Lex Lexington: "Now are these the actions of a true champion or former champion? Taking his frustrations out on an innocent camera man? You decide folks."

The scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Thesqu10

A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals hits the speakers. After a moment fire spouts from the entrance ramp and "The Demonic God" Shogun can be seen walking through. The familiar emotionless expression can be seen glued to the mans face as he makes his slow decent down the ramp towards the ring to the fans dismay. Soon Shogun enters the ring and takes a mic from an awaiting ring hand where where he now begins to speak.

Shogun: "Again I am screwed. Again Musashi gets a win he did not deserve. However I will not blame him for the foolishness that occurred last week. No you see Allister King is the man responsible for that ridiculous display! Russian Roulette?! What sort of wrestling promotion will put its wrestler lives on the line like that? I understand that this is a sport of violence. HOWEVER when you force me to put a gun to my head you have gone to far King! You may not have cared about killing men in the middle of the ring but you seemed to have a problem when someone decided to kill someone close to you.."

The crowd suddenly erupts in boos

Shogun: "You people boo me for speaking the truth! Of course it is wrong that Kings friend was murdered but he had no qualms with sending his wrestlers to their doom! A mere mistake was all that kept us alive last week! I cannot feel any sympathy to a man who would let me die in the middle of the ring for the entertainment of leeches!"

The boos become deafening now

Shogun: "Now for my response to Manolo Ferrer! I am not a man who hides backstage when he speaks! I come out to this ring every week and speak my mind! I just spoke it a moment ago and I could care less what any of you people think about it! Now Mr. Ferrer you may hide in the back all you want but that will not save you from my attention. You see the views you expressed about me are nothing but false. I do not feel that any title other than the Primo Ultimo is worthless. I am not Ray Kamaura! As a matter of fact if I had a partner I would love nothing more than to take the Campeónes Compañeros from your little stable."

Shogun: "I am quite sure that your pitiful tag team could not stop me and the partner of my choosing. Just as I am sure that Arnold Bold will not be out alone tonight. No member of your stable can simply win a match alone. They are far to weak for that. No you will all run out and attempt to cost me the win just as you always do."

The crowd still boos on despite hating the Age of Pain, hating Shogun that much more

Shogun: "I have no qualms about this however, I will defeat your little pawn one way or the other. I have no need to tell you all my future plans for you know them well. I also need not tell you that Musashi will pay for his ignorance! Most of all Allister King will pay dearly for his foolish attempt at the lives of his wrestlers. I will not forgive and I never forget. A heavy debt must be paid for your drunken foolishness! A debt that will be paid through pain and suffering."

Shogun: "Until that time comes Arnold..you should prepare yourself well for our match. Else you will end up like most everyone else who faces me. Broken and defeated."

With that Shogun drops the mic and begins exiting the ring to the crowds massive amount of boos.

Shogun's way is blocked by Manolo Ferrer, who steps onto the stage with a mic in hand.

The manager of the Age of Pain has a neutral expression as he begins to speak to Shogun.

Manolo Ferrer: "According to Mr. Shogun, he can find his way to the wrestling ring without geting lost or hurting himself. Thus, this qualifies him as a better wrestler than I am. The problem with your logic, Mr. Shogun, is that I'm a manager. I'm not here to wrestle. I'll even excuse you for deliberately omitting my match with Mr. Conway. Anyway, I'm not out here to give you the answer you want to hear. I'm out here to ask you a question."

Manolo Ferrer takes a moment to gauge the audience and Shogun's reaction. The manager then decides to go ahead with what's on his mind.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Shogun, if you think I don't have any guts because I usually don't bother to write promos set in front of a live audience, what does that make you for letting Q make you his bitch all this time?"

Another pause.

Manolo Ferrer: "I'm sure in your next promo you're going to bluster and brag about how Q isn't on your level. According to you, he's just a comedy character that doesn't deserve any reply from you, a serious, serious character. You had no problem just how serious you are, by threatening to put Ms. Connoly in her place, after she dropped your name once in a promo. You were such an alpha male, man."

The crowd reacts, but Mr. Ferrer is focused only on Shogun.

Manolo Ferrer: "But Q? The man has been running you down in promos since last year. You eventually confronted him, and even had Mr. Troy on your side. He still kept coming, didn't he? And in front of everybody here, you - Shogun, the Primo Ultimo Champion - pretended Q didn't exist. You decided not to engage with the man, thinking that maybe he'd get bored and leave you alone."

Mr. Ferrer pauses again, emphasizing with a finger what his next point is.

Manolo Ferrer: "The problem is you've proven Q to be absolutely right about you, mister. And the bonus he gets is that all this time you've exposed how much of a huge yellow streak you have. You've let Q clean his boots all over you, any time he wants. And you did that all on your own."

Mr. Ferrer's finger now points at Shogun, punctuating each word in his last sentence. The words now come faster, like an executive dictating notes.

Manolo Ferrer: "The next stage of your career here is going to be directed by the Age of Pain. Mr. Arnold Bold is going to beat you, the way a goodfella should. If then, you find someone in ULOL who doesn't despise you enough to willingly work with you as a tag partner, my clients will be ready for you and your hired gun. Even if he's a fresh graduate of whatever Devil Worshipper's Academy you came from. Maybe if you're fortunate, your future tag partner will have more than enough courage to make up for the complete lack of a spine you have. Until then, I hope you have a good week, Mr. Shogun. Even if I don't really mean it."

Mr. Ferrer turns and leaves, not bothering to give the former Primo Ultimo Champion a second look.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Office10

Eunice P. Winslow is sitting at her desk when suddenly the door opens and Allister King marches up to her desk.

Allister King: "What the fuck do you think you're doing hiring that mental patient? Due you have some grudge against me? That BASTARD killed Scott and you reward him with a fucking contract?"

Eunice P. Winslow: "That was a slight oversight on my part Mr. King. When I hired him, I had no prior knowledge about your history with him nor his intentions to do harm to Mr. Logan. Believe me that I myself am pained by the passing of Mr. Logan but now that he is in an ULOL contract, unless he breaches that contract, Mr. Callahan shall still be signed to ULOL."

Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow takes out a file and studies it.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Our legal team are also studying the matter, hopefully we can come up with a resolution that will not cost any more lives. Please be assured Mr. King that we are doing all we can within the limits of our powers to ensure that Mr. Callahan will be brought to justice. All we have now are circumstantial evidence. The security camera caught nothing definitive. So please be calm about this, I think both of us do want this killer brought to justice for Mr. Logan's sake."

Allister King: "Well then there is only one thing we can do. Make him Suffer!. I am placing him in a match next week. It will be Me and a partner of my choosing against Him and a partner of his choosing. And the winning team will choice the stipulation for a match at the next pay-per-view. Things will turn violent and I will enjoy every god damn minute of it."

Suddenly the door opens and Boy Bakla enters the room, Bakla stares at Eunice who stares back with smugness.

Boy Bakla: "I'm noth here for you Eunice... Ifth you needth someoneth to parthner with Allisther, I can thurely be of assisthance... Scottie-poo although our thime was brief, he hath thaken a place in my hearth... So ifth you don'th mind, I am willing to parthner with you nexth week."

Bakla winces as in pain as it talked and offered it's help to the GM of ULOL.

Allister King: "I accept your offer. If I know Shadow, I know who he will choose as his partner and truthfully we are in a bit of trouble but I think that we can overcome that obstacle."

Allister lets out a slight grin and pats Bakla on the shoulder

Allister King: "See ya next week in the match...Partner."

Allister turns around and looks at Eunice.

Allister King: "We will finish this later."

Allister leaves the office and so does Boy Bakla after glaring one more time at Eunice P. Winslow as the scene fades to black.

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Arnold10VSLucha Loco 05/01/2011 Shogun10

Jasmine Lee: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, accompanied by Felix Schwarz and Manolo Ferrer, Arnold "Goodfella" Bold!"

"Fire Flame" by Birdman starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again and Felix and Arnold are standing in the middle of the ring and waving to their fans.

Jim Jackson: "Arnold is looking to prove what Shogun had said two weeks ago about The Age of Pain wrong."

Brad Blood: "That's a difficult task, it's good to see Felix and Ferrer out here offering Arnold their support."

Jim Jackson: "You mean, they're waiting to interfere in the match?"

Brad Blood: "No, I mean they're here to offer their support. Why would I say something I didn't mean?"

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for tonight, Shogun!"

"A Victim, A Target" by Misery Signals blasts though the arena speakers ans the lights begin to flash on and off. As the lyrics begin Shogun bursts from behind the curtains with fire erupting from the ramp beside him. Shogun begins to make his way to the ring with a look of pure intensity on his face. as he makes it to the ring he runs up and rolls into the ring the expression on his face unchanged.

Jim Jackson: "Shogun is looking to get back into the Primo Ultimo Title picture, but he suffered a set back two weeks ago with his loss to Musashi Kuruma and another last week when he failed to win the Boleto Dorado."

Brad Blood: "An angry Shogun is a dangerous Shogun."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "As the bell rings, Shogun charges at Arnold but Arnold rolls out the ring and out of harm's way."

Brad Blood: "Look, he's just getting some advice from Manolo. See? He's getting back in the ring."

Jim Jackson: "So he is, it looks like this match will be start....and he's rolled back out. It looks like our referee has had enough of this."

Don Q Hotte: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five!"

Brad Blood: "He shouldn't be counting Arnold out, he's just trying to get some more advice from his stablemates."

Jim Jackson: "He should have gotten the advice before the bell was rung. It looks like Shogun feels the same way, as he's out of the ring. Manolo tries to warn Arnold, but it's too late! Shogun just caught him with a big elbow to the head."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "Shogun gives Arnold a few hard stomps before slamming Arnold's head off of the ring apron!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun is looking for the irish whip, but Arnold is able to reverse it! Shogun is sent crashing into the steel steps! Arnold uses the seperation to get back into the ring."

Don Q. Hotte: "Four!"

Jim Jackson: "Don has to stop the count to prevent Arnold from going back out to ringside. Wait, while his back is turned, Felix grabs Shogun and rams him back into the barricades!"

Brad Blood: "All I see is Felix kindly helping Shogun to roll into the ring. And now I see Arnold going for the first cover of the match!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One..."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun powers out at one. Arnold keeps him down with a few stomps before scoring with the elbow drop."

Brad Blood: "Bold goes for a short run, but Shogun jumps up and takes him down hard with the spear!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun waits for Arnold to get back up, only to take him down with the DDT! Shogun isn't done though, butterfly suplex! Shogun goes for the pin!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Arnold kicks out at two. He's uses the ropes to pull himself up, but as he turns around, Shogun lifts him up for a powerslam."

Jim Jackson: "Felix hops up onto the apron, reaches out, and pulls Arnold off of his shoulders before the ref can notice! Arnold with the roll-up!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun is able to force Arnold off at two. Shogun quickly gets up and the two begin trading hands."

Brad Blood: "Shogun gets the best of the exchange before irish whipping Arnold into the turnbuckle. Shogun comes flying in, but Arnold sidesteps! As Shogun bounces back from the impact, Arnold dropkicks him right back into the turnbuckle again before following up with a neckbreaker! Arnold goes for the pin!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun again manages to kick out. Arnold waits for Shogun before kicking him in the gut and taking him down with a suplex! Shogun is quick to get up, but Arnold takes him back down with a snapmare before kicking him in the back and then kicking him in the face!"

Brad Blood: "Arnold lifts Shogun onto his shoulders. He's eyeing the turnbuckle, but he takes too long! Shogun slides down his back before taking him down with a back suplex."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun hits a second back suplex on Arnold before following it up with a belly to belly suplex."

Brad Blood: "Shogun stands over Arnold who is lying on the mat face up and grasps his leg, Shogun then does a spinning toe hold and grasps the other leg, crossing them into a four locking in the Demonic Reckoning! Arnold looks like he wants to tap, but instead he begins dragging Shogun to the ropes. He's a fingertip away but he just can't reach it!"

Jim Jackson: "But Manolo leans onto the rope, pushing it in just far enough for Arnold to grab it, forcing the break!"

Brad Blood: "Brilliantly done by Mr. Ferrer! The referee didn't even see it!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun wastes little time before driving a forearm into Arnold's injured leg! He drags Arnold to the center of the ring before locking him back into the Demonic Reckoning! He's tapping out!"

Brad Blood: "But the referee is being distracted by Manolo, he doesn't see Arnold tapping out! And now Felix is climbing up onto the apron."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun breaks the submission as Felix enters the ring. Before Felix has time to react, Shogun clotheslines him over the rope and back outside! Shogun is now trying to get the ref's attention, but he's still tied up with Manolo."

Brad Blood: "ARNOLD JUST KICKED SHOGUN INBETWEEN THE LEGS! He rolls Shogun up as Manolo lets go of the referee."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, Arnold Bold!"

Brad Blood: "He's got it! Arnold did it! He beat Shogun!"

Jim Jackson: "Arnold didn't beat anyone! He tapped out! If it wasn't for Manolo, Shogun would be the one celebrating right now!"

Brad Blood: "If the ref doesn't see it, it's not cheating. What a win for The Age of Pain!"

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10

Jim Jackson: "What a night... What a night... A lot of surprising turn outs tonight... Things I could not have predicted... To think someone could actually spook Zombie..."

Brad Blood: "Well things are heating up though, Shogun may go after The Age of Pain soon... After what happened tonight, I won't be surprised... What really caught my attention is that our general manager was sober tonight... SOBER!!!"

Jim Jackson: "True, but that may just prove how deep Allister King's friendship is to Scott Logan. He would need all his wits and bearings to deal with Shadow "The Mad Man" Callahan, his teacher... I am truly amazed at his change... But anyway, that's all the time we have for tonight so until next week... This is Jim Jackson and for my partner Brad Blood, good night folks."

Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 Ulolse10
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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 05/01/2011   Lucha Loco 05/01/2011 I_icon_minitime

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