Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011

Subject: Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:39 am

VS

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Themas10

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is for one fall! Introducing first, making his way to the ring, John Johnson!"

"One" from Metallica blast trough the speakers and sparks are showering as John "Grey Skull" Johnson makes his way to the ring, wearing shorts when he hits the ring, lightning hits the ring posts.

We see John "Grey Skull" Johnson asking for the mic once he got it he walks to the centre the ring and starts to talk.

John "Grey Skull" Johnson: "Well well it's finally time to get back at The Masked Man. I know when I first got here I told you all that I will show what I can do. But that was before i knew how things would go here. Twice I've lost due to cheating by The Masked Man. That must say allot that he can only beat me by cheating. That says he is scared of me. Butt after this match I'll give him a reason to be scared of me. I'll show him. After I'm done with him it will only take a while before I have the gold in my hands. No one is gonna stop me from doing that. All I can say to The Masked Man is come on and get some."

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for tonight, The Masked Man!"

"My Apocalypse" by Arch Enemy starts playing around the arena as The Masked Man makes his way down to the ring with a mic in hand

The Masked Man: "HAHA! Not long before You get the gold!? I'm the one who's a future champion! Your going to be spending the rest of your life in a hospital bed after this match! Let's get this over and done with!"

The Masked Man drops his mic and heads down to the ring for the match.

Jim Jackson: "John Johnson is finally getting his rematch with The Masked Man. The last time these two fought, it was The Masked Man who managed to come out with the win. The Masked Man also cost Johnson his match last week."

Brad Blood: "I don't know what's worse, getting beaten up by the man who has wrestled in almost all of our Pay Per View dark matches, or being pinned by Christopher Bain!"

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for tonight is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "There's the bell. These two start lock-up for a test of strength to start this match."

Brad Blood: "That doesn't last long, as The Masked Man catches Johnson with a quick kick to the midsection. You'd think he would have expected that one."

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man runs and bounces off the ropes before leveling Johnson with a clothesline. Both men are quick to get up, but The Masked Man is able to catch Johnson while he's disorientated and starts firing off right hand after right hand."

Brad Blood: "A suplex by The Masked Man. The Masked Man grabs Johnson's throat and puts pressure upon it with a choke."

Don Q. Hotte: "One....two....three....four...."

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man doesn't want to give up his illegal chokehold. Don Q. Hotte had to physically pull him off of Johnson. I wonder why he didn't just DQ The Masked Man."

Brad Blood: "Because no one wants a match to end this early."

Jim Jackson: "I guess it is the referee's decision. There's a knee drop from The Masked Man is followed by a cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One..."

Jim Jackson: "Johnson kicks out at one. The Masked Man goes for the leg drop, but Johnson is able to roll out of the way!"

Brad Blood: "That stopped his momentum. The Masked Man gets caught with a dropkick. Johnson bounces off the ropes and follows up with a flying shoulder tackle that sends The Masked Man back down to the mat."

Jim Jackson: "Johnson is starting to feel it! Bodyslam by Johnson is followed up with an elbow drop. Johnson goes for the pin!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man manages to get a shoulder up. Johnson looks like he wants to climb the turnbuckle, but The Masked Man quickly takes him down with a neckbreaker!"

Brad Blood: "A vertical suplex from The Masked Man! He pulls Johnson up and Irish whips him into the corner, before following him in and hitting him with a clothesline."

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man pushes Johnson back into the turnbuckle and begins landing punch after punch into him as the referee begins the count."

Don Q. Hotte: "One....two....three....four...."

Brad Blood: "The Masked Man stops his assault before the count of five. As the referee starts admonishing him, The Masked Man starts stomping a mudhole into Johnson."

Don Q. Hotte: "One....two....three....four...."

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man pulls Johnson out of the corner before the count of five. The Masked Man slams Johnson's face into the turnbuckle."

Brad Blood: "The Masked Man puts Johnson's throat onto the second rope before using his knee to apply pressure, choking the life out of Johnson."

Don Q. Hotte: "One....two....three....four."

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man breaks the choke to stop the count. Oh, and he goes right back to applying that pressure to the neck on the rope!"

Don Q Hotte: "One....two....three....four....five! Ring the bell!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the match via disqualification, John Johnson!"

Brad Blood: "What? That's a horrible call! The referee counted fast! He just stole this win from The Masked Man!"

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man is arguing with Hotte, but it's his own fault. He should have listened to the referee the first time around. The Masked Man just decked the referee! Now that's uncalled for."

Brad Blood: "He deserved it! He screwed The Masked Man out of a win!"

Jim Jackson: "Now you know that isn't....The Masked Man is staring at Johnson who is just realizing that he has won. Before he gets the chance to celebrate, The Masked Man catches him with an elbow to the back of the head! The Masked Man is just stomping Johnson into the ground!"

Brad Blood: "If you're going to attack someone, you may as well hurt them."

Jim Jackson: "The Masked Man lifts Johnson onto his shoulders and slams him to the ground, there's the Huntmaster Powerbomb!!"

Brad Blood: "The Masked Man sent Johnson and the rest of the locker room a very clear message; don't mess with him."

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Mecago10

Jim Jackson: "Good evening folks and welcome to ULOL's PPV, Me Cago En La Leche! That's right tonight we have a great card for all of you tonight, including a unique title match for the Primo Ultimo title as the main event."

Brad Blood: "I have a feeling that this will be a night that we will all truly remember, but before we kick things off, it seems that there is a little something that went on earlier this week in the VGM's office, something that may affect the outcome of the main event later on, before we continue, let us all watch this first."

The ULOL Tron comes to life and we see the office of the VGM Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow.

Eunice Winslow looks up from her desk to see Manolo Ferrer stepping through the door. Old, wizened eyes study the manager as he approaches, one hand raised towards her in a gesture of greeting, the other holding a folder.

Manolo Ferrer: "Hello, Mrs. Winslow. I think this is the first time we've actually met, face to face."

Mrs. Winslow slowly reaches out to shake his hand. Mr. Ferrer sits down, his large frame filling out the whole seat. He quickly continues, his tone conversational, if a bit rushed.

Manolo Ferrer: "Circumstances in ULOL have kept us either on opposing or parallel paths, and by the same token have kept us from even being in the same meeting. Hopefully this is the start of a constructive relationship between us. There is something I feel I should bring up with the admin of this company, so here I am."

The manager of The Age of Pain goes on.

Manolo Ferrer: "Very recently, Mr. Ray Kamaura decided that the best way for him to get noticed is to criticize ULOL titles as being, and I quote, 'worthless'. At the same time he's been acting erratic, including using his fists to try and intimidate people into not arguing with him. We can write it off as Mr. Kamaura doing a Charlie Sheen, trying to say ridiculous things just to get a bit of the spotlight. But I think it's more than that."

With that, Manolo Ferrer hands Mrs. Winslow the folder he's been carrying. He then recites Mr. Kamaura's bio from memory.

Manolo Ferrer: "This is Mr. Kamaura's bio. And I quote, 'In a ladder match for the BJASPW Invitational cup and Japanese world championship (the title was vacent), Ray was thrown from a ladder to the outside floor. He landed awkwardly. He not only suffered ligament damage in his ankle, but also broke his neck and two ribs. It took over a year to recover from his injuries, and by then, the once great "Ray Kamaura" was reduced to only a shadow of his former self.'"

Mr. Ferrer watches Eunice Winslow read the wrestler's file.

Manolo Ferrer: "I think Mr. Kamaura's senseless accusations and behavior may be more than a case of trying to get airtime. Maybe he's following Mr. Charlie Sheen in more ways than one. It's very difficult to come back from the type of injuries Mr. Kamaura suffered, and work with the same level of competitiveness people would expect him to have. He's probably in constant pain. I think he needs to take an immediate drug test to see if he's fit to compete."

Mr. Ferrer takes another moment to let his words sink in.

Manolo Ferrer: "I know that may sound a bit unusual to ask, considering who some of the other talent in ULOL are. But at least we know what they're on. I'm not sure if Mr. Kamaura's behavior is a symptom of being too medicated. I'd really not risk my clients' careers against someone who may be unfit to compete. It would help if he gets tested. Mr. Hinomoto and their new partner, Mr. Monotomo, must get tested too, just to be sure. I'm sure the IRA and Oriental Spices would also appreciate knowing if they are taking unnecessary risks wrestling them. It would also be good business sense."

The manager of the Age of Pain sits back, having said his piece.

Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow takes another look at the file before setting it down on her desk.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Mr. Ferrer, I have taken a look at the file and I have made my decision. I do think it is about time for the ULOL roster to get a drug test. But I am not going to limit it only to The DWMA, if they are to be tested, to be fair, everyone in the roster should be tested. And yes Mr. Ferrer that includes you and your little group."

Eunice then pauses and sighs...

Eunice P. Winslow: "Unfortunately Mr. Ferrer, there seems to be a little snag. You see our drunkard of a general manager has spent up the budget on liquor and we are in no shape to pay for a drug test. I cannot just single out The DWMA you understand for transparency and to be fair and all..."

The VGM of ULOL then looks at Manolo...

Eunice P. Winslow: "Unless of course you are willing to raise the money or foot the bill Mr. Ferrer, then ULOL will be grateful to you."

Eunice P. Winslow smiles as she knows just how to play this game with Manolo Ferrer. It has been a while since she has had a real challenge...

The manager of the Age of Pain scrunches his brow, as he weighs the old woman's answer.

Manolo Ferrer: "ULOL's cash was blown on booze? I guess....you're just doing this for the love of the game then."

Mr. Ferrer turns away to think. His eyes study the plaques and pictures of Eunice Winslow, many of which have her posing with many big names who have competed in the wrestling ring.

Manolo Ferrer: "I know a few companies who we can use to do the tests. I think I can get enough of a discount to cover the bill. If I can get a deal done with them early enough, we can have them do the testing a few days before the pay per view. That should enough time for the results to come out."

Mr. Ferrer glances at the person reading this promo, then turns his attention back to Mrs. Winslow.

Manolo Ferrer: "If the tests happen, I know my clients would not have to be burdened by the possibility that they would be defending the Campeones Companero against opponents who really are in no shape to be anywhere near a wrestling ring. We don't really want a Jeff Hardy title match, where one of our opponents could suddenly go into a seizure in the middle of a match, because he's had too much to sniff."

Mr. Ferrer briefly looks at the reader again, checking if you're paying attention.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Kamaura's behavior should raise red flags. He forgets his teammate's own storylines. He rambles incoherently. He comes out all angry, accusing people of being small, cowardly children. So he decides to show how it should be done, beating down someone who isn't even a wrestler. He also hangs out with a lot of very shady characters. Like that newcomer, Mr. Yuki Monotmo.

Manolo Ferrer turns over the pages in the folder he has given to Eunice Winslow. He watches as she reads Yuki Monotmo's background.

Manolo Ferrer: "The highlighted bit about Mr. Monotmo's younger days should be something I think ULOL ought to be concerned about. There's not a lot of options for a teen runaway. We don't know where he's been, or who he's been with. He may have been in many desperate situations, where the only way to get food is to go to bed with dirty old men. He may have used a lot of drugs, to deal with the indignity of living on the streets, being abused by anybody and everybody. Mr. Monotmo may have hepatitis, or even an STD, because of his...lifestyle."

Mr. Ferrer pauses, considering what he has to say next.

Manolo Ferrer: "I'm not saying Mr. Kamaura's friend is any of that. I'm only working with the information Mr. Monotmo himself has given freely. That being said, I think I'll ask those drug testers to also include STD and hepatitis testing. Just to be on the safe side."

There is no maliciousness in how the manager of the Age of Pain is describing ULOL's new arrival. He sounds cautious in his warning to Mrs. Winslow.

Mrs. Winslow looks at Manolo Ferrer then nods her head.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Yes, if you can somehow help with the drug testing then I am sure it will benefit ULOL. I think I can leave this in your hands Mr. Ferrer? I have other things I am focusing my attention over. And one of them is how to get that drunkard of a general manager's fingers out of the ULOL coffers."

Winslow sighs heavily.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Marcus Troy may be an ass, but at least he made money for ULOL. If this goes on we may be facing bankruptcy..."

Manolo Ferrer listens to Mrs. Winslow reveal the problems ULOL is in.

Manolo Ferrer: "Maybe sell shares of the company? That could help. Or ULOL can do shows on the road. That could bring in some cash. Oh, I have one more thing to ask. Is it really necessary for my client or his proxy to bite Zombie to defend his title?"

Mr. Ferrer's expression becomes bewildered.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Conway is defending his Primo Ultimo Title in a match where the rules are completely slanted against him. The Morbidly Obese Man couldn't handle zombie meat. Mr. Conway being asked to do the same is cruel. It's not fair to my client, or anyone else he asks to take his place. And this is assuming we can find someone to proxy for him in this match."

Alexander Conway's manager goes on.

Manolo Ferrer: "There has to be some sort of middle ground we can reach here, so the fight isn't completely one-sided. I'm sure you don't like the idea that ULOL would have to deal with two zombies, instead of just one."

The Door of the office opens up and Allister king walks into the room.

Allister King: "I couldn't help but over hear that discussion you were having about me."

Allister slams the door behind him.

Allister King: "Let's get the case straight here. I haven't took any money from the company for booze. I pay for the alcohol with the money I earn from working with the company and for an agreement I reached with a distillery who shall remain nameless, in which I have a lifetime supply of whiskey for as long as I continue to show me using the fore mentioned product."

Allister takes a deep breath.

Allister King: "Now, I believe you are the one who has been in charge of accounting. For all I know you have been the one who has been skimming money of the top for you freaking little habits."

Eunice looks shock.

Allister King: "Yeah, Scott told me about those, and if you think you can slander my name willing throughout the staff without consequences your sadly mistaken. For the time being, I have decided to go sober to give you this little speech and will justly deal with you at a later date. So for now, consider yourself warned and if I do find out you're the one taking the money. Lets just say your ass is grass and my boot is a fucking lawnmower, ya got it?"

Allister turns around and looks at Manolo.

Allister King: "You're okay."

Allister turns back around towards Eunice.

Allister King: "I'm off to get drunk WITH MY OWN MONEY! and I better not hear any problems from you again."

Allister turns around and exits the office.

Manolo Ferrer quickly gets to his feet.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. King, I want to talk to you about Mr. Alexander Conway's title defense."

Mr. Conway's manager stares at an empty hall. Allister King is nowhere to be seen.

Manolo Ferrer: "...shit."

Eunice P. Winslow: "See what I have to deal with Mr. Ferrer? Well... I guess my plan to get information from Scott Logan was a double sided blade... No matter, I got enough information out of him as he did out of me... The question now is how both of us will play this game of chess... Allister King may be a worthy opponent after all..."

Eunice P. Winslow looks at Ferrer...

Eunice P. Winslow: "Tell you what Mr. Ferrer, if you can think of a stipulation that can even up the odds of Zombie's battle with Conway, I will surely add it to the match, Zombie is a thorn at my side I would like to pluck out permanently."

Eunice thinks for a moment.

Eunice P. Winslow: "In fact I have a few stipulations I can add now. Zombie is prohibited to use weapons in the match against Conway but Conway is. Now many may argue this is unfair to Zombie but as the stipulations of the match stands, Zombie still has the heads up so having Mr. Conway have the use of weapons and none for Zombie would be a great way to even the odds. Then when the time comes for Conway to "BITE" Zombie, if he doesn't have the taste for rotting flesh, Alexander Conway can use a substitute to do the biting, be it human or animal it will be allowed."

Eunice P. Winslow looks at Manolo and continues...

Eunice P. Winslow: "Is this satisfactory Mr. Ferrer?"

The VGM sighs and leans back, her eyes not leaving the Manager of Champions.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Well seriously, now that the whole Scott Logan affair has been blown wide open, I guess I do not have any use for him anymore... BUT!! I would still want to get my hands around Boy Bakla, we have some unfinished business from the past and this match will be a good way to settle that."

The manager of the Age of Pain raises his eyebrows in surprise.

Manolo Ferrer: "You can do this, and Mr. King isn't going to overturn it?"

His brow scrunches again as he thinks it over.

Manolo Ferrer: "I think we can work with this. It would help if it's no disqualification."

The feisty VGM nods with affirmation.

Eunice P. Winslow: "I think I will be able to do it, I still have my booking powers Mr. Ferrer. You want it to be a No DQ match as well? Done."

Eunice pours herself another cup of tea.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Now the problem at hand is Mr. King, I have sorely underestimated him... While it is true I have doctored the accounting books, it was to hide some lavish spending which mostly came from his office... My only sin is my procurement of fine English tea for my own consumption using company funds. Something I think a little old lady like me is entitled to after my long service to ULOL. The question is if Mr. King as he says is not touching the company funds... Who is?"

Eunice looks at Mr. Ferrer...

Eunice P. Winslow: "You are a practical man Mr. Ferrer, perhaps I can enlist your assistance in this matter..."

The ULOL Tron fades to black.

Jim Jackson: "Whoa! What a revelation! The night just started and already it seems we have a conspiracy on our hands...."

Brad Blood: "If Manolo Ferrer and Eunice P. Winslow teams up... Oh man... I don't want to think what they'll be able to do..."

Jim Jackson: "Well it does look like the main event just got a little more interesting tonight. So let's not keep the fans waiting anymore shall we? LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Beyond10

The scene opens in a farm where we see Stank Lord near a cow, he begins to speak.

Stank Lord: "Hello everyone in ULOL and Happy Easter, as you all know at the PPV tonight, I face Stephanie Dawson in a Cow Fart match. This is a match I think will be your worst one yet, to lose you must be forced to smell the Cow's Fart."

Stank Lord has a bit of a grin on his face as he continues talking.

Stank Lord: "Dawson this is all your fault, if didn't do this lawsuit you won't have to be in this match, I mean the cow's rear is bad without the farts, and that is coming from me, I mean..."

He stops for a moment, to take a big sniff of the cow's rear end.

Stank Lord: "Ahhh... That smell brings back some memories. It is something you will smell before the cow farts on you I promise you that."

Before he could say anything else a cow blows a huge smelly fart that passes through Stank Lord's nostrils.

Stank Lord: "Yes... I love the smell of rotting meat mixed with rotten eggs, ahh! Stephanie Dawson I hope you will be ready for the PPV because if you down, just like the Cow's fart it is going to Stink!"

He finishes as the camera fades away.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Behind12

Scene fades into Morbidly Unstoppable's locker room. ULOL's premiere tag team members, 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson and The Morbidly Obese Man, sit adjacent to each other. But why are they here? They aren't booked for a match tonight...

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Well Lard Ass, last week didn't go exactly to plan now did it? It's the same problem all the time. We whoop Arnold and Jizzler's ass and then their posse runs out and nails us. IT HAPPENS ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME!"

UJJ lashes out a little in anger.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "But. But. We are here tonight. Without a match. I wonder what sort of fun we could have. Eh?"

UJJ looks up and smirks at his partner.

The overweight monster also known as The Morbidly Obese Man finishes off a heart stopper burger, licks his fingers and replies to his partner.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "There are tons of ways to have fun Johnson... I'm sure we can find something to occupy our time with... Maybe even gatecrash on someone's celebration later on..."

The big wrestler then stops and goes into deep thought for a while before continuing.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "We've been in a rut lately Johnson, in fact you could say we have not really had that much success after we lost our tag titles... I think it's time to remind the crowd out there that Morbidly Unstoppable is not some jobber team like Oriental Spices..."

The big man starts gnawing on some chicken wings which seemed to come out from out of nowhere. "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson is used to by now how his partner brings out food from secret stashes with ninja like stealth though it still does amaze him. Pointing a half-eaten wing at his partner, the big wrestler begins to speak.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "You know, I remember you bitchin' about wanting to have a go at the Primo Ultimo title, maybe we can pursue a singles career and put our tag team on hold. We're not breaking up mind you, just maybe polish ourselves up in singles competition first... What do you think?"

Jack Johnson thinks for a while.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "I think that could benefit us. But before we do, there is something we could do. We could gatecrash someone's celebration, or we could cancel the celebration all together. You know what I mean?"

UJJ keeps on talking but the camera has malfunctioned and the scene fades to black.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Thesqu10

Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with a mic in hand.

Boy Bakla: "So things didn't go as planned last week and Raven Connoly walked away with the ULOL Campeón No Masculino..."

Boy Bakla is interrupted by the cheers from the crowd.

Boy Bakla: "Yes, yes cheer for Raven if you want..."

Again the cheer gets louder and clearly Bakla is getting a little annoyed.

Boy Bakla: "Oh shush, I was being sarcastic. Anyway my loss last week was due to ring rust... I mean how could the fabulous me who was one of the top wrestling personalities lose if I was in top form right? Well I will give Raven this win... In fact, I would let her hold on to the title for a while to keep it warm for me from when I finally return to top form and claim it."

Bakla looks around as the crowd seem unimpressed...

Boy Bakla: "Okay, enough about that... Tonight I will be in a match with that old bi... bag Eunice P. Winslow... We've been bickering on and off for these past few years, I guess she just could take it that I am more of a woman than she is. Anyway, tonight, Eunice and I shall be in a handbag match and as I understand, we are free to use anything in the handbag as weapons. So here's a little preview of what's in my handbag."

Bakla opens up a pink handbag and empties it's content on the ring. Clearly the crowd grows alarmed at what they see... Bakla starts picking up piece by piece the content it emptied out and begins returning it into the pink handbag.

Boy Bakla: "Let's see, we have a stun gun, a can of mace, a balisong, ooh and how did these get here?"

Bakla holds up a pair of furry pink cuffs.

Boy Bakla: "Oh well I guess I can use these too in the match..."

Bakla stuffs the cuffs inside it's bag.

Boy Bakla: "So Eunice... I hope you come prepared you old bag... Because tonight... I shall force you into retirement..."

A loud boo starts to emanate from the arena.

Boy Bakla: "Oh c'mon, you guys are on the side of that dried up beef jerky? You may not know it but that old bag is sneakier and shrewder than the whole roster combined... She is the devil I tell you, the devil!"

Bakla drops the mic amid the boos and exits the ring in a huff, making it's way up the ramp and disappearing to the back.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:39 am

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Behind10

Scene fades into the backstage interview area. ULOL's resident interviewer, Stephanie Dawson, stands smiling in front of the camera.

???: "FRIDAY! FRIDAY! GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY! EVERYBODY'S LOOKIN' FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND!"

Stephanie looks down the hall to see who was 'singing' the most awesome song known to man. Then AJ appears in the camera holding an iPod Touch in his hand. 'Friday' by Rebecca Black can be heard from AJ's headphones. AJ dances around Stephanie who giggles. Stephanie taps AJ on the shoulder. AJ removes his headphones and turns the music off.

AJ: "Great song if you ask me. Now how can I help miss Dawson?"

Stephanie Dawson: "Well I just wanted some of your thoughts on your match last week and your match tonight."

AJ: "Ahh yes. I got disqualified. Tonelada is a slippery devil. But the absolute highlight must have been how I caught the bell. My mom said that my football skills wouldn't come in handy! But I proved her wrong! Sort of..."

AJ thinks to himself trying to decide whether the catch was a good move or not.

Stephanie Dawson: "Ok but what about your match tonight?"

AJ: "What about it? I mean you can't prepare for something you dont know about. I just hope that it involves catching, because I'd be pretty good at it"

Stephanie Dawson: "Alright then, thank you AJ"

AJ: "Anytime sweetcheeks"

AJ puts the headphones back in and starts dancing out of view. The scene fades.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Boybak10

VS

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Eunice10

Jim Jackson: "We are kicking things off with a match between Boy Bakla and our VGM Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow. What was first thought to be a battle for Scott Logan has now turned into a fight to settle old grudges. I don't get why this match is booked even in the first place, I mean how old is Eunice? She's twice Bakla's age."

Brad Blood: "Well Eunice may have her days numbered. Anyway joining us here at ringside tonight is The Morbidly Obese Man. Welcome TMOM, I guess since you are not in a match tonight, you'll be joining us here at the commentary table eh?"

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Don't count us out yet, me and UJJ may not be booked in a match tonight but that doesn't mean that we won't be making a splash here tonight. Just you wait guys, tonight, me and UJJ will make sure that we will be remembered more than anyone else in the roster tonight."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Handbag match scheduled for one fall. The rules are simple any objects found in the handbag and the handbag itself can be used as weapons. Introducing first, she is the Vice-General Manager of ULOL, Mrs. Eunice P. Winslow!"

Eunice P. Winslow comes out from the entrance tunnel and briskly makes her way down the ramp and enter the ring with no music and no other fanfare.

Jim Jackson: "Well here comes our VGM holding a big brown handbag. I wonder what is inside?"

Brad Blood: "An adult diaper?"

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Disrespect Mrs. Winslow one more time and you'll be swallowing your teeth Brad."

Brad Blood: "GULP!"

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Boy Bakla!"

Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to it's corner waiting for the match to begin.

Jim Jackson: "And there's Bakla with a pink handbag, Bakla seem to cause trouble everywhere it goes."

Brad Blood: "That tranny should be hanged. It always gives me the goosebumps whenever I am within a 10 meter radius of it."

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Seriously I have seen Bakla fight before and that tranny is one tricky bastitch... But I know Eunice is far too smart to be outsmarted by Bakla."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Bakla is running circles around Mrs. Winslow, clearly not taking this match seriously... Bakla takes out some curlers from it's handbag and starts pelting Mrs. Winslow with the curlers... It does no damage but I guess Bakla's goal is just annoy the VGM."

Brad Blood: "Well I hate to admit it but that fruitcake has got this match in the bag... I mean what can Eunice do to... Oh my God! Bakla just pulled out a stun gun from it's hand bag! Just one zap could be fatal to a woman Mrs. Winslow's age."

Jim Jackson: "Bakla is taunting Mrs. Winslow with the stun gun. Bakla brings the stun gun close to Eunice's face stopping only less than an inch before the stun gun connects with skin..."

WHACK!!!

The Morbidly Obese Man: "And Bakla goes down hard! Oh man what is in Winslow's hand bag?"

Brad Blood: "What the... How the... Why the..."

Jim Jackson: "Bakla is down on the canvas twitching... Eunice opens her bag... OH MY GOD!!! Is that a brick that fell out of Eunice's handbag?! Winslow for the pin."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Aha! I knew it! No way Winslow will be beat by Bakla! Hah! This is what a superior brain can do compared to trickery..."

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of the match via pinfall, Eunice P. Winslow!"

Brad Blood: "The old bag won with a brick in a handbag?!"

Jim Jackson: "Well I guess I was wrong in my prediction earlier... Anyway, thank you for joining us tonight Richard, although short, it has been a pleasure to have you at the announce table."

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Thank you Jim, although short, my time here was quite fun, maybe next time again I'll get the opportunity to join you guys here in the announce table."

"Gasoline" by Seether blasts through the PA system as Scott Logan appears on the stage holding a microphone.

Scott Logan: "You both had a good match and I know who I am going to choose."

Scott takes a deep breath

Scott Logan: "Neither."

Both Bakla and Eunice stand in shock.

Scott Logan: "You see none of you were able to satisfy my needs. I tried to wait it and to see if you could improve but you didn't so I found me someone who does know how to satisfy me."

Scott goes backstage for a moment and brings out a elderly woman

Scott Logan: "Ya see. Dorothy here has the experience needed to satisfy me. She can do things that neither of you can. So screw ya all iI'm out of here."

Scott makes out with Dorothy as Bakla and Eunice look on in shock and disgust. Scott gives them a final look before leaving.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Stephanie Dawson is seen waiting in the hallways of the arena. She leans on the wall and starts mumuring a bit.

Stepahnie Dawson: "Where the fuck is that son of a bitch?!?! I schedule a fucking interview and that piece of shit of a wrestler stands me up?!?! Damn!! Where the fuck is Bob?!?! I'm gonna get shit-canned for this!!! FFFFUUUCCCKKKK!!!"

Just then footsteps are heard. Slowly, the footsteps become more prominent. Stephanie flashes a sign of relief as she manages a faint smile. But this smile turns into a bitter look of dismay as she sees a moronic Bob Bobbie approaching her.

Bob Bobbie: "Hey Stephanie! How are you doing?"

Stephanie takes a deep breath and smiles.

Stephanie Dawson: "How am I doing? How am I doing? You want to know how am I doing?"

Bob nods enthusiastically as he waits for Stephanie to reply.

Stephanie Dawson: "Well Bob, I'm quite fine. EXCEPT THAT I HAVE TO INTERVIEW A GOOD-FOR-NOTHING POTHEAD WHO ISN'T WHERE I WANTED HIM TO BE!!"

Bob is put aback by the sudden burst of emotions from Stephanie.

Stephanie Dawson: "But hey... I can't really blame the guy. As I've said, he's a fucking pothead. He must be high-off-his-ass by now. But I can't help but blame the fucking moron I ordered to tell Tonelada to be here for an interview! HMM... who did I order again? Bob?"

Bob smiles nervously as he remembers he was the one responsible.

Bob Bobbie: "Ugh..."

Stephanie suddenly grabs Bob before he could reply properly.

Stephanie Dawson: "IT WAS YOU YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!! YOUR GONNA COST ME MY JOB YOU FUCK!"

Stephanie then kicks Bob in the testicles making him fall. As he tries to recover, Stephanie continues to kick his jewels. She finally stops after getting in a few dozen kicks. She turns around and is appalled at the sight that's before her. Standing right in front of her is Tonelada taking a dump in her Louis Vuitton bag. She is traumatized at the sight and doesn't move an inch as Tonelada struggles to exert the immense force needed to empty his tank of piece after piece of feces. He forces out a big one and casually closes the bag handing it to Stephanie who obliges in shock. He then smiles and scratches his posterior while his pants are still down. He then fixes Stephanie's hair. He realizes that some pieces of feces are still on his fingers when he sees some on Stephanie's hair. He smiles and wipes his hands on her beautiful dress. He then smiles and moves out of scene slowly as he has forgotten to pull up his pants. The camera focuses on the still shocked, crap-laden Stephanie as the scene fades to black.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

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Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

We cut to a live feed from backstage. We see Chuck Norris talking to Musashi Kuruma, Christopher Bain, Shogun, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing, AJ and the returning Tonelada. The fans start going into a huge CHUCK! chant when they see him onscreen.

Apparently the video feed has cut in some time after the meeting already started. Norris and the wrestlers each have a glass of juice in hand.

Chuck Norris: "...know things could get really, really crazy later. You could find yourselves doing stuff you never thought you'd be doing as wrestlers. I don't know what they have in mind for you guys, and it's not my place to tell you what to do if they come up with something that you don't really want to do. I will tell you that you'll only get so many chances at earning a title shot here. All I can say is you should make a decision you can live with."

Chuck looks at each wrestler in the room.

Chuck Norris: "I don't want to take too much of your time away from prepping for your Boleto Dorado match. Good luck to you guys, may the best man win."

He raises his cup for a toast. The wrestlers hastily raise their cups.

Chuck Norris: "One of you is going home with that golden ticket. Cheers."

The contenders for the Boleto Dorado make their toast, drinking their juice as the scene fades out.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:40 am

Sgt. Manuel Mendoza is waiting for a warrant to search Bold family house because they think that Felix Schwarz could be here. Felix is in hiding for about three weeks, and nobody thought that he would hide in Bold family place. Lt. Jim Cooper is exiting his office, and he calls his department for a meeting.

Lt. Jim Cooper: "Finally, we got it. We have a warrant to search the Bold family house. There was a rumors that they are hiding him so if it is needed to, bring Summer Bold in for interrogation. Let’s go guys."

However, before they can even start to move elevator doors opened three guys entered the floor they all had badges. One of the guys starts to speak.

????: "Let me introduce myself. My name is Victor Sullivan. Lieutenant of the Financial Crime Unit and since this guy known as Felix Schwarz. Well he killed one of my guys I have permission from Superintendent of Police to takeover of the investigation of real Felix Schwarz murder."

Lt. Jim Cooper: "Somehow I don’t believe what are you talking about. The chief won’t do such a thing."

Lt. Victor Sullivan: "Well maybe if you slackers worked faster, then the case would be still yours, but now it is mine. Three weeks have passed and case is not going anywhere."

Lt. Jim Cooper: "Oh really? Where you fcuk been for the past few years when your guy worked undercover and haven’t finished the case against Bold family? Oh right you’ve been training guys in WDW NPW isn’t that funny? And you call him your guy?"

Lt.Victor Sullivan: "Listen to me you are just an insult to our badge. Tell your slackers to bring all files of investigation, or otherwise I will bring down the Superintendent down here and he won’t fucking like it at all. Ain't I correct Det. Jacobs?"

Det. Lorenzo Jacobs: "Of course. Let us take over the investigation and I will assure you that things will move forward. We don’t have all day to wait here."

Lt. Jim Cooper: "We are not going to give you anything. This is MY case!"

The doors suddenly swing open and Cpt. Harry Harold entered his floor, he sees a lot of guys arguing and interferes into the conversation.

Cpt. Harry Harold: "I see we have guests from FCU today. I guess you came to take files of Felix Schwarz case. So what are you waiting for give them that case. Cause I personally asked the Superintendent to give them that case. We have a now bigger case to deal with, one where the congressman shot his wife because she was with another man. He thinks he is untouchable, but we will show him his place. So Sgt. Mendoza gives Felix's case to the detectives now."

Lt. Jim Cooper: "But sir, we were going to bring Summer Bold in for questioning and already have warrant to search their place. "

Cpt. Harry Harold: "Give them fucking case. That is a command! Is that clear to you Lieutenant Cooper?"

Lt. Jim Cooper: "Fine. Mendoza gives them that case."

Meanwhile at the other side of the street a guy with binoculars is watching detectives. Since Felix was trained in the Police Academy then in military he can read lips.

Felix Schwarz: "I guess they are going to see Arnold and his sister now. They think that they'll find me there. Fools I am so close, but they cannot find me. Well, it’s time for the confrontation with the Superintendent soon."

Felix hops on the motocycle and are going back to the ULOL arena.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Stankl10

VS

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Stepha10

Jim Jackson: "The next match is between Stank Lord and Stephanie Dawson, the first one who gets his or her opponent get farted on by a cow wins... Seriously this may be Stephanie's last chance to get rid of Stank Lord once and for all."

Brad Blood: "Well, it seems that a section of our parking lot has been converted into a cow pen. We have cows which were on a strict diet of beans and have their rear ends corked... They are walking methane bombs... Thank god we are spared from smelling cow fart here at ringside."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a cow fart match! The objective of the match is to get your opponent farted on by our cows! Introducing first, Stephanie Dawson."

Stephanie Dawson comes out in a red and black leotard and enters the match area.

Jasmine Lee: "And her opponent for the evening, Stank Lord!"

"This Stinks" plays as Stank Lord appears on the parking lot entrance he looks around him then walks down the ramp and into the match area, he poses for the fans as he waits for his opponent.

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! how can Stephanie who has no wrestling experience whatsoever hope to defeat Stank Lord?"

Brad Blood: "Stank Lord goes around Stephanie scouting her... Stalking her! Man I think Stank can literally taste this win... Stank Lord finally lunges in!"

Jim Jackson: "Wait! Stephanie is holding out her hand?! It has a white handkerchief?! Don't tell me Stephanie is giving up!"

Brad Blood: "But that means Stank Lord will own her! The ref is consulting with the officials... Wait is seems that the only way this match will end is by someone sniffing cow fart!"

Jim Jackson: "Stephanie doesn't look happy... Stank Lord is grinning so wide at the news... Stephanie tries to reason with the ref but the referee sticks by the decision."

Brad Blood: "Stephanie sighs loudly and walks over to a cow... She uncorks the cow's butt... Oh man..."

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!

Jim Jackson: "Stephanie just turned a little green there. I think she's about to puke..."

Brad Blood: "She holds it in and swallows it! She looks at the referee teary-eyed... The ref nods and calls for the bell. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Stephanie will be Stank Lords private toy!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match, Stank Lord!"

Jim Jackson: "Stank Lord is ecstatic! He's celebrating his win!"

Brad Blood: "Wait! Who's that coming out? It's the intern Bob Bobbie!"

Bob Bobbie: "Congratulations Stank Lord, to formalize Ms. Dawson's turnover, you are required to sign these papers."

Bob Bobbie hands some paper and a pen to Stank Lord who quickly signs it. Bob Bobbie looks at the papers and nods his head.

Bob Bobbie: "Now Ms. Dawson is contractually bound to you in the remainder of your stay here in ULOL. Where you go, she goes, she must follow all your commands no questions asked."

Jim Jackson: "And thus Stephanie Dawson's fate is sealed..."

Brad Blood: "Wait! Who's that coming out this time? Is that? IT'S BOY BAKLA!"

Boy Bakla strolls over to Stephanie Dawson and looks her over... Stephanie looks a little nervous...

SHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!

Jim Jackson: "BAKLA JUST RIPPED OFF STEPHANIE DAWSON'S LEOTARD!!! OH MY GOD!!! STEPHANIE HAS A DI..."

Brad Blood: "HOLY CRAP! THIS IS... EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!"

Boy Bakla: "I KNEW IT! I KNEW THAT YOU WERE FAMILIAR! YOU WERE THE FIRST RUNNER UP TO ME IN THE MISS GAYNIVERSE COMPETITION THREE YEARS AGO! YOU'RE NOT STEPHANIE DAWSON BUT STEPHEN DAWSON!"

Jim Jackson: "This is a revelation no one saw coming... WAIT LOOK AT STANK LORD'S FACE!!! HE'S IN SHOCK!"

Brad Blood: "Stank Lord just got a fruitcake bound to him contractually for the rest of his stay here in ULOL! Oh man, that is just so wrong!"

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Once again the camera is backstage with Christopher Bain, who is dressed and ready for action.

Christopher Bain: "Here we are, once again. Another PPV, another match! Just look at me, you can see the excitment on my face! I have another Boleto Dorado match, against some of the top talent here in the ULOL! It should be a showstealer! Although, I hope this time we'll have a more normal match. I really don't want to be in another Free Cat Challenge...."

Bain looks uneasy for a moment, but it quickly subsides.

Christopher Bain: "The Boleto Dorado....the Golden Ticket that allows the holder to challenge for any title he chooses whenever he chooses. This could be the best opportunity I get. I'm going to win this match tonight, and then I'm going to use that ticket...."

Christopher assumes a generic hero pose; puffing out his chest, putting his fists on his hips, and looking up at the ceiling before continuing in an overly dramatic voice.

Christopher Bain: "To challenge Alexander Conway!"

The hall falls silent for a few moments until Bain realizes the cameraman hasn't left yet.

Christopher Bain: "You're still here? I didn't really have anything else to say...."

Bain moves out of frame for a few seconds. A few muffled words later, Bain walks back into the frame again.

Christopher Bain: "I guess I could explain why I still want a match with him. Well, Alexander doesn't want to allow me to challenge him, so I will use the ticket to force him to have a match with me! I simply want a normal match with him for his previous insults, that's all. I don't want the title, I only want to fight him for my honour, and my honour will not allow me to take advantage of this ticket to get him at anything but 100%."

Bain points at the camera.

Christopher Bain: "And that's because I know I can defeat him at his best, I've done it before."

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals hits the speakers. After a moment fire spouts from the entrance ramp and "The Demonic God" Shogun can be seen walking through. The familiar emotionless expression can be seen glued to the mans face as he makes his slow decent down the ramp towards the ring to the fans dismay. Soon Shogun enters the ring and takes a mic from an awaiting ring hand where where he now begins to speak.

Shogun: "So tonight I have a shot at a shot so to speak...However I have no idea what I will have to do to get my shot. While some fools will say that it only makes things more exciting I say it is a waste of my good time."

Shogun: "You see while SOME members of this federation are simply handed they`re title shots I must slowly works my way back to the top. While some people only have to generally dislike the champion to get the shot they desire I have to go through ridiculous antics before I am able to get as much as a look at the belt I seek! Tonight I desperately hope that the Boleto Dorado challenge will be a match! Because if it is no one will stand a chance against me."

Shogun: "Especially not you Musashi Kuruma. You see last week you decided to celebrate after getting a complete FLUKE win against me due to a camera mans foolishness. The beating I gave you was only what you justly deserved for such disrespect to a LEGEND such at myself. I will not have a fat monk trying to exorcise me in the middle of the ring only to humiliate me later..I am above that idiocy!"

Shogun takes a deep breath to settle himself before going on

Shogun: "You see Kuruma you may have a victory over me. You may have won a title in the first 2 months of your wrestling career. You may very well be one of the better talents here. However I will win in the end. You see people like you are destined to end up losing. The strong survive and the weak perish. You are weak Kuruma. Weak of the body. Weak when it comes to wrestling skills. Most certainly weak of the mind..."

Shogun chuckles slightly.

Shogun: "You see in the end you honestly cannot hope to become a true champion in this federation! Because as long as I am breathing I will ALWAYS be the thorn in your side that prevents you from ever breaking the glass ceiling. I will not allow you to devalue MY Primo Ultimo championship with your fat grubby hands. The only hands that deserve the PRIVILEGE of holding that belt are that of a gods. A Demonic God`s..Heh your hands are not fit to hold a mere leather belt much less the most prestigious title in this federation! The most coveted prize there is to grasp!"

Shogun: "To the two men fighting for my belt tonight. I will be coming after whoever the victor may be. I will be relentless in my hunt for the belt that is rightfully mine. You see I am the best wrestling in the WORLD. That means that it is only natural for me to hold the worlds championship correct? Why else would I have been the FIRST Primo Ultimo champion? Soon I will be the first TWO TIME Primo Ultimo champion as well, further chiseling my name into history as the greatest wrestler of all time!"

Shogun: "I guarantee that when I win the the golden ticket I WILL become the next Primo Ultimo champion by any means necessary. Even if it means ripping a zombie limb from limp or shoving my fist down a whiners throat or even ripping the head off of a monk's body."

With that Shogun drops the mic, leaving the ring as his theme music plays.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Vehicu10

Reporters quickly make their way towards a gold SUV as it arrives at the parking lot. The media had been told about the big match that is going to take place, and sent people to report on the event.

Wrestler: "Wait! Don't you wanna know what my match is about?"

The only answer he gets is the reporter hurriedly moving to the SUV. It is just another case of the reporters finding some events to be more eventful than others. The reporters' cameras and recorders are already rolling when the man they all came to see steps out.

He is none other than the superlative superstar of the wrestling ring. He is the man known on all continents only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Hello and Happy Easter to all of you! I have a challenge before me! I will step into the ULOL ring! I will test my skills and wits against a bevy of opponents! They include those who are new and horny to prove themselves! They include those who have the rainbow bridge to the top of the mountain! And the whole bunch includes one carbon copy pothole!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing gives the reporters a few moments to write down what he has said.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "On this Easter weekend, I will fight for a golden ticket that will give the winner a chance to win a big gold belt! This golden ticket can be used any time, on any of the ULOL belts!"

Reporter: "If you win, does this mean you'll be going after the Primo Ultimo championship belt?"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "That sounds like a plan! But I will be holding my cards close to my manly chest! I can only hope that my preparations for this Boleto Dorado Match will help me win that ticket that is up for grabs!"

Reporter: "Do you think you liking Free Cat is going to give you a big advantage in this match?"

The masked man ponders this.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "It is true that I used to be the celebrity spokesman for Free Cat! But this shouldn't be held against me! I didn't ask to be part of this match for the golden ticket! Not when I have more urgent things to kill first! But I have been chosen to be one of the six in this match! I will go in that ring, and I will dedicate to my loving and luscious countrymen every morsel, shred and bit of kittycat that I eat! And if any of my opponents try any funny stunt to get ahead or undermine my efforts, I will take their Free Cat and forcefeed it into them! Rectally!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing raises his fist in a defiant gesture as he poses for the cameras, as the scene ends.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:40 am

The infirmary, where sick men go to become well and injured men go to heal their wounds. Despite the medical staff's insistence that he stay in bed, Musashi has been up and active, training just as hard as ever. The problem with this, of course, is that he's not exactly Wolverine. Strenuous activity like he's been doing on a regular basis is not good for healing, and any time he's suffered a beating or training injury, such as the fall from the roof and Shogun's recent attack with the camera, he has continually ignored his own condition in favor of keeping the show going.

Yes, he's a stubborn idiot, why do you ask?

Musashi Kuruma: "Don't stop me! I have a match tonight!"

Doctor Booboo B. Gone: "You still haven't healed properly since the last time you came here. In fact, you shouldn't even be able to move at all, with all the damage and strain your body's taken!"

Musashi Kuruma: "It is the power of the Buddha and my indomitable spirit that keeps me going! As long as I have those, neither battle wounds nor a steadily declining medical condition will stop me from...uh...from whatever it was I was doing!"

Doctor Booboo B. Gone: "You...you're even suffering from memory loss!? Are you completely mad!? Get back in that bed this instant, do you hear me!?"

Musashi Kuruma: "Never! I have a crowd of adoring fans to entertain! Now stand aside, doctor!"

Without waiting for an answer, Musashi shoves past the doctor and into the hallway, making his way to the locker room to change. In the meantime, two Mysterious Figures watch him from the other end of the hall.

Mysterious Figure 1: "Heh, I like this guy already. Not so sure about the idea of him being our leader, though."

Mysterious Figure 2: "In his condition, I doubt this will go well."

Mysterious Figure 1: "What, you think he's gonna lose just because of a few bumps and scrapes? Then again, he's not as fit as I am, so I guess you might have a point. Let me guess, you wanna give him a hand?"

Mysterious Figure 2: "He'll be fine on his own, I'm sure. Besides, I wouldn't advise it."

Mysterious Figure 1: "Why's that?"

Mysterious Figure 2: "Last I checked, we're not supposed to interfere. Knowing your obsession with competitive rules, I thought you would know that."

Mysterious Figure 1: "...You know what, let's just go watch it. I'm tired of all this talking, I want some action!"

Mysterious Figure 2: "Very well, if you insist."

The two Mysterious Figures head toward the stadium to wait for the match, while Musashi, now dressed in his ring attire, also makes his way there.

GUTS
GUTS
GETTER GUTS

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

VS

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Christ10

VS

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Musash10

VS

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Quioae10

VS

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Shogun10

VS

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Tonela10

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen! The following contest is a contenders' match for the ULOL Boleto Dorado! The winner of the match receives a guaranteed championship match, which he can use to challenge for any of the titles in the United League of Lunatics!"

The crowd cheers in anticipation, but then begin booing when A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals blasts though the arena speakers.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing the first challenger! Here is Shogun!"

The lights flash on and off Shogun bursts from behind the curtains, with fire erupting from the ramp beside him. Shogun begins to make his way to the ring with a look of pure intensity on his face. as he makes it to the ring he runs up and rolls into the ring the expression on his face unchanged. He walks over to the ring announcer and takes a mic from his hand to speak.

Jim Jackson: "The former Primo Ultimo Champion is looking to recapture the championship he lost to Alexander Conway! If he wins the Boleto Dorado, you can be sure he will use it to challenge for the championship, regardless of whoever has it."

Brad Blood: "He narrowly lost his title rematch with Conway, but that just makes Shogun even hungrier to get the title back. But that being said, I wouldn't be surprised if the others join forces to try and get rid of early in the match. And I'm sure Shogun knows that he's probably got the biggest target painted on his back, out of everyone else in this match."

'Tears Don't Fall' by Bullet For My Valentine starts blaring over the arena.

Jasmine Lee: "Making his way to the ring, here is AJ!"

AJ bursts out of the tunnel. He stops at the edge of the stage and looks at the arena. He smiles and walks down the ramp. He climbs the apron and then climbs the turnbuckle. He raises his arm up high to the fans,m who respond with cheers. AJ climbs down and enters the ring. He is immediately as he eyes Shogun.

Jim Jackson: "AJ just debuted last week, and he already manages to secure a spot in a match which could get him a guaranteed shot at any title in ULOL."

Brad Blood: "Kinda makes up for the match he had last week. But really, if he hadn't been caught with that bong in his hands, he could've won his first match here."

Jim Jackson: "You're still insisting he was trying to clock Tonelada in the head with a foreign object?"

Brad Blood: "That's what the referee said."

"Take Over" by Dale Oliver begins playing throughout the arena as Christopher Bain steps out onto the entrance ramp.

Jasmine Lee: "Making his way to the ring, here is Christopher Bain!"

Bain stops for a moment before throwing his arms out wide as a volley of pyrotechnics explode behind him. As they subside, the young man begins walking towards the ring, slapping the hands of any fan who reaches out to him. When he arrives at ringside, he hops onto the ring apron before hopping over the top-rope. He climbs onto a turnbuckle to strike a quick pose for the fans.

Jim Jackson: "Bain just last month took part in a Boleto Dorado match. He's the only participant from that last Boleto Dorado match to be part of this one."

Brad Blood: "Some guys really have all the luck. He can say he's got the most experience in this sort of match."

Jim Jackson: "He was eating catmeat in the last Boleto Dorado match."

Brad Blood: "That could help him with this match, in some small way."

Dragon by JAM Project plays as footage from an old Japanese anime runs on the Titan Tron, the lights go dim, and fog covers the stage.

Jasmine Lee: "Making his way to the ring, here is Musashi Kuruma!"

Once the music starts to become more lively, the lights return to their normal brightness and Musashi runs enthusiastically to the ring through the fog, followed by a line of fireworks down both sides of the ramp. Once inside the ring, he briefly stares at Shogun, before going to his corner to offer up a quick prayer to Buddha.

Jim Jackson: "What an eventful past few weeks it's been for Musashi!"

Brad Blood: "Not everyone here can say they've scored wins over Shogun and Q in back to back weeks. Even if Musashi needed help to beat Q, and even if he needed a lot of luck on his side when he went up against Shogun."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun was a sore loser in that match. Musashi managed to defeat Q for Q's title, but he in turn lost it when Taufik cashed in his Boleto Dorado on him. Despite that, Kuruma's confidence may be sky high right now, as he gets ready for this match."

Sisqo's "Thong Song" plays, as highlights of some of Tonelada's most daring police escapes are show on the titan tron. Tonelada himself comes out, taking a huge hit from his personal bong.

Jasmine Lee: "Making his way to the ring, here is Tonelada!"

Jim Jackson: "Tonelada returned to ULOL, scoring a disqualification win over fellow Boleto Dorado contender, AJ."

Brad Blood: "AJ was caught by the ref with a weapon in his hand and Tonelada out cold. What else was Jack B. Nimble going to think?"

Jim Jackson: "Tonelada immediately catapults himself into title contention if he wins this match. That goes for any one of these guys, but Tonelada's been on top in ULOL before. And can you imagine a scenario where we could have Tonelada as Primo Ultimo Champ, while Allister King's the GM?"

Jasmine Lee: "Making his way to the ring, here is the final contender for the Boleto Dorado match! Here is Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing!"

Nu-metal music begins to play, but is practically drowned out by the screaming cheers of the fans. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing comes out, raising his arms to acknowledge the fans.

Jim Jackson: "Two weeks ago, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing lost the title belt named after himself, thanks to inteference from Zombie. He could walk out of here with a guaranteed shot to replace the title he has lost."

Brad Blood: "The Correa Grande Del Oro De Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing was something he cooked up himself, because of how he said ULOL's championships were all tarnished by what Zombie and Marcus Troy did. But ULOL allowed him to defend his title in an ULOL ring whenever he could. From what I heard, Zombie costing him the belt has really got his goat. I'd be surprised if he doesn't use that as motivation to really take the fight to these other five guys in the ring with him."

Jim Jackson: "Brad, you talked earlier about how Shogun may have the biggest bullseye in this match. But Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is no slouch. He's wrestled all over the world. He's been in matches with high stakes."

Brad Blood: "Yeah, that big match he had against Vegismurf back in the earlier ULOL was basically to decide who won the war between Q's country and the smurfs. The Boleto Dorado may not be on the same level as a match that was gonna decide a literal war, but whoever wins this match is going to be on the mind of the Primo Ultimo Champ. Heck, depending who wins tonight, the only title that wouldn't be in danger of being cashed in on would the Campeon no Masculino."

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing has tangled with Musashi Kuruma and Shogun. Should be interesting to see how that plays out in this contenders' match."

Brad Blood: "Not like the others are all friendly to each other. Tonelada beat AJ just last week, and Bain is itching to do a whole lot better than how he did in his last Boleto Dorado match. By the way, what sorta match are we supposed to call?"

Jim Jackson: "I...don't have that in my notes, either."

Then, ULOL Intern Bob Bobbie comes out. He has a microphone and a clipboard.

Bob Bobbie: "Hi. I was just given this a few minutes ago. The GM wanted a special challenge for this Boleto Dorado. We'll be bringing the stuff you'll need for this match."

A staffer comes out, toting a small, wooden box, carrying it to the ring.

Brad Blood: "That doesn't look like a box of Free Cat. Maybe it's a kitty pack."

Bob Bobbie: "Okay. You will be challenging for the Boleto Dorado, and this match will be contested under..."

RUSSIAN ROULETTE

Everyone stares at the picture on the giant screen. Just as the staffer opens the wooden box, where we see a .44 Magnum, finished in sterling silver and outfitted with a pearl handle.

Jim Jackson: "WHAT"

Wrestlers immediately clear the ring. Most of them are quite angry as they start marching to Bob, who is still on the stage.

Bob Bobbie: "Hey, hey! I just got this note a few minutes ago! They just asked me to come out here and make the announcement!"

That doesn't appease the wrestlers at all. Many fans too are clearly shocked and irate over this development...though Shogun shoots an evil look at someone heckling them to "stop being pussies and go for it!"

Brad Blood: "This is...messed up!"

Bob Bobbie: "I don't like this match, either guys! All I was told was to announce the stips, and remind you that one of you is going home with that golden ticket! Please don't hurt me!"

Surprisingly, the angry wrestlers all stop in their tracks. They still shoot Bob outraged, murderous glares...but then turn around and walk back to the ring.

Jim Jackson: "These guys can just forfeit the match if they think this is too much."

Brad Blood: "I...don't think they're gonna drop out of this match."

Bob Bobbie: "Um. Okay. So....the Boleto Dorado winner will be decided by Russian Roulette. According to the notes they gave me, that means the winner is the last one left standing."

Bob looks up from his notes completely at a loss.

Brad Blood: "Did...we just switch over to the Darwin Awards here? What the hell is this!?"

Bob Bobbie: "So...that revolver's got five rounds. There's six of you. Each of you..."

Bob turns more pale with embarrassment as he adds more details on the rules of the match. He has the look SpongeBob would have, after selling Patrick to a Chinese medicinal shop.

Bob Bobbie: "Each of you has a turn with the gun. When it's your turn, you first roll the chamber, then stop it. Then you put it to your head and..."

Brad Blood: "This is messed up."

The staffer with the revolver demonstrates spinning the revolver's chamber, then stopping it at random.

Bob Bobbie: "So when your turn is done, pass it to the next contender. He'll spin the chamber, and pull the trigger. Keep doing that till....last one's left standing. So you just, uh, sort it out on who's going first. One of you is going home with that golden ticket. That's a guarantee."

Bob mouths "I'm sorry" to the contenders, before scurrying off the stage.

Jim Jackson: "They're really gonna do it!? This is insane!"

Jasmine Lee: "The...referee in charge is Don Q. Hotte. And now...LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man. Jasmine."

Jim Jackson: "They're all forming into a circle. Kuruma, Q, Tonelada, Bain, Shogun and AJ. They're all staring at the gun in front of them. I can't believe they're really going to do this."

Brad Blood: "Is it just me, or do they look...eager?"

Jim Jackson: "I don't think any of them were expecting to find themselves in a literal life or death scenario when they were drafted to do this match."

Brad Blood: "They've sacrificed their bodies to get to where they are now. What's another shot to the head, in the grand scheme of things? Tonelada's getting the gun. He's volunteering to go first."

Jim Jackson: "They showed the bullets in the gun. Even if they're blanks, shooting yourselves in the head is just....Tonelada does look a bit eager OH HE PULLED THE TRIGGER!"

Brad Blood: "OH! OH...oh shit."

Jim Jackson: "No bullet! He's still alive!"

Brad Blood: "HE'S POINTING THE GUN AT BAIN!"

Indeed, Tonelada points the gun at Christopher Bain. Only to leer at him as he surrenders the revolver to Bain.

Jim Jackson: "He's given Bain the gun! And Bain clearly did not like being spooked like that!"

Brad Blood: "If he doesn't like being spooked, how are we supposed to take this!"

Jim Jackson: "Christopher Bain is looking at the gun, like he's awed by it. It looks really well crafted."

Brad Blood: "And being a .44, you only need one shot."

Jim Jackson: "Q JUST TOOK THE GUN OUT OF BAIN'S HANDS! BAIN FOR SOME REASON IS ANGRY ABOUT IT!"

Brad Blood: "He WANTS the gun back!?"

Jim Jackson: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is adamant about going next! Don Q. Hotte trying to calm things down, even as Q is already spinning the chamber!"

Brad Blood: "Looks like AJ is lusting after the gun, too!"

Jim Jackson: "We're getting a feed from outside!"

The giant screen is suddenly showing parking lot. Zombie lurks in the dark, chasing the reporters who are Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's countrymen.

Jim Jackson: "Q IS BAILING OUT OF THE RING! HE'S GOING AFTER ZOMBIE!"

Brad Blood: "...HE JUST TOOK THE .44 WITH HIM!"

The other wrestlers yell after Q, telling him to bring the gun back.

Brad Blood: "I guess this means the match is over? Can't have Russian Roulette with no gun."

Jim Jackson: "Bob's coming back out again."

True enough, the intern is back on the stage, followed by the staff who brought out the Magnum. Said staffer is now carrying another package to the ring.

Bob Bobbie: "I came out here to make a related announcement about that .44 Magnum. We'll just be using a nerf revolver instead. The rules are still the same."

The remaining wrestlers are presented with a bright yellow gun. It's certainly not going to be mistaken for a real revolver, and it has a revolving chamber for the nerf darts.

Jim Jackson: "Nerf revolver?"

Brad Blood: "That's...a relief. I guess."

Some fans are heard booing heavily, not liking the change at all.

Jim Jackson: "Some of these people were looking forward to seeing these superstars blow their brains out! Who goes next?"

Brad Blood: "Looks like AJ."

Jim Jackson: "Looks like we've lost Q. So it's now down to five in Russian Roulette with a nerf gun. Saying that's almost as much of a mouthful as the Free Cat Challenge."

Brad Blood: "OMIGOD WHAT THE HELL!"

Jim Jackson: "AJ falls to the mat! He's...bleeding from the side of his head! What the hell!"

Brad Blood: "I thought that's a nerf gun!"

Jim Jackson: "The official is checking AJ! That...dart's crumbled to dust! It's...made of concrete!?"

Brad Blood: "Concrete nerf darts from point blank range!?"

Jim Jackson: "AJ is still conscious, but he's been eliminated! And now Shogun's getting the nerf gun!"

Brad Blood: "The former Primo Ultimo Champion looks like he's not quite sure what to make of this. At the same time...he and the others somehow look eager to be playing Russian Roulette. They want a title THAT BADLY enough to risk permanently ending their careers."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun rolls the chamber...puts the gun to his head and PULLS THE TRIGGER! AND NOTHING HAPPENED!"

Brad Blood: "He lasts another round!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun clearly pleased with the outcome! And he hands the gun to Christopher Bain."

Brad Blood: "Tonelada just took the gun from Bain. The guy's been taking hits from his bong for practically the whole match."

Jim Jackson: "That's the second time someone else has cut in on Christopher Bain to take the gun."

Brad Blood: "....and Christopher's not happy about it. I wonder why."

Jim Jackson: "Bain asking for the gun, but Tonelada's just ignoring him."

Brad Blood: "CRAP!"

Jim Jackson: "HE JUST SHOT BAIN IN THE FACE! HE SHOOTS SHOGUN AND MUSASHI IN THE HEAD!"

Brad Blood: "TONELADA'S GONE OUTTA CONTROL!"

Jim Jackson: "SHOGUN'S STARTING TO BLEED FROM HIS FOREHEAD! BAIN'S CHEEK BUSTED OPEN!"

Brad Blood: "MUSASHI'S FACE DOWN ON THE MAT! TONELADA'S CELEBRATING!"

Jim Jackson: "You...could win Russian Roulette this way!?"

Brad Blood: "Bob said last man standing wins! I think Tonelada just interpreted the rules that way! Or maybe he's too high to care either way!"

Tonelada gleefully laughs as he scares away the referee by pointing the nerf gun at him. He then takes another long puff from his bong, while pretending to shoot a few more times at his fallen opponents.

Jim Jackson: "He's just mocking them!"

Musashi Kuruma slowly gets up as Tonelada makes PEW PEW PEW! sounds with his gun. Then he points the nerf gun to his own head and pulls the trigger.

Brad Blood: "OH! OHHH!"

Jim Jackson: "HE JUST SHOT HIMSELF!"

Brad Blood: "HE'S GOT CONCRETE DUST ON THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD! THERE WAS STILL ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE DARTS IN THAT GUN!"

Jim Jackson: "Kuruma's...HE'S UNSCATHED!"

Brad Blood: "I don't believe this."

Jim Jackson: "He's got no sign of nerf dart injury! He's...he has the dart in his hand!"

Brad Blood: "He caught that thing with his bare hands!?"

Jim Jackson: "That nerf dart never made it to his head!"

Shogun too is getting to his feet, just as the referee raises Kuruma's hand.

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen! Here is the winner of the Boleto Dorado! Musashi Kuruma!"

Brad Blood: "Tonelada overplayed his hand!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun can't believe what just happened! Neither does Musashi Kuruma! He now has a guaranteed title shot at any title he wants to go for!"

Brad Blood: "Someone better check on Shogun and the others!"

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

'Warriors Code' by Dropkick Murphys hits the arena speakers, the crowd leaps to their feet and erupt into deafinig cheers in anticipation of who is about to come out. After a few moments Raven Connoly runs out onto the stage, she has on ripped jeans, a red baby t shirt, her red hair is down as opposed to her usual pig tails, and over her shoulder is the Champeon No Masclino. Raven takes the belt and raises it above her head, she throws her head back and lets out a scream as fireworks erupt behind her. Raven throws the belt back over her shoulder and begins her decent down the ramp, slapping as many of her fans hands as possible. Raven rolls into the ring and runs to one of the turnbuckles, she holds the belt above her head again as the fans cheer, she does the same at each corner before settling in the middle of the ring. She smiles broadly as she listens to the fans cheer.

Raven Connoly: "Finally, Raven Connoly is champion again."

The fans again erupt into loud cheers.

Raven Connoly: "Before I say anything though, I owe somebody an apology, and that person is Boy Bakla."

The fans begin to boo as a look of confusion rolls over the crowd.

Raven Connoly: "Hear me out. You see it's not easy being a girl in this business, this is s mans business, and a lot of them don't take kindly to women in the midst. All my career I've been told I can only compete for the womens titles, I can't go for the other titles, those are for the men. Yes, I realize the irony that I am currently holding this federations title, I mean no disrespect, Im proud to wear this title. My point is I was told that's all I could be, well I didn't let that stop me, I fought, I bleed, I proved I could run with the big boys. No matter what I was told I couldn't do, I did it anyway. As a result I have been the World Heavywieght Champion in two major federations, and trust me I'll be the top champion here someday as well."

Raven Connoly: "Anyway, my point is I did the same thing to Boy Bakla. I told..., I told her she didn't have the right to compete for this title, I said she didn't belong. If Boy Bakla wants to be a woman, and if she has gone through the pain of surgerys to become one, then she has every right to compete for the Champeon No Masclino. All my life I was told I couldn't do what I wanted, and it hurt me, and I'm ashamed that I did the same thing. Now I still don't agree with how Boy Bakla competes, I still think she's a cheater and underhanded. However, she has a right to do what she wants, and I apologize that I said other wise."

The fans are silent for a moment, then slowly they begin to clap and cheer until the whole arena is cheering again.

Raven Connoly: "Now what brought all this on you ask? Well, as you know I have a three way elimination championship match with Lucian and Taufik tonight. Last week Taufik said he was insulted that he has to be in a match with a girl. So even still, Im not accepted by all, earlier tonight Lucian implied he was looking forward to the match so he could roll around and get all sweaty with me, so even now, after all I've done, some people don't take me seriously as a competitor. Well my question to you two is how many World Titles have you two won?"

The crowd jumps to their feet and cheer, then they begin to chant 'Raven'

Raven Connoly: "Thank you, you have always stood by me and I'm thankful for that. Well, I won't underestimate Lucian or Taufik, I know what both of them can do, but it looks like once again Raven has to put the boys in their place and prove herself again. So tonight, ULOL's favorite sweetheart WILL walk away the winner, and prove who's the top champion of this match!!"

Raven drops the mic as the chants and cheers reach a peak. Raven rolls out of the ring and makes her way up the ramp, catching the fans she missed on the way in. She reaches the stage, holds the belt over her head and screams one more time before disappearing backstage.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

The scene opens upon a hallway. Well lit, considering that it's a hallway that seems relatively un-traveled. The camera man's breathing is the only sound to be heard, except for a slight buzz from one of the light bulbs. As the scene settles over the next few seconds, a faint voice can be heard emitting from one of the nearby doors. The shot moves toward the door from which the voice coming from. The door is cracked, conveniently, and the camera man reaches one of his hands out and pushes the door open. It reveals a man with his back to the camera and a cell phone on his ear, which is probably who he was talking to; wearing a brown leather jacket and some blue jeans. As the camera pushes through, the man begins speaking to whoever is on the other line again, causing the camera man to pause.

Man: "清をはい。私は時間を残して申し訳ありません。しかし-"

The camera man knocks on the door, interrupting the man and causing him to turn around, revealing a face some might recognize as Andrew Hunter. He puts the phone back to his lips for a moment.

Andrew Hunter: "私は行かなくてはいけません。後日、大丈夫連絡ですか?"

Andrew Hunter puts clips the cell phone closed, directing his eyes toward the ground.

Andrew Hunter: "Well, took you long enough."

Andrew Hunter puts the phone in one of his vest pockets and looks up from the ground, fixing a gaze on the camera lens.

Andrew Hunter: "As usual, I'm not considered important enough for an interview; but at least I can still get time to state my mind, eh? Heh... I'm sure my termination of my contract came as a surprise to some. But I had my reasons."

The former wrestler looks back down at the ground for a moment, but his eyes quickly dart back up to the camera.

Andrew Hunter: "You know what this is called? This; me talking to the camera while the poor worker has to sit through me ranting? I call it my 'camera time'. I don't ask for much, not even to be interviewed, but I do request stating my mind. After ULOL's first show ended, I couldn't get anything. Not an interview, camera time, or even a decent match. But you know what really motivated me to leave? Well... lets face it; I was doing horrible. I never even won a match. I neede more training. More experience. So, I went back to where I began my wrestling career; Japan, and spent my year's worth bettering my career there."

Andrew's eyes dart back at the ground, this time remaining there.

Andrew Hunter: "But now I'm back; improved, too. This time I think I'll be here for good, so if you'd excuse me, I have to go bribe Allister with a beer so he signs my contract."

Andrew walks toward the camera and the camera man steps back, allowing him to pass. The shot turns, watching his back as he walks away, down the hall.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

One half of Campeones Companero is sitting on the couch and having a glass of juice in his hands, at the locker room of Age of Pain. He is a re-watching moment of the last week show. How he retained Campeones Companero title. It was more than a good moment there I even could say that it was an unbelievable episode.

Taufik is pacing around the locker room with his Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik and thinking about his opponents tonight. Taufik ain't the only one that is involved in the Pay-Per-View as all of the member are involved in this as well. Everyone will be defending their title tonight respectively. Before Manolo steps into the locker room, Taufik starts to speak to the members of "The Age Of Pain."

Taufik: "You know I have to say Alexander, I was impressed with what you did last week and with that I gained a bit more trust in ya and that's good. Keep up the good work Alexander. Tonight gentleman, we are all going to be involved in this Pay-Per-View and this is the first in both "The Age Of Pain" and ULOL books as all the wrestler in a stable that is holding titles. All three of you are defending your titles here and I am going to be in a Three way dance match a I'm facing both Lucian Balckheart and Raven Connoly."

Taufik took a glass of water to quench his thirst before continuing.

Taufik: ""We are all now going to show that we are the greatest stable that ULOL has ever seen. I will make sure to destroy Lucian's streak so I will be known as the man that ended his streak when he became champion and you guys will be retaining your respective title and were going to leave the Pay-Per-View as Champions."

Taufik stops as he awaits for his compatriots to speak.

It is then that the Age of Pain's manager makes his entrance. Manolo Ferrer nods his greetings with his clients. He eyes Taufik briefly, having overheard his latest champion's to his teammates.

Mr. Ferrer taps Taufik's shoulder in an encouraging gesture, before speaking to the whole group.

Manolo Ferrer: "I just met with our Vice General Manager. I've managed to get a fairer deal for your title defense, Mr. Conway. Since your opponent is legally dead, there's no real reason to hold back and worry about crippling him. We should completely devote as much effort as we can to help Zombie move on to the next stage in his career, as fertilizer."

Mr. Ferrer points to GoodFella.

Manolo Ferrer: "This is your biggest title defense yet. Three teams all at once. They're not hiding the fact that they're hungry, and I wouldn't be surprised if they come after you and Mr. Schwarz all at the same time. But this is why we're in this match in the first place: you've turned back their challenges every time. The stakes are higher now, but imagine what happens when you and Mr. Schwarz beat them all."

Manolo Ferrer then walks up to Taufik. He looks at Taufik's championship, before facing the camera.

Manolo Ferrer: "This man's name trended on Twitter all of last week. It's good to see so many reactions to Mr. Taufik winning a title, especially in this locker room. For the past several days, we've had to listen to certain individuals mock my client for his championship. These critics didn't make a single peep when someone else was defending this title, long before Mr. Taufik won it. That bothers me."

Mr. Ferrer points to his client's championship belt. He goes on, calm and even in what he has to say.

Manolo Ferrer: "Let me repeat: this title has been contested in ULOL before my client won it. It was defended in matches barely six weeks ago. Where were you people the whole time this was happening? I see a rather nasty double standard being practiced against Mr. Taufik. Everyone from Mr. Conway's former waterboy, to the self-professed Demonic God had something to say. Maybe for Mr. Shogun, it's just him projecting his frustration that Mr. Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing has totally driven the conversation about him since last year."

Mr. Ferrer wraps his arm behind Taufik's shoulders.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Taufik is walking into his match with his title. He's going to do something the other two champions can't, or won't, do, and that's put his title up for a defense. And he's going to win his match. Mr. Conway is going to win over Zombie, and hopefully do the human race a favor in the process. Mr. Bold and Mr. Schwarz are going to show everyone why they're the Campeones Companero. The rest of you are going to enjoy the show."

Manolo Ferrer taps the title on Taufik's waist, before stepping back.

Taufik steps to the front as he going to continue his talk with more confidence now after what Manolo Ferrer said to encourage him.

Taufik: "You've heard what Mr. Manolo has say, I've been trending on twitter the whole of last week and right now Mr. Manolo and I are half expecting some talk show for me and everyone. Now to the triangle elimination match, as I'm being the bigger man putting my title on the line to show that I am a better champion and with this defense, it will give me more of the reason to be more credible as I pin my opponents, and that includes you Lucian Blackheart."

Taufik looks at his comrades then turns back to the camera and continues to speak

Taufik: "Tonight, "The Age Of Pain" as a group, are all making history ,as tonight we are the only ones who will defend our titles and will retain it. They all once say that our group is nothing but a joke. But think again Assholes, now these "jokes" is the one force that you can't mess with at all."

Taufik awaits for either Goodfella or Alexander to make their statement.

Alexander emits a sigh. He's sitting on a chair taping up his wrists for his match, but stops momentarily to address the group.

Alexander Conway: "Don't get used to me helping you guys out, I have my own agenda after all. But, you can think Mr. Ferrer for giving me an incentive to save those little tag titles."

Continuing the taping, Alexander stops talking until it's done. He then leans back in his chair.

Alexander Conway: "And yes, Mr. Ferrer, I am going to defeat Zombie. He had his chance at life, and he died. He failed at living, someone should really show him to the door that will end his existance here. Unfortunately for him, that person is going to be me. Zombie thinks he has me in a corner and is already thinking that he's going to be feasting tonight, but that is not the case. Zombie will learn this the hard way tonight. No mercy for the damned, this match will mark the end of him. I'm going to take out his spine, then I'm going to cut him into a lot of little pieces, then I'm going to destroy his brain, and finally, I will burn almost all of his flesh! Then, my proxy will bite into the little piece I've left, and end the match with me being the winner."

As Alexander finishes speaking, he reaches downwards into a duffle bag and begins searching through it. He pulls out a lighter, which he quickly shoves down into one of his boots. That's not all he wants apparently, for he soon pulls out a bottle of Bacardi 151 and a meat cleaver, both of which he sets onto the floor beside his bag. Next, he pulls out a pill bottle. He dumps a few tablets out onto his hand before sealing and then dropping the container back into his duffel bag. The pills soon disappear into one of his elbow pads. Finally, Alexander pulls out a railroad spike. He slips this weapon down into his other boot before zipping up his duffel bag.

GoodFella is smiling like he always do and want to say some words.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Now they are desperate and like Manolo Ferrer said these guys going to do everything to get back at us. So we gonna be target #1 in that match. However, it is okay with me and Felix. Despite all odds at the end GoodFella & Schwarz is going to be standing Campeones Companero once again."

He makes a pause and drinks juice before he continues to say what he wants.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "I know that stakes are higher every time I am in a match with those chumps. But don't get me wrong we cannot underestimate them."

He turns his attention to the Conway.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Well, we all have our own agenda Alex. Nevertheless, despite everything I want to thank you for saving my ass, I mean our ass in that match."

The Age of Pain continues their talk as the scene fades to black.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:41 am

The arena lights turn purple and start to flicker. "Kill Everybody by SKRILLEX" blasts through the arena speakers as the arena fills with purple smoke. Purple and white spotlights scatter around the arena and then shines on and follow Lucian Blackheart as he makes his way to the ring posing and interacting with the fans.

Lucian Blackheart: "Ladies and Gentlemen. United League of Lucian fans. So I'm sure you've all noticed that the match card isn't very exciting, and for that I apologize. Supposedly my title belt is useless. Now I'm completely fine with your opinions Ray Kamura.. You big dopey bitch. But let me set the facts straight. This belt sweetly resting on my shoulder shows all the fans of viewers of ULOL that I am the best in the lightweight division. What do you have to show for yourself, Ray? Don't even bother mentioning your 12 dollar hair cut, your pea sized brain, and I suppose how when you're wrestling you occasionally get camel toes which shows there's nothing there.. If you know what I mean. I even had you googled out of curiosity and it came up with 'no results found'."

Lucian Blackheart pauses for a brief moment as laughter gets the best of him.

Lucian Blackheart: "I'm sorry. Now onto more important matters. Tonight I will be participating in a Three Champions Elimination Battle. Now what I am confused about is why Taufik will be in this match too? Personally I wish he wasn't. Before you assume things, Taufik does not intimidate me. But I say this because I'd love to wrestle Raven Connoly alone. 10 minutes, sweat rolling off of each other, rolling around the mat in quite bizarre positions. Not something I'd fantasize about if Taufik or any other male wrestler.. or I suppose Boy Bakla, were in this match. You say that you'd rather fight me one-on-one, Taufik. But you need to stop lying to yourself and the other members of your so called stable. You're going to need her help if you even expect a chance at defeating me, Taufik."

Lucian Blackheart drops the mic as mixed reactions come from the crowd."Kill Everybody by SKRILLEX" blasts over the arena speakers as Lucian Blackheart makes his way backstage.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Ray Kamaura is seen sitting in the DWMA locker room with Leon Hinomoto and Yuki Monotomo. Ray looks around and inspects the two men that he is sitting by. They are all wearing there ring gear.

Ray Kamaura: "The DWMA is all together now.It really makes me remember the good old days. Now we have some things to talk about, sort of like Shoguns's State of the ULOL address. Except this time it will be relevent. The Age of Pain and the DWMA seem to be locked in a stable war."

Ray pauses but then goes on.

Ray Kamaura: So far all that has really been done is Manolo and myself have argued back and forth. Then i may or may not have lay'd a whooping on him. Anyway the point is that I have taken the wrong approach. We need to turn our attention to Goodfella & Schwarz. Leon and myself will worry about them. Yuki you should just try and work your way up the ladder until you can stand toe to toe with Taufik or Conway."

Ray Kamaura turns around and grabs a small booklet. He hands to to Yuki.

Ray Kamaura: "That is a couple of our tag team moves. I want you to learn them because chances are we will be fighting together. Also i think we should keep a keen eye on the other tag teams in the ULOL. The IRA may be drunken morons but it seems to work for them. So tonight we must try and get them eliminated first. Alister seems to pull wins out of his ass. Oriental Spices are next on the list. Nao Fook Mi maybe a girl but she hits hard. Little Wang is small but he is also very slippery we have to hit him hard a fast."

Ray waits for his team to reply.

Yuki opens the booklet and sighs.

Yuki Monotomo: "The moves for tags? I'll read it. But uh..."

Yuki closes the booklet and leans forward.

Yuki Monotomo: "So... I want some rice now..."

Yuki smirks pervertedly.

Yuki Monotomo: "Or would it just screw things up?"

Yuki chuckles to himself.

Yuki Monotomo: "Like last time!"

Yuki begins to stand up and looks at the clock.

Yuki Monotomo: "By the way, will I get some training done, or am I just going straight into a match?"

Yuki leaves the locker room to train.

The expressions on Leon's face change many time as he mulls over exactly what to say.

Leon Hinomoto: "The rain is coming. I predict a flash flood for the ULOL in effect for tonight."

Leon looks to Ray who is shocked at the statement Leon just made. They both bust out laughing.

Leon Hinomoto: "Wow, That was cheesy even for me. I won't make anymore bad jokes, ok? Good. I was thinking that tonight we could actually do it, we could actually win the match. We have come so far in just a small amount of time. We can't fail. We missed our last chance to win the titles. So let us just try to hold on. Let us out power and out maneuver our opposition. The IRA, The Oriental Spices, and The Age of Pain must bow before the DWMA. Let's go out there and bring the pain. Hell, Ray, let's make it Rain."

The scene fades to black

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

The arena blacks out. The fans start to cheer as words appear on the titantron.

LUCIAN BLACKHEART.

The words fade out. New ones appear.

YOUR DAYS AS A ULOL CHAMPION ARE NUMBERED.

The words fade out again.

THERE IS ONE MAN WHO TOOK YOU TO THE LIMIT. ONE MAN WHO WAS CLOSE TO DEFEATING YOU.

The words fade just like the others.

HE IS COMING.

The words fade.

BACK!!

The lights put on a crazy sequence as the word flash and then fade out. The lights resume their neutral positions as some fans cheer whilst others look bewildered. The scene fades.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Correa10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Lucian10

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Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ravenc10

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Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Taufik11

Jim Jackson: "In a surprise booking we now have a three-way champions elimination match between three of ULOL's title holders. Lucian Blackheart who represents the Ligero Maximo divison, Raven Connoly who represents the Campeón no Masculino division and Taufik who is the holder of the Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik."

Brad Blood: "And in a surprise move Taufik decides to put his belt on the line. Seriously this was a non-title match, why would you decide to stake your title in a non-title match?!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a three-way champions elimination match and is for the Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik! Introducing first, he is your current and reigning ULOL Ligero Maximo, Lucian Blackheart!"

The arena lights turn purple and start to flicker. "Kill Everybody by SKRILLEX" blasts through the arena speakers as the arena fills with purple smoke. Purple and white spotlights scatter around the arena and then shines on and follow Lucian Blackheart as he makes his way to the ring posing and interacting with the fans.

Jim Jackson: "Lucian Blackheart has defended his title in every turn ever since winning it, completely dominating the Ligero Maximo division."

Brad Blood: "Well what's next for him, his odds of winning the Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik is good tonight. Maybe he may go after the Primo Ultimo next."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, she is your current and reigning, ULOL Campeón no Masculino"

"Warriors Code" By The Dropkick Murphy's starts to play throughout the arena. Raven runs out onto the stage, she throws her fist in the air and screams as a barrage of fireworks go off behind her.

Jim Jackson: "Raven may be the women's champ or when translated more faithfully, the non-masculine champ but she can stand toe to toe and trade punches with any male wrestler in the roster."

Brad Blood: "And best of all she's hot."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing last, he is your current and reigning ULOL Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik, Taufik!"

"All that Remains" started playing as Taufik walks out and pryos started to come out as he makes his way to the ring with his trusty Singapore Cane. When he reaches the ring, he raises his Singapore Cane as another set of pryos come out before he waits for his victim.

Jim Jackson: "Taufik finally enters the ring, his title is the one on the line tonight, a title that holds many questions. Due to not being an official ULOL title, many have questioned it's credibility but one thing is for sure, after tonight's match, this title will hold a level of prestige comparable to any ULOL title."

Brad Blood: "Still putting the title on the line was a stupid move."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Kick from Raven Connoly to the leg keeps Lucian Blackheart back. Taufik charges into a dropkick sending him staggering to the ropes. Raven blocks Blackheart's right fist and counters with a knee to the gut followed by a neckbreaker."

Brad Blood: "Whoa! Taufik throws caution to the wind and charges in! Raven spins away at the last second and dodges Taufik's spear! TAUFIK SPEARS THE LIGERO MAXIMO CHAMP INSTEAD!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven with an enziguri takes Taufik down! Raven quickly hooks the leg of Lucian Blackheart who she perceives as a bigger threat!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Blackheart kicks out. Raven picks Blackheart up and is going for a suplex... Oh! She's stopped by a double axe handle at the back by Taufik!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven takes a kick to the chest from Tau, and staggers back. Lucian Blackheart spins Taufik around... Tau blocks a punch and sends Blackheart to the ropes with an Irish whip... Taufik hits a bulldog off the ropes on Blackheart."

Brad Blood: "Raven whips Taufik around and sends him to the ropes with an Irish whip... NO! Reversed by Taufik! Taufik charges in..."

Jim Jackson: "Taufik hits a bulldog off the ropes on Raven too. Taufik hooks Raven's leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Raven kicks out! Raven battles her way to her feet... both Raven and Taufik are throwing punches... Blackheart is up on the top turnbuckle... He's gonna fly..."

Jim Jackson: "FLYING CROSSBODY SPLASH TAKES BOTH WRESTLERS DOWN! Blackheart gets back up. DDT on Raven! Lucian Blackheart climbs to the top turnbuckle... DIVING HEADBUTT RIGHT ON TAUFIK!! Lucian Blackheart whips the opponent to the turnbuckle following through with a leaping shining wizard. Lucian Blackheart then springboards off the second rope and kicks the opponent in the temple executing a deathly Four of a Kind! LUCIAN HOOKS TAUFIK BY THE LEG!!!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "TAUFIK JUST GOT ELIMINATED!!! THIS MEANS THAT THERE WILL BE A NEW CORREA GRANDE DEL ORO DE WHOEVER! WAHAHAHA! I knew it was a bad move putting the Correa title on the line."

Jim Jackson: "The ref sends Taufik out of the ring who is still in shock over his loss... Lucian Blackheart goes to work on Raven....Blackheart strikes away at Raven Connoly. Flying elbow off the top rope by Lucian Blackheart! Blackheart hooks the leg..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Raven kicks out! Blackheart can practically taste the title now... He is going for a suplex... NO! Blocked by Raven Connoly!"

Jim Jackson: "Raven with an Irish whip sends Lucian Blackheart to the ropes... Raven with a clothesline... Lucian Blackheart ducks under it! Blackheart bounces back on the ropes with a shoulder block... Raven spins out of the way!"

Brad Blood: "BLACKHEART HITS THE REF INSTEAD! THE REF IS DOWN! Raven spins Blackheart around... He blocks the high kick and nails Raven with a European uppercut!"

Jim Jackson: "Russian legsweep takes Raven down! Blackheart goes high risk and climbs the top turnbuckle..."

Brad Blood: "TAUFIK JUST NAILS BLACKHEART FROM BEHIND WITH HIS SINGAPORE CANE!!! BLACKHEART FALLS TO THE CANVAS! Taufik enters the ring... HE HITS A COUPLE MORE SHOTS AT BLACKHEART! Man he's really miffed for losing his title and he's putting all the blame on Blackheart... Taufik exits the ring as the referee comes to..."

Jim Jackson: "Raven Connoly gets up oblivious to what just happened... She crawls to Blackheart's unconscious body... Goes for the cover..."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and NEW Correa Grande Del Oro De Raven Connoly! Raven Connoly!"

Brad Blood: "OH MY GOD! RAVEN DID IT! RAVEN WON THE BELT! SHE IS THE FIRST DOUBLE CHAMPION HERE IN ULOL! WAIT! Taufik spins Raven around as the ref is handing her the belt she just won... TAUFIK TAKES RAVEN OUT WITH HIS SINGAPORE CANE! Man Taufik is really angry..."

Jim Jackson: "That was totally uncalled for, Taufik was the one who put his belt on the line. He has no reason to throw his anger out at Raven or at Blackheart at all... Taufik finally exits the ring after leaving two bodies strewn inside the ring as the EMTs quickly rush in to inspect the damage he has done..."

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Bob Bobbie is checking some items with some of the backstage crew, while crates and containers of different sizes are being moved about.

Bob Bobbie: "Hey, what's that doing here? Did the GM order one of these?"

Bob points to a gambling table sitting idly beside the wall. Before anyone can answer, a woman wearing what looks like a uniform - white dress shirt, blank pants, green vest and tie - approaches him. Her voice is heavily accented.

Woman: "I'm Dasha. I was told ULOL asked for roulette table. Here paperwork. Where you want table to go, tovarisch?"

Bob checks the procurement form he's been given, before staring at the stranger speaking to him.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:41 am

Little Wang: "Another chance! This could be it Fook Mi, this could be our night!"

The voice of the midget wrestler Little Wang is so excitedly loud, not only does it echo in their locker room walls, it is heard beyond the doors of their locker room. He jumps up and down on the bench like Tom Cruise in Oprah.

Little Wang: "I can feel it Fook Mi, this is our night. Sure our luck may have been rotten these past few months but I think we have what it takes to win the tag titles away from GoodFella & Schwarz."

Just then a knock is heard on the door. Little Wang does a backflip and lands on the floor. He walks over to the door and opens it. A delivery boy is seen holding a paper bag looking confused as to who opened the door not realizing if he only looked down he would have seen Little Wang.

Little Wang: "Down here buddy."

The delivery boy finally turns his attention the where the voice came from.

Delivery Boy: "Oh solly, I flom Shao Pien Chinese Fast Food and I looking fo Little Wang."

Little Wang: "That's me."

The delivery boy nods and hands the paper bag to Wang.

Delivery Boy: "Oh, here your oder of flied wanton, mapo tofu, Yang Chow flied lice and stil flied noodles. We also give you flee fortune cookie. That be twelve dollahs please."

Little Wang takes the bag and hands fifteen dollars to the boy.

Little Wang: "Here you go, keep the change... And can you stop doing that accent? It makes us look bad."

Delivery Boy: "Oh sorry, the Americans get a kick out of it so I do it often that it became a habit... Anyway thanks mister."

The boy happily runs off, Little Wang turns to his tag team partner raising the bag.

Little Wang: "Well the food is here. Might as well have something to eat before it gets cold."

Little Wang sets the food down and begins to break open a pair of disposable chopsticks which refuses to break down in the middle.

Nao Fook Mi: "I hate it when they don't break from the middle."

Fook Mi moseys over and checks the food, popping a fried wanton into her mouth before settling on the stir fried noodles.

Nao Fook Mi: "Well I'm not one to count our chickens before they hatch Wang. It'd be great if we win this time and finally get our due but we are against three other tough teams, we have a battle on our hands."

Fook Mi takes a mouthful of noodles, chews and swallows them before continuing.

Nao Fook Mi: "Well whatever the results, we still show the fans what we are made of. Win or lose, we make sure that those other teams really have to battle for those tag titles if they want to win. We are not going to bend over for them."

Fook Mi then notices the fortune cookie in the bag.

Nao Fook Mi: "Hmm... A fortune cookie, you think it can really tell us our fortune?"

Fook Mi breaks open the fortune cookie and unrolls the small piece of paper inside. Little Wang looks over her shoulders and the both read what was written.

Four teams of two shall battle, only one team shall win.

Nao Fook Mi: "Oh that was helpful... Stupid fortune."

Fook Mi clearly disappointed on the fortune crumples it and throws it away...

Nao Fook Mi: "Well maybe we'll be the winning team eh Wang?"

Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi continue to eat and discuss their strategy for their match later as the scene fades to black.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Allist11

Allister King and Samantha Collins are sitting in the office. Allister has a look of emptiness about him

Samantha Collins: "Allister, What's the matter?"

Allister slowly raises his head and turns to Sami.

Allister King: "What ya talking about?"

Samantha Collins: "What am I talking about? You haven't been drinking today. Something is definitely up with ya."

Allister King: "I just have a bad feeling and can't seem to lift a bottle."

Sami comforts Allister

Samantha Collins: "Nothing bad is going to happen."

Allister King: "I don't believe you. Whenever someone says something like that I mean something bad IS gonna happen."

Samantha Collins: "Look calm down, have a smoke."

Allister King: "I guess you're right."

Allister lights a cigarette but has started to tremble.

Samantha Collins: "Okay you are in no state to be wrestling later."

Allister King: "I can. I will just somehow get drunk before the match."

Samantha Collins: "Close your eyes."

Allister closes his eyes. Sami picks up the bottle of whiskey and sticks it in his mouth. Allister is forced to down a full bottle of whiskey

Allister King: "I feel so much bet......."

Allister barfs into a bucket.

Allister King: "Oh that's never happened before."

Samantha Collins: "I think its just stress."

Allister King: "But I still can't shake his feeling of some sort of appending doom."

Samantha Collins: "Seriously you have been watching to many movies."

Allister King: "Anyway I think I'm prepared for my match."

Allister has a strange look on his face still but he seems more relaxed. The Camera fades to black

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Behind12

Yuki and Ray are shouting at each other.

Ray Kamaura: "NO! YOU SUPERKICK!"

Yuki Monotomo: "WHAT'S A SUPERKICK!"

Ray Kamaura: "LIKE THIS DUMBASS!"

Ray superkicks the dummy in front of them.

Yuki Monotomo: "Ooooh! I get it now!"

Yuki attempts the superkick and falls on his behind. Ray sarcastically speaks.

Ray Kamaura: "Oh, goddammit Yuki. It must be my apparent erection."

Yuki stands up, laughing.

Yuki Monotomo: "I saw that the other night. Hilarious stuff."

Ray Kamaura: "Shut up or I'll End Game you."

Yuki turns around and superkicks the dummy.

Yuki Monotomo: "Well let's call it a day. I'm gonna find a lovely lady."

Yuki begins leaving with his hands folded behind his head. Ray shouts after him.

Ray Kamaura: "YOU HORNY BASTARD!"

The scene cuts to black.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

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Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Campea10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Allist10

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Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Scottl10

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Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Arnold10

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Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Felixs10

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Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Leonhi10

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Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Raykam10

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Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Little10

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Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Naofoo11

Jim Jackson: "Coming up next we have some great tag action, four teams battling for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero, will we have new tag champions or will GoodFella & Schwarz retain?"

Brad Blood: "I hate to admit it Jim but GoodFella & Schwarz seem to have the best odds here based on my bookie."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a four-way elimination tag team match and it is for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero! Introducing first, he is the general manager of ULOL Allister King and Scott Logan, The I. R. A.!"

''The Blood Of Cuchulainn'' begins to blast from the PA system as Allister King and Scott Logan walk out onto the entrance ramp wearing trench coats and sunglasses. The both light a cigarette and continue to walk down to the ring. They stop on the way down to have a quick pint with some of the fans. They both stomp out their cigarettes and enter the ring. As they stand side by side in the middle of the ring with their heads down, they reach in their pockets and take out bottles of whiskey. They open them, hold them up to the crowd and drinks about half the bottle. They remove their coats and sunglasses and stagger over to their corner.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, they are your ULOL Campeónes Compañero, the team of Arnold "GoodFella" Bold and Felix Schwarz, GoodFella & Schwarz!"

"Fire Flame" by Birdman starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again and Felix and Arnold are standing in the middle of the ring and waving to their fans.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, they are the team of Little Wang and Nao Fook Mi, Oriental Spices!"

Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. Little Wang pops up from in between her legs. They quickly makes their way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. They bow and give their respect to the crowd before heading to their corner.

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing last, they are the team of Leon Hinomoto and Ray Kamaura, The DWMA!"

The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura and Leon walk slowly to the start of the ramp. Following behind is Yuki Monotomo. All three superstars stop and the lights turn back on after lightning strikes behind them. The lasers continue as Ray and Leon slowly enter the ring. Yuki poses for the fans then runs to the apron. They go to diffrent ring posts and climb them, then strike a pose. Yuki slides in the ring and humps the air in the direction of the female fans, then moves to the outside. Ray and Leon move to the same side of the ring and wait for thier challengers. Yuki moves back to the barrier and starts talking to the ladies.

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for the match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Starting off is Allister King and Ray Kamaura! And there goes Kamaura as the bell sounds. King trips on his own feet and rams into Ray Kamaura's belly! King bounces off! Kamaura picks King up for a bear hug... King hits a right hand prompting Kamaura to release him. Running knee lift from Allister King or it looks more like an accidental knee..."

Brad Blood: "Allister has the advantage, he has Kamaura set up for a face buster... Wait I think he's reaching for his flask... IT'S EMPTY! He stumbles back to his corner for a refill leaving Kamaura. King accidentally tags in his partner while reaching for some whiskey!"

Jim Jackson: "Scott Logan stumbles over and somehow scores a back heel kick on Kamaura! But wait the kick does little damage, Logan runs around the ring celebrating a back heel kick and gets take down with a huge clothesline! Kamaura picks Logan up... Chokeslam! Legdrop by Kamaura right on Logan's chest. Kamaura dor the pin."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Logan manages to kick out. Logan rolls away out of Kamuara's grasp... Logan charges towards Kamaura with a spear... HE BOUNCES OFF KAMAURA! Looks like he charged into a brick wall."

Jim Jackson: "Irish whip by Kamaura sends Logan crashing to the corner. Ray Kamaura prepares for a big body avalanche... BLIND TAG BY ARNOLD "GOODFELLA" BOLD! Kamaura got too close to GoodFella & Schwarz's corner and got blind tagged. GoodFella lands a few good punches before hitting a body slam... Stump piledriver by GoodFella!"

Brad Blood: "Arnold "GoodFella" Bold drags Logan to their corner and tags in his partner. Felix Schwarz leaps over the top rope and hits a leg drop on the hunched form of Logan, what an entrance."

Jim Jackson: "GoodFella & Schwarz whip Logan into the corner. Arnold "GoodFella" Bold whips Felix Schwarz in for a hard clothesline to follow-up! Brilliant double team from the champions. Schwarz for the pin..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Kick out by Logan. That's amazing resilience, kicking out after getting beat up like that. Schwarz with a headlock but Logan pushes out of it!"

Jim Jackson: "Logan with a trips and somehow transitions into a massive spinning kick which connects to Schwarz's jaw! Logan tags out to Nao Fook Mi! Nao Fook Mi hits a rolling kick on Schwarz. Fook Mi for the pin... Schwarz kicks out before the ref can count."

Brad Blood: "Schwarz goes to the I. R. A.'s corner and tags in Logan again. Good strategy, keeping their own team fresh while tagging in the enemy team. Logan ducks below a kick by Fook Mi."

Jim Jackson: "Scott Logan strikes Fook Mi. Logan drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Spinning bulldog in the corner, Logan is down. Fook Mi drags Logan to their corner... Tag to Wang... Nao Fook Mi Irish whips her opponent to the ropes, as her opponent bounces back she goes down on all fours and Little Wang uses her back to springboard and hit a dropkick to the opponent's face, as the opponent falls, Nao Fook Mi executes a standing shooting star press executing a Five Star Spice! Wang for the pin."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "The I. R. A. has been eliminated! Three teams left! Leon Hinomoto jumps in... Delayed hangman's neckbreaker by Rainman on Wang! Rainman hits a spin kick to the jaw! Little Wang is down. Rainman for the pin."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Wang gets a shoulder up! Tag to Ray Kamaura. Powerful Spear by Ray Kamaura. Double Arm DDT by Kamaura, Wang got destroyed! Kamaura with his full gigantic weight sits down on Wang... Wang tries to get a shoulder up but can't..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "And Wang gets eliminated by someone six, no seven times his own body weight. Kamaura could have just sat down on Wang from the start and pinned him right off the bat."

Jim Jackson: "And it boils down to two teams. Schwarz jumps in... A dropkick to the knees sends the big man down to one knee... Shining wizard and Kamaura is down! Schwarz for the pin..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Kick out by Kamaura! Felix Schwarz tries to pick Kamaura up... He can't do it... He pounds on Kamaura's back instead. Springboard flying elbow by Felix Schwarz connects to Kamaura's nape! DDT by Schwarz! Man Schwarz is really laying it on Kamaura not letting him get a chance to attack."

Jim Jackson: "Irish whip by Schwarz... Felix Schwarz misses a clothesline. Bodyslam by Kamaura. Cover."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Schwarz gets a shoulder up... Tag between Ray Kamaura and Leon Hinomoto. Double team attack coming up..."

Jim Jackson: "Ray Kamaura scoops up Schwarz. Rainman bounces off the ropes and hits a flying clothesline. Oh! Schwarz gets folded over! Rainman for the pin..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Schwarz gets a shoulder up again.... Rainman drops an elbow...but misses. Schwarz rolls to their corner and gets the tag... Schwarz tags out to Arnold "GoodFella" Bold!"

Jim Jackson: "Arnold "GoodFella" Bold and Felix Schwarz sends Ray Kamaura to the ropes and charges in hitting a double clothesline from hell executing a drive-by shooting. Schwarz quickly hits a drop kick on Leon Hinomoto on the corner sending him crashing down. Yuki Monotomo jumps to the ring apron. Schwarz hits a dropkick sending him crashing into Leon Hinomoto! GoodFella for the pin... He has his feet on the second rope for more leverage! The ref does not see it!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and STILL ULOL Campeónes Compañero, GoodFella & Schwarz!"

Brad Blood: "GoodFella & Schwarz retain beating three of ULOL's tag teams! Looks like they hold on to the titles tonight and with no help from The Age of Pain too!"

Jim Jackson: "Still, GoodFella had to use the second rope to win. That is not the mark of a true champion."

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:42 am

"Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F blares throughtout the arena as Alexander Conway steps onto the entrance ramp. He is greeted by boos, but he shrugs them off as he walks down to the ring. He stops by the commentators table to grab a microphone before climbing into the ring. He walks to the center of the ring before raising the microphone to his mouth.

Alexander Conway: "Look at me! What do I look like to all of you? A champion? A winner? A success? All of those are true. If you look at any part of my twelve year career, you'll see success. You'll championships in my hands. But that's not all you'll see. You will see friendships broken, people backstabbed, blood spilt, and referees bribed. I've done quite a bit you see."

Alexander lets out a short laugh before continuing.

Alexander Conway: "But if you think it's been all good times, you are wrong. I've had my fair share of setbacks, I've been injured multiple times, and I've been beaten. I have been loved by you all, and I have been despised by you all. But there is one thing that has remained constant....I've always been screwed and I have always been held back!"

The crowd begins booing Alexander, obviously not wanting to hear him whine again.

Alexander Conway: "You all know it's true! It's the reason why I use "underhanded tactics" and manipulation. We all remember Marcus Troy helping Shogun with tear gas. And now Eunice and Allister are helping Zombie by picking a match that is perfect for him. Marcus couldn't save Shogun from losing to me, and they certainly are not going to save Zombie from losing to me."

Walking over to the corner, Alexander leans against it before continuing.

Alexander Conway: "Zombie, I defeated Shogun inside of a steel cage. I proved that I was more than just an intelligent competitor who had a lot of tricks up his sleeve. I proved that I was a resilient son of a bitch who could get it done in any kind of environment. I'm going to prove that again, when I beat you at your own game. But here's the rub, I'm not just going to beat you. No, in fact, you've pissed on me so much, that I am going to destroy you! I am going to end you. By any means necessary, I am not going to allow you to leave this ring, tonight."

Alexander climbs out of the ring, still holding the microphone as he begins to walk up the ramp.

Alexander Conway: "I hope you've enjoyed your undeath, because after tonight, you will never bother anyone again."

Alexander drops the microphone at the top of the ramp as he disappears backstage.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

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Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Creeping Death by Metallica plays and Zombie appears at the top of the ramp to a chorus of boos. Zombie once again has brought the Primo Ultimo championship belt with him. He makes his way down to the ring. He walks to the steps watching the fans hungrily. He licks his lips at the crowd and he enters the ring. He smiles as the crowds boos get louder.

Zombie: "I know you guys are excited. What with tonight being a huge night. But your heart rates are going crazy and you are all making me hungry."

He says so patting his stomach. He smiles at the crowd.

Zombie: "But! I'm saving myself for a special someone tonight. I'm sure you all know him! The rules have changed somewhat now though. Apparently Conway can use weapons on me but I cannot do the same to him. At first I thought that's suddenly unfair to me. But then I thought at least now he knows he has a chance against me! At least now you people and I don't have to hear anymore of his whining! At least now he will know that he HAD a chance against me!"

Zombie looks to the crowd as they continue to boo.

Zombie: "But I like to think I'm a nice guy so I want to give Conway another chance. Get your ass out here Conway!"

Zombie grins at the crowd again as he waits for Conway to come out.

"Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F begins playing throughout the arena as Alexander Conway steps out from backstage. He is holding a microphone, and looks as if he is going to begin speaking, but instead decides to walk down to the ring. He takes his time climbing into the ring, not in the least bit uneasy about being so close to the rotted dead pile of flesh that is already occupying the ring. After keeping Zombie waiting for a few more seconds, Alexander begins speaking.

Alexander Conway: "Oh, so now that I have "a chance" against you, the almighty dead guy on the roster, I will get another? In the dead man's benevolence, he's decided to give what he views as pray another opportunity to slip from his grasp?"

Alexander shrugs his shoulders.

Alexander Conway: "But hey, if he wants to risk it, who am I to deny him? So Zombie, what could you possibly have in mind?"

Alexander lowers his microphone as he waits for Zombie to speak.

Zombie watches Conway. Zombie brings the Primo Ultimo championship belt up towards his face and steps closer to Conway. Forcing it towards Conway's face as well he then begins to speak.

Zombie: "It's nothing like that Conway! I want you to have this!"

Zombie thrusts the belt towards Alexander Conway.

Zombie: "You ARE the champion after all! I felt it was only appropriate! Besides when I beat you to a bloody pulp I have the satisfaction of taking it away from you .... ALL ... over ... again!!"

Zombie holds the belt in front of Conway wanting him to take it.

Alexander stares at the title, his title, for a short time before it pushing back into Zombie's chest.

Alexander Conway: "Why don't you keep it? If you give it to me now, you will never ever see it again. Trust me, Zombie, you will never defeat me. I've gained enough of an advantage thanks to my Mr. Ferrer and my whining, that it's simply impractical for you to believe that you will win."

Alexander pokes Zombie in the chest.

Alexander Conway: "You're dead, and you're stupid. Haven't you even considered what happens when all of your body parts are split up, chopped up, and reduced to nothing more than ash? Don't worry if you have not, because you will get to experience it all when I do it you tonight."

Alexander walks over the ropes, but instead of leaving, he decides to turn back around to address Zombie once more.

Alexander Conway: "Another reason you can keep that belt, is so that you have another thing to remind you of something you can never have. The title will remind you that you will never become champion, just as Humans remind you of the life you will never have again."

Zombie brings the belt back to his side unimpressed that Conway refused.

Zombie: "Very well. Know then, that when you are bleeding uncontrollably on the floor you will be the first beltless champion in ULOL history! I was giving you the chance NOT to be that champion. But if you are willing to risk such measures to simply lecture me then so be it!"

Zombie looks at the belt and then back to Conway.

Zombie: "I do hope we have enough antidote, medication and emergency services here tonight! Cause the main event ... is going to get messy!!!"

Zombie smirks at Conway and exits the ring. Zombie walks backwards up the ramp always watching Alexander Conway with a dry smile on his face. When Zombie reaches the top of the entrance ramp, he holds the ULOL Primo Ultimo championship belt in the air and taps it still smirking. Zombie then points at Conway for a moment then taunts Conway by dragging his thumb along his own neck. Zombie then turns around to exit the main arena.

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Primou10

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Alexan10

VS

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Zombie10

Jim Jackson: "And now we have the main event! A main event that pits two of ULOL most dangerous talents at the moment against each other in a No Disqualification First Bite First Blood match! Just when the odds seemed stacked against Alexander Conway, Manolo Ferrer somehow negotiated a way to even out the odds for his client, the question is will it be enough for Conway to retain his Primo Ultimo title?"

Brad Blood: "Well seriously, I think this match will be a 50/50, with zombie, you don't know how things will turn out."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a no disqualification first bite first blood match and is for the ULOL Primo Ultimo title! Introducing first, he is the current and reigning Primo Ultimo champion, Alexander Conway!"

"Suffer Unto Me" by Avenue F blares throughtout the arena as Alexander Conway steps out from the backstage of the ULOL. He looks over the booing audience before he walks down to the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Conway was allowed not only to have a proxy to bite through Zombie's tough skin but also he was allowed to use weapons whereas Zombie does not... And here he comes holding a... Is that a chainsaw and a pit bull Conway has with him?!"

Brad Blood: "Oh man, Zombie is in a world of hurt... And wait, is that Q's countrymen holding up "GO CONWAY!" signs?"

Jasmine Lee: "And introducing the challenger, Zombie!"

"Creeping Death" by Metallica plays as Zombie slowly walks out. Zombie strolls down to the ring and steps into the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Earlier tonight Zombie brimming with confidence also taunted the Primo Ultimo champion... Will he even be able to fulfill his threat earlier to Conway?"

Brad Blood: "Well Zombie not only has a chainsaw to worry about but also that mean looking pit bull..."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Conway releases the pit bull which charges towards Zombie while he is standing guard with his chainsaw ready to strike at Zombie. Zombie gets an arm up just in time as the pit bull gnaws on his bone... The pitbull missed rotting flesh just by an inch..."

Brad Blood: "Zombie is struggling with the pit bull... WAIT ZOMBIE RIPS THE PIT BULL FROM HIS ARM BY THE NECK!!!"

SNAPT!!!

Brad Blood: "ZOMBIE SNAPS THE PIT BULL'S NECK LIKE A TWIG!!! HE KILLED CONWAY'S PROXY!!!"

Jim Jackson: "Conway lunges in with the chainsaw but Zombie looks like he's used to dodging them sidesteps out of the way. Conway swings the dangerous chainsaw around... Zombie ducks under it! A hard chop to Conway's shoulder and the chainsaw falls to the canvas making a hole!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie grabs at Conway and lunges for his throat... No Conway manages to push Zombie away! Conway springboards off the top rope..."

Jim Jackson: "Zombie takes a hurrancarana from Alexander Conway. Conway drops an elbow but misses! Zombie hits a forearm to Conway's face sending him back. Flying shoulder tackle by Zombie sends Conway to the mat. Zombie slams Alexander Conway down. Zombie licks his lips, I think he is going for his bite..."

Brad Blood: "Whoa! Close call! Zombie's bite hit Conway's elbow pads and rips them off Conway's elbow! Conway pushes Zombie away! Conway tries to go for the chainsaw again but Zombie blocks his way... Zombie lunges!"

Jim Jackson: "Right into a leg trip! Irish whip sends Zombie to the corner... Spinning bulldog in the corner, Zombie is down but quickly gets back up again. Back heel kick off the second rope, Zombie goes down. Again Zombie rises but Conway takes him down a third time with a leg sweep!"

Brad Blood: "Conway goes out of the ring... He's grabbing... What's that? A water balloon? Conway throws the water balloon towards Zombie who dodges it... The water balloon bursts spilling... GASONLINE!!! Conway wanted to soak Zombie in gasoline to burn him! Conway clicks his tongue in disappointment and drops the flare he was holding."

Jim Jackson: "Conway enters the ring again... Zombie kicks Alexander Conway in the gut. Zombie slams Alexander Conway down. Zombie scores with a killer spinebuster. Zombie has Conway up in the air in a choke hold... He's gonna bite into Conway!"

Brad Blood: "Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing just came running down the aisle with the gun from the Russian Roulette Boleto Dorado challenge earlier! HE SHOOTS ZOMBIE EMPTYING THE ENTIRE CLIP INTO ZOMBIE'S TORSO! Zombie falls to his knees! Q has some shackles, I think he plans to haul Zombie back to his home country to face justice like he did Marcus Troy!"

Jim Jackson: "Wait! Zombie retaliates stunning Q! The shots to the chest did nothing to the undead wrestler... Zombie wrenches the shackles from Q and uses it on Q shackling Q's leg to the ring post! Conway slips outside and grabs a barbed wire baseball bat..."

Brad Blood: "Conway uses the bat on Zombie's head! The barbed wire causes a gash in Zombie's head but since the wound was not inflicted by a bite, it doesn't count!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie takes Conway down with a huge clothesline! Suplex by Zombie! Zombie continues his assault with vicious stomps to Conway's chest... Conway may ahve broken a rib or two there... WAIT! IT'S GOODFELLA, TAUFIK AND SCHWARZ RUNNING TOWARDS THE RING!"

Brad Blood: "The Age of Pain comes to the rescue! Since it's a no DQ for Conway, Zombie is now outnumbered and is being beaten down! Now Conway joins the beatdown! It's four-on-one! Conway goes for the chainsaw... HE CUTS ZOMBIE'S ARM OFF!!! Zombie howls in pain and kicks his way out of The Age of Pain!"

Jim Jackson: "Uh-oh... Zombie's eyes somehow changed... He looks much more... I dunno how to explain it... More evil! ZOMBIE WITH ONE ARM SPEARS GOODFELLA! HE SPEARS SCHWARZ! Taufik breaks his Singapore Cane over Zombie's head... Zombie grabs Taufik by the ears and powerfully headbutts Taufik executing Deadbutt! And just like that The Age of Pain is neutralize all except for Conway who still holds the chainsaw!"

Brad Blood: "CONWAY RAMS THE CHAINSAW INTO ZOMBIE'S GUTS! HE'S GONNA TRY AND CUT ZOMBIE IN HALF!!! WAIT!! ZOMBIE GRABS INTO CONWAY'S ARM STOPPING THE CHAINSAW FROM MOVING! ZOMBIE BITES INTO CONWAY!!! Conway manages to wrench free before blood is drawn! Zombie pulls the chainsaw out of himself... AND SMASHES IT INTO PIECES ON THE RING POST!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie is a mess but he's still moving like there's nothing wrong with him... Conway looks spooked. Zombie grabs his arm from the mat... HE ATTACHES HIS ARM BACK!!! Zombie now has both arms back! He lunges at Conway... Conway counters with a knee to the head! Stun gun by Conway! Conway is pulling out all the stops now... He realizes how dangerous his opponent really is. Backbreaker by Conway! Still Zombie moves forward..."

Brad Blood: "Conway looks panicked! He brings out a railroad spike! Conway repeatedly jabs away at Zombie but Zombie merely swats the railroad spike away!"

Jim Jackson: "Conway quickly jumps out of Zombie's grasp and gets a hold of a meat cleaver! He chops at Zombie! Zombie uses his exposed bone to block the cleaver and wrenches it away from Conway!"

Brad Blood: "Conway's kick gets blocked! Conway tries to pull away but Zombie's grasp is rigid! ZOMBIE BITES INTO CONWAY'S LEG! Conway screams in pain and tries to wrench free... THERE IT IS! ZOMBIE DREW BLOOD! THIS MATCH IS OVER!!!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match and NEW ULOL Primo Ultimo, Zombie!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie is not letting go! He's continuing to bite into Conway's leg... MANOLO FERRER COMES OUT WITH A FIRE AXE! HE TAKES A SWIPE AT ZOMBIE WHO DODGES! Zombie grabs the belt and grins widely making his way back up the ramp as Manolo tends to his charges."

Brad Blood: "Oh man, Zombie ruled this night... Are we going to see a new reign of terror here in ULOL?!"

Jim Jackson: "Zombie picks up the win in this gruesome contest! Zombie is celebrating his win while walking back up the ramp! But wait. Morbidly Unstoppable have come out from the back! They square up to Zombie. Zombie stops celebrating and looks at the two jauggernauts. Wait a minute? UJJ's extending his hand? Zombie looks at the hand and shakes it! UJJ is smiling at Zombie. "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson Irish whips Zombie onto the wall then Irish whips The Morbidly Obese Man directly at Zombie crushing him into the wall executing a morbidly Unstoppable Force! Oh my god!"

Brad Blood: "Zombie jerks forward from the impact. Uh oh look at UJJ! 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson lifts Zombie in a military press hold. 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson then smiles as he lifts Zombie up and down like a weightless toy. Then 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson releases Zombie spinning him wildly on to the mat face first executing a brutal Impact Driver! But it doesn't stop there! TMOM is taunting the cheering crowd! The Morbidly Obese Man leaps up into the air and sits down on Zombie with such force crushing them to the canvas executing a morbidly horrifying Massive Sit Down!!! Zombie isn't moving! Wait UJJ just got a jerrycan from the back... IT'S GASOLINE!!! HE POURS IT ON ZOMBIE!!! HE LIGHTS ZOMBIE UP! Zombie regains consciousness and retaliates while on fire! TMOM and UJJ hightails it as staff come in and extinguish Zombie!"

Jim Jackson: "Morbidly Unstoppable surely got their long awaited revenge on Zombie and on Conway who cost them the Campeónes Compañero last week. Could we see them as the first in line for Zombie's new title? Well earlier tonight TMOM said that even though they were not booked in a match that they will make an impact, I guess this is what they meant... What a night... What a night..."

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Jim Jackson: "Whoa! What a night, what a night, I don't know where to even start! This PPV was... I can't even put it to words..."

Brad Blood: "You got that right Jim, we had revelations and unexpected twists through out the evening. I mean... Heck! I am still trembling with adrenaline after watching the events unfold tonight..."

Jim Jackson: "Wait it seems we are getting a live feed from the parking lot... Someone put it on the big screen."

The ULOL Tron comes to life and the camera shows the I. R. A., Allister King, Scott Logan and Samantha Collins, walking towards the parking lot.

Allister King: "Seriously Scott why the hell are you doing Methuselah? I mean she probably sucked off Jesus for a free AIDS test."

Samantha Collins: "You're just a gold digger. And she probably thinks you are the reincarnation of her lost love."

Scott Logan: "Shut up you guys I can do what every the hell I want."

Allister stops suddenly.

Allister King: "I forgot my stuff. I will see ya out there."

Samantha Collins: "I'm coming too I can't trust you when you're alone."

Scott Logan: "Don't be too long."

They part ways for the moment as Scott continues out to the parking lot.

Scott Logan: "What the hell is with those guys today? I can fuck who I want and its none of their business."

Just as Scott is trying to put his keys into the car, a mysterious man comes out of nowhere and slams Scott's head through the window.

Scott Logan: "Ahhhh what the hell?"

The man continues to beat Scott's head of the concrete until blood is seen pouring out.

??: "Hahahahaha!"

The man goes over to a truck and takes out to large pieces of wood. He connects the pieces together to make a crucifix.

??: "Pain is just the beginning."

The man nails Scott to the crucifix. As Scott screams in pain, the man lifts the crucifix and nails that to a tree.

Scott Logan: "Stop!! Somebody help me!"

??: "Quiet!!"

Scott Logan: "Please let me down."

??: "But why? We are just getting started."

The man grabs a canister of flammable liquid and proceeds to cover the crucifix in fluid.

Scott Logan: "Stop!! Help!!"

Allister and Samantha come running out to see what he was screaming about.

Allister King: "Scott!!!"

??: "Hello Allister, remember me?"

Allister King: "No it can't be..."

Samantha Collins: "Who is he? and why is he doing this to Scott?"

Allister remains silent.

Samantha Collins: "Allister!! Save him!! Allister!!"

Allister still remains silent.

The mysterious man lights a match.

??: Watch as he burns

The man throws the match onto the fluid causing it to catch fire. Scott screams in pain, Sami screams for help as Allister remains silent and motionless.

??: "Have fun hahahaha!"

The man walks away laughing manically.

Samantha Collins: "Quick!! Help him!! Allister!!!"

Allister falls to his knees...

Samantha Collins: "Somebody help us!!"

Staff and medics rush out with fire extinguishers to put out the blaze. As soon as the flames are extinguished, they quickly take him off the crucifix. Medics cover Scott with a white blanket as Allister tends to his crying wife.

Jim Jackson: "What just happened there?"

Brad Blood: "I-I don't know... It looks like Scott Logan..."

Brad Blood's voice trails off as he stares on in disbelief...

Jim Jackson: "Uh... Turn the camera off! Turn it off! Stay tuned next week for further developments folks, this is goodbye for now..."

Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011 Ulolse10

Subject: Re: Me Cago En La Leche! 04/24/2011

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