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 Lucha Loco 04/17/2011

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PostSubject: Lucha Loco 04/17/2011   Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:08 am



Jim Jackson: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another night of spectacular wrestling in Lucha Loco! We have a great line up for you all tonight. We have rookies looking to make a name for themselves, we have a four-way elimination match for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino, and we also have the ULOL Campeónes Compañero being defended against Morbidly Unstoppable. Joining me at ringside is my partner who had a boil in his butt removed last week, Brad Blood."

Brad Blood: "THE HELL?! Can you please stop announcing that to the world?! Anyway, I'm sure everyone missed me and my charming commentaries right?"

A tumbleweed rolls by as dead silence answered Brad Blood's question...

Brad Blood: "Aww c'mon..."

Jim Jackson: "Anyway, now that my partner's ego has been deflated, let us get this show rolling. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"






Brad Blood: "Now, what the hell is happening on top of the titan tron?!?! Are those ostriches running around on top of the screen?!?!"

Jim Jackson: "Yes they are Brad. I guess we have a new guy debuting tonight but this is the first time I've seen a preparation like this."

Brad Blood: "Oh come on! This is stupid!! Get this guy in here so we can kick his ass out aga..."

Just as Brad Blood was finishing his statement, Sisquo's Thong song blasts through the arena's speakers. The fans rise to their feet in anticipation of what's to come.

Jim Jackson "Oh my God!!"

Brad Blood: "You've got to be shitting me!! He's back?!?!?!"

Tonelada then appears from backstage in his usual idiotic posture to the deafening cheers of the fans. He then pauses for a bit to pose like a complete idiot putting his left hand between his shoulder blades and the other inside his pants.

Brad Blood: "Yes! he's back!!"

Jim Jackson: "Hey Brad, I've never seen you this excited before."

Brad Blood: "Come on Jim! Everybody, even me, miss the free joint!!"

Jim Jackson: "Yes indeed. But I still don't know why the hell are there ostriches on the scree... oh no..."

Tonelada then walks slowly to the ring as the live ostriches are then pushed off the titan tron. Hundreds of the flightless birds are seen relentlessly battling the forces of gravity only to meet the merciless floor. Hundreds of animal rights' activists then start pelting Tonelada with nuts and other food products. Simultaneous boos and cheers fill the air as Tonelada enters the ring.

Brad Blood: "Yes!!!! Yes!!!! Bleed you brainless birds!!! Damn!!!"

Jim Jackson: "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Tonelada then positions himself in the middle of the ring and does his idiotic pose. Just then, Thousands of pornographic magazines shoot from the ring posts and pot is showered from above. The boos and cheers are then replaced by moaning and bursts of meaningless laughter.

Brad Blood: "Oh my God! my hands... like... ugh... hehe... they can... ugh... damn..."

Jim Jackson: "I know what you mean man... hehehe... damn... the tables getting sticky..."

Tonelada then lights a cigar and smiles at the camera as the scene fades to black.






Scene fades into the office of the vice-general manger, Eunice P. Winslow. She is sipping her cup that is full of tea. A knock on the door is heard and then the door opens. In comes a man carrying two huge black bags, full of his personal belongings. The man looks like an average American you'll see on the streets, just more built. He steps towards Eunice's desk.

???: "Umm Mrs. Winslow? Sorry to bother you but I'm here to apply for the United League of Lunatics. Oh where are my manners, I'm Adrian Junior but most people call me AJ. I did go to the GM's office first but err, I got turned away from his intern. Something about he's not in the right state of mind to socialise with people. But his intern led me here, so here I am."

AJ moves nervously forward next to a seat.

AJ: "Umm could I err, take a seat. I could discuss my past wrestling federations. Well there's only one other federation I've been in. Wrestling Havoc Worldwide. Have err you heard of it?"

AJ nervously scans the room as he awaits a response from the VGM.


The vice-general manager of ULOL looks at the newcomer closely, she then takes a file on her desk and looks over it, she then takes a look at the young man again.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Ah yes AJ I was just studying your file a few moments ago. Yes I have heard of that federation, it was ran by Marcus Troy, who IS as I've heard paying for his actions for mass genocide. Now seriously I don't give a damn where you have been, all I want to know is if you will give your 100% here in ULOL. Now I have already booked you in a little match, I wish you well in your match and in your endeavors here in ULOL."

Mrs. Winslow puts the file down and looks at the rookie waiting for a reply.


AJ quickly replies.

AJ: "Yes ma'am! I will give 110% each and every night! Thank you Mrs Winslow for booking me in a match tonight. I won't let you down!"

AJ smiles at Eunice and walks out the office. A loud "YEAH!" is heard. Eunice looks bemused but goes back to sipping her tea as the scene fades to black.






The camera opens to a shot of Allister and Samantha in his office.

Allister King: “Where's the beer?”

Samantha Collins: “You drank it all.”

Allister looks like he is about to cry

Allister King: “But what will I do without booze. Oh god. I’m so cold. Now I’m boiling. And now I’m cold again.”

Samantha Collins: “Wise up ya wee baby. Here”

Sammie pulls out a bottle of whiskey and hands it to Allister

Allister King: “I love you so much.”

Allister immediately starts drinking while Sammie lights up a cigarette.”

Allister King: “I thought you didn't have any cigarettes left?”

Samantha Collins: “It's not a cigarette.”

Allister has a big smile on his face while he watches Sammie getting stoned.

Allister King: “We make a great pair, you and i. Here leave me a smoke on that would ya?”

Samantha Collins: “I will think about it.”

Allister King: “So who ya get it off? My dealer hasn't been responding to me.”

Sammie turns around and passes the spliff to Allister

Samantha Collins: “I got it off the new guy.”

Allister King: “What new guy?”

Samantha Collins: “You know. I think his name Tonelada.”

Allister King: “Oh cool hmmm its good stuff.”

Samantha Collins: “Yeah it is. Now hurry it up, you have a match tonight.”

Allister King: “What? a match? Fuck me.”

Samantha Collins: “Close, Nao Fook Mi.”

Allister King: “No problem.”

Allister eagerly takes off his trousers.

Samantha Collins: “No your opponent is called Nao Fook Mi.”

Allister quickly pulls his trousers back up and looks disappointed.

Allister King: “Can we at least have sex later?”

Samantha Collins: “Depends if I’m in the mood.”

Allister sits down looking disappointed as the camera fades to black.




VS

'Tears Don't Fall' by Bullet For My Valentine starts blaring over the arena.

Jasmine Lee: "The following contest is for one fall! Introducing first, making his way to the ring, here is AJ!"

After a few seconds AJ bursts out of the tunnel. He stops at the edge of the stage and looks at the arena. He smiles and walks down the ramp. He climbs the apron and then climbs the turnbuckle. He raises his arm up high to the fans,m who respond with cheers. AJ climbs down and enters the ring.

Jim Jackson: "AJ making his debut in ULOL. To my understanding ULOL is his big break, and he's looking to make a big splash in his first match."

Jasmine Lee: "His opponent! Making his way to the ring, here is Tonelada!"

Brad Blood: "AJ's going straight to the deep end, though. We have the return of none other than Tonelada! He was a former Primo Ultimo Champion under the previous version of ULOL. No doubt he's got his sights set on eventually getting back in contention for the top prize in ULOL."

Sisqo's "Thong Song" plays, as highlights of some of Tonelada's most daring police escapes are show on the titan tron. However, there is no immediate sign of Tonelada himself. It's only after a longer than usual pause when the man finally comes out.

Tonelada staggers about as he heads to the ring. He is carrying with him a bong. And between his marijuana T-shirt and wrestling boots, he is completely naked.


Brad Blood: "Agh my eyes!"

Jim Jackson: "We'll...be right back! We'll be right back!"

Road agents quickly rush after Tonelada, trying to cover him up as we head to a commercial break.

Insert Erektus ad.

Jim Jackson: "We are right back to the action! We apologize for what just happened earlier. But now we have the match between Tonelada and AJ in progress."

Brad Blood: "Yeah. Tonelada's finally wearing his gear, and AJ's taking the fight to him."

Jim Jackson: "AJ quicker on the draw, as he hammers away at Tonelada. He manages to evade a counter...and connects with a strike that stagger Tonelada! AJ rushes at Tonelada, but Tonelada sidesteps his running boot!"

Brad Blood: "And Tonelada takes him down with a lunging forearm! The guy looks high, but his reaction time doesn't seem too far off!"

Jim Jackson: "Tonelada quickly grabbing the dazed AJ...sends AJ to the ropes, but AJ grabs on to break the momentum! Tonelada charges at AJ, but goes flying over the ropes!"

Brad Blood: "AJ ducked, pulling down the rope so they wouldn't be in the way of Tonelada's exit!"

Jim Jackson: "AJ wasting no time going out after Tonelada. He quickly rocks Tonelada with several good kicks. Tonelada tries to mount some counter offense, but AJ quicker on the draw."

Brad Blood: "Tonelada propping himself up on the guardrail!"

Jim Jackson: "But he has the presence of mind to counter an AJ grab, and yank hotshot him into the guardrail!"

Brad Blood: "AJ' just ricocheted off the barricade!"

Jim Jackson: "Tonelada...rolls himself back in the ring. And he's back out again. He's approaching AJ, but AJ manages to fire some hits to daze Tonelada! Apparently getting slammed into the barricade hasn't slowed him down!"

Brad Blood: "A LOUD open-hand slap by AJ!"

Jim Jackson: "He grabs Tonelada for a DDT! But Tonelada hurls him over his shoulders for a back bodydrop onto the floor!"

Brad Blood: "Tonelada's showing the endurance you need to get to the very top of ULOL!"

Jim Jackson: "Tonelada staggers a bit. He looks a bit groggy! He again rolls back in the ring to break the count! And he rolls back out again to go after AJ! Kicks him hard in the ribs! Jumps and stomps on AJ!"

Brad Blood: "He hurls AJ into the ringsteps!"

Jim Jackson: "Tonelada pressing his advantage, getting AJ back in the ring. Goes right in after him, and goes for the cover!"

Brad Blood: "AJ gets his foot on the rope!"

Jim Jackson: "Tonelada picks him up, but AJ surprises him with a jawbreaker! Tonelada drops to the mat, stunned!"

Brad Blood: "And now AJ's going for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "Tonelada kicks out! But AJ with the presence of mind to quickly try for the pin! He rolls Tonelada up before his opponent could get to his feet!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two!"

Jim Jackson: "He sends Tonelada to the ropes! But Tonelada grabs the ropes to break his momentum! AJ with a running dropkick that sends Tonelada through the ropes!"

Brad Blood: "AJ's really taking the fight to Tonelada!"

Jim Jackson: "AJ waiting for Tonelada to get to his feet...and he dives at him through the ropes! Tonelada caught all of it!"

Brad Blood: "Tonelada's in trouble!"

Jim Jackson: "AJ slowly getting to his feet! He grabs the still dazed Tonelada, and returns him to the ring! AJ gets on the apron...slingshots himself over the ropes to land on Tonelada!"

Brad Blood: "He can go for the cover!"

Jim Jackson: "But Tonelada rolling himself back out of the ring! Looks like he's trying to fight off the effects of whatever it is he's been smoking earlier! He's trying to regroup, but AJ goes after him! AJ sends Tonelada into the barricade!"

Brad Blood: "Dude's bringing his A game tonight!"

Jim Jackson: "Tonelada again sent hard into the barricade! BUT TONELADA LUNGES RIGHT BACK AT AJ WITH A VICIOUS CLOTHESLINE! What a burst of speed by Tonelada!"

Brad Blood: "That was a pure desperation move! Maybe the dope he's using managed to numb the pain enough for Tonelada to counter! He's stopped AJ's momentum! Question is if Tonelada can still profit from it!"

Jim Jackson: "Referee Jack B. Nimble continuing his ten count! Tonelada limps to his feet...and manages to stumble back in the ring! And again he rolls back out of the ring...punts AJ while he's down!"

Brad Blood: "It wasn't an Orton punt! AJ not knocked out!"

Jim Jackson: "Tonelada coming our way! He's...grabbing a steel chair!"

Brad Blood: "Three guesses who that chair is for!"

Jim Jackson: "The referee quickly warning Tonelada about the chair! Tonelada walking to AJ! But Jack B. Nimble gets out to stand in his way!"

Brad Blood: "So Tonelada goes back in the ring with the chair!"

Jim Jackson: "The referee goes back in the ring after him! He's trying to take the chair back! Tonelada looks like he's going to go back out and bash AJ with it!"

Brad Blood: "Looks like he's just given up!"

Jim Jackson: "Tonelada dropping the chair to the mat! He goes out after AJ!"

Brad Blood: "He's grabbing his bong!"

Jim Jackson: "Tonelada going up to AJ with the bong in his hands! The referee too busy trying to put the chair away! Tonelada tosses the bong at AJ!"

Brad Blood: "Nice catch!"

Jim Jackson: "AJ caught it without any effort but Tonelada falls to the floor!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Ring the bell! Ring the bell!"

Brad Blood: "Huh?"

Jim Jackson: "What's going on?"

Brad Blood: "The ref talking to Jasmine Lee. Wait, did I hear that right?"

Jasmine Lee: "The winner of the match by disqualification, Tonelada!"

Jim Jackson: "What?"

Brad Blood: "Jack B. Nimble turns around and sees AJ holding Tonelada's bong, and Tonelada laying on the floor!"

Jim Jackson: "That...AJ just got robbed! This is ridiculous! AJ protesting the decision! Tonelada's still unconscious on the outside! I think he's finally passed out from...whatever it is he's been smoking!"

Brad Blood: "That...AJ just moved so fast we didn't see him hit Tonelada with that bong! But he wasn't fast enough for the ref not to catch it!"

Jim Jackson: "Are you serious? Man, what a way for both Tonelada and AJ's first match to turn out!"


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 04/17/2011   Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:08 am



A taxi pulls into the parking lot and stops, out of the taxi leaping through the window in a somersault and landing on his feet is Little Wang. Nao Fook Mi pays the driver leaving a generous tip before she steps out of the cab. Little Wang looks at her partners and sighs.

Little Wang: "Well it looks like both of us are booked in singles matches again tonight. The thing is we really haven't been winning any matches lately. In fact I hear that the locker room has nicknamed us the Oriental Jobbers."

Little Wang shakes his head slowly.

Little Wang: "Seriously we have got to break this losing streak. I mean I know we have the skills in the ring, we trained with the best but even that is not enough when we fight against people who cheat left and right."

The little midget shakes his fist in the air in anger.


The oriental knockout known as Nao Fook Mi tries to calm her friend down.

Nao Fook Mi: "Yes we may lose a lot Wang, but we fought with honor, we fought with integrity, the fans know this and we know this and that's all that matters. Why do you think that even though we have been losing our fan base still grow every time we have a match?"

Fook Mi goes on one knee and grasps her partner on the shoulders.

Nao Fook Mi: "We do not need to play dirty, we do not need to go down to our opponent's level. The master taught us that as long as we fight in the side of the right, we shall get our due. Do not lose hope my friend, I am sure things will turn around for us pretty soon. Tonight you'll be facing two opponents in a triangle match, I myself am booked to fight our drunkard of a general manager. Win or lose, we show the fans that we give it our best. Win or lose, we fight with integrity and honor. Win or lose..."

Nao Fook Mi pauses before continuing...

Nao Fook Mi: "The Oriental Spices shall leave the ring with their heads held high!"

With that, Little Wang suddenly got a boost in morale as he nods his head and together, the Oriental Spices enters the building as the scene fades to black.






The Camera opens to a show a door with moaning noises coming from behind it. The voices cannot be made out.

??: “Oh Baby that was great. You know how to suck better than Paris Hilton.”

??: “Of course, I guess adding a stud on my tongue also helps…”

The door opens and Scott Logan exits zipping up his pants.

Scott Logan: “Well maybe I will see you around sometime darling.”

Scott has a grin of relief on his face.

Scott Logan: “Maybe we should do this again sometime?”

??: “Anytime Scottie dear, anytime.”

Scott leaves the area as the other person exits the room. That person is Boy Bakla.





We see John knocking on the door on the Vice GM. A few seconds passed before John opens the door and walks inside. He's sits on the chair and starts to talk.

John "Grey Skull" Johnson: "Well hello there. I think we haven't met yet. My name is John Johnson. As you might have seen I lost my 1st match here in ULOL after the Masked Man used a low blow. I'm here to ask you if I can get a rematch with the Masked Man. I want to show him that you don't mess around with me."


The VGM of ULOL looks at the young wrestler standing before her. She sips her tea and puts down the cup.

Eunice P. Winslow: "I understand your frustration Mr. Johnson, and I can't book you to fight The Masked Man again though since all the cards are full already, in fact you are already booked in a different match tonight, a triangle match against Christopher Bain and Little Wang."

Eunice then takes a look at the PPV card one more time...

Eunice P. Winslow: "Wait, I think I can book you to fight The Masked Man in the PPV but as a dark match, is that acceptable?"


John looks at the VGM as he looks a bit sad about the news he heard. After some thinking he said the following.

John "Grey Skull" Johnson: "A dark match? Sure I don't care as long as I'm able to beat the hell out of him. I can't stand that someone who wins by cheating."

Scene fades to black.






In the training room, Christopher Bain is standing in front of a heavy bag. Covered in sweat, he's doubled over with his hands on his knees, gasping for oxygen.

Christopher Bain: "Damn....maybe Alexander was right....if this is difficult for me...."

Bain trails off as he grabs a water bottle from off the ground. He quickly pops open the cap and drains the bottle of it's contents. He drops the bottle and takes a few more breaths before he prepares to hit the bag again.

Christopher Bain: "His words were without meaning, he shall not get away with his insults!"

Bain begins punching, kicking, elbowing, and kneeing the bag with a renewed fervor. In his intensity, he doesn't notice Bob Bobbie enter the training room.

Bob Bobbie: "Bain! What are you doing! You have a match tonight!"

Bain continues striking the bag a for a few more moments before catching it and looking at Bobbie.

Christopher Bain: "Yeah, I know. I'm just getting in some training."

Bob Bobbie: "That would be fine, but your match is next!"

Christopher quickly begins grabbing his stuff in a bit of a frenzy.

Christopher Bain: "I didn't realize how late it actually was! Thanks, Bobbie. I'll be sure to hurry."

With that, Bob Bobbie turns away and beings to leave as the scene fades to black.



VS

VS

Jim Jackson: "Well folks, the following match is a match is a three-way action between Christopher Bain, Little Wang and John "Grey Skull" Johnson."

Brad Blood: "And what do these three have in common? They all lost their last matches. WAHAHAHAHA!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a triangle match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Christopher Bain!"

"Take Over" by Dale Oliver begins playing throughout the arena as Christopher Bain steps out onto the entrance ramp. Walking to the center of the ramp, he stops for a moment before throwing his arms out wide as a volley of pyrotechnics explode behind him. As they subside, the young man begins walking towards the ring, slapping the hands of any fan who reaches out to him. When he arrives at ringside, he hops onto the ring apron before hopping over the top-rope. He climbs onto a turnbuckle to strike a quick pose for the fans.

Jim Jackson: "Bain lost to Stank Lord in his last match and is looking to redeem himself. He challenged Alexander Conway recently only to get rejected."

Brad Blood: "Exactly, I mean Conway is the champ why would he accept a challenge from a guy who lost to Stank Lord?"

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next John "Grey Skull" Johnson!"

"One" from Metallica blast trough the speakers and sparks are showering as John
"Grey Skull" Johnson makes his way to the ring, wearing shorts when he hits the ring, lightning hits the ring posts.


Jim Jackson: "Grey Skull lost his debut match against The Masked Man, he asked for a rematch which was granted by the VGM, it will take place this coming PPV as a dark match."

Brad Blood: "And the results will probably still be the same. He'll lose."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing last, he's one half of Oriental Spices, Little Wang!"

"Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor starts playing on the speakers as flashing multicolored lights starts flashing at the top of the entrance ramp as smoke rises from the floor. A small form suddenly bounces out of the entrance tunnel and through the smoke which is slowly clearing. The crowd looks wide-eyed at the small midget standing on top of the entrance ramp with both arms in the air waving a victory sign with his fingers. The midget runs down the ramp and scampers into the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Little Wang, the veteran of the three has also been experiencing some bad luck in the ring recently."

Brad Blood: "Straight losses isn't bad luck, it's only one thing. He really sucks."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for tonight is Sully S. Calawag! LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Bain and Grey Skull go for each other ignoring Little Wang who seems to gauge both men from a distance."

Brad Blood: "Heh, I guess they don't perceive Little Wang as a threat."

Jim Jackson: "Bain gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Grey Skull. Little Wang rushes in and leaps towards Grey Skull... Wait! John Johnson was expecting him and Little Wang eats boot!"

Brad Blood: "Ooh! Right on the jaw! That ought to knock a few teeth loose... Little Wang tries to throw some punches but he's being held away by Grey Skull and his reach is too short to hit anything."

Jim Jackson: "John Johnson with heavy hands strikes at Little Wang. Wang is turning red and looks like he's gonna explode. Bain with a double axe handle to John Johnson's back!"

Brad Blood: "Bain with a right hand... Countered by John Johnson into a hammerlock... Christopher Bain elbows John Johnson in the face to break the hammerlock. And it looks like Little Wang is forgotten again!"

Jim Jackson: "Grey Skull takes a flying neckbreaker from Christopher Bain. Bain goes in for the kill... Vicious lightning kick by Wang on Bain from out of nowhere! Bain goes down! Little Wang hooks the leg."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Bain kicks out. It would be a major embarrassment to lose to a midget."

Jim Jackson: "Bain gets back up to his feet... Right into John Johnson's arms... Vertical suplex by John Johnson! Bain is down! Wang springboards towards Grey Skull..."

Brad Blood: "He gets caught in mid-flight! John Johnson with a body slam attempt... No! Wang slips out of Grey Skulls grasp and lands behind him! He's a slippery one, that Little Wang."

Jim Jackson: "Bain gets up and goes for a dropkick at John Johnson... Little Wang crouches right behind the knees of John Johnson... Bain's dropkick connects! Grey Skull staggers back and trips on Little Wang falling on his back!"

Brad Blood: "Wait! Now Little Wang hits a springboard spinning side kick on Bain and uses the impact to propel himself towards Grey Skull who is just coming back up to his feet... He lands a dropkick sending Grey Skull through the second rope landing on the apron!"

Jim Jackson: "The crowd went wild on that one! Such great athleticism from Little Wang. Bain staggers back to his feet... Little Wang with a springboard crossbody! The referee starts the three count."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Bain shoves Little Wang off of him! Bain gets back at his feet... Little Wang is already in the air jumping off the second rope... Bain sidesteps! Wang smashes into the referee! Bain attacks with a rolling kick on Grey Skull who is just returning into the ring."

Jim Jackson: "Bain tries to get a DDT on Grey Skull but Grey Skull reverses it. Grey Skull nails Bain with a DDT! Leg drop on Bain! John "Grey Skull" Johnson lifts the opponent onto his shoulders and spins him around and around until they get dizzy and crash to the ground. John "Grey Skull" Johnson climbs the turnbuckle..."

Brad Blood: "The Masked Man! It's The Masked Man! He's run down the ramp and shoves Grey Skull off the top turnbuckle! The Masked Man lifts his opponent onto his shoulders and slams him to the ground executing a Huntmaster Powerbomb! Grey Skull is laid out! The Masked Man exits just as Bain and the referee is getting up... Bain doesn't see the interference and goes for the cover..."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, Christopher Bain!"

The Masked Man begins walking up the ramp with a mic in hand

The Masked Man: "You have chosen the wrong person to pick a fight with Johnson! This is only the start of what has to come! When the PPV comes, I'll crush you in that dark match."

The Masked drops the mic and heads backstage.


Jim Jackson: "Again The Masked Man steals another win from John "Grey Skull" Johnson."

Brad Blood: "Well at least we know that even the dark match will be pretty interesting next week on the PPV."


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 04/17/2011   Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:08 am



ULOL's transsexual superstar, Boy Bakla is seen walking backstage when it spots none other than the ULOL interviewer Stephanie Dawson. Remembering how the last interview with her went, Bakla's temper started to rise again. It casually strolls over and intentionally bumps Stephanie from behind making her drop her compact mirror which she was using to check her make up.

Boy Bakla: "Oh dear... Sorry about that... It was an accident."

Stephanie looks up and sees Bakla, her eyes goes wide for a second and she quickly regains her composure.

Stephanie Dawson: "Oh, don't worry about it Bakla... The compact didn't get damaged anyway so no harm done."

Bakla notices Stephanie squirming a little showing signs of that she is uncomfortable talking to Bakla.

Boy Bakla: "What? Don't tell me you are bothered by me, by my choice to be a woman even though I was born a man. Tell me girlfriend, how can you have journalistic integrity if you discriminate me for MY choice to be a woman? Clearly you have something against me."

Stephanie Dawson: "Uh... No.. It's not... I have to go..."

Stephanie quickly runs off leaving Bakla alone.

Boy Bakla: "What the hell is wrong with that girl... Hmm... Though I could have sworn I've met her somewhere before..."

Bakla goes into deep thought again but came out with a blank...

Boy Bakla: "Oh well, maybe I'm wrong."

Bakla shrugs it's shoulders and walks away as the scene fades to black.




IT'S MEGA YUMMY!

IT'S MEGA MUSKY!

IT'S...




IN STORES NOW!





The scene opens around the arena as "So Amazing" by Kayne West plays as Stank Lord appears on stage mix reactions from the crowd grow high, Stank Lord gets in the ring with a mic to begin to speak.

Stank Lord: "Hello everyone it is me Stank Lord again, I am here because I can. But this not the exact reason, you see this upcoming PPV I have a Cow Fart Match in Lawsuit vs having Dawson by my side situation. You see months ago, I did something that to Dawson to make her call a lawsuit, I farted on her head and she calls a lawsuit. So if she win by someway then she wins the lawsuit. But if I win and let me tell you I will, I get to have her by my side and have her do anything I want, and you could properly tell what I mean, haha!"

He waits for what he just said digest into the crowd then speaks again while leaning on the ropes.

Stank Lord: "But as for now, I feel like I need a warm up thats why I am challenging anyone in the back that think that can withstand in the ring with me next week. So how will face me?"

He says as he waits for anyone in the back.


A few moments pass as a tumbleweed rolls by. ULOL's resident intern strolls out from the back with a mic in hand. He reaches into his pockets and pulls out a note.

Bob Bobbie: "I have an announcement from our general manager Allister King! AND I QUOTE! Stank Lord, you are stinky like a used hanky dirtied by a wanky that looks like a slinky that is why as I drink this beer, I decree you are too stinky for anyone to accept your challenge tonight.... And my bum has a tattoo of Scott Logan's mom."

With that Bob Bobbie folds up the note, tucks it into his pocket and exits to the back leaving Stank Lord alone as the crowd chuckles.






Musashi Kuruma, Buddhist wrestler extraordinaire, has just come out of the infirmary. He's mostly recovered from the previous match, but has a bandage wrapped around his head, covering one eye (probably just for looks more than anything). He's on his way to the locker room to change for his match against Shogun, when Stephanie Dawson approaches him once again.

Stephanie Dawson: "Musashi, do you have a moment?"

Musashi Kuruma: "I guess I do."

They continue walking to the locker room as Stephanie questions him.

Stephanie Dawson: "Alright, then. I guess the most obvious thing to ask is, how do you feel about your recent match against Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing?"

Musashi Kuruma: "My victory against him was a surprise to me at first, but once I found out how I won, well...I was pretty disappointed. What a cheap shot, you know? And then that Taufik guy comes out of nowhere and gets in another cheap shot, except this time I'm the recipient. I think all I can really say is 'what a night'."

Stephanie Dawson: "Well, before you found out about the, uh, circumstances of your victory, what was going through your mind when you got that belt?"

Musashi stares off into space for a few seconds, thinking back to that moment.

Musashi Kuruma: "As I held that belt in my hands, all I could think was 'I've done it, I've really hit the big time'. It was a good feeling, but at the same time, I was worried that the power it symbolized would tempt me down a path of sin. In a way, I am almost glad that Taufik did what he did. The key word is, of course, 'almost'. Taking the belt in such a dishonorable manner..."

Stephanie Dawson: "So I guess you have a grudge against him now?"

Musashi Kuruma: "Such things aren't allowed by the Buddha, but I admit that I am a little angry about it. If we meet again in the ring, I will show him what a year of training on the slopes of Daisetsuzan can do."

Stephanie nods understandingly, then continues.

Stephanie Dawson: "Musashi, now that you're rising through the ranks, so to speak, are you going to try and get involved in some of the larger parts of the ULOL? Stables, politics, anything?"

Musashi has a look of bemusement on his face.

Musashi Kuruma: "What? I thought this was a wrestling federation, when did we get involved in horses and presidents?"

Stephanie Dawson: "Ah...never mind."

At last, they reach the locker room. Just before Musashi goes inside, however, Stephanie asks him one last thing.

Stephanie Dawson: "Tonight, you'll be up against Shogun again. What's your plan to defeat him?"

Musashi Kurma: "Plan? There is no plan. There is no need for a plan. He is a demon, and I am a holy man!"

Musashi punches a hole through the door.

Musashi Kuruma: "...Er, I'll fix that later."

Musashi goes inside the locker room, leaving Stephanie to shake her head at his foolishness. Honestly, how does he expect to win like that? She heads off to find someone else to interview.






With no entrance music, no flashy lights, but just the aura of her presence, Eunice P. Winslow walks out from the entrance tunnel and makes her way down the ramp. A smug looks is seen on her face as she enters the ring with a mic in hand.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Good evening to you all, tonight I am here to make some announcements, all of which concerning the upcoming PPV this April 24, 2011. Now let's all get down to business shall we? As we all know last week Taufik cashed in his ULOL Boleto Dorado and became the Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik, in doing so the ULOL Boleto Dorado is again vacant! Thus a random draw from the roster was made and the following six participants shall be part of the NEW ULOL Boleto Dorado challenge slated for this PPV! AJ, Christopher Bain, Musashi Kuruma, Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing, Shogun and Tonelada. The match or contest shall be kept secret until the night of the PPV!"

A loud cheer is heard at the announcement just made by the VGM of ULOL. Eunice waits for the excitement to die down before continuing.

Eunice P. Winslow: "We all heard that Lucian Blackheart is tired of fighting people who he says are not worthy to challenge him, thus it has been decided that Lucian Blackheart shall fight Taufik and the winner of tonight's ULOL Campeón No Masculino four-way elimination match in a three-way champion triangle match for the PPV!"

A louder cheer erupts from the crowd and again Eunice waits for the crowd to settle before going on.

Eunice P. Winslow: "Tonight we have a title match for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero titles, whichever team wins tonight's match shall have the honor of fighting the other remaining tag teams in ULOL, that's right, the winner of tonight's match shall defend the tag titles against the I.R.A, Oriental Spices and The DWMA in a four-way tag team elimination match!"

Another loud cheer erupts from the crowd. Again Eunice P. Winslow pauses and waits for the crowd to settle down.

Eunice P. Winslow: "And finally, for the main event, the animosity between Alexander Conway and Zombie has come full circle as both shall battle for the ULOL Primo Ultimo title in a FIRST BITE FIRST BLOOD MATCH!"

The crowd pauses first at the mention of the match then suddenly erupts in wild cheering. Satisfied with her announcement, the VGM of ULOL drops the mic and slides out of the ring heading her way to the back.


At the top of the ramp, however, Alexander Conway appears from the back and blocks her progress. He doesn't have a mic, but the camera is close enough to pick up his angered speech.

Alexander Conway: "What in the hell do you think you are doing? A first bite first blood match? How is that even fair!? He's a freakin' zombie! He has the advantage in that match! There is no chance of me winning, you old hag! I can't bite through his rotten flesh, and even if I could, what blood does the undead have to spill? I'd probably die from contracting an infection from him!"

Eunice goes to say something, but Alexander quickly cuts her off.

Alexander Conway: "No woman, you listen here! I refuse to compete in a match that involves Cannibalism!"

Alexander gets closer to Eunice.

Alexander Conway: "You will go back up to that ring right now, pick up that microphone, and change the match! Change it! Change it right now, Damn it!"

The vice-general manager of ULOL stops in her tracks, a mic is quickly passed back to her as she begins to reply to Alexander Conway.

Eunice P. Winsolow: " I understand your frustration and your harsh words Mr. Conway but your anger is sorely misguided. Unfortunately that match was not decided by me but by a drunk general manager and I have no authority to overturn it. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if Zombie bribed his way to get that match with a bottle of whiskey. I CAN add a stipulation to it to make it a more fairer match Mr. Conway. That is all I can do. So if you have any requests... I do have to warn you that according to the rules of ULOL, if a champion intentionally boycotts a title match, that may be grounds for him to be stripped of his title."

Eunice looks at Conway inquisitively waiting for a reply.


Eunice's offer does nothing to lessen Alexander's mood.

Alexander Conway: "Requests!?"

Alexander realizes he is still only yelling into the air. He quickly rips a microphone from a worker before facing Eunice again.

Alexander Conway: "I already requested what I wanted! No Cannibalism! I don't give half a rat's ass about what Zombie has to do to win, but I AM NOT biting into his ROTTEN FLESH to win the match! That's not even wrestling! I downright refuse to take part in a match that involves a normal, sane person, such as me, taking part in Cannibalism!"

Alexander throws up his hands as he yells once more for Eunice to do something about the match.

The VGM of ULOL shakes her head at the champ.

Eunice P. Winslow: "How about this Conway, I can add a stipulation where you CAN have a proxy to bite into Zombie. A proxy to replace you when the time comes to draw first blood through biting. You can scream and throw a tantrum if you want but that is the most I can do. Now if you'll excuse me, I still have some business to attend to."

With that, the VGM of ULOL brushes past Conway and disappears to the back...


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 04/17/2011   Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:09 am

VS

Jim Jackson: "The next match is between our general manager Allister King and Nao Fook Mi. Both wrestlers are pretty over with the fans, King for his drunken antics while Fook Mi for her integrity and values."

Brad Blood: "Integrity and value... PHSAW! Those do not win matches."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a singles match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, he is the general manager of ULOL, Allister King!"

A Coyote Howl is heard throughout the arena as the entrance is covered in smoke. Godsmack's Whiskey Hangover begins to play as Allister king walks out onto the entrance ramp with a cigarette in his mouth and a bottle of whiskey in his hand. Allister Falls a few times on his way to ring and sits on the ring apron while he finishes his cigarette and bottle of whiskey. He falls of the ring apron and hits his head of the ground which somehow seems to sobers him up enough for him to enter the ring. He gets in the ring and sits in the corner.

Jim Jackson: "Life has been one big party for Allister King ever since he won the GM title away from Marcus Troy."

Brad Blood: "Party is an understatement, he turned the GM's office into a distillery."

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for tonight, Nao Fook Mi."

Oriental music starts playing on the background as smoke covers the mouth of the entrance tunnel. Suddenly out leaps Nao Fook Mi wearing a short cheongsam. She quickly makes her way down entrance ramp and enters the ring. She bows and gives her respect to the crowd before heading to her corner.

Jim Jackson: "A crowd favorite who seems to be down on her luck, can Nao Fook Mi be able to finally win and break her losing streak?"

Brad Blood: "Frankly I think Nao Fook Mi is gonna get fooked tonight."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for the match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "There's the bell and Fook Mi charges in while Allister stumbles around aimlessly! Nao Fook Mi hits a rolling kick on King. Spinning bulldog in the corner, King is down. Cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "King kicks out! King starts to swing wildly into thin air. Fook Mi stands back and watches Allister King go one on one with an imaginary friend."

Jim Jackson: "Allister King walks into the corner and starts having a shouting bout with the ring post! Clearly his state of inebriation has affected his visual sense. Fook Mi spins King around..."

Brad Blood: "Whoa! King blocks a punch! And I bet he doesn't even realized he blocked it! King counters with his own punch... Fook Mi blocks it and counters again with a punch of her own! Allister King takes the advantage after an I-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine."

Jim Jackson: "That last punch stunned Fook Mi! Allister carries Fook Mi up. for what looks like a powerbomb attempt... He messes up and drops Fook Mi on her head! Fook Mi looks hurt!"

Brad Blood: "King walks over, I think he's going for the cover... EWWWWWWWW!!! The only cover King did was cover Fook Mi in puke! Well that woke her up."

Jim Jackson: "The referee is signaling for a short break as Fook Mi tries to clean herself up. King walks over to Fook Mi... I think he thinks Fook Mi is his wife Samantha Collins! He tries to kiss Fook Mi!"

Brad Blood: "Fook Mi shoves King away and the match resumes."

Jim Jackson: "Fook Mi tries to go for an attack but it's clear that the drop on her head earlier hurt her as she fails to scoop King up. Fook Mi gets slammed. Bodyslam by King. Cover by King!"

Brad Blood: "Cover?! King just fell on top of her!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Jim Jackson: "Fook Mi kicks out! Fook Mi tries to fight her way back to her feet. Irish whip by Fook Mi... REVERSED BY KING! Massive lariat by King. Apparently King doesn't even realize he took Fook Mi down. He trips on Fook Mi's body and manages to cover her."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "That's a close one for Fook Mi! That was like a 2.999999!"

Jim Jackson: "Allister gets up and scrambles to his corner... He looks for his whiskey but can't seem to find it! He's screaming at the staff to find his drink! Fook Mi takes advantage and quickly rolls Allister King up."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "King kicks out! King looks furious but something tells me this is more because he couldn't find his liquor."

Jim Jackson: "Allister King with a spinning neckbreaker on Fook Mi. King drops an elbow... But misses by a country mile. I guess his sense of sight is still hampered by his intoxication. Lightning kick by Fook Mi on King. She goes for the cover."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "King kicks out again, Fook Mi still not able to put Allister King away. Fook Mi lands a few low kicks on King."

Jim Jackson: "Tiger suplex on King by Fook Mi! Fook Mi goes high risk and hits a flying elbow! King somehow manages to get back up to his feet. Arm drag takes King down! King rolls back up... Snapmare by Fook Mi takes him down again but he instantly bounces back up again. Fook Mi hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. "

Brad Blood: "Oh man, that left a huge mark on the GM's pale Irish skin. Irish whip by Fook Mi sends King to the ropes, here comes Fook Mi... Allister King ducks a clothesline attempt and bounces back..."

Jim Jackson: "Big clothesline on Fook Mi. Allister King picks Fook Mi up... And after a few moments of fumbling around hits a brutal powerbomb on Fook Mi. Allister King goes for the cover!"

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Fook Mi gets a leg up on the bottom rope! Allister King thinks he's won it and starts jumping around celebrating! He finally gets his whiskey as a staff throws a bottle to him. The referee is trying to explain that the match is not over yet... Oh man! Not again! Allister pukes on the referee!"

Jim Jackson: "The referee is busy trying to clean off Allister's chunks from his clothes. Fook Mi gets up... Allister is still celebrating jumping around with a bottle of whiskey... This could be Fook Mi's chance to win..."

KLONK!

Brad Blood: "Ohmigawd! Allister King smashes the bottle unto Fook Mi's head... And he doesn't even realize it! Fook Mi crumples to the canvas. Samantha Collins jumps to the ring apron and screams some sense into Allister King. Collins grabs Allister King and slaps him around on the cheeks sobering him up a little."

Jim Jackson: "Allister King finally realizes the match is still on. He quickly pins Fook Mi just as the ref finished cleaning himself up..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall, the general manager of ULOL, Allister King!"

Brad Blood: "Haha! Brilliant! King gets a win and Fook Mi gets fooked again!"

Jim Jackson: "Fook Mi still unable to break her unlucky streak... When shall her lousy luck end?"






All That Remains from Fozzy started playing in the speaker as "The Age Of Pain" are Making their way to the ring. The fans are giving a mixed reaction but more to being booed at due to Taufik cashing in on the title which the masked wrestler who is called Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing once own but lost to Musashi Kuruma. Taufik ripped the newly won title off from Musashi and now is called Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik. As Taufik reached the ring, he took the mic from the ring announcer as he posed with the Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik high up in the air before he starts to speak

Taufik: "What? You all aren't happy of what I've done?"

The fans are giving out more jeering than cheering but Taufik doesn't care as he continues to speak.

Taufik: "Guess what people, here's a newsflash for ya. I don't care what you all think. Why you asked? You guys assume that I will cash it in on the Ultimo Primo as soon as I won this title, that was my initial plan at first but since Alexander Conway is now apart of "The Age Of Pain" I have to find other alternatives and that's where my esteemed manager, Mr.Manolo has given me the idea to cash it in on then Correa Grande Del Oro De Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing on the night he is defending it. Well it's too bad that Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing lost the title that he created so I cash it in to the next best thing, the person who won the title that it is now the Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik, Musashi Kuruma."

More jeering is coming from the fans as Taufik make a gesture that he is smarter than you think.

Taufik: "You guys can hate me all you want cause this title is no longer Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's. It is mine and Nobody and I mean NOBODY will take it take it away from me. I'd rather be hated for something that I have done right than being cheered for nothing."

Taufik gives out some laughter before he continues as the fans keep jeering at Taufik.

Taufik: "Now that "The Age Of Pain" is in control of every major title that ULOL has. Tonight my good buddy and his partner is going to face the team that they won the titles from, Morbidly Unstoppable. They will however will do what they've always done, and that is fall to the hands of "The Age Of Pain" once again."

Taufik passed the mic to any member of the group who wants to speak as the crowd still jeering on Taufik


The lights go out and a laser show starts when "Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. After 25 seconds Ray Kamaura walks slowly to the start of the ramp. Ray stops and the lights turn back on after lightning strikes behind him. Ray lifts a mic to his mouth.

Ray Kamaura: "Taufik, Taufik, Taufik. I would like to be the first to give you a congrats on your fine work. You, being the brillant competitor that you are, used the ULOL Boleto Dorado to win the Correa Grande Del Oro De Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing. Good job, no doubt it was Manolo's idea?"

Ray looks up to the big screen above his head as film starts playing.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "And as we will wrestle to see who is the better man, I will, as always, offer the Correa Grande Del Oro De Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing as a prize for the winner! Whoever it may be! This is a title that needs no contender's matches! No one has to sing and dance to challenge for the title I now carry! When I compete, the Correa Grande Del Oro De Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is on the line! And it could be yours, Musashi Kuruma! But if I win, I hope you will still let me rub your belly! For good luck!"

Ray looks back at Taufik.

Ray Kamaura: "The point I'm tring to make is that you wasted your chance. You won a worthless belt. Its only value is know that you won it. It is as useless as the ULOL Ligero Maximo title. You should have just asked Musashi Kuruma for a match then had your life partners beat him down to win the fight. Oh but that doesn't matter because you finally found a new shiny belt to wear. The only thing that title is good for is holding up your pants. The Age of Pain now seems to be the most powerful stable in the ULOL. We might have to start getting some new members. But when its time It's gonna be Game Over for you all."

Ray paces back and forth on the ramp.

Ray Kamaura: "Now Leon is not at the ULOL building tonight. So I'm here by myself. But that won't stop me from whipping The Age of Pain left, right, up and down all over this damn arena!"

Ray stops and waits for a reply.


Manolo Ferrer steps forward, taking the microphone from the new Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik. He blandly responds to Ray Kamaura.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mr. Kamaura has taken the trouble to come out here and have a better, more....intense....look at me. I know, because I can see his erection. And I'm still not impressed by it."

Mr. Ferrer walks to the side of the ring nearest to the stage. The manager leans on the ropes as he continues addressing Mr. Kamaura. His words not going beyond a calm tone that is pleasing to the ears.

Manolo Ferrer: "I'm also not impressed at all by anything you say. Last week you say I'm only brave hiding behind other people. You conveniently forget that I went one on one with Mr. Conway. And you say this not only to my face, but in the presence of Mr. Conway."

Mr. Ferrer points up to the screen over Mr. Kamaura's head. Sure enough, video from Ferrer's last confrontation with the DWMA plays.

April 10 Lucha Loco.

Alexander looks over at Mr. Ferrer.

Alexander Conway: "As for the present situation, there is no sense in fighting over it with you. I'm stuck in it either way. But, like you said, we can both profit off of this. Whatever ideas you have, I'll listen. I don't have that much of a choice in the matter anyway."

Alexander rises from the chair and walks over to join Manolo and Taufik as he waits to leave the locker room of his former allies.

Ray stands up from his sitting position.

Ray Kamaura: Manolo, you sir, are nothing more than a scared child hiding behind a bigger kid. Now under normal circumstances Conway would have beaten you into a bloody pile of stool. However I understand that you had to get on your knees in the parking lot and offer Alister King a "favor". But unlike The Age of Pain, The DWMA takes no short cuts. We don't need to. So before you leave, be assured that The Age of Pain will soon be over."

Ray stares into Manolo's eye with great intensity. Then the video ends, and Manolo Ferrer continues.


Manolo Ferrer: "Such smoldering intensity. You are clearly thinking with your Little Ray too much. I never fought Mr. Conway in a handicap match, Mr. Kamaura. I'm sure Mr. Conway doesn't remember me hiding behind anyone, either. In fact, I was the one who walked up to him, and told him to his face what I thought of him. If there's anyone playing hide and seek, it's you."

Manolo Ferrer nods slowly, like a sage revealing some lost secret.

Manolo Ferrer: "It's you, Mr. Kamaura. You and Mr. Hinomoto figured you were going to ride Zombie's coattails to the top of the ladder in ULOL. You two hid behind my client, Mr. Conway, hoping some of his success would rub off on you. But you two kept mucking it up for him at every turn."

The manager of the Age of Pain again points to the screen above Mr. Kamaura's head. A clip from the main event of Here's Your H.E.R.P.E.S.! plays. We see Kamaura aiming to whack Shogun with a chair, only for Shogun to duck at the last second, resulting in Conway getting smashed, and an eventual Shogun victory.

Manolo Ferrer: "You cost him one title shot against Mr. Shogun. Then later you tried to take Mr. Shogun out, in the hopes of injuring him so he would have to forfeit to my client."

The manager of the Age of Pain again gestures to the big screen. We see the DWMA attack Shogun, dropping him with big moves even as Alexander Conway shouts at them to stop.

Manolo Ferrer: "Ladies and gentlemen, that's the DWMA's idea of not going for shortcuts. Oh, and let's not forget this gem."

Mr. Ferrer's delivery is not unlike Steve Jobs hyping a new product. We see a clip of Ray Kamaura visiting then-General Manager Marcus Troy. This was after Kamaura lost his title challenge against Shogun at HanuChrisKwanbo.

January 6 Lucha Loco

Marcus Troy: "Can I help you Ray?"

Ray Kamaura: "You're damn right you can help me. So last Sunday at the first ever ULOL PPV I pinned The Champ... TWICE. Sadly I Lost the match. But I still deserve my Return Match. Just Because Shogun forced me to tap out means nothing. The fact is I pinned Him twice. I am still the Number One Contender for the ULOL Primo Ultimo Championship. You need to think about that Marcus and make this injustice right. How is it possible that I main evented at the PPV and now I'm up again some bird man with buck teeth and big chin."


The clip ends. Mr. Ferrer waves out his arm towards the big Ray Kamaura.


Manolo Ferrer: "That was said by the man who has proudly gone on record that he does not take shortcuts. Mr. Kamaura lost his big chance, on his own, and wanted an immediate do-over. Never mind that he just didn't have it in him to win when it mattered."

Mr. Ferrer mildly smirks as he listens to the crowd's reaction. He goes on, still calm as ever.

Manolo Ferrer: "I see you've lost your erection, Mr. Kamaura. Good. Now, please stop calling Mr. Taufik and Mr. Blackheart's titles as 'worthless'. Just because you have been unable to win anything of importance here doesn't mean those titles don't mean anything. You even tried throwing Mr. Conway under the bus, claiming you never needed to take the shortcut, when you and Mr. Hinomoto went out of your way to try to help him, misfiring every time. Mr. Conway can be sure that his career is now in much better hands than when he was associated with you. Contrary to what you and your erection would think, the Age of Pain is not your problem. We have no interest in replacing you as your own worst enemy."

Manolo Ferrer pauses, before adding.

Manolo Ferrer: "You can go now, Mr. Kamaura."


Taufik gave out a laugh as Ray Kamaura is ignorant of the prestige of the title which he holds. Taufik starts to speak before Ray Kamaura even reply.

Taufik: "Ray, you were dumber than I thought. You didn't know that winning this title means it will have my name on the title that's one thing and the other thing is that since this title is named after ME. I get to make the rules, I get to pick the stipulation to the matches I want and all the details of this title will be revealed soon but one thing is for sure this title will be with me for the longest time and I will be the greatest and smartest champion of all time."

Taufik gives out some laughter as he awaits for Ray Kamaura to speak.


Mr. Ferrer once again steps forward, this time addressing his clients.

Manolo Ferrer: "No need to keep taking up Mr. Kamaura's time, gentlemen. I'm sure he has an appointment with a doctor somewhere, to try and save whatever's left of his ego."

Mr. Ferrer then turns to speak to Ray Kamaura, still standing on the stage.

Manolo Ferrer: "Thank you for entertaining us, Mr. Kamaura. You've made our victory celebration that much more memorable. I think I can get you a gig for my goddaughter's birthday party. She's four, and she likes clowns. You may go now."

Manolo Ferrer returns to the task at hand, as his clients continue to celebrate Taufik's championship victory. Ray Kamaura is left standing on the stage. Alone.


Ray chuckles but continues.

Ray Kamaura: "Ride Zombie's coat tails? As I recall I arrived shortly before Zombie did. My First day in the ULOL and I won my first match on 12/02/2010. I lost my second match to Alexander. Then the very next week I beat two other men and became the Number One contender."

Ray starts to pace again but he stops and grows silent.

Ray Kamaura: "Then, at the ULOL first PPV HanuChrisKwanbo, I was in the main event battling for the ULOL Primo Ultimo Championship. Then I became the first man to Pin the champ. So in only for short weeks I had accomplished more that Taufik ever will and before you go bragging about your worthless Correa Grande Del Oro De Taufik remember that you won it from an injured, tired, monk."

Ray Kamaura drops the mic and turns the the back. Corroded Dreams" by Ride The Sky starts blast in the arena. Ray takes his leave.


Manolo Ferrer quickly gets back on the microphone.

Manolo Ferrer: "Kill his music. Please kill his music."

Indeed, Ray Kamaura's music stops. Seeing that he has gotten Mr. Kamaura's attention, Mr. Ferrer continues.

Manolo Ferrer: "Yes, Mr. Kamaura. We know you managed to become the top contender to challenge Mr. Shogun. And what did that get you? You couldn't get it done. You weren't able to do it. You were reduced to going to the General Manager, trying to convince him to give you another title shot. And now here you are, trashing any title you aren't good enough for. That's being a pussy, Mr. Kamaura."

Mr. Ferrer hears the crowd's reaction.

Manolo Ferrer: "You couldn't beat the Primo Ultimo Champion. You couldn't get the Campeones Companero. I guess those titles are worthless to you, too then. In which case, why in this company still employing you?"

Mr. Ferrer then turns away from Ray Kamaura.

Manolo Ferrer: "If Mr. King or his advisers are listening, I urge them to do the right thing, and release Mr. Ray Kamaura from his ULOL contract. Clearly, he has become a bad influence in the locker room, calling this company's championships worthless while still getting a paycheck. He has become more undesirable than Brostar. He should be removed. Immediately."


Ray turns slowly and grows frustrated at Manolo.

Ray Kamaura: "You are very sly. The way you just tried to get me fired. That, Sir, is a short cut. Also, don't compare me to Brostar. I have something he never will. EVERYTHING!"

Ray laughs then turns around and walks out.


Manolo Ferrer waits till Ray Kamaura exits the stage.

Manolo Ferrer: "That was Mr. Ray Kamaura, ladies and gentlemen. Yes, he knows a thing or two about shortcuts, and how to completely drop the ball on them. Mr. Conway and his fans have witnessed it, firsthand."

Alexander Conway's new manager continues.

Manolo Ferrer: "Like I said, I really don't see how this company should keep Mr. Kamaura on the payroll. All he has going for him is just talk about how he thinks ULOL's championships are worthless, simply because he's not able to win any of them. And by the way, has anyone noticed that Mr. Kamaura once again failed to live up to his own talk? He just said he was going to come down here, and fight the Age of Pain."

Manolo Ferrer takes the moment to look around, exaggerating his movements as if he is trying to find someone in the audience.

Manolo Ferrer: "I don't see him now. Again, this is just another sign of just how Mr. Kamaura cannot live up to his own hype. But, he has a bright future doing children's parties. But enough about him. Now, the Age of Pain...celebrates."

Mr. Ferrer steps back, so his clients can continue the festivities.






The scene opens with what we think is Leon Hinomoto. Leon is in a ring and fighting two men. The first man bonces back off the ropes and goes in for a clothesline. Leon ducks and throws him out of the ring. Leon walks to the camera and begins to talk.

Leon Hinomoto: "So I'm here from my hometown and I'm just getting a little extra training in before The DWMA takes on the Age of Pain. No doubt together the 4 of use will forge an epic match that will be remembered for the ages. All feuding aside I have to give them credit. They not only forced Alexander Conway to join there cause but they also all have a championship now. The DWMA is seriously out numbered, and some would go as far to say that we are even out matched."

Leon turns around and gives the second man a boot to the head. Then turns back around to the camera.

Leon Hinomoto: "But, whatever the case, The DWMA will give the Age of Pain one hell of a fight. The winner will truly deserve to hold the gold. The Rainman is looking to the sky. The Age of Pain is for whom the bell tolls. In a few short weeks, it will all be over."

The scene fades to black.






A Victim, A Target by Misery Signals hits the speakers. After a moment fire spouts from the entrance ramp and "The Demonic God" Shogun can be seen walking through. The familiar emotionless expression can be seen glued to the mans face as he makes his slow decent down the ramp towards the ring to the fans dismay. Soon Shogun enters the ring and takes a mic from an awaiting ring hand where where he now begins to speak.

Shogun: "So...It appears that I will going back to business as usual tonight. However before I even mention what is going to happen to one Musashi Kuruma I must address the people for the first time in weeks! I have not properly spoken about the goings on in this federation in far far to long."

Shogun paces the ring, the crowd seems divided due the the recent happenings that rocked the surface of the federation.

Shogun: "Big new first of course. Alexander Conway did indeed defeat me for my title whether or not he had help. He also defended his title against me. However...The fool got himself stuck in the Age of Pain. Which honestly would not be a bad thing if he were in a stable that did not house Taufik. It is easy for anyone to see that his ego is the largest among the ranks. Even Alexander himself could not match Taufik`s love for himself."

Shogun leans against on of the turnbuckles as he speaks now.

Shogun: "So he beat Musashi for a championship after cashing in his ticket...after Kuruma was in a grueling match again Q to win the belt in the first place. The belt he won does not have much meaning in this federation yet he celebrates as if he won the Primo Ultimo! I cannot fathom why the idiot did not simply Pearl Harbor Conway and take the belt...Unless Mr. Ferrer has more control over his minions than I had first interpreted."

Shogun looks up at the ceiling as if pondering something.

Shogun: "You see I think people have it all wrong. Ferrer is not hiding behind his clients. His clients hide behind him! They use his cunning to win their battles. He directs them, counsels them. I guarantee that the reason his clients win matches is not simply due to his interference, but because of the strategies he must give them before every contest. He is not truly a coward for shifting allegiances like he has, It is simply strategy. Leaving the weak so that he may mooch off of the strong."

Shogun pushes away from the turnbuckle and makes his way back to the center of the ring.

Shogun: "Regardless, I will not become a victim of his schemes like Alexander did. There is no earthly way that The Age of Pain is united. They are going to crack under the weight of Conway soon. When this happens I will be there to pick up the pieces...along with my title."

Shogun: "Besides that piece of business nothing in this federation really interests me. My one and only goal here is to take back what is mine and that is a goal I shall achieve! Zombie cannot stop me no matter how much cheating he does. It was made obvious last week that he had made to many enemies to be considered a threat to me!"

Shogun raises a hand in front of his face and clenches it into a fist.

Shogun: "Of course all of this talk leads us to the subject at hand. Musashi Kuruma you are most definitely an adept wrestler. I saw your match with Q and it is obvious that you are no pushover. However, I am the most dominant force ULOL has ever known. You will not defeat me tonight or any night for that matter. You are an example to me. Something in which I can show the roster when they need a reference as to why I am feared and why I was the FIRST Primo Ultimo champion in history and the BEST wrestler in the world today!"

Shogun: "I will squash you like the bug that you are. Then I will squash the Age of Pain before finally crushing Alexander to regain the belt that was taken from me. So let it be known that I will never leave the hunt for that belt. I do not care who stands in my way for that person shall fall to my might just like everybody else!"

With this Shogun drops the mic and begins exiting the ring.


Dragon by JAM Project plays as footage from an old Japanese anime runs on the Titan Tron, the lights go dim, and fog covers the stage. Once the music starts to become more lively, the lights return to their normal brightness and Musashi appears. In addition to his usual attire, today he is wearing full priest's robes and several rosaries. In one hand is a staff with a ring on one end, and in the other are several paper slips with kanji written on them. He walks to the ring with his head bowed, chanting something inaudible. When he reaches the ring, he climbs in carefully to avoid getting anything caught on the ropes or ruffled up too badly, and picks up the mic.

Musashi Kuruma: "Shogun, the Demonic Lord. You, a being of evil, dare to defile this holy ground with your presence? I, the great monk Musashi Kuruma, will not stand for it!"

Musashi grabs the bandage wrapped around his head and, in one swift motion, pulls it off and throws it out of the ring. It seems the only reason he had it on in the first place was so he could do this.

Musashi Kuruma: "You talk of belts and bugs like any of that really matters. But I tell you here and now, there is nothing that matters more in this world than sending you back to the hell from whence you came! By the power of Buddha, I command you to get behind me!"

Musashi throws the paper slips at Shogun, and they suddenly burst into blue flame as they all veer off to the top of each corner post. Immediately afterward, he produces a bell from underneath his robe and starts ringing it.

Musashi Kuruma: "Get behind me, evil spirit of wrestling! Get behind me! Avaunt! The power of BuddhaMohammedGodJesus compels thee!"

Musashi raises the staff up and slams it into the mat, producing a surprisingly loud bang and causing the whole ring to shake. But what effect will it have? Will all these theatrics be for naught, or will Shogun be banished from the mortal realm!?

Musashi Kuruma: "Wait...I forgot the book! Oh no!"


Creeping Death by Metallica plays and the crowd start to boo. Zombie appears at the top of the ramp smiling as usual. He has the Primo Ultimo championship belt in his hand which he raises as slowly walks down the ramp. Zombie eyes the fans hungrily and jumps onto the ring apron. He enters through the ropes with a microphone in his hand. He addresses Mushasi Kuruma first.

Zombie: "Do you really think that such ... stupidity will stop ... unholy mother of ..."

Zombie recoils as the bell continues to ring. Zombie touches the ropes which immediately burn him. He quickly decides to leave the ring, carefully as he does so making sure he does not burn his back. He jumps down to the ground and eyes the ring and Mushasi Kuruma with intrigue.

Zombie: "I think I'll stay out here for the time being!"

He takes a breath and continues on this time addressing Shogun.

Zombie: "I would've had recognition if it weren't for Conway! I'd have beaten you against the odds! Q came out and I took care of him. Then I WOULD have had you but Conway had to stick his whiny little beak in!"

He looks to the camera beside him and looks into the lens.

Zombie: "And Conway .... I got you now! First bite, first blood title match at the PPV? At least someone in this company likes me! Maybe later on I should pay him a visit and thank him!"

He looks back to Shogun and Mushasi in the ring.

Zombie: "Manolo Ferrer is one hell of a manipulator! The Age of Pain do anything he says! Not once have I seen them make thier own decisions! And I agree with what Ray Kamaura said earlier! That title Taufik has is now worthless! When it was on Q THEN it was something to behold! Hell it would be worth more if it was still on you Mushasi! But unfortunately Mushasi you suffered under Manolo Ferrer's intricate plan."

Zombie looks at the wrestlers in the ring waiting for some sort of reply.

"Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top starts to sound and Arnold “GoodFella” Bold is standing on the entrance ramp right now and holding microphone. He puts it near his lips and starts to talk.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Really Zombie? You think that Taufik's title is worthless. Well wait a minute I know why you guys are like that because you don’t hold any gold at all and jealous of him."

He lowers his mic and makes a pause before continues what he wants to say.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "Another reason I came out now because you ain’t gonna talk trash about Manolo Ferrer. Somebody needs to step up for The Age of Pain at this point and right now I am that guy. Current reigning Campeones Companero Arnold “GoodFella” Bold. Of course one half of the team GoodFella & Schwartz."

He starts to smile.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "It’s funny that you mention that Manolo is manipulative. No it’s not true I would say because there is one word for that. He is just being smart. You see what happened when he faced Conway? He ended up being a part of Age of Pain, and it can happen to any of you."

He scratched his head and remembers that he has to dedicated to a man known as Demonic God Shogun.

Arnold "GoodFella" Bold: "You say that Age of Pain hides behind Manolo Ferrer. Man what are you thinking? We do not hide behind this very clever man, and we do have our own opinions but you see we are just on the same page. Well, Conway is not on the same page, but he will soon be."

He lowers microphone and waits for someone to reply.


Shogun walks over to a rope and touches is before whispering something. Soon the fire disappears and the bell stops ringing.

Shogun: "Musashi that was a rather pathetic display. You will come to realize that I am far more powerful than you are and I will take great pleasure in dismembering you in our match tonight. Trust me when I say that it will be a learning experience for you!"

Shogun looks over at Zombie.

Shogun: "Zombie...You know very well that you have no chance in hell of coming out of this little war as the victor. You know that you have to many enemies in this federation to survive for long! Even if you win the title at the PPV you must realize that I will simply take it from you easily. You cannot beat me and now I know of your tricks. You are nothing compared to Alexander when it comes to wrestling. You could never test my limits like he can."

Shogun ponders something for a moment.

Shogun: "And yet I will defeat Conway for that same title if he happens to defeat you. I will not be denied whether I have to face you, or Conway, or any man in this federation! It does not matter if I have to pin you or make you submit it will happen!"

Shogun calms himself for a moment before turning his attention to Arnold Bold

Shogun: "Mr. Bold quite frankly I am astounded to see you out here alone. You always have your master around in one way or another to whisper in your ear! You cannot hope to defeat me all by yourself Bold! You say I could end up in your stable? I CHALLENGE you to try and force me into Mr Ferrer's group. I promise you that no amount of cleverness will outsmart me. I am not a foolish man like Alexander Mr Bold. And I am far to powerful to simply be defeated by any one man in your group!"

Shogun now looks out to the crowd.

Shogun: "You will all soon feel the wrath of my living nightmare again. My friends, I will soon be champion once more. I will prove that I am the best wrestler on this planet no matter what it takes. If it takes me defeating every wrestler in this federation then so be it. I have all the confidence in the world."

Shogun simply drops the mic now and begins to exit the ring without waiting for a reply.


Musashi's exorcism attempt is worthless!? Just how powerful is this demon? Master Go would surely be able to defeat it, but a mere monk-in-training like Musashi has no chance! He soils himself.

Musashi Kuruma: "Well, that...that could have gone better."

When Shogun leaves the ring, he leaves Musashi rather confused.

Musashi Kuruma: "Wait, you mean our match wasn't tonight? I got all dressed up and decked out in priestwear for nothing? What the...okay, fine, I'll just go back to training, then. Whatever."

Musashi also leaves the ring, tossing the staff angrily at the floor. It of course rips a hole right through the mat. He stops for a second.

Musashi Kuruma: "...I'll fix it later!"

He resumes his exit.


GoodFella smiles as he sees Shogun going up the ramp.

Arnold “GoodFella” Bold: "Well, I just can say that sometimes everybody needs to step up for themselves and don’t wait until someone does that for you. Don’t get me wrong I listen to Manolo Ferrer cause he is clever man and knows this business. You know what? Before I leave, I want to offer you a proposition that is very difficult to refuse. After the PPV Arnold “GoodFella” Bold versus The Demonic God Shogun. One on One what do you say to that. Well too bad that I don’t have much time to hangout there I need to warm up for my match tonight. It is gonna be tough. So give me your ansert next time."

GoodFella doesn’t wait for Shogun to reply and exits to backstage and leaves.






Felix Schwarz is man which was nothing more than a silent mouse until one day gorgeous woman paid him a visit. You guys are right that woman was Summer Bold. She made an offer to him that it is time to make cities better than they are now. Even so, at this point some are people are judging his actions, there are also guys who say that it must be done. Specially if the ones who should have been protecting the cities are the ones corrupting it, the cops. Cops who have met justice from the barrel of Felix's gun. Cops not only hate this guy because he killed a police officer, but also he destroyed reputation of the police. Officer Michaels and Samuels are in their car and discussing this situation right now.

Officer Michaels : "I am sure that you won’t like what I will say but in my opinion, Felix or whatever his name is done a good job for this city. He got tired of those corrupt cops. Everybody knew that he was taking bribes, but he had too much power, so they have been afraid of him. He just can fire you at the spot, he knew guys that are in the top and that made him untouchable."

Officer Samuels: "You know what? I agree with you but it doesn’t change the fact that he killed people. Even he was a scum bag, killer or thief. They have to be brought to justice lawfully, not this way."

Officer Michaels responds to his partner.

Officer Michaels: "I am telling you there is no way that we can put a man with such a power behind bars for good. Everybody knows that, he had mob connections, political connections, he was untouchable. Yeah I know that Felix shouldn’t have killed him however, what to do when man abuses his power so much? There are not enough options left. Cause justice system will just let him go. Before you answer to me, I think we got a call. Some guys seen Felix downtown, and we need to go there."

Michaels revs the motor and traveled to the area where the suspect was seen. Before the car leaves this area a man shows up in the streets, he is hiding his face but something tells us that it is Felix Schwarz.

Felix Schwarz: "Now that the decoy has been planted, it is time to get back to the arena of ULOL and be victorious tonight."

He takes his motorcycle from the basement where it is held,hops on it and drives to the arena of ULOL as scene fades away."


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 04/17/2011   Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:09 am

VS

Jim Jackson: "The next match is between the former ULOL Primo Ultimo champion Shogun and rising ULOL superstar Muasashi Kuruma."

Brad Blood: "Well Kuruma better rub Buddha's belly for more luck co'z he's gonna need it."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Musashi Kuruma!"

"Dragon" by JAM Project plays as footage from an old Japanese anime runs on the Titan Tron, the lights go dim, and fog covers the stage. Once the music starts to become more lively, the lights return to their normal brightness and Musashi runs enthusiastically to the ring through the fog, followed by a line of fireworks down both sides of the ramp, attempting (but failing miserably) to jump onto the mat through the ropes. Once he's disentangled himself, he goes (much more calmly this time) to his corner and offers up a quick prayer to Buddha.

Jim Jackson: "And here enters Musashi Kuruma, so far his run here in ULOL has been good with suffering only one loss. Will Musashi Kuruma win against the former champ?"

Brad Blood: "Seriously, what the hell is a monk doing in a wrestling ring? Aren't monks supposed to be pacifists?"

Jasmine Lee: "And his opponent for tonight, Shogun!"

"A Victim, A Target" by Misery Signals blasts though the arena speakers ans the lights begin to flash on and off. As the lyrics begin Shogun bursts from behind the curtains with fire erupting from the ramp beside him. Shogun begins to make his way to the ring with a look of pure intensity on his face. as he makes it to the ring he runs up and rolls into the ring the expression on his face unchanged.

Jim Jackson: "Shogun looks as serious as ever, he won his last match against Zombie with the interference from current ULOL Primo Ultimo Champion Alexander Conway."

Brad Blood: "Well Conway is not fond of Shogun but he's less fond of Zombie."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Jack B. Nimble. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "Both wrestlers quickly engage in a test of strength as the bell sounds... Kuruma gets the advantage! Belly to belly suplex by Kuruma followed by a back suplex on Shogun! Shogun gets back up on his feet... Big dropkick by Musashi Kuruma, who got good elevation for a man his size."

Brad Blood: "Shogun gets up and tries to shake it off. He throws a big right but Kuruma blocks it! Again Kuruma has Shogun! Shogun is battling to get out of Kuruma's grasp. It's clear that Shogun is still not at 100 percent tonight. The injuries he suffered in the PPV and during his battle with Zombie is still hampering Shogun from showing his full potential."

Jim Jackson: "Vertical suplex by Musashi Kuruma! Shogun hits the mat hard! Kuruma goes for the cover!"

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "The former champ kicks out of that one. Kuruma tries again to lift Shogun up... This time his attempt was blocked by Shogun! Shogun comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Kuruma got rocked! That fist hit Kuruma at the side of the jaw!"

Jim Jackson: "Musashi Kuruma takes a butterfly suplex from Shogun. The former champ is not done yet. Tiger bomb by Shogun! Shogun quickly hooks the leg."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Kuruma kicks out at two! Shogun misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Kuruma recovers and shakes off the cobwebs."

Jim Jackson: "Gutwrench into a powerbomb by Kuruma and Shogun hits hard... Kuruma with a few stomps keeps Shogun down. Kuruma for the cover."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Shogun is still alive and kicking! Kuruma just can't seem to put Shogun away. Kuruma lifts Shogun up...."

Jim Jackson: "Musashi Kuruma brings out a jumping powerbomb to nearly kill Shogun. The impact of that move resonated through the whole arena! Kuruma for the pin."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Kuruma cannot believe that that move did not finish off Shogun. Shogun shows us why he is a former champion."

Jim Jackson: "I agree Brad, Shogun is one of the more resilient wrestler in the ring, what would have taken out normal wrestlers is not enough to put Shogun away. Musashi Kuruma has a hammerlock on Shogun... No! Shogun reverses! Kuruma takes a back suplex. Shogun drops an elbow and another! And another! SHogun goes high risk and climbs up to the top of the ring post... Flying elbow..."

Brad Blood: "HITS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Kuruma manages to roll away at the last second. Kuruma is back in control."

Jim Jackson: "Shogun tastes a high angle back suplex from Kuruma! Kuruma goes to finish Shogun off. Shogun hits a big left right combo from out of nowhere! Uppercut by Shogun sends Kuruma back... Shogun with an Irish whip sends Kuruma to the ropes... Shogun charges after him..."

Brad Blood: "Big clothesline and Kuruma goes over the ropes! Shogun exits the ring too and the referee starts the ten count."

Jack B. Nimble: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "Irish whip by Shogun sends Musashi crashing to the steel barricades! Shogun charges in and takes Musashi down with a stiff clothesline!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Four! Five! Six!"

Brad Blood: "Shogun with another Irish whip... This time Kuruma revereses and Shogun is sent spiraling towards the steel steps!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Seven! Eight! Nine!"

Jim Jackson: "Musashi hits a few hard shots and realizes time is almost up. He leaps to the ring apron and quickly enters the ring! Shogun tries to follow... WAIT! Shogun's leg is caught in the cameraman's camera cable! Shogun trips!"

Jack B. Nimble: "Ten!"

Brad Blood: "What?! How could this happen?!"

Jim Jackson: "The ref is calling for the bell! What an upset!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match due to a count out, Musashi Kuruma!"

Brad Blood: "Musashi Kuruma won and is celebrating in the ring thanking Buddha! Shogun is furious! He just decked the camera man! Shogun grabs the camera and enters the ring... HE JUST TOOK MUSASHI KURUMA DOWN WITH A CAMERA SHOT TO THE HEAD!"

Jim Jackson: "Shogun is beating down on Musashi Kuruma with a vengeance! Officials finally enter the ring and pull Shogun off of Musashi Kuruma!"






Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with a mic in hand.

Boy Bakla: "Well well well, good evening to y'all. I know that things didn't exactly work out as planned when I faced Raven Connoly... But tonight I finally get a chance to redeem myself! That's right! I not only get to fight Raven Connoly but also 2 other girls for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino, a title that will find it's rightful place around my waist!"

A cold reaction is seen from the crowd.

Boy Bakla: "Oh c'mon, don't tell me you all are still miffed at what I did to Raven? Oh fine, be like that then... You may all be on her side right now but when I win the ULOL Campeón No Masculino, you'll all change your tune. Tonight I will show Raven that I am no coward and that I am no chea... That I am no coward! I shall get the respect that I deserve!"

Bakla drops the mic and storms out in a huff as the crowd continues to give Bakla the cold shoulder.






Reporters from different media organizations have arrived at this hotel conference room. Their cameras, bright lights and microphones point to the head of an empty table, with a few more being added by later arrivals. The reporters trade notes and gossip while they wait for their interview to arrive. Among them are journalists who have dodged bullets, interviewed politicians, reported on natural catastrophes, exposed corruption, and even had exclusives with Brangelina. This interview probably isn't on the same level as Brangelina, but it's big news, and they want to be the first to report it.

Reporter: "You gotta know more, mate."

Reporter 2: "I tell you earnestly. He was secluded ever since that match. He asked for no interviews, and that was it."

Reporter: "You actually didn't try interviewing him anyway?"

Reporter 2: "He asked us to give him time to think of what he has to say. It's a small thing to ask for."

Reporter 3: "I can't believe they pulled me outta Washington to do this."

Reporter 2: "Your chief knows which story's more valuable."

All small talk ends when the man they have come to see makes his entrance. The reporters spring into action, quickly taking out their pens and recorders. All eyes are on the new arrival. He is wearing a suit, and his ever present wrestling mask. His outfit seems plain, though, like it's missing something big and made of gold.

He is none other than the dextrous daredevil of the wrestling ring. He is known by millions only as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I thank you for coming to this presscon! I lost the Correa Grande Del Oro De Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing to Musashi Kuruma! But I will get to that later! There's more important news I need to share! I am very happy to announce that Freecat.com is going to donate a lot of free cat to my lovely but humble people! Our homeland is still trying to recover from the very nasty war with those vile smurfs! But while our country is still trying to rebuild from the ashes, those smurfs get a movie with Hank Azaria! That is madness!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing looks exasperated. Not an easy thing for a man in a mask.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "But Freecat.com has come to help my people in their time of need! They won't just donate free cat for my lascivious but starving countrymen! They will also build a new free cat factory in my homeland! This means new jobs and a chance for my luscious but downtrodden people to rebuild their lives, after so much has been taken from them! I thank Freecat.com for their help, and for sharing their delicious food to everyone in this world!"

Reporter 2: [When will they start building the factory?]

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "If you do not mind, I will speak in English for our foreign friends! Freecat.com said they will start looking for somewhere suitable for a factory! If they can find a good place quickly, they could start building by end of this year!"

A few reporters visibly turn pale green as Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing extols the virtues of free cat. Thankfully, other reporters have questions of their own they want to ask.

Reporter 4: "You lost a title match after Zombie interfered. What do you plan to do next?"

Reporter 5: "Can you tell us what's happened to Marcus Troy? He's in your country right now, but no one's told us anything about where he is. Amnesty International has asked that he gets a fair trial."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Marcus Troy is a waste of his donkey mother's semen! Who will get exactly what's coming to him! Amnesty International does not understand anything about the zombie terror that my luscious countrymen have had to suffer through! They do not understand the soul-crushing despair of knowing the people you cared for were turned into a crunchy snack! Well! An eye for an eye! A tooth for a tooth! A chewed up nutsack for a chewed up nutsack! Marcus Troy will get what is coming to him! And once it's all said and done, we will put it out in HD! On Blu-ray!"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is basically on his feet at this point.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "My losing the Correa Grande Del Oro De Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is a setback that can be overcome! That title was a shining beacon of purity, compared to the blood spilled on everything in the ULOL by that Unfriend of humanity and his zombie! That zombie cost me the title, but that only spurs me onward with ever more vigor and persistence to see to it that I kill it! With fire!"

One of the reporters from Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing's countrymen raises her hand. She makes it a point to ask her question in English.

Reporter 6: "Do you have any comments about what Ray Kamaura said about the Correa Grande Del Oro De Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing?"

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing goes silent for several moments.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Who!"

Reporter 6: "He said the Correa Grande Del Oro De Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing is a worthless title."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing goes is still confused.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Who is he! I cannot remember who he is right now!"

Reporter 6: "He's in the ULOL. He is part of the DWMA."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing snaps his fingers, and the reporters present can imagine a lightbulb over his head.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Oh! Him! Alex Conway's waterboy! I see him carry Alex's bags and wash his car for him all the time! I think he asked to wash my car too!"

Then the masked quickly walks up to the reporter.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "WHAT DID HE SAY ABOUT THE CORREA GRANDE DEL ORO DE QUIAECAOPEDIDWAZHAPZHING!"

Reporter 6: "He says the title you've been defending all this time is worthless."

Reporter 2: [Here's video.]

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing fellow countrymen show him a video of Ray Kamaura's most recent posts.

Quote :
Ray Kamaura: The point I'm trying to make is that you wasted your chance. You won a worthless belt. Its only value is know that you won it. It is as useless as the ULOL Ligero Maximo title. You should have just asked Musashi Kuruma for a match then had your life partners beat him down to win the fight. Oh but that doesn't matter because you finally found a new shiny belt to wear."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing appears to be thunderstruck to learn of this. He looks at his countrymen, then at the other reporters at his presscon, then back at the video, then back at his countrymen who have broken the news to him.


Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "He went full REEEE-TARD!"

The journalists diligently write down what was said.

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "I remember him now! It's bad enough that zombie would eat anyone like a twinkie! But he stayed with the DWMA long enough to scar this man's brain! And now Ray has gone FULL REEEE-TARD!"



Murmurs in different languages are heard, as the journalists quickly report the goings on back to their audiences.

Reporter: "Herr Kamaura ist verzögert."

Reporter 3: "....retardé...."

Reporter 4: "Nabrenda si Ray Kamaura!"

Reporter 5: "他是愚蠢的人."

Reporter 7: "Zaostalý!"

Reporter 8: "...末端に脳死..."

Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing: "Yes! I can understand why he would say things like this! He's not in the ULOL to compete! He is there to carry someone else's bags! And wash their car! And keep their locker clean! But! This! This REEEE-TARDATION is another symptom of how that evil zombie can corrupt! I may not be able save Ray! But I can do my utmost to destroy that zombie!"

Overwhelmed by such fiery passion, the living legend's countrymen cannot help but choke back sobs, as they remember all those who were eaten by Zombie. They stand and cheer for Quioaecaopedidwazhapzhing, even as their fellow reporters continue their coverage of the presscon.






Stephanie Dawson is backstage when she see's Raven Connoly coming out of her dressing room. Stephanie Dawson walks over to Raven Connoly and cuts her off.

Stephanie Dawson: "So Raven, I guess you heard Boy Bakla's address to the crowd tonight, any thoughts?"

Raven Connoly stops, she looks slightly annoyed at Stephanie stopping her.

Raven Connoly: "Actually Stephanie, I didn't hear what he.., she.., ugh whatever! I don't have time to sit in my dressing room and watch the show, I have a chance to win my first title tonight in ULOL, so the only thing I'm doing is preparing for my match."

Stephanie Dawson: "Well Boy Bakla seems pretty sure it's going to win the 4 way elimination match tonight and walk away the new Campeón No Masculino."

Raven Connoly: "Well, Boy Bakla should be sure about walking away the Campeón No Masculino, if it didn't then there would be no point in it entering the match at all. Every competitor in that match tonight should think they are going to walk away the winner, if you doubt yourself one bit going in, then you've already lost. I don't like Boy Bakla one bit, and I have no doubt in my mind that it will do anything to win this match tonight. Which is why I have to be 100% focused tonight, because just like the other three competitors think they will win tonight, so do I, and I plan to be the one in the group that's right. Now you have to excuse me Steph, I don't mean to be rude I assure you, but my match is coming up, and I have to be ready."


Raven walks off with a look of determination on her face leaving Stephanie standing alone as the camera fades.




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The Morbidly Obese Man
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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 04/17/2011   Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:10 am



VS

VS

VS

Jim Jackson: "Finally the co-main event of the evening... A battle for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino between four of ULOL's top divas!"

Brad Blood: "Yeah, finally some eye candy! Bring on the ladies!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a four-way elimination match scheduled for one fall and is for the ULOL Campeón No Masculino title. Introducing first, Boy Bakla!"

Cher's "Believe" start playing on the loud speakers as PINK lights start to flash above the entrance ramp. A light mist is released from the ground carrying the scent of lavender as the transsexual wrestler Boy Bakla leaps out from the back wearing a pink tank top and pink hot pants. It casually strolls down the entrance ramp blowing kisses to it's fans before it enters the ring with flourish and heads to it's corner waiting for the match to begin.

Jim Jackson: "Bakla was shunned by the crowd earlier due to it's actions against Raven Connoly. Maybe this is Bakla's chance to prove itself to the crowd once and for all that it is actually a serious competitor and not just a cheat and coward as Raven said."

Brad Blood: "That fruit cake should just re-retire! I mean why did it ever have to return to the ring anyway?"

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Lady Bianca de Sade!"

"Rebirthing" by Skillet blasts over the arena as Lady Bianca de Sade comes out from the entrance tunnel. She walks down to the ring. She waves to the fans as she enters the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Recently a little disgruntled, Lady B wants to prove herself as a serious ULOL wrestlers, she eked out a draw the last time she battled with Samantha Collins."

Brad Blood: "Well, Lady B is one fiiiiiiiiinnnnne woman... Mmm..."

Jasmine Lee: "Introducing next, Raven Connoly!"

"Warriors Code" By The Dropkick Murphy's starts to play throughout the arena. Raven runs out onto the stage, she throws her fist in the air and screams as a barrage of fireworks go off behind her.

Jim Jackson: "Clearly the fan favorite of this match, recently Raven has been getting more and more support from the crowd. This could be her moment tonight if she manages to win the title."

Brad Blood: "Mmm... Red hair... I love redheads..."

Jasmine Lee: "And introducing last, Samantha Collins!"

Soundgarden's "Black Rain" begins to blast from the PA system as Samantha Collins makes her way out to the entrance ramp. She stands and lights a cigarette before heading down to the ring. She drops the lit cigarette and stomps it out before entering the ring.

Jim Jackson: "Many think that Ms. Collins got this title shot just because her husband is the general manager of ULOL. If she wants to erase that image she has to show what she can really do in the ring here tonight."

Brad Blood: "Mmm... Another redhead. Man, seriously how did Allister King even score her?"

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Don Q. Hotte. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! Looks like it's Samantha Collins and Raven Connoly starting things off tonight. Collin takes a series of chops from Raven sending her staggering back. Samantha Collins takes a knee lift from Raven."

Brad Blood: "Mmm... Did you see Samantha Collin's chest bounce as each chop hit? Man, I wished I brought my video camera, I could watch that over and over again."

Jim Jackson: "Irish whip by Raven sends Collins to the ropes. She ducks below a clothesline attempt and quickly scampers away tagging out to Boy Bakla! Bakla charges in and takes Raven down with a clothesline."

Brad Blood: "Well the match just got more intense as both Bakla and Raven clearly have an air of animosity between them."

Jim Jackson: "Irish whip by Bakla sends Raven to the ropes... Big backdrop on Raven, executed well. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Death valley driver by Boy Bakla, Raven Connoly got planted. Bakla for the pinfall..."

Brad Blood: "Hah! Bakla knocked the ref out and just screwed itself out of a possible elimination! Classic! Serves that fruitcake right."

Jim Jackson: "Boy Bakla snap suplexes Raven! That shook the ring... Bakla grapples at Raven's arm... Raven counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Raven rolls out of Bakla's reach... Blind tag by Lady B!"

Brad Blood: "Raven rolled too close to Lady B's corner and was tagged out..."

Jim Jackson: "Lady B hits a high kick on Boy Bakla. Lady B hits a flying kick on Bakla sending the transsexual wrestler down. Lady B going for a sleeper hold... Bakla counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Big dropkick by Boy Bakla, who got good elevation. Death valley driver by Boy Bakla, Lady Bianca de Sade got planted. Boy Bakla mounts on top of it's opponent and starts slapping away hard with a series of slaps until it's opponent is gets knocked out from the force of the slaps executing a vicious Bitch Slap Symphony!"

Brad Blood: "Uh-oh, Lady B seems like she's out cold... Bakla for the cover..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Jim Jackson: "Lady Bianca de Sade becomes the first casualty of the evening! Samantha Collins enters the ring. Bakla charges in for a spear attempt but Collins sidesteps and Bakla hits the turnbuckles instead! Samantha Collins strikes Bakla. Collins hits a dropkick on Boy Bakla. Collins for the cover..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Bakla kicks out at two! Samantha Collins hits a couple of stomps on Bakla keeping the freak down on the mat... Aw crap... Samantha Collins misses a big leg drop after stalling too long."

Jim Jackson: "Tiger Driver nearly crushes the spine of Collins. Bakla seems like it is favoring it's shoulder, that botched spear attempt may really have hurt Bakla. Bakla tags out to Raven to get some time to recover. Raven stares at Bakla with dagger looks as she enters the ring. Collins with an eye poke blinds Raven temporarily."

Brad Blood: "Irish whip sends Raven to the ropes... Raven ducks below a clothesline attempt and counters with a shoulder block upon returning! Samantha Collins goes down."

Jim Jackson: "Raven and Collins battle it out trading punches... Raven gets the advantage! Face jam by Raven Connoly sets Collins up... Raven Connoly bounces off the ropes and runs towards Samantha Collins lifts her leg and kicks Samantha Collins in the jaw with the heel of her shoes executing a devastating Bloody Sunday! Collins is down! Raven hooks the leg..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two! Three!"

Brad Blood: "One redhead eliminates another, and now it's down to the last two wrestlers.."

Jim Jackson: "Forearm to the face from Raven on Bakla. Bakla kicks Raven Connoly in the gut to reverse the momentum. Irish whip sends Raven to the ropes... Raven takes a quick lariat. Bakla rolls Raven up with a fistful of tights..."

Don Q. Hotte: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Raven kicks out despite Bakla's attempt at blatant cheating! Whew! That was a close one."

Jim Jackson: "Bakla scores with a DDT and tries to apply an ankle lock on Raven Connoly... Raven escapes by flipping over and kicking Bakla to the ropes... Spear by Raven! Bakla is down! Raven applies an armbar on the injured shoulder of Bakla... Will Bakla tap?"

Brad Blood: "No! Bakla counters it into a crossface! Raven desperately tries to reach the ropes... And she gets it! Bakla is forced to release her. I'm surprised Bakla didn't keep the hold on longer..."

Jim Jackson: "Bakla's shoulder must really be bothering it. Boy Bakla gets taken down out of nowhere. Face crusher from Raven on Bakla. Boy Bakla gets knocked to the ground by Raven. Raven Connoly grabs Boy Bakla and throws them into the turnbuckle, Raven Connoly runs towards Boy Bakla, does a cartwheel jumping into the air and wrapping her legs around their head, Raven Connoly locks her legs around their head and pulls them to the mat locking in a koji clutch executing a Taste of Heaven! Boy Bakla tries to reach for the ropes... It's too far away! Boy Bakla cannot resist anymore and taps out!! The referee calls for the bell!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via submission and NEW ULOL Campeón No Masculino, Raven Connoly!"

Brad Blood: "YEAH!!! That homo lost! WOO!!! Raven wins the title besting three other wrestlers."

Jim Jackson: "Raven raises her newly won title above her head as the crowd erupts in cheers. Bakla looking dejected sits in the ring. What a match... What a match."






The scene starts in "The Age Of Pain" locker room after the celebration of Taufik's title reign. All of the members are in the room after the event as they wants to celebrate more. Instead of the usual champagne or beer that everybody usually drinks, Taufik, a non-drinker, drinks his usual Pepsi as they continue to celebrate Taufik started to talk.

Taufik: "This is nice. Lucian Blackheart thinks he is great that he doesn't have to even defend his title and now the Vice-GM putting me up with him and the ULOL Campeón No Masculino? ULOL Campeón No Masculino!!? What the hell is that granny thinking? Putting the winner of the ULOL Campeón No Masculino in this match? She just helped dug the ULOL Campeón No Masculino's grave. I rather face Lucian one on one than having a girl in this match. The title I'm holding now has my name on it and it's going to be my rule and the first rule I am going to impose is that No One Is Allowed To Cash In Their Ticket On My Title. You got that future ticket holder. I will tell you the rest later and now Lucian, you make sure that you are prepare for me at the Pay-Per-View as I will be ready to face you."

Taufik stopped talking as he awaits for either member to make their statement.


The new Correa Grande Del Oro De...Taufik's manager, Manolo Ferrer, steps forward to share his thoughts on the matter that has vexed his new champion so greatly. Mr. Ferrer wears a neutral expression as he speaks to his client.

Manolo Ferrer: "Mrs. Winslow's made an odd decision, but it could be worse. You could be having another cat-eating contest for ULOL's next big show."

Mr. Ferrer pauses for a long moment. A sour look crosses his face, as he remembers the night Taufik won the Boleto Dorado.

Manolo Ferrer: "At least you don't have to risk your life and sanity in this next match. Maybe we can even turn this to our advantage."

Mr. Ferrer continues.

Manolo Ferrer: "The man who first held your title made it a point to defend it in practically every match he was in. You could do the same."

Silence.

Manolo Ferrer: "Just kidding. The Ligero Maximo and Campeón No Masculino are off-limits to you due to technicalities. The only reward you'd get turning the match into your first title defense is bragging rights to offering a title shot to Mr. Blackheart and Ms. Whoever It Is, when their own titles aren't at risk from you in any way."

Mr. Ferrer takes a moment, before going on.

Manolo Ferrer: "I'll admit, the idea of you successfully defending your new gold against the Campeón No Masculino and Ligero Maximo is intriguing. High risk and high reward, if you will."


Taufik gave a few moments to think about it before giving his decision to Mr.Manolo. Once he has made the decision, he speak to Mr.Manolo.

Taufik: "With all due respect Mr. Manolo but I have to say no. Well now this title is under my rule and my law. So this is the second rule to this title, the only person who can call the shot for this title is none other than me. Here's the catch Mr.Manolo, I will give them a title shot on the spot and I don't care whether you are injured or even exhausted after the match. When I give you a title shot, you must accept it on the spot and have the match on the spot and if you don't accept the title shot, let's just say pray for the title shot to comeback to ya because title shots never come by easily you know, so be grateful. Back to your idea Mr.Manolo. I have to say no. I'm not letting my title on the line just like that. they have their title to worry about..."

Taufik pauses and gives it a second thought before answering back to Manolo.

Taufik: "On a second thought Mr.Manolo, I think I will put my title on the line at the Pay-Per-View as I can say that I am a true champion by putting my own title at stake in the triangle champion vs champion vs champion match. The rules I made will come effective on the Pay-Per-View day itself and But I'm doing this is because I trust your judgment as my manager Mr.Manolo."






Scene fades into the backstage, interview area. ULOL's resident interviewer, Stephanie Dawson, is standing in front of the camera smiling as ever. She has her modified microphone, ready to be raised. Stephanie wastes no time in starting a segment.

Stephanie Dawson: "Ladies and Gentlemen, my guest at this time, One half of Morbidly Unstoppable! 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson!"

Faint cheers can be heard from the fans who are watching the segment via the titantron. UJJ steps into view.

Stephanie Dawson: "Thank you Jack for joining us. Now it's been quite an interesting, if that's the word, few weeks for Morbidly Unstoppable. Could you give us your thoughts on them?"

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "It has been a crazy two months. We lost our tag titles, only to win them, only to lose them again. I left that PPV with a headache I swear, then we both got entered into the Boleto Doredo ticket match, only to find out that it wasn't a match but an eating contest. Eating free cats... Mine had kittens inside for Christ sake! Well we both lost there and my girlfriend then left me because she loves cats! Then we, well I, made the stupid mistake of training Blowstar or Blowjobstar, whatever we are calling him nowadays. Well it was a mistake because he left. Now at the end of this crazy ass journey, we get the opportunity, tonight, to regain the titles we NEVER lost!"

Stephanie Dawson: "Well our (tag champions) have had to go through a rough time aswell, with all this background information about Felix's job and Arnold's sister's history. It will be interesting to see what sort of mindset you both are in."

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Yeah it will be interesting, but much like yourself Stephanie, Summer Bold is one hot chick. Felix always jizzles in his pants when he sees her, I know this because I get the unfortunate luck of seeing him rush out of the Age of Painless' locker room. So if she is as brainy as they say she is, then she'll be celebrating with the REAL champions after tonight. In fact all the divas will, apart from Boy Bakla, that thing gives me the creeps."

Stephanie looks at UJJ, she notices that UJJ is acting a little bit out of character.

Stephanie Dawson: "Well the cockiness is still there from you but there's no focus. Well not the exact type of focus I'm used to seeing. All this talk of divas celebrating with you is making you sound like a teenage boy who's stating his dreams."

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Well that was because I had a tight relationship then. Not anymore. 'Unstoppable' Jack Johnson is free dammit! He'll be celebrating the right way!"

UJJ looks down and sees Stephanie staring at him.

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson: "Fine. Tonight, The tag titles will return to us! Rawr! What?! What else do you want? Listen, do you want to come to the celebration as well?"

Stephanie responds but it is inaudible as the segment ran overdue its air time. The scene fades.


The Morbidly Obese Man: "Whoa whoa whoa!"

Just before the scene completely fades to black it stops and clears out again revealing the megalith form of the wrestler also known as The Morbidly Obese Man.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Tsk tsk tsk Johnson, I can't believe you left your partner out in an interview. Oh wait am I disturbing you guys?"

Clearly an annoyed expression is seen on the faces of both Stephanie and "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson. The Morbidly Obese Man merely grins as he looks at both of them.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Oh c'mon sweetcheeks, don't tell me you are too busy to interview me? I mean I am one half of the greatest tag team here in ULOL."

Stephanie straightens her blouse and resumes the interview.

Stephanie Dawson: "Ahem... And we have a surprise for you all tonight, not only do we get to interview "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson, we get to interview his partner as well, The Morbidly Obese Man. TMOM, we all know that you and Jack were the first ULOL Campeónes Compañero, yet you both fell to the superior numbers of The Age of Pain. How will it affect your game plan now that The Age of Pain again grew in number with the addition of the ULOL Primo Ultimo champion Alexander Conway?"

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Well chika, The Age of Pain may have the numbers right now but between me and Johnson here, I'm sure we are more than a match for them. The Age of Pain were just lucky when they won the titles off of us and I can guarantee that their luck will not affect the outcome of this match. By the end of the night, it's Morbidly Unstoppable who shall stand victorious. And on another note... I would like to add..."

"Unstoppable" Jack Johnson nudges The Morbidly Obese Man on the ribs with an annoyed look on his face.

The Morbidly Obese Man: "Oh fine. It seems like my partner here is getting impatient... I guess I'll just mosey along to the buffet table... You kiddies enjoy yourselves then."

The Morbidly Obese Man winks at his partner and walks away. UJJ begins to turn his attention again to Stephanie as the scene fades to black for real this time.






&

VS

&

Jim Jackson: "And we've reached the final match of the evening, a tag team match for the tag titles. Morbidly Unstoppable finally cashes in their rematch clause for the gold that they once wore."

Brad Blood: "If this was a normal two on two, I would put my money on Morbidly Unstoppable but with Ferrer, Taufik and now Conway in the equation, even if The Morbidly Obese Man weighs the weight of five people, my bet will be on GoodFella & Schwarz."

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the final match of the evening, the following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall and is for the ULOL Campeónes Compañero. Introducing first, they are your current and reigning ULOL Campeónes Compañero, GoodFella & Schwarz!"

"Fire Flame" by Birdman starts to sound, the light suddenly turns off after a few seconds it starts again and Felix and Arnold are standing in the middle of the ring and waving to their fans.

Jasmine Lee: "And introducing next the challengers, entering with a combined weight that broke all the scales in the building, Morbidly Unstoppable!!"

THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!

The earth reverberated and shook as the monstrosity known as The Morbidly Obese Man squeezed himself out of the now visibly cracked entrance tunnel. There is no entrance music and no video playing on the Titan Tron. Just one massive form that looks bigger than an elephant. The crowd stares in stunned silence, not knowing what to make of the super-sized behemoth making his way down the entrance ramp as the floors creak with every step. As The Morbidly Obese Man reaches the ring he climbs up the steel steps the crowd wonders how this "thing" can enter the ring. But lo and behold in a feat of utter incredibility and great fat flexing ability, The Morbidly Obese Man somehow squeezed through the ring ropes and enters the ring which sighs heavily under his weight.

"Simply Unstoppable" blasts over the arena as "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson enters the stage through a spark shower. He makes his way to the ring. He enters the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, scouting the entire arena.


Jim Jackson: "Morbdily Unstoppable looks like they are ready to reclaim the tag titles..."

Brad Blood: "Well we'll see, so far there are no signs of Manolo Ferrer and his crew yet, Morbidly Unstoppable must win the match before the rest of The Age of Pain make their entrance."

Jasmine Lee: "The referee for this match is Sully S. Calawag. LET THE LUNACY BEGIN!"

Jim Jackson: "And there's the bell! It will be GoodFella and TMOM starting things off. Right off the bat GoodFella hits TMOM with hard rights. TMOM soaks the damage and event taunts GoodFella who charges in with a running knee lift... TMOM is still standing!"

Brad Blood: "GoodFella might as well have been attacking a wall... A forty foot wall! Tag between Arnold "GoodFella" Bold and Felix Schwarz. GoodFella & Schwarz whip TMOM into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. TMOM is still standing! Damn, I heard TMOM gained another hundred pounds or so, that may explain how he is soaking more damage. More fat and cellulite around his body to serve as shock absorbers."

Jim Jackson: "Big chop floors GoodFella... Headbutt on Felix Schwarz sends him reeling! Irish whip by TMOM, The Morbidly Obese Man hits a bulldog off the ropes! Felix Schwarz staggers up... Right into a spinebuster by TMOM! TMOM for the pin..."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Schwarz manages to get a foot up on the bottom rope. TMOM looks at his partner who wants in. Tag between The Morbidly Obese Man and Unstoppable Jack Johnson."

Jim Jackson: "Powerful Spear by "Unstoppable" Jack Johnson! Felix Schwarz almost got torn in half! UJJ for the cover."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Thr..."

Brad Blood: "Schwarz manages to get a shoulder up... Close call. UJJ starts stomping away on Schwarz... UJJ with a knee drop... Felix Schwarz manages to roll away on the last second!"

Jim Jackson: "Schwarz tries to get a tag... No! UJJ manages to grab on to Schwarz's leg and pulls him back! Uppercut stuns Felix Schwarz... Bodyslam by UJJ. Schwarz tries to shake the cobwebs off... UJJ throws a huge right... Schwarz ducks and leaps unto the ropes... Springboard tornado DDT from nowhere! This is Schwarz's chance to get a tag...."

Brad Blood: "And he gets it! GoodFella rushes in... UJJ with a clothesline... He misses as GoodFella ducks down!"

Jim Jackson: "Arnold "GoodFella" Bold hits some punches keeping UJJ at bay... Enziguri by GoodFella and UJJ goes down! Arnold "GoodFella" Bold from the second turnbuckle hits a double axe handle! He hooks the leg."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "UJJ kicks out at two! UJJ starts to battle his way back to his feet. He stuns GoodFella with a good right cross! Powerslam by UJJ! UJJ grabs GoodFella... Irish whip sends GoodFella smashing to the turnbuckles!"

Jim Jackson: "UJJ tags his partner back in... Here comes TMOM... He sees Arnold "GoodFella" Bold slumped on the turnbuckles... This won't end well for GoodFella... Big Body Avalanche crushes GoodFella! GoodFella falls down on his face! TMOM with a springboard body splash from the second turnbuckle! HE hooks the leg..."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two..."

Brad Blood: "Whoa! GoodFella manages to get a shoulder up from that one. It really seems that GoodFella & Schwarz are no match for Morbidly Unstoppable... Wait looks running down the ramp... It's Taufik!"

Jim Jackson: "Don't forget Manolo is there too strolling down the ramp casually... WAIT!!! IT'S THE RAY KAMAURA!!! RAY KAMAURA JUST AMBUSHED MANOLO FROM BEHIND! Taufik stops in his tracks and goes back to help his manager."

Brad Blood: "Wait! What the hell happened? It's Conway! Alexander Conway sneaked into the ring while everybody is distracted by the brawl on top of the entrance ramp... He just hit TMOM with a chairshot to the head! UJJ rushes in to help his partner... He gets hit by the chair too! Conway exits before the ref notices him! GoodFella quickly scampers for the pin..."

Sully S. Calawag: "One! Two! Three!"

Jasmine Lee: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match via pinfall and STILL ULOL Campeónes Compañero, GoodFella & Schwarz!"

Jim Jackson: "And again The Age of Pain uses the numbers game to their advantage. Looks like The Age of Pain has started to move in as Ray Kamaura realizes that he is now outnumbered and hightails it. TMOM and UJJ are still unconscious in the ring."

Brad Blood: "Well tough luck for Morbidly Unstoppable. They should have anticipated that this will happen..."




Jim Jackson: "What a night! What a night! Tonight we saw a new star shine, a star named Musashi Kuruma. Tonight Raven Connoly bests three other women to become the new ULOL Campeón No Masculino. Tonight GoodFella & Schwarz successfully defended their titles..."

Brad Blood: "Don't forget the return of Tonelada... Over all I can say we had a great great evening of wrestling. We saw upsets, we saw losers continue losing, we had a great four-way divas match and a great tag team title defense match. What else could the fans ask for a week before the PPV?"

Jim Jackson: "Well they could ask for a more awesome PPV! So tune in next week folks for the PPV Me Cago En La Leche! Hold on... I think there is something happening in Eunice Winslow's office... Someone get us a live feed."

The screen of the ULOL Tron fizzles and comes to life.

[b]The camera fades from black to show Scott Logan and Eunice P. Winslow talking in her office.

Scott Logan: "I never properly thanked you for the other night did I?"

[color:4c5d=pink ]Eunice P. Winslow: What you did was thanks enough.

Scott Logan: Maybe we can do it again sometime.

Eunice writes on a piece of paper.

Eunice P. Winslow: Here's my number call me anytime

Scott Logan: Cheers love. I will definitely call you. Maybe after that we could met up at my place?”

Eunice smiles and kisses Scott.

Eunice P. Winslow: “Sure whenever.”

Just then Boy Bakla walks into the room.

Boy Bakla: “What the hell is this big boy?”

Eunice P. Winslow: “Get the hell out of my office Bakla.”

Boy Bakla: “Not without this hunk of a man.”

Eunice P. Winslow: “Well he's mine so get the hell out of here.”

Boy Bakla: “After what me and he earlier tonight, we are more than friends if you catch my drift.”

Eunice looks at Scott.

Eunice P. Winslow: “Is this true?”

Scott Logan: “Of course not. Do I look like a fudge packer to you darlin'. I hope not after what we did the other night. You know how you dropped to your knees and....”

Eunice P. Winslow: “That's enough of this discussion. Now get the hell out you tranny.”

Boy Bakla: “Oh Eunice baby don’t be like that, I am willing to share you know. Maybe we can come to some arrangement. Maybe me on the bottom, you in the middle and Scott on top.”.

Scott lets out a sly grin but quickly loses it before Eunice sees.

Eunice P. Winslow: “Get the hell out of her before I call security.”

Boy Bakla: “Always close-minded Eunice…”

Eunice P. Winslow: “It’s none of your business, you sick pervert.”

Boy Bakla: “How about if Ii show you the sex tape me and Scott made?”

Scott is in complete shock as he remembers the sex tape.

Eunice P. Winslow: “Scott? What sex tape?”

Scott Logan: “I-I have no idea what he's talking about?”

Boy Bakla: “Oh hush hush lover boy, You remember don't you? How I sucked the cream from the éclair? How you gave it to me harder than a jackhammer?”

Scott Logan: “Seriously Eunice I have no idea what he's talking about!”

Eunice P. Winslow: “You better be telling the truth. I don’t want anything soiled by Bakla.”

Scott Logan: “I am. The only sex tape I have ever done is the one of you and me.”

Eunice looks pissed at the info that Scott just released.

Eunice P. Winslow: “Both of you out of my office right now. I will talk to you later Scott.”

Scott Logan: “Okay slan darlin'.”

Scott leans in for a kiss but gets rejected but Bakla kisses him instead.

Eunice P. Winslow: “You son of a bitch!!”

Boy and Eunice begin to catfight in the office while Scott stands back and enjoys every moment of it.

Scott Logan: “Catfight!!!”

Allister and Samantha just happen to be walking by and pry them apart.

Eunice P. Winslow: “You’re gonna be sorry Bakla. You hear me? Sorry!”

Boy Bakla: “Oh I'm shaking in my thong.”

Allister looks disturbed.

Allister King: “Sammie? Can we switch who we're holding back?”

Samantha Collins: “You homophobe?”

Allister King: “I don't have a problem with gays I just don't want them showing it to me.”

Samantha Collins: “No.”

Allister lifts Bakla up and runs out the door. He places him in the hands of the security and runs back.

Allister King: “*Pant* I got rid of him… *Pant*”

Samantha Collins: “We need to sort this mess out.”

Allister King: “Okay I got it. At the PPV, it will be Eunice vs that guy or girl or whatever in a handbag match and the winner get Scott.”

Scott Logan: “What?”

Allister King: “So you better hope you win mate or else your ass will be fucked like a cheap hooker.”

Allister and Sammie leave.

Allister King: “Have fun.”

Scott and Eunice stay at each other silently as the camera fades to black.


A shocked look is plastered on the face of both Brad Blood and Jim Jackson...

Brad Blood: "Uh... We say goodbye now?"

Jim Jackson: "Yeah... Um... Next week folks, don't forget. PPV... Goodbye... I need a drink..."


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PostSubject: Re: Lucha Loco 04/17/2011   

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